Chapter 5: Outcast and Somber Work
The break didn't take long so we were back on the road after talking some with me answering questions I COULD FULLY remember. It's been so long I don't even remember my niece's smiles anymore clearly. Did they survive? Are they ELID's? I'll never know really because most of America is fucked beyond Red Zones. Most of America has gone Black Zone, meaning there's nothing left in those areas, just death.
Just so much death… death I helped cause even before World War Three by being a Wendigo and trade item. Tried lying to myself about it so many times but it always comes back around. Shaking my head I focused on driving.
[Penny for your thoughts? Your entering a depressed state of mind]
Making sure only Scabs and Pancake could hear me even with G41 riding behind me. I spoke my lower mask not moving like it usually would.
"Just thinking about things I couldn't remember much of anymore, like my niece's. Then it comes right back to the truth I want to bury. I helped further that research in Relics and Pike Nodes by being a Wendigo, then as a traded lab rat to those people. Just wondering if I hadn't done something's if there'd be any worth saving me? I'm so stained in blood I doubt my soul is anything but black…"
[You helped yes but not with much foreknowledge on what would happen just what they wanted, like it or not you're last person who lived through those events and they'll stay with you, that's survivors guilt for you Colonel, you can only keep doing what you've been doing]
[Master, your family and friends would probably not want you to keep doing this. You've paid a heavy price and have been trying to help for a hundred two years and counting. You mess up at times I know, however you always redouble your effort to offset that. To the point I've seen you break down mentally for a time and just stare at the clouds for hours, possibly days. You've accepted your part in those tragedies before, during, and after World War Three. Now you've just gotta keep trying to do good where you can, like at Griffon and Kyruger.]
"Scabs plays devil, you play angel huh? But you two raise valid points. You mostly do at times like this, but no more advice on bar hopping. I ended up snapping fifty necks of the Mafia doing that shit. Couldn't even get drunk…"
The two highly advanced mechanical lives snorted at that in my head. It's weird when they do that; it's like someone's farting in my head. Our little conversation carried on and probably a bit too long at that. As we had arrived at the edge of the town which needed the relief supplies. The place looked like shit. Its walls had corpses of ELID, Human, and Dolls either hanging or impaled into or onto it in places. Holes going through it in sections revealing destroyed buildings with rubble and some corpses littered about.
Driving into the town through a destroyed gate we looked around the place. Clearing our way through area's I'd move anything really dangerous like a live line. Being adaptive and undying because of alien tech has its uses I grabbed the live wires and carried them away. Eventually we reached the town center where there was a camp of the inhabitants situated. They tensed seeing us but when we started unloading supplies they eased up slightly but a few people. One tried bashing in p90's head while she was distracted so I moved between them.
The stressed, angry, and fearful Human, a female in her thirties wearing police armor. Wailed into my head with a broken metal pipe screaming and crying about stuff. She wasn't really noticing anything different even as I stared at her. The suddenness of it had surprised the surroundings a lot with people and Dolls scrambling to get her.
"Give my husband back! Give my Halmin back to meee! You fuckinh worthless pieces of shit machines! You destroyed everything, now you're back playing nice?!"
As an A-Doll grabbed the cop and dragged her away her pipe clattered to the ground. Blood may be caking it and running down my head but I just sigh. Looking around at my T-Dolls I noticed they had essentially frozen from what had just happened. Although Pancake was trotting over so I sat down slowly because brain damage is still a thing. Letting her look at my head, Scabs covered my left eye as most of the damage done was on the right side. A 3D scan of my skull was provided over the covered eye.
While Pancake used her paws rather skillfully to clean and look at the damage. The T-Dolls snapped out of it shortly afterwards as Scabs started to work on meticulously fixing brain damages first. G41, and any of the T-Dolls with more animal features stood there looking at me before they growled. Springfield being a mother hen stopped the ones likely to hunt the cop down. G41 didn't like that so she sat beside me giving people a death glare, lips curled back.
"Be careful while giving out supplies, subdue hostile survivors. I'll be fine in a few minutes tops, the damage is already being repaired."
The Dolls wanted to say something but didn't as they saw that I was being tended to already. Though none could near G41 to get her to help out with things as she's entered a protective mode. They COULD just not without the rabid Doll growling and going to bite them for trying. She probably would've hunted down that cop and killed her if she didn't clearly have struggled to decide. But I guess watching over me won out in the end so she's just plopped down near me to watch over me.
It'd take a while so I just stared at Pancake's broad canine chest as it's in my face.
"Thank you for behaving G41, I know you want to bite her but you did good."
This seemed to honestly surprise her as I could hear her ears going wild in confusion. Hearing some shifting of small gravel sized debris and hand sized chunks. I feel G41 lean her body into my arm so I give her a hug to my side while rubbing her head and ears. This got the long haired blonde to release a rumbling growling like pur from her throat. Her body relaxing with her comfortable against me and probably squinting a glare at everyone else.
[Heh this is adorable you get tended to by a big canine girl while a smaller one acts as a guard dog]
Rolling my eyes at the comment I slowly stood up after a while after Pancake got done tending to me. Looking around at the still milling about towns people I do a radio check on the Dolls. Gratefully nothing had happened to anyone of them, not so much someone being stupid apparently. Tokarev had to stab a person's arm then push her gun against their head for trying to… forcefully proposition a few of them. M4 found an actual BEAR cub, A LIVING FUCKIN BEAR! Those are rare in this day and age but it's a cub… What happened to its mother?
Don't think I'll be able to really tell the Dolls "no bear cub" though. Half of them have already essentially adopted it. The most surprising of them who likes it though is Ballista. She sounded like a serious and mostly cold person from M4's description, but she seems to have accepted the cub. As well it seems to like her the most so guess we're adopting a bear. Just no God damn adopting fairies, fuck them! They're insufferable little bastards.
Shaking my head I walked around with Pancake and G41 trailing after me. A song came to mind as I walked. I'll be good by Jaymes Young, a song I have sometimes sung to keep sane.
"I thought I saw the devil this morning
Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue
With the warning to help me see myself clearer"
Looking at the surroundings I sigh softly. The destruction gets so old along with all the death. I certainly get why some story characters always say any form of immortality is a curse. Live long enough you see everything life has to offer, bad wise.
"I never meant to start a fire
I never meant to make you bleed
I'll be a better man today
I'll be good, I'll be good"
Picking up a discarded and bloodied stuffed cat Scabs locates the body of the owner. Looking at the stuffed animal I look towards the highlighted debris before handing it to G41. She looked confused but took it nonetheless while I started unburying the body. Getting to it I pulled the mostly crushed body of a four year old out before seeing a patch of regular soil. Looking towards Pancake she gets the request to dig out a grave for the child. G41 though seeing the body gets why I handed her the stuffed animal now.
"And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the times that I never could
My past has tasted bitter for years now"
Setting the body gently into the grave we buried it before I lined broken concrete around the grave. A small alcove to sit and prop the stuffed animal up. G41 with ears rather low gets the purpose as she very tenderly sets the stuffy there. After that we just set out to uncover remains and bury them around the child.
"So I wield an iron fist
Grace is just weakness
Or so I've been told
I've been cold, I've been merciless
But the blood on my hands scares me to death
Maybe I'm waking up today
I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should (oh-oh-oh)"
S.A.T POV
I wanted to ask what the Commander would have us do as the supplies have been sorted and passed out. However, he wasn't where we had left him. Instead I found him, G41, and Pancake in the process of burying a body. An elderly old man whose head had caved in with most of it gone. The Commander singing a song as they worked.
"I'll be good, I'll be good
(I'll be good, I'll be good)
For all of the light that I shut out
For all of the innocent things that I doubt
For all of the bruises I've caused in the tears"
There were so many graves that had been dug in less than a few minutes. Each lined with something and bloodied momento marking them.
"For all of the things that I've done
All these years, no, yeah
For all the sparks that I stomped out
For all of the perfect things that I doubt
I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the times I never could"
Counting the graves there are so far twenty-nine of them. The trio worked virtually wordlessly with G41's hair and white dress stained in blood and dust. Yet the usually rabid Doll looked as if she didn't care she seemed both depressed yet happy.
"Oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh-oh
For all of the times I never could"
When the Commander's song had ended they had brought the graves total up to thirty-six. Thirty-six from this one area of the town. Smiling softly seeing the Commander rub G41's head and saying something I see her light up. Depressed still but positively happy getting praised and doing something good like what they've done. Shaking my head I take my leave silently to let them have this time together.
"This is S.A.T, I found the Commander, Pancake, and G41 they're currently having a moment after doing some very somber work. Tell the Townspeople that in the west area in what used to be a residential area there are thirty-six gravesites. I'll help Springfield cook some early dinner then we'll see what the Commander wants to do."
I'm honestly glad that G41 seems to be so relaxed and happy with those two. She's usually very lonely because of how she acts but she's found those who don't mind.