"Life as a Dyad"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 5

"A-are you scared?" D-O asked as Ben ate his cereal at the kitchen table, wearing a simple green t-shirt and black sweatpants.

Ben looked down at the little droid, trying unsuccessfully to force a smile and then letting out a sigh instead. "A little."

"I-I am too. I d-don't want you to get hurt."

"Yeah, well I don't want you to get hurt. Or Rey, or Gavin, or anyone else. I've hurt too many people already." He gazed over at the fridge and the cupboard doors, where several of Gavin's childhood drawings hung, including one of him going to the zoo with both his parents, all three of them with big smiles on their faces.

A world that never was . . .

All those times the Force linked him and Rey, all those times Rey brought their son into the link so they could all be together for a little while, all those times Rey and Gavin visited him in prison, none of it had been like a normal family life. He felt his eyes welling up as he finished his cereal, remembering how Han was always there when he was a child, remembering the outings, the bedtime stories, the games, the lazy afternoons watching the holovid together, the rides on the Falcon.

Ben's father was always present, but then Ben grew up to be Kylo Ren.

Gavin had an absent father even though he did nothing wrong.

A sudden knock on the door jolted him out of his thoughts. D-O let out a tiny mechanical squeak, rolling back and forth. "Intruder?" he asked. "I-intruder?"

Ben reached out with the Force - and suddenly a grin broke out on his face. "No, not the intruder," he said. "Friends."

. . .

The apartment door slid open to reveal four very familiar beings. Almost before the door was completely open, Chewie came bounding in and threw his arms around Ben in a tight Wookiee hug, welcoming him home.

"Thanks, Uncle Chewie," said Ben.

"Benny!" Lando exclaimed from behind Chewie. Though his hair had gone completely gray and he now had to use a walking stick, he still had the same energy from when he was young - and he still loved wearing his capes.

"Hey," said Ben as Chewie ruffled his hair the same way he often did when Ben was a child. "How's the family?"

"Family's fine," said Lando, leaning on his walking stick. "Course, my two teenage granddaughters are keeping their moms busy, but they're still sweethearts."

"And I'll bet you're spoiling them," said Ben. Ever since Lando had found out that Jannah was his lost daughter Ava, he'd been determined to make up for lost time by being a doting father and then a doting grandfather.

"Of course," said Lando, giving that cheeky grin that resembled Han's. "If their moms say no, then they go to Grandpa Lando for backup."

"Little Master Ben!" 3PO exclaimed as he hobbled in, followed by R2 giving a happy beep. "It is so good to see you out and about!"

"Thanks," said Ben in a slightly hesitant voice, "but . . . I think there's something you all should know about."

. . .

"Oh dear," 3PO said once Ben finished telling them about last night's incident. "Perhaps you should inform the police about this."

"We did," said Ben, leaning forward and kneading his fingers into his forehead, "but they just said to call them again if something else happens."

Lando patted Ben on the back. "Well, maybe Rey shouldn't have torn up the note. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Rey, but sometimes . . ."

"Sometimes she makes decisions without thinking first," Ben finished, looking up at the older man. "I know. Saving my life was one of them. My beautiful impulsive wife."

Lando leaned back, resting his head against the back of the couch. "Your dad lived for a while with a price on his head. Not sayin' that's the same thing, but he knew what it was like to live in fear."

"Perhaps Little Master Ben should issue a public apology to the galaxy," 3PO suggested. "If the people see that he is truly sorry for what he did, perhaps they will be more open to forgiveness."

"Maybe," said Ben, "but people aren't always so quick to forgive. I don't know if I'm ready to address the whole galaxy anyway."

Chewie ruffled Ben's hair again. [You don't have to address the whole galaxy right now. Get used to the outside world first.]

"Y-yes," said D-O. "I-I had to get used to the outside world after Rey r-rescued me."

"I know," said Ben, gazing out the window at the speeders in their endless traffic, trying to imagine driving a speeder but finding that thoughts of the wind blowing into his face and the engines pounding into his ears interfered with the fantasy. Just riding home with Rey had been difficult enough - he'd closed his eyes for a good portion of the journey.

Then there came that twitch in his senses. He turned away from the window and there she was, bent over an unseen speeder, wearing a pair of faded coveralls, her hair in a red bandana. It was only a moment before she paused whatever she was doing, looked up at her husband, and smiled.

"Hey," she said, "are you doing all right?"

"For now," said Ben, ignoring the strange looks from Lando and Chewie. "Did you tell Chewie and Lando to come visit?"

Now Rey's smile was growing cheeky. "No, but they've been counting the days until your release, so I'm not surprised they showed up. Tell them I said hi."

Meanwhile Lando was staring at what was undoubtedly an empty area to his eyes. "Uh, I'm guessin' you and Rey just got connected or whatever it is the Force does with you two?"

"Yes," said Ben, momentarily wishing that the Force had waited until the guests left and saved the awkwardness, but the Force had never cared about making things awkward before, so why would it start now? "She says hi, by the way."

[Tell her hi back,] growled Chewie.

"Uh, Chewie says hi back," Ben said before clearing his throat. "Anyway, is Gavin coming back here after work or going back to his apartment?" His apartment. Uttering those words pounded it into Ben's head that he had never been able to live with his son.

"I think he's going to his apartment," said Rey.

"Does the offer to visit him and meet his roommates still stand?" Damn, why did he ask that? After last night, wasn't it asking for trouble to go visit anyone? If he were smart, he'd probably lock himself in the apartment for several months until the public got over Kylo Ren being out of prison.

He wasn't smart.

"Uh, I guess," said Rey, "but he told me this morning that you shouldn't worry about that. You should take your time."

Time. He'd already lost so much time - two decades of his life were forever lost to prison and another seven years of his life had been lost to the dark side. How much more time could he afford to lose?

"Well," he said carefully, "if the offer does still stand and if you come with me, I think I would like to visit him."