Time 3:50 a.m. December 03, 2001 Willow's Diary Entry
Tabula Rasa. Amazing how two little words have the power to ruin your life. It was stupid. I admit it, but at the moment all I could think about was that I couldn't lose her. I need her too badly. Tara left two days ago and yet it feels like it's been 80 years. 80 years of being whipped and tortured and only she can save me. I just hope it's not going to be too late. I had a dream about her last night, she was dressed like a goddess with light all around her. I reached out to touch her and she kept on moving back, barely escaping my fingers, and with each step I took more tears came down her face. At the end of the dream she faded away but I heard her voice calling me. I woke up and couldn't keep the tears back. I would do anything to get her back. Besides that, Buffy also told me I was the reason she's not in heaven. I was trying to save her, I just can't believe that I completely screwed up again. We couldn't survive a month with out her. I have been holding this in for 2 days now and I just want to say two words to the gods: F**K You!!!!
Time: 4:17 a.m. December 03, 2001 Buffy's Diary Entry
It's been about a week since my last entry, but that's because a lot has happened since then. To sum it up, Xander summoned a musical demon that made us sing and dance, revealing our deepest secrets. The demon thought Dawn summoned him and was going to take her to be his queen. All of my friends now know that they pulled me out of heaven instead of some hell dimension like I let them believe. I think Willow took that news the hardest. I haven't gotten time to talk her about it yet. That's the problem, a lot has been going on in Will's life, any of their lives, and I haven't been around to see it or try to fix it. Between slaying and working, I'm missing out on my life. Anyway, back to the story. Then, Spike saved me from dancing to death, literally, and the demon left when he found out that it was Xander that summoned him. When he left we had a final song and next thing I knew I was following Spike out into the alley where we sang for a few seconds and then had this big show stopping kiss that actually made me feel alive for the first time since the gang took me out of heaven, my peace, my happiness. So, yeah, that is the short but not quite sweet version of what exactly happened. Now whenever I sleep all I have is nightmare after nightmare of the day I told my friends the truth, but it always seems so much better at the end of the dream with Spike, which in itself freaks me out because I shouldn't have happy fuzzy feelings for Spike. I know I've been having those feelings for Spike for a little while, but now they're getting harder to ignore. *yawn* Umm.yeah.that's all for tonight, so write to ya soon.
Tabula Rasa. Amazing how two little words have the power to ruin your life. It was stupid. I admit it, but at the moment all I could think about was that I couldn't lose her. I need her too badly. Tara left two days ago and yet it feels like it's been 80 years. 80 years of being whipped and tortured and only she can save me. I just hope it's not going to be too late. I had a dream about her last night, she was dressed like a goddess with light all around her. I reached out to touch her and she kept on moving back, barely escaping my fingers, and with each step I took more tears came down her face. At the end of the dream she faded away but I heard her voice calling me. I woke up and couldn't keep the tears back. I would do anything to get her back. Besides that, Buffy also told me I was the reason she's not in heaven. I was trying to save her, I just can't believe that I completely screwed up again. We couldn't survive a month with out her. I have been holding this in for 2 days now and I just want to say two words to the gods: F**K You!!!!
Time: 4:17 a.m. December 03, 2001 Buffy's Diary Entry
It's been about a week since my last entry, but that's because a lot has happened since then. To sum it up, Xander summoned a musical demon that made us sing and dance, revealing our deepest secrets. The demon thought Dawn summoned him and was going to take her to be his queen. All of my friends now know that they pulled me out of heaven instead of some hell dimension like I let them believe. I think Willow took that news the hardest. I haven't gotten time to talk her about it yet. That's the problem, a lot has been going on in Will's life, any of their lives, and I haven't been around to see it or try to fix it. Between slaying and working, I'm missing out on my life. Anyway, back to the story. Then, Spike saved me from dancing to death, literally, and the demon left when he found out that it was Xander that summoned him. When he left we had a final song and next thing I knew I was following Spike out into the alley where we sang for a few seconds and then had this big show stopping kiss that actually made me feel alive for the first time since the gang took me out of heaven, my peace, my happiness. So, yeah, that is the short but not quite sweet version of what exactly happened. Now whenever I sleep all I have is nightmare after nightmare of the day I told my friends the truth, but it always seems so much better at the end of the dream with Spike, which in itself freaks me out because I shouldn't have happy fuzzy feelings for Spike. I know I've been having those feelings for Spike for a little while, but now they're getting harder to ignore. *yawn* Umm.yeah.that's all for tonight, so write to ya soon.