Just a quick little note. I did do some sexual assault recovery before writing this chapter. Unfortunately there's a lot of bad information out there, but there's also a lot of good information. In the end I went with what worked best for the fic as well as trying to remain respectful to the sensitivity of the issue. As always feel free to skip these parts especially if they're upsetting/triggering.
Kol held Bonnie all night long. He watched her sleep and the sight should have made him feel more content than he'd been in a long time. Maybe ever. Except he'd spent the night racked with guilt only occasionally dozing off.
A part of him had hoped Bonnie would never recall his promise. It was just another way in which he had failed her. He wished he would have come back for her the second he was back in public school in Chicago. He'd gone to school with Bonnie in his senior year and he had been too old for her at fourteen, but he could have been her friend. Could have protected her from her terrible friends and been there for her when she needed him.
If he'd been in her life when her father was dying she would have had somewhere else to go rather than that stupid fraternity that night. At the very least he wouldn't have left her alone to wander the hallways of a fraternity drunk.
Instead, he'd stayed away. Content to know he was nearby like a fool while she desperately needed his protection.
Eventually he fell into a restless sleep.
XXX
Bonnie woke slowly. She stretched only to discover she was still curled up in Kol's lap with his arms wound tightly around her. He always looked so young while asleep and she brushed the hair out of his face. This morning he looked exhausted. He had dark circles under his eyes and she kissed his cheek before snuggling closer.
Kol shot awake and she fell onto the mattress.
"Hey!" she complained.
He stared at her and blinked before bursting out laughing.
"I'm sorry, baby. Are you alright?"
Bonnie started to laugh at the guilty expression he wore.
"I'm fine."
Kol helped her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed his cheek and he winked at her. His hand went underneath her chin and she blushed when he raised her face to his. He kissed her lingeringly and nipped playfully on her lower lip. She giggled and hid her face in the crook of his neck.
A knock sounded on the door. A moment later someone tried to open the door.
Still upset about the time Mikael walked in on her and Kol, she pressed herself closer to Kol.
The door didn't open because it was locked.
"Who is it?" Kol asked raising his voice to be heard through the door.
"Mrs. Mikaelson sent me to tell you breakfast starts in fifteen minutes and if you're late she's using you for target practice."
Kol cursed under his breath.
"Tell my mother to go fu -"
Bonnie covered his mouth with her hand and giggled at his offended expression.
"We'll be there," she called out.
She put her hand down and Kol glared at her.
"What did you do that for?"
"Be nice to your mom."
"First she insists we stay here and you shouldn't cave when she does that because then she'll know she can bully you into anything she wants. And now she's sending the staff to do wake up calls like we're children?"
"She misses you," Bonnie insisted. "I bet she really misses having a house full of kids. You should be nicer to her."
"You're too sweet, baby. I think my insane family is starting to grow on you."
"Believe it or not I like your mom."
Kol stared at her in shock.
"I must have misheard you, beautiful. You like my mother?"
She giggled and gave him a squeeze hug.
"Yes, I like your mom. And maybe you quit complaining like you're still in high school you might see she's pretty cool. Terrifying, but cool."
Kol laughed. "Alright, I'll try to grow up."
Another knock sounded on the door.
"Mr. Mikaelson I'm so sorry to disturb you again, but your mother sent me up with a fresh change of clothes."
Bonnie eyed the pile of dirty training clothes on the floor and she grinned.
"See? Your mom's awesome."
"I'm not wearing anything she chose. If I encourage this she'll drop by the flat whenever she wants with new outfits."
Bonnie ignored him and went to open the door. The maid walked in and put the clothes down on the dresser. She gathered up the dirty laundry from the floor.
"I'll take this to laundry. It'll be ready for when you leave after lunch."
"After lunch?" Kol questioned.
"Or we could deliver it to your apartment, Mr. Mikaelson?" the maid suggested.
Kol nodded.
The maid left. Kol locked the door behind her.
He changed into something from his drawer. Bonnie happily changed into the navy blue dress and shoes Esther had chosen for her. A glance in the mirror told her they were perfect with her hair.
Kol was rummaging through the drawers and pulled on a random T-shirt. She kind of liked getting this glimpse into what Kol had been like in high school. Apparently he had a lot of band T-shirts and rebelled against anything his parents wanted even if they were just trying to help him. It was weirdly endearing.
Before Bonnie could fully think about what she was doing she snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around him from behind. She rested her head against his back and inhaled his scent. His body was firm and she could feel his warmth even through his clothes.
"Are you sure you're ready for another family breakfast? We can leave right now if you want."
"No," she said squeezing him. "Just be grateful we can spend time with your crazy family."
"I'm sorry, baby."
XXX
Kol's peaceful morning couldn't be disrupted by anything. Not even breakfast with his entire family. They were seated in the formal dining room and somehow Esther had wrangled every single relative into showing up. Katherine's presence seemed to be setting people off and he did his best to ignore the chaos that was unfolding in front of him.
Henrik had Fluffy around his neck and was getting yelled at by Esther, who was alternating between scolding her teenage son and scolding Elijah for his taste in women.
"Honestly, Elijah. She's one step up from a call girl."
"Mother please," Elijah said in a pained voice.
"At least I don't have a stick the size of England up my ass," Katherine said.
What Kol did notice was that Mikael's attention was firmly fixed on Katherine's chest.
But none of this could hold his attention as Bonnie sat next to him. She looked small and a little lost in the crowd, but she stayed close to him even as she talked to Finn. He kept his hand on her knee, his thumb stroking circles on her skin. He couldn't seem to take his hands off her. Between the thoughtful gift and the way she'd hugged him from behind this morning he was going crazy. Bonnie hadn't hugged him like that since they were children.
Kol wondered how he could tell her she meant the world to him without telling her that specifically. He grinned when an idea formed.
XXX
Bonnie saw Sage and Rebekah whispering at breakfast. She had the feeling it was Katherine they were whispering about. It looked like Sage and Rebekah were finally bonding over their mutual dislike of Katherine.
Bonnie wanted to intervene or at least talk to Katherine so she would feel more comfortable among the Mikaelsons, but Katherine didn't stop arguing with Esther for as much as a minute.
When Mikael finally shut the argument down, Bonnie dragged Katherine into her conversation with Finn.
"We're talking about New York. You've been, right Kat?"
"Sure, I love the big apple," Katherine said. "Who doesn't?"
"I don't," Finn said with a laugh.
Bonnie grinned at him. "I'm trying to convince Finn there are a lot of fun things to do there. So maybe Sage and Finn will come with us to New York like Sage is dying to do."
"You're moving to New York?" Katherine asked.
"Not really. I mean maybe?" Bonnie said blushing.
"I live part time in New York as you know, Kat," Kol said. "Bonnie's going to split her time there with me."
Bonnie blushed. She'd known this was what Kol wanted now that she wasn't in school and they'd talked a little about it earlier this week. But she didn't know for sure if they had settled on that before now. But it made sense. They spent every night together even if they hadn't officially moved in together.
"'Lijah," Katherine purred. "We need a place in New York if my bestie is moving there."
"Of course, dear," Elijah said from behind his newspaper.
"You just can't wait to spend my son's money, can you?" Esther snapped.
"Esther," Mikael said shaking his head.
"Maybe we should cut Elijah out of the family fortune," Esther suggested.
"Mother," Kol growled.
Esther shot him a look of pure fury, but she went back to her cup of tea.
"Perhaps you and Bonnie will spend the day here? We can plan your birthday party."
"I'm not having a party this year," Kol said.
Bonnie glanced at him in surprise. "But you're turning twenty-five," she added in a whisper. "That's a big deal."
He winked at her. "Bonnie and I are going to the Bahamas."
"That sounds amazing," Bonnie sighed forgetting herself.
"You are?"
"Shouldn't you know, Bonnie?"
Kol groaned. "For fuck's sake. It was meant to be a surprise."
Bonnie tucked her arm through his, resting her head against his shoulder.
"Are you sure you don't want a big party? Twenty-five is a big deal."
"I'm sure," Kol murmured.
"Is there anyone else, who would like to abandon their family on a milestone event?" Esther asked in a dry tone of voice.
"Actually," Elijah said. He put down the newspaper and straightened his tie. "Katerina and I have an announcement."
"She's pregnant?" Rebekah suggested.
"Hide your valuables," Sage added.
Bonnie glared at them. "Don't talk to her that way."
"Thank you, Bonnie," Elijah said. "I won't hear another bad word about Katerina as we are engaged."
Kol looked as if Christmas had come early. Bonnie was starting to think he rather enjoyed the drama Katherine brought to the family.
"Look!" Katherine squealed. She thrust her hand in Bonnie's face and her jaw dropped at the sight of the giant ring she was wearing. "Isn't it gorgeous?"
"Congratulations," Bonnie said grinning. She rushed around to hug Katherine. "It's gorgeous," she whispered.
"Hate me all you want, Mama Mikaelson. I'm here to stay," Katherine said.
Esther glared at her and Bonnie suspected Esther might decide to disown Elijah after all.
Things quickly descended into chaos and Bonnie had forgotten in the past few days how quickly family events with the Mikaelsons spiraled into war zones. She and Kol congratulated Elijah. Kol even hugged Katherine.
Then Kol caught Bonnie's arm and they slipped out while the rest of the family started warring.
"Should we stay?" Bonnie whispered.
Kol shook his head. "Not a chance in hell. Mother is livid. This could go on for hours especially since Sage and Bekah have teamed up."
"I don't know, Kol. I feel bad about leaving Katherine there."
"Elijah's with her. She'll be fine."
Before she could protest Kol shoved her into the passenger seat of his Maserati.
"Hey!"
"Now, Bonnie," Kol said then softened. "Please, baby. Preferably before mother tries to drag us into it."
"Alright. But only because I have a session with Meredith. I don't like leaving my friends high and dry."
"I know, baby."
XXX
Bonnie was nearing the end of her two hour session with Meredith. She had to admit there was something soothing about sitting in Kol's home office with her.
Kol had made himself scarce and gone to work.
"Good, good," Meredith said nodding. "It sounds as if you've made some strides in becoming more comfortable with your own body in the last couple of days."
"I have."
"You and Kol have slowed down?"
Bonnie nodded. "It's driving me a little crazy."
Meredith laughed. "It seems to me as if the two of you have quite the connection. Sex isn't the only way to be intimate in a relationship."
"I just didn't expect to miss it the way I do."
"That's good. It shows you want more," Meredith said gently. "For the next couple of days I want you to get honest with yourself and even Kol if you're comfortable about what kind of sex you enjoy or think you might enjoy."
"That's it?"
Meredith nodded. "That's it. We're aiming for baby steps here. I don't want you to act on those fantasies yet not unless you feel you're ready because you have had some setbacks, which can shake your confidence. And even your partner's confidence. If you push forward too fast you might end up feeling broken."
Bonnie nodded. That's exactly what had happened to her. She felt worse for trying and at the same time it was frustrating because all she wanted was to be with Kol fully.
"You have expressed some frustration with yourself and your inability to sleep with Kol. How do you feel about that today?"
"Better I guess. I think taking a break has been good because it's given us a chance to get know each other better. And I know it'll sound crazy because it's only been a few days since the last session, but in that time it feels like I've always known Kol. Like we were meant to be together."
"And you want to take that intimacy to the next level?"
"I do yeah."
Meredith gave her a serious look. "That's a big step. And I would again caution you to wait."
"I will. I know jumping straight back into things will only bring up memories I don't want to remember."
"And I think you should think about what you need to feel safe enough that you might be able to have sex. I'm not saying it's enough or that it will magically fix everything, but setting boundaries and knowing what you need to feel secure will help."
There was a depressing thought. The thing Bonnie needed she didn't think Kol could ever give her. And it wasn't his fault. Not really.
"I need to be in love."
"That's a good thing," Meredith said. "Don't look so glum."
"Except Kol doesn't love me. He never will. Don't get me wrong, I know we've talked about it before – and I know he cares about me, but he doesn't love me. This is a business arrangement and we're just lucky we care about each other."
"I can't speak to that, but I can say if that's something you need and you aren't getting from Kol then you may need to reassess your situation."
Bonnie shook her head. "I don't want to even think about breaking up with him. I feel safe and happy for the first time in a long time."
"That's good. And -" Meredith hesitated. "I shouldn't say this because it's borderline unprofessional, but I've known Kol for a long time. He's never had a girlfriend and as far as I could tell the thought of settling down never crossed his mind. But he seems different with you. More grown up, more alive when you're around. It's like he's invested in what's going on around him."
"What do you mean?"
"Before it was like he bought The Lounge because he had some kind of purpose, I guess? He was present, but not really. I could tell his mind was elsewhere."
"When you say purpose?" Bonnie prodded.
"I don't know what kind of purpose a high school kid needs a strip club for, but now he seems invested in a real way."
Bonnie's head was spinning. "Kol bought The Lounge when he was in high school?"
"Yeah, I guess he needed a place to conduct business. I never paid that much attention to what went around there, but I know there was some money laundering and a lot of crime lords hang out there."
Bonnie made a mental note to ask Kol about it later.
"Kol has been involved in the family business that long? Oh my God poor him."
This explained so much about Kol. Why he was so intense and why he never let his guard down.
"Yes, it's unusual. But Kol handled it better than I thought. I was expecting a child, who partied too much. Kol definitely did that, but he didn't mix it with his business. Instead, he put Sage in charge and she taught him everything she knows about the club and industry."
"That's more mature than what I would have expected. I think Kol has always been a lot wilder than me."
"I'm sure his family and business complicate your relationship."
"Yeah, except I don't really care about that anymore. He keeps me outside of it and I don't think my Grams would mind."
"Tell me more about that."
So Bonnie told her how Sheila had really only ever cared that Bonnie was safe. That she was afraid something would happen because of the color of her skin. And that Sheila didn't believe in following the rules of an unjust system.
"It sounds to me as if your Grams has some common values with the Mikaelsons. If I can interpret a lot of their behavior as being about protecting family."
"I think you can," Bonnie said.
"I want to talk about your support system. Who do you have aside from Kol in your life?"
"I have some friends, but I guess these days it's mostly just Katherine I can rely on. Elena and Caroline have personal stuff going on that I need to help them through."
"It's good Katherine's your friend although if we're being honest I don't think I have ever heard anyone describe her as a friend," Meredith said with a laugh.
Bonnie laughed. Sometimes she forgot Meredith knew all the girls from The Lounge.
XXX
Kol noticed Bonnie was unusually quiet over dinner. It didn't seem so strange to him given that she'd been to a therapy session. He was under the impression they took a lot out of her, which he could understand. Although really any emotional vulnerability on his part left him exhausted and confused for days. It was such an unusual thing in his family he had no practice with it unlike Bonnie, who although cagey knew how to be vulnerable.
A part of him worried it was the choice of restaurant. He took her to a Chinese restaurant because he knew she liked stir fry, but this place was very formal. And he knew that wasn't something she usually enjoyed, but she also said she didn't care where they went. Why was he stressing about the choice of restaurant? The food here was excellent – and then it hit him like a mac truck. He cared because he loved Bonnie and she was starting to warm to him. He felt like any misstep could stop that in its tracks.
"Are you alright, Bonnie?"
"Yeah, I'm just thinking."
Bonnie pushed the stir-fry around on her plate. That worried him. Bonnie only ever picked at her food when she was anxious or stressed.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked kicking himself for his nervousness. He'd been on countless dates with Bonnie. They practically lived together and they were engaged – why was he acting so strange?
"Kind of, but I'm not sure I should tell you."
Bonnie looked up at him and gave him one of her more serious looks. He placed his hand gently on hers.
"Whatever it is it's alright. I promise."
"When did you start working for your -" she lowered her voice and looked around to make sure no one was listening. "For your family?"
"When I was thirteen."
Kol squeezed her hand at the worried expression she wore.
"But that's so young."
"Bon -"
"Kol, please," she whispered. "You were just a kid and -"
He cut her off by moving to sit next to her and wrapping her in his arms. She snuggled closer and rested her head against his shoulder.
"It's alright, baby."
"No, it's not. That wasn't fair to you. You should have been allowed to be a kid."
For the millionth time today, Kol felt something unfamiliar stir inside of him. This was why he loved Bonnie. Because of her warmth and compassion. The way she cared about her friends and family.
XXX
Bonnie was bothered by the fact that Kol had been involved in the family business since he was thirteen for a lot of reasons. There were the concerns for Kol and then there were the worries about their future children. If they ever had any. Both she and Kol wanted kids, but now she wasn't so sure. She wasn't sure what she might be condemning them to before they were ever even born. She needed to know before she could decide if they should have kids.
"What about -" she took a deep breath. "What about if we have kids?"
Kol squeezed her gently.
"I promise you they will not get dragged into my family's madness if it's the last thing I do. I swear you don't have to worry about that, beautiful."
"But your parents -"
"Do not run my life," Kol said firmly. "I wouldn't do that to you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Kol echoed gently. "I will always protect you and any children we might have above anyone else."
"Thank god," Bonnie murmured. "I was so worried."
"I know."
Kol kissed the top of her head and she sighed. She wanted to tell him she loved him and that she was so sorry he had to get mixed up in crime since he was a child. And that she wanted better for him. She also wanted to ask if this was something he could leave behind, but she didn't. It was a stupid dream and it revealed far too much about how she really felt about him.
"So why'd you buy a strip club when you were in high school?"
"I needed a place to conduct business. Preferably somewhere my father didn't control."
"Why? You were a kid."
Kol laughed. "There was an incident. And I needed to protect my own money."
"Does it -" Bonnie hesitated to ask because the last time she'd asked he'd told her it was his business. "Have anything to do with why you need access to the family fortune?"
"Yes."
"Kol -"
"Bonnie," he interrupted and kissed her lightly. "That's not your business. But it's nothing you need to worry about, baby."
"It kind of feels like my business."
Bonnie was struggling to reconcile the idea that she loved and wanted to have sex with a man, who kept secrets from her. It felt like the opposite of the kind of man she was supposed to fall for, but Kol had been upfront about it. When he first suggested this arrangement, she had known there were things he either couldn't or wouldn't tell her. So his answer came as no surprise.
"It's connected to my business and that's all I'm going to say about the matter. I swear it's nothing you need fret about, my love."
"Alright, I trust you."
Kol grinned and sat back down in his own spot.
"Does that trust extend to allowing me to plan our holiday?"
"It's your birthday," Bonnie said returning his smile. "Are you sure you want to spend it away from all your friends and relatives?"
"Positive."
"Alright, but then I think I should plan it."
Kol looked surprised. "Why? What did you have in mind, beautiful?"
"It's a surprise. It's your birthday, which means as your girlfriend I should – I mean –" Bonnie stopped talking when she felt her cheeks heat. She really needed to stop acting so attached. Any second Kol would see the truth and he would leave her.
Except that didn't happen. Instead his eyes filled with warmth and a smile curved his lips.
"You can plan one night. I've already planned the rest," he said winking. "It's a surprise so don't ask."
Her heart skipped a beat and she found herself unable to wait for the vacation. The only problem was Bonnie had no idea what to get Kol for his birthday, but she knew she needed to get him something. He might have accidentally found her present a couple of weeks early, but everyone needed something to unwrap on their birthday.
XXX
Bonnie had to admire the efficiency of the Mikaelson staff. Nothing had been out of place when they left the flat this morning, but everything had been brought to the bungalow and unpacked before they arrived. She was starting to think the Mikaelson staff performed their own kind of magic because there was no sign now the staff had ever even been present.
Bonnie gasped when she walked into the overwater bungalow. It was stunning. The bedroom looked out onto the terrace and as far as the eye could see there was turquoise water.
What was more incredible was the glass window on the floor that looked into the ocean.
"Oh my god, Kol," she breathed. "This is incredible."
He wrapped his arms around her from behind. His warmth and hard muscles through her clothes.
"Good surprise?" he asked.
"The best," she agreed in awe. "I love it," she nuzzled his throat. "But it's your birthday. I should surprise you."
He kissed her cheek.
"But I love the look on your face when you're surprised. It's the sweetest expression."
A blue and yellow fish swam underneath the glass. She tapped his arm and pointed.
"Look! Oh my god. How are we supposed to go home?"
"If you want to stay we'll stay," he said in teasing tones.
"Could we? Oh, what am I saying? We have to go home. My friends are there and your family."
"They'll have to drag us back kicking and screaming," Kol teased.
Bonnie laughed and pressed herself closer.
"C'mon, we only have a week and I'm dying for a swim."
Kol turned her around suddenly making her gasp and giggle.
"Not to delay the sight of you in a swimsuit beautiful," he said trailing off and giving her a heated look. She blushed and glanced down. "But I believe this is the first time we've been properly alone in over a week."
That much was true. Bonnie had barely seen Kol in the last week. She was swamped helping Esther plan the charity gala and he was working seemingly round the clock. She didn't know exactly what he was working on, but she suspected it had to do with the Salvatores.
Most nights it was so late by the time he came to pick her up from her work on the charity gala that they stayed at his parent's house. It was weird, but Bonnie was starting to feel like a part of the family.
"I think it is. There's not even a staff member in sight."
Kol laughed. He squeezed her and touched his forehead to hers.
"Believe it or not the bungalow does come with a private butler."
"I believe it," Bonnie said giggling.
Kol flashed a crooked smile and kissed her lightly. It was gentle and she sighed into it. Her eyes fluttered closed. Warmth built inside of her as he kissed her slowly. It was as if Kol was trying to make up for lost time.
Her arms wrapped around his neck. His hands roamed her back to tug lightly on the tips of her hair. She mewled in content and felt him smile.
Bonnie started to back him against the bed and he let her. Her legs hit the bed and she sat down pulling Kol with her. It wasn't until he laid down on top of her – the warmth of his body wrapping around her and their lips locked in a tight embrace that he withdrew.
He brushed the hair away from her face. He was gazing at her with a gentle warmth that made her gasp for breath. He held her close, but made no move to finish what they had started.
"Kol," Bonnie murmured. "Don't stop."
"Believe me, I don't want to, but we're taking things slow. Something you aren't making easy."
Bonnie gnawed on her lower lip. She felt the heat coursing through her veins like something living. As much as she needed and wanted to take things slow there was another part of her that felt like she was going crazy without his touch.
Bonnie pressed herself closer and relished in his warmth.
"I know, I know and I'm sorry, but we can take it slow and do some other things," Bonnie said. It was as close as she could come to saying what she wanted aloud.
Kol grinned and kissed her. It was a just a gentle brush of his lips against hers yet it was scorching. In his kiss she felt every ounce of his desire. All too soon he pulled away. She had to admire his self-control. All she wanted was to lose herself in him.
XXX
Kol was still thinking about earlier when he walked out onto the terrace with Bonnie. There was little he wanted more than to be with her especially at times like this where she was wearing a green bikini that did maddening things to him, but they couldn't. Not yet. He needed to make up for going too fast in the beginning. He would do better by her.
Then he saw her expression and it all melted away. She looked like she was in heaven and it reminded him why he loved to spoil her.
"This is incredible. And oh my god there's an infinity pool."
Kol grinned and tugged on her ponytail. He had known Bonnie would enjoy this place when she suggested they go someplace warm. He'd been here a number of times before with his family, but he'd never come with a girlfriend. Yet he'd always been able to imagine Bonnie here. It seemed to him to be the kind of place he'd bring a girlfriend if he'd ever had one.
"How about that swim, beautiful?"
He started toward the infinity pool only to stop short when Bonnie dove straight into the ocean. He knew she must be a strong swimmer as she'd mentioned once or twice in passing she'd spent a couple of summers as a life guard, but he had no idea how good she was.
Bonnie swam to the surface and flashed a confident smile. Confidence wasn't something he was used to seeing on her. It suited her.
"Are you coming?"
Kol dove in after her delighting in her screams when the water splashed her. He dove lower and tugged on her ankle. She screamed and kicked him. He swam back to the surface and pulled her into his arms.
Bonnie laughed and fell back against him.
"Kol!" she howled.
He kissed her throat making her giggle.
"I love your laugh."
She stretched leaning back into him. Her back was against his chest and she wrapped her arms around his neck tangling her fingers into his hair. He ran his fingers along her side loving the feel of her skin.
Bonnie's eyes drifted closed and her lips parted in a content sigh. "I love the way you touch me."
Kol hardened in response to her words. He knew she didn't mean anything by it. It was just an innocent remark. Likely all she meant was that she liked the feel of his arms around her, the harmless cuddling he had taken to in lieu of another more primal connection with her.
"Do you now?" he murmured.
XXX
Bonnie was surprised by the husky notes in Kol's voice. Combined with his accent it sent a tingle of electricity through her.
She turned her face up to his and ran her lips along his earlobe.
"Please, Kol," she whispered. She took his hand in hers and guided it to her breast. He squeezed lightly. She moaned. "I promise we can go back to where we were before."
"Baby," he said in a hoarse voice as if he was fighting his instincts. "We shouldn't."
Bonnie groaned in frustration. They had slowed down and she felt like she knew him a lot better now than she'd done before. Now she wanted to get back to where they'd been before Kol decided she was made of glass.
She turned around and kissed him. She felt his surprise and it made her smile. But he kissed her back with a passion that stole her breath away. She undid her bikini top and tried to move his hands to her breasts, but he didn't let her. Instead, he put his hands on her hips careful not to touch her anywhere too intimately.
Bonnie hated this tension. There was nothing standing in the way of them moving forward. As Kol had once told her there were a lot of things, they could do that wasn't sex. But it would seem he'd forgotten that.
Deciding now was as good a time as any to show Kol she wanted him, she slipped her hand inside of his swim trunks. She ran her hand along his hard length and he made no move to stop her. She flushed when she felt how hard he was. At least he still wanted her.
Bonnie stroked his cock and she broke the kiss when she heard him groan roughly. His hand caressed her cheek and he touched his forehead to hers. His warm breath fanned her face coaxing a shiver to run down her spine.
"Please Kol," she murmured again. "I want you. I know my limits now and I just need you close."
This time he didn't need prompting. He palmed her breasts playing with her nipples coaxing a whimper from her. Heat coursed through her.
"You feel so good, baby," he whispered. "Do you want to hear a secret?"
Bonnie nodded.
His hands were skillful and he almost lost her grip on him as she moaned. Not for the first time she wondered how Kol could make her lose herself with just a few gentle caresses.
"I missed touching you too. I love the way your body feels."
"Kol," she stuttered his name when he squeezed her breast.
His hand roamed lower grazing the soft skin on her stomach. He caught her hand and she shifted his grip guiding his hand to the soft folds between the parting of her thighs.
"Are you sure, beautiful?"
"Yes."
Kol ran his thumb along her clit. Stars danced behind her eyes and she felt warmth pooling low in her stomach. His other hand palmed her breast and her eyes fell closed. Kol tugged her closer and she whimpered when her arm collided with his chest.
"You aren't close enough," he complained nipping on her earlobe.
Bonnie almost laughed except he pushed two fingers inside of her making her gasp for breath. "I feel pretty close, Kol."
"I don't think I can ever have you close enough, baby."
Bonnie turned her face to his and kissed along his jaw. She felt him smile.
As if determined not to be outdone Kol curled his fingers inside of her. She mewled and arched her back. When this had started to feel like a competition to unravel the other first Bonnie couldn't say, but she had to admit Kol had the advantage. With her arm pinned between their bodies and a slow heat rising inside of her, she didn't think she could outdo him. And if she were being honest with herself, she didn't want to.
The feel of Kol's skin against hers and the ocean gently lapping against them was intoxicating. She turned her face up to the sky and inhaled the fresh ocean air. She couldn't help feel like this was how sex was meant to be done. Under the open sky.
Kol's lips covered hers in a passionate kiss. He moved his fingers faster and the heat rose inside of her to reach a crescendo. She broke the kiss throwing her head back and moaning with pleasure. He kept going through her climax and didn't stop until she whimpered in pleasure.
He turned her around and kissed her lightly. He nipped her lower lip lightly. She giggled and pressed herself closer. She nuzzled into the crook of his neck and wrapped her arms around him.
To her surprise Kol picked her up and carried her to the ladder. She climbed up and it wasn't until she was on top of the deck she realized she was missing her bikini top.
"Kol," she said covering herself and leaning down to look at him as he climbed the ladder. "Do you see my bikini top anywhere?"
Kol grinned and shook his head. "I'm sorry, beautiful. I think that's lost in the Bermuda triangle."
"Shit."
Before she could run inside Kol caught her laughing and drew her back into his arms.
"It's alright, beautiful."
"We aren't the only vacation house here anyone could see us. See me and oh my god," she covered her face blushing.
"It's alright, baby," he murmured. His hands traced soothing circles on her back. "I rented out the other cabins. We have complete privacy I promise."
"Really?" she said sneaking a glance up at him. She hadn't been entirely alone with Kol since sometime before the trip to New Hampton.
"Really," he confirmed.
Kol kissed her lightly. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips. He carried her toward the lounge chair and lay her down gently on her back. He lay down on top of her and she ran her fingers through his hair.
The sun was as scorching as his kisses and she arched her back for more. Some small part of her wanted to have sex with him, but she knew she wasn't ready. Meredith's warning rang in the back of her mind. She needed Kol to love her the way she loved him before she was ready for that next step. She hoped that day might come.
Kol kissed her chest. She mewled and pressed herself against him. She could feel his hard muscles and his warm skin on hers.
He moved lower and slid her bikini bottoms off. His fingers lingered at her hips and he kissed her stomach lightly. His touch was scorching.
"Still alright, beautiful?"
"Yes, please don't stop."
"Anything for you."
Kol kissed along her inner thigh. His tongue traced circles that made her whimper and gasp for breath.
"Kol, please," she pleaded. Her voice was breathy and she mewled.
She felt him smile. She tugged on his hair in complaint. He was teasing and he knew he was driving her out of her mind.
"Patience, my darling," he hummed in a husky voice.
Before Bonnie could grow too impatient he was where she needed him most. His tongue licked her slowly and carefully as if they had all the time in the world. It was like Kol was savoring the taste of her. The thought made her grow damp and her core ached with need.
He kept the slow pace, his tongue circling her clit in a light motion. A sweat broke out on her body. Her legs twitched and her fingers knotted in his hair as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. Raw animalistic noises spilled across her lips and she bucked her hips.
Warmth built inside of her and stars danced behind her eyelids. Kol kept going until she felt like she was at the edge and he pushed her over. She came crying his name and felt him smile. Her thighs wrapped around him holding him closer.
She collapsed against the lounge air and inhaled deeply. Kol kissed her thigh and sighed.
Bonnie sat up and she blushed when she realized he was lying with his head on her thigh. She ran her fingers through his hair massaging his scalp. She smiled when his eyes closed. She ran her fingers lower stroking patterns along his shoulders and his back.
She loved the feel of his hard muscles and the way he looked younger more innocent when he was relaxed. When Kol was fully awake and alert he had an intimidating air about him that made him seem older than he was. Her heart warmed at the sight of him.
"Kol," she murmured scratching him lightly. "It's my turn."
"Your turn what?"
His arms snaked around her back tugging her closer. She suspected he would be content to lay there all day. Never asking her to return the favor so long as she felt safe, which was exactly why she wanted to do this.
"My turn."
Bonnie pushed him up, which she suspected wouldn't have been possible if he hadn't helped her. He was a lot bigger than her. She kissed him briefly and grinned when she heard him groan.
She lowered onto her knees and helped him out of his swim trunks. Her fingers were shaking from desire and he caught her hands in his. He kissed each hand lightly.
"Baby," he crooned. "You don't have to do this. You never have to do anything you don't want with me or ever again. I swear it."
She wet her lips. "I know, but I want to."
Kol's protests died on his lips when she took him in her mouth. He was big and she wrapped her hand around the base of his cock. She sucked, glancing shyly up at him. His eyes were closed. He reached for her and his hands cupped her cheek. His thumb stroked her cheek. The small intimate gesture made her blush in a way nothing else could have done.
Bonnie ran her tongue around his tip. She was growing wet from making him come undone. She loved driving him as crazy with lust as he made her.
Wanting him to finish she took all of him in her mouth.
XXX
Kol couldn't hold himself back any longer when Bonnie deep throated him. Her mouth on him felt amazing. Everything she did felt amazing.
I love you – he ached to tell her, but even if he was so foolish telling her while she was giving him a blowjob was hardly the time.
Heat exploded inside of him and he came. He tried to warn her, but she always ignored him and at this point he was starting to think Bonnie really didn't mind swallowing.
Bonnie blushed and glanced down. He picked her up and rested his forehead to hers.
"Still alright, beautiful?"
"Yes," she said and he could tell she meant it. "I promise I'll tell you if I want to stop."
Again he wanted to tell her, he loved her. But it was a stupid selfish impulse. It wouldn't help Bonnie. All it would do was put pressure on her to reciprocate his feelings.
But he could show her he cared by taking care of her. He kissed her softly and grinned when he heard her moan. She pulled away and gnawed on her lower lip.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Maybe we should go inside? We're very naked -"
"As opposed to only a little naked?" he teased.
Bonnie laughed and pressed herself against him. He would never tire of that feeling. She was so warm and soft, and felt like she was made to fit in his arms.
"Kol," she complained. "Someone could see us."
"I would never let anyone else see you like this," he murmured. "But we'll go inside."
He kissed her again. The kiss was soft and gentle. Their tongues swirled and she pressed herself closer. He walked backwards into the bungalow taking Bonnie with him. He felt her smile once they were safely inside of the living room.
Carefully, Kol pressed her back against the wall. He kneeled in front of her and pulled her leg over his shoulder. He kissed along her inner thigh. He loved the noises she made. It was like she wasn't even aware she was making them. Such small whimpers of pleasure and they drove him mad with desire.
Kol ran his hands along her thighs until he reached her bum. He kneaded her bum and pulled her closer. He slid his tongue between her soft folds. Her fingers gripped his hair tighter as he worked.
"Kol," she whimpered. "I'm going to fall."
"Don't worry, beautiful. I've got you," he murmured.
He felt her shiver and he circled her clit with his tongue. He knew she loved that. She mewled bucking her hips. He could tell by the way her breathing was raspy that she was getting close.
Kol pulled away. He nipped playfully on her thigh.
"You taste so sweet, baby."
"Please, Kol," she panted.
She arched her back and he glanced up at her. He loved watching her come undone. Her eyes were half-closed and she had one hand on the wall. She was the perfect picture of abandon.
"Patience."
He pushed a finger inside of her and watched her gasp. He sucked on her clit. She cried out in ecstasy.
XXX
Bonnie was at the precipice and she mewled when Kol's tongue dipped inside of her. Just as she was about to finish he stopped again. She tugged on his hair in complaint.
"Please, Kol," she whimpered. "Please this is torture."
She felt him smile and the ache in her core was building to the point of pain. If he didn't let her finish soon she was going to finish herself.
"Just a little longer, beautiful."
"Please," she said again in a breathy voice.
"In a minute, baby."
Kol's tongue slid along her folds and colors burst behind her eyelids. Warmth filled her and she felt that tremor begin in her core again. This time Kol didn't stop and she came screaming his name.
She collapsed against the wall. Her legs were shaky and would have fallen except Kol caught her. He carried her toward the bed and she cuddled against him. Kol lay on his side and wrapped her up in his arms. His one hand roamed lower to squeeze her bum. She closed her eyes and inhaled.
"I think you wore me out," she said blushing.
Kol chuckled and held her closer. He kissed the tip of her nose.
"Just making up for lost time."
Kol pulled her closer and she nuzzled his jaw. She wanted to stay like this forever. She stretched and felt a tendril of desire when her body brushed against his. It felt both incredible and strange to lay here completely naked and sated with Kol.
"What was that last thing you were doing?" she whispered.
It wasn't the first time Kol had done that and she couldn't quite decide if it was more torture or bliss.
"I know you're innocent, baby, but I hope you know what oral sex is. Otherwise, you must have been so confused."
Bonnie laughed at his teasing and pushed on him. He laughed and pulled her back to him. He touched his forehead to hers. His warm breath fanned her face.
"That's not what I meant," she protested.
He pecked her on the lips and his hand squeezed her bum. She mewled and pressed herself closer to him.
"I know what you meant, beautiful. You haven't done that before?"
"Only with you."
"It's called edging it's where you get close then hold for a little while and start again. It's meant to make your climax better."
Bonnie was sure she was blushing a deep shade of red and she buried her face in his chest.
"Oh."
"If you don't like it, we don't need to do it again."
"It's good, but like in a really frustrating kind of a way."
Bonnie kissed his chest. His fingers played with her hair.
"I missed this," Kol said so softly she could have sworn she imagined it.
She didn't care whether she'd imagined it or not. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
XXX
Bonnie curled against Kol's side. His arms were around her and she leaned against the balcony railing. His head was on her shoulder and she didn't even care about her champagne. She didn't think she would ever tire of this view.
Dinner had been amazing. Kol had chosen an incredible sea food restaurant and she had no idea how she was meant to return to Chicago. But she supposed if Kol was there then it wouldn't be so bad, but she was already dreading winter.
"Bonnie, I -" Kol began then stopped. She turned around to glance up at him. "I know I did a lot of things wrong in the beginning -"
"No, Kol. You didn't," she protested.
"It's alright, sweetheart," he murmured. "I know and I'm sorry. The one thing I regret most of all is -" he kneeled and took her hands in his. "Not proposing properly."
Her head was spinning as she tried to process what was happening. The idea that Kol was proposing for real in such a beautiful place and that he might even love her - it was too much. It was better than she ever could have imagined.
"Kol," she whispered.
"Will you marry me, Bonnie? I'll give you the world I promise and I'll keep you safe forever and always."
"Yes."
Kol withdrew a black box from his jacket pocket. She gasped when he opened the box. Inside was the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen. The diamond was square and the band was lined with smaller diamonds. The light of the setting sun reflected off the diamond.
"If you don't like it we can get you -" Kol's sentence died when she held her hand out. He laughed and kissed the top of her hand. "I guess that means you like it."
"Yes, I like it, dummy. It's beautiful."
Kol laughed. "I can't believe you just called me a dummy."
"Then don't be one," Bonnie teased.
He slid the ring on and she studied it. It was breathtaking.
Kol stood up and he wrapped her in his arms. She shivered against him suddenly feeling cold in spite of the heat in the air. He kissed the top of her head.
"We can tell people when we get home," he said as if more to himself than to her. "Mother will want at least a year to plan the wedding, but I think perhaps late winter or early spring would be best what do you think? Would you prefer a spring wedding?"
Bonnie felt as if she'd been doused in ice water. She was imagining they were in love like a normal couple and Kol's mind was on the contract. Sure he wanted to be with her physically because he liked her and because it made their agreement easier. But he didn't love her and he never would.
Abruptly, she was shivering for entirely different reasons. How could she marry Kol when she loved him and he'd never feel the same way about her?
"Sure that sounds good."
"You're cold, baby," he murmured. He rubbed her arms in an attempt to warm her up. "I'll get you a blanket."
Bonnie was about to protest, but it died on her lips. Kol was already heading towards the bedroom.
She couldn't do this. And she definitely couldn't think here.
Bonnie did the last thing she had ever imagined herself doing. She took off at a run.
XXX
Kol was in a better mood than he'd ever been when he went to retrieve Bonnie's blanket. He'd laid his heart out to Bonnie and she hadn't rejected him. He didn't care if she only wanted him because of his money or his protection. Even if she could only ever feel like and desire. All that mattered to him was that she was with him.
When he walked back out onto the terrace to find Bonnie gone he felt his heart break for the first time since he was forced to leave Chicago as a child.
If Bonnie wanted to run he would have let her go except the beach wasn't safe after dark. Plenty of criminals roamed the area looking for rich tourists.
Cursing himself and the fates he went the only way she could have gone.
XXX
Bonnie ran across the beach until her legs threatened to give out. She collapsed under a palm tree at the far end. She hugged her knees to her chest and let out a sob.
It wasn't long before she was sobbing openly and gasping for breath.
"Bonnie? Dammit, Bonnie where the hell are you?"
She heard Kol shouting and tried to muffle her cries.
Either Kol was tracking her foot prints in the sand or she was unsuccessful because the next thing she knew he was standing in front of her.
"Dammit, Bonnie," he groaned sounding frustrated. "I'll take you home tonight, but you can't be out here alone at night. It isn't safe."
"I'm sorry."
"I looked everywhere for you. Fuck, I'm sorry."
Next thing she knew Kol's blazer was around her shoulders and he kneeled next to her.
"I'm so sorry, Kol."
"It's alright. I'll take you home. You don't have to marry me, but you don't need to dance either. I'll figure something out, I promise."
She didn't hear him. Not really. It was just white noise as she felt her heart break into a million pieces. The pain was unbearable and that was saying something. Bonnie considered herself something of an expert on pain by now.
"Stop! Oh my god just stop!"
"I'm sorry," he said gently. "Let's just get you home."
He tried to reach for her, but she shied away. She wiped away her tears furiously.
"I'm so sorry. I can't marry you. I just can't."
"Hush now, it's alright. I know."
"I want to. God, I want to," Bonnie cried. She was breaking down. She couldn't take this anymore. She just needed his concern to stop. For him to realize he wasn't the foolish one. She was the one that was so broken she fell in love with someone, who would never return her feelings. "But I can't marry you. Not when you don't love me like I love you."
The resounding silence was painful and she tried to stop crying. She really did. Only she couldn't seem to make herself stop.
"You - you love me?" Kol asked in a stunned tone of voice. "And you think I don't love you?"
"Of course you don't. This is a business arrangement and I'm an idiot for fooling myself into thinking it could be anything more."
"Silly girl, don't you know I've loved you since we were children?"
Bonnie blinked and finally looked up at Kol. He'd spoken as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"What?"
"I love you too."
Kol reached for her and this time she threw herself into his arms. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his circled her waist as he drew her onto his lap. His body was warm and hard against hers. He rocked her gently on his lap murmuring soothing nonsense under his breath.
Suddenly Bonnie found she was furious. She sat up and hit his chest.
"Why didn't you say something?"
Kol stared at her before breaking into a broad smile and shaking his head.
"Give me a kiss, baby."
"I'm serious. Why didn't you say anything?"
Kol sighed. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered on her cheek.
"Why would I?"
"Why wouldn't you?" Bonnie countered. She was starting to get tired of playing twenty questions with him.
"You hardly remember, beautiful. Why would I put added pressure on you to feel something you don't?"
Bonnie felt her heart break this time for Kol. He'd loved her this whole time and he'd never said a word. When he'd first suggested this he'd admitted to liking her and she'd liked him too already then. But she'd had so much else going on she didn't work that out until they were already involved. And he'd never said as much as a word just content to be together however, she wanted them to be.
Didn't he tell her? Bonnie wondered. Kol showed her in the way he treated her. All of his generosity and care suddenly made a lot more sense in the light of this new discovery.
Bonnie kissed his cheek. She rested her forehead against his temple and inhaled his scent.
Kol slanted his mouth to hers. The kiss was wet with need and their tongues swirled. He pulled her closer. Heat pooled low in her stomach and she moaned.
How long it was before they broke apart Bonnie had no idea. But she was panting for breath and she blushed burying her face in the crook of his neck.
"I love you," Kol said in a rough voice that made her core ache. His voice and accent was irresistible.
"I love you too."
Kol hugged her to him and she wished she could stay in this moment forever.
"Now will you please stop this silliness and come inside with me, beautiful? Preferably before someone attempts to mug us?"
"Yeah."
Bonnie got to her feet and Kol followed. He took her hand and started walking toward their bungalow.
Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing. So Kol and Bonnie finally told each other they love each other and he proposed! Let me know what you thought.
Izzy
Guest: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I loved reading your thoughts and I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed the workaround with the gift.