Elizabeth sat on the edge of her empty bed and wiped a tear from her cheek! She hadn't wanted it to fall. She'd tried holding it in. God knows she'd tried. And she had done a pretty good job too. Week after week. Month after month. But all it took was that single tear to escape, to break free of the barricades and the rest followed. Her sobs held no sound. The room remained as silent as it had been every night she'd spent there alone. The shudder of her body and the tiny drops of salty water dripping onto her bare legs were the only signs that her resolve had crumbled.
She absentmindedly twisted the engagement ring on her finger and her mind wandered back to the night Henry had put it there. And the following days spent at the cabin. Laughing, talking, making love endlessly, just being perfectly together. It seemed like a lifetime ago. If only she could leap headfirst back into that memory.
To begin with, the separation had been hard on both of them. They missed each other desperately but with Henry being accepted to flight training and Elizabeth needing to study hard in order to graduate, they barely had any time together. When they did manage to be in the same place at the same time, they filled that time having sex, seeming like it was the only way they could stay connected when in the same room. Conversations between the pair sometimes felt forced, like they almost had to work at what to say to each other, so it almost always ended up becoming a physical reunion as it just seemed easier that way, but once they were done, the doubt about what the future would hold was still present.
Neither one of them wanted to voice their anguish over being apart, not wanting to bring the mood down so they stayed silent. Both trying to stay strong for the other when in fact it was pushing them further apart. Elizabeth felt as if the old relationship with Henry was slipping further away, and along with it had gone the fun and laughter they once shared, the ease of it and the comfort he had provided. It was terrifying. She often naively wondered if they would ever get back to the few carefree days that they had shared in that beautiful cabin.
Elizabeth had received notification of a court date to end her marriage to Jake and the very first thing she had wanted to do was tell Henry. She was over the moon when she had called him but she hadn't been able to get hold of him and it wasn't really a message she felt she could leave for someone else to deliver. As the days went on, the excitement wore off and the nerves began to creep in, slowly taking over her thoughts. What if I'm not granted the divorce?
About a week and a half after she had received the court date, Henry and Elizabeth had finally spoken on the telephone. Henry was livid, hijacking the conversation as he told her about something that had happened on base with another Marine in his group. This Marine had ended up costing Henry and the rest of his troop a flying ban until they retook a certain test and she thought it best to keep the news of the court hearing to herself. She didn't want to be a distraction and had told him all along that she'd deal with it herself — So that's just what she'd have to do.
The only problem was, now the day had arrived, she'd never felt so alone. She wanted him there with her, she needed his strength, his comfort — She just needed him there beside her. As she tied her hair back and looked in the mirror to apply her makeup, her reliance on Henry hit her hard. She was starting to worry — what if he never came home? She hadn't allowed herself to think like that in a while and she silently chided herself as she finished getting ready.
Her heels were clicking on the path as she nervously paced up and down outside the courtroom. She'd spoken to Jake the previous week and he'd managed to get a day's leave in order to get things sorted out once and for all. As strange as it was, considering why they were there in the first place, when she saw him approaching, she felt somehow comforted by his presence. When he smiled at her she was reminded of how good it used to be between them and how he used to make her feel.
He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek, The oh so familiar scent of him assaulting her senses. "Elizabeth — It's good to see you. Are you ok?"
"Honestly? I've been better. I don't know what to expect, Jake and I'm so nervous." She felt nauseous and she just wanted Henry with her to ground her, to hold her hand. She was still the fiercely independent woman she'd always been but she needed her other half to keep her steady.
"Just agree with everything that I put on the paperwork. It's gonna be ok, I promise." Jake gave her hand a squeeze, trying to offer some reassurance "Is Henry not here?" He pondered as he looked around for him.
She gently shook her head "We thought it would be best, under the circumstances, for him to stay away." She figured that would offer the best explanation, but not all that sure why she was lying. She felt guilty that he wasn't there and that he had no clue what was happening today. There wasn't much she could do about it now though.
"Okay then — Shall we get this over with?"
They sat in the courtroom and the rather churlish looking judge fired questions at them both. Jake admitted that he had only wanted to marry Elizabeth to secure married quarters for himself and that he'd merely been using her as a means to an end. He also added that she had been far too drunk to make a conscious choice and therefore he couldn't have been sure if marriage was indeed what she wanted.
Elizabeth was struggling to listen to the way Jake spoke about her. She was unsure why she felt so upset about it. Maybe it was the way he managed to be so blasé about the whole thing or it could have been the way it came across but it made her wonder if Jake had ever really loved her at all. She recalled a heated conversation she'd had with Henry when he'd said that very thing - He never loved you Elizabeth, not like I do anyway.
The judge's voice pulled her back from her thoughts. "After careful consideration, I believe you were an innocent party here Miss Adams and were unscrupulously taken advantage of. I therefore grant an annulment on these grounds. Do either of you have any questions?"
"What does that mean exactly?" Elizabeth hadn't wanted to speak for fear of breaking down, but needed clarification.
"It means, Miss Adams, that your marriage is not seen as being legally valid. In other words, it never existed. Does that clarify things?"
"So — Are we divorced? Or were we never married in the first place? I'm sorry Sir — I'm a little confused."
The Judge's demeanour softened "An annulment means the marriage is null and void Miss Adams — You are not divorced because you were never married now that it has legally been annulled. I hope that explains it for you?"
She nodded furiously "Yes, thank you."
A whole onslaught of emotions hit her at once, relief that it was over, guilt that Henry wasn't there and doubt about Jake's feelings towards her. Standing on her feet as the Judge left the courtroom she felt her legs shaking, she was spiralling and needed to get outside before she passed out. She felt so alone in that moment, and she had nobody to hug, there was no one to celebrate with, provide comfort or even just understand how she felt.
She managed to get outside before she broke down, collapsing onto the cold concrete steps of the courthouse. Her whole body was trembling and the tears flowed so easily.
Jake cautiously approached her "Hey — Elizabeth please! I never could stand to see you cry — Come on." He was in two minds whether to comfort her or keep his distance, but he couldn't fight the need to hold her, so pulled her into a tight hug. "It's all over now."
"I'm so confused. All those things you said in there — Did you ever love me at all?" She prised herself out of his arms and stepped back.
"Of course I loved you — I was heartbroken when I left you that day, but we weren't right together. And everything I said in there was for you Elizabeth." He was a little insulted by her words but hated how broken she looked.
"Then why do I feel like my heart's just been ripped out?"
"Because you're a beautiful person and this whole thing has been tough — But this is good news Elizabeth, a fresh start for both of us. I've noticed that ring on your finger — Go and marry Henry."
"I don't even know if that's what he still wants any more — Nothing's working out the way it's meant to and I don't know what to do."
"I hate that I have to say this — But you and Henry can't exist without each other. I've seen it for myself. So whatever's going on between you, you need to sort it out because if you guys don't make it, I'm not sure there's any hope for the rest of us."
"It's just not the same anymore, it's not easy"
"Oh, come on. You're an incredibly smart girl — you know that relationships take work. It won't ever be like it was before, especially after he's deployed but you'll find a way to adapt, to make it work" Jakes words shook Elizabeth, it helped reawaken her desire to see Henry. She knew all of that, she just needed to hear it from a third party. She never thought that Jake would be the one to say it though.
"Jake — You know I never cheated on you right? It's important to me that you believe that. I would have made things work between us, no matter what." Her voice was warm and soft as she spoke to him. She remembered how desperately she had tried to make it work even though it was so wrong. She knew in that moment she could easily make it work with Henry, she just needed to see him.
"Elizabeth, I know you didn't and I also know how hard you tried. But you were — are — so desperately in love with Henry, it would have destroyed you eventually and I couldn't do that to you." He pulled her back in for another hug, holding her that little bit tighter "You deserve to be happy, Now I really have to go."
"I guess this is goodbye then! You take care of yourself, okay Jake. Thank you for loving me." She didn't care that her tears were now flowing again.
"It's impossible not to love you Elizabeth Adams — Go and change the world." He pressed one more kiss against her cheek and got into his car, winding down the window "And Elizabeth — If you want him, go and get him."
Elizabeth had no idea what to do. She loved Henry with her whole heart, and she wanted to see him. She needed to tell him what had happened today, she was finally free of her past. The biggest obstacle of all had been removed and there was no good reason for them not to get married before he was deployed. She threw a load of clothes in a bag and jumped into her car. She needed reassurance that Henry still wanted this, and that she was still the future he saw.
The plan had been to go straight to Henry in Florida. Elizabeth hadn't really thought it through all that well but couldn't stay in their apartment alone any longer. The place had been so silent and almost like a prison, she had to break free. She seemed to be on autopilot, driving through the tears and the tiredness, only stopping for bathroom breaks and copious amounts of coffee.
She had no clue how she'd got there or why she had, but as she pulled up outside Henry's childhood home in Pittsburgh — She just knew she needed to see Marie.
She sat in the car for a while, not quite sure what to do. It was almost 10pm, She hadn't phoned, and had only met Patrick fleetingly. She summoned up the courage and made it to the front door, knocking lightly, almost afraid that someone would answer. Patrick McCord pulled the door open and stood looking at the young girl.
"Can I help you?"
"Ummm — Is Marie here please?" Elizabeth could feel her nerves devouring her and could barely speak.
"Who wants to know?"
"I — I'm — It doesn't matter — I'm sorry I bothered you — I'm so sorry." She turned and ran down the steps and back to her car.
"Marie — There's a strange girl looking for you! You'd better come here." He called through to the kitchen and Marie hurried through.
"Who's looking for me? — And is she invisible?"
"She's just got into her car — Out there."
Marie approached the car and couldn't believe it when she laid eyes on Elizabeth. She pulled the door open and Elizabeth burst into tears upon seeing Marie. Marie was like a mother to her, and she had provided her with so much love and support when Henry had left the first time and seeing Marie at her car door brought it all back. The day's emotions finally escaping Elizabeth's tiny frame.
"Oh sweetheart — Come on now! Out you get." She put her arm around Elizabeth gently and led her into the house and sat her down on the couch.
"Who is she?" Patrick, still standing in the doorway, was now incredibly confused.
"Elizabeth, Henry's fiancée and she's clearly very upset so keep it shut and get her some water."
"That's Elizabeth?"
Marie shook her head at her husband "You met her when Henry graduated from basic training. Honestly Patrick — You play on my last nerve at times."
"I've met a lot of people Marie! And oddly enough I don't remember all of them."
"Elizabeth isn't just anybody! She's the girl Henry loves so it might be a good idea for you to at least remember who she is!" Marie's sharp tone put him firmly in his place.
"Well — What's she doing here anyway?" Patrick couldn't quite believe what was happening, but this was most out of the ordinary.
"Go and get her a glass of water and I will find out."
Marie sat next to Elizabeth and took her in her arms, holding her while she cried. She had come to look upon the girl as a surrogate daughter and couldn't stand seeing her in such a state.
"Are you going to tell me what this is all about my sweet?"
"I've had a really weird day and have felt so many different emotions all at once. I'm so tired, exhausted actually" Elizabeth relaxed into Marie finally feeling tension leave her body.
"What happened?"
"I think Henry needs to know first, if that's ok?" Elizabeth was fidgeting, gently caressing her shirt between her fingertips "That is — If he still wants me" Elizabeth began to cry again "He doesn't love me anymore — I've lost him Marie and I don't know what to do. What we had has gone. It's so hard when we see each other now."
"Oh I don't believe that for a second — Of course he loves you! Now, have you eaten anything today?"
Elizabeth just shook her head "No — I'm not hungry."
"Alright my sweet. You can sleep in Henry's old room tonight, but only if you eat something first. Henry will have me strung up if I don't take care of you. Now come on, I'll make you an omelette and we will talk things through in the morning."
Elizabeth managed a few mouthfuls before sheer exhaustion and the emotion of the day began to take over. She was feeling nauseous and her head was pounding.
"I'm sorry Marie, I can't manage any more. I'm so tired and I'm not feeling too well."
"Let's get you to bed sweetheart — You've had quite a day it seems."
Marie led Elizabeth up the stairs and showed her into Henry's room. She glanced around but her eyes were too tired to take in her surroundings, yet she somehow felt closer to Henry. "I'm so sorry for just showing up like this — It just felt right somehow."
"Oh hush now Elizabeth - You're always welcome here. You're family. Now get some rest and we'll figure everything out in the morning." She gave the young girl a gentle squeeze and closed the door behind her.
Elizabeth dropped her clothes to the floor, pulled on Henry's Marine sweatshirt and wearily climbed into bed. His scent had faded somewhat from the fabric, but it was still present enough to soothe her and as thoughts of Henry filled her head once more, she allowed sleep to claim her.