It was the middle of the night. In the boys' trailer, everyone was sound asleep. The camera focused on Justin for a bit longer. "Hey, keep it moving!" Chris told the camera. Everyone was asleep in the girls' trailer until a horn woke everyone up. "All crew on set!" Chris shouted through a megaphone. "Call time is 4 AM!" He kissed the megaphone. "I love this thing."
Confessional: Beth
"At first, I thought he was talking to the crew crew, not us. I was really hoping they'd replace Chris the Creep with a nicer host this time around. Is that mean? Sorry."
End Confessional
The girls walked out of the cabin, looking tired. "I can't believe I'm doing another season of this show," Leshawna muttered. Izzy easily skipped out while Destiny, still in her pajamas, wobbled as she let out a yawn. The boys also looked tired as they dragged themselves out of their trailer. "This continuing sadistic wake-up call is messing with the natural rhythms of my body clock," Harold moaned. "My mojo will be destroyed!"
Soon, it was morning and everyone was fully awake. "You're on a film set now and you're gonna learn that showbiz is not all red carpets and pool parties," Chris imformed them. "Today you're gonna get schooled on how top on-set production life can be."
"I can handle that," Sky assured him. "I once had to look after a baby griffen. You think they look so cute, and it's so fun seeing them fly around and eating fish...but it's not so fun when you're shoveling the less adorable end of their digestive track with your bandaged arms."
"Speaking of number two, it's time to pick your teammates and then try to stick it to the team your boyfriend chooses." Sky and Dave looked at each other. "We're not going to get all competitive and nasty, are we?" Dave anxiously wondered.
"Absolutely not," Sky assured him. "We've learned from last season...right?" Soon, everyone was lined up. "Okay, let's get this bloodbath started," Chris announced. "Ladies first. Since we have no ladies here, Sky." Sky looked at everyone. "I don't know," she nervously decided, "Um, Duncan?" Dave gasped as Duncan smirked at being chosen first.
Confessional: Dave
"I can't believe she went ahead and chose Duncan! But why him to be first choice? They don't seem alike. You think you know a person!"
End Confessional
"I choose the beautiful Lindsay," Dave decided.
"Yay!" Lindsay cheered as she joined Dave's side. Sky looked on with concern.
Confessional: Sky
"'The beautiful'? I only picked Duncan out of stress! Was Dave picking her just to spite me? You think you know a person!"
End Confessional
"My next choice is Destiny," Sky decided.
"About time I got picked!" Destiny cheered as she walked over to Sky and hugged her. "Bring it here, Firefly!"
"It would be really great if you picked Tyler!" Lindsay squealed.
"Tyler's not competing this time," Dave informed her. "Anyway, I choose Justin." Destiny let out a loud gasp. "Et tu, Brutus!" she declared.
"Excuse me?" Sky wondered, baffled. "And pick the good-looking contestants? That'll get you far." Duncan glared at her. "Because I want to keep things cool, I choose Leshawna."
"The girls are back in town!" Leshawna exclaimed.
"I'll keep things cool, too," Dave shot back. "Rodney."
"Here to help, dude," Rodney assured him as he gave him a hug.
"DJ," Sky decided.
"Beth," Dave chose. Sky was about to pick again. "Remember," Leshawna whispered to her, "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."
"You're not saying-?" Sky asked. "Okay, fair point. We choose Heather." Heather was surprised at this. "Really?" she wondered.
Confessional: Heather
"It's about time someone realized who's the most valuable player here. I mean, seriously, people."
End Confessional
Dave looked between Izzy, Owen and Harold.
Confessional: Dave
"How do I choose between crazy, flaky and useless? At least Owen placed sixth last time. That's worth something."
End Confessional
"Owen," Dave decided.
"Whoo-hoo!" Owen cheered.
"Don't wicked skills count for anything?" Harold wondered. "I mean, who else went to film camp and is fully trained as a junior cinemotographer with a thorough knowledge of lighting filters, film stock-"
"We pick Harold," Sky sighed.
"Wise choice."
"I know, right?" Destiny agreed. "Sky, you know how to pick them." She leaned in closer. "But between you and me," she whispered, "That first choice was a bit, uh, taboo. Guess stress got to you, huh?"
"I guess Izzy's on my team," Dave said, sounding defeated. "Izzy?" Izzy glanced at him but didn't move. "She likes to be called Kaleidescope," Lindsay informed Dave.
"Oh, right," Dave sighed. "E-Scope."
"Here!" Izzy called out. "Hi!"
"Sky," Chris announced, "I christen your team...the Screaming Gaffers!" An image of a light bulb appeared. "Dave, you're the Killer Grips." An image of a fist appeared. "Grip?" Beth gulped. "I don't wanna be a Grip."
"Please," Heather scoffed. "It's not like being called a Gaffer is something to brag about. It sounds like something that has rabies." Everyone heard a crashing sound. "I'm sick and tired of getting no respect around here," an intern grumbled.
"Okay," Chris announced, "Since we're running late now and don't seem to have any more...whatever those two...crew dudes did..."
"Grips and gaffers?" Destiny guessed.
"We better get going. Your challenge: for each team to set up a film set."
"We'll be scarfing flapjacks by seven," Leshawna confidently said.
"Oh, will you?" Chris challenged. "As location manager, I want your sets to go...there!" He pointed to the top of the huge cliff set. "You just love doing this to us," Sky complained.
"Yes," Chris replied, "Yes, I do." He pulled out a walkie-talkie. "Chef, clear for traffic up there?" Chef looked around and shrugged. "Lights!" Chris shouted through a megaphone, making everyone run towards the equipment. "Camera! Action!" Everyone began carrying the equipment up the hill. Sky was about to fall down when Duncan caught her. "What are you doing with him?" Dave asked her.
"We're on the same team," Sky pointed out. Dave continued on but tripped and fell over. Sky was about to help but Lindsay ran over and helped Dave to his feet. "And we're on the same team," he told Sky before running off. Sky just had a puzzled look until Heather bumped into her. "People, this is crazy and inefficient," Heather told them. "I say we organize relay-style and pass the equipment up."
"If you say it," Duncan told her, "Then we're not doing it."
"It's a good idea!"
"I'm totally with you," Harold agreed. "Write down all your good ideas and we can bring them up at the next team meeting. I'll second you. Cool?"
"Go jump in a lake, trout lips." Heather walked away as Harold looked at his lips. "Did Heather say something about trout lips?" Destiny wondered as she approached him. "Oh. She was insulting you, wasn't she? Figures. Come on; let's go!"
Soon, the teams were tied. "It's neck and neck, people!" Chris announced. "Now for the heavy stuff!"
"How the heck are we gonna get those trailers all the way up the hill?" Dave wondered.
"I have a great idea," Lindsay suggested.
Confessional: Lindsay (Killer Grips)
"It's so great to be free from Heather. I can totally contribute more and stuff. I have a lot of unwrapped potential, you know."
End Confessional
"Let's get Tyler to do it!" Lindsay suggested.
"He's not here anymore!" the rest of the Killer Grips told her.
"Oh, right. Bummer." Owen's stomach rumbled. "Owen," Dave told him, "There's catering at the top of the hill. Just take that trailer up there with you and you can eat."
"Eat?" Owen asked, excited. "I love eat!" He undid his belt and looped it to the trailer. Izzy rode the trailer as Owen pulled it up the hill. "Hey, new best friends!" Dave taunted to Duncan and Sky. "How do you like that? You gonna cry together? Because your team is going down!" The Screaming Gaffers gasped in shock. "Not cool," Duncan commented, "Not cool at all."
"Oh, don't worry," Sky told him. "We are taking Dave...I mean, the Grips, down." She looked at DJ. "Oh, no," he said. "Don't expect me to...What if the trailer slips and rolls back down the hill and possibly hurt someone? What then? I couldn't handle being responsible for that."
"Without his belt holding them up," Chris narrated as Owen pulled the trailer, "Owen's pants are slowing him down." Owen's pants fell down, exposing his bare bottom. "Looks like the Screaming Gaffers still have a chance," Chris announced. "Will DJ step up to the plate and save the day?"
"I said no!" DJ argued off-screen.
"Find out after the break to see if DJ rises to the call of duty."
"I'm not gonna do it," DJ said to the camera.
(cue commercial)
"Welcome back to Total Drama Action," Chris announced as he relaxed in a chair and sipped a pineapple drink. "We're in the middle of some pretty wild action right now." Owen continued to pull the trailer up the cliff. "Catering?" he panted.
"Owen, Owen, he's our guy," Beth cheered. "If he can't do it, uh, he's not our guy?"
"There's still time for DJ to step up and be the hero for the Gaffers," Chris told them.
"Do it, DJ!" Harold rallied. "Do it, DJ!"
"How many times do I have to say no?" DJ told his team. Owen reached the top of the hill first, making the Killer Grips cheer. "We actually won!" Beth exclaimed.
"Well," Chris corrected, "Not exactly."
"Pardon?"
"That was only the first part of the challenge. Did I neglect to mention that?" Soon, everyone was at the top of the cliff. "It's time to make a movie," Chris announced. "And what we've got here is the set for a tearjerker, starring an elderly lady considering her long life."
"Gee, how great," Dave blandly commented.
"I can't believe we don't have a trailer," Harold moaned.
"We are so not going to be able to properly apply makeup without vanity lighting," Heather commented. "This could spell disaster. Thanks, DJ."
"You'll be making a feature about a thug who tries to go straight but can't resist the lure of the street," Chris informed the Screaming Gaffers.
"Hasn't that been done?" Sky wondered.
"Hey!" Heather cut in. "What about lunch? We have been working for eight hours and you are legally obligated by union rules to give us a meal break."
"Oh, yeah?" Chris countered. "Who here is in the union?" He raised his hand, but no one else followed suit. "Yeah, I thought so."
"You're gonna let them starve?" Lara, now cosplaying as Marceline from Adventure Time, wondered as she carried something in her hands. "Seriously, dude, that's messed up. Here, dudes." She tossed some of her stuff to the cast, which turned out to be slices of Swiss cheese. "Munch while you work, mice," Lara said with a laugh before walking off.
"Just cheese?" Heather complained as she pulled off her slice.
"Meh, better than nothing," Rodney muffled as he ate his slice.
Confessional: Heather (Screaming Gaffers)
"I am hereby forming local one of United Workers Against Chris. Who's with me? Everybody?"
End Confessional
"And now it's time to choose an actor to perform a scene," Chris announced. "Chef, give the teams their scenes." Chef passed Dave and Sky an envelope to each of them. "All right," Dave began, "We need an old lady."
"Oh, please!" Izzy squealed as she ran up. "Let me do it! It's gotta be me! I've got an old soul. I'm, like, 87 years old on the inside cause I've been reincarnated, like, a whole bunch of times. Actually, I'm the reincarnation of my very own Granny Mavis!" She changed her voice to a Scottish accent. "Aye, there, laddie. Ye spilt a wee bit of haggis on your kilt. And I can tell ya our luck's risin' up to the clouds!" Izzy took a bow. "Okay, fine!" the Grips decided.
"Big lucky parmesano," Sky commented as she, Leshawna and Heather looked at their script.
"A tough guy..." Heather thought. They all looked at Duncan, who was carving a skull. "What?" he wondered.
"You have GOT to play the gangster," Sky told him.
"Don't typecast me. I don't even know if I can act."
"You want Harold to do it?" Heather asked him. "He's as tough as butter."
"Don't expect DJ to be a tough guy," Chef taunted. "That's for sure." DJ teared up at this. "How can you say that?" he whimpered.
"Come on!" Sky persuaded to Duncan. "This is a role you were born to play! You just have to be you." Duncan took the script. "Alright, set up the shot," Chris announced. "Whoever can get Chef, Mister Ex-Army Corporal, to show any emotion wins the challenge." Chef put on a pair of headphones and growled at the camera.
Beth adjusted the lights while Lindsay did Izzy's makeup. "Your makeup...gorgeous!" Lindsay assured her. "And now, I'm gonna make you really feel like an old lady." She made Izzy bend over. "I feel like 80 years have already passed since they started to adjust the lighting," Izzy complained.
"Don't move," Beth told her.
"Oh, don't worry. I can't. My legs are totally asleep."
"Could we get that last line?" Rodney asked her as he and Owen adjusted the sound. Izzy grabbed the boom mic. "MY LEGS ARE ASLEEP!" she shouted, making Owen and Rodney cry out in pain and pass out.
The Gaffers were adjusting their set. "One, I can't memorize this," Duncan complained, "And two, these lines are way out of left field."
"Just say what's written and quit being such a primmadonna," Heather told him.
"We all have a job to do," Leshawna pointed out.
"So you just stand there and look pretty, okay? Pretty boy?"
"DON'T call me pretty," Duncan scolded. "The last guy who called me pretty ended up looking a lot less pretty, get it?" Chris chuckled as he watched behind the set. "Friction between the crew and talent," he commented. "I love it. It's like a real film set."
"You are not pretty, okay Duncan?" Sky told him. "You're hot, okay?" This caught Dave and Destiny's attention. "You look hot, sexy, studlike." Dave had a confused look. "That's better," Duncan said.
"Disregard that comment, people," Destiny told everyone as she pulled Sky aside.
"I can't believe they settled that so fast," Chris complained. "Sometimes this business really stinks."
"What was that?" Destiny asked Sky. "You weren't flirting with Duncan, were you?"
"Ew, no!" Sky argued. "I was just trying to convince him to be the actor, is all."
"It sounded like flirting."
"I didn't mean to make it sound like that, honest." Destiny looked at Sky for a moment. "Okay, then," she said. "I just didn't want things souring between you and Davey. Hey, I managed to bring something up to help us." She set up a keyboard. "I asked Harold if I can practice on this some, and he said yes. Hey, know this tune?" She adjusted the keyboard and began to play. "Anything you say can and will be held against you," she sang, "So only say my name
"It will be held against you
"Anything you say can and will be held against you
"So only say my name..."
"Oh, I love this one!" Sky squealed.
"Care for a duet?" Destiny offered, which Sky nodded in agreement. "If heaven's grief brings hell's rain,
"Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday."
"I know I'm bad news," Sky vocalized.
"For just one yesterday."
"I saved it all for you."
"I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way," Destiny sang, "Still, I'd trade all of my tomorrows for just one yesterday."
"I know I'm bad news," Sky vocalized.
"For just one yesterday."
"I saved it all for you."
"For just one yesterday." The two girls grinned after they finished. "I think that kind of performance will help us a whole lot," Sky told Destiny.
"I know, right?" Destiny agreed. "And I think I know what to play to get Chef worked up."
"There are seven colors on this tape roll thingy," Lindsay said, "I don't know which one to use. And what kind of a shape would a mark be? Like, an 'M' for 'mark' or..."
"My legs are starting to tingle," Izzy moaned. "I don't think I can hold much..." She fell over. "Longer." Lindsay put down a piece of tape. "Aw," Beth complained, "We had the lighting just right!"
"Get back to first positions," Dave ordered.
"It's been decades," Izzy cried out. "Can we just get the ball rolling on my eventual Best Actress nomination?"
"No wonder we're taking so long," Heather complained. "This place is a mess, guys, and you-" Her foot got caught on a wire, and was quickly strung up. "I know you did this, Leshawna! HELP! I'm gonna need a little help here, people!" Harold walked over to her. "I'll help you down, m'lady," he offered. He pushed the light up, making Heather fall down. "Thank you," she blandly told him.
"Anything for m'lady," Harold replied with a bow.
Confessional: Harold (Screaming Gaffers)
"I've been working on my courting skills. Yep, I've mastered girl whispering.
Confessional: Heather (Screaming Gaffers)
"As annoying as hanging around Harold may be, he'll make an easy to persuade alliance member. And right now, m'lady needs all the help she can get."
End Confessionals
"And now," Chris announced, "Time for the final hair and makeup." DJ went over to Duncan. "This light is just appalling!" he declared as he powdered Duncan's nose. "How am I suppose to work without a proper trailer and lighting?" Sky and Leshawna gasped in shock. "I mean, could you tilt that pretty chin up just a smidge?"
"That's enough!" Chef shouted. He pulled DJ over. "I'll finish it up, DJ," Destiny told him. She pulled out a makeup kit from her dress. "A little darkening...possibly a fake scar near the eyebrow..."
"What?" DJ asked as Chef stared him down. "My mama always told me I had a flair for applying her church makeup, so I figured-"
"We've got to toughen you up, you big old marshmallow," Chef interrupted.
Confessional: Chef
"I've gotta admit. I see a bit of myself in DJ. But I had to develop the macho in myself without someone like me helping. This is gonna be fun."
End Confessional
"Here's the deal," Chef told DJ, "I'll help you man up and win this thing. You don't ask any stupid questions and you split the prize with me. Like they say, it's an offer you can't refuse. I won't let you."
Lindsay finished putting on Izzy's costume. "Wow, you don't look like you," she told her.
"Aye, lassie," Izzy replied in a Scottish accent, "That's on account of me being a master thesbien."
"Just lose the Scottish burr, Granny McE-Scope," Dave told her. "It's getting on my nerves."
"Prop the tough guy," Destiny told the Gaffers. Duncan, now with a fake scar on his eyebrow and dark spots on his face, was given a dark fedora and a paintball gun. "Almost," Destiny decided. "Now scowl for me." Duncan gave a scowl, showing a few missing teeth. "Perfect!" Destiny exclaimed.
"How come he's missing teeth?" Sky asked her.
"Special effects, Firefly. It'll wash off. Now for my bit." Destiny ran off-stage. "And that's...action!" Chris announced as he clapped a clapperboard.
"When I was a young schoolgirl in Poland," Duncan recited, to Chris, Chef and Lara's shock, "Frolicking through the fields with my pet goat in the summer sun...those were my happiest days."
"Did you check the envelopes before you labeled them?" Chris asked Chef.
"I thought you checked them," Chef replied.
"Oh, this will be...something," Lara commented as Chris and Chef snickered.
"Now you listen and you listen good," Izzy recited. "If your fighter doesn't go down in the first round, you'll be sleeping with the fishes! And, uh, that's tough to do because, you know, they have no eyelids and it's hard to sleep. Hey, I can flip my eyelids. Anyone wanna see me flip them?" Chef just looked confused. "Worst ad-lib ever!" Lara moaned. "Even Finn is a better actor."
"Yeah, she's nuts," Dave pointed out, "But she's committed. Duncan's gonna have a hard time beating that."
"I've lived a good, long life," Duncan recited as a soft melody played in the background, "I've loved, I've laughed, but what I miss most of all is my sweet little goat. Chopin. Oh, bah...bah..."
"Bah...bah..." Chef repeated as he teared up. He began to cry, alongside Lara. Leshawna and Heather held up a box of tissues as they wiped their dampened eyes. Chef and Lara took a tissue and blew their noses. "Cut!" Chris said with emotion. "Okay, enough! It's too much for Chef to take. Duncan clearly wins for Best Performance. The Screaming Gaffers win it!"
"Hey, hey, I was robbed!" Izzy protested as she tossed her wig down. "I'll see you at the morgue, capiche?!"
"You're gonna teach me how to be a tough guy?" DJ asked Chef as he walked up to him.
"Tough guys cry," Chef argued as he lifted him by his shirt, "And did you notice how your team just won? Who was the judge, DJ? Huh? Who?"
"Great work on the music," Sky complimented as she walked over to Destiny and the keyboard.
"Thanks," Destiny replied. "I just knew Clair De Lune would get a reaction. Just look for yourself." Lara walked by, still in tears. "Sorry," she sniffled, "That song always gets me worked up."
Later, the cast were back at the trailers. Sky stepped outside and walked over to Dave. "Duncan's performance made me realize some stuff," he admitted as he leaned against a tree. "Like, I've loved, lost, but what I miss most...is my sweet little goat Sky."
"Bah..." Sky replied with a laugh.
"You guys are just...friends, right?"
"Of course, Dave. I have to apologize earlier for what happened at the set today. Rest assured that I will NEVER try that strategy ever again."
"Yeah, I'm sorry for the low blows I made, too."
"Whatever. All I know is that I don't want to be you right now."
"Because you're gonna dump me?" Dave gasped.
"No chance!" Sky told him. "More like you have to go vote someone off."
"Whatever. As long as you're here, I'm good."
"Aw, you two look so cudorable together!" Destiny squealed as she skipped over. "Mind if I take a few photos for the fanblogs?"
"Uh..." Dave and Sky thought, unsure.
"Don't worry. The flash's fixed on my heart camera. So, you guys ready?" Sky and Dave smiled and posed for the camera. Destiny took a few photos, which showed the duo smiling, then showed a squirrel skittering around them, then showed the duo panicking over the squirrel getting on the heads before they fell over. "Oh, that'll be a keeper," Destiny giggled as she squirrel scampered off. "And I'll make sure you two get vaccinated so you don't catch any squirrely sicknesses."
Soon, the Killer Grips were seated at the Gilded Chris ceremony. Chris, in a blue tuxedo, walked up to the podium while Chef played the drums. "And now it's your turn to cast your votes and determine who will stroll down the Walk of Shame," Chris began. "Under your seats, you'll find voting devices. Just press the button of the person you want voted off. It's easy, so...cast your votes. Who will it be? Who will be cast off the set?" Chef did a drumroll as the Grips cast their votes. A device printed out the results. "And it looks like all have been cast," Chris announced. "Chef?" Chef passed him the results. "Remember, if you get a Gilded Chris, you get to stay because, rather suitably, the Gilded Chris represents the luster of fame and immortal greatness. And Gilded Chrises go to...Dave, Owen and Beth." Owen put his statue in his mouth. "Foil-covered chocolate," he gushed.
"And now only three nominees left," Chris announced. Justin, Lindsay and Izzy looked concerned. "And the loser is..."
"..."
"...Izzy! Time to go!"
"I'm not going anywhere," Izzy said. "That's not my name!" Chris looked at Chef. "Girl likes to be called Kaleidescope," he shrugged.
"Can I get a pen over here?" Chris asked with annoyance. A pen was tossed to him. "It says E-Scope now, okay?" Izzy stood up. "And remember, you can NEVER come back, EVER!" Chris pressed a button, and Paul and Lacey dragged Izzy down the Walk of Shame and tossed her into the Lame-O-Sine. "This was just a dress rehearsal, my darlings!" Izzy declared as she popped out of the roof hatch and the Lame-O-Sine drove off. "You'll see my star on the Walk of Fame! Mark my words! Mark 'em!"
Here ends episode 3. Izzy, I mean, E-Scope getting cut here was pretty good, so I kept that. Most of the stuff stayed the same, actually, with the only tweaks being the Dave/Sky interactions.
Since this episode didn't have a movie theme but rather focuses on the behind-the-scenes work, I decided to look into what a 'grip' and 'gaffer' is.
Gaffer: The chief electrician in a motion picture or television production unit
Grip: A member of a camera crew responsible for moving and setting up equipment
The interns Paul, Lacey and Lara are OCs created by LaCuevademisgustos.
Next episode will have the cast hang ten and getting their stoke on. Until next time, this is Dunsparce519 saying enjoy and have a good day.