I lost everything and failed the people I love. I don't know how to come back from that. How to put on a brave face and pretend everything is fine. I feel like I'm constantly lying to everyone."She cried out to Adrien, hoping he would somehow understand what she meant.
If she could understand him, then maybe he would be able to understand what she was feeling too.
Once Marinette felt calm enough, she slightly pulled away from Adrien. He was looking at her in shock.
"What?" Marinette asked as she tried figuring out why he was staring at her.
Nothing in the world could have her for the words he was about to ask her.
"You're Ladybug?"
Marinette wasn't sure she could even process Adrien's words.
You're.
Ladybug
Was it that apparent?
"I um…I" Unsure what to say to convince Adrien she wasn't. Marinette stood up and backed away from him. Fear gradually began to creep up her body.
Merely following her nervous movement, Adrien stood up but didn't move from his spot.
Wanting to escape the room, Marinette withdrew another step back.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have asked or assumed that. You and ladybug seem to have a lot in common. Plus, with everything that happened last night…it's just Marinette. You are someone special to me, and I hate seeing you hurting like this."
Conspicuously avoiding looking at him, Marinette stared down at her feet. If her feelings for Adrien and Chat Noir weren't complicated, they would be now.
Marinette could feel the heat rising instantly in her cheeks.
"Let's just forget about this and get back to class. People are starting to wonder where we went." Adrien said as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Without another word, Marinette started walking towards the door, naturally wanting to escape the room as quickly as possible. As she placed her hand on the doorknob, Marinette felt Adrien grab her arm. Unable to look at him, she kept as still as possible and looked forward.
"Marinette, if you are Ladybug, I just want you to know that no matter what happens, you are the best superheroine ever to exist."
Time stopped as she processed the words Adrien had just spoken. The exact words the Chat told her last night. Couldn't he be Adrien? Could he?
Marinette gripped the knob hard, holding on to it like a lifeline. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop comparing the two. While there were many differences, they also had so many similarities. Chat's home life wasn't great, and neither was Adrien's. They had similar physical features.
Stop
Mentally shaking the thoughts from her head, Marinette opened the door and looked back at Adrien.
"Thank you, Adrien." Slipping through the door, Marinette slowly returned to the classroom.
She hesitated for a second before opening the door. Ms. Bustier had started the lessons for the day, so Marinette slipped into her seat without the rest of the class noticing.
"Girl, where did you go? Is everything okay?" Alya leaned over and whispered.
"Restroom, I had to use the restroom. I wasn't having an emotional conversation with Adrien. Nope totally wasn't doing that." Marinette whispered to Ayla as she was internally freaking out.
Both girls watched the door click close as Adrien made his way to his desk. Marinette looked down at her desk to avoid his gaze.
Looking back at each other, Ayla looked at Marinette questionably, wanting an explanation.
"I was overwhelmed with all the Ladybug talk, and Adrien found me. And now he may or may not think I am Ladybug." Marinette rapidly explained to her friend.
Ayla's eyes widened as Marinette explained what had occurred just minutes before.
"WHAT?!" Ayla yelled out.
"Ayla, Marinette! Do you have something to tell the class?" Ms. Bustier yelled out as she turned around to face the class.
"No." Both girls answered.
"Then please bring your attention to the board."
With the look Ayla was giving her. Marinette knew this conversation wasn't entirely over.
The rest of the school day until lunch was uneventful—a welcome distraction from the stress of being a superhero. The weights hanging on Marinette's shoulders felt lighter as the day went on. No one mentioned the events of last night for the rest of the day.
No longer was she thinking about how to get the Miraculous's back. The only thing that plagued her mind now was the similarities and differences between Adrien and Chat Noir. Every action he performed was another chance to compare the two.
No matter how hard she desperately tried to stop. The thoughts just continued coming. Even as everyone gathered in the lunchroom, she could help but observe every interaction Adrien had.
Twisting the plastic straw between her teeth, Marinette continued concentrating on him. Focusing on every unique movement he made as he talked with Nino on the other side of the cafeteria.
"Marinette," Alya called out to Marinette while seizing the empty glass from her."You need to stop staring at him."
Mentally shaking the last thought from her mind, Marinette turned in her seat to look at Ayla.
"Hey! I wasn't done with that!"
"From the loud noises that you have been making, you are. Now back to Adrien. Why are you watching him?" Ayla asked as she rested her chin in the palm of her hands.
"Ayla, I can't help it." Marinette sighed. " Ever since this morning, I can't help but see the similarities between Adrien and Chat. What if they are the same person?"
Letting out a laugh, Alya looked at Marinette in disbelief.
"I think the lack of sleep has finally caught up to you. There is no way Adrien, our shy innocent sunshine boy, is the Chat Noir."
"Maybe you are right, but earlier today, when we were in the locker room, Adrien used the same words Chat used last night to console me."Marinette could tell Ayla was still not convinced with her theory." he said, 'Marinette if you are Ladybug, I just want you to know that no matter what happens, you are the best superheroine ever to exist.' And Chat essentially said the same thing!"
Shaking her head, Ayla looked into her friend's eyes."Marinette, you are grasping at nothing here. I guarantee almost everyone in Paris, hell, maybe even the whole world, would say that Ladybug is the best. I think it's just wishful thinking. An easy solution to the problem of Adrien is possibly knowing your secret."
"I just don't know what to do anymore." Marinette laid her head down on the table and closed her eyes. Deep down, she knew that Ayla was wrong. She couldn't shake this feeling that they were the same person. Everything in her being was begging it to be true.
But could the world be that kind?
Marinette felt Ayla place a hand on her shoulder.
"That's why you have me. Even if I can't be a superhero anymore, I am still here for you in whatever way you need me to be."
Sitting back up, Marinette leaned back in her chair.
" I just feel that I need to know what Chat is. But it scares me so much. Knowing our identities is a huge risk, one I am not sure we should take."
"Maybe you should ask Chat what his opinion is?"Ayla asked.
Just last week, Marinette would have laughed at the thought of asking Chat if they should reveal their true self. But now, it seemed like the most logical thing. He was the last one standing beside her.
Letting out a small chuckle, Marinette shook her head.
"Just yesterday, we were fighting about knowing each other's identity, and now I am the one who wants to know."
"It sounds like you know what you need to do now," Ayla stated as she stood up.
The girls grabbed their trays and headed to put them away.
As the rest of the day went on, Marinette continued to watch Adrien. She knew he had noticed her, but she didn't care. She welcomed this distraction from her constant worry over the kwamis. Even though they were always in the back of her mind, Marinette knew it was too big of a problem to solve alone. This new development could be the answer to several more minor issues.
Peeping out from behind her book, Marinette let her eyes follow Adrien as he walked through the library shelves. Every time he would start to look her way, she would dip back behind and pretend to be reading. Looking back over the edge of the book, Marinette saw Adrien making his way over to the table she was residing.
Quickly flipping the page, Marinette stared down at the page in front of her. The words on the page looked like a jumbled mess. Marinette could only focus on one thing now: trying to look as calm and collected as she could.
She could feel her heartbeat faster as she saw Adrien's legs enter her view.
Marinette pleaded to whoever that he would just walk by and ignore her. She let the breath she was holding out as Adrien started to walk past her. She could feel herself begin to relax.
Adrien turned around, rested his hand on the table, and leaned over Marinette's shoulder to get a glimpse of what she was reading.
"What are you reading?" Adrien asked.
Letting out a small scream, Marinette quickly turned around in her chair. Her book flew up in the air, knocking on Adrien's head.
"OHMYGOSHADRIEN!?" Marinette jumped out of her chair. Her foot got caught on the leg of the chair, and following forward; she crashed into Adrien. Neither of them had a chance to process each other's movements as they both fell to the ground.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you like that," Adrien said.
Marinette couldn't process the words that he had spoken to her. All she could think about was how she was lying on Adrien Agreste in the middle of the school library. His hand rested peacefully on her back.
Adrien reached up and pushed a stray piece of her hair back behind her ear. For a split second, she felt like she was looking into Chat's eyes. Those green piercing eyes could get under her skin with a single look. Feeling the heat rising to her cheeks, Marinette quickly pushed herself off him and stood up.
"It's al-alright." Marinette started to stumble over her words. Taking a deep breath and trying to relax, she looked back at Adrien."I've just been kinda jumpy today."
"You're fine. I just can't help but notice that it seems like you have been watching me all day." Adrien said as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Marinette could feel her panic start to rise. How was she supposed to explain why she had been watching him? She couldn't tell him that she believed he was Chat Noir and that He had figured out her identity.
"OH yeah, that. I was just, see, um, I was just studying your new sweater. Your father did such a great job designing it." Mentally kicking herself, Marinette tried her hardest to look into his eyes.
"Thanks, but-" Adrien started to say, only to be cut off by the bell ringing.
"I got to go. See you around." Marinette called out as she quickly walked out of the library. She has never been more thankful to escape the presence of Adrien.
Marinette practically ran towards her next class. It might have been the first time she had been on time for her classes. Grabbing out her supplies from her bag, Marinette paused and thought about what class she was in.
No. It couldn't be.
The clock on the wall confirmed that it was indeed the last period of the day.
Math class.
As fate would have it, Adrien was in this class. He sat right next to her. Marinette internally screamed. She knew she wouldn't be able to make it through the course.
Grabbing her supplies in her arms, Marinette jumped out of her seat and rushed toward the door.
Getting lost in her worries, she didn't notice Adrien walking in. Marinette's shoulder grazed his causing the few items she held to leave her grasp. To say she was embarrassed was an understatement. Marinette would have been able to get over falling to Adrien and fleeing, but then running into him again. She would never be able to overcome this.
Quickly Marinette bent down and started to gather her things.
"We are going to have to stop meeting like this." Adrien laughed as he reached down to help pick up her scattered items.
Looking up at him, Marinette froze.
It was the catalyst that broke the dam. Images of Adrien as Chat and Chat as Adrien flashed through her mind. Quickly grabbing her things, Marinette fled from the room.
Marinette ran back to the bakery without caring about her academic studies. To the sanctuary of her room.
Marinette tossed her school bag to the ground and fell face-first into her chaise.
"Marinette, Is everything okay?" Sabine asked as she headed the stairs to check on her daughter. " School doesn't end for another hour left."
"My life is over. I can never leave my room again." Marinette over dramatically answered.
"Honey, I think that's a little dramatic." Sabine reached over and pushed back a few strains of Marinette's hair. "Move over and let me have a seat."
Grudgingly, Marinette sat up. Once her mother sat down, she laid her head on Sabine's lap.
Sabine continued to stroke Marinette's hair, hoping that it would bring her some comfort.
"Do you ever think you know someone but realize that there might be another side of them? A side is so vastly different that you can't even begin to imagine it's them?" Marinette asked.
"I think that's just a part of life. Everyone will act slightly differently depending on who's around." Sabine answered.
"But what do you do if they don't know you know about their other side? What if they don't know about the other side of you? Do you tell them? But what if you are wrong and that other side isn't them? What if they don't have the same feelings for the side you keep a secret?" Staring up at the ceiling, Marinette hoped her mother wouldn't ask for an explanation of what she asked.
"That's a lot of cryptic questions, sweety. I am not sure I have the answers to them. I think you will have to find the answers to them. But if someone's feelings are true, then they will love every side of you no matter what."
Marinette hummed in response to her mother. It wasn't clear, but Marinette felt like she knew the answer.
No matter who Chat was, she wanted to know who he was. Even if he weren't Adrien, she would be happy. She knew she would have two people who would always have her back.
"Thanks, Maman," Mairnette said as she hugged her back.
"Anything for you, darling. Now, please pick up this mess before dinner." Sabine said as she gestured to the papers dispersed throughout the room.
Marinette looked at the discarded papers that littered the floor. She felt overwhelmed just looking at it all. Even with the small plans, she had made last night, this problem was more significant than herself. She knew that she needed Chat more than ever before. Sitting down in the pile of paper, Marinette looked over at Tikki.
"You are right, Tikki. I need to know who is under the mask. Since this morning, so much has happened. I can't keep my priorities straight until I know who Chat is."
"Are you going to do it tonight?" Tikki gleefully asked.. Marinette looked at her friend with suspicion. Tikki knew something vital.
"I have to." It was an intelligent choice, a risk that she had to take. "Mamon is right. I will never know till I take the plunge."
Before she lost the little bit of found confidence, Marinette called her transformation. Grabbing her yo-yo, she quickly messaged Chat to meet at their spot. Snapping her yo-yo shut, Ladybug stared down at it. Memories of last night flooded her mind. Dread began to settle over her as the suit began to feel restrictive. Clawing at her chest, she tried to pull the cloth off her skin. The world slowly began to fade in and out as her heartbeat began to rise. The pressure on her head slowly traveled down her body.
"Spots off," Marinette's shakily whispered. Marinette grabbed her sweater in her fist and took a deep breath. And another until she could feel the waves of anxiety receding.
"Is this going to happen every time I transform?" Marinette pondered out loud.
"It's a normal response based on what happened. You have been through a lot." Tikki tried to reassure her. "You are strong, Marinette. You can't let this loss affect you anymore. I know you will get the Kwamis back. You will defeat Shadowmoth. You will win. "
"Thank you, Tikki." Marinette pulled Tikki close to her face, giving her a small hug.
No miraculous cure would fix her problems, but Marinette knew that she would get better with time.
Slowly she began to pick up the crumbled pieces of paper. Carefully she organized the documents into a fold to bring with her on the next patrol.
Time seemed to tick by slowly as Marinette nervously paced her room. She tried to fill her time with random sewing projects and studying, but her efforts for futile.
She found some peace while eating dinner. But once she was back in her room, all she could do was stare at the clock and overanalyze the outcome.
It felt like a lifetime had passed when Tikki informed her it was time. Jumping up from her spot Marinette climbed up to her balcony.
Mairnette felt alternating waves of relief and anxiousness. It was now or never.
"Spots on."
Marinette stood still as she took a few seconds to gain a sense of control. Feeling a sense of disquietude creep, she took a deep breath in.
"You are Ladybug. You can do this." Throwing her yo-yo out into the open sky, she headed towards their meeting place.
Landing on the rooftop, Ladybug watched as Chat looked out of the Paris skyline. The melody of him humming filled the air. Watching him was peaceful when he didn't know she was there. She could tell he was at peace in the silence of the night.
Feeling her presence, Chat turned around and flashed his signature smile at her. Her heart skipped a beat as she watched him get up and waltz over to her.
"My lady, what brings you here on the purr-fect night?" Chat rushed over to her. Grabbed her hand, placing a delicate kiss on her knuckles. It was like electricity flowed between them.
Ladybug gently pulled her hand away from him. " A certain alley-cat who can only flirt with lame cat pun. Have you seen him around?" She asked as she reached up and flicked his ridiculous gold bell.
"Me-ouch, My lady, you wound me." Chat noir dramatically grabbed his chest as he pretended to fall backward. "My puns are paw-tastic, and you love them."
"Keep telling yourself that." Walking to the roof's edge, Ladybug sat down and stared down at the street below.
Following her, Chat plopped down beside her. While the distance between them was no more than an inch, Ladybug felt miles away.
"What's the real reason you wanted to meet up?" Chat asked. She knew that he could feel the instant change in her.
"I think we should reveal our identities," Ladybug said. Even through her suit, she could feel the rough texture of the building cutting into her skin as she gripped the edge.
There was an awkwardness that settled in the air. The threat of something they are both desperately hopeful for made the tension between them tantalizing.
"Why now?" Chat asked reluctantly.
"Because you are right. And Tikki thought it was time we knew."
"And what about you? Do you want to?" Chat grabbed her hand. His thumb stroked her knuckles.
"Yes and no." Ladybug sighed. "I am just scared. What if I am a disappointment to you?" Her voice began to shake as she shared her worst fears with him. "You see me as the best superheroine to ever exist. Would you still love me if you see that I am just an ordinary girl with flaws, that I make mistakes, stumble over my words, and trip over nothing? Would you still want to be my partner?" Leaning back slightly, she looked into the open starry sky.
"Ladybug." Chat's voice carried weight like it was warning her to stop.
"Chat." She tried to match his demeanor.
"You know how I feel."
"But do I!" Ladybug stood up quickly and looked down at him. "You walk around saying how much I mean to you, but you don't know the real me. You don't know the problems I have faced, the things I have seen." Ladybug shuttered as those haunting blue eyes pierced her mind.
"So let me in. Please, let me help you." Chat pleaded as he stood up.
"How? How can I?" Her voice laced with trepidation. Ladybug leaned forward till her head was resting on Chat's shoulder.
Grabbing her into his arms, Chat slowly sunk to the ground.
"Do you trust me?" Chat asked, pulling her close to him, resting his chin on her head.
Ladybug buried her face into his chest, breathing in shakily. She could feel her heart begin to beat faster with the fear of what would happen.
"Yes," Ladybug said with voiceless breath.
"Plagg, claws in."
Her body started to tremble as a flash of green light surrounded them. Closing her eyes tighter, Ladybug grabbed onto Chat's arm, sinking deeper into his embrace that was so familiar. The tingling feeling of anxiety started to creep up her arms and into her chest. Feelings of cloudiness seeped into her mind, slowly inhibiting her ability to function. It was as if a weight had been set back down on her pushing her away from reality. The only thing keeping her in the realm of existence was the distant heartbeat of her partner.
"It's okay. You're safe." Chat's gentle voice cut through her wall of panic. "I promise I will keep my eyes closed. You can de-transform." His hands slowly and rhythmically stroked her back, trying to ease her pain away, drawing the same circles Adrien traced on her skin earlier that day.
Trust me
Those words repeated over and over in her mind. She wasn't even sure if she could trust herself anymore. Every decision weighed as much as the last. Each one could be the wrong move.
"I can't." Ladybug knew deep down that she wanted to know who he was with every fiber of her being. But the fear of knowing was holding her back.
"We don't have to see each other. Just keep your eyes closed, and I will keep mine closed. Just, trust me,"
Nodding her head, Ladybug took a deep breath in.
Trust.
"Tikki,"
Me.
"Spots off."
Pink light washed over her, taking her last barrier with it. With every strenuous second, she tried stopping her body from shaking with uneasiness.
Marinette tightened her grip on Chat's arm.
Chat continued brushing his hand along her back and
arm, whispering sweet comforts into her ear. His voice was a medley, relaxing every nerve in her system. Just maybe, she was right, and they could know each other. Maybe they already did.
Carefully she opened her eyes.
Marinette stared straight ahead, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness around them. The city lights illuminated the streets below. Everything felt like it had snapped into place.
She knew at this moment the answer she had been looking for.
"I want to know who you are," Marinette whispered.
She could almost feel the smile form on his face. Her heart started to flutter with the emancipation of it.
"My lady, are you sure? There is no going back after this."
"I have never been more sure in my life." Closing her eyes again, Marinette pulled away from Chat and turned to face him. " Can I open my eyes first?"
"Just promise you won't run once you see who I am."
She knew she would never run from him even if he weren't who she thought. Even if she were wrong, she would never leave Chat. He was her everything.
"Never." She could picture his Cheshire cat-like smile. The one that caused her stomach to flip.
Grabbing Chat's hand, she held on tightly to them. No matter what, it was them against the world.
Inhaling a deep breath, Marinette opened her eyes. It felt like sparks were flying around them. The energy in the air was almost palpable.
There he was, Adrien Agreste. One of her best friends, her crush, the one she wanted to be Chat. It felt like a fever dream. Never in a million years did she think he could be Chat. Sure she hoped and wished but for it to be true was just miraculous.
Laughing loudly, Marinette reached out and ran her hand through his hair. The incandescent glow from the street lamps lit his face up like he was the embodiment of pure sunshine. She continued to trace his features and joyously laughed. Marinette didn't care if he thought she was insane. Because for the first time in the last year, Marinette finally felt truly at peace. She knew that no matter what would help Adrien, they would defy the odds and win.
"No…I mean, yes…" Marinette paused for a second. This was the moment that would change everything. A moment she was sure she was ready for. " I am still nervous that you will be disappointed once you see the real me. That I will never live up to your expectations for me."
Electricity flowed through her as Adrien cupped her cheek with his hand. His thumb wiped away the few tears that leaked down from her eye. Marinette could feel a shiver run up her spine.
"No matter who you are, you will always be the girl I fell in love with. The one who truly understands me even though we don't know each other. I am sorry if I have ever made the girl under the mask feel like she wasn't perfect either." Adrien carefully opened his eyes and made contact with Marinette's. She felt like she had stopped breathing. All of her senses seem to stop working. The way his eyes glistened and twinkled with love made her feel almost complete. "Because Marinette, you are perfect."
Without hesitation, Marinette grabbed Adrien's face, pulling him toward her. Warmth bloomed in her chest as her lips met his, sending waves of electricity through them. Marinette felt Adrien stiffen at the shock. Slowly he began to relax. His hands trailed through the strands of her hair, almost begging her to come closer to him. Slowly he withdrew from the embrace. His half-open eyes lingered on her lips. Adrien pulled her closer to him; her body pressed against his. Marinette gasped as his lips captured hers again. Each hasty kiss left her yearning for more.
Breaking apart, they both let out a small nervous chuckle as they continued to look into each other's eyes.
Neither wanted to lose this moment. In the glow of the lights, time stood still as they sat there in the moonlight. And for just a few moments, everything was perfect.
Notes:
THANK YOU, EVERYONE. Thank you BurntWaffle for helping me figure this last chapter out, I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you ThatBlondeperson for being my cheerleader thought-out all of this. Thank you to everyone on my discord for listening to complain for the last three months about how I had to finish this. I can't believe it's done. I am finally free from the torment this story has caused me. I can stop thinking about it 24/7.
If you are looking for a place to hang out and talk about Miraculous, here is a link to my discord severe!
Discord