A.N. Important Story Notes. So I managed to get this edited in time to post early since I'm not sure when the next one will be ready, and things are pretty busy right now. There's more going on in this chapter, and I had to make the choice to make this super long or split it. So there are elements that will be resolved/addressed more deeply in the next chapter-it's all coming, but I wanted to have a more natural story flow. If you have any questions or just want to talk about all things Inuyasha Inu/Kag-related, stop by my Tumblr! Over there I'm shikonstar.
Also, thanks to the anon that mentioned that Inuyasha wasn't tagged as a character! I posted while the site was having a bit of a hiccup and I guess it didn't take. It has been corrected, and to answer your question, yep, this is Inu/Kag all the way!
Kagome flopped back onto the floor, her fingertips slightly numb from peeling wallpaper. She had sat hunched over her desk all morning and had finally given in to the need to get up and do something physical. In an attempt to make the world a better place, she had decided to tackle the walls of one of the hideous spare bedrooms.
Her progress was slow since the stuff wanted to cling to the walls, but she was pleased that she had managed to remove a little over half of the paper from one wall. For doing it all by herself, she hadn't done too badly.
Glancing at her watch, she wondered if Inuyasha would be home in time for lunch. It was probably going to be grilled cheese, and that wasn't really something you could make in advance. He had gone into the city to meet with Sesshomaru, so she at least knew he wouldn't be lingering longer than absolutely necessary. Things were better between the brothers than they used to be, but she knew Sesshomaru had a way of setting off Inuyasha's temper.
With a grunt, she pushed herself to her feet, wincing as the blood rushed back into her legs. She might as well sit and wait in the kitchen; at least that way, she could rehydrate herself. On wobbly legs, she staggered down the hall, one hand resting lightly on the wall for support. She couldn't help the smile that lit her face when she reached the kitchen, struck as always by the view from the picture window. It was stunning, and she was already toying with the idea of taking a daily picture for a series she was wanting to paint.
It had been nearly three months since she moved in, and she still couldn't believe how natural it felt. While she and Inuyasha had their own separate jobs, they ended up spending a lot of time together working on the house and hanging out together in the evenings. Sometimes it was watching movies or playing cards, and at other times they sat in companionable silence as they read or worked on their laptops. Not only that, but it seemed as if Inuyasha felt some sort of pull, at least. He was always seeking her out, and a few times, his expression had been….well, she hadn't wanted to read something into it that wasn't there, but surely she wouldn't get weak-kneed if there wasn't something, right?
Kagome bit her lip as she reached for a glass. Things were wonderful, and it lowered her defenses. Rather than getting sick of him, she had found herself becoming more and more addicted to his presence. That feeling was only enhanced by the fact that not only was Inuyasha not dating Kikyo, but he didn't seem to be going on any dates at all. Kagome's natural optimism couldn't help whispering that, just maybe, she might finally have the chance she had always longed for.
The sound of an engine alerted Kagome that Inuyasha had returned, and she finished her water before reaching into a cabinet for a pan. She had just turned on the stove and was unwrapping the bread when the door opened, and she glanced over her shoulder when she heard him reach the kitchen.
"Did I miss lunch?" Inuyasha asked plaintively, yanking at the black and red tie around his neck as if he couldn't get it off fast enough.
"Nope, I was just getting started. Want some chips while I grill these?" Kagome asked, trying hard not to stare; Inuyasha may hate wearing suits, but his body looked like it was made to be poured into them.
"Let me change into somethin' that isn't strangling me first," he said, already unbuttoning his shirt as he turned away.
Kagome tossed the bag of chips on the table, refraining from telling him that he could strip down right there. Nothing like lunch and a show...Clearly, Miroku had rubbed off on her without her knowing it.
Getting herself under control so he wouldn't smell her excitement, Kagome was almost done with the first sandwich by the time Inuyasha made it back, now wearing jeans and one of his nicer t-shirts. Kagome was a little surprised because around the house, he usually wore scruffy clothes to work in or basketball shorts and sleeveless tanks for sitting around. The smell of hot cheese distracted her, and she plated the sandwich and slid it over to him before starting on her own.
"How did I survive before you moved in?" Inuyasha groaned, sinking his fangs into the steaming, melted cheese.
"On ramen and cold pizza?" Kagome shot back, snagging a chip before flipping her sandwich.
"Both are valid options. But most of the time, it was forgetting to eat and then being too tired to bother when I finally remembered."
Kagome wrinkled her nose. "This from the same man who used to yell at me when I came to school without eating breakfast. I don't get how you can be such a mother hen and still take such poor care of yourself."
He shrugged one shoulder but was unable to answer around the handful of chips he had shoved into his mouth.
Turning off the stove, Kagome took her food over to the table, sitting down across from Inuyasha. She took a couple of bites before speaking.
"Do you have any plans for the night? We could get more of that wallpaper down or watch a movie if you aren't feeling like it," she offered.
Inuyasha was shaking his head as he swallowed a mouthful. "No, not tonight. I got a text from Kikyo. She wants to talk about gettin' back together, so I have to go over there for a while."
Old reflexes made sure that her reiki suppressed her emotions, and she gave no outward sign that her heart had ruptured right down the middle. Inside, she was a mess. How could she have fooled herself into thinking this wasn't coming? With one casual sentence, all of her budding hopes and dreams were scorched back down to the roots, and a truckload of salt poured over them for good measure. There was no way she could continue to live here. No way in hell. Watching Kikyo glide around the place when she came over to stay would crush her, as would the nights when Inuyasha didn't come home at all. Is that what was going to happen tonight? The cheese in her mouth suddenly felt rubbery and rancid, and she had to force herself to swallow.
No. She had made a mistake, but that didn't mean she had to continue. She was leaving as soon as possible, and this time, she knew she was going to have to completely cut contact with Inuyasha if she had any hope of moving on with her life. It was unfortunate, but until she could process the pain and be in a stable enough place to be a good friend, that was the way it had to be.
"Oh! Well, that works out for me, actually. I have a few things I really need to get done-in fact, I might have to stay with my family if it gets too late," she rambled, cursing the fact that her voice had an overly bright, unnatural quality to it.
Inuyasha blinked at her, puzzled by the almost frantic energy that was pouring off of her as she jumped up and began clearing the mess from lunch. "Are you sure? I don't think it'll take long. I could probably squeeze in a movie when I get back," he said, for some reason not wanting to leave the house at all now.
"No! No, don't change your plans-seriously, I've actually put this off for too long," she gave a laugh that held a bitter edge. "I should go and get started. I'll probably see you tomorrow, okay? Okay," she scurried out of the room without waiting for an answer.
Inuyasha sat staring after her, his chips forgotten. What the hell had that been about? He could practically feel whatever it was buzzing underneath her skin, but she had such tight control over it that he couldn't sort out the emotions. His eyes narrowed. This had happened on and off since she moved in, although never as strongly as now. As for her having plans for the night, he didn't buy it. She was avoiding him for some reason, and he couldn't lie and say it didn't hurt that she was clearly hiding something from him. They had become so close since her return that the sudden distance she was putting between them felt unnatural.
Having known Kagome for so long, Inuyasha realized it would be useless to confront her. For someone that forced him out of his shell and continually preached the virtues of communication, she was the human equivalent of a clam. Exhaling a short huff of frustration, he stood up to put his plate in the sink. He had only one option, and that was to go get it out of Sango. If Kagome wasn't telling him, then Sango had to know something-and if Kagome was hiding things from Sango as well, then he knew he could count on Sango to help him pry out the information one way or another. Even Miroku was disturbingly perceptive, so between the three of them, they should be able to figure out something.
He walked down the hallway and gave a sharp rap on her door before calling, "Hey, I remembered somethin' else I need to do, so I'm gonna head out now. I'll leave the truck in case you need it, okay?"
"That's fine, thanks!" Kagome's oddly muffled voice floated out to him.
He stared at the door with a frown. Kagome usually would have opened the door to answer, which meant she really was avoiding him. He had to take a deep breath and remind himself that he wasn't the seventeen-year-old hothead that barreled into a situation with guns blazing.
He was a twenty-three-year-old hothead that got all of the information and then barreled in with guns blazing.
Kagome waited until she heard the front door shut, then whipped her phone out and hit Sango's number. Her breaths were coming in deep, shuddering sobs, and she could barely make out the words on the screen. Why did this have to happen? Just….why? With one casual sentence, he had dropped a bomb on her and walked away before he could see the damage from the fallout.
"Hey, Kagome! What's up?" Sango answered after the second ring.
"S-Saaaaangoooooo!" Kagome wailed, curling into a tight ball. "It's over! You have to help me get out!"
All of the cheerfulness evaporated from Sango's voice to be replaced by panic. "What? Kagome, what's going on? Are you alright? Miroku, get ready-Kagome may need help!" She shouted the last part away from the phone.
"Not that kind of help, Sango," Kagome managed to say, knowing the last thing that was needed was to have them making an unnecessary trip. "It's Inuyasha. Kikyo texted him, a-a-and they're g-getting back t-t-together!"
"What?! Oh, fuck no. Please tell me he isn't being that stupid!" Sango growled into the phone.
Oddly, this helped Kagome calm down a little. She was an adult, and she needed to get a grip. "It's me who was being stupid. I knew this was going to happen, and I put myself into this situation anyway. You can see why I can't stay here, though, right?"
"Ugh. Yeah, that would be hell. What are you going to do? Just tell me what you need, and I'll do it."
"I hate to ask, but do you think Miroku could move in here temporarily? Inuyasha needs help with the house, and if he has someone, he won't try to get me to stay longer. I know Miroku was looking for a new place, so maybe this would help him, too?"
"Oh...I...sure, I'll talk to Miroku and see what we can do. Look, don't do anything crazy, okay? I'll call you back later, and we'll figure something out."
Kagome sniffled, already mentally packing her belongings for a fast exit. "Alright. I'll talk to you later. Thanks, Sango."
Kagome ended the call, then rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. Her whole body felt like lead. She hadn't thought it was possible, but she felt even worse than when she had left the first time. The worst part was that she couldn't even blame Inuyasha. He hadn't given her any signals that he was thinking about her romantically, and he had every right to see whoever he wanted. It wasn't his fault she was in love with him. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't in love with her. And it wasn't his fault that she had put herself in this position and gotten in over her head.
"Never again. I'm never putting myself through this ever, ever again," she said quietly before allowing herself to cry.
She would be sure she was able to fake a smile long enough to get out of there, so Inuyasha never knew how much she was hurting.
The drive into the city had been tense, and Inuyasha found himself parking in front of Sango's apartment before he realized he hadn't even checked to see if she was home. He was just about to snarl when he noticed that Miroku's car was parked a few spaces away, which meant they were both there or would be back soon. He hopped out of the Amigo and made his way to the front door, carefully stepping around the two little girls playing on the sidewalk out front. He didn't bother with the elevator, and it only took him a couple of minutes before he was standing in front of Sango's unit. He knocked on the door, then stuffed his hands in his pockets to keep his fists from clenching, something he always did when he was nervous or upset.
The door was opened by Miroku, whose eyes widened when he saw Inuyasha. "Um, Sango?" He called over his shoulder with a strained voice. "We have a visitor."
Inuyasha stood there awkwardly, unsure why Miroku didn't seem to want to let him in. He was about to ask when he heard Sango's footsteps rapidly approaching.
"Oh. Inuyasha," she bit out, hostility coming off of her in waves. "I suppose you had better come in."
There were few things in life that Inuyasha feared, but a pissed-off Sango was near the top of his list.
"What the hell, Miroku! I haven't even done anything!" He whispered as he went in, suddenly not wanting to get too far away from the exit.
Sango crossed her arms tightly, her lips thinning into a firm, straight line. "Did you just drop by, or did you need something?" She asked as they entered the living room, none of them making a move to sit down.
Inuyasha darted a probing gaze at each of them, but neither would meet his eye. "Yeah, actually. I came over to ask you about Kagome. She's hiding somethin' and I wanna know what the deal is."
Miroku visibly stiffened, and Sango let out a resigned sigh. Both reactions had Inuyasha instantly on edge.
"I just spoke to her. Maybe I should just go ahead and tell you; Kagome needs to move out, and she was wondering if Miroku would move in and take her place."
That hadn't been what he was expecting, and he was filled with hurt and confusion that Kagome hadn't told him herself.
"What? Why would she move out? She never acted like anything was wrong!" Ice-dipped claws of panic tore at his insides.
Sango shrugged, still not looking at him. This was an uncomfortable position to be in, especially since she had seen that things had finally started to develop between her two friends.
"I think Kagome is planning to move quite far away in the future, and she didn't want to leave you without help," Miroku tried to explain, hoping to calm the rising tension in the room.
Inuyasha cocked his head to the side. "But….she just moved back! And even if she does decide to move, why can't she just stay with me until then? It'd save on rent, and she wouldn't have to go through moving all of her stuff more than she has to. Besides, I thought you were planning on movin' in with Sango."
With a guttural yell, Sango threw her arms in the air, her expression that of a woman who had been pushed just that much too far. "I'm done! Completely done! This ends now—no, Miroku, don't try to stop me!"
Miroku wisely shut his mouth and stepped back, sparing a pitying look for a very bewildered Inuyasha. This was a long time in coming, and while normally he wouldn't advocate betraying a confidence, he had a feeling that in this case people were going to be hurt needlessly if something wasn't done.
"I've had to tiptoe around this for years, and it hasn't done any good," Sango said, advancing on Inuyasha as he crab shuffled towards the door. "Kagome is in love with you, and she's not living with you while you do the whole Kikyo mess again—which I thought you had finally gotten smart about, but surprise, surprise, you haven't!"
Inuyasha's mouth fell open as Sango jabbed her finger into his chest, but he wasn't able to say anything as she continued to speak.
"Kagome is leaving again since the first attempt to get you out of her head didn't work. This time, I'm pretty sure it's permanent. So let her go; give her at least some dignity, and don't attempt to contact her."
Inuyasha felt oddly disconnected from his body. "Are you saying that this is why she left the first time?" He asked quietly, his ears quivering as they pressed tightly to his head. This couldn't be happening. Not again.
Sango's severe expression lessened a fraction. "Yes, but she went to her uncle's because it truly was the best move for her career—so it's not like it was a life-ruining choice or anything. Look, Kagome is going to be alright. Eventually. It's just…she has to be away from you to get there."
"H-how long has she felt like this about me?" Inuyasha knew he probably sounded pathetic asking so many questions, but he couldn't help himself. He came here looking for answers-he just hadn't realized before now that he had never asked the right questions.
"Since she was fifteen," Sango sighed. "And it's been hell for her the whole time-especially since you didn't make it very easy for her."
"Whaddya mean by that?" He snapped, slightly offended. He had never known she felt that way, and he had certainly never done anything that would hurt her!
"Did you forget that you asked Kagome to help set you up with Kikyo in the first place?" Miroku chimed in.
"And that time you told her she was lucky she had never been in a relationship, so she didn't have to understand that kind of pain," Sango added.
"I thought she was going to have an aneurysm when you suggested that she ask Kikyo for tips on how to style her hair," Miroku mused, giving a small shudder; he had quickly made himself scarce for that eruption.
"Ooooh, and the Christmas thing!"
"The Christmas thing may have been the worst," Miroku agreed.
"What Christmas thing?!" Inuyasha yelped, his head swinging between one and the other as they batted his emotions back and forth like a tennis ball.
Sango arched her eyebrow at him. "That year that you took Kagome out to a really nice dinner right before Christmas and put an expensive bracelet on her wrist..."
"Right before you told her you wanted to make up with Kikyo and asked her if it would be a good apology gift," Miroku added with a frown. He knew Inuyasha hadn't meant anything hurtful by it, but that had been beyond dense.
Each example had hit him like a physical blow, and that last one nearly knocked the wind out of him. Kagome had never let on, but having to go through shit like that for years had to be brutal. If he had known, especially in the beginning, when he had wanted—but they had been friends, and the fear that that might have ruined things…..it looked like his weak reasoning hadn't made a difference.
"I didn't know," he pleaded, his voice low and shaking. "Sango, I didn't know! I never would have done anything to hurt her on purpose! She's my best friend. She's-fuck it, she's Kagome!"
At his shattered expression, Sango slumped, the last of her anger draining away. She couldn't truly be mad at him. As crude and insensitive as he could sometimes be, Sango knew that he would never knowingly cause Kagome pain. She just hated knowing that Kagome was hurt, all for a relationship that she knew didn't hold any fulfillment for Inuyasha.
"I know you wouldn't. But don't you see now that letting her leave is the best thing you can do for her?"
Inuyasha tried to process the idea of no longer having Kagome in his life. No more movie nights. No more long conversations about their various projects. No more magical peanut butter cookies when he was having a bad day or someone sneaking up and spraying him with the hose when he had his back turned. He would never hear that snort she made when she laughed too hard or see her tug on that one section of her hair when she was frustrated. The one person that really and truly got him-the person he was the most comfortable with-was going to walk out of his life forever. And for what? Kikyo? Maybe he was a horrible person, but he hadn't even missed Kikyo this time. If the situation was reversed, he knew he could go the rest of his life and have no regrets about not seeing Kikyo again. This last breakup had been bland and amicable, with no real feelings on either part. But Kagome...Inuyasha's dual nature rarely agreed perfectly about anything, but for once, both sides roared their answer in perfect unison.
Sango and Miroku watched him uneasily. Inuyasha had gone silent, a faraway look in his eyes. If they had to choose a meme to represent his current state, it would have to be the one with the confused woman with math equations floating around her face.
"I think we broke him," Miroku whispered, unsure what they should do next.
Both of them jumped when Inuyasha snapped his head up and focused on them.
"No. No fucking way," he said, his voice carrying the firmness and certainty of someone who has just made an important decision.
"What do you mean, no?" Sango snarled, taking a step forward. If he was going to make this difficult, then so help her...
"I'm not losing Kagome. What about that is so hard to understand? I spent two years without her in my life-do you really think I'd go back to that?"
Miroku slid a few paces away from Sango, who looked like she was contemplating acts of extreme violence. "Inuyasha, perhaps you should think about what is best for Kagome? I realize you will miss her, but if the only other choice is hurting her..."
It struck Inuyasha that they had no clue what his intentions were. After all, he had never confided the fact that he had always fought an attraction to her, as well as the feelings that had been growing these past few months.
"I ain't gonna hurt her. I'm gonna date her," he pronounced with a scowl that didn't really match the sentiment of his statement.
"Come again?" Miroku blinked while Sango made indecipherable squawking sounds.
Inuyasha mentally counted to ten. Why was this so difficult for them to grasp? "I," he said slowly as if talking to a very thick three-year-old, "Am. Going to. Date. Ka-Go-Me."
"You can't! What about Kikyo, remember?" Sango finally found her words.
"You know how long ago we broke up. Look, I lived without both of them in my life, so I can say which one I don't wanna live without. Kikyo was never gonna be end game. I think I always knew that," he said quietly, knowing that they had believed that from the beginning, and that was even without knowing the full reason why he and Kikyo had dated in the first place.
Sango advanced on him rapidly, causing him to stumble back when she reached out to grab his shoulders. "Are you serious? You want to have an actual relationship with Kagome? Romantically?"
"Isn't that what I just said?" Inuyasha asked nervously, very conscious of the fact that her hands were disturbingly close to his neck.
"This is fantastic! Are you telling her tonight? Will you do it at the house or take her out first? Oh, if you're taking her out I need to make sure she hasn't curled up into a sobbing ball of sadness, and-"
"What? Sango, I'm not telling her!"
Sango's expression went from future maid of honor to rabid guard dog in .05 seconds. "Run that by me again?"
"You know how she'll take it! She'll think things didn't work out with Kikyo, so I'm settling for her or some shit like that."
Sango temporarily deactivated Kill Mode. "Okay, that is a fair point. What are you planning, then?"
Carefully slithering out of her grasp, Inuyasha ran his hands through his hair as he tried to organize his thoughts. "Kagome's kinda missed out on the whole dating experience. Don't you think she deserves the same level of effort she saw me putting into things with Kikyo? I want it to feel...special. Not rushed. She needs to know she's wanted, and not just some kinda glorified wingman," he added the last part bitterly.
He wanted to take the time to lead into a relationship with Kagome—he was pretty sure where things were going on his side, but he didn't want to take things for granted just because she'd had feelings for him for so long. Jumping straight into a relationship without any buildup felt like it would cheat them both out of something important.
There was a flash from Miroku's phone as he snapped a picture.
"What the hell was that for?" Inuyasha growled.
Miroku sniffed away happy tears. "I just wanted a photo to commemorate the day you became a man," he explained, thrilled that Inuyasha had finally pulled his head from his ass.
"He's your problem, not mine," Inuyasha said with a sympathetic glance at Sango.
"Don't I know it. Anyway, I'm guessing this means I should play dumb with Kagome about this?"
"Yeah, but I'm also gonna need you two to help. If I just start taking her places that are obviously meant for dates, she'll get suspicious. I think it might be better to start things off in a group, and I can work my way up from there."
"You do realize you can't act exactly the same if you want this to work, right?" Miroku asked as he leaned against the back of the couch.
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "I'm oblivious, not a complete idiot. If I wasn't gonna do anything different, what would be the point?"
"I know it's cliche, but we haven't been to an amusement park in a while. It's casual, but there are also opportunities to subtly show that your interest is more than platonic," Sango suggested. "And we've done that sort of thing before, so it won't be a huge change."
Inuyasha thought about it for a minute before nodding. "Yeah, let's start with somethin' like that. Get back with me on a good time, and I'll ask her if she wants to go," he said, his mind already coming up with a general game plan.
With a blast of music, Sango's phone went off, and she scrambled to answer it. "Kagome? What's up?" She said as soon as she could get her finger to slide across the screen correctly.
"Sango? I know you said not to do anything stupid," Kagome's voice came out shakily, clearly heard by everyone since Sango had accidentally put it on speaker.
"I did, so whatever you're doing, stop!" Sango said uneasily, her eyes darting to Inuyasha.
"I'm not doing anything right now," Kagome sniffed. "I just wanted to make sure Kiara gets along with regular cats, right?"
"Yeeeeeees, why?"
"I-I was hoping that tomorrow you could go with me to the shelter. I've decided to go ahead and adopt a pregnant cat-I might as well get the Crazy Cat Lady Starter Pack," Kagome said pathetically.
Inuyasha was struggling not to laugh. He hated that she was upset, but she was adorable when she got all overly dramatic. Still, he would have to say something to her tonight rather than wait until morning. He wasn't going to let her feel this badly any longer than necessary.
"I understand what you're saying, but why don't you sleep on it tonight, okay?" Sango said gently, sparing a glare at the men.
"I guess so. I'll talk to you tomorrow. There's still some packing I need to do."
Sango said her goodbyes and ended the call. "While I still agree with your general plan, you're going to have to say something to her to calm her down," she said, knowing if he didn't that Kagome would bolt as soon as she could.
"I know. I just have one stop I need to make first," Inuyasha sighed dispiritedly.
"What stop would that be?" Miroku asked although he had a feeling he already knew.
Inuyasha's ears twitched back in a wince. "First, I have to go tell Kikyo."