Bitter

Chapter 9

Christine was still shocked a week later by how sweet Mike was being, but she also recognized that he was distancing himself; preparing himself to deploy. Still, it was nice to sleep next to him every night. She had missed that. She would wake up with her head on his chest and her leg slung over his, and on the third night; he had his arms around her.

He was also being wonderful with the girls. He even helped Katie with some of her physical therapy since Christine couldn't and he had taken her to a specialist that he had found, also because Christine couldn't. Medications were in short supply so they were going to have to manage Katie's health issues without. Christine found Mike sitting on the couch with Katie's head propped on his shoulder. She was sound asleep. It made her smile.

"PT rough?" Christine asked as she sat down.

"Yeah. I hope she didn't overdo." Mike remarked.

"Its easy for her to overdo. She wants to be normal so badly." Christine said.

"Why?" Mike asked.

"On the surface, she wants to be a normal kid, but deeper down, she blamed herself for us splitting up. As you distanced yourself, all she wanted was to be a normal kid so you would love her again." Christine answered bluntly.

"I always loved her." Mike answered defensively.

"I know you did, but you didn't always do a good job at showing her that. When you would come for the kids, you never spoke to her. Didn't want her to go along. I don't know your reasoning, and can only guess but it really hurt her, Mike." Christine said in a quiet, calming voice.

"The bad part is; I don't even know my reasoning and now I don't have a lot of time to make up for it." Mike admitted.

"When you go back out, you will be able to email and call home?" Christine asked.

"Should be able to. There might be times we can't due to connectivity issues and such, but for the most part, yes." Mike answered.

"So, make a point in wanting to talk to Katie on the phone. It doesn't have to be fancy. She just wants your attention, approval and love. Don't be afraid to tell her that you love her." Christine said.

"I am worried about her not having the medicine. When this all started, they talked about when the arthritis was done with the joints, it would go for the organs. So, we could easily lose her too. I suppose I'm scared to be close." Mike admitted.

"Mike, that could be decades from now. We both maybe gone when it happens. I understand the fear, especially after losing Lucas; but we have to concentrate on the here and now, giving her happiness and love while we have her. I suspect that is why you closed yourself off from her to begin with, right?" Christine asked.

"Yeah." Mike answered.

"Katie will forgive you. Probably has already. She just wants to have her daddy in her life. The important thing is, spend time with her other than for physical therapy and doctor's appointments. Medical stuff. Enjoy your daughter. No, she can't do what she used to, and those things were always what you two had in common, but find something new. And if you need help; I will help but don't rob yourself of a relationship with her just for fear that you'll lose her because if that time does come, all you will have is regret, rather than memories." Christine said.

"I have no idea what she even liked besides the sports." Mike said.

"We are limited now, and its going to take some time to develop interests, but if it comes up; I will let you know." Christine answered. She smiled at the way Mike's hand was smoothing Katie's hair. It reminded her of when Katie was a baby. Despite how their relationship started, Mike had adored his daughter from the beginning. It took her back.

Christine woke up in the middle of the night and watched Mike pace around with Katie in his arms. He was humming softly. Katie was only three months old and had her dad already wrapped around her finger. Mike and Christine had only been married about four months and it had been a struggle. They were not soul-mates and Katie was the result of a one-night stand. They had known each other, but were by no means close.

Despite all that, Mike loved Katie deeply and Christine knew he wasn't a terrible husband. She could have done a lot worse. Her parent's marriage was proof of that. Mike was home when he wasn't at work, mostly because he wanted every available moment with their daughter, but it created a partnership between him and Christine that they could both live with.

The question now was, did they just want a partnership? Christine knew Mike was going through a grieving process for Michelle. She would respect that, but it worried her. If Michelle was actually alive, Mike would go to her. Their marriage would be over, and he would not be there for their daughters. That was what really bothered Christine. Them not having their dad, who they adored, because of poor decisions made by their parents.

The flashback bit just kind of fit, but it might have been too much for this story!