Thank you for the reviews.

So yes, we are (finally) here again. This writing lark is hard when you are trying to write about five different things at a time and don't have all day to go between them all... But I am getting there. Like with this. As this was meant to be up on Wednesday...

This does start at the end of chapter 28 (Double Date) of Count On Me and the end part is a bit of a bridge between chapter 31 (Where's Rachel?) and chapter 32 (My Sister, Melissa) of Count On Me. I hope that makes sense and hope you sort of remember what happened... although, if you don't, a quick read through those chapters will probably help to jog your memory.

And this is a line that I've held onto for a while... (although, I'm not really sure about the ending... I don't think I knew how to end it...)

He'll Break My Heart Too

Jane had a lot of ideas as she followed Sally up the stairs. If anyone was to read her thoughts at that moment, they would instantly know that they were just pure filth.

What she didn't know was that Sally's mind wasn't on that just yet and as Jane slammed the door to their bedroom closed (not that she meant to slam it), her only thought was to act on the thoughts that were now driving her wild.

But instead of her partner's lips, Jane felt Sally's hands on her chest, pushing her back, making her fall against the door with a thud. It was a shock to Jane that it happened but she didn't really care how it all went down. Whether she would dominate or Sally would. In fact, sometimes she did like when Sally did dominate more. Maybe it was just a reminder to her of how far they had both come.

"Is that how we are going to play it then?" Jane said, as she held her hands out to Sally, confusion building when Sally crossed her arms over her chest. It was only then that the haze lowered for Jane and she saw the look on her face. She was in trouble for some reason. "What?"

"You know what," Sally said.

"I don't think I do."

"You promised me."

"Promised you what?"

"You said that you would make more of an effort. You promised me that you would behave yourself at this dinner. What part of that dinner was you making more of an effort? For Christ's sake. He reached out to you over it. To see if it was a good idea. He didn't ask me about it. He obviously respects you more than you do him."

That hit Jane in a way that she wouldn't understand there and then. But, as always, there was a part of her that wanted to argue it.

"Hey, I have approved him," Jane said.

"Well you aren't showing it," Sally said.

"She's…"

"Your cousin. I know, Jane. I've always bloody known that and I've let you get away with quite a few things but this. This is just torture now. Are you really not going to allow him the decency to just act like a normal person for one dinner? You said to me that he said he wanted to get to know us better. How much better do you think he knows you know? Because I think you just showed yourself to be… an arsehole."

"It's not…"

"It is," Sally said, cutting her off again. "You specifically asked questions that would make him talk about work. You are responsible for 90% of the money that Eddie put into that glass as a forfeit. I wasn't blind to it and nor was Rachel. What the hell is it going to take for you to stop giving him such mixed messages?"

I don't know was what Jane wanted to say but chose to stay quiet instead. She didn't really know what was holding her back. She had approved of Eddie ages ago. She knew that he wasn't about to run off. He had made many expressions of his love for Rachel. Jane did believe that he was in love with her. And the thought of them all having dinner together had been so thoughtful that it had taken Jane's breath away when he had suggested it.

So why had she given him so much crap over the course of the dinner? Why had she picked moments and questions where she knew that he would end up adding to the forfeit glass? Why was she treating him like she had every other guy that Rachel had gone out with when she knew that he wasn't like any of them?

The truth of it was a little too hard for her at the moment. And that was why she couldn't place it all together.

Because she would have to admit something that she didn't want to admit.

"It's too late now," Sally said. "You are an idiot."

"An idiot you've been with for the last 18 years."

"Jane! I'm being serious. You've got to make more of an effort. Or… otherwise… I'm scared you are going to drive him away."

Jane was able to swallow the argument that was building inside her that time. This wasn't the time to be arguing when she knew that there were feelings that she didn't understand. And she would have to understand them at some point soon. Otherwise, Sally was right, she would drive him away. And it would be the one time that both Sally and Rachel would never forgive her.

"Are we still going to do this?" Jane asked tentatively.

"Is your mind still in the gutter then?"

"When I am with you, it's always in the gutter."

"Yeah, well, I think you need to be taught a lesson."

That sent a shiver down Jane's spine, even more when Sally held out her hands. Jane had to hold back her eagerness when she took Sally's hands. They had spent too much time talking and not enough time kissing and doing other things. And Jane was prepared to worship every inch of Sally's body if that meant that she got back in her good books.

Although, Jane didn't expect to be pushed against the dressing table, making her lean against it.

"Stay there," Sally said in a commanding tone that made Jane want to do the exact opposite. "And keep your hands by your side."

"What if I don't?" Jane said, her more rebellious side wanting to know what would happen if she did push it.

"Then the longer you'll have to wait."

"Wait for what?"

The smile that Sally gave her told Jane that she wouldn't be able to do as she was told. That was long before the dress hit the floor. And Jane was sure that her knuckles were white as she gripped onto the dressing table tightly.

Sally wasn't out to punish her.

She was out to kill her.

"For Christ's sake, Jane! How many times do we have to have this conversation before it finally gets through that thick skull of yours?"

Jane was starting to wonder why all of the arguments that she had with Sally revolved around Eddie. The man in question wasn't at the hospital, taking a couple of hours to sort himself out and have some time to not be sitting next to his coma-induced… whatever Rachel was to him.

The problem wasn't that Jane didn't understand why she was still acting strangely around Eddie, despite approving of him ages ago. No, the problem was that she didn't want to admit the reason. She just knew that she had to at some point. Probably soon. Especially if Eddie told Sally about the way that she ran into him when she got to the school, relieved that he was safe.

"I really don't know what you want me to say," Jane said.

"I want you to tell me the reason why you are holding back. What is so bad that you can approve of him but not let him in?"

"Because he'll break my heart too," Jane said quickly before sighing heavily. "If he breaks Rachel's heart, he'll break mine as well. I… I haven't loved another guy like I love him. For Rachel, of course."

"Of course," Sally said.

"The last man that I loved… was my dad. And I felt so let down by him. I felt… almost betrayed by him. He was the only man that I thought I was going to love. Even long before I worked out my sexuality and that you could love people of the same gender. I knew he was going to be the only man that I was ever going to love. It's… It's the same reason I am as hard on James as I am. Especially when he has been a… great support for you. All that crap that happened. I didn't care. I didn't care what information you were giving your employers about my family because I didn't care for the family and I thought it was the way that I was going to find Rachel.

"I can't allow myself to get close to anyone. You know that. I've only been hurt and… used, I suppose. The family. Claire. I did love her. At the time… I think I would have gone to the ends of the Earth for her. It's why I will do anything for you. Anything you wanted, I would get it for you. Even more so as you are the one still here by my side." Jane sighed. "So as much as I know Eddie is good for Rachel. No matter how much I know that he does love her, cherishes her. I know that he's wormed his way in somehow and if they break up, if something happens and it ends them. He'll end up breaking my heart as well as yours and Rachel's and I can't go through that all again."

Just by the look on Sally's face, Jane gathered that Sally might have already worked it out and that she had just wanted Jane to admit it. Outloud. Sally knew her too well. She knew that Jane wouldn't change her behaviour unless she admitted it to those around her. Now that Sally did know for sure, she could hold Jane accountable for her actions. And if the last punishment was anything to go by, Jane knew that she would quickly be changing her behaviour so she didn't have to go through that torture again.

"You are actually quite soft once you get through that hard exterior," Sally said.

"You are pushing it, Sally."

"No, it's cute. I adore your softer side."

"Do you really think I will push him away?"

"Not now that he's heard that he will break your heart as well as Rachel's."

Jane felt her eyes go wide before she spun on the spot, being faced with Eddie standing behind her, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Maybe that was the most annoying thing about him. He always made an effort.

"I don't… plan on breaking anyone's heart," Eddie said. "Just… if I got through everything with Danny, surely… surely nothing is going to come between us."

Jane, honestly, didn't want to get her hopes up too much but she knew that he had a point. Everyone had left Rachel once they had found out about what Danny had made her do. Eddie hadn't. Eddie had stayed by her side throughout and been a level of strength and comfort that Rachel needed in addition to Jane and Sally.

"No, it shouldn't do really," Jane said.

It was the start of a new understanding between them. That Eddie was a part of the family and that he was there to stay. Rachel wouldn't find that out for a few weeks. And it would hurt all four of them when Melissa decided to jump her attack on Eddie. But it would also bring so much jubilation. Because Eddie did mean what he said. He didn't plan on breaking anyone's heart. He did, but unintentionally. But an unhappy couple of weeks was worth the years of happiness that Jane and Sally shared with Rachel and Eddie. And Jane was glad that she could open her heart up to him.