Chapter 11 – Family

Author's Note: I hope that y'all like the rewritten ending of this story! Enjoy! :)

Thank you all so much for reading, favoriting, following, and/or reviewing this fic! :D

~ Amina Gila

"I'm not going to ask what happened between you and Anakin," Ahsoka declares flatly, glancing at Obi-Wan again. Her former master has crashed on Kanan's bedroom floor – he hasn't left the room since. It's been hours. It's... actually been over half a day. Whether he's sleeping, meditating, or brooding, no one dares ask or interrupt him. Before she talks to Anakin again, she wants answers. "But I want him to stay with us if we have a choice."

"It would be his choice, not ours," Obi-Wan objects.

She shoots him a look, remembering how Anakin was quite literally cowering from him. "When people are ruled by fear, they do not act reasonably."

"They chose to let their fear rule them."

"And that fear is also the cause of an outside influence," she replies. "One which we have no right to enhance. He is Sidious' victim as much as the rest of the galaxy." It's just that – she can't imagine having to live without him again now that she saw him again. Even if she can't forgive him.

"He is no longer the person we once knew," Obi-Wan objects, "You must remember that, Ahsoka."

"I know." She thinks again of the darkness swirling around him on Malachor, and of every moment between them since. "But he is still Anakin. I won't make the mistake of leaving him again."

"Was it truly a mistake?"

You abandoned me! You failed me! "It couldn't have been anything less. I had a choice to look out for myself, or for Anakin, and I chose myself." She turns away from him, arms crossed. The pain of it is gnawing at her, but she made her choice. She has to live with it through to the end.

The same way Anakin will now need to.

"Maybe in some ways it feels like trying to help him now will make up for when I didn't in the past, even if I know it won't. I wonder what would have happened had I not left, but the Force brought me here for a reason. Even so, I still chose to leave him."

"Had you remained, you would have changed nothing," he assures. She wishes she could believe that. She can't stop remembering her vision on Lothal. You're making a mistake, Anakin had said to her, and it's always stuck in her mind. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was.

She still remembers with glaring clarity how his presence felt so real in her mind that day, at the Temple, when she knelt there alone. It was as if he were real, tangible. Present. She doesn't know if their communication was real, but it felt like it was.

"What about me? I believed in you. I stood by you!"

"Do you know what I have become?"

She had been selfish and shortsighted, even if it led her where she needed to go. Anakin was a better Jedi than her. She hadn't seen that Anakin hadn't wanted to do it. She didn't accept that he was choosing the Jedi over her – that he was trusting the Council over her. She was only thinking of how he was her master, and he was supposed to take care of her. She couldn't understand why he wasn't, until later, when she remembered...

Well.

Hardeen.

It had left him broken, but she couldn't see any of it – he gathered himself back together and kept moving, no matter what Obi-Wan did to him, to both of them. "It is not our place to question the Council, Snips," was what he'd said about it, looking more worn than he had in his life.

It had only made her angrier. She wanted to hurt what hurt him, but that had only lasted so long and then she left, and everything fell apart.

"I just want to ask you to help him," she says finally, "That's all."

"If there is anything left of Anakin, I will."

Ahsoka leaves it at that; there's no point pushing farther.

**w**

Ahsoka isn't surprised that Anakin sleeps until well into the next day. He still seems tired, though slightly better off, and... it's as chaotic as she imagined.

They went outside with Rex, only to have some time and space to themselves. They need to get back to Atallon as soon as possible, but that's waiting on Anakin. Hence why she wanted them to talk to Rex. Getting his input would be beneficial, at least. She can only hope he'll listen to Rex when he won't to her. He trusts Rex more.

Except, none of them know what to say.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" Rex asks finally.

Anakin nods slightly. Ahsoka can't stop watching him. He looks different now, older, but still so similar. His hair is shorter than she remembers, but still long enough that she can see how curly it is.

"I thought you were gone with the Jedi," the clone says, "We all mourned you. And then we found out you were still alive – not helping us, but hunting us. I am grateful you are alive, but I never would have imagined you were helping the Empire."

"I thought you were gone," Anakin responds finally. Ahsoka can sense his discomfort. "I found the planet the cruiser crashed on. I knew Ahsoka survived, but you were..."

Ahsoka had left it there, in part, if Anakin would find it. He had made it for her, and it was a symbol of so much of what they stood for. Of everything they were to each other. "Do you still have it?" she inquires.

"It is on my castle on Mustafar."

"I don't know if knowing you were alive all this time is better or worse," Rex confesses.

"It would be safer if I was not here at all," Anakin points out. The flatness to which he says it, the certainty, is what upsets her. They're standing near the Ghost, which in and of itself is odd – Anakin is always moving. He hates standing still, unless it's at the end of exiting hyperspace. He doesn't move very much anymore, unless it's to touch something. Then he won't stop.

"We are all grateful to have you here." Ahsoka watches him closely, trying to gauge his reaction, but it's hard to tell. She doesn't think he's sure, either.

"We are," Rex agrees, "I am glad to have you back, General."

Anakin shifts, dragging one of his boots in the sand a little unnecessarily – Ahsoka is so grateful the spell was nice enough to include clothes – before turning away. "I do not deserve your loyalty," he objects at last. "Don't give it to someone who will only leave you."

"And are you going?" she asks, ignoring the twisting pain in her heart. "Back to the Empire? With everything you know?"

Anakin paces a short distance, unsteadily. He's moving slowly, deliberately. She's noticed it. He's not accustomed to his own body anymore, and it sickens her to see. He should never have lost that. "The Empire has the strength the galaxy needs to bring order."

"It's only been causing more chaos," Ahsoka argues.

"I am the one who brought the remnants of the Clone Wars to a close," her once-master replies sharply, "With the Empire behind me. Without this strength, the galaxy would never have found even relative peace."

"It rules by fear. How can you ignore that, Anakin?" She doesn't understand this. None of it makes sense – Obi-Wan is right that he's changed a lot.

"Aside from the enforced unity, there is no difference in the rule of the Republic and the Empire, only the crimes of the Republic are no longer concealed."

Anakin is facing his back to them now. "The Republic actively participated in slavery as well. I am... regretful that you were caught in the fallout. I... had no control over the Empire's treatment of clones."

He means it, and that's as obvious in his voice now as it always has been, and it makes her want to weep. She missed him so badly. It was as though she lost a part of herself. Somehow, it hurts just as much hearing about how he wanted to help but couldn't. Sidious wouldn't let him. It makes so much sense. Even the Dark Side could never destroy Anakin's heart. Somehow, it's withstood everything he endured.

She doesn't even know if she wants to know what that entailed.

"I will not ask for something I do not deserve," he continues, "But I... if I could have spared you from that, I would have."

"I forgive you," Rex replies readily, "You have done so much for all of us."

Anakin practically freezes, turning back to face them. "Why? You know what I have done."

"You have always been loyal to us, sir. We fought together for years, even if times may be different now."

Anakin is staring at them, his shock and confusion flowing into the Force. "I don't..."

"I'm not leaving you again," Ahsoka replies. "Even if I can never forgive you. You raised me. You cared for me. You were there when I had no one. I saw what happened because I left. I would like to repay that."

"That will lead you to ruin, as I have everyone else. You deserve better."

"Maybe you are a monster," she shoots back, "But we want this. You said you don't want to hurt me. I can't imagine that's changed."

"My wants are of no consequence."

"They matter to us," Rex argues. "Ours always mattered to you."

Briefly, Ahsoka almost longs for a five-year-old brain. It was so simple then, but there's... no reason it can't be simple now, is there? Anakin hasn't shown any Sith-like tendencies since he changed, and she wants to make the most of that. She moves forwards first, slowly, wrapping her arms around him, and Anakin melts into it instantly. He probably hasn't been touched in a very long time. She can't imagine what that'd be like. After a few moments, a semi-reluctant but mostly weirded out Rex joins by Ahsoka's prompting. It's been so, so long since she's had both her brothers together, and she wouldn't give it up for anything in the world.

**w**

It takes gathering a ridiculous amount of courage for him to face Obi-Wan again. It's always difficult, but now it's just... Anakin doesn't know why it upsets him so much. Perhaps because he's demanding something now, and he doesn't know how to or if he should or if it's dangerous.

He just got himself back. He can feel and be free again, and he's still trying to get used to it. He doesn't want to lose all of that again. He doesn't know if he could bear it. "I sense a presence here," he says, "One strong in the Force. It is... important."

Obi-Wan has never been good at hiding things. That's still true – Anakin can see how his expression shifts the slightest bit. "I have no reason to explain it."

"Yes, you do," he shoots back, "Or I will locate it myself. It is too untrained to be another Jedi. A padawan, perhaps?" His frustration spikes when the Jedi Master remains silent. "Are you preparing another generation of traitors? Perhaps he will serve as a replacement Sith apprentice when my master is gone."

He barely has time to blink before Obi-Wan whips out his lightsaber, leveling it at him. "You will not go near him," he snaps, the first of his façade breaking.

Now that he's so close to the lightsaber, to that lightsaber, Anakin can't help morbidly wondering what it would feel like to lean closer, to have the plasma burn through his skin and cut him through and end this. Except he still has a purpose, and he won't let himself die in such a foolish manner. Lashing out, he throws Obi-Wan back with the Force. He lands ungracefully in the sand – they're outside, a short distance from the Ghost. Anakin rips his lightsaber away with the Force before he can try anything else.

"Then tell me what I want to know."

He has never demanded something from Obi-Wan before, and that's likely the reason for the strange amount of... nervousness he feels. Being out of his armor, too, makes him feel vulnerable. He knows his mask was designed for intimidation, and it served its purpose. Feeling the fear of others only fueled him, and it's another breach in the flow of the Dark Side. He can't draw on it the same, and he's reluctant to draw on the Force at all. It's so much stronger now than he remembers it being for years. It's overwhelming. Sometimes, it feels like he can't breathe.

Across him, Obi-Wan stands, eyes narrowed calculatingly.

The lightsaber feels wrong in his hands. It's the one that caused him so much pain, the one that's haunted his dreams for years. Whether he sees it cutting through his limbs or... elsewhere, it varies by the minute. Or, sometimes, those that are worse than replaying his memories – those where all he can feel is the lightsaber pressed against his skin and feels it sizzling and burning. The ones where he can actually speak and beg for it to stop. Except it was Sidious who took him apart, not Obi-Wan, because his once-master would never have... done that.

The idea of it is always the same – Obi-Wan hurting him in ways he didn't know he could, because Obi-Wan was always... he meant comfort, once. Home.

Anakin tosses his lightsaber into the sand between them, partly because he doesn't want to hold it and partly because he doesn't want to become more tempted to use it than he already is. He doesn't want to fight again, even if it's inevitable.

"What about this... presence is so important?" he asks.

"It is the galaxy's future," Obi-Wan replies. He's still dodging questions, but that's closer.

It also answers the question – it is someone he intends to train. Except it doesn't make sense – Obi-Wan would never remain in hiding solely to protect one mere child. There is something more to this, though he can't figure out what. "You should have thought before involving him. Now he will die with you."

Obi-Wan calls his lightsaber back to him; his anger flares into the Force, and Anakin has only a millisecond of warning before he's thrown back. It's the lack of pain that startles him most when he hits the ground, then the sand he lands in. He can feel it.

He can feel it like he did on Mustafar.

He can feel the sandy, rocky ground, covered with shards of glass, digging into his skin and cutting into him, but it's nothing like the agony of his severed limbs, nothing like the fire that ripped him apart, nothing like the knowledge that the man doing this to him is the one he once called his father – the only one he ever had –

His limbs are shaky when he pushes himself up, trying to ground himself on how he can feel again – feel the sand as it stings his skin. The memories are flashing again, and he wants to make them stop, except no one can do that. And it's like he can hardly breathe, and he can't when he thinks about it, because he doesn't remember how to anymore.

He's struggling to stand, pain spearing through his head and back and chest and it's burning like the fires on Mustafar, and his limbs aren't working as he tries to stand.

No. It's the past. It doesn't matter – he can still get the answers he needs, because this is important, and somehow Anakin thinks it will affect his decision. He must know the truth.

"Anakin," his once-master says, and he pauses in his tracks. It's the first time Obi-Wan has actually called him his name. "I know you will not kill him. He was... important to you."

"Was he?" All he had was Rex and his boys and Ahsoka and – and Padme. (And Obi-Wan.) And his mother, who would be so, so... he doesn't want to think about how she would feel. He doesn't want to think about how his... brother and sister-in-law would feel, either. He doesn't know who this could be. There is no one who was important to him, not so young and untrained.

Obi-Wan seems uncomfortable about something. "He's your son," he answers finally, "And it will be best to leave him be until it is time for him to leave."

What?! "Son?" Anakin echoes incredulously. "That's impossible. Padme died by my hand. She couldn't have..."

"You didn't kill her. We don't know what did. I have... suspicions, but she survived Mustafar long enough to give birth."

"Luke," he breathes, and then it makes so much sense. Obi-Wan was impossible to find because he was staying here, out of sight of the Empire, hiding on Tatooine.

With Anakin's son. His son, who is no doubt strong in the Force as Anakin himself is. Obi-Wan is keeping him here to train him to be a Jedi. He kept Luke away from Anakin, even knowing he was alive. It angers him, but he's more in shock than anything else.

He has a son. He thought for years that he killed his child, the very child he was trying to protect, but Force knows how he didn't. The world around him feels faint and distant.

His son, Luke – he's still alive. He thought he was gone. He thought he killed him.

He missed sixteen years of his life, thinking he was gone and dead, years they can never get back, except Luke is still there.

"You know," Obi-Wan asks quietly.

"Padme –" It cuts him to the core to say her name, even now, "– chose the name for a boy. I chose the name for a girl."

Obi-Wan doesn't say anything else, and neither does he. Truthfully, he doesn't really remember the next few minutes, or hours. It could have been hours. Luke is here, and he's alive and Anakin has no idea what it means. It changes everything, yet nothing at all. He's still in the same place he always was, except... perhaps, by some chance, he truly isn't as messed up as he thought he was. Maybe Ahsoka and Rex and everyone else are right. Somehow. He wants to hope, but hope is foolish. That is one thing he has learned.

It's not until hours later that Ezra finally approaches him. Anakin glances at him, something in his heart twisting painfully. This boy is... so much like his own child would have been. Perhaps how Luke is. He doesn't know.

"Hera... wants to know if you're staying here or coming with us," he says finally, awkwardly. This is awkward. The first time they met, Anakin nearly killed him. "We would like your help, but it's your choice, of course. She says we're leaving tomorrow. We hafta get back to base."

Anakin glances out across the sands again, idly registering that he should get inside before it gets too hot. He only hasn't already because being out in the open is... nice and being inside with Rebels who he isn't fighting is extremely... strange.

He wants to go, to stay with Ahsoka and Rex and the others, to help plan Sidious' demise. Obi-Wan was here with Luke long enough, and while Anakin would have to be a fool to trust him, he clearly has... been doing his job, at least enough that his son is still alive. First, he wants to see him. Maybe he... doesn't deserve to and it would be better if Anakin doesn't stay with him, but he's been alone for so long. He wants to be with his son. With his family.

All he does know is that his son will never be safe until Sidious has been dealt with. Anakin cannot defeat Sidious alone. He's not foolish enough to try, nor has he had a reason to. His master has already shown weakness; the state of the galaxy makes that a simple matter to judge.

He would... idly, want to take over the Empire with Luke, and perhaps... eventually. But he would much rather his son never have to see his master. Never have to learn the deepest horrors in the galaxy. "I will come with you," he agrees at last, "But I have... a matter to attend to here, first. Then we will go after Sidious."

He's not surprised to see Kanan and Ahsoka approaching behind Ezra. "It will be dangerous," Kanan points out.

"We have no choice," Anakin replies, "We will never find... peace unless he is gone."

"Hera said one time that what makes us the Rebellion is that we have hope things will get better," Ezra ventures. "Which it will."

He doesn't hope anymore. It would be foolish for him to, but he glances up to where Ahsoka stands, arms crossed. She's still here. That has to mean something. He'll go find his son tomorrow. Tonight, he'll just...

Be.

THE END :D

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