"What happened?" Marlowe said to no one in particular.
"I don't know," Juliet said, breathlessly, craning her neck to see what was happening in the room. She watched the doctors and nurses hustle around her partner, one nurse taking scissors and sloppily cutting the hair on one side of Carlton's head. She held Marlowe's shoulders tightly to keep her back facing the room.
A nurse walked out of the room a few minutes later and motioned for Juliet and Marlowe to follow her into a waiting room at the end of the hallway.
"I know that was overwhelming," the nurse said when they sat down.
"What happened?" Juliet asked. She looked over and saw Marlowe staring blankly at the white wall behind the nurse.
"That was his body's way of reacting to the increased pressure inside his skull," she said calmly. "We were able to stabilize him at the moment with medications. However, his pressure could continue to rise based on the location of the stroke and how much of his brain was affected."
"So now what?" Juliet said, desperation leaking into her voice. She could feel her stomach flipping upside-down, unsure she wanted an answer.
"We are going to take him to get a monitor placed in his head to measure the pressure inside his skull."
"So you're just gonna watch it?" Juliet asked inquisitively.
"I know it seems like we're not doing anything, but if we can just monitor him while he gets better on his own, we don't have to start more aggressive procedures and treatments."
"Okay." Juliet heard a little voice whisper. She turned and saw Marlowe visibly distressed, still watching the wall.
"Let's go downstairs," Juliet said, placing a hand on Marlowe's shoulder and guiding her out of the room. She needed to be away from here. "We can go wait with Chief Vick and Shawn."
"We'll come get you when the surgery is over," the nurse said.
Juliet just nodded as she led Marlowe to the elevator.
"Is he gonna die?" Marlowe asked when the door closed, arms folded tightly over her stomach.
"Marlowe, you can't think like that," Juliet said out loud. She tried to sound confident. She tried to sound more optimistic than she felt. More reassuring than she felt.
She tried to quiet the voice of the realist. The voice that was screaming at her, Yes. He is definitely going to die. He already looks like death and he keeps getting worse!
"Shawn!" Juliet said when they made it to the waiting room where they had spent the morning.
Juliet watched Shawn's eyes take Marlowe in quickly and look back at her with concern. "What happened?" he mouthed to Juliet, wide-eyed.
Juliet let Chief Vick take Marlowe's arm and sit her down in a seat before falling into Shawn's arms.
"I don't know," Juliet said, replaying everything over in her head. "He started freaking out. They took him to get some sort of monitor in his brain so they can watch the pressures. I think?"
Shawn rubbed his face. "C'mon Lassie," he said under his breath.
Juliet leaned against his shoulder and listened to his chest. She listened to his heart beating and felt grateful for its ability to move blood through his body. She felt grateful that he was standing with her, grateful for him being with her. He was her rock. He had been for so long. She didn't know how she would be doing without him.
"So, now what?" Shawn said, leaning back to look at her.
"I guess we wait?" Juliet said, slowly letting go of her husband and sitting down next to Marlowe and Chief. Shawn sat down next to her and grabbed her hand. She smiles softly to herself, not sure who needed the hand more- her or Shawn. She knew he was nervous. She knew that despite her partner and her husband's complicated relationship, they had grown to care for each other, even if it was spiteful at times. She didn't exactly know everything that had happened around her when she was sick, especially right before her surgery when she was particularly out of it, but she could tell that at some point they had learned to lean on each other.
The four finally settled in their seats, silently watching people passing by for the second time that day. The sun had risen over the building and the blaring light from the morning had dimmed as the afternoon rolled in.
"Shawn!" They turned to see Gus walking in through the front door, carrying a few brown paper bags.
"Hey, man," Shawn said, jumping up and patting Gus on the shoulder.
"Selene sends her love." Gus had met Selene at a space convention that he went to in San Francisco last year and about eight days later she had moved down to Santa Barbara to be with him. The pair had become quickly inseparable. She was a little bit insane sometimes, but with all the time Shawn and Gus spent together while Juliet played third wheel, it was nice to have another female to talk to and they became quick friends.
"Marlowe, how are you doing?" Gus asked, leaning over to hug her.
"I… I…" Marlowe stuttered over her words. "I don't know."
"That's okay," Gus said, pulling out some food from the paper bags. "Would food help? I imagined it's been a while since you ate."
"It might," Marlowe said, smiling and gratefully accepting a sandwich and cookie from Gus.
Juliet felt her stomach grumble at the thought of food then flip over again. She hadn't eaten since that morning, and yet despite losing her breakfast hours ago the thought of eating made her feel even more nauseous. It's just nerves. But he'll be okay. She reminded herself, rubbing her stomach and leaning over onto Shawn's shoulder who was happily eating his lunch from Gus.
"Shawn told me that they are putting in a monitor to check the pressure in his brain," Gus said, taking a seat across from them and pulling out food of his own.
Gus started going through medications used for strokes and why they were given. Marlowe was staring intensely at him, trying to take in every word. She looked less confused than she had when they had been talking to the doctor earlier.
Juliet was grateful Gus was there. He was their insight into the medical world. He had helped her so much when she was sick. Between his knowledge of what was actually happening and his ability to stay calm in nearly any situation (as long as there wasn't a dead body involved), he could make everything seem less scary for them.
Eventually, the nurse who had been talking to them earlier walked down the hall towards the group. Marlowe jumped up when she saw the nurse.
"Is he okay?" she asked immediately before the nurse could speak.
"He is. We successfully placed the monitor. He is stable in the ICU now. You may come up and see him now."
Marlowe looked over at Juliet who stood up to follow her in response. She knew Marlowe didn't want to be alone, and she didn't want to leave her alone.
"I'll be right back," Juliet whispered to Shawn as she got up, letting her hand fall slowly out of Shawn's fingers, afraid to let go.
They followed the nurse back into the elevator as she had already begun to speak.
"Now, we did intubate him and heavily sedate him while he was in surgery. The goal is for his brain to rest and heal, which happens best when his body isn't having to keep up with the demands of normal living. So we put him to sleep and put in a breathing tube so he doesn't have to breathe on his own."
Juliet nodded and watched Marlowe do the same as they stepped out into the ICU hallway. The monitor's ringing was immediately apparent when they stepped off the elevator. They were about to walk into the room when Marlowe's phone began ringing loudly over the monitors. Juliet looked over her shoulder when she pulled it out of her pocket.
"Little Ducklings Preschool" flashed across the screen with a picture of Lily on the playground in the background.
"Oh my gosh!" Marlowe said, looking up. "Lily! We have to pick up Lily from preschool." Neither of them realized how much time had actually passed.
"It's okay," Juliet said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay to stay here? We can go get her. You just be here with Carlton."
"Yes, thank you, Juliet." Juliet patted Marlowe on the back and watched Marlowe follow the nurse into Carlton's room.
She took one last look at Marlowe disappearing into the room before turning around to get back on the wood-paneled elevator.