warning : mentions of suicide, dark thoughts, death, drinking, unsafe sex.

Days went By

When he died, her whole world crumbled and fell. Like nothing existed, like void was the only thought that'd eventually invade her head at the end of the day. Like her days lengthened to a width she couldn't imagine. They'd pass by, sun would rise and moon as well. But she allowed herself to remain in bed. Sometimes she'd drink more than she should've, and they'd check on her.

The silver-haired cleaned her place often, pushed her to take a shower. Dark circles gloomed her under eyes and the glimpse of pink delicately dressing up her cheeks was slowly disappearing in finger click.

They'd ask her if she was fine, she'd say she's moved on. But the souvenirs of one she had loved, stayed stuck in her head like a redundant pain. One that'd never let her go of a dreadful grasp. Of hatred, of sadness, of grief. They'd stay with her days long, send flowers, order food, so she wouldn't starve.

But nobody attempted to go further. And days kept on running. The sun would rise, but so would the moon, and, she'd desperately wish for an end to reach her. To end in hell if necessary, it was.

But days went by.

Days went by and they wouldn't stop. A dashing hit-and-run between despair and the grasp of a hint of life. Mera would even receive kind words from the puppy. Him who just joined the Shinra, no more than a trainee. She passed, he vanished. Nothing shined any more. Nothing enlightened her world, such as a mere illusion of what her life's been, could've done.

Days went by, and a day to another, she'd smile again. Sephiroth would stare strangely, worried if it'd be something darker than he could think.

That she had turned out suicidal, but no signs. Nothing except a gentle smirk that'd give him shivers down his spine. A drop of cold sweat, as well, every once in a while. She had gained weight again. Like nothing happened, but nobody was innocent. Not enough to not see the grey-ish tone in her pink eyes. Not even Genesis. God knew they weren't close, but even he walked to her place to read Loveless to appease the long days.

"Mera, you can't keep going like this. Talk to me, talk to us," almost begged Angeal, heartbroken at the sight of the woman who hypocritically kept on smiling.

Days went by, he'd repeat his phrase. Frenetically, almost recklessly. She wouldn't answer. The brunette didn't seem to care for the very least. She'd bring a guy every night, a new one she'd dump in the morning. They warned her about that, that it was dangerous and irresponsible. For her, as her job, as the ones that surrounded her.

Sephiroth even walked on one, putting his shirt back on. No need to say he cleared the way as quick as he entered it first. The best friends didn't talk about it, but the stormy orbs of the SOLDIER gave her a clue of what his thoughts were.

At some point, Sephiroth had to go. On a mission which would've last for a couple of months. Too many for his own taste, then he'd ask his colleagues to keep an eye on the TURK. Mera wouldn't work any ways. She turned off every single offer to the point it almost got her fired. Thank God, Reeve, and Veld helped to save her cause.

Days went by as much as a week, then she'd spent time to get herself ready. At the pleasure of both Genesis and Angeal, who sometimes stayed in her company in a peaceful silence. With a couple birds singing in the background.

"Are you doing better?"

"I'm fine."

But Mera realized she wasn't. And, so, as a consequence of her actions, she'd dig her own grave. Slowly turned her emotions down and nobody could enter this. That night, the moon rose high. So fucking high, that the thought of joining the stars went through her. Mera sardonically laughed out loud, which echoed loudly in the thousand-two-hundred-ninety-one square foot flat.

In her living room, the packs of diverse medicine laid on the dining table. They wouldn't know. Nobody would. The sleeping pills would make it painless.

The swallowing of alcohol… A bit less. But considering the dose of pills, that wouldn't last long. As she brought her hand full of death, resumed in zero point seventy-height inches of pills.

"Mera?" she heard after a first knock on the entry door of her place.

But she ignored it. The raspy and husky voice of Angeal resonated in her skull. He wouldn't know. He'd think she was asleep and come back on the morrow. Sleep, in which she'd be caught in forever. The length of a lifetime. An eternity, to be exact.

The woman waited for a moment. Minutes long. For him, to leave. But on the opposite of what she had thought, he almost broke the door and remained silent when he witnessed the scene in front of him. Mera Giswold wasn't somebody who ran away from her problems.

The TURK was more into finding a solution instead of pushing it further from herself.

He stayed here. Tall, straight, a tough gaze laying upon her figure. She would look at him too, fuschia orbs stuck upon the cyan blue of his. "I'm not fine," she admitted as she shook her head.

Mera remarked her bump in his mouth, the silhouette of his tongue drifting quick from a side to another in nervousness.

"Yeah, you tell me."

She ironically smiled in retaliation. In resignation of a combat she had already lost for so long. Angeal approached, like she was a wounded stray animal. She didn't move an inch away. She waited, immobile, like a leaf that had been walked on during a whole day. In a deadly silence, he put back the pills in their respective bottles. The facade Mera had put on, he didn't believe in it for a second. Instead, he investigated in a silence.

He prayed she wouldn't attempt this, that she wouldn't reach that limit. And he was ashamed of his imprudence. Of what he's done.

"Are you going to tell him?" she started.

Angeal tilted, stopping himself in his gesture.

"That wouldn't change anything, would it ?"

Mera shook her head again.

"No, that wouldn't."

"Then, what ? What do I do ? I leave it all as it is ?"

"No, because you won't do that. Would you?"

He chuckled, gloomily.

"No. No. I won't."

She quitted her seat. Still standing short compared to the giant who was invading her personal space. None spoke. None raised a word. Instead, the sounds of cars resonating downside, mystifying the scene. Shyly, she opened her arms and walked slowly towards Angeal, grabbing his torso with her last remaining of strength.

The man closed his eyes, murmuring to her to relax her core. To let herself fall. Mera did as she was told. The woman didn't try to resist. Her weight put upon his, his cheek remaining on the top of her head as he supported the frail figure of the TURK.

"Why don't you speak… Why you must reject us."

"I don't want it. I lost it all. My mom, my dad, my sister, and my brother. Victoria and I aren't close, she avoids me like I'm the Plague itself. I'm fucking tired of all of this, 'Geal."

To say he was good at comforting, was a lie. Therefore, he just had to let her express everything she hasn't told them in weeks. Days that went by. They remained on the cold flooring for a while. Until sun rose upon Midgar again. After she had fallen asleep on the ground itself, he lifted her and walked to her room.

After refreshing her face with a towel and bedding her correctly, he sat where she was previously. A vulgar plastic bag, containing the drugs, on the table. Thank Goddess he arrived in time. The gut feeling had been right. Again.

Angeal was lost. Desperately. He didn't promise he wouldn't tell a soul of what's happened. Genesis would irredeemably confess it to Sephiroth at some point. The latter would join Mera's boss, and then it'd get worse. A constance surveillance. She wouldn't like it. No doubt about that.

He cleaned everything up, brought back home the bag with him. Angeal wouldn't let her end herself.

And days went by.

He'd stay home with her. Cook, clean, take good care. He'd drive her to her appointments with the designed therapist he found. They'd grow closer and closer. And his feelings grew as time gone on and on. Angeal invested the guest bedroom. Mera would hug him every once in a while. Genesis didn't understand quite well their relationship. The redhead always had known how bad the General loved the TURK. But he kept it shut for her own sake.

"So, how's Mera?"

"Mera ? This isn't better, neither getting worse. I keep it in check, but the news aren't good about her lineage. I'm trying to reduce the damages, but she-…"

"—Had lost almost her entire family. I know. I discussed with Victoria today, in the pharmacy."

"Why would you even go there ? She works at the 2nd."

"You're not the only one talking and being close to a Giswold, brother."

Angeal sighed. Victoria wasn't his favourite one out of them all. He had barely known January. Through Mera and Sephiroth mostly, and Abel… Monitored him at best. During their raid to Wutai, but nothing personal was truly involved with the Giswold family. Genesis was rather secret with the ones he considered "girlfriends". More than a classic hook-up heading towards a one-night stand than a long-term arrangement.

"Did she talk to you about her sister?"

"Barely does. Victoria focuses on work, her family comes second. When she mentions Mera, it's often to diss her about how unworthy she is because she works with the TURKS."

"That's jealousy."

"And envy."

And days went by.

Genesis would continue to fuck Victoria Giswold, to give a sense to their relationship. To not make it pointless in the end. Sephiroth came back, without a scratch, as usual. And, Angeal remained in that gigantic flat of hers. Mera didn't go to the tower for a single damn. But tonight was different and the overall atmosphere was heavy whilst a thunderstorm growled over Midgar. In her bed, took a sip of her Gysahl beer whilst Angeal was sat near her position.

A book in his hand.

"C'moooon, give that up."

"Nope, I wanna finish it tonight."

"What is it, by the way ? Fifty tones of Corneo?"

"Oh, by the Gods, no."

They both burst in a laugh whilst Mera kept her eyes on the man's figure. She wouldn't deny he was handsome. Recently, the woman surprised herself, staring intensely on the man occupying her place. She didn't complain in the slightest. She then passed her head over his shoulder to read as well.

The art of gardening.

"That's true."

"What ? What is true ?"

"Since you're here, the few plants I have are glowing."

"I can tell you don't have the green hand."

She chuckled.

"You're right, I don't."

Her tipsy breath smashed his cheek, reflecting on Mera as well. But, before he could actually see it, the woman grabbed his beloved book. Surprised, Angeal pivoted towards Mera and tried to get back his book, but his weight had dragged him upon the TURK's figure. Stuck into each other's eyes, Angeal tried his very best to not wreck each bones of her being due to his weight. Nothing, not a single word escaped their lips.

An urge in him, an instinct he didn't want giving attention to, smitten his own will. Whilst Mera offered him a gentle smile that drove Angeal to the extreme edge of reasonability. He couldn't do this. They weren't together : it'd be taking advantage of her ; therefore disrespecting the woman he considered to be the closest to him.

"Do it," she whispered.

"No, I can't do this. That's not reasonable."

She cupped his cheeks between her hands, throwing the book on the side table in one gesture prior. "Who cares ?" she asked. Mera wasn't lying : who cared ? Nobody would know, except if one started to speak out. Which, she was certain, wouldn't happen without the other's consent. Angeal reflected her words.

Passing each day with her, overcoming her brother's death, helped considerably to make them grow close. They discovered their void and urge for comfort. To fix up the saddening lack of affection and attention, the two of them needed to be complete. To feel free.

"'Geal," she called back.

The SOLDIER gave up on any sense of control, his crawled on Mera's figure and smashed his lips against her in a dance that'd make soon his blood dash through his body right to his bulge. Which she felt instantly, smirking at the knowledge she triggered a reaction. It wouldn't be like her first time : tender and sweet. It was raging : violent ; she didn't want to make love : just to be numbed for a little while.

And the brunette followed as her heart spoke, sliding Angeal's shirt on his shoulders and then his head, Mera cripplingly swiped her fingers on the fresh skin that shivered due to the cold wind coming from the huge windows. Without a second thought, she brought him with her under the covers to warm his body.

Her assurance brought his. While any sense of smart thinking quitted his mind, Angeal twirled his fingers in circles onto her skin. Nobody would deny Mera was pretty with her thin waist, full chest and honey thighs. She combined everything he liked in his women. The ones he tended to fall for. Which, they both felt it, had been immensely effective.

"I don't want you to be tender," she murmured again.

That sole sentence switched an "off-on mode" to activated right away. The SOLDIER was uncertain : would he injure her in such a process ? He was heavy and muscular, she was frail and fragile. Grabbing his left thigh that he brought to his waist, a single stare gave him consent to undress the top that covered her breasts. Still caught in a bra that, due to transparency, didn't cover much.

Hiding his face in her neck, he kissed the line of her jaw to her neck until the gorge of her chest. Mera sighed, one that triggered further blood to run down there. His hands mechanically directed themselves to the clips of her bra to remove it. Both their tops naked, the sensation of her pink nipples had been like a heatwave through his silhouette.

Instinctively, he observed her figure. The slight gap between the breasts due to gravity and the beauty mark she had right between them. He was a SOLDIER : Mako made them last long. Way more than the usual, which was either a calamity or a blessing for some.

He chuckled mentally at that.

"You sure you want this ?"

Mera instantly thought of how thoughtful this was. How caring he remained despite in such a heated moment. "You don't know how much I want you right now."

Angeal's lips turned upwards. Pursuing in his quest, kisses laid on Mera's fresh skin until the limit of her shorts he discarded as well.

The man's fingers grabbed a breast that he tortured for a while, whilst the other obtained a rather tender treatment consisting of showing it enough love. Then, vice versa, and all Mera recognized was a familiar sensation between her legs. A lewd one.

Timid for nothing in this world, Mera unbuckled the belt of Angeal in a finger click, throwing it on the right side of the bed and dragging the large training pants down. The ones she always sees him wear. The TURK didn't know how many he possessed, but the thought was quickly brushed off by Angeal exploring her mouth with his tongue.

The grip on her waist intensified as the friction between their bodies intensified, smart moves made him quit his lower cloth and now the uncovered skin of their legs encountered. Although their interaction was passionate and rather going on a fast pace, there was nothing perverse in it.

Like a genuine mark of affection. Just as it was, in the end.

As much she wanted him to press himself, not bearing with the rubbing of her crotch to his any further, the SOLDIER decided to ignore it. He wanted to take his time. Not just jumping on her, finishing and forgetting a day after. It wasn't him.

It wasn't who he was.

His fingers swung to the delicate thighs again, playing with the seams of her underwear underneath the shorts, he repeated the same treatment as she did with his trouser. Moans went heard in the room, talented fingers dancing upon a shaved area that would bring them both to heaven soon enough to even dare so to speak.

"Are you really sure about this ?" he asked again.

Mera kissed him deeply, smiling as her lips laid on his. Understanding the silent message of the latter, Angeal gently passed the legs of the woman around him. The dark-haired man hesitated for a second : would it hurt her ?

Was it better to be rough : to go in all one ? Or slowly in a feral agony ? Without any further foreplay ?

In a push, a long moan escaped her lips. One of satisfaction. Of a numbing pain that'd soon dig farther in the other, she had felt days long. Each of his thrust sent her a bit more on the edge of a carnal catatonia. She climbed on top, then under, then on the borders of the bed. Maybe Mera would think about the bed slats. But not now. She brushed off the loud cracking sound due to Angeal strength.

The latter would see on the morrow the traces of his actions. Perhaps that'd be a mistake, perhaps that'd be their felicity, their step forward, a new haven. His teeth encountered her skin, causing several bruises that'd soon turn purple-ish to red, her waist covered in marks of fingers grip upon the light flesh of Mera Giswold.

He didn't care about safety at this moment. His thoughts were somewhere else, on the silhouette of this woman whom he was fucking the pain away from her.

And Mera liked that.

Angeal's back was now covered in nail prints due to the constant scratch, from the thrusts in her interior. Which were tightening progressively around the object of her rise to heaven. Growls, moans, sighs. All in one combined as Angeal's body fell on the side of the bed to not smash hers.

His forehead was covered in sweat, but so was Mera's whose hair was now wet. Wet in disgrace and the felony of fornication. None said a word, just a stare.

They'd put this on tomorrow's back. Fatigue overwhelmed the man and the woman, and soon would Morpheus invest the minds of the young people laying on the mattress.

Days went by.

Since then, the topic hadn't been brought for the simple reason they kept on doing this for a little while. A month of so. Eating together, going out, fucking and falling asleep. Angeal would teach her every once in a while how to take care of his plants. Since then, Mera seemed to walk on the path to feel better. Drastically. To the point, even Sephiroth and Genesis wondered what kind of wonders Angeal had done to change the situation.

But, of course, he wouldn't tell.

It was their haven.

Days went by, and, Angeal Hewley fell a little more in love with Mera Giswold as time continued its track. He was her plaster, her cure to the unfortunate events that destroyed her mind. Although, she definitely admitted she liked Angeal more than a friend.

But saying it, would break it all.

"I just thought…" he started as he swallowed his glass of water. "When we… did it the first time. We made a mistake."

"What do you mean?" she immediately answered.

"It was unsafe. And it's on the antipodes of what I want for you. For us. I know we're both… clean."

Mera gently smiled, understanding what he was about right away. His shy smirk gave her a more descriptive hint.

"Are you talking about becoming a dad, Angeal Hewley?"

He chuckled back, but more embarrassed than actually taking the topic slightly.

"More than less. Let's say."

"I wasn't stupid. I did what was necessary the day after. And everything's alright."

Reassured, Angeal gifted her of a pluck on her lips accompanied by a forehead one while The door smashed against the wall. A Genesis and Sephiroth appearing underneath. Mera and Angeal tilted their heads at the direction of the newcomers. The four surprised to see one another.

"Can one of you answer to their damn cellphones?!" almost screamed Genesis.

"You sent something ? We're both off work. They ain't on," justified the brunette.

Truth was, when Angeal was at home, they'd voluntarily turn their cellular down. Just not to cause an accident.

Sephiroth laughed at the ridicule of their ginger friend and sent a glance towards Mera who didn't do much but the very same. The silver was suspicious, but kept it to himself. If he was right, he wouldn't approve at all. Both Angeal and Mera tried their best to keep the secret shut between one another.

"It's good to see you're doing better, Mera."

And days went by.