Reversal of Fortune: Chapter 19: Eldest Sibling Privileges

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 6; 7:00 AM
PINGREY MANOR
ROYAL WOODS, MICHIGAN

As the rest of the Pingrey family grabbed their breakfast from the fridge and kitchen counter, one person inwardly stewed over his circumstances. Thanks to a combination of his mother, "Pineapple Boy", and the grocery store manager, Connor Pingrey found himself pouring Regular Bran cereal into his bowl instead of the Zombie Bran he had his eye on a couple of months ago.

Flashback: A Couple of Months Earlier

Connor remembered it well: after getting himself thrown out of the Super Mart, his mother scolded him in the car, "Young man, you're grounded! And don't even think about getting Zombie Bran, or asking me for it ever again!"

Connor whined, "But Mom, I…"

Leslie quickly interrupted Connor, "Up-up-up… no buts. Now, when you get home, I want you to go to your room and think about what you did!"

Connor slumped into his car seat while Cassandra glared at him.

Flashback ends

(Scene Change: Kitchen, Pingrey Manor, Present Day)

Connor seethed to himself quietly as he remembered that mess and the grounding that followed, "Stupid Pineapple Boy. I swear, if it weren't for my mom, I'd sneak back into that store, buy a box, put laxatives in it, and feed it to him." As Connor contemplated the possibility of Lincoln embarrassing himself by pooping his pants in front of the entire school, he smirked evilly as he said, "Oh, he'd get his Zombie Bran alright."

Unfortunately for Connor, Carol was not too far away from him, and heard everything Connor had said about Lincoln. When she did, she wasn't too pleased that Connor still had neither let go of the Zombe Bran fiasco, nor accepted responsibility for it. Deciding to probe, Carol turned back to Connor and asked him, "What did you say?"

When Carol asked that question, Connor nervously looked around for any sign of his remaining family members. Fortunately, he couldn't see any of them, as they seemed distracted eating their breakfast. When Connor finished his spot check, he motioned for Carol to come closer to him before asking Carol in a whisper, "Promise you won't tattle on me?"

Carol nodded while sticking her pinky out, "You have my word."

Connor then took a deep breath before telling Carol, "OK. I'm still mad at Pine…"

When Connor started calling Lincoln "Pineapple Boy", he noticed a glare start to emerge on Carol's face. So he quickly corrected himself, "…I mean, Lincoln for taking that Zombie Bran cereal. And I said…"

Carol saw the nervousness on Connor's face and interrupted him to encourage, "Go on. Like I said, I won't tell on you as long as you don't do it."

Connor looked down and sighed, "Fine. Like I was saying, if it weren't for the fact that I got grounded, I'd sneak back into that store, buy a box of it, stuff it with Mom's laxatives, and feed it to him."

As Connor explained how he would get revenge on Lincoln if he had the chance, an evil, contemplative grin grew on Carol's face. Connor observed the change in Carol's mood and blankly asked her, "What?"

Carol sheepishly tried to brush it off, "Oh, nothing."

However, Connor quickly caught onto both Carol's facial expressions and body language, and understood what Carol wanted to do. When he did, he teased his eldest sister, "So 'perfect' Carol Pingrey has a dark side, huh? You gonna use that on Lori? Finally shut up about her?"

Knowing her younger brother had caught her red-handed, Carol blushed, "Just... just shut up!"

Connor continued, "Yeah, about those brain chips: I think those doctors got it wrong. I'll get you guys checked again. There's GOTTA be something in there."

Carol quickly ruffled Connor's hair, mockingly glared at him, and told him sternly, "Just meet us at the dining table and go eat your breakfast. Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to."

Connor groaned in response, "Alright, alright, chill, Carol. But I'm not making any promises," before walking off to join the rest of his family at the dining table.

Meanwhile, Carol stared down at the kitchen counter for a split-second in deep thought. While she didn't want to admit it, Connor was right about Carol wanting to prank Lori. However, as Carol mused about what it would feel like to finally get the best of Lori once and for all, Carl called out to her, "Care-Bear, you coming, sweetie?"

Carol quickly shook her head before responding, "Umm… yeah, I'm coming!" With that, Carol took her breakfast and began to eat it.

After the family dispersed from the breakfast table and started getting ready for school and/or work, Carol started off back towards the dining room. She scanned the area for family members, and when she found out the coast was clear, marched towards the medicine cabinet. When Carol opened the medicine cabinet, she found exactly what she was looking for: the "Colon Storm" laxatives left over from her mom's battle with constipation the previous summer. As Carol opened the bottle of laxatives pills, she thought to herself, how can I feed this to Lori? Within seconds, an idea came to her. She went into another cupboard in the kitchen where she knew the blender was, hoping to find it. As Carol pulled the blender out from the cupboard, she thought to herself, paydirt.

She then took 10 pills from the "Colon Storm" bottle, threw them into the blender, and blended them until they were a liquid. When Carol was satisfied with the results, she poured the liquid into a small cup and shoved it as far into the kitchen counter as she could to not risk spilling it.

Next, Carol asked herself, what kind of food can I give Lori? As she contemplated this, Carol ran to the fridge, looking for any ingredients she could use. When she found some leftover roast beef cold cuts, lettuce, and pickles, she realized that she could stuff it into Lori's sandwich. However, not wanting to be an inconvenience to her parents, she simply texted them: "Packing lunch 2day. Packin a sandwich. Takin some cold cuts, lettuce, & pickles".

Leslie quickly replied, "U sure u don't want help, honey? U don't wanna be late".

Carol replied instantly, "Nah im good. Luv u".

With Carol's parents off her trail, Carol quickly set out to make Lori's sandwich. Just before putting the second piece of bread on top of the sandwich that would close it, Carol grabbed the cup of laxatives and poured it carefully on top of the lettuce as a sort of "special sauce". When Carol was satisfied with her handiwork, she closed the sandwich, wrapped it in a paper towel and aluminum foil, and stuffed it in a paper bag that also contained a water bottle. In turn, she stuffed said bag in her purse.

As she did, Carol thought to herself, Alright, Lori. Let's do this.

(Time Skip: Lunch, Royal Woods High School Cafeteria)

Lori grabbed her taco salad with Italian dressing and a whole fresh apple and shuffled sadly through the Royal Woods High School cafeteria. As she did, many students pitifully gazed at her, with some even murmuring amongst themselves, "Is she OK?" As Lori passed a table with Bobby's friends, Tad, Roger, Chaz, Errol, Joey, and Timmy, she distraughtly glanced at them. The reaction from them was mixed. The looks the boys gave Lori mixed anger and sympathy, as if to tell her, what you did to our friend was wrong, but I'm still sorry for the loss of your pets. However, not one of them gave her a look that invited her to their table in any way. Sensing this, Lori sighed before shuffling along, hoping to meet her usual Gal Pals at their lunch table. It was then when in the direction of the lunch table, she heard a chorus of laughs and giggles. As Lori heard the giggles, a smile formed on her face as she thought to herself, Perfect. Just what I need to take my mind off things.

However, when Lori arrived at her usual lunch table, she was stunned and horrified at what she saw. Carol was sitting alongside Dana, Penny, Teri, Veronica, Whitney, and Zoe. They were laughing at something, but Lori couldn't make out what they were laughing about. And for whatever reason, Becky and Melissa were missing from their table, which suddenly intrigued Lori. First, Becky had missed school the previous day due to an undisclosed "illness". While Lori was a little saddened at the thought of her best friend being sick and hoped she got better, she ultimately shrugged it off. So, Becky being sick for a second straight day didn't surprise Lori. Now, with Melissa apparently being sick, Lori understood why the rest of her friends invited Carol and Dana to their table: to make up the numbers that had been lost.

When the girls noticed Lori, the conversation immediately stopped as Dana smiled and called out, "Lori! Over here!"

Deciding to give the girls the benefit of the doubt, she sighed as she approached the table apprehensively. When Lori finally took her seat, the rest of the girls looked at her expectantly. Not wanting to extend the awkward silence that filled the table, Lori asked the girls, "So… what's up?"

Whitney explained, "Carol has something she wants to say to you."

Lori's eyebrows furrowed into a glare, as she asked, "Is she literally here to make fun of the fact that my pets died?" She then turned to Carol and seethed, "I saw that photo on Instapic of your dog… you can't fool me! You did that on purpose!"

Carol raised her hands defensively and sputtered out, "W-what? Lori, no! It was nothing like that!"

Lori slammed her hands on the table and stood over Carol, yelling, "YES IT WAS! You've literally been better than me at everything since kindergarten! And you've always bragged about it!"

Carol tried to start, "Lori…", but Lori wasn't hearing any of it.

Lori quickly interrupted Carol, listing, "Grades, golf, Bluebell Scouts cookies, homecoming queen…" before trailing off into the last part of the sentence with tears in her eyes, "attracting g-g-guys… you literally keep pets around longer than ME-EEEEE!"

When Lori mentioned the part about Carol being able to keep a pet alive longer than her, she broke down crying. The rest of her friends looked on in concern as Penny, Teri, Veronica, and Zoe rushed over to comfort Lori.

Meanwhile, an observant Whitney whispered to Dana, "I told you this wasn't a good idea."

Dana quickly shushed Whitney, trying to reassure her, "Relax. Carol knows what she's doing." As Dana reassured Whitney, she made sure to keep her voice down so that Lori wouldn't hear her and catch onto their plan. This was enough to make Whitney calm down and relax into her seat.

Meanwhile, Carol was briefly moved by watching Lori in her state of grief. She knew that the Loud pets were murdered, but she didn't think that it would have affected Lori this badly. Carol also found herself shocked by Lori saying that she believed Carol to be better than her, as it reminded her of her own insecurities about Lori. Or at least, the insecurities she had about Lori before learning about how Lori, the rest of her sisters, and her parents treated Lincoln. But as Carol imagined Lincoln sweating in his squirrel suit surrounded by his oblivious family, she remembered something the Sweetwaters told her in a groupchat the previous night: Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

Carol took a deep breath before walking over to Lori, putting a hand on her shoulder. She wanted to get Lori's attention, but she also understood that Lori wasn't in the emotional state to listen to anybody at the moment. Carol also remembered that her Student Leadership class had taught her to let someone let all their tears out when they were bereaved, as this would help them with the grieving process. So Carol decided to pull Lori in for a hug and soothingly rub her back as Lori cried into her arms.

When Carol noticed Lori start to calm down, she gave Lori a brief, tight hug before pulling Lori's head out of her torso and gently whispering to her, "Lori."

Lori sniffled in response before straightening herself to look Carol in the eyes, not wanting to appear weak in front of her rival. Despite this attempt at posturing, Lori's eyes were still watery, and she was fooling no one, not even herself.

Carol, observing all of this, called out to her one more time, gently but a little more firmly, "Lori."

Carol's tone of voice caused Lori to relax a little bit, assuring Carol that Lori was now receptive to what she would have to say next. When Carol sensed this, she took a deep breath before sympathizing, "First of all… I'm so, so, so sorry for your loss."

In response, Lori sniffled a little bitterly, "I don't need your sympathy, Carol."

Carol found herself exasperated by Lori's attitude, but understanding that Lori's emotions were still high, explained to her, "I lost a pet, too."

Lori's eyes widened as she gasped in shock at Carol's revelation. She stammered out a stunned, "W-w-what?"

Carol looked down while remembering, "Yeah… her name was Ruby. There were so many dogs out there named 'Max', and Max & Ruby was hot at the time… so my 3-year-old self thought it'd be funny to name my dog after Ruby. Plus, she had the cutest little nose. I used to tell that girl everything: my hopes, dreams, fears. She kept me company when my parents wouldn't because they were too busy with work. I had to bury her last year. I still miss her. That's why I adopted that corgi. Tried to fill the void Ruby left behind."

Lori sniffled in understanding before pulling Carol into a hug and soothing her. Though Carol felt a little unnerved at Lori's gesture, she decided to accept and relax into it for the sake of what she was trying to do. The two soothed each other in shared grief for a few moments before pulling away, as Carol looked deep into Lori's eyes to signal to her that she was going to continue the conversation. When she did, Carol said something that stunned Lori beyond belief.

"Secondly… you think I'm better than you?" She then paused and slightly sheepishly said, "I kinda thought it was the other way around."

Lori's jaw dropped in confusion at Carol's confession. She thought Lori was better than her? Perfect Carol Pingrey? Oh… this, she literally had to know.

Carol insisted, "I mean, you made the varsity golf team when we were freshmen. No one else did that. And, you have nine siblings who all look up to you."

Lori quickly reminded Carol, "Ten."

Carol asked, acting shocked, "Ten? Did you guys have another baby?"

Lori smiled a little bit, explaining, "Yeah, her name's Lily. She's almost 2 years old now."

Carol replied contemplatively, "Almost 2? Wow… dang, I should've done a better job keeping in touch with you."

Lori smirked knowingly, "You literally should have."

Carol inwardly smirked knowing that Lori had accepted her explanation that she had miscounted how many siblings Lori had. She felt like inwardly celebrating the fact that she had pulled one over on Lori in that regard before continuing with a chuckle, "Anyway, you've got all that going on. And don't get me started on your hair. I will never have volume like that." As Carol laughed once more, she continued while picking up her hair, "This takes like, six cans of dry shampoo, and it's still flat."

This revelation caused not only Lori's jaw to drop, but also, those of the rest of the girls sitting at the Gal Pals' table. From the stories they had heard from Lori, they had always thought Carol maintained her hair effortlessly and naturally. Learning they were wrong made them feel like apologizing to Carol for misjudging her for so many years.

Lori spoke for both herself and the group, amazed, "Wow, so, all of our competing has literally been pointless?"

Carol confessed, "It's true. Those selfies were getting out of control. That corgi? He's mean! Nothing like Ruby!"

Lori then confirmed, "Leni and I had sex with Marcus Quick! Three times!", as the two girls laughed at that.

When they were done laughing, Carol relievedly said, "We're ridiculous! I'm so glad we're done with all this."

Lori admitted, "Me too," before suggesting, "Hey, I just had a crazy idea. What if we made it official by taking a selfie together?"

Carol gasped, "Shut up! Looking like this?!"

Lori then stood up from her seat and pulled Carol up as well while taking out her phone. As she did, she encouraged, "Yeah! I mean, who cares, right?"

At that, Carol also took her phone out, and the two took the selfie together. With the whole cafeteria watching them, they both looked at their phones uncertainly, then glanced at each other questioningly, and finally, smiled knowing they were both thinking the same thing. With this in mind, Lori and Carol simultaneously said, "Post," to much cheers & applause from everyone in the cafeteria.

The rest of Lori and Carol's table beamed proudly at the duo for apparently putting their long-running feud to rest. In doing so, they had gained yet another friend for the group table. Or in Whitney and Dana's case, another powerful back-up ally that they could turn to for spying on Lori when either of them were not available.

But in the moment, Lori and Carol weren't worried about any of that. They embraced each other for a full minute before returning to their seats and smiling at each other, years of jealous rivalry finally being put to rest and turned into friendship.

With the good vibes flowing, Lori even said to Carol, "And hey… at least you're literally not as bad as that kid who shat himself trying to sing that Jamaican song! I mean, who does that?" This caused the entire table to erupt in knowing laughter.

Once Lori's table stopped laughing, her mention of Rusty's mishaps made Carol remember what she had initially set out to do. So, when she calmed down, she offered to Lori, "Hey… wanna trade lunches like we did at Bluebells?"

Lori smiled at Carol's offer and accepted it by saying, "Let's do it, new best friend!"

The two giggled some more before Carol pulled her sandwich out of her purse and gave it to Lori, who gave Carol her lunch in turn. They traded a glance, inwardly confirming what they wanted to do, before smiling and laughing and taking a bite into each other's food at the same time. Within minutes, both Lori and Carol had finished each other's lunches.

When they finished eating, Lori complimented Carol, "Wow… this is literally the best sandwich I've ever had!"

Carol replied, "Glad you enjoyed it! And hey… your lunch wasn't half-bad either!"

Lori smirked haughtily in response, "I literally know", causing the two girls to laugh once more. Carol inhaled as if she were getting ready to start talking again before hearing a beep from her phone's alarm that caused her to yelp in surprise. When Carol looked at her phone, she saw the reminder telling her that it was time to start getting to her next class. When she saw this, she gasped, "Oh no! Looks like I've got to cut this off. I've got to start getting to class."

She then turned to Lori and playfully teased, "I suggest you start doing the same unless you want a tardy."

When Lori remembered that, she fretted, "Oh no! I've got a test today! I don't want to be late!"

Carol laughed off Lori's concern before assuring her, "Relax. How about I walk you to class? What class are you taking?"

Lori said sheepishly, "Nutrition, Fitness, and Weight Management."

Carol barely suppressed the urge to snicker at that revelation before smiling at Lori, "Great! I'll walk you there!"

As the two started to walk to Lori's class together, Lori then took the opportunity to tease back, "So Miss Perfect Carol Pingrey doesn't mind getting a late slip for me?"

Carol playfully shoved Lori in response while giggling, "Shut up!", as the two laughed and made further conversation about their lives on the way to Lori's class.

When they finally reached Lori's class, Carol asked, "Is this it?"

Lori confirmed, "Yup… that's the one. And literally, thanks."

Carol smiled at Lori before wishing her, "Good luck. Hope you do well."

Lori shot back, "Get yourself to class, Carol! Don't you have a perfect attendance record to keep up?"

Carol laughed, "OK, OK! Jeez, Lori. Well, see you after school! Bye, Lori!", before waving Lori goodbye as she ran to try to get to her next class on time.

Lori smiled and waved Carol goodbye before taking her seat and getting ready to take her test. As Lori took her seat, she noticed the following text on the chalkboard:

TODAY'S UNIT TEST
RULES:
1) NO TALKING
2) NO BATHROOM BREAKS

Lori thought to herself smugly, I can literally handle that.

A few seconds after Lori read the rules of the test, the teacher greeted her class, "Good afternoon, class!"

The class greeted back blankly, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Milton."

Mrs. Milton continued, "Now, as you know, we're having our unit test today," causing many of the students to groan.

Mrs. Milton disregarded her students' groaning and pointed to the blackboard, "As you've hopefully read, here are the rules: no talking, and no bathroom breaks. I'll give you 1 minute to pull out anything that you need to take the test."

As soon as Mrs. Milton said those words, frantic shuffling of papers and pencil cases could be heard throughout the classroom as the students desperately searched for supplies to take the test with. Fortunately, by the time the minute was up, all of the students had their test-taking supplies on their desk, ready to be used.

When the assigned minute was up, Mrs. Milton smiled at her class and instructed, "You may begin."

The sounds of pencils shuffling across paper could be heard as many of the students, including Lori, immediately started filling in their bubble sheets to answer their test questions. Lori, for her part, felt confident about this test, as she had really gotten into the course's content lately. So, she inwardly smiled before filling in her bubble sheet in a relaxed manner, thinking to herself, I've literally got this in the bag.

Unfortunately for Lori, after filling in the first five questions, she felt the first signs of griping and rumbling in her stomach. Lori grew worried that she would have to reassure the class that any future noises that came out of her came from her shoe, but she wanted to do well on this test even more than that. After all, one of the rules listed on the board was, NO TALKING.

So, Lori decided to shrug off the initial griping and continued to fill out the questions on her bubble sheet. By the time Lori had gotten to Question #10, her stomach started rumbling again, a little more loudly than a couple of minutes earlier. This rumbling got the class' attention, and even the attention of Mrs. Milton, who asked Lori, "Is there a problem, Ms. Loud?"

Lori nervously played it off, "No, no, I'm fine."

At that, Mrs. Milton took her eyes off Lori and Lori continued to fill out bubbles on her test. As Lori filled out "B" as the answer to Question 13, the first blow fell: Lori ripped a loud, large, and wet-sounding fart in front of the entire class, causing the entire class to stop what they were doing and turn to her.

Lori, seeing the eyes of every one of her classmates on her, instinctively yelled, "IT WAS MY SHOE!", causing Mrs. Milton to cross her arms and glare at Lori. She glanced at the chalkboard, then back to Lori, causing the teenager to shrink back into her seat. As Mrs. Milton stared down Lori, she refused to say or do anything, letting her stern look do the talking for her. After about 30 seconds of that, Lori sheepishly grinned at Mrs. Milton before continuing her test.

As Lori began to fill out the bubble for Question 14, Lori's stomach rumbled again before another loud, wet-sounding fart came from her. As the smell spread around the class, many of Lori's classmates winced in disgust, but Lori paid no mind to it. A couple more of those farts came out of her in rapid succession as Lori tried to focus on putting the right answers in the bubbles for Questions 15 and 16. By this time, some of Lori's classmates were barely managing to stifle their snickers as Lori undoubtedly became the class' center of attention. When Lori heard the soft snickers, she looked around and blushed in embarrassment. By this time, the back of Lori's pants were starting to feel wet. She looked around the class, desperate for a way out, only to see Mrs. Milton staring down the entire class from the front of the room with crossed arms. She again glanced at the rules on the blackboard and thought to herself, Oh no. I can't take a bathroom break. This is going to get ugly.

As Lori let out another fart, she began to grow desperate for a way out. Realizing that she wouldn't have one, she thought to herself, if I can finish this test as quickly as possible, maybe I can spare myself more embarrassment. Lori went onto spend the next few minutes rapidly putting in the first answer that came to mind for each question that she saw as she inadvertently let out more wet farts. Due to being in a rush, Lori had filled out many of the bubbles improperly. Some of the bubbles she wanted to fill had not been completely filled, while others had some filling outside of their boundaries. Lori knew that she would likely be sacrificing some percentage points off her test, but at this point, all she cared about was the test finally ending.

When Lori finally got to the end of the test, she got up, the back of her pants practically soaked and a deep-brown stain visible on the bottom of the back of her pants. A couple of students, including a fat Caucasian blonde girl named Natasha Stevenson, were startled by the commotion and looked up from their test papers to see the damage. When Natasha saw the state of Lori's pants, she giggled, attempted to pull out her phone while not letting Mrs. Milton see her, and snapped a picture. Natasha's giggling caused some of the other students to stop what they were doing to look at what Natasha was giggling at. It was Lori running to the teacher to hand over the test. And from what they saw, it looked as if Lori did more than fart in her pants throughout that test.

When Lori got to Mrs. Milton's desk, she handed over her test paper and bubble sheet and hurriedly panted, "Here, I'm done." From taking a quick glance at Lori, Mrs. Milton could tell that she was in great distress, and couldn't wait for the test to be over. It was then when Mrs. Milton told Lori the words she had been dying to hear throughout the test: "Thank you, you are excused."

In response, a relieved Lori panted, "Thanks, Mrs. Milton! You're literally the best!"

As Mrs. Milton turned to see Lori leave her class, she thought to herself, Don't mention it, Lori. Don't mention it. The next moment, she heard the rest of her students break into uproarious laughter at Lori's situation. Mrs. Milton knew that the kids were breaking one of the unwritten rules of the test, which was to be silent, but also knew that they were technically not breaking the "No Talking" Rule.

Wanting to prevent one of her students from getting bullied, but also realizing she technically had no grounds to punish the students for laughing, she silenced them by glaring at them and yelling, "HEY! Be quiet!" That quickly made the rest of the kids freeze as they briefly glanced at a stern Mrs. Milton and got the message. With that in mind, they quickly returned to filling out their test answers on their bubble cards. However, a few of them couldn't suppress the smiles that had already formed on their faces.

Meanwhile, Lori rushed out of the class, desperate to find the first bathroom she could. While that was going on, Principal Rivers and Coach Hutch were talking to Coach Niblick several yards away.

Coach Hutch told Coach Niblick, "We have some very good golfers at our school that I'm sure would be a good fit on your team."

Coach Niblick chuckled before offering to Coach Hutch, "I'd be glad to check them out." As Coach Niblick began to ask Coach Hutch and Principal Rivers when golf practice was, Lori accidentally ran into the trio during her mad dash for the bathroom. In doing so, Lori knocked all three of them down and sent Principal Rivers' purse and papers flying. Luckily for Coach Niblick, his backpack of golf clubs broke his fall, so while he didn't fall directly to the ground, he still felt a sharp pain in his back getting up.

A dazed Lori quickly recovered, saw who she had ran into, and nervously yelled, "SORRY!", before getting up and taking off for the bathroom.

But as soon as Lori stood up, Principal Rivers called out, "Ms. Loud?!"

Lori immediately stopped, turned to the trio, and asked, startled, "P-Principal Rivers?! Coach Hutch?! And… who's that guy? What's going on?!"

Principal Rivers introduced the guy on the far left of the trio, "This is Coach Niblick from Fairway University."

Lori was absolutely surprised and honored that Coach Niblick had come to visit her school. She had her eye on going to Fairway University on a golf scholarship since middle school, and she didn't want to let an opportunity to impress Coach Niblick slip. However, before she could try to introduce herself to Coach Niblick, her stomach did the introduction for her as it rumbled once more.

Coach Niblick, for his part, calmly introduced herself as he extended his hand, "Good afternoon, Ms. Loud. Your coach and principal have told me so many good things about you. I look forward to watching you practice today. This could be the start of a bright future."

Lori was so flustered at what was happening to her that her stomach rumbled once more as she felt an absolutely monster burst of diarrhea rush into her rectum. When Lori felt this urge, she felt her stomach and told the trio of educators, "Sorry, guys, but I literally have to run to the bathroom!"

As Lori took off for the bathroom, her rapid farting made her realize she wouldn't make it to a stall in time. Growing ever more desperate, she looked for anywhere where she could safely let out her diarrhea. Fortunately for her, there was a trash can right next to them. As she stared it down, she said to herself, "Better than nothing, I suppose."

When Lori made it to the trash can, she apologized to the trio in front of her, "Sorry in advance!" Lori was so overwhelmed by the feelings of pain in her stomach that she didn't even notice the end-of-period bell ring as she pulled down her pants. As hundreds of her fellow students flooded the hallways to get to their last period classes, the first thing they saw was Lori Loud violently and explosively flood the trash can with poo as she grunted painfully, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH, MY GOD!"

The rest of Royal Woods High School's students and staff watched in horror and disgust as Lori Loud pooped in their trash can. As she did, Lori grunted, "OH! IT LITERALLY BURNS!"

Meanwhile, Principal Rivers winced in disgust and said to Coaches Hutch & Niblick, "That's vile!"

Lori released her next load of poop into the trash can while yelling, "OH MY GOD! I'M LITERALLY BLEEDING! LITERALLY!"

Coach Niblick also observed the whole situation in disgust and horror, and cringed as he plugged up his nose, "Dear God, that's wretched."

Meanwhile, the other students on the scene were frozen in place. They wanted to leave and look away, but they just couldn't. Many of them initially held their noses in disgust, while many more winced in disgust and horror. A few students even became queasy at the sight and ran to the bathroom to vomit. However, there were a few students who found Lori's plight incredibly funny and humiliating. Said students took pictures and videos of the whole thing on their phones, and recorded themselves laughing at the footage. One of these students was Whitney Wetta, but Lori was so overwhelmed by her urge to defecate that she didn't notice Whitney among those taking pictures of the incident. Eventually, as Lori recovered from her laxative-induced bowel movements, many more students joined the chorus of laughter that soon filled the whole hallway. While a lot of these students stood in the hallway, pointed, and laughed at Lori, many more were content to laugh and tell jokes about the incident to themselves or their friends as they walked to their next class. Lori was mortified at the laughter of her fellow students, and it caused her to run into the girls' bathroom and cry. Being the laughingstock of the school wasn't exactly the way Lori Loud had planned on spending Study Hall. She also didn't plan on spending it taking more poops, either. Fortunately for her, by the time the school day ended, Lori no longer felt the rumbling in her stomach that led her to basically expel everything she had ever eaten.

It got even worse when the end-of-day bell rang. Many guys catcalled at Lori as she walked through the hallways and called her "Little Poopy Babe", while some girls taunted her by singing the viral sensation, "Take a poo… to the loo. Take a poo… to the loo! Poo poo poo poo poo, everywhere! Poo poo poo poo poo, next to you! Let's take a poo poo poo poo poo, where is that doo?"

As Lori walked past the Theatre Club's part of the hallway, she heard faint whispers before Benny walked out of the room in a brown baseball cap, collared shirt, and cargo shorts. Lori felt that Benny was adorable in that getup, as she recognized it from the UPD commercials. However, any warm feelings Lori had towards Benny instantly disappeared when Benny mocked, "Hey… what can brown do for you?", while jeering and laughing at Lori. Lori rolled her eyes at Benny before continuing to walk through the hallway to get to golf practice. As she did, she hoped against hope that her sisters wouldn't meet her in the hallway. If they did, she'd never hear the end of it, and she knew it.

As Lori arrived in the girls' locker room, everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to turn to Lori. Many of the girls snickered and giggled amongst themselves. Carol even suppressed a snicker for a split-second before straightening her face and lecturing her teammates, "Come on girls, that's not cool."

When Lori heard Carol stand up for her, she was flabbergasted. In the span of one afternoon, Carol had gone from her archrival to someone who stood up for her immediately after the most embarrassing moment of her life. Carol walked up to the stunned Lori and asked her, "You gonna be OK?"

Lori shook herself to snap herself out of her stunned trance before trying to tell Carol, "Y-y-yeah. Yeah. I think so."

Carol then suggested while trying to keep her face as straight as possible, "You know what? Why don't you take the day off. I'll tell Coach Hutch to let you off practice due to your… erm… stomach problems, and we can come back tomorrow. Heck, I can probably get my dad to convince Coach Niblick to come back tomorrow. Does that sound good?"

Lori sighed in relief before smiling at Carol and telling her, "Yeah. It literally does."

Carol chuckled in response, "Alright. Now, get out of here, you little scamp!"

Lori and Carol then waved each other goodbye as Lori walked out of the locker room to check her text messages. When Carol judged that Lori was a safe distance away from the locker room, she and the rest of the girls resumed their loud laughter at Lori's situation. Carol even chimed in, "I totally set that up! Literally so worth it!", causing the rest of the girls' varsity golf team to break into even louder laughter.

Meanwhile, as Lori read her text messages, she saw a particularly peculiar one from Lynn Jr. asking her to pick up Margo and Paula and drive them to the high school. Lori groaned when she saw this text because at first, she didn't remember why Lynn Jr. would ask for this. However, she quickly remembered that her parents had decided to carpool to work with other coworkers that day to avoid the wrath of Lori and her sisters. Plus, she figured she needed something to do while Leni was getting tutored, Luna was in band practice, and Luan was in theatre club.

With all this in mind, Lori tried to go through the hallway as unnoticed as possible before slamming Vanzilla's door shut and setting off for Royal Woods Middle School. When she finally got there, she texted Lynn Jr., "Get your friends' butts in this car NOW!"

Back at Royal Woods Middle School, it was a matter of a mere couple of minutes before Margo and Paula jumped in Vanzilla. When that happened, Lori drove off, setting course for a return trip to Royal Woods High School.

As Lori pulled out of the Royal Woods Middle School Kiss-n-Ride, the two jocks snickered to themselves, causing Lori to glare at them from her rearview mirror. As the jocks kept snickering, Lori quietly yelled at them, "What's so funny?"

The two younger jocks snickered amongst themselves once more before Margo told Lori, "Oh, nothing," before giggling once more.

Lori immediately presumed that Margo and Paula were giggling about her "accident" in the trash can. She realized that she would likely get similar teasing from her sisters, so she decided to try to ignore the laughter and continue driving.

When Lori finally parked alongside Royal Woods High's football field, she sighed before telling Margo and Paula, "OK, here you go. Now, Lynn Jr. better have given you…"

As soon as Lori dropped Margo and Paula off, they jumped out of the car and ran off, showing absolutely no intention to pay Lori the gas money she felt she was owed. Margo called out to Lori, "THANKS, SUCKA!", while Paula turned back and yelled, "PEACE!", as the two ran to join the rest of the high school football team. At this, Lori sighed in exasperation before returning to her senior parking spot in the student parking lot. As she did, she observed Margo and Paula talking to Coach Lewis about something, but couldn't hear exactly what they were talking to Coach Lewis about. She shrugged it off, thinking that it couldn't have been the end of the world compared to what she went through.

A few minutes later, however, her mind was taken off all of that, as Leni, Luna, and Luan streamed out of the school and approached Vanzilla. They knocked on the doors with toothy grins on their faces.

As Lori observed the looks on her sisters' faces, she thought to herself, oh boy, here we go. She sighed before blankly telling her sisters, "Come on in."

At that, Leni took shotgun while Luna and Luan took their seats right behind the two eldest sisters. After they buckled their seatbelts and Lori took off, the rest of the sisters in the car continued to snicker amongst themselves, which Lori quickly noticed.

Lori glared at her sisters from the rearview mirror and threatened, "Whichever one of you did this… I will LITERALLY turn you into a human pretzel!"

At Lori's threat, Leni, Luna, and Luan put their hands up defensively to nonverbally signal to Lori, I didn't do it. Meanwhile, Leni spoke up for her younger sisters, "Please, like I'd mess with your breakfast like you messed with my driving test!"

Luna and Luan gasped at Leni's statement before Luna venomously asked Lori, "You what?!"

Lori laughed nervously at Luna's question before telling her younger sisters, "Oh, it literally wouldn't have mattered! You know Leni… she's so dumb she can't even drive a lawnmower!"

Leni glared at Lori's mention of that and countered, "That is totes not true! Linky taught me how to drive a lawnmower! And he would have made me pass that test had you not put those headphones over my ears telling me to do everything wrong at the driving test!"

Lori scoffed, "You had to have Lincoln tell you that the gas pedal was a go-go boot, and what did you call a turn signal again? A blinky-blink? Without me, you'd literally be lost."

In response, Leni deadpanned, "I'm the one with clean underwear, and you're the one with dirty underwear. So, who's the retard here, again?"

Luna and Luan gasped in shock at Leni's comeback, yelling, "OHHHHHHHHHHH!", causing Lori to again glare at her siblings through the rearview mirror. As Luna and Luan's screams of astonishment continued, Lori slammed on the brakes violently, causing the car to jerk forward.

To lighten the mood, Luan tried to joke, "Jeez Louise, Lori? Why did you have to stop? Your butt sure didn't! Hahahahaha! Get it!"

Instead of groaning at Luan's joke, Luna fist-bumped Luan while laughing, "Nice."

An angered Lori then spat, "One… more… word… and you girls are walking home! And that doesn't just go for you… that goes for all of our sisters!"

Not wanting to lose the luxury of Lori driving them around, the Loud sisters decided to stay quiet as Lori drove around town to pick up the rest of the Loud kids.

When Lori got to Royal Woods Middle School, Lynn Jr.'s arrival in Vanzilla was met with excited celebration as she yelled, "SCORE, BABY!"

Lori, happy to see Lynn Jr. so excited, asked her, "Hey, Lynn. What's got you so excited?"

Lynn Jr. proclaimed, "You won't believe it! The Royal Woods High School football coach is offering me a tryout!"

Lori gasped before asking, "Literally?"

Lynn Jr. nodded before confirming, "You bet! And you know I'm going to kill it out there!"

Lori gasped once more in shock before complimenting Lynn Jr., "Wow… that's incredible! Congratulations! Good luck out there!"

Lynn Jr. brushed off Lori's congratulations, "Thanks. I'm going to need all the luck I can get, anyways. Speaking of which, where's Spooky?"

Lori, immediately understanding who "Spooky" was, reassured Lynn Jr., "Oh, we're just gonna pick her and the rest up when we get there."

Lynn Jr. then said, "Awesome!" She then looked to the window in thought before turning to Lori, as if a great idea had just come to her head. She turned to her eldest sibling and joked, "Oh, and one more thing… you broke the #1 rule."

Lori asked, confused, "The #1 rule? What's that?"

Lynn Jr. explained, "No going #2 until we're #1!"

This caused the rest of Vanzilla's occupants except for Lori to break into hysterical laughter before Lynn Jr. calmed her siblings down by saying, "Come on guys. Since Lori went #3… I guess we should allow it," causing Luan, Luna, and Leni to laugh even louder.

In response, Lori growled at her siblings and gripped the steering wheel tighter, trying to ignore them as she drove off to Royal Woods Elementary School to pick up the youngest of her siblings, sans Lily, who would be picked up with their parents while they carpooled home.

When Vanzilla arrived at Royal Woods Elementary School about 15 minutes later, Lori honked on the horn before texting her family groupchat, "Im literally here. Come." Just a couple of minutes later, Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lily came out of the school walking together before taking their seats inside the back rows of Vanzilla. As Lori looked back one more time to make sure that all of her sisters had buckled their seatbelts, she sighed once more before silently setting off for the Loud House.

As she did, Luan snickered once more, causing Lori to menacingly glare at her through the rearview mirror. This caused Luan to mime a lip-zipping motion as she seemed to nonverbally promise that she wouldn't say anything for the rest of the car ride home. A few moments later, however, a mischievous smile grew on Luan's face as she came up with an idea to make the car ride a little more tense and a little more fun.

She turned to the back row of seats and called out, "Are ya ready kids?"

Lucy, Lola, Lana, and Lisa, understanding what Luan was doing, responded as they had many times before, by yelling, "Aye-aye, Luan!"

Luan yelled back, "I can't hear you!"

At that, the rest of Vanzilla, even Lori, called back, "Aye-aye, Luan!"

Luan then let out a long, "Oooooooooooooooooh!"

Lori allowed a small smile to form on her face, despite her tension and anxiety, at what Luan was doing. Since Luan's name rhymed with captain, the Loud kids would typically sub out Luan's name for the word, "captain", whenever they sung the SpongeBoy theme song. So, Lori wistfully sighed to herself as she recalled all the times the Louds had done that on previous Vanzilla ride. This rendition of the SpongeBoy theme song, however, would turn those wistful memories into nightmares as Luan launched into her first verse:

"Who lives in a tattered house, literally?"

As soon as Lori heard the word, "literally", she knew that Luan's current rendition of the SpongeBoy song was meant to mock her. An instant later, she'd find out how bad it would get as every single Loud kid except for her yelled back, "LORI BROWNPANTS!"

Luan sang back, "Insecure and selfish and bossy is she!"

As Lori gasped in anger, the rest of the Loud kids again called back, "LORI BROWNPANTS!"

Luan sang back, barely stifling her laughter, "If high school drama be something you wish," causing the rest of the kids to immediately call back, "LORI BROWNPANTS!"

Luan screamed back, practically cackling to herself inside, "Then drop your smartphone and scream like a bitch!"

The rest of the Loud sisters responded by issuing the loudest cry of "LORI BROWNPANTS!" they could muster, causing Lori to growl before slamming on the brakes right as Luan asked the rest of the van, "Ready?"

This stunned the rest of the Loud sisters and caused them to nearly jump out of their seats. A second later, Lori turned back to her siblings, glared at them, and just silently uttered one word: "Out."

Luan stammered in response, "B-b-but…"

Lori interrupted Luan by pointing to the window and saying, a little more loudly, "Out."

Luna tried to defend herself, "But we were just having…"

Lori interrupted Luna, this time yelling, "OUT! You girls are literally walking home today because of what you did!"

In response, Lynn Jr. challenged, "Oh, and what are you going to do, poop on us?", prompting the rest of the Loud girls to mockingly laugh at Lori.

Lori threatened while growling at her sisters, "I'M literally driving this car. Now, if you value your bodies, I recommend you get out of this car before I do something that hurts all of us. My car, my rules. And like I said, if you don't like it, you can literally walk home, bitches."

This caused the rest of the Loud sisters to descend into a cacophony of groans and complaints as they took themselves and their stuff out of Vanzilla as they climbed onto the sidewalk. Once every Loud sibling except Lori and Lily was out of Vanzilla, Lori drove off, causing them to cough as they inhaled Vanzilla's dust.

While they were initially angry at Lori for not being able to take a joke, being forced to walk home did nothing to dampen the Loud sisters' spirits. As a matter of fact, they launched into a reprise of their original song mocking Lori, and in doing so, actually managed to finish the full song:

Are ya ready kids?
Aye-aye, Luan!
I can't hear you!
Aye-aye, Luan!
Ooooooooooooooh!

Who lives in a tattered house, literally?
Lori BrownPants!
Insecure and selfish and bossy is she!
LORI BROWNPANTS!
If high school drama be something you wish
LORI BROWNPANTS!
Then drop your smartphone and scream like a bitch!
LORI BROWNPANTS!
Ready?

(Loud siblings altogether)
Lori BrownPants!
Lori BrownPants!
Lori BrownPants!

(Luan)
Lo-ri! Brown-Pants!
Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Luna whistled the song off as Luan and the rest of the Loud siblings broke into hysterical laughter at the new "Lori BrownPants" song they had just created. Despite themselves, they sang the song the rest of the way home, breaking into louder laughter every time they sang it.

Closing A/N: And, with that, Lori is now thoroughly humiliated! For those of you who want to see revenge on the Loud sisters for what they did to Lincoln, well, finally, this is the first blow! Hope you like it! By the way, shoutout to Saccharine Melody for the Van Wilder prank idea! I loved it! I wanted to make Lori either continuously fart or poop herself in class, just to emphasize her gas problem in front of everybody. I wanted to do this to show that she's not the prissy queen bee she wants to make herself out to be. Saccharine's been helping me out a lot with this fanfic, so again, big ups, my guy! I'm also really proud of myself for turning this new chapter around in only a day and a half!

A/N 2: Lori always said in the early seasons, "Eldest sibling first", or some variation of that to get her way. I wanted to twist that on its head… in the most cruel way possible. Hence, why this chapter has its name.

A/N 3: I felt like given the circumstances, from the start, I wanted to do a fake version of Carol and Lori's "Selfie Improvement" bonding speech. In "Selfie Improvement" in canon, Lori and Carol bond over putting their ridiculous selfie rivalry aside and acknowledge the insecurities they have about each other. In this fanfic, Carol uses that speech to lull Lori into a false sense of security, which she uses to execute her prank. Also, I hope you caught that Carol mentioned Lori had NINE siblings who looked up to her this time. Not ten, but NINE. Hmm… guess which one Carol ACTUALLY, PURPOSELY left out?

A/N 4: Natasha Stevenson is based on the character from the "Lori and Natasha: Together forever" fanfic. I liked their friendship in the fanfic, and thought I could reuse her here for my own ulterior motives. Shoutout to Seanrudin & Crafordbrian17, BTW.

A/N 5: I heard the "Take the poo to the loo" song after it popped up in my Recommended feed on YouTube one day. Look it up. It's hilarious. It's actually meant to address the sad problem of public defecation in India, but it's still really funny.

A/N 6: Ever since I first heard the slogan, "What can brown do for you?", I always associated it with pooping & toilet humor. Ah, me and my childish mind.

A/N 7: The Lori BrownPants song? With Luan leading the charge? It was one of those things that came to my mind as soon as I thought of Lori's humiliation, and I knew I HAD to do it. Initially, I was just going to have Lori accept the rest of her siblings mocking her with the "Lori BrownPants" song, but ultimately, we know Lori has too much pride to just take something like that lying down. So I went with the bait-and-switch, had Lori cut that song off, and then had the Loud sisters sing the whole song as a reprise as they walked home!

And now, for the best of the reviews:

- LincolnTheLoudest: Yup

- ClairCrystal: Didn't Lisa take one of Lincoln's kidneys that one time?

- Mr Freeman, godricmansfield, Saccharine Melody, Omegahatchiyak12, & Sonic Wildfire: (evilly smirks)

- bzflatsman & RCurrent: We'll see.

- jeremiahkelley93 & wollyworld: Thanks!

- yami15147: Well, technically, yeah. But again, they're not rescuing him because they presume he's out of the squirrel suit, and therefore, still not good luck.

- DJ Sprouts: Thanks for your reviews! Really appreciate you doing this readthrough!

- OshiroHonzo: Thanks! Glad you found my fanfic, and it was able to make you happy!

(French Narrator Voice) Looks like Lori learned the hard way: food that tastes good is not necessarily good for you. Where will this lead our characters next? Stick around when Reversal of Fortune comes out with its next chapter!