AN: Happy Sunday, hope you enjoy this update and see you again on Wednesday.
The days and weeks following the trial and execution of Andrew Prior were the hardest, and Tris and Eric spent a lot more time in therapy dealing with the revolutions that came out during the trial. They were a strong couple, and they were working diligently to heal from their pasts.
Harrison had asked Cara to expand the new truth serum so that Eric and Tris might be able to recover more of their memories from their childhood, if they ever wanted to, and she'd promised their lab would continue to develop it.
After everything that was done to keep them from remembering each other, they still found each other in the end.
Tris is on her way to Harrison's office, texting back and forth with Eric, who's out of the faction shadowing Tori today. Even though they had made it out of probation, they were still considered to be the junior level of leadership, which in itself was considered an extension of their on the job training. As a result, their shadowing of the senior level of leadership continued.
Eric has been a little less anxious lately, something Tris has noticed but stayed very quiet as to not disturb the peace he's found. He's gotten in a good place with both his brother and Tori, and he and Christina are at least peacefully coexisting, which is all that Tris could ever ask for. Christina and Eric were never friends, so asking them to do anything other than at least give each other a chance wouldn't be fair.
She smiles when Eric texts that he misses her. They'd worried at first that working together, living together, and really spending all of their free time together may overwhelm them, but it feels like as soon as they break apart to start their day they start missing each other.
Even with the revolutions that came out during the trials, and the weight those suppressed memories left behind, they were in a good place together.
She finds Harrison's door ajar, so she knocks softly, heading him say "Come in."
She's not prepared for what she sees.
Dark eyes, messy brown hair, the beginning of a beard and the same nervous tic where he rubs the back of his neck when he's uncomfortable.
"Hi Tris." Tobias says and she just gapes at him.
She'd had no warning, and she can tell that Harrison feels awful for her walking into this.
"I thought you were scheduled to shadow Will." Harrison says nervously.
"He's with Uriah today, and I'm with you." She replies.
"I had my days mixed up." Harrison says, "You can join us, or if you don't want to-"
"I'm good." Tris says as she enters the room. She takes the seat next to Tobias and he looks down at the floor.
"Four got back in this morning. We're working through the living arrangements and job assignment, along with the terms of his probation. This might be good for you to learn." Harrison says and Tris nods.
"Sure." She replies.
She operates on auto pilot, taking notes and paying attention to everything Harrison tells Tobias. She also watches him, looking for any signs of the angry man she last saw when they were last in this faction together.
He seems calm.
Harrison doesn't mince words, he tells Tobias in no uncertain terms that he will be on a very restrictive probation. He will wear a tracker, he will not be allowed out of the faction without at least one member of leadership, he will not have any involvement with the security team, and his badge will not only be monitored but also restricted to only the areas necessary for his job.
As much as Tori had wanted to put him on the janitor staff, Will had smartly pointed out that the janitorial staff had badge access to many secured areas, so a compromise was made. Four would be assigned to the kitchen.
Tris had to bite back a smile. Four hated everything to do with cooking.
He will live in an entirely different building, in a studio apartment similar to what Tris and Eric once shared. His will not have a private bathroom, instead he will use the communal one, and he will have a curfew. He agrees to all of it, signing exactly where Harrison tells him, and he's quiet and respectful. He is ordered to continue with therapy, much like Eric and Tris were, and he's set to also receive probation pay, for the next twenty four months, where he will then be reevaluated for potential release from probation. Harrison then straps a tracker to his ankle and tells him to be at the security center in an hour for his ID and badge to be issued.
Tris is surprised when he thanks Harrison, telling him that he is a much better leader than he ever was, because he allowed him back in the faction when Tobias kicked Eric out.
They were interrupted by a video call from Erudite, and Harrison asks Tris to escort Tobias out of the wing and says he will text her when this unexpected call from Cara was over. She does as he asks, and as she escorts him to the security door that leads to the wing, he glances back at her.
"Coffee?" He asks and she furrows her brow, "I thought maybe we could talk."
Tris takes a deep breath and shakes her head.
"I don't want any trouble, but I feel, at minimum we should get our stories lined up since according to yours you were married to Eric right before you and I got together. I'm a pretty terrible liar, as you remember, so it may be a good idea to talk it through so I don't end up saying the wrong thing." He says quietly.
He's right. She simply nods and turns away.
They walk in silence down to the coffee shop, the same place they'd once talked before when he first began threatening Eric. Once they're seated, the silence is awkward and thick, and finally she breaks it.
"You could just say you didn't know." She says.
"Did you ever tell them that I knew?" He asks and she tries to remember.
"I don't know. I hate that we've had to keep this lie up." She sighs.
"I don't need to know the details of how this happened, I just want to make sure we line up." He replies.
"Fine. You knew, I didn't like talking about it and you didn't press further. You were just there for me when I needed you, when everything with the war came out." She says.
"Fair enough." He nods.
They sit in silence a little longer, and Tris texts Eric back when she reads one from him telling her he wouldn't be back for lunch.
"Are you happy?" He asks and she looks up at him, "With Eric?"
"Yes."
He nods his head once, and concentrates on the coffee cup in front of him, "I'm sorry Tris. I was wrong for all of it. I shouldn't have ever kicked him out, or gotten involved with my mother, or threatened you. I damn sure shouldn't have ever put my hands on you-"
"I don't want to talk about that." She shuts him down.
"Tris, I didn't want to be my father and I was in that moment." He tries again.
"I said I don't want to talk about it. We have our stories straight. You've apologized for being a vile human being. That's it, we don't have to talk anymore. We don't need to be friends. You don't get to just come in here, say you shouldn't have done something, and be forgiven okay?" She says angrily.
"Okay."
She stares at him, and to his credit he doesn't look away from her, "I do appreciate you turning yourself in, and testifying against your mother and my father. Most of all, I appreciate you taking us to that antidote. I never really got to say thank you for that, so I will now."
"I needed to make things right. I won't ever be able to take anything back, but I can at least start making better decisions." He replies.
"That's a good start." She replies.
"Are you and Eric okay?"
"Why are you asking me questions like you actually give a damn about him or me?" She retorts.
"Because I do. I'm not trying to interfere in anything, Tris, and I'm not here in any effort to rekindle a relationship that was never meant to last. I just want to know that you're both okay."
"You don't get to clear your conscious. What you did to him is unforgivable. You changed his entire life! Making him factionless was almost as bad as a death sentence. Then you started telling your mother about him. You exposed all of his weaknesses! You think you can come in here and say sorry and make everything okay?"
"No." He shakes his head.
"Eric and I are good in spite of you. I've never felt more loved, or listened to, or important. He's constantly working on improving himself to strengthen our relationship. When I talk to him, he listens. When I tell him I have an issue with a behavior, he does everything he can to change it. That man loves me like no one ever has." She says and he shakes his head.
"I loved you. I know my actions don't say that, but I did." He replies.
"But you didn't respect me. Not once. No matter what I did, it was never good enough for you."
"I took you for granted. For that, I am incredibly sorry. I'm not asking you about Eric to try and interfere in any way, I ask because you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be respected, cherished and loved. I couldn't do it, and I can admit that. I controlled you, and I was wrong." He admits.
She's watching him carefully, and she knows him well enough to know when he's being dishonest.
He's not.
"I don't deserve your forgiveness, nor do I expect it. I didn't expect you to offer me any kindness at all, but I am thankful for this chance to talk. My conscious will never be clear for the things I did, to you, to Eric, to our faction and city. I was wrong, my hands were dirtier than anyones and getting this chance to start over means a lot to me. I will not interfere with you or your relationship with Eric." He says and she nods.
"Okay."
"How are you handling everything?" He asks.
"How do you think? My father is an executed war criminal, he's someone I didn't know at all, you're sitting across from me when you conspired with your mother for years, my fiancé and I are in therapy for the shit we've been through, shit that you had your hands in, and you get to sit here free as a bird. Sure you're on probation, but you have a home. Eric had nothing."
"I was wrong."
"You know you're wrong now? I've known you were wrong for years." Tris says angrily.
"I understand your anger, and I expect it. I also don't expect a warm welcome, and I don't expect people to forgive me. I just want a chance to prove I have changed. I have a second chance, when I personally took that away from someone else, so I need to be thankful for that." He replies.
"Don't ever forget that. Don't ever think that just because you're here in the security of Dauntless that you're untouchable. Don't take anything for granted." Tris says and she stands, "Don't expect me to be okay with you. I will keep the peace with you, as will my fiancé, because we want to keep our jobs, and we just made it through our own probation. Don't you dare mistake my kindness for weakness. Steer clear of me, and don't you even fucking try to disturb Eric's peace. Leave us alone."
"Okay." He nods.
She walks away.
There was a time she would have listened to everything, she would have found some reason to forgive him, and she would have just taken his apology and ran. Not anymore. His actions have to match his words, and she's not sure they ever will. She's not Beatrice the Abnegation, she's Tris the Dauntless leader. She's stronger, and she won't allow anyone to ever hurt Eric again.
She sends Eric a text, just letting him know she loves and misses him. She hoped that he would text when he's on his way home, and she can head him off and at least give him ample warning that Four was back.
She spends the rest of her day with Harrison, who apologizes profusely for not warning her that Four was back. He explained that he'd tried to negotiate more time in the remedial program that Tobias was enrolled in at Candor, but Jack had no choice but to release him. He'd completed the intensive therapy in Amity, passed the remedial program in Candor with flying colors, and unless Harrison and Tori planned on banishing him from the faction, they had to finally accept him back.
He'd texted Tori, warning her that Four was on his way back, and she'd promised to keep Eric out of the faction as long as possible, and that she'd break the news to him herself.
Tris felt like she was buried in anxiety.
She had no idea how Eric was feeling, she'd heard nothing since the text letting her know he wouldn't be back for lunch. She buries herself in work, tidying up their shared email box, and then going through the work orders to approve what she can before sending them to finance, where they will create invoices. She enjoys working with Harrison, finding his calm and kind nature soothing, especially since Eric's anxiety can sometimes rub off on her.
"Tori has handled telling Eric about Four's return." Harrison says as they continue to go through the work orders.
"Any idea how that went?" Tris asks.
"All he said to her was that he knew it was coming." Harrison replies, "She said he seemed more concerned about you. They've been helping to guard the court today for Jack, that's why it's been radio silence. More of Evelyn's followers have been found."
"Ah." She says and Harrison peer over his reading glasses at her.
"Tris, you can talk to me, not as your leader but as someone who cares about your well-being." He says and she glances over at him.
"I'm okay. I knew he was coming back. We talked a little, but I'm not planning on doing any more talking. He's said what he needed to say, and I did too, it doesn't change anything."
"I personally think Jack was a little too lenient on him." He admits.
"Why'd you let him back in then?" She asks.
"Because two wrongs don't make a right. With what Four did and what Eric did, the decision could have went either way. Tori's brought up things about Eric that bothered her, and she sometimes had valid points. Eric, at minimum, participated in building and stocking those bunkers. No one knew about them, until he came out of hiding, and had anyone heard about them he could have been in the same situation as Four."
Tris nods her head, "I've thought about that myself. Eric always told me they were just in case things went sideways, but he was cooperating long enough to know how to open them."
"Does it bother you?" Harrison asks.
"It did at first, but even if Eric was blindly following them back then, that's not who he is now." She replies.
Harrison nods his head, "I believe that too. We all do up here. Actions speak louder than words, and he's showing that whoever he was back then, before he had that change of heart, isn't who he is now."
Eric was running late, and he'd texted Tris as soon as he was able to. The trials went long, as more of Evelyn's supporters were found, Jack was prompt in getting them on trial. The city needed reassurance and peace, and he was determined to bring it to them.
Tris is sitting down in the cafeteria with Uriah and Marlene, when slowly all of their friends begin to join the table. It had been awhile since they'd all been together, and Tris actually was enjoying spending time with them while waiting for Eric to get home. She'd waved David over when she saw him about to sit alone, and she introduced him to everyone at the table.
She's surprised when she feels hands on her shoulders and looks up to see the grey eyes of her fiancé.
"Did you already eat?" He asks and she shakes her head. He greets the table, and pushes his brother's shoulder playfully before walking with Tris to get food.
"I was waiting for you." She says as he threads his hand with hers.
He drops a kiss to her lips as they wait in line, and she's surprised to find him this relaxed. For a minute, she wonders if Tori truly told him about Four's return, but her question is soon answered when he speaks again.
"You handling him being back okay?" He asks.
She shrugs, "We knew it was coming."
He nods as he grabs food for both of them, and she follows him back to the shared table, where he makes David scoot over so he can sit next to Tris. The conversation flows freely, and for once Eric seems more comfortable with the larger group. Tris has no idea that Christina had helped him with ring shopping, or that her fiancé and best friend had made their own personal peace.
He appreciates the cease fire from Christina. Uriah was easy, while it's obvious he cares deeply for Tris, he also trusts her judgment implicitly. Eric was a little jealous when he first saw how close Tris and Uriah were, he still remembers waking up in the hospital and telling Uriah that Tris was his.
He smiles at the memory, and then plants a kiss on Tris's cheek, catching her off guard. She turns towards him and kisses his lips softly, and when they pull apart he actually catches Christina's eyes and she offers him a true smile.
Even though every person at that table knew Four was back, none of them brought it up. Nothing good would have come out of a conversation about him, instead they just enjoyed the rare time they had where they could all be together.
Lynn entertained them with this weeks best infirmary stories, with Peter hanging on his girlfriend's every word. Their relationship was completely unexpected, but it's obvious that they're happy together.
"I can't believe the things you pull out of people's orifices." Zeke shudders.
"I think she secretly likes it." Shauna says, ribbing her younger sister. Lynn responds by flipping her the bird.
"It gives me great ideas anytime the initiates invite us to a truth and dare game." David says and Uriah lets out a bark of laughter.
"No shit? Oh you have to let us crash one of those. I'll have every damn one of them tattoo my name on them." Uriah says and Peter shakes his head.
"I'm pretty sure your name is available as flash art in the tattoo shop by now." He chuckles.
Tris feels Eric's hand on her thigh and he squeezes her leg briefly and smiles at her when she looks over at him. She drops her hand on his and they thread their fingers together. He still doesn't talk much in social situations, but he's down here with everyone, and it's a good start.
"You okay man?" Zeke asks Eric. There are enough cross conversations going on that no one else pays any attention to him.
Eric shrugs, "Are you?"
"I was close to both of you at one time or another. It'll take some time for me and him, just like it has for me and you. His shit is just a little more personal I guess, because of how he treated her." Zeke nods towards Tris, who is involved in her own conversation with Christina and Marlene.
"Neither of us were totally innocent. We'd both followed influential women in our lives. Him blackmailing Tris, and then kidnapping her for his fucking mother, is what made it unforgivable to me. I don't think I'll ever be okay with him, but as long as we stay out of each other's way we can coexist. This is a big place." Eric replies.
"He's gonna be assigned down here." Zeke says and he watches the expression on Eric's face move from confusion to humor.
"The kitchen?"
Zeke nods, "Yeah. It's the lowest security level. He'll have access to this and the pantry, nothing else."
"I fucking love Harrison." Eric chuckles.
He feels Tris's head resting on his shoulder, and he drops her hand to wrap his arm around her. It's subconscious, much like other things in their lives, and they just naturally drift towards each other.
Tris watches as Lauren enters the cafeteria, quietly moving through the line and getting two meals to go. She remembers doing that herself when Eric first got back, and for a moment she feels sorry for the woman. She and Lauren were never overly close, but she knew that Lauren had always had feelings for Tobias, and they had started at minimum a physical relationship before he was arrested.
At least he wasn't alone. She shouldn't care, but she does, the Stiff in her may never die. Eric presses a kiss to her head, and she smiles briefly before joining in the conversation again. When they finally all say their goodbyes and go their separate ways, she feels Eric pulling her away from the normal path they take to their apartment, and she quirks an eyebrow at him.
"It's not too cold out tonight, I was wondering if you'd want to go up to the roof with me." He says and she nods at him.
They make their way through the winding paths, going up the narrow stairway that led to the place they first saw each other in Dauntless. She wishes she'd recognized him that day, because maybe if they had some memories of each other things could have been different.
Maybe he wouldn't have followed Jeanine.
She follows him up to the roof, and he slips his heavy uniform jacket off and puts it on her. He jumps up on the same ledge she first saw him on, and she smiles up at him.
"I can't believe I knew you most of my life and I didn't recognize you that day." He says.
"I was just thinking the same thing."
"I wanted to make sure you were really okay. Tori said that Harry thought that you and Four had actually talked." He says, dropping back down and leaning on the ledge.
"We did. He wanted to get our story about the marriage in line. He'd heard about it, figured it was something done illegally, and just wanted to make sure he didn't say the wrong thing. He obviously would know that we were never married back then, so yeah..." She trails off.
"That doesn't tell me if you're okay."
She moves towards him, looping her arms around his neck and pulling him towards her, "I'm better now that you're home."
He presses his lips to hers, and for a moment they get lost in each other. He rests his forehead against hers, and they watch as their breath comes out in puffs in the cool weather.
"This is everything right? We've made it through a near death experience, a kidnapping, a marriage and then a dissolved marriage, an engagement, a trial, executions," He squeezes her closer to him when he sees her close her eyes, "and now he's back. This is all. We're dealing with everything now, there's nothing else. We just keep healing and move forward and get married some day."
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure we've gotten through the worst of it. I felt like with the delays in my father's trial, we were just treading water, just stuck in place. It feels now that it's over we can finally move forward." She replies.
"Maybe have some kids." He says quietly and she looks up at him.
"Yeah?" She asks.
He nods, "Yeah. It feels like the timing is almost right. We've got the jobs, money in savings, a bigger apartment, most of all stability."
She smiles at him, "This is certainly a surprise, but it makes me so happy that you're thinking of our future."
"Have you decided if you want a big wedding or a small wedding?" He asks.
"I'm not sure." She replies, "What about you?"
He closes his eyes as she scratches her nails on his scalp. She loves his haircut, it's similar to the one he wore before, but less severe. It's short on the sides, eventually fading into the longer floppy curls on top of his head.
"I just want to marry you. I don't care how we do it, I just want to do it. When can we get married, Tris?" He asks.
"I just need a little more time. I'm just... I don't know... I just thought the day I got married that my dad would be there. I mean, he was a leader, so he could have travelled here. He'd give me away, or something."
She doesn't realize she's crying until he wipes the tears from her cheeks.
"That's perfectly understandable babe. You've got all the time you need. When you're ready, I'm ready, okay?" He says softly.
"Are you sure?" She asks and he nods at her.
"Of course I am."
"I don't want you to think I'm putting you off." She says quietly.
"Hey, look at me," He tilts her chin up and she meets his eyes, "I know you need time to heal. I love you, I'm not going anywhere okay?"
"Okay." She agrees and he presses a chaste kiss to her lips, "You know what we should do tomorrow night?" She asks and he quirks an eyebrow at her.
"I'm almost afraid to ask with that look on your face." He grins at her.
"Go eat steak."
"You dirty girl. Tell me what else." He says with a sexy grin.
"Mashed potatoes."
"Tris, don't tease me, tell me there are lumps in the potatoes." He growls at her.
She leans closer to him and whispers in his ear, "So many lumps."
"Tell me more." He pulls her against him.
"There would be sour cream, and butter." She kisses the tip of his nose, "and even chocolate cake for dessert."
"I still remember that meal, it was one of my favorite nights with you." He grins at her.
"Mine too. I was having dinner with the girls, and they were asking me so many questions about who was making me smile the way I was that night. I told them about you without telling them who you were. I told them you made me happy, and that I was enjoying getting to know you." She blushes.
"That night I was so close to telling you that I was in love with you." He says softly.
"You were so mad at me that night." She shakes her head.
"No, I was mad because you were seeing straight through me. I felt like you had literally torn every wall I had down, and I was afraid that you loved me too. Back then, you loving me would have caused you to leave Dauntless, and I couldn't do that to you."
"I did love you, it had at least started. I hadn't quite wrapped my head around it, but if you hadn't of pushed me away that night... if you had of given me any indication of what you were feeling... I may not have been able to stop myself."
"I'm so glad you never gave up on me." He replies softly.
"I promised you I never would." She smiles at him, "So, about that steak..." She trails off and he chuckles at her.
"Tris Coulter, are you asking me out on a date?" He asks as he places soft kisses on her neck.
"Maybe."
"That sounds so fancy, is this the kind of date where you expect to take me home and have your way with me afterward?" He asks before he kisses her lips softly.
"Absolutely." She replies.
"Then count me in baby."