(A/N: So, after a long time, I'm finally putting an end to the Steven Universe saga of reviews. And, unlike other times, I'm sure that there won't be a rant about any of the character arcs or story{Because these games are never referenced at all, besides a cameo from Hessonite in one episode, and that never get brought up again}, so there's nothing about the game that can set me off. Plus, I had played all three games and actually enjoyed them, so there's that fact as well.

Anyways, onto the review. Hope you enjoy the chapter. Please leave a comment or review for this chapter and the entire work so far, letting me know what you like about it and what I can do to improve it. And, like before, I'm taking some recommendations for reviews. Please read the author's note from the previous chapter to know more.

P.S. Trigger Warning: mention of abuse of any kind. If you are uncomfortable about the topic{I am as well, but felt like I need to discuss it to mention why I get angry at the Pink Diamond hatred}, then skip the part. I'll mention the part for you to skip over if you don't want to read.)


A trio of glowing dots looked at the readers.

Critical Mew, looking for you

The glowing dots split into the Legendary Titans(excluding Regigigas). Andrew stood in the background, annoyed about being in the background.

Critical Mew, where are you?

The Critical Mew flies in, wearing a trench coat and a hat, giving the readers a wink.

Come on, Mew, where you been?

The Critical Mew took off the trench coat and used Transform, becoming a king, a dame with blonde hair, a waiter and an Elvis impersonator.

Trouble's on the loose again

A mysterious figure showed up, trying to crush Mew with a sandbag, only to narrowly miss. He looked behind him to the embodiment of stress, who proceeded to chase him to a door of things to review, which began to do the Thriller hip movements.

(Mew)

They're not gonna get you

(Critical Mew)

The Legendary Titans went in a protective circle in front of Mew, protecting him.

Uh uh, the Regi Trio's gonna help you

(Mew)

Mew was in a barrel full of toys, deciding to peek out only for the floor to break under him, causing him to grab a loose floorboard with his tail.

Ooh, the comment's gonna be there

Registeel jumped on the floorboard, launching Mew into the air. Regice and Regirock caught Mew in their arms. Regieleki and Regidrago let out a sigh of relief. Andrew was standing off to the side, pretending not to care, despite the fact he does.

And Andrew too

The Critical Mew floated past Lavender Town, only for the ghost of Marowak to appear, scaring him away.

Critical Mew, looking for you

Mew was surrounded by loads of Ghost and Dark-Type Pokemon, all about to ambush him.

Critical Mew, where are you?

Only for Andrew to fly a helicopter with a huge net, using said net to grab the Dark and Ghost-Type Pokemon. Andrew held up a sign that said, 'I never liked Steven Universe and I'm okay with it'.

Mew, Critical Mew

Mew

The stuff to be reviewed danced once again, doing the Thriller hip moves.

Critical Mew

Mew

A pair of eyes zoom out, showing Mew, Andrew and the Legendary Titans with the Tree of Beginning in the background.

Critical Mew!

The Critical Mew-Season One

Episode 16: Steven Universe Light Trilogy


Tree of Beginning-Kanto Region

"How come the only good thing that came from this franchise are the games that never get referenced? Thus, as the fandom would say, it is non canon?" Mew asked, taking a sip of Berry Juice from his cup.

"Because the story is good?" Regice asked.

"Because the character designs are better?" Regieleki asked.

"Is it because you get to beat up random monsters?!" Registeel shouted.

"Is it because it's an RPG?" Regirock asked.

"Tis might be because there's no hate for the one dubbed Pink Diamond?" Regidrago asked.

"All of the above!" Mew replied, causing all of the Regis to sigh in relief that he wasn't going all Primeape right from the get-go.

"Now, before I get to reviewing the games, I think it's time I reveal the reason why this franchise is considered one of my most disliked pieces of media.


(A/N: As mentioned in the author's note, this part has mention of abuse in any kind. If you're uncomfortable with the subject, then skip this entire section altogether to the next section listed in the next author's note.)

"As you all know, I am a Pink Diamond fan. Yet, when the show was reaching its end and we got shown all of Pink's flaws, both as Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz, people started claiming that she became the worst character ever. Doesn't help when we get to see what happens with Spinel and those bubbled-up Rose Quartzes.

"Yet, the other three Diamonds, who committed much worse crimes than Pink, were redeemed, and people felt sympathy for them because of what Pink did. Mainly, starting a war against them and faking her own death, thinking that since they don't care about her at all and being wrong about that.

"Regardless, I am still a Pink Diamond supporter. Now, I know what you're thinking. What does this have to do with the reason why I hate the franchise? Well, it's simple: I don't like how we're hating an abuse victim for not sticking with the abuse while redeeming her abuser. Yes, abuser as in singular.

"I know Blue and Yellow also were abusive, but they needed to be told and shown, respectively, what they had done, and they had regrets over it. Heck, they didn't know Pink was still alive when they, along with White, used the Corrupting Song, which they thought was going to kill any and all Gems on Earth. And since they had regrets over it, it allowed them to finally rebel against the one who started the abuse: White Diamond.

"I don't get why she even was redeemed. She didn't have any remorse for what she did. She knew Pink was alive the whole time and didn't tell Blue and Yellow, all just to punish Pink for daring to be happy without her and to punish those two for not being 'strict enough' when it comes to her usual shenanigans, which was the only reason they allowed her to be a Diamond, by the way. Heck, she didn't even apologize for everything, her 'redemption' came from realizing that she was flawed, not the fact that she had any remorse for the abuse she had done to Yellow, Blue and Pink.

"Yet she gets redeemed, and what does Pink get for doing the right thing? For leaving her abusive life and being happy for once? Something that took her years to get, and she feels regret because of the lives lost due to the war?

"Nothing but hate for actions that she took without thinking, for getting away from the abuse. Well, guess what, people? Of course she would do that. Every time she tries to prove her intelligence to her family, they tell her to keep quiet and let them do the thinking for her.

"Heck, when it comes to the abuse, do we sympathize with the abuser or the victim? Because nine times out of ten, we sympathize with the victim. I would say ten times out of ten, but given how we threw hate on Pink Diamond, an abuse victim at the hands of White Diamond, I can't say that, now can I? And to be honest, I'm disgusted by the hatred for Pink Diamond for that, yet we can redeem her abuser, and the abuser of her sisters, just because White realizes that she is flawed.

"Heck, redeeming White Diamond is like saying that she is right to abuse Pink, Yellow and Blue. Oh, wait, Serena Valentino did the same thing in Cold Hearted. You know, the book about Lady Tremaine's reason for abusing Cinderella. The reason is Cinderella's father abused Lady Tremaine and her kids, which is already Tauros crud, but then Cinderella unknowingly ruined Lady Tremaine's plan to leave the abuse, so after killing Cinderella's dad, Lady Tremaine decided to abuse Cinderella for that.

"Which, sorry, but no. Just, no. You can't just say someone is okay to abuse anyone just because of that. Yet, since that is now 'official', I can't read that book, because who would read something that basically tells a reader, 'Oh, you okay to abuse a child if they ruin your plan of escaping a toxic and abusive relationship.'? Easy answer, you can't. Yet, I have to bring this up to help explain why hating Pink for doing the very thing people advise a victim of an abusive relationship to do, yet redeeming White Diamond, the abuser of the relationship, is not right.

"And before I get told that I'm overreacting, then tell me this: can anyone defend White when she said this about Pink, to her own son?" Mew asked.


White Diamond: Poor Yellow. Her impurities absorb all the blue in her light. She's so strong...! But so weak when it comes to Blue. Ah, and Blue, her impurities soak up all of the warmth in her spectrum. She thinks she needs you, Pink. As for me, I'm certain I don't need you. After all, I'm every color of the light. *gets wistful* But you're a part of me; the part I always have to repress.


"Or how about the time where she finally took credit for all the abuse she's done? You know, during the moment in 'I Am My Monster' where Greg, the Gems, Spinel and the Diamonds had a Diglett-measuring contest to try and decide which of them caused Steven the most amount of pain and PTSD. In my previous review, I mentioned it was funny because of the way she did it. However, looking back on it, she didn't do it out of genuine remorse, after all, she had 3 years to apologize for that. No, she only did it because Spinel was trying to one-up everyone with her plan from the movie." Mew said.


Spinel: *crying* *blows nose* This is my fault! *sobs loudly*

White Diamond: *crying* Spinel! Don't be silly! Everyone knows that all of this is because of me!

Spinel: NO, it's because of ME! I tried to wipe his friend's memories so he could die alone on a barren world!

White Diamond: *crying* But that was because you were angry with Pink, and if Pink hurt you, it was because I hurt her! Like I hurt Yellow, and Blue, and Steven, and everyone in the entire universe! *sobbing* This is all my fault!


"She literally made the whole thing about herself and needed to be told by Connie, someone who's younger than her, by the way, to shut up, stop thinking about herself and help Steven. …Okay, that applied to everyone during that situation, but for someone who's finally 'admitting' they're at fault, White sure did a lot of sitting around and doing nothing but crying.

"Heck, her powers didn't even change after she got 'redeemed'. In fact, she still has mind controlling powers, the only difference is the target and purpose of it. Heck, all it did was force Steven to confront the fact that he had a part of himself that he didn't want to accept, when all he needed was comfort.

"And before anyone tells me that part of life is about confronting that part of oneself that one may not want to accept but need to in order to move on, no, they don't. A person can go on with life without knowing, or if they do, they don't confront it and they're fine with it. At least Blue and Yellow's powers, post-redemption, actually benefits people and Gems wanting to feel better or be physically better.

"White just puts people in a position that they don't want to be in, and given her entire history, they can't say no out of fear for what she'll do, especially since she can easily change back to her tyrannical ways.

"As for the whole Spinel thing, yes, Pink did leave Spinel behind. I'm not denying that. But to claim she did it on malicious intent is wrong. For all we know, she could've left Spinel behind for her safety. And the reason why she can't go back is because the garden is under Homeworld's watch. Or, even better, maybe Spinel showed off the same traits she had in the movie, and Pink decided she can't deal with it anymore, hence why she left. There's so many reasons, but choosing the one that doesn't fit Pink is wrong." Mew explained, taking a deep breath.

"To summed it up in a nutshell, Pink and her sisters were abused, yet White gets away with it because she's flawed and that's her apology, yet Pink gets hated for being happy without her abuser, yet have to suffer with the mistake that she gotten majority of the Gems on Earth corrupted and she couldn't restore them back to normal. When did the world get messed up that we throw the abuse victim under the bus and the abuser comes out with a slap on the wrist and no serious punishment?" Mew asked in a somber tone.

"And then there are fanfictions that take place during 'Change Your Mind' and after that episode don't have White Diamond being redeemed. Because, in all seriousness, why would anyone redeem a narcissistic, genocidal tyrant who could outright claim that she gets to control everyone and everything because she's 'perfect' in every way possible?"


(A/N: Skip to here to avoid the trigger warning section above.)

After taking another deep breath, though, Mew's somber expression changed into a relieved one. "However, I remembered these games after my previous review, and I'll admit, I had a blast playing through all three games. I can even say that they're the only parts of the franchise, besides Pink Diamond and the redemption for Blue and Yellow, that I actually enjoyed." Mew admitted with a happy smile.

"Starting with Attack The Light, which takes place during Season 1 and was released in 2015. The game is short, simple and has one objective: beat up the Light Creatures. In short, your normal Saturday Morning Cartoon. Wish we could have those back without the story-driven plot. Or, in the words of my fellow reviewer,"


Caddy: I WANT THIS ON MY PLAYSTATION!


"Since we don't have a PlayStation, however, we have to make do. Hence why the co-star left his small T.V./VHS player combo," Mew said, pointing at said T.V. set.

"Is that a note on there?" Regirock asked.

In response to that, Mew grabbed the note, lit it on fire, then held his paw open, letting the wind scatter the ashes. "Don't read it," he said calmly, ignoring the shocked expressions on the Regis. Well, except for Registeel. He had a look of abject disappointment there.

"But what if it was blackmail material?!" he asked.

"That's for me to know and for all of you to never learn," Mew said. "Anyways, remember how I said that these games aren't canon since they're not referenced by the show? Well, here's the biggest reason why I say that, and it's in the intro for the first game." Mew said.


Steven: *Playing a game on his tablet* This RPGs is amazing. I'm gonna play non stop until I beat this game. *The Crystal Gems return via Warp Pad* Never mind. The gems are back. *Throws tablet to the side and walk over to the Gems*

Garnet: *Holding the Light Prism* Hello, Steven.

Steven: What is that? *Points at Light Prism*

Pearl: This is an ancient gem weapon. In the hands of the powerful gem. It could be used to command an entire army of light.

Steven: Cool. Can I see?

Pearl: Oh, no. Absolutely not. It's very dangerous. Well, in the hands of the powerful gem anyway.

Amethyst: But, in the hands of Steven. Eh, not so much.

Steven: Yeah. Me, no powerful.

Garnet: Alright. *Hands the Prism to Steven* Be careful.

Steven holds the Light Prism with his hands. Suddenly, the Prism activates, creating a giant red Light Creature.

Pearl: *Summons her spear* Steven, stay back.

Steven shakenly nods his head. Garnet rushes forward with her gauntlets summoned and punches the Light Creature. Soon, the Light Creature split apart into seven different colors, branching off and heading to different parts of the world.

Pearl: Oh, no. Now the light is light creatures are loose in the world. We must work together to track them down and return them to the Prism!

Steven: Four heroes. Teaming up for a magic adventure. This is the greatest RPG ever! *Holds the empty Prism over his head in a dramatic pose, the Crystal Gems standing behind him*


"As stated, only a powerful Gem could activate the Prism. And given that the sequel games reveal that the Prisms were created by the Diamonds to be given to Gems they deemed powerful, that would've been a hint that Rose was Pink Diamond. Heck, even now, when people make videos showing all the signs that Pink and Rose are the same being, they never used this game as proof, thus helping my case that this isn't canon.

"But besides that minor complaint, I still enjoy this game. What can I say about this game besides it's your standard RPG? It has hidden treasures, enemies you can beat up, level grinding, Diamond Mode, which is a hard difficulty for those who have already beaten the game before, like me, and was a new update in the late 2010s, and new skills you can gain.

"You can also use Fusion in this game. Unfortunately, you can't play as Alexandrite throughout the entire fight. But at least you get to see a really giant woman beat up small, dangerous creatures.

"And, in true Steven Universe fashion, Steven manages to convince the Light Prism to stop attacking anything. Usually, I roll my eyes at this, but since this is a homicidal Gem or just any Gem who hates Pink for 'shattering' herself, I'll take it." Mew said.


Light Gem: Master...

Steven: You don't have to fight.!

Garnet: Steven...

Steven: I know you're fighting for me! But you don't have to! You don't have to be a weapon!

Light Gem: What... Do you want... Me to be?...

Steven: Whatever you want! YOU CAN BE ANYTHING!

The battle ends as the Light Prism starts to break apart in bursts of light.

Steven: I believe in you!

The Crystal Gems, disheveled from the fight, held up their weapons in preparation for round 2. However, the Prism was engulfed in light. When the light faded, it revealed Prism's new form: a Light Steven. Soon, multiple Light Stevens started popping up, filling up the room. The Crystal Gems smiled with relief and joy as they sent their weapons back into their Gem space.

Garnet: Good job, Steven.

Steven: (Laughs)


"See, Steven Universe franchise. You are capable of making happy endings without it feeling cheesy or forced or even a joke. No, I'm not over 'A Very Special Episode', and I won't ever be.

"Anyways, we get to the sequel, Save The Light, which takes place sometime during Season 4 and was released in 2017 for consoles.. This game begins with Steven giving Connie a recap of the previous game, which I would expect him to do in an episode all the way back in Season 1." Mew said thoughtfully.


Steven: (Narrating) Long ago... There was a powerful weapon. A Prism that could create entire armies of light. It was really bad news. But then, one day, the Prism was lost! Never ever to be found again... Until it was! By four brave adventures! That's us! Garnet. Amethyst. and Pearl... ...and ME! The Crystal Gems! But we accidentally unleashed the light inside! Wuh oh! So we traveled all over the world to retrieve each color. It was a really great adventure! Just when we thought our quest was over, the light turned into a really big, bad, monster... Rawr, let's fight! But I told it "We don't have to do this! You don't have to be a weapon! You can be anything you want to be!" And then, it didn't want to fight anymore! Its shape started to change, and suddenly it became... ...ME! And that's the story of my great Prism adventure, and how I met this dashing fellow... Light Steven!

Connie: Wow... so cool...


"However, the fun times end when the Light Prism leaves for some reason. Might have to do with the giant ship that destroyed the car wash Greg worked at. …You know, I wonder how much insurance Greg has to cover the damages done to the place by holographic rock ladies?" Mew asked.


Greg: Um, giant spaceship? If you're gonna land, maybe you could move a skosh away from the… *Strange ship ignores Greg's words and lands on the car wash, destroying the entire building, causing the immediate area around it to be bathed in a orange light* AHHH!

Steven: CAR WASH! NOOOOOO!

The top of the ship opens, turning into spotlights shining in the middle. Soon, a platform rose up, allowing Hessonite to stand in the spotlight, her back turned to Steven, Greg, Connie and the Light Prism for the moment. Then she teleported right in front of them, standing on a portion of the destroyed car wash.

Hessonite: Ah, the Earth. Did you miss me? Now, let's see, where is… *Spots the Light Prism* Ah! THERE you are!

Steven: Eep!

Hessonite: I could feel it! Who activated you? They obviously don't know you're still mine. *Flaps her cape open with an air of smugness and superiority* Get over here! *The Light Prism, retracting the Light Steven it created, floats over to her as commanded, the Light Steven reappearing next to her* My stars. You look absurd! Let's get you out of that shape post haste. *Starts to forcibly retract the Light Steven back into the Prism*

Steven: Hey! No! Who are you and why are you doing this? Leave him alone!

Connie: *Glaring at Hessonite* Yeah! He doesn't want to go with you!

Hessonite successfully forced Light Steven back into the Prism, ignoring the humans in front of her as she did so.

Steven: Nooooo! Light Steven!

Hessonite: *Finally notices that she's not alone* Hmmm, that strange sound? What's that down there? ...Humans? Ha! REALLY! You... activated in the hands... of HUMANS? I leave you here for a few thousand years, and you're ready to activate for whoever... WHATEVER happens to grab you?! Well, I'll let you make it up to me. Turn on them and cut them to shreds!

The Prism created weak Light Creatures, not wanting to hurt Steven, Connie and Greg.

Hessonite: *Angry at the result* WHAAAT! What are these weak forms! Your blades... so FLIMSY! You've gone SOFT! *Composing herself, barely keeping her anger in check* Come with me, you're embarrassing yourself!

Hessonite and the Prism teleported back to the ship, the latter being forced to do so.


"So, in this game, you begin with Steven, Connie and Greg in your party. And, yes, Steven is playable in this game, unlike the previous one, where he was more of a support/one-time use character in every battle. Goes to show the development he had in controlling his powers. You know, since, besides his healing powers, he can use his shield as a weapon. Instead, Greg takes Steven's spot as support, as he can heal the entire party and increase the amount of stars, which determines how many times you can use a character's skill, depending on the star power cost, per battle.

"Plus, once you get to the top of the hill and see one of the Crystal Gems dealing with Light Creatures on the beach, you get to pick that Crystal Gem, since the other two will join you later on. I usually choose Amethyst, since she's the one with the most character development, next to Pearl, and thus the least likely to get hit by me. Pearl also on that least likely list, since while I did give her a lot of flak, particularly the fact that she could've found loopholes to tell anyone who Pink was, it's most likely that she and Pink never thought those loopholes would exist and once said loopholes did exist, she just never thought of using them, so she's safe. Garnet, on the other hand, well, I made my opinions on her well-known." Mew said.

"Anyways, after going through some of the iconic places, like the Strawberry Battlefields, the woods next to Beach City, the Diamonds Sky Arena and a icefield, where they fight against Squaridot, who gets poofed by any of the Crystal Gem once she decides to be a threat on the farm, the entire party finally track her down at the Pyramid O'Peril, only for them to get their butts handed to them.


Hessonite: Oh, look at this. Your new friends. Here to steal rightfully mine.

Steven: The Prism doesn't want to be with you! It doesn't want to be a weapon!

Hessonite: You! *Teleports in front of Steven and points her sword at him* You're the one who ruined everything! How did you override my Prism?! All my customized settings... all our hard won battles... you've scrambled its memory!

(Peridot and Amethyst arrives)

Peridot: HEY, you orange... fluffy... CLOD!

Amethyst: Yeah! We've fried bigger fish than you! How 'bout some of THIS!

(Amethyst was about to use her whip on Hessonite, only for Hessonite to move at a speed that no one saw her for a moment, poofing Amethyst and Peridot in the process. As their Gems fall off the platforms, Hessonite turns around, facing Steven again)

Steven: NOOOO!

(Garnet, Connie and Greg arrives. As Garnet and Connie prepares to fight Hessonite, she swung her sword, poofing Garnet, knocking her Gems, Connie and Greg off the platform)

(Pearl arrives and attempts to attack Hessonite, only for Hessonite to block with her sword. She and Hessonite soon struggle to overpower each other.)

Hessonite: AH, the renegade Pearl.

Pearl: Hessonite... We clashed back then... ...you forced us back, but you never stopped us! I'll never let you win!

Hessonite: Yes you will. We both know you're in over your head. How about instead of a fight, you just come along with me? I think I deserve a Pearl by now! You know, I'm a bit of a legend. Even without my prism, I always win. ...No? Still want to fight? What a shame...

Pearl: For... Rose!

Hessonite: Rose!...

Steven: HEY, HESSONITE! Is this what you want?!

(Steven held the Prism in his hand, getting Hessonite's attention)

Hessonite: HAAA!

(Hessonite poofs Pearl, knocking her Gem off the platform, as she rushed towards Steven and knocks him off the platform, unconscious, while regaining the Prism in the process)


"You know, if Hessonite poofed the Crystal Gems and Peridot, why didn't they have new clothing once they reformed? You know, like Bismuth did in Unleash The Light, to explain why she looks like she did in the movie. Thus another example of this game trilogy being non canon if we aren't sticking to the rules from the series." Mew said.

"Anyways, we're going to take a small break before we tackle the rest of the review." Mew said, flying off to get a drink.

"Break time!" Registeel shouted, as everyone started to relax, grab something to eat or drink, and stretch.

(Cue instrumental version of theme song)


This review has been brought to you by the Pink Diamond Support Group. The number one group for anyone who acknowledges they're not perfect, that they have flaws, and are okay with it. Also sponsored by Silph Co., the company who helps make Pokemon training easier one step at a time.


(Cue instrumental version of theme song)

Everyone, after taking their break, went back to their positions. Mew floated back onto his seat in front of the camera.

"Well, we're back. So, after getting beaten by Hessonite, Greg, Connie and the Crystal Gems, including Peridot, regroup to try and figure out how to beat Hessonite. While that happens, Steven, via the first instance of astral projection, finds out the origins of the Prism." Mew said.


Steven: *In a blank, white void* ...DAD! CONNIE? And the Gems... they're looking for me! Hmm. How was I seeing them if I'm here... Also.. where in the blazes IS here?! *Starts exploring the white void* Helloooo? Any mean light monsters about? Anyone? *Notices something sparkly in the distance* Wow. Sparkly thing! I want to go there... *Heads towards the sparkly thing, which is revealed to be a memory of Yellow Diamond bestowing the Prism to a kneeling Hessonite* Is that... YELLOW DIAMOND? And Hessonite... Wow, this is like... some sort of home movie! A home-Homeworld movie! *Notices something behind the memory* Hey, another sparkly! *Heads towards the second memory, which shows an happy Hessonite proudly showing off the Prism to curious and intrigued Gems* Man, I'm really starting to get sick of her. Although, she looks... happy. *Heads to the third memory, showing the Light Creatures defeating the rebellion while Hessonite watches with an gleeful smirk* I don't like where this is going. *Heads to the fourth memory, showing Rose knocking the Prism out of Hessonite's hand with her sword* Is that... ...Mom? These visions... this was here On Earth! The Gem rebellion! … *Heads to the final memory, showing that the Prism was left behind by Hessonite, due to the Corrupting Song being used by White, Yellow and Blue Diamond. And it was left in that spot until the previous game* This... this is… *Suddenly, everything began fading to white as Steven woke up*


"Now armed with the knowledge about the Prism, Steven, Connie, Greg, Peridot and the Crystal Gems chase after Hessonite's trail to the forge, only to arrive after she left. However, Steven, still seeing things through the Prism, tells everyone that Hessonite is hiding in her ship, so they used Lion to get there.

"Once there, they had to fight their way to Hessonite's room, where she revealed that she had finally succeeded in returning the Prism back into a weapon." Mew said.


Garnet: Hessonite. There's no escaping this time!

Hessonite: *Sitting on her throne, looking off to side as she reminisce* The day we evacuated this planet, I had to get my troops out so quickly... so fast... there was no way to go back for it. No time. Why did we have to leave so quickly, if the Crystal Gems were just going to survive?! *Turn towards the Crystal Gem and Steven, giving the latter an angry glare* WHY did I leave my Prism... only for someone like you to steal it?!

Steven: Hessonite. Listen to me. The Prism, it doesn't...

Hessonite: *Interrupts angrily* Don't you dare tell me what you think it wants! Look at you, acting as though you have the moral high ground! You're a thief. You stole my property. You took my great weapon, and you broke it! *Sits back with an look of glee on her face* Well... ha ha, you'll be relieved to know I've finally fixed it now. Isn't that right?

The Prism: Yes. I belong to Hessonite.

Hessonite: You see? Now then, what's an appropriate punishment for theft and unauthorized activation for a Prism? Hm… *Starts to contemplate, then come up with a terribly good idea* I think... killing you, with that very same Prism. Yes, that seems VERY appropriate.

(The Prism transform into Spectral Conclusion)


"So, like the previous game, you fight the Prism. And, just like the previous game, you have to choose the right dialogue options to ensure the fight doesn't last forever. However, in this game, the right dialogue to stop the fight, and the Prism's misery, is Steven telling the Prism to stop being a weapon and make its own choices, so it decides to stop fighting. However, Hessonite isn't pleased about that." Mew said.


The Prism: Spectral Conclusion: ...

Steven: Hessonite, please stop! Prism! It's me, Steven!

The Prism: Spectral Conclusion: ...

Steven: I'm here to save you!

The Prism: Spectral Conclusion: I belong to Hessonite. ...

Steven: I know you don't have to be like this!

The Prism: Spectral Conclusion: ...

Steven: Hessonite is bad! Don't listen to her! Is this really what YOU want?

The Prism: Spectral Conclusion: ...

Hessonite: End this! Now! Destroy STEVEN!

The Prism: Spectral Conclusion: ...

Hessonite: UNBELIEVABLE! You're STILL listening to him!? Looks like I'll just have to deal with them myself.

Hessonite teleports onto the ground. The Prism briefly retracted the Light Creature it made as it moved to the sidelines before creating the Light Creature again. The Crystal Gems and Steven move to the corners of the room, preparing for the battle to decide the fate of the Prism.


"Thus, we have the fight against Hessonite, who hits like a tank, and has the defenses of one. But once you beat her, which will take a long time, not that I mind, she'll realize that she's the one who's failed the Prism and not the other way around." Mew said.


The Light Creature retracts back into the Prism, floating to the Crystal Gems and Steven, who stood near a defeated Hessonite.

Hessonite: *Crouched on the ground, leaning on her sword*... it's me that's defective. I was supposed to be perfect. They always said I would be. I knew it wasn't true. I needed the Prism. Not the other way around. I lost it. I left it here. And now I can never get it back. Of course it activated for someone else. You... It should just belong to you. Take it.

Steven: Okay. No! It doesn't belong to anyone! It should be free to make his own choices! Did you hear that, Prism? What DO you want?

The Prism: I want to stay on Earth.

Steven: Light Steven! I knew you were still in there!

Steven: Light Steven! It's good to see you again! But... You don't have to keep being me! You can just be... You!

Hessonite: You're a wise little creature, aren't you? Such an amazing end. For thousands of years I wanted nothing more than to have it back. But now, here it is, and… *Stands up* Ha. I'm leaving it again.

Garnet: Hessonite. We can't let you leave here.

Hessonite: Let me? Ha! Maybe I'm not what they said I was. Or maybe I am. It's now my chance to go find out. *Teleports away*


"And that's it for Save The Light. There is a bad ending where the Prism decides to stay with Hessonite, but it's non-canon and nothing really happens besides Steven expressing disappointment about the Prism's decisions. You know, double standards." Mew said with a shrug.

"Anyways, we're at the last game, Unleash The Light. Released in 2019 for Apple Arcade and 2021 for console. This game serves as an interquel for 'Change Your Mind' and Steven Universe The Movie, and has gotten three updates in the three years it's been released. However, update 4 contradicts what we already established: Steven was on Homeworld for 2 years after the original series, yet he was in Pink's room during update 4, which is on Earth. I think someone didn't realize this continuity hiccup." Mew explained.

"Anyways, the game begins with Steven, now 15 years old, recently finishing establishing the rules for Era 3 along with Blue Pearl, Yellow Pearl, and Pink Pearl. …You know, why didn't she ask Steven to heal her eye while he was on Homeworld? Oh yeah, because we needed a plot to bash Pink Diamond, nevermind." Mew said.


Steven: *Holds up the rules* And... there! It's finished! Presenting: Steven Universe's Era 3 Rules for dismantling the Empire! Whatcha think?

Blue Pearl: It's very nice. What do they say?

Steven: Let's see... The Diamonds no longer have authority... Gem colonies are now free, independent planets... Gems must give up all weapons of war...

Yellow Pearl: Oh! Oh! I've already reached out to Yellow Diamond's colonies and initiated the disarming process! She ordered me to overise it personally!

Steven: That's great! But remember, you don't work for her anymore! You can keep helping if you want to - but it's your choice! You're all free now!

Yellow Pearl: Oh, yes, well, I-I'll just finish this one last thing!

Pink Pearl: This is all very exciting. I certainly hope nothing goes wrong.

Yellow Pearl: Urm, speaking of weapons... There is still the matter of the Prisms...

Steven: *Surprised* Prisms? Wait, like... plural?

Yellow Pearl: Yes, of course. It seems one Prism was already decommissioned. That leaves two more still active. However, thus far I've been unsuccessful in contacting Pyrope and Demantoid...

Steven: *Shocked* Pyrope? Demantoid?

Blue Pearl: If they don't respond to our ultimatum, we could send a battalion to retrieve their Prisms by force.

Yellow Pearl: Yes, that's it! We'll simply destroy them to demonstrate the new guidelines for peace!

Steven: No! no more force! No more destroying - remember?

Yellow Pearl: Oh, right...

Pink Pearl: Then what is the solution, Steven?

Steven: Hmmm... I think I know just the team for the job!


"So of course, Steven and the Crystal Gems head over to talk to Pyrope and Demantoid. However, they don't want anything to do with the Crystal Gems nor Steven and seals off the Palace of Light, so they have to travel to other planets to get keys just to deal with her. While they plan to head off, they encounter a familiar face." Mew said.


Amethyst: Maybe we can ask this guy? *Indicates the Prism*

Pearl: Steven! Is that your old prism?

Steven: No way! What are you doing here, little buddy? I thought you went off to see the world! Not this world, of course - the other one! Y'know, Earth!

Prism: (Gibberish Speaking)

Steven: Oh? You wanna show us something? *Prism shows off his new form: a small, chubby-like humanoid* Wow! Is this the new you?

Prism: (Gibberish Speaking)

Amethyst: What's it saying, Steven?

Steven: The Prism just chose a name! Everyone, meet George!

George: (Gibberish Speaking)

Steven: You look so great! I'm so proud of you!

Amethyst: George! That's mah boi right there!

Garnet: Welcome to the team, George.

George showers Steven and the Gems in light particles. Then George floats into Steven's backpack.

Steven: Oh, I guess he needs to rest.


"So, with their new partner George accompanying them, Steven and the Gems go to other planets, or 'colonies' to find the keys to the Palace of Light. Along the way, they recruit Lapis and Bismuth into their quest. And, this game reveals the reason why Bismuth's outfit changes between 'Change Your Mind' and the movie. Long story short, she got poofed by Demantoid." Mew said.


(Bismuth arrives, holding the Containment Chest)

Bismuth: Steven, I've got the Containment Chest ready! Just gotta distract the little lump long enough to get near her Prism.

Steven: Right! On it like a bonnet!

Steven opens his backpack, letting George out. George and Demantoid's Prism started communicating.

Demantoid: ... Just embarrassing.

Bismuth moved closer to Demantoid, prepared to use the Containment Chest on the latter's Prism. However, Demantoid's Prism reacted quickly, firing a beam of rainbow light at Bismuth, who barely changed her arm into a shield. The Containment Chest flew into the air, landing in Demantoid's hands.

Bismuth: Argh!

Steven: Bismuth!

Demantoid: What rudimentary tech is this?

Bismuth: Steven, don't worry about me! You gotta get that box back!

Steven: No way, you're in trouble! Hold on, we'll save you!

Bismuth: It's fine - I've got this! Just get the box!

Lapis: Steven, what do we do?

Garnet: Steven, we must move quickly!

Demantoid: Hm.

Bismuth: Steven, the box.

Steven throws his shield at Demantoid's hand, causing her to drop the Containment Chest. It flew all the way into Steven's backpack.

Steven: Okay! We got the box! Bismuth, let's go!

Bismuth: You guys get a head start! I'll hold her off!

(Demantoid's Bismuths arrives)

Demantoid's Bismuth: 'Ey! Demantoid! We need to have a lil chat.

Demantoid's Bismuth 2: Yeah! We got some ideas to discuss. 'Bout a lil thing called workers rights.

Demantoid's Bismuth 3: Hey, wait! That Earth Bismuth's in trouble!

Demantoid's Bismuth: Don't worry, cuz! We'll lend you a hammer!

Bismuth: Now we're in Bismuth.

Demantoid: Enough.

Demantoid uses her technology to increase the power of her Prism's beam. Soon, Bismuth's shield changed back to her arm as she got hit, poofing immediately.

Steven: BISMUTH!

Pearl: You'll pay for that! Steven, use the box!

Demantoid's Bismuth #3: Get it, little man.

Demantoid's Bismuth: Yeah! We'll hold her down!

Demantoid: Hm. *Activates her limb enhancer, escaping with her Prism*


"After going through a couple of stages, Bismuth reforms, wearing her current outfit. And after that, the Gems and Steven receive a message from Squaridot to hand over George or else. As it turns out, the reason why Squaridot is released, besides the fact that this is for the second update, is because Peridot unbubbled her, hoping to reform her like Steven did to her, but Squaridot left as soon as she was unbubbled.

"So, Steven, the Gems and Peridot take a detour to Hessonite's Ship, where they find the most horrifying thing: Squaridot isn't the main villain of this game, thus the sequel hook at the end of the previous game is pointless!" Mew said, accompanied by the 'Dun, Dun, Dun' in the background.

"Oh, and also the fact that the ship took complete control of her mind, thus forcing you to fight her and the ship itself. That's cool too. But come on, why have a sequel hook if you're not going to cash it in?" Mew asked.

"Anyways, after that, they encounter another familiar face."


(Hessonite arrives, wearing a different outfit, and a scarf over her face)

Hessonite: Greetings, Crystal Gems!

Pearl: It can't be...

Steven: No way...

Hessonite: Fear not! I, your intriguing new companion, have come to offer my invaluable assistance! Waste not your energy deducing my identity! For none are able to discover my true name...

Steven: HESSONITE?!

Hessonite: I- urm...

George: (Gibberish Speaking)

Steven: Oh, George! It's okay! We won't let anything happen to you.

Hessonite: HA! You think *I* could possibly be the Great Hessonite? If only I could be as brilliant, strong, dashing, and incredibly humble as the Legendary Hero Hessonite! Ha ha ha ha ha! You are quite adept at comedy! So funny.

George: (Gibberish Speaking)

Amethyst: Uh, tell me she's joking.


"If only, Amethyst. If only," Mew said.


Garnet: This is no laughing matter. You still need to answer for -

Hessonite: Answers, yes! You seek answers. Of course you do! Be amazed, Crystal Gems! For I, your ambiguous ally, shall now reveal the very answer you seek! To unlock the puzzle of the rainbow barrier and proceed deeper into the Palace of the Light, you must... Are you ready? You may want to hot this down. You must... obtain a rainbow key!

Amethyst: ...

Steven: ...

Hessonite: Yes, yes. I know this revelation solves everything for you. You're welcome! And with that - we shall meet again!

(Hessonite leaves)


"You know, Hessonite, if the only thing you do to 'disguise' yourself is change your clothing and wrap a scarf around your face without changing your voice, you need to take remedial class for Disguise 101…for dummies. But hey, if our heroes can tell that it's Hessonite, then surely the villains can do the same too, right?" Mew asked.


(Demantoid arrives)

Pyrope: There you are! About time you finally joined us. What were you doing, anyhow? You little Prism tinkerin' again?

Demantoid: ... You've made a mistake.

Pyrope: What's that? Speak up for once!

Demantoid: Same mistake you always make. You underestimated them.

Pyrope: Oh, well you're just so helpful as always, Demantoid. Can we not do this now?

Hessonite: (off-screen) She's right you know.

Demantoid: What?

(Hessonite arrives)

Hessonite: They're much stronger than you could ever know. And I, ever so fabulous and alluring mystery hero, stand with them! You silly Garnets are all washed up.

Pyrope: Hmm. Are we now? You know it's already quite rude to be an uninvited guest. But to also hide your face... It just won't do. *Twirl her fan, sending a gust of wind at Hessonite, ripping the scarf off her face* HESSONITE?! What! H-how can this be!

Demantoid: You really didn't know?

Hessonite: Yes, it is true! It was I, the great Hessonite, all along! I single-handedly orchestrated the Crystal Gem's success, all while remaining completely incognito! As we all know, the old Hessonite knew nothing but constant fame and glory! But this is the new me! That's right - I once was the greatest war hero Gem of all time. And now... I AM THE MOST HUMBLE GEM OF ALL TIME!

Demantoid: Sigh.

Pyrope: This is just absurd! Even for you! Though I suppose that finally explains what this Steven is doing with your Prism.

Hessonite: Why yes, I liberated my prism even before Steven's decree. You know how I'm always ahead of the curve. Try not to be jealous, Pyrope. It doesn't suit you.


"...Congrats, we have one villain who's a moron and the other being the smart one. What is this, a Gem version of Pinky and the Brain?" Mew asked.


Pyrope(Pinky insert): What are we going to do tonight, Demantoid?

Demantoid(The Brain insert): What we always do every night, Pyrope: take over the universe!


"I swear, if there's a spin-off series for those two, I'm out." Mew said in a deadpan manner.

"Hey, you forgot to turn off the T.V.!" Registeel cried out from the background. However, after seeing whatever was on the television, there was a click, then, "Nevermind!"

"One of these days, I need to give these guys a raise," Mew muttered under his breath.

"Anyways, you want to know why Pyrope and Demantoid are doing this whole schtick? Power," Mew said.


Pyrope: Oh my. You've really made it all the way here. Well, come on over. Let me have a look at you. Did you enjoy the Palace? How did you find out hospitality? You've quite lucky, you know. My Gems, they'd dissipate their forms for a chance to stroll these halls again. And who could blame them? They love me so much. As does my Prism. As do all Gems!

Bismuth: Wow. This one might just be the crustiest of the uppercuts.

Garnet: You are delusional.

Pyrope: (Sighs) Yes, yes, they all adore their perfect Pyrope. You see, it's why I couldn't even following these little rules of yours, Steven. Gems need a ruler, they're lost without one. That's just how Gems are. If not the Diamonds, why not someone already so beloved? And a Prism-bearer, at that! It's as if I was made for this. And Demantoid, she's part of this too I suppose. But with that winning personality, who would follow her? Even with all those big ideas and fancy technology, she knew it would take my legions of loyal subjects to pull off our coup.

Lapis: Are you done yet?

Steven: Pyrope, it's not too late for you to set things right. Stand down and release your Prism. There can still be a place for you in Era 3!

Pyrope: Tee hee! You don't understand, dear. I'm a Garnet. A Prism-bearer. I've held my colony strong for thousands of years. And most important of all. I was made perfect in every way. Ever since the day I came out that wall. As you can see, there's just so many reasons why they all love me. If you think you can stand against all of that, well you're wrong.


"Clearly, Steven, you need to have a backup plan if you're planning on abolishing a tyrannical matriarchy. Otherwise, you have a huge power vacuum and so many Gems who want to take that position, thinking that if White, Yellow and Blue didn't get the right punishment for what they've done, then surely they'll get the same treatment. …I still blame White Diamond for this anyways.

"So, Pyrope and Demantoid force George to fuse with their Prisms, making the Mega Prism. Or whatever it was called, it never got a name. So, of course, like the other two games, you need to beat up the Prisms. …Why do we make a new character just to beat it up? That's cruel!

"Fortunately for us, Steven and Hessonite manage to convince George to undo the fusion. How? Same as the previous two games: by talking." Mew said.


Steven: GEORGE! I know you're still in there!

George: ?

Bismuth: It heard you, Steven. Quick, try again!

Steven: George, think about everything we've been through!

George: ?...

Steven: Think about all the amazing work you've done on yourself! You've come so far!

George: ...

Lapis: It's working...

Steven: George, you don't have to-

Demantoid: ...

Steven: Mmmff! Mmff!

Lapis: Steven!

Hessonite: Prism!

George: ...?

Hessonite: I've been watching you from afar this whole time. What Steven taught you... it's the same thing he taught me. We don't have to do terrible things we were made for. I know I held you back from that for so long. I'm sorry. Don't fall back into that form, Prism! This isn't you. Not anymore. You're... George!

George: !

Demantoid: No! Don't listen to her! You are where you belong! You are complete!

Pyrope: …

George and the other Prisms unfuses, thus ending the fight.


"So the day is safe. Pyrope and Demantoid end up poofing each other, George stays at the Palace of Light to teach the other Prism to decide things for themselves, and Hessonite stays to fix up the place and keep an eye on Pyrope and Demantoid. And that's the end, right?

"Well, no. After the main story was the update for the Squaridot stuff, which is the version I used for this review. And the other two updates came out after my Apple Arcade free trial was over, so I didn't play those updates.

However, the first one of those two was the Black Hole update. Long story short, a black hole is about to swallow Yellow Colony 4, and Steven and the Gems decided to check it out. As they go to do so, Connie and Lion arrive to help out. In-universe, it's because Connie just caught up with her schoolwork and decided to help Steven. Out of universe, the developers just wanted to throw a teleporting lion and a girl into a black hole. The only thing you get out of that is changing what shirt Steven wears with his varsity jacket, so you can either stick with the movie color or Future color. I'd prefer Pink Diamond's outfit, at least Steven regains a bit of health if he was K.O.'d, which is proof that Pink Diamond does care about Steven.

"The other update involves Rose's Room, which, as I stated before, contradicts with the movie where it confirmed that Steven hasn't been on Earth in two years. Then again, this series never had that tight of a continuity, since early episodes were rewritten by later episodes to fit in with the new tone of the show." Mew said.


Great continuity!


"Anyways, the whole thing acts like New Game Plus, but on harder difficulty. Either that, or like one of those 'fight an endless wave of enemies until you win' kind of level. You pick your party members, what skills you and said party members gain, and if you beat the whole thing, you unlock Greg. Make senses, we can't throw him into a black hole, so we throw him into a room known for mindraping people. Yes, I admit it.

"So, after all that, what do I think of these games? They're great parts of this franchise, but only because they're games and they're never referenced by the show, outside of Hessonite. Sure, we can also talk about the time Steven went to school with Connie, but that's considered non-canon by the Crewniverse. But, like a certain talking chair once said," Mew said.


I can dream, Harold!


"So, I considered it canon, and no one can stop me. Anyways, I'm the Critical Mew, and I review these stuff so you don't have to. Anyways, wanna guess what's next on the reviewing block?" Mew asked.

Suddenly, a portal to the Distortion World opened, with a shadowy Giratina glaring at everyone. Giratina's eyes glowed blood red.

"Not exactly what I was meaning, but it's this universe equivalent of what I meant, so I'll take it." Mew said.

Next time: The Owl House Season 1.

(Cue instrumental version of theme song)


Credits:

The New Scooby-Doo Mysteries

Steven Universe 'Change Your Mind'

Steven Universe Future 'I Am My Monster'

Steven Universe Attack The Light

Steven Universe Save The Light

Steven Universe Unleash The Light

Linkara

Caddicarus

Pinky and the Brain

asdf's cartoon compilation


(A/N: Disclaimer: If you're wondering what's on that note that my co-star{and my co-author for Across The Multiverse Productions}, read the author's note from Chapter 47 of the Animated Series story, as that will provide context clues. We decided to keep it out of this chapter because, in this universe, he has a reputation to uphold.)