A/N: This is a heavy chapter.

Summary: We learn more about Sara's time with Damien Darhk.

Chapter 30

"Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going." -David Rossi (Criminal Minds)

"Sara, lunch is ready," Ava called out. "Sara," she repeated when she didn't get a response. "Sara." She moved to stand in front of her. "Sara." She tried. Once again, Sara did not respond to her. She looked like she was deep in thought, she was there physically but mentally she was somewhere else. Ava began to look for the dogs. 'Outside,' she reminded herself. Sara had taken them out earlier. She moved to the patio door quickly, calling the dogs inside. Without command, the pair followed her to where Sara sat. Justice immediately began pawing at her leg while Scout nudged her thigh with his nose.

A bark from Justice snapped Sara out of her trance. She sat up, waking the sleeping kitten that had nestled against her leg. She blinked several times in an effort to clear her vision. She strained to hear what was being said to her. She closed her eyes and focused everything on listening. Ava. Ava was calling her name. She opened her eyes once again to find a very worried Ava staring at her, her arms stretched out, wanting to touch her but too afraid to do so. "Sorry," she muttered. "I, uh." She didn't finish her thought.

"Where did you go," Ava asked. She'd been fine when she'd left her on the couch to make lunch. "Anything I can do."

Sara didn't say anything for several seconds. She focused on the animals pressed up against her. "We need to talk."

"Should I be worried," Ava asked.

Sara gave Ava a confused look. "What," she asked. Her brain was still in a fog and she wasn't sure if she'd missed something.

"I said, should I be worried? It has been my experience that conversations that start with 'we need to talk' rarely end well." She smiled as Sara realized what she'd said. Her Sara was trying to make an appearance. It always amazed her how quickly Sara worked to return after an attack.

"Oh," Sara smiled. "I didn't think about that. Sorry," she apologized.

Her Sara was fading again. She pushed the panic clawing at her throat down. "You don't have to apologize, love. I'm worried about you." Ava couldn't resist anymore, she placed a comforting hand on Sara's knee. "What would you like to talk about," she asked.

Again, Sara said nothing for nearly a minute. "I'm hungry." She wasn't ready to talk about the things that she needed Ava to know. "I," she started to explain but stopped. Not knowing how to finish her thought.

"Hey." Ava squeezed her thigh gently. "When you're ready. Right now, I have lunch on the table and it is getting cold."

Sara nodded, her eyes filling with tears. She didn't know how she'd gotten so lucky. "Thank you. I am hungry," she repeated.

Ava did her best not to show concern. Sara had repeated herself as if she hadn't just mentioned food. While she appeared to be present, she was still very much inside her head. "Come on," Ava encouraged, extending a hand out for Sara to take.

Sara nodded, taking Ava's offered hand. She allowed herself to be led into the kitchen where two plates sat ready.

"Do you want to eat outside or inside." She knew Sara preferred to be outside when she was trying to clear her head but she wanted her to be the one to decide.

"Outside please." She picked up the plate Ava had made for her. "This smells really good."

Ava could see Sara was trying for normal, whatever it was people considered normal, but she could also see she was struggling. "I thought I'd try something new. It's actually a recipe Gary shared with me." She was pleased when Sara did a double take. That caught her attention.

"You're kidding, Gary," she asked, scrunching up her nose. The thought of the clumsy man making something that smelled this great was disturbing. "Gary," she asked again.

"I was afraid to try his cooking, but despite all his flaws, the man can actually cook." Ava smiled.

"I'm only going to eat it because you made it. And well,"

"You're starving," Ava finished for her.

Sara chuckled. "You guessed it." She winked at Ava before moving towards the back door. "Come on boys," she called out to the dogs.

It was a habit for Sara to take the dogs out with them anytime they sat outside to eat. What Sara had not noticed was that the dogs were already tailing her, not wanting to be too far from their charge. The thought unsettled Ava. Sara was always so aware, so in tune with everything. Any other day, she'd have noticed the dogs were at her side. She wouldn't have called for them because they would've followed her out regardless of whether she called for them or not. She needed them and they knew it.

"You coming babe," Sara stopped at the door. Ava hadn't been following her.

"Yup, just grabbing us some water." She held up two water bottles and followed Sara and the dogs outside. The silence in which they'd eaten in continued long after they were done. Ava had wanted to break it several times but she didn't know what to say. Other than saying they needed to talk, Sara had not said anything to clue her in as to what it was she wanted to talk about.

Sara grabbed Ava's empty plate out of her hands and stacked it on top of hers, placing both plates on the table beside the hanging swing. She pressed herself into Ava's side, curling up into a ball.

Ava wrapped her arms around Sara, pulling her onto her lap, gently rocking the swing back and forth with her foot. She kissed the top of Sara's head as she nestled it further into the crook of her neck. "I love you, Sara." She reminded the woman in her arms. It was very rare for Sara to shut down. Even when she needed time and space, it was never from her. She would disconnect from everyone, including her family, but never her. When she did need time and space at home, it never lasted more than a few minutes. Ava reminded herself that Sara was there, the space and time she needed this time were not physical but mental. It meant she was trying to prepare herself for a talk she wasn't ready to have. She wished she could tell Sara she didn't have to say anything, that whatever it was they would deal with it as it came but she didn't want to be as unprepared as she had been the first time Sara had gotten sick. That night had terrified her. She'd felt as helpless as the day her squad had been gunned down.

"I know you're worried," Sara interrupted her thoughts. "I know what I need to say, but my brain is not cooperating. It's hard," she whispered the last part.

Ava's heart broke as she felt the tears of the woman she loved against her neck and chest. "You don't have to tell me now. Right now, just let me hold you." She held Sara tightly. She was relieved when Sara began to relax against her.

"Maybe we can camp in the living room later, and get a fire going," Sara asked.

Ava had thought she'd fallen asleep. "That sounds good."

"Thanks, Aves." Sara kissed the base of her neck. "Are your legs asleep," she asked. She'd been sitting in Ava's lap for what felt like hours.

"Nope, they're good." She held Sara in place, not ready to let her go.

Sara said nothing. Instead, she relaxed against Ava, uncurling herself a bit.

"Are you cold," Ava asked a few hours later. The sun was setting, and the temperature was dropping. While it wasn't necessarily cold yet, she could feel Sara shiver against her.

"A little."

"How about a hot shower, and then we can relax in front of the fire, maybe watch a movie." At Sara's nod, she stood up, carrying her in her arm.

"I can walk," Sara argued but made no attempt to dislodge herself from Ava.

"I know." Ava smiled down at her. "I can too." She laughed when Sara rolled her eyes. Ava carried Sara to their bathroom. She set Sara down, holding on until she was sure Sara could stand on her own without swaying. She'd been sitting in one position for so long she was worried her legs may have fallen asleep.

"I'm good," Sara assured her.

Ava nodded. "I'm going to grab us some clothes, will you start the water," she asked.

Sara smiled. Ava was giving her something to do to distract her. "I can do that." Once the water got warm enough, she undressed and stepped under the spray.

"I'm coming in," Ava announced, not wanting to startle her. Once inside the tub, she drew the shower curtain closed to keep the water from spraying everywhere. Sara turned to face her but said nothing. "Can I wash your hair," She asked. Sara liked having her hair washed. She hoped the action would soothe her. She took a step towards Sara, closing the already small gap between them, allowing the water to spray over both of them. Ava noted that the water was hotter than Sara typically liked it. She must've been colder than she'd let on.

Sara placed her hands on either side of Ava's hips and allowed the woman to wash her hair. She could feel the love pour out of Ava as she tenderly massaged her scalp. A sob escaped her lips and she was powerless to stop it. One single sob broke what little control she'd been maintaining.

Ava's heart wrenched as she listened to Sara cry. She circled her arms around her, pulling her tightly against her. She wished she knew what to say to ease Sara's pain, but she knew as her hands ran across the scars on Sara's back and sides that nothing she could say would ease whatever mental turmoil she was presently battling. "I've got you." She reminded Sara. "You're safe." She continued to repeat these phrases, reminding Sara that she was not alone.

"I'm sorry," Sara apologized, pulling back and wiping at her eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for my love." Ava kissed the top of her head.

Sara sighed; all she wanted to do was cry. She hated feeling this way. "I'm ready to get out." She was ready to settle in front of the fire. The long day and the crying had worn her out.

"Okay, let's finish up, and then we can get cozy in front of the fire."

"You're shivering; maybe we stayed outside too long." Ava hadn't been paying attention to the temperature while they'd been outside. She hadn't thought it was cold, but then again, she'd had Sara tucked in her lap, heat radiating off of her. "Let me get another blanket." She moved to get up but Sara stopped her.

"No, it's fine." She sighed in frustration. "The blanket won't help. Just like this damn fire isn't helping." She gestured towards the fire angrily. "Damn it," she cursed. She wanted to scream and cry all at the same time.

"Sara," Ava started but quickly stopped when Sara held up a hand.

"I need a few minutes." She could feel her emotions getting the better of her. "I don't want to say something I'm going to regret. Please," she pleaded. Her anger was beating out her level of frustration and she didn't want to say something hurtful to Ava.

"Okay, darling. When you're ready." Ava started to stand but once again Sara stopped her.

"Stay." She knew she wasn't being fair to Ava which only added to her frustration. Which made her want to cry more. The pair sat in silence. The dogs, who'd gotten as close to Sara as they could with Ava being there were soon joined by the cats. "I thought I could mentally prepare myself to have this conversation with you but I was wrong." Sara finally broke the silence. "The more I tried to prepare, the deeper into the hole I fell." She looked at Ava with tears in her eyes. "I thought since we had a few days off together, it would be better to do it today. In case this happened." She motioned to her tear-filled eyes.

Ava was afraid to speak. It seemed that Sara was on the verge of getting to the source of her trigger and she didn't want to interfere. When she was sure Sara would say no more, she sat up. "Come here." Ava moved back against the couch and pulled Sara between her legs. She wrapped her arms around her waist and brought her knees up and pressed them against Sara's sides, hoping to make her feel secure, and most importantly, not feel alone. "Whenever you're ready. If needed, we'll take a couple of extra days off." She didn't care if she missed work, not if it was to be there for Sara.

Sara pressed back against her, resting her hands on top of Ava's. "My, um," she cleared her throat. "The uh, the day he." She shook her head, squeezing her eyes closed, her breathing becoming labored.

Understanding hit Ava like a ton truck smashing into her. How had she not realized this. Better yet, why had she not done her own research to figure out the exact day on her own, so that Sara could have avoided the state of anguish she was currently in. "The day he took you is coming up," she clarified, and Sara nodded. Sara rarely talked about her time in captivity, or how she'd been rescued and Ava had been too afraid to ask out of fear of triggering her. Sara was always so good about talking about her feelings that she'd figured she would bring it up when she was ready. It was evident now, that despite the time that had passed, this part of her ordeal was something she still hadn't found a way to communicate without sending herself back to the past. "Would it help if someone who was familiar was here," she asked. "Maybe Laurel," she added. Laurel had been a great resource the last time Ava had needed help, and she knew she would be one now. To her relief, Sara nodded.

"Is that okay," she asked. Turning in Ava's arms to look at her.

Leave it to Sara to worry about her feelings while she was battling her own demons. "Of course it is. Sara, I will do whatever it takes or call whoever I need to, to help you." She hugged her. "I'm going to text her." She grabbed her phone and sent a brief message explaining the situation to Laurel. The response that she'd be there in fifteen minutes was almost immediate.

Laurel let herself in with the key the couple had provided her and made a beeline for the living room. "Hey Ava," she greeted. "Hi, Sis." She knelt down in front of the pair taking Sara into her arms for a long hug.

"Hi," Sara greeted back, melting into her sister's arms. Many were the nights she and Laurel had found themselves in this position.

"Long day," she asked. Her sister looked exhausted.

Sara chuckled. "You can say that." Days like today managed to drain what little energy she had.

"I'm sorry, sweetie." She gave her a final squeeze before relinquishing her hold to Ava. She smiled at the pair. She couldn't help but love Ava more. She never allowed her ego to get in the way of helping her sister. "You okay if we talk." She motioned between herself and Ava.

Sara nodded. Laurel always made sure it was okay to talk about her when she was in the room. In the beginning, she hated it when her family talked about her as if she were not there. "I'm really tired, can you maybe wait a few minutes." She knew if she allowed herself, sleep would take her over.

"Of course." Laurel smiled. "Now where is Irons, pictures are not enough." She searched for the kitten in the pile of animals that had surrounded the couple.

"He's over here." Ava motioned with her head. "He's hiding behind Sara."

Laurel crawled over to him and gushed. "He is so precious!" She picked up the feline and held him against her face. "And so soft," she added. "Aren't you the cutest little kitty," she spoke gently to the cat. "Present company excluded of course." She scratched behind Siren's ear. "She out," she pointed to Sara. She wasn't surprised by how quickly her sister had faded. She set the cat down and grabbed several blankets, wrapping them around Sara. "How much has she told you," she asked Ava. She was dreading the conversation she was about to have.

"She told me why he took her, how he killed Tommy, and how he would choke her, to let her know he held her life in his hands. She doesn't talk much about her time with him or how she was rescued and I've been too afraid to push." She sighed. "Should I have pushed," she asked. "I keep thinking that I failed her somehow. That I should have known the anniversary of her kidnapping was coming up." The guilt was eating her up.

"First," Laurel stopped her from continuing her train of thought. "Don't let her hear you talk like that. It would kill her to know the guilt you're carrying and she'll only blame herself for not being strong enough to tell you in the first place. We both know the bigger part of her not wanting to tell you is to protect you, not herself." It had taken Laurel a long time to figure that last part out. Sara had the tendency of putting the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"I," Ava was about to deny the extent of her guilt but stopped herself. Laurel was right. She'd been feeling guilty and she was sure Sara had sensed it.

"Second," Laurel went on. "Sara will only talk about it if she wants to talk about it. We've been there from the beginning and she hasn't shared most of it with us. Some of the details we know, we only found out from the extent of her injuries, the things she would scream out in the middle of a panic attack or a nightmare and whatever that bastard boasted about in the pictures he took and the stories he told just to break my father and for a while, it worked." Guilt was a powerful tool and Damien Darhk had used it to tear her family apart.

"Pictures," Ava asked, appalled. "He took pictures," she asked, disgusted.

Laurel nodded. "He had her for six days." Those six days had felt like a lifetime. "My father buried himself in finding her, he knew Damien had her but he had no proof. His criminal informants slowly started disappearing. One by one, they were being taken out. A good number of the staff at the DA's office at the time were on Damien's payroll, as were several judges. Getting a warrant for his properties was out of the question." She smiled sadly at Ava's look of disbelief. "My dad has cleaned house since he took over as chief. The corruption that interfered with finding her is what drove me to be a lawyer with the district attorney's office." Laurel had always wanted to be a lawyer, until her sister's kidnapping, being an attorney for the state was the last thing on her mind. She'd wanted to work to protect the little guy. In the end she'd realized she could still help the little guy by making sure their trials were fair.

"How did you find her if the judge and DA were on his side." She was too bitter to say his name. She felt sick knowing the people who were supposed to be good were so easily corrupted.

"We didn't," she said matter of factly. "For two days we looked for her and Tommy."

"Tommy," Ava interrupted. "I thought he killed him when he took her."

Laurel realized Ava hadn't known the full story with Tommy. "He did, but we didn't know that until later. He'd captured both of them, killing Tommy in front of her. When we finally found her, we found Tommy in the same room, laying a few feet from where he had her tied down." Laurel could feel the nausea rise as she thought about the foul odor that came from Tommy's decaying body.

Ava felt sick; there was so much she still didn't know. "I didn't mean to interrupt," Ava apologized.

Laurel shook her head. "Don't apologize. You need to know. It's hard to hear, but the more you know, the better you can help her." As much as she hated retelling this story, she was sure Ava felt the same way having to hear it. But, they both loved her sister and that is why they sat on the floor talking about the worst time in Sara's life.

"What happened after the first two days? You said you looked for them the first two days." Ava was sure they didn't stop after only two days. If there was one thing she knew about the Lances it was that they were determined and would move heaven and earth for the ones they loved.

"That's when the pictures started," she grimaced. "Dad tried keeping them from my mother and me but the bastards were relentless. We woke up to find them plastered on our doors, and inside our cars. When officers patrolled the area, they began sending them by courier." She paused, needing a moment to collect herself. "The first few pictures were just of her. He'd print them and dip the edges in her blood."

Ava involuntarily tightened her hold around Sara being careful not to wake her. She realized how much strength it had taken Sara that first day they'd had lunch. She'd told her Tommy had died, but she hadn't mentioned that she'd had to look at his lifeless body for nearly a week.

"She's okay," Laurel reminded her. "You have to remember that. She fought. She survived." The toll of her words was evident on Ava's face. She didn't blame her one bit. It made her sick thinking about that dreaded week and the months that followed.

Ava nodded, kissing the top of Sara's head. She needed to be strong, she reminded herself. For Sara. "What happened next," she asked.

"One of the pictures he sent had Tommy in the background, his eyes open and empty. When the anniversary of her kidnapping comes around, she sees him. Tommy," she clarified. "While she knows his death was not her fault, around the anniversary the guilt eats at her. She doesn't think rationally, so she begins to blame herself. Sometimes it's easiest to let her talk it out logically rather than argue with her. Guide her towards logic rather than telling her the facts, if that makes sense."

Ava nodded. She knew what Laurel meant. Sara had used that tactic with her on numerous occasions. She preferred coming to the logical conclusion on her own rather than having someone tell her what she should know. "She does that with me."

"Good." Laurel was relieved. "I guess she's been subconsciously preparing you." Sara was always thinking of the long run even when she wasn't doing it intentionally.

"Did the pictures continue until she was found," Ava asked.

Laurel nodded. "Yes, but he had to find new ways to get them to us. Our mail was being screened and my mother and I were not allowed to go anywhere without a police escort. With each picture, we could see the life fading from her eyes. He was breaking her spirit and we knew we were running out of time."

Ava wiped at her eyes as the tears she'd been holding back began to fall. Sara's eyes held so much life. So much joy. So much mischief. She didn't want to imagine them without that Sara spark that she loved so much but that is all she could see.

"It never gets easier." Laurel wiped at her own tears. "Years later and I can still see her, fragile, bleeding and barely alive." She moved to sit next to Ava, placing an arm over her shoulders. Pulling her against her. "After the fourth day, we were hoping for the pictures because they were the only clue we had to whether she was still alive or not. No matter how much the crime lab tried, they couldn't find anything. Barry was a crime scene investigator at the time. He worked countless hours trying to find a clue in the pictures, it broke him when he couldn't find her. It's what led to him joining the police force. He wanted to have her back." So many lives were impacted by one event.

Ava had noticed a protectiveness from several of the officers that worked with Sara, she understood more and more why it was there. Some of them had started out as rookies with her while others had been involved in finding her.

"On day six dispatch received an anonymous call from a young homeless girl claiming there was a lady cop and she was hurt. Gideon took the call." She smiled at the thought of the fiery dispatcher.

That explained the mama bear protectiveness Gideon had when it came to Sara. Not only had she known her in her youth, but she'd also been the one to take the call that led to her being located.

"The girl refused to give her name. She apologized that she hadn't called sooner. She'd known where Sara was for three days." She tried to keep the anger out of her voice. She'd known the girl had been scared. "She'd run away from an abusive foster home and was afraid if she called the cops, they'd take her back. Every day she came back to the warehouse Sara was held in and Sara worked on convincing her to go to the police."

"I can't believe she didn't go to the police immediately." Ava was both thankful for and angry at the girl.

"I was too. But then we found out the family she had run from, the abusive one had several cops in it."

"She didn't trust cops," Ava added.

Laurel nodded. "No, she didn't. It took days but Sara convinced her to call for help, that dad would make sure she didn't go back to her old home."

"What happened to her," Ava asked.

"Sin, that's the name she gave Gideon, Cindy is now in college. My father had a dozen families he trusted and called all of them. A few months after placement, the family she was placed with adopted her. She and Sara check on each other a few times a year."

"What happened next?"

"Gideon called dad directly. She had spent a lot of time with us, especially those six days. She learned about the corruption in the DA's office and was concerned that corruption ran deep in the police department too." She explained. "Dad gathered the team of officers he trusted and they raided the warehouse." She paused, taking a calming breath. "Sin had called Gideon back to tell her the bad man was there. Dad and his team deployed in record time. When they entered, he had Sara pulled back against him, the knife plunged into her stomach."

Ava knew which scar that last plunge had left. It was the one that left Sara unable to have kids, the one that bothered her most when the weather changed.

"He was driving the knife further into her when dad pulled the trigger. Shot him in the shoulder. The coward used her as a shield and that was the only clear shot he could make without hitting Sara. To this day my father regrets not shooting him in the head when he'd fallen to the ground, but the sick bastard had just dropped the knife, laughed, and said he surrendered. Dad's moral code would not let him shoot an unarmed man, no matter how evil he was."

Ava respected Quentin even more. She didn't know that she'd have the strength not to pull the trigger. "That decision must have haunted him," Ava commented.

Laurel nodded. "He hated himself for letting him live. Especially because of what happened next."

Ava wasn't sure how much more she could bear to hear. She wished she had a cold drink in her hand.

"Do you want to take a break," Laurel asked. While Ava's hold on her sister was gentle her eyes were filled with hate and hurt.

She shook her head. "No, I'm good." She needed to hear the rest. "It just hurts to know everything she went through and that it didn't stop when she was found."

"It doesn't get easier. Sometimes I see her happy and flourishing and I think she's finally caught a break, and then I see her like this and it's like the wound is ripped open all over again." She smiled as her sister shifted trying to get closer to Ava.

"Let's move to the couch." Ava picked Sara up and sat on the couch with Sara in her lap.

Laurel placed a pillow behind Ava's arm so that it rested more comfortably as she held Sara up and placed the blankets back around her.

"Ava," Sara murmured against her chest.

"You're okay, I just moved us to the couch. Sleep." She kissed her forehead and held her firmly against her. "Tell me the rest," she told Laurel once she was sure Sara was asleep again.

Laurel nodded, proud of Ava for pushing through. "He'd stabbed and cut her a dozen times. Most of the wounds were meant to cause pain, not kill, except for the one on her stomach. Had dad not shot him, he would have eviscerated her." The thought made her queasy. "She was covered in bruises, and lacerations. He'd given her just enough to eat and drink to keep her alive. He would randomly lace the food with hallucinogens. That's why it's so hard to pull her out of her nightmares when she's sick. It's as if she's been drugged all over again and she's in this dissociative state. Don't be upset that she didn't tell you." Laurel knew she was throwing a lot at Ava at once, but the more she knew the better she could support Sara.

"I'm not upset. Dissociative drugs have a tendency of messing with cognitive thought processes and cause memory impairment." As a medic, she'd taken several courses on psychiatric medications and their effects when used as recreational drugs.

Laurel nodded. "Sometimes she remembers, other times, she forgets she was ever drugged. The drug would also increase and decrease her body temperature and with the blood loss and lack of adequate clothing, she always feels cold. That's one of the reasons we hold her. The first thing she recalls when she wakes up is that she felt warm, which was not something she experienced when he had her. That crack opens the door and allows us to pull her out."

"But we don't want her to be too warm so that she feels cold," Ava added.

Laurel smiled. "Exactly." Ava's medical training was making this process easier. "No pressure." she joked to lighten the mood.

"Not at all." Ava sighed. "There's more." It wasn't a question. From what she'd learned about Damien Darhk she knew he would not take kindly to losing.

"When Sara first returned to work, she started receiving phone calls from citizens requesting assistance. When she'd call them back, they'd turn out to be Damien's goons. They would threaten her, the family, and her team. They'd call in fake priority calls where her district would have to respond with lights and sirens. Anything to reproduce the night she'd been taken." The family had tried to convince Sara to take the week off every year after but Sara had refused. She didn't want him to win, and taking time off meant he'd won. He'd taken control of her life.

"And knowing Sara, she refuses to take the time off each year." Ava sighed heavily. "You know just after Christmas I had a flashback at work, I was so embarrassed when I came around and saw Sara sitting in front of me. She was so calm, so reassuring. She told me she'd been there and I'd thought that she was just being nice, trying to make me feel better, but she really did understand."

Laurel nodded. "Better than most. Her first year back was the worst, but Leonard had her back. He, Oliver, and Barry would screen her calls. Gideon made sure the dispatchers on patrol knew not to send any phone messages to Sara unless she specifically told them she was waiting for a call. Without a formulated plan, each one took it upon themselves to protect her."

Once again Ava found herself wiping at her tears. She loved the people that Sara surrounded herself with. "How bad is it now," Sara had been back to work for several years, but the state she was in today worried Ava.

"She gets better each year; there are still triggers but not as many as before. We can't control the criminals but most of the people in Damien's operation have disbanded. They didn't like the pressure of every single cop in Star City and surrounding cities looking for them and, after some cleanup in the DA's office, a judge had Damien moved to solitary confinement without visitation. The guards watching him were hand-picked and vetted by my dad. He's had no outside contact whatsoever. Even his medical visits are guarded." Her dad had made it his goal in life to make Damien's prison stint as miserable as possible. It was still a five-star resort compared to what Sara had been through but it was better than nothing.

"Have I mentioned how much I love your dad," Ava asked. The man never ceased to amaze her. Each encounter with him made her grow fonder of him.

"He's pretty amazing," Laurel agreed. "What Damien did to Sara took a toll on the entire family, he broke all of us in different ways. When Sara began to fight back, she set an example for all of us. In a way, he made us stronger. Closer."

Ava recalled her first hike with Sara. She'd told her that she'd been ready to end it but her family falling apart was what had pushed her toward the road to recovery. "She's incredible." She smiled down at the woman sleeping peacefully in her arms.

"She is." Laurel gave Ava a teary and proud smile. "I think her stressing about how she's going to tell you got her stuck in her head too long. When that happens she goes into that catatonic state she was in when he had her drugged. It's harder for her to come out of it. Her safe space doesn't feel real and feels like she's falling into a black hole." Outside of getting sick and the incident with Nora, Laurel hadn't seen her sister in such a state in a long while. "Be patient with her tomorrow. She may be short-tempered. She's not going to know how to bring up what we talked about. Don't shy away from the topic if it comes up. She needs to know that you can accept her even when she's at her worst."

"Of course, I accept her," Ava interjected. "I love her, all of her."

"I know you do Ava, and she loves you. But, when she gets like this, she begins to see herself as unworthy of that love. Remember when she was sick," she asked.

Ava nodded. "She said she felt like a burden after tough days."

"Exactly."

"Anything I should avoid," she asked. "Certain words, actions, inactions."

"A lot of it depends on her mood and emotional state. I know that doesn't help you, but you know her. You know how to comfort her, and you know when to take a step back. Don't take it personally if she snaps at you. Give her space but don't let her hide."

"How do I know if she's hiding," she asked. "She normally asks for space and a few minutes later she comes and finds me. Is there a time limit I'm looking for," she was afraid she'd miss a minor detail and Sara would isolate herself as she'd done in the beginning. Sara had told her she'd lock herself always, days or weeks at a time then.

"Watch how she interacts with the animals. If she asks for space and intentionally locks them out, then she's trying to hide. Even if it causes a fight, don't let her do that. It will do more harm in the long run." Their family had learned that lesson the hard way.

Ava nodded. "Thank you, Laurel. I know this wasn't easy for you." She reached out and took Laurel's hand in her own.

"I never want her to relive those horrific times, not if I can help it. I would do anything just to give her a moment's peace." She leaned against the back of the couch and watched her sister. "It's a good sign that she's been sleeping soundly this long. She'll be okay," she assured Ava.

"She will be." Ava concurred. "We'll make sure of it."

Laurel's phone buzzed in her pocket. She checked the message from her husband and smiled. "Mick is worried, is it okay if he comes over," Laurel asked. She'd been there several hours now and if she was honest with herself, she could really use a hug from her husband.

"Of course," Ava answered immediately. She was sure her partner was beside himself waiting to hear from his wife.

Laurel scooted closer to Ava and her sister. She laid her head against Ava's shoulder and watched her sister sleep.

Mick arrived thirty minutes later with bags of Chinese food from Sara's favorite restaurant. "Hi," he said quietly, setting the food on the table. "Come here, doll." He opened his arms wide for his wife to walk into.

Laurel wrapped her arms around him tightly and sighed. "I'm glad you're here. It never gets easier," she whispered.

Mick just held her. He knew the havoc reliving Sara's early years caused on the entire Lance family. "She's a fighter; it's in the Lance family blood."

After several minutes Laurel pulled away. "Ava, are you hungry," she asked.

"I could eat, it's been a while since lunch."

"Okay, you stay there, Mick and I are going to get us some plates and some water."

"Get a plate for Sara, you know she's going to wake up the minute we open up the containers and she smells food."

Both Mick and Laurel chuckled. "If that's not the most accurate thing I've ever heard." Ava knew his partner well.

Mick picked out a movie while Laurel opened the containers of food and began putting it on plates.

"That smells really good," Sara's tired voice had all three of them chuckling.

"You called it," Laurel tells Ava. "Mick got us Chinese, you feel up to some food," she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes please." She sat up, stretched, and then returned to her previous position, cuddled up against Ava. "Hi," she whispered.

Ava looked down and smiled. "Hi." With her free hand, she caressed Sara's cheek. "You with me," she wanted to gauge where Sara's head was.

Sara thought about it for half a minute before nodding. "I think so, for now at least," she finished hesitantly. She didn't know what tomorrow would bring.

"One step at a time." Ava reminded her just as she'd done for her many times in the past.

"Are you with me," Sara asked in return. She hadn't missed the pained look in Ava's eyes.

Ava smiled. "Every step of the way, come hell or high waters." She leaned down placing a soft kiss on Sara's lips.

A/N: This was a difficult chapter to write, but it needed to be done. To put everyone at ease, I will not be giving Damien a redemption arc. He can rot in his cell. I know some of you think that's too good for him but, fear not, I have a plan!