Harry Potter How I Met Your Mother
Interlude: Some Years Later
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter, its characters, its plot, and its settings are the creation of JK Rowling and are the property of JK Rowling, Wizarding World, and Warner Brothers. I do not own them. I do claim ownership of Tristan Woodbine, his friends, his family, and non-canon Slytherin housemates.
This story is written for my own amusement and ego gratification, not for profit. I neither expect nor deserve any financial reward for this work of fiction. If, however, you enjoy this work of fiction, please write and post a review.
Advisory: This story has NO relation to the How I Met Your Mother television program.
Harry Potter: How I Met Your Mother* Harry Potter: How I Met Your Mother* Harry Potter: How I Met Your Mother
The Granger—Woodbine Home:
Some years later
"So you and Mum didn't spend that Christmas together?" said Luna. Luna was my younger daughter with Hermione.
"No, we didn't," I replied. "Mummy and I were becoming friends but we weren't yet in love with each other back then. I was interested in somebody else."
"Who?" said Luna.
"Camilla Sanscouer," said Tristan. "I was trying to court her but I didn't realize that she was drifting away from me."
"Drifting away?" said Luna. "Like you were on boats or something?"
"No, Sweetheart," I said, ruffling her hear. "Drifting away meant that we were going off in different directions. Camilla wanted to become some wealthy Pureblood's wife while I, I wasn't sure just what I wanted, but I wanted something else for myself."
"So what happened?" said Luna.
"They broke up," said Jean, my older daughter, "but not for a while."
"So what happened during the Christmas holidays?" said Luna.
"Your Mum had a potion accident," I said.
"What sort of accident?" said Luna.
"I'll let your Mum tell you sometime," I said.
"Still telling them stories about how we met?" said Hermione, stepping into the parlor.
"We're long past that," I said. "I'm telling them about some of the things that happened during my Fifth Year."
We put the children to bed, then Hermione and I retired for the evening.
"Have you mentioned the Polyjuice yet?" said Hermione.
"Not yet," I said.
"You guessed what happened and what we were up to very quickly," said Hermione. "I'm still surprised that you didn't turn us in."
"Perhaps it was because I was already secretly enamored with you?" I said.
"Flatterer," Hermione scoffed. "You told me that you still were pining after Camilla back then. Why don't you tell us the real reason?"
"Well, the truth of the matter was that I was awed by your audacity," I said. "Harry and Ron walked into our Common Room like they belonged there. That isn't supposed to happen: we Slytherins don't allow people from other Houses to enter our common room. Not that it hadn't happened before: I've heard tell that the Marauders broke in at least once while Harry's father was at Hogwarts. I can't believe that Professor Snape didn't take measures to see to it that that didn't happen again."
"So what would you have done if it had been the Marauders and not Harry and Ron?" said Hermione.
"I would have turned them in," I said. "James Potter and Sirius Black were bullies."
"So why didn't you turn in Harry and Ron?" said Hermione.
"Two reasons," I said. "First, I realized that you three had good motives. You were trying to get information about who or what was behind the attacks and put a stop to them, and second, because Draco Malfoy was the ass who opened the door and let them inside. If anyone ever found out just who let them in, he'd never have lived down the embarrassment. I wanted to keep that in reserve in case I ever needed to pressure him."
"But that's blackmail," said Hermione.
"Of course," I replied. "I am a Slytherin."
Author's Notes:
For those who started reading this chapter without reading the rest of this story, this is a retrospective set some years after Tristan and Hermione got married. Tristan had been telling his and Hermione's children about some of the events that occurred at Hogwarts during the 1992 Christmas holidays, when Hermione was a second-year and Tristan was a fifth-year.
I wrote and posted this vignette to accompany a notice: I am about to set How I Met Your Mother aside for a while so I can go back to work on Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe, my current Daria/Harry Potter crossover project. My current plan is to finish The Legend of Sporting Joe, then write more chapters of How I Met Your Mother and finally—FINALLY—start writing and uploading Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Unicorn.