Unable to hold it off any longer, Buffy faced her walk of shame fate as they exited Angel's bedroom. Connor literally had a bowl of popcorn in his lap looking like he'd just been sitting there all night and all morning waiting for her to reappear and Angel was absolutely no help, leaving her there alone with him to let Roxie out then said he needed to pee, too.
"Fancy seeing you here this morning," Connor smiled in that perfectly playful yet evil way he did better than anyone she'd ever known.
"Connor," she greeted, feeling the flames all over her skin. "Good morning... what are you up to?" she tried.
"I think that's a much more interesting question to direct your way, hmm?" he answered, his smile somehow growing even bigger as he leaned back more comfortably into the couch. "Is there anything you'd care to share with the class about what's going on with you?"
"Connor, mind your own business," Jenny chastised as she stepped into the room. "Good morning, Buffy," she smiled, "If you're hungry I left you and Angel a couple of plates in the microwave. They might still be a little warm but probably could use a little heating up."
Connor held a hand out in front of him, "Oh, sure. Like that's not everyone's business," he argued. "I have questions!"
"Connor, stop pestering my girlfriend before I come over there and smack you," Angel's voice surprised her from behind. She wasn't sure who's eyes widened the most, Connor's or hers, but before anyone could say anything else, Angel's hand tangled up with hers and he started leading her away while her heart leapt its way into her throat.
OoOoO
Sure that she wouldn't be able to get much of anything done today even if she tried, Buffy went ahead rescheduled everything she had planned to instead get done tomorrow. Angel grumbled at the idea but she reminded him that meant he could have her all day today if he so wished, and while she may wind up with a full day's work for tomorrow he was free to come keep her company.
"Fine, fine," he grumbled, swiping another piece of bacon from her plate. "Well then, what do you want to do today, Pretty Girl?"
"I'm sure I should probably say some big adventure or something but really I think I just want to hang out around here... maybe go for a drive later... do a raincheck on what we missed out on last night if we're up to it later?"
"We can do that. I can't make any promises about either of my brother's behavior during that time however."
Lindsey had already hightailed it next door to keep working on the dock and whatever else he decided to rope Hank into next but Connor was more than happy to learn Buffy was going to be spending the day at the house. Whatever plans he had set up no longer mattered, roping her into a walk down memory lane when he asked if she wanted him to break out their classic Nintendo console.
"I am fairly certain I have not even played a single video game since I'd moved, oh gosh," Buffy laughed as he came running back to sit beside her, reminding her of the little boy she used to know. This had always been their thing since she managed to show up both Lindsey and Angel and he liked the challenge, she didn't know how many hours of her life had been dedicated to battling it out with him but it sure hadn't been enough. "This is terrible!" she whined after falling into nearly last place their first go around with Mario Kart.
"Looks like somebody needs some practice," Connor goaded.
The third time she wound up cussing out the screen Connor completely lost it and took her right down with him. Jenny just sat in her chair shaking her head, trying not to laugh her own self. Handing the controller back off to Angel for him to take a turn she growled at Connor, promising she'd get back to her former glory. "Just give me time!"
OoOoO
Forcing Lindsey to take another break, he handed the oldest of the kids from next door a sandwich and a new bottle of water. Hank watched as Lindsey's eyes drifted back to his front door for probably the fiftieth time before asking if maybe he wanted to change their plans, take the boat out for a couple hours or something.
Lindsey shook his head. "No matter where I go, all this shit is coming with me so it don't really matter," he grumbled. "Might as well be productive while I'm figuring shit out. Maybe some distance wouldn't be so bad right now though, makes it a little less likely I'll just up and storm over there and start yelling at all of them some more," he chuckled.
Hank shrugged, taking a bite of his own sandwich. "Maybe that's what you need to do."
"Maybe," Lindsey agreed. "Seems every time I even start trying to say anything to anyone over there it just boils over, by the end of it I wind up with more to be pissed off about than what I started out with."
Sighing, he looked down at his shoes, trying to mentally even list all the shit he needed to get off his chest. How terrified he was of Angel winding up like he was when she left, that he needed it to be pointed out he was the fucking reason in the first place Angel started doubting which school to go to, worrying over both of them being that far from Mom and Connor… the universe didn't fucking revolve around her even though that was how she liked to think whenever Angel was involved. How his dumbass did nothing but feed into her shit, instead of just coming out and being honest about what he wanted and the reasons behind it.
Under it all he loved that girl too, but he wasn't scared to call her out whenever she was starting to become too much of a handful. The whole baby situation was messing with him too. He was still having a hard time wrapping his mind around what happened, and how she hadn't even fucking bothered to tell them. Especially since it was no damn secret how much his moron of brother wanted one, had even practically declared that they were trying for such in the months before everything went to hell, despite him and his mom's interjections that they were still too young. He needed to know what the plan was here. If this was all just some pit stop while she figured out where she was going next. Wanted to know not only if she was capable of forgiving Angel, but had grown up enough to see her own hand in the fucking mess.
"They weren't even speaking a week ago, and now he has her staying the damn night like the last three years never even fuckin' happened."
"Now," Hank said, shaking his head. "I hardly think the two of them have moved past everything that easily."
"Ya, well, how do you explain it then?"
Hank's own eyes drifted to the porch across the way. "I don't know. But those two have always had a way with one another that none of us ever seemed to understand. I never thought I would be the type of father letting my teenage daughter have her boyfriend sleep over or vice versa, until I was. They were young Lindsey-"
"Too damn young." Lindsey said, trading the water Hank brought him back for the beer he'd been nursing.
"Maybe so… But they're not those same kids anymore. I know you have your own set of issues with Buffy to deal with, but just try not to forget that she has a good heart. From what I've gathered it seems both of them had their parts in hurting each other. I know some of the choices she made probably weren't the best ones, but you should try to remember that for her, nobody's more important than Angel. She's not cruel, she wouldn't hurt him on purpose."
"I know that!"
At his tone Hank's brows rose. "Well just make sure you remember it whenever you decide to go confrontin' 'em."
OoOoO
Jenny leaned across the small island in the kitchen. She had waited up for a while last night hoping to get a few words with Buffy until it became clear that the girl wasn't going anywhere. "So you and Angel seem to be…"
Buffy felt that familiar heat crawling back into her skin, as much as she was dreading Lindsey and all his bullshit, having Jenny call her out wasn't exactly unexpected. "We're weren't, I mean we're not… we were just talking."
"Mmm, did I hear him call you his girlfriend earlier?"
"He did." Taking a seat across from her, Buffy waited while Jenny poured her a glass of lemonade. Somehow the woman always had a way of pulling the teenage girl right back out of her. "I know it probably doesn't make sense. I haven't been back here very long, and me and Angel have been… I dunno, trying to figure things out for even less. But we talked through some of the tougher things last night-"
"Buffy. Honey, I am not here to judge how quickly you two repair things. I just want to make sure that the two of you aren't diving back into this thing blindly. You're still young, whether or not either of you like to hear me say it. Maybe not as young as you once were, but I don't want to see either of you hurt again. I don't want to lose you again. The two of you have always beat to the path of your own drums no matter what me or your dad or anyone else had to say about it. I have to admit it makes me feel better knowing that last night only consisted of talking because I think that is something the two of you need to do a lot of. There's a bunch of things that Angel needs to understand, and there's some stuff that you need to hear also."
Never had she wished for Angel's presence more than right then. Normally she had no problem talking to Jenny, about anything. But everything from this morning was still pretty fresh, and honestly until walking in here she had been doing a good job of ignoring it. Though there was no use lying to Jenny or not putting it all out on the table so to speak. Angel wasn't the only one who deserved an apology or explanation from her, and if she could get it all over and done with today then, well she might as well get it over with. "I asked him about Darla."
Despite how much she was trying to keep her emotions in check, she could feel hot tears pooling in her eyes. "And it kind of made me realize how some of my choices made him feel. I never meant to hurt him, Jenny… and even though I tried, I never stopped loving him."
Whatever Jenny had been about to say was cut short when Angel suddenly appeared in the kitchen. Immediately wishing he could take back his choice of coming to look for her, he knew his mom and everyone else in the damn house had things they needed to say too, he just wished it didn't have to be today. This morning had been rough, and he had hoped that they could avoid any more heavy topics for the rest of the afternoon.
"You okay," he asked, coming up behind the barstool she was in to slip his arms around her. If he had to pick he supposed his mom was a better option than his brother at the moment, but even though she would never tear into her like Linds might, he knew what the woman was capable of.
Buffy nodded against him, "We were just talking… about last night."
"Anything I need to chime in on?" He could feel her fingers digging into his forearm, and nearly breathed a sigh of relief at the silent act. Once upon a time they had faced all of these conversations together, and it was nice to feel like they were starting to get back there.
"Buffy was just filling me in…" Before the next words even left her mouth, Buffy spotted the old twinkle in her eye. Even though she was Angel's mom she never made her feel like she was taking sides. "Do I need to start buying you condoms again?"
Buffy couldn't help but laugh, it was one of the reasons why she loved Jenny so much. The woman had absolutely no qualms about embarrassing the hell out of either one of them.
"Now exactly what did you go and tell her we were up to last night?" Angel asked, pulling his head back.
OoOoO
In one of those rare moments she seemed to be having alone with Connor while Jenny and Angel went to go check on things outside, Buffy propped her elbow up on the back of the couch and looked over at him. "Given how this day is going for me, is there anything you feel you need to get off your chest towards me, too?"
Connor looked over at her and thought about it for a moment. "Not really. I mean, nothing I can really add to what I know everyone else is going to get through so no use piling it on. I just missed ya and am glad you're back."
"That's it?"
"Mmm, pretty much," he answered. "I was excited when I saw you over here for the first time, and unlike everyone else I was kind of amused by the whole Riley guy situation. No offense, I might have tried to rope Lindsey into some scheme to break y'all up and thought it would be interesting if you and Angel worked your shit out. He wasn't amused but he also wasn't as crabby as he is right now. I'm pretty open to the whole forgive and forget shit more than anyone else around here I think. I missed you, it hurt and there was anger at the situation, but no use dwelling in it forever, you know? Not going to help a damn thing."
OoOoO
Leading them away from where Jenny and Hank were talking up a storm, Lindsey turned around, wiping his hands off before tossing the towel off to the side. "You want to tell me what in the hell you think you're doing?"
"What do you mean?" Angel sighed.
"What the hell do you think I mean? You and her... all hanging around her like some damn attention craved puppy dog like damn Roxie or some shit. Running around together until all hours of the night, being all buddy buddy with one another, her fucking spending the night last night? Any of that ringing any bells?"
"Nice to see how you see me, Linds, as always."
His shoulders shrugged. "Calling it how I see it, kid."
Angel's jaw clenched, looking back to their mom who gave a little smile and wave. "Not that it's any of your business... but nothing really even happened last night. We're not over here rushing to jump into trying to fuck each others brains out or some shit like that, just trying to figure things out after everything that happened and where to go from here."
"I don't see how it's not my business," Lindsey shot back. "Oh, or do you not remember how you fucking lost it the last time she decided to fuck your life up? Or how I'm the only one who even noticed how bad off you were until it was almost too late? Huh? Am I not the one who had to chase you around while you were drinking your problems away, taking anything you happened to come across, then watching as you finally seemed to crack? It's not my business when I had to practically give up my life to come watch you like a hawk because I was scared to death you were going to decide to do something real fucking stupid to yourself? But it's okay, she can just show the fuck up after all this time like it's nothing and... what? What even is the fucking plan? She just slumming it here for awhile? Using you to feel better about herself? Do you even know or fucking care enough to wonder? Because I doubt it."
Angel pinched the bridge of his nose, trying real hard not to engage in this fight, or skip the yelling and go straight to punching him in the fucking face.
He knew Lindsey made some valid points in all the shit he had been saying since the moment she showed her face in town again as much as he hated to admit it, but he hated that Lindsey refused to even budge even more, open his mind a little.
"I get you are the one person who never wanted to tell me I fucked up, you're the one person who never made me feel like they blamed me for what happened with her, but I did, Linds. I messed up, I messed up in the worst way I could have. She absolutely made bad choices, too, and as she will admit her own damn self she's starting to realize that. She refused to see it back then but I can't do anything about that. But I still messed shit up that night. And I didn't know how to cope with any that, not for a long time, and you know what maybe for the rest of my life I won't ever fully forgive myself but I stopped being as much of a trainwreck, right? Along the way I figured out how to function again and-"
"Yeah, you did. And excuse me if I can see how it can all be pissed right back away if she decides to-"
"And what if she doesn't? What if all that anger and worry and everything boiling inside of you is for nothing? What if I can have a second damn chance at everything I ever wanted?"
Lindsey just grunted a noise of utter frustration at him at first. "You just don't get it."
OoOoO
"What do you think about all of this?"
Jenny smiled, holding her hand up to shield the sun from getting in her eyes. "I think that they're giving me a severe case of whiplash."
Hank nodded in agreement, he could drink to that. "I'm starting to feel like I don't even know which way is up right about now."
"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think any of us do."
OoOoO
"I take it things didn't go swimmingly over there?" Buffy asked when Angel finally returned.
"Work in progress," he said in a tight voice.
"Want to talk about it?"
"Not really, at least not right now," he answered before leaning over to drop her a quick kiss. "I think I might go take a shower real quick though if that's alright? Connor's not in here giving you too much trouble is he?"
Buffy shook her head. "No more than usual."
OoOoO
It was taking a whole lot of effort for her to not go following him into the bathroom. She could tell that something was bothering him. She had peeked out the window a couple of times, and nearly taken off right outside when she spotted Lindsey tugging him over to the corner of the yard. The only thing that had stopped her were Connor's words, reminding her that her time with his older brother was coming, and no good would come out of trying to reel it in any faster. She'd let it go, but seeing the way Angel looked when he came in was making her heart start to ache all over again.
It was true she had a lot of making up to do with all the people of this house, but no one more than him. She didn't quite understand how she had come so far in just a few short days, but she was tired of second guessing every move she made. She wasn't sure what the right decision was anymore, or how they were supposed to navigate this brand new relationship. What moving too fast meant, or should mean between them, when for most of her life he had been the center of her world. A lot of things seemed to snap into place after their talk this morning, and if there was anything she was ready for, it was to remind him just how in love with him she really was.
More than anything she wished she could erase Riley from her past, hop in that time machine that would be oh so convenient at a time like now, and go back to that first night she let him kiss her, and change it all. But she couldn't, all she could do was change the now, she couldn't take back all the times Riley had seen or touched her body, but she could make sure that Angel knew he was the only one who ever would again. His words from this morning kept repeating in her mind. How everything they still wanted was right here in front of them, how the only thing standing in their way was each other. All they had to do was take that step, and the future was theirs.
After telling Connor that she would be right back, she found herself walking down the hall. Arguing with herself the entire time, she honestly wasn't sure what her plan was, but soon enough she found herself outside of the bathroom door. At one time her coming into the bathroom while he was in the shower hadn't been any big deal, even before things really took off between them, it wouldn't have been unusual to find her sitting up on the sink planning out their day, or passing him a towel before he stepped out. Those were the memories she clung to when hand lightly knocked against the hardwood, and then again when she felt the cool metal nob give way in her hand.
OoOoO
Turning the water on, Angel stepped out of his shoes and socks and emptied his pockets but otherwise didn't even bother getting undressed before he stepped in under the hot spray, allowing himself to get soaked before he sighed. Lindsey was doing a damn good job in his attempt to knock him down from the high he'd been on after everything with Buffy. The exhaustion from walking around on eggshells around both of them was starting to take its toll. He understood where his brother was coming from, he did, the problem was that Linds refused to at the very least give Buffy a chance. Even though he knew it would never come down to it, he couldn't seem to shake the feeling that he was being forced into a choice, one that he wasn't sure he would ever be able to make.
"Angel?"
Her soft voice floated to his ears, and for a second he thought he had imagined the whole damn thing. Until he dared to turn his head, and found her standing right there. He would have recognized the look in her eyes even if another hundred years had passed. In that moment he felt something snap, those fragments of control he'd been so carefully juggling come crashing down.
One second he was staring at her, wondering how she just magically appeared, and then what felt like in the same breath he was crushing her against him, pulling her right under the hot spray with him dress and all. He didn't give a fuck what Lindsey or anyone else thought. They weren't the ones that mattered, they hadn't had their fucking hearts ripped out, or found out they had fathered a child. The weight of the last three years was finally winning out, he just needed to feel her against him. Needed to remember what it felt like to truly lose control.
He needed her.
There was no time for words, as far as he was concerned everything that needed to be said had been done so this morning. He loved her, and there was nothing she could say that would ever change his mind. He was tired of living in the fucking past, and he was sure he wouldn't have been able to manage it for another minute more.
She had just been about to ask him what in the world he was doing standing there in clothes, but she never got the chance because the next thing she was aware of was his lips pressing against hers. A small gasp escaped her when the water poured down, but he'd simply taken the opportunity to press his tongue against hers. With every touch of his lips, every feel of his hands against her, all the worries she had been so held up on slowly slipped away.
Everything was a blur, the rush of hands, tugging of wet stubborn clothing flying through the air. She wasn't sure how he managed to shimmy out of his soaked jeans, but soon the thought no longer mattered, because everything between was gone.
"I fucking need you," were the only words he uttered before she jumped up to wrap her legs around his slick waist. Already knowing that he would catch her no matter what. They had managed some daring positions in the past, and she had no doubt that he could handle this now. Even if they were to go tumbling to the floor, she knew he would do everything to save her from the fall.
As much as he wanted to drag this out, to worship her in all the ways he had spent so much time dreaming about, he knew it wasn't going to be the case, not right here, not right now. Besides, he knew there would be plenty of time for that later. It had been too long, his limits had already snapped. One hand around her hips, he braced the other on the wall behind her, leaving it up to her to reach between them, then hissing out a string of long curses when her small hand finally found its way around his throbbing member. Buffy's eyes remained locked with his as she guided him into position, a million unsaid words staring back at him.
Buried to the hilt in her warmth, Angel temporarily lost faith in his ability to keep them upright, his legs threatening to give out from under him. Going three days without being inside of her used to feel like a lifetime, three years without getting to experience this came through with a vengeance. His vision clouded with random bursts of color, for a moment he wasn't sure he could remember how to breathe, and his body wanted to fall to pieces at even the first contact.
It was a damn miracle he didn't just shoot off right there and then.
Buffy massaged at the tense muscles of his shoulders as he tried to gain at least some semblance of control back, never daring to take her eyes away from his face until she whispered for him to kiss her. Never one to deny her of anything, his lips pressed to hers, coaxing them apart when her hands moved from his shoulders to the back of his neck, water raining graciously down his backside. Deepening the kiss even further, Buffy moaned into his mouth, her body trying to rock against his.
He moved against her in a gentle rhythm for as long as either of them could take it, every thrust and every withdrawl seeking some form of healing for the hell they'd been put through.
OoOoO
"I need you," Angel told her once again, this time without as much fire. Instead, in such a heartbreaking tone that she knew he meant well beyond what was happening inside this shower stall. Her eyes danced between his for a moment before she dared whispering the dare for him to prove it, and then there was nothing else she could do other than try and hold on for the ride.
Angel kissed her roughly, his fingers biting into the soft flesh of her hips, pulling her closer, deeper. He pulled back until only the head of his cock remained inside of her then quickly plunged back in, gaining traction and speed with every go until he became erratic, pounding into her with bruising force. Her fingernails dug painfully into the reddening flesh of his neck, holding on in some attempt to keep balanced, wailing cries falling from her lips as control was slipping further and further away.
She felt dizzy and unhinged and was afraid to even imagine what must be going on inside of him right now.
"I love you," she was barely able to force out as he bounced her forward, shifting the angle in which she was sitting against him at, sparking friction against her clit with every move he made, sending her body up into flames like some uncontrollable wildfire. She bucked and writhed against him until she felt her body tilt over into ecstasy with one final scream of his name.
She could feel her fluttering walls clamp down painfully around him and it was enough to drag him right down with her, one final angry thrust into her and his body became racked with spasms, his seed spilling into her core like it had a million times in the past as he fought to keep his balance once more.
OoOoO
Their bodies remained locked together until her legs had nearly fallen asleep, panting and kissing, whispering lost words of love and promises of forever. But when they did part, Angel didn't allow her to go far from his reach, holding her under the water with him. His eyes greedily drank her in, hands smoothing over her curves as he helped soap her up and wash her clean, massaging her head as he lathered his shampoo into her blonde tresses.
She couldn't help but note he used to keep a bottle of her favorite brand alongside his and it felt overwhelmingly missing right now, though she told herself it would not surprise her in the least if by the end of next day or two one wasn't right back in its proper place, along with some of her other items she used to have sprinkled all over this house.
Spinning back to face him, Buffy pushed up to her tip toes, pressing her lips to him gently. "Are you okay?"
He kissed her again and promised he was getting there.
ButImBroken:
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