Hinata is aware of the exact moment Sasuke pulls away from her sleeping form. She doesn't give away her state of alertness; waiting until he's left the room before she opens her eyes. It's better this way – less awkward.
In the darkness of the windowless room, there is no way to know what time it is, but from the way her eyes water, she doesn't think she's been asleep for more than a few hours. She shifts to the side of the bed where her companion slept, savouring the shadow of warmth he left behind.
When she next awakens, it's not due to the sound of birds chirping nor sunlight peering through a window; it's the sound of a door creaking closed that disturbs her slumber.
Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she waits for her vision to adjust. The dim light from the hallway reveals the room untouched except for a plastic bag situated on the sole wooden chair in the room. With effort she rolls out of the hard, but comfortable bed to inspect what was left for her discovery.
Hinata cautiously places her fingers against two, round styrofoam containers in the plastic bag. Both were warm to the touch; one slightly taller than the other. With care she moves them to the table, then rummages through her travelling bag to locate her wristwatch.
It was just after eleven in the morning. She slept for about six hours, more than her body allowed these past few weeks, but she still feels exhausted. However, she doesn't return to bed as it's probably best to stay awake and alert for Sasuke's return. She still has no idea why she was brought to Sound.
After brushing her teeth, and dousing her face with cold water, she returns to the table to the hand delivered meal.
Her stomach grumbles viciously, but the hunger pangs do little to stimulate her appetite. Still, she forces several spoonsful of warm, salty miso soup from the smaller container. Slowly she chews on the tiny pieces of soft tofu and green onions, while absentmindedly wiping away the beads of condensation of the foam lid. The meal is barely finished when she places the lid back on. She peeks at the contents of the larger container; ginger rice and curry. She decides to ration her food by saving this heavier meal for later, not knowing when Sasuke will be back.
The rest of the day is spent seated on the wooden chair, pacing back and forth or lying on her back while staring at the blank ceiling. Her thoughts are on Naruto nearly every second of her time alone. Emotions ranging from outright fury to abysmal grief. She prefers drowning in the former; anger numbs the pain. It's easier to hate than to let go of love. Yet it's against her nature to be angry. And eventually her anger subsides to justification of the betrayal – ultimately rounding back to pain and agony.
After six in the evening, fatigued at fighting against the bleakness of her inner ramblings, Hinata searches for a distraction. She returns to the wooden desk in the room and pries open the storage drawer.
She finds parchment paper, ink brushes, books on medical ninjutsu, advanced chakra control and even a few literary classics. She removes a novel titled 'Snow County.' A review on the back of the hard cover claims it to be a story of wasted love set amid the desolate beauty of western Japan. She hums in understanding; she knows a thing or two about wasted love. She tucks it under her arm for later reading.
Hinata is not a prying person by nature. Growing up with a clan who can see through walls, she understands the importance of personal privacy. It's why she hasn't busied herself with investigating the hidden areas of the room. Invading someone's personal privacy in such a crude manner, goes against who she is as a person. So, there is some guilt in rifling through this storage drawer, but she isn't seeking out personal information on Sasuke's life. She is only seeking a distraction.
Content with the novel she found, she gently pushes the drawer inwards but it gets jammed and doesn't budge. She shimmies the draw gently at first with no success, with a little more force she tries again, shaking the entire wooden frame. A few pens and ink bottles roll forward, followed by a stack of letters tied together neatly with a string of twine. The handwriting on the topmost letter is one she knows by heart. With all the force her frail body can summon; she slams the drawer shut as if running to safety from an intruder.
Back on the bed, with her body shielded by the blanket, she opens the novel. She skips past the introduction, moving to chapter one. She reads sentence by sentence. Flips from page to page. The words written in her mother tongue are incomprehensible. The letters, sentences and paragraphs are blurred together; indecipherable as an ANBU coded message.
Unable to escape her curiosity, she approaches the desk.
The door easily glides open and the letters are the first items to grab her attention. They beckon her, pleading for her attention.
She doesn't return to the bed with the stack. She needs to set boundaries within these four walls. The bed is her refuge. She can't allow physical reminders of her pain to enter that sacred space. Sasuke's presence contradicts this, but it's something she has little control of.
She traces her fingers over the wafer-thin paper. Smudges at the edges tell her that the contents of the letters have already been revealed to its intended.
She starts at the top. The letter is dated several months after the war.
Today is the first morning waking up without you next to me. It feels like a nightmare. I can barely eat or drink. Please tell me you're coming back soon.
I miss you.
Yours forever, Naruto.
Her hands shake as she lays the read letter to her right and continues to the next.
It's been one month since you've been gone. Twenty-nine days since I wrote to you. Why won't you reply? Are you well? Where do you sleep at night? Are you eating enough?
I dream about you every night. Please take care of yourself.
Yours forever, Naruto.
Hinata closes her eyes and tries to quiet the jealousy brought on by the declarations of love through written word. She knows she should stop, that she is only inflicting torture on herself, but for reasons unknown to her conscious mind, she re-opens her eyes.
The next letter is dated three months from the previous.
Today I attended Sakura's graduation ceremony. She's finally a full-fledged operative medical nin. She was beaming. I thought it was because of her achievements, but I should have known better. It was because you finally replied to her. I saw your note to her. It was only one word, but it's still more than I received since you left. I thought maybe you just needed time away from Konoha, maybe you were busy on a mission from Kakashi-sensei. But I think you're just pushing me away, and I don't know why.
After everything we have been through and all the progress we've made, I still feel as if I am that little, twelve-year-old boy watching as his best friend walks out of his life.
Tell me to fuck off, Usuratonkachi. Tell me that I'm being irritating. Tell me anything.
Just tell me you're well, Sasuke.
Yours forever, Naruto.
Quickly, but carefully she skims through five or six more letters, which are mostly focused on mission accomplishments and general news around the village. While the contents are mostly mundane, the tone changes from longing to impartiality. She wants to believe that maybe the love between them died in transit, but she knows that somewhere along the line their romance was rekindled.
The places those in the stack of read messages, and begins to read the next. This one is dated a year from the very first letter and is more creased at the edges than the rest. Taking this as a sign of how often it's been read, Hinata wearingly begins reading.
One year, Sasuke. An entire year went by and I haven't heard from you. I've gone through countless of reasons for why you might have made this decision. Did I guilt you into being with me? Did you misunderstand your feelings for me? But none of these reasons make sense, because you came to me on your own. I force myself to remember this, as it's the only thing that gets me through the night. I have to remind myself that I didn't push my love and affection on you.
Whatever your reasons, I guess it's time I respect them. As hard as it may be, I have to move on. I will always love you and will always be here for you. But you've made it clear that our relationship doesn't extend beyond friendship or brotherly love. And one day I will be okay with this. I will be okay with it because it's what you need and what will hopefully make you happy.
Your happiness is everything to me. I hope you know that.
Be well, Sasuke.
Your friend and brother, Naruto.
A tear drop smudges her husband's signed name. Hinata brings her fingers to her eyes, surprised of the water pooling below her lash line. Even after being betrayed, her heart isn't hardened to the point where she can't sympathize for her husband's previous sorrows.
She dabs the wet area of the letter with the ends of the bed sheet, then prepares herself to continue. Hoping to find a clue as to what led them back in each other's beds. There are only two letters left.
The second to last letter is dated three months after the battle with Toneri.
"Two years, Sasuke. Do I sound like a broken record?
Don't worry, I'm not writing this letter to moan about your lack of communication. I should have known better. You're a bastard after all.
I'm actually writing to thank you. I heard of what you did for Hiashi. It means a lot to me. Not just because he's someone of importance to Konoha, but because he's the father of someone dear to my heart.
I've fallen in love, Sasuke. It came out of nowhere. I think she loved me since we were kids, but I was too blind to notice, or maybe just too focused on you to see anyone else. A part of me wishes I noticed her affections sooner, but at the same time I don't want to erase the precious moments we shared.
Being with you and losing you so quickly, taught me the importance of fighting to hold onto the ones we love. Maybe if I fought harder to travel with you or convinced to you to stay, things may have turned out differently. But that's the past and we have both moved on.
For the first time in my life, I feel loved to my core. Her love is unconditional. She doesn't love me for any other reason than me being me. I've finally found my home.
I hope you're happy as I am, and I only want the best for you – love included. You deserve it.
Your friend and brother, Naruto.
The final letter is not in the same handwriting as the other. Not one that she's familiar with. It's written a week after Naruto's last letter.
Congratulations.
Yours forever, Sasuke.