Thanks to Loki's network of spies and his access to information as King of Midgard, he knew where Sophie's adoptive parents lived. He, Sophie, and Soeren appeared on the doorstep, as Sophie had directed. When Sophie knocked, they all heard a dog barking loudly and incessantly from somewhere beyond the door.
"Is that dog going to be a problem?" Soeren asked.
"No," Sophie replied, deciding not to elaborate further.
The door was opened by a plain looking woman who was slightly overweight, probably somewhere in her fifties.
"Surprised you knocked," the woman said.
"Well, I don't have a key anymore," Sophie shrugged.
Loki could have picked the lock, or teleported them inside, but she was trying to be polite here. But there was no need to mention all that.
"You know of Loki," she added, "This is Soeren, my bodyguard. Soeren, Loki, this is my mother Blair."
Soeren only nodded a greeting. Loki smiled broadly.
"Hi."
Blair eyed them for a moment.
"Come on in, all of you."
She stood back, and a dog with long golden fur tried to come forward. Sophie reacted before either Soeren or Loki.
"Back!" Sophie said sharply in a commanding voice, pointing towards the rear of the house.
The dog retreated as Sophie advanced.
"Sit," Sophie ordered, holding her hand palm up.
The dog obeyed, its eyes glued to her. Only then did Sophie's stern expression melt into a smile, and she petted the dog's head.
"Good girl," she praised.
The dog tried to get up.
"Ah, ah, sit!" Sophie said, her tone shifting again.
Once more, the dog sat.
"Stay," Sophie commanded, holding her palm out towards the dog.
Only then did she turn to Blair. Sophie had already seen the black sedan was gone from the driveway, so she guessed her father was away at work. Nothing short of death would keep him from going to work, she thought derisively. Soeren and Loki stayed back. Soeren wanted to fade into the background as he always did, and Loki wanted to admire the view of Sophie's ass in that outfit.
"What is so important that you had to tell me in person?" Sophie wanted to know.
"Well, it's not like I could just call you. You might be the queen of another world, but when I tried calling your cell, I got a message saying you were 'not in range' and 'weren't available' or something," Blair ranted.
"We are working on getting communication signals to reach between Midgard and Alfheim, but that's not what I meant. You could have just told Loki, and he would have passed on the message."
"You hardly spend any time with us anyway, is it really so hard for you to come visit a little more often?"
"Mother, please," Sophie sighed.
She already felt like turning around and leaving. Stop trying to pick a fight and get to the fucking point already, she thought, irritated.
"What's going on with father?" Sophie asked, adjusting her tone to sound gentle and sympathetic.
"His kidneys are failing."
Sophie didn't respond for several seconds. The way Blair said that, she clearly thought it was a bomb she just dropped that would shatter Sophie's whole world. But it took a lot more than that to so much as ruffle her feathers. She gathered all her questions and thought of how to phrase them so that she didn't come off as the heartless bitch she was.
"I see," she said at last, "Where is he right now?"
"At work," Blair said.
Of course he is. This is why I'm having a hard time taking this seriously. It can't be too serious if he's at work going about his day like he always does.
"What about a kidney transfer?"
"That list is way too long, Sophie. He won't get a kidney in time. And I'm not a match. I won't ask you, it's doubtful that you, as a half elf, would be a match either."
Sophie nodded a couple times as she digested Blair's words.
"Well, that sucks. But he can go on dialysis, that should give him a few years at least."
"Your father is dying, Sophie."
"We're all dying, if you think about it. He's just going to get there quicker than the rest of us."
So much for not sounding like a heartless bitch. That sounded cold even to her own ears. Blair was staring at her.
"What?" Sophie demanded, "He's not about to drop dead. Thank you for telling me about this, but now that we know, we have time to prepare ourselves for it."
Blair had no idea how fortunate she was. She knew something tragic was coming, so she had time to accept that, come to terms with it, and figure out how to deal with the fallout afterward. Blair didn't work, so she had time to figure out what she would do to support herself afterwards. She would probably have to move, as it was doubtful she could pay the rent on this house after the death of her husband. Because they had never owned a house, their credit sucked too much and they lived paycheck to paycheck. The point was, the crisis was not imminent. Sophie wished she'd had advanced warning before Dáinn had been killed. But she didn't, because he died in battle. It wasn't expected, and happened in an instant. But oh how she wished she'd known beforehand. Blair didn't know how spoiled she was to have this warning.
"He doesn't have to die," Blair said quietly, "Not now. Not like this."
Sophie stared at her. Where was this going?
"You... you're in charge of a world similar to where he comes from," Blair said, glancing at Loki.
"Yes," Sophie said, frowning.
"You have access to technologies and information we could only dream of."
Again, that was accurate.
"Yes."
"Including medical information."
And there it was.
"There is no magic cure for kidney failure," Sophie said, "No one can waive a magic wand and fix this instantaneously."
Loki and Soeren exchanged looks but said nothing. Everyone in the room except for Blair knew they could most likely find a solution to the problem. But Sophie, for whatever reason, didn't seem interested in even trying to find it. They kept their mouths shut, deciding not to reveal any of this to Blair.
"But... there must be a way," Blair insisted, hope fading from her eyes.
Sophie shook her head slowly.
"No," she said, "I'm sorry."
Sophie stepped forward and hugged her mother. The two women clung to each other for a long minute, then Sophie finally pulled away, smiling sadly.
"Talk to the doctors about dialysis," she said gently, "I'll come back to visit you guys soon, I promise."
She gave her mother a last kiss and hug, petted the dog, and left with Loki and Soeren.
"I haven't been on Midgard in a while," she reflected, "Not since the ball celebrating the alliance between Midgard and Alfheim."
She would always remember that night, mostly because it was the day afterwards that Loki told her he loved her.
"Which was...the beginning of 2014? And it's now... fall of 2015."
Only now did she realize a birthday had passed without her notice.
"Let's go get something to eat," Sophie said suddenly.
Now that she said that, she started to wonder when she'd last had pizza or fried chicken. Since way before the Alliance Ball, for certain. She hadn't even thought of those types of food in the years since. And strangely, she felt no desire for them now. Just thinking of all that grease made her shudder.
"What cuisine do you desire?" Loki asked.
It only took a second to decide.
"Sushi. We don't have sushi on Alfheim."
Well, they had the necessary components, the ingredients just weren't combined. Loki got them to the restaurant Sophie mentioned, and Soeren immediately took up his smoke form and faded into the shadows. A starstruck waitress took their order and brought them drinks. Sophie smirked as she sipped her Perrier, noticing several cell phones were focused in their direction, snapping photos of them.
"You know there's probably a way to help your father," Loki said, apparently oblivious to the attention they were getting.
Sophie knew he saw them. He was just ignoring them.
"I know."
"So why did you lie?"
"Because if I used technology from Alfheim to save his life, what would I say if someone else asked me? If I made an exception for one, I'd have to agree to everyone that wanted magic space solutions to their medical problems. Besides, humans aren't designed to live a ridiculously long life. They've got to accept that when their time is up, it's up, so they'd best make use of the time they have."
"Is that your decision to make?"
"It is my decision on how my realm's resources are used and distributed."
"So suppose, once I am King of Asgard, I make the healing we can do available to Midgardians."
Sophie stared at him.
"That would be up to you," she said, though it pained her to admit she wasn't in control of that choice, "But I wish you wouldn't."
"Why?"
Sophie took a breath to reign in her annoyance. He didn't understand. He couldn't know. So she had to explain it to him, to help him understand.
"You would have some people with much longer lifespans than others. Unnaturally longer. Extending that lifespan in beings that were not meant to live that long makes a bad situation because...well, you'd have a lot more people in my situation. My parents will die before me, so will my Midgardian friends. Rogers, Barnes – fuck, Loki, look at them! They're a perfect example of what I'm trying to say. They've lived longer than they expected through unusual circumstances, and the world has changed drastically. Their family and friends are long dead. Do you have any idea how that messes with a person? No, no you don't. Of course you don't. It's normal for an Asgardian to live a few thousand years. Everyone around you lives a few thousand years. What I'm saying is when that's not normal, the emotional toll that puts on those that live longer is extreme. I'm going to lose everyone on Midgard I love, eventually. Fuck, even the restaurants I love are going to close down eventually."
She looked around the room, imagining herself a few thousand years from now, missing that one perfect sushi roll that only this one place sold, but she couldn't have it anymore because the place went out of business. Damn. Sometimes my life really sucks. I'm really sad now.
The waitress returned, setting their food before them.
"Excuse me, can I get five more of these?" Sophie asked, gesturing at the sushi roll on her plate.
The waitress agreed and returned to the kitchen. Loki stared at her as Sophie shoved one of the pieces in her mouth. She ignored him, knowing she looked like a chipmunk with its cheeks full. She had a small body, and that meant a smaller mouth in which to fit food.
"I can see your point," Loki admitted finally, beginning to eat his own food.
Sophie nodded once, acknowledging that. The waitress returned with her other sushi rolls by the time she finished her first.
"But perhaps that's not entirely my reasoning," Sophie said quietly once the woman left, "Perhaps I simply refuse to aid my father because I feel nothing at the thought of his passing."
That thought disturbed her, but it rang true in her heart. It was surprising to her that it hadn't frozen over by now. Yet it wasn't stone, nor ice, not when looking at Loki made her feel the opposite of numb. It struck her in that moment that hatred was not the opposite of love, that it was perhaps apathy instead. She'd heard something of the sort before, but not until now did she recognize it's truth, not until now did it truly resonate with her. With this discovery, came the pain. She wanted to feel saddened at the thought of her father's death, but she did not. That lack of feeling was what made her feel something, and there was so much irony there that she could write a poem with it, if she chose. A quote from Downton Abbey popped into her head and wrung a wry smile from her lips.
I'm not as sad as I should be, and that's what makes me sad.
Loki noticed the smile, but said nothing about it, recognizing the misty look in Sophie's hazel eyes as the signal that she was not exactly in the sushi shop at that moment.
I always knew I liked something about Lady Mary Crawley, Sophie thought, Now I know why I like her so much. It's because she reminds me of myself. Didn't Edith call her a bitch in the latest episode? Yes. And she was correct, about both Mary and myself. But I can't bring myself to be too alarmed or upset by that statement. It is what it is. I am who I am. If not feeling upset at the thought of my father's death makes me a bitch, then so be it.
Given that her adoptive father had been emotionally and mentally abusive to her growing up, Sophie could cut herself a break. Especially since she would probably feel very sorry and upset once he was dead and it was too late to do anything about it. It wasn't because of his past actions that she refused to help him, not a tit-for-tat revenge, it was simply because she lacked the desire to aid him. She truly felt nothing. She should feel something.
I'm already enough of an emotional Ice Queen, Sophie thought, sipping her Perrier and gazing at Loki thoughtfully, If we were to wed, I would become the Queen of Jotunheim, and thus, a literal Ice Queen.
She almost laughed at the idea.
But enough drowning in this melancholy.
All additional sushi rolls had been devoured. She had to stop this emerging habit of eating her feelings. First she denied herself food, then she ate too much and used it to dull the things she felt. Why could she not find a healthy, happy medium ground with food?
"Things seem to be going well here," Sophie said, looking around, "Midgard, I mean."
"Yes," Loki replied, "Fortunately my rule stabilized long ago, but the occasional situation does pop up. Jotunheim has given me almost no trouble at all, which is the exact opposite of what I expected."
Sophie merely hummed. Loki rolled his eyes.
"I know, I know," he drawled, "'You can't take what other people say of a people as truth. You have to get to know them yourself.' Still, centuries of propaganda and prejudice are difficult to shake off."
Sophie credited the biggest change in Loki from the man she first met so many years ago to the Jotuns defying Loki's expectations of them. The more he saw them in a good light, the more positive the outlook on himself became, which in turn affected his view of nearly everything else.
"I'm glad matters on Jotunheim are running smoothly. But you know you can always speak to me about problems you face, on Jotunheim or Midgard. I might not be your consultant since becoming Queen of Alfheim, but I am still your friend, and your lover. It's safe to talk to me."
Loki smiled, but it was one of his reflexive, trying to hide something smiles.
"I didn't want to trouble you."
"That's one of the most ridiculous things you've ever said to me, as it would be no trouble at all," Sophie said sternly.
Loki said back in his chair.
"Very well. If you wish to know..."
They spoke about Loki's previous instances of ruling Midgard as much as they could in a public restaurant being intently observed by half the room. It was something that Sophie had slowly grown used to since Dáinn's death. A ruler was surrounded by people, all day, every day. Even when Sophie was alone, she was within shouting distance of a small army of staff. But as they sat there, surrounded by curious Midgardians, Sophie got the strange feeling of being an animal on display at the zoo. It wasn't because of the attention, because she drew looks on Alfheim whenever people she didn't usually interact with her saw her. She was their Queen; it was natural that they stare. Here... ah. That was it.
Sophie did not belong here, on Midgard.
Once she put her finger on the distant, nagging sensation, she knew that was what had been bothering her. This place, this world, felt foreign to her now. Familiar, certainly, but distant. Different. It wasn't the Midgard she knew and considered her home. And in many ways, it was not. She heard several people whispering terms in plain English that she didn't understand. Not only was she out of touch with slang, but when was the last time she'd been on social media? Midgardian culture mutated at such a rapid pace, and with the long periods of time she spent away from it...of course she was an outsider now. Many things were not the same as they had been before she left for Alfheim, way at the dawn of 2012.
Which, really, was when Midgard had ceased to be her home. She'd spent a year submerged in the ways and culture of Alfheim, which was what she needed to learn about her people and how to rule there. Alfheim's culture had not changed since then, as Midgard's had. And somewhere within that year, Midgard stopped being where she belonged. She might have visited briefly to help Loki with the conflict with the Dark Elves at the end of 2013, and again at the beginning of 2014 for the celebration of the alliance between Midgard and Alfheim, but Midgard continued to grow and change without her. She did not know this place the way she once did.
Still, she had ties to this place. She'd seen to the obligation of her mother, now she wanted to see others she had more positive feelings toward. Loki had no objection to her seeing Rogers and Barnes, but he said he wouldn't intrude. They were her friends, apparently, not his. Sophie respected that and reached for her debit card to pay for her part of the meal... and realized this jumpsuit did not have pockets. She hadn't even thought to bring her debit card. When was the last time she'd used it? Definitely not my home anymore, she thought, her heart sinking.
Loki conjured currency to pay the entirety of the bill with a flourish and a smile.
"Fret not, kitten," he said, "Your man provides."
Sophie huffed and rolled at the ridiculousness of that statement, though she was smiling. Loki was always so dramatic. He knew as well as she did that she could provide for herself.
"I've always been so envious of that particular power of yours," she said.
"I would teach you conjuration, but if I did, you'd never get out of bed," Loki said with arched eyebrows, "You'd be summoning chocolate cake to you at regular intervals."
Sophie laughed, because she could see herself doing exactly that. But just for a little while.
"I would not become a couch potato just because I learned how to summon things," she objected as he paid the bill, "And you know it."
"I do," Loki winked, "But it's fun to tease you."
Sophie shook her head.
"Rogue," she accused.
Loki didn't deny it. He took her to Rogers and Barnes, who were thrilled to see her. As Loki disappeared, Sophie stared wistfully at the spot where he'd vanished. She envied that power of his too. Still, she had powers and abilities that he did not, and that was what made them such a good team. She spent the remainder of the day with them, until night came and Loki came to steal her away from them. He brought her back to her chambers on Alfheim and turned away to disappear, but she grabbed his hand before he could leave.
"Wait... I want you to stay with me tonight. If you would."
Loki looked at her curiously for a moment, then smiled a soft, tender smile.
"Certainly, kitten. It shall be as you wish."