A/N: Parody of Winter Thundermans of Loud House
It's Christmas time in the Simpson's house. Everyone is in the Christmas cheer, except Bart however. In the living room, Margo and Lisa are decorating.
MARGO S.: I can't believe this is my first REAL Christmas.
LISA S.: How was Christmas like for you guys?
MARGO S.: Well, Miss Hattie always celebrates Christmas for herself, and she tells us how bad girls we are when most of us are good.
LISA S.: That's sad.
MARGO S.: How's it like for you?
LISA S.: Everyone has the Christmas cheer except for Bart.
MARGO S.: Really, how come?
LISA S.: He said he always hated it ever since he was born.
Bart came downstairs.
BART S.: Ugh! Christmas again. It's always full of happiness.
MARGO S.: Why do you hate Christmas?
BART S.: The songs, everyone being nice, and eating figgy pudding. I sometimes wish I could ruin this holiday.
LISA S.: You can't defeat the spirit of Christmas, Bart. *Ringing sleigh bells at Bart's face* Merry almost Christmas!
Homer and Marge came in.
MARGE S.: Wow, Lisa, you have outdone yourself.
Edith, Agnes, and Maggie entered from outside.
AGNES S.: Merry almost Christmas.
BART S.: OK! WE GET IT!
LISA S.: I know how about we do secret Santas where everyone gets someone a gift?
Lisa picks up a hat of names and instantly, everyone got the names out.
AGNES S.: I got Mom.
MARGE S.: I got Bart.
HOMER S.: I got Margo.
EDITH S.: Sweet! I got myself!
LISA S.: Well, I got Dad, which means Bart has Agnes.
BART S.: *Points at Agnes* You're going down, Agnes!
AGNES S.: *Afraid* Does anyone wanna switch places with me?
Edith comes back with snow.
EDITH S.: IT'S BLIZZARD TIME! *Throws water at Lisa*
Lisa glared at her.
EDITH S.: Oops. *Sheepish*
It's now Christmas Eve. Bart and Milhouse are in the kitchen.
MILHOUSE vH.: It's already Christmas Eve, Bart, and you haven't asked me about my mistletoe hat.
BART S.: Fine! What's the deal?
MILHOUSE vH: This year, I'm Christmas as an excuse to get a smooch from your sister.
BART S.: Milhouse, you know Lisa can't stand you since the first time you guys met.
MILHOUSE vH.: But this needs to work to be a Christmas miracle and also have her as my girlfriend. So what's with the box?
BART S.: Agnes wants a white Christmas so I'm giving her one. But it may be green and stinky by the time she opens it.
When Margo and Lisa enter, singing Christmas tree farm, Bart quickly hides the gift for Agnes.
BART S.: That song sucks more than Mom sucks Homer's dick.
LISA S.: You're such a grinch, Bart.
MILHOUSE vH.: Hey, Lisa, there's something in my eye.
Lisa rolls her eyes and checks Milhouse's eye.
MILHOUSE vH.: Uh-oh. Look who's under the mistletoe, now you have to kiss me.
LISA S.: Oh ok.
Milhouse prepares to get the kiss he always wanted, but Lisa grabs a frog and Milhouse kisses that instead. They broke off the kiss and Milhouse started screaming.
MILHOUSE vH.: AAAAAAAAAAH! *Ran off*
MARGO S.: Simp!
It was the night before Christmas. Bart's bedroom.
BART S.: Stupid, Lisa. Always trying to get me into the Christmas spirit.
EDITH S.: I tried to stop her, Bart, but she's a strong one.
BART S.: *Yawns* Let's just go to bed.
Bart and Edith went to bed. A few hours later, a spirit that looked like Lisa teleported in front of Bart's bed.
?.: You should like, totally wake up, Bart Simpson.
Bart woke up and saw a valley version of her dorky sister.
BART S.: *Nervously* Mom? Dad? Lisa finally snapped
SPIRIT OF XMAS PAST.: *Valley Girl Accent* As if. I'm not "Lisa." I am the spirit of Christmas Past.
Bart throws his shoe at her but it went right through her.
BART S.: What the-
SPIRIT OF XMAS PAST.: I told you, I'm not "Lisa." I came to show you that all your lame ideas to ruin Christmas failed. Like royally.
BART S.: Ok, spirit of Christmas past, exactly when in the past is that outfit cool?
SPIRIT OF XMAS PAST.: The 80's, barf bag. Now, come see how bogus you've become in the past.
BART S.: I've always ruined Christmas, and I always will.
SPIRIT OF XMAS PAST.: Your right- SIKE!
They teleported to Bart's first Christmas.
BART S.: Hey, this is my first home in the apartment.
SPIRIT OF XMAS PAST.: No, duh. This is the first lame gift you tried to give your Dad.
In the living room, Homer is holding Baby Bart.
PAST HOMER S.: Merry Christmas, little Bart Jr.
PAST BART S.: Barf. *Barfs on Homer*
PAST HOMER S.: WHY YOU LITTLE! *Strangles him*
BART S.: Direct hit! Take that, Christmas.
SPIRIT OF XMAS PAST.: Keep watching.
Marge appears in the living room.
PAST MARGE S.: Aww! My special little guy said his first word.
BART S.: Um, I'm pretty sure my first words were; Ay caramba.
SPIRIT OF XMAS PAST.: Well, let's go scope it up, Mcfly.
Bart and the spirit teleported to when Bart was 8 and Lisa was 6.
BART S.: Oh hey, we're at our current house again.
In the living room, Bart is giving presents to his family.
PAST BART S.: Don't just stand there, open your presents.
They opened their presents but they apparently all got coal.
PAST BART S.: Ha! Merry Christmas, sucker! *Ran off*
PAST LISA S.: Well, that's Christmas ruined.
Suddenly, all the coal combined together to make a diamond. Everyone gasped.
PAST MARGE S.: It's a Christmas miracle!
PAST HOMER S.: Christmas rules. Thanks, Bart!
BART S.: Don't thank, me.
SPIRIT OF XMAS PAST.: Now, do you see how you're like totally wasting your time trying to kill the Christmas spirit? It'll always turn your bad gifts into good gifts. So, you might as well just give Agnes a good gift.
BART S.: Or I get Agnes no gift at all.
SPIRIT OF XMAS PAST.: Hey, don't thank me. That wasn't even the point.
BART S.: Can't hear ya-
Bart woke up in his bed.
BART S.: Well, now I know what to do.
Bart stood up from his bed and replaces the gift with an empty present. He then rushes back to bed, not wanting to wake Edith up from her own dreams.
BART S.: And now, nature's lullaby.
Bart puts on a series of things being destroyed, putting him to sleep. However, he suddenly woke up from a tube whack.
?.: Wake up, Bart. It's Christmas morning.
Another spirit that looked like Lisa appeared in front of Bart's bed.
BART S.: What the crabapples are you supposed to be?
SPIRIT OF XMAS PRESENT.: I'm the spirit of Christmas "present." Get it?
BART S.: Got it. Let's "wrap" this up. Get it?
SPIRIT OF XMAS PRESENT.: Can't. You didn't learn a thing from the past. So, now I have to show you Agnes' reaction when she opens her present.
BART S.: No thanks, barf bag. *Smirks* See, I did learn something.
Bart goes back to sleep but gets whacked again.
BART S.: OW! Why's the wrapping paper so painful?
SPIRIT OF XMAS PRESENT.: *Pulls out a bat* Because, it's a bat.
BART S.: I'll get my shoes.
Bart puts on his shoes and goes to the Lisa-looking spirit.
SPIRIT OF XMAS PRESENT.: *Sighs happily* I love my job.
They teleported to Christmas morning. Everyone is gathered in the living room.
BART S.: Man! I look good in the morning.
PRESENT BART S.: *Gives present to Agnes* Here you go, Agnes.
PRESENT AGNES S.: Thanks, Bart.
PRESENT BART S.: Oh it's, "nothing."
BART S.: *Laughs* And I'm funny too.
PRESENT AGNES S.: Hey, what gives?
PRESENT MARGO S.: There's no gift.
PRESENT HOMER S.: THAT IS MESSED UP!
Bart rubbed his hands devilishly next to the spirit.
PRESENT BART S.: Uh-Merry Christmas.
PRESENT MARGE S.: BARTHOLOMEW JOJO SIMPSON! APOLOGIZE!
PRESENT BART S.: Only if you apologize for my middle name.
PRESENT MARGE S.: I'm sorry.
PRESENT BART S.: *Surprised* Oh... Well, I'm still not apologizing.
PRESENT LISA S.: *Stood up* Don't worry, guys, it's gonna take a lot more than that, *Looks at Agnes* right, Agnes.
Present Agnes runs up to her room crying.
SPIRIT OF XMAS PRESENT.: Batter up! *Whacks Bart*
Bart wakes up from his dream.
BART S.: This dream finally opened my eye. I think I learned a valuable lesson about Christmas. What kind of small-minded person would ruin a little girl's Christmas-
In the living room.
BART S.: When he could ruin EVERYONE'S CHRISTMAS!
Bart is shown carrying a sack of everyone's Christmas presents, including the Christmas tree. He crackled an evil laugh before going into his room to put the sack in his closet and then dashed to his bed.
But he wakes up again by a bed thudding.
BART S.: Please don't be another weird Lisa.
SPIRIT OF XMAS FUTURE.: I am the spirit of Christmas Future. Where we have awesome haircuts and giant candy. Bart Simpson, you stole Christmas from your family.
BART S.: That's right, what are you gonna do about it? *Scared* AAAAH! DON'T HIT ME!
SPIRIT OF XMAS FUTURE.: Ah. That's right. "Present" was here. She bats clean-up on our softball team.
Bart and the spirit teleported to the living room. The couch was black and the was a portrait of the family in black suits.
BART S.: Dark couches. Black suits. Wow, we really turned into a life of crime, but where's Agnes?
SPIRIT OF XMAS FUTURE.: We'll get to that later. But first, behold!
Homer and Marge appeared evil crackling and carrying gold bars.
SPIRIT OF XMAS FUTURE.: After you sank their joy, they turned into a life of crime. Now let's see what you're sisters are up to.
They teleported into the school.
BART S.: Springfield Elementary. Looks like I finally turned this place around.
SPIRIT OF XMAS FUTURE.: No. Your sisters did.
Everyone is chained to some parts of the school. Bart looked a bit surprised his sisters did this.
SPIRIT OF XMAS FUTURE.: It is now called, Lisa Simpson Academy of Fear, and here comes its wicked queens now.
Lisa and Margo entered the school and sat on their thrones.
BART S.: Oh my gosh.
Lisa and Margo clanked their thrones with their iron fists causing the school to vibrate.
SPIRIT OF XMAS FUTURE.: They turned so bad, they rule the school with iron fists. They go them from a diabolical accident. Now let's visit your roommate. *Referring to Edith*
They teleported to an underground base.
BART S.: Wow! Edith bought an underground base.
SPIRIT OF XMAS FUTURE.: This lair belongs to the evilest person in the family. Edith was left with no video games for Christmas, which lead her to 14-16 hours angry.
Edith entered the base talking to someone on the phone.
FUTURE EDITH S.: Now, listen here. Put Santa on the phone or the elves get it!
The elves are tied up on the floor.
BART S.: And where am I?
The spirit pointed to the cell which had Bart in it.
FUTURE BART S.: Hey, Edith. really funny whatcha' doing to those elves. Please, free me?
FUTURE EDITH S.: Sure Bart. How about a SHUT-YOUR-MOUTH SANDWICH?!
BART S.: *Gulps* Well, where's Agnes?
They teleported to an orphanage room.
BART S.: What's this place?
SPIRIT OF XMAS FUTURE.: This is the orphanage where your adopted sisters lived. Agnes chose not to be evil so her family gave her back to the orphanage.
BART S.: Hey, that's Agnes.
Agnes is currently playing with her unicorn. Edith suddenly appeared and grabbed her toy.
FUTURE AGNES S.: Edith, please. That's all my family I have left.
FUTURE EDITH S.: Should've turned evil like the rest of us then. *Leaves*
Agnes lay on the floor crying.
BART S.: What have I done? I was meant to ruin one day, not her whole life.
SPIRIT OF XMAS FUTURE.: Sorry, Bart Simpson. It's too late.
The spirit suddenly disappeared.
BART S.: No, no, don't go, don't go-
Bart is in his bed repeating the words he said in his dream.
BART S.: Don't go, don't go.
Bart stood up there was only one thing to do.
And so Bart saved Christmas by putting the presents back and giving Agnes a golden unicorn toy. He was glad that everyone never became evil.