CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains some racist remarks and strong language aimed at Katara. Those words are absolutely NOT the opinion of the author, but Katara probably would have had to endure things like this in-universe as the world adjusted in the post-war era. We see bits of it from King Kuei in the comic, North and South (though obviously his is more ignorance, but still hurtful). If this is something you'd rather not read, you may want to skip this one.
Katara hardly slept that night. She kept tossing and turning in her sheets, watching the moonlight teasingly drift in through her open window. The autumn night was cool, and the breeze felt at alternating times refreshing or uncomfortably chilling as she tried to settle herself. She hugged her blankets around her for warmth, wishing she could snuggle with her best friend instead.
All she could think of was how Aang had held her when they danced, and how he had kissed her again after their planned kiss when they left. How cherished she felt in his arms. How deeply she'd realized she wanted him when he gripped her hips in their slow dance and pulled her close. It had shocked her to her very core. Her head swirled in the most pleasant way, all while her stomach twisted in discouraged knots knowing that he had only done those things for appearances. For the press, and for all the people watching.
She remembered the reporters furiously scribbling notes on their scrolls and wondered what their next headlines would be. Teo's dad had recently invented a sort of printing press that could transcribe the same message over and over again, and some people recently began publishing small pamphlets for the public this way, instead of transcribing them by hand with ink and brush. They usually contained important news such as political changes, business updates, or new laws, but Katara was disappointed to find that more often than not, the majority of the print space was reserved for straight gossip. City of walls and secrets, indeed, she often thought. The gaang had been the subject of this gossip several times already, with journalists seemingly racing each other to catch the young war heroes in their first scandal.
Normally when she couldn't sleep she wrapped herself in a blanket and knocked on Aang's door to talk about whatever was bothering her. She imagined how that would go—lying with her head in his lap and telling him about her feelings the same way she often told him about drama between workers at the clinic or a new food she'd tried at the market. She imagined how heavy the air would feel when Aang realized she was talking about him, and how he would try to gently reject her. Her heart dropped at the thought of never having that simple comfort with him again because she risked their friendship over this. No, she resolved. She wouldn't do that.
It was nearly dawn by the time she finally settled her heart and mind enough to sleep. It seemed like her eyes had just finally fluttered shut when her bedroom door flung open.
"You did it! This is so great, Katara, you need to read this," Sokka exclaimed as he thrust a bundle of folded parchment her way, flopping on the bed beside her.
"Ugh, why are you just barging in, Sokka?" she grumbled. "I could have been changing. What time is it?" She rolled over and rubbed her eyes with the back of her fists.
"Six o'candle," he said impatiently, as if everyone was awake by this time. "Come on, Aang already saw it before he went out for his morning meditations."
"Can't you read it to me? I don't think my eyes can focus this early in the morning." Katara made half an attempt to sit up before falling back against her pillows, cursing the sun.
"Fine. Here goes: Avatar Aang's Arm Candy…"
"Ugh, 'arm candy?!'" she whined in protest.
"Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I didn't write it."
Katara opened her eyes just enough to shoot him a glare before gesturing for him to continue. Sokka flourished the parchment in front of him, smirking and reading through his nose to make himself sound like a prissy noble.
"Okay. 'Avatar Aang's Arm Candy.' That's the title of this one from Ba Sing Se Today. 'Avatar Aang appeared at the Earth King's palace for his Birthday Ball with none other than his long-time friend and waterbending master, Katara of the Southern Water Tribe on his arm. She looked resplendent in a gown of both their nation's colors, which was on full display during the couple's many dances that evening…
"The Avatar and Master Katara dancing together is nothing new, as anyone who has followed our war heroes' journey would know, but what was new was that he referred to her throughout the night as his 'girlfriend,' and that she never left his side, even during the many political meet and greets he made. The couple even shared several romantic kisses as they left…'"
Sokka dropped his arms to look at Katara over the paper, eyebrow raised. "Several, Katara? I thought you were only going to kiss once for the press!" he teased. Katara kicked at him from under the covers and pulled the blanket further over her face.
"That was all Aang's idea, not mine," she said in a huff, voice muffled by the blankets. "He said they were still watching us as we walked down the path and didn't want to give them the wrong impression."
"Uh huh. I'm sure that's all it was," he responded sarcastically. "Anyway, they go on: 'The pair certainly make an interesting couple, and many fans are already jealous of Master Katara's ability to snag the most powerful man on the planet. It was thought that the Avatar would choose a partner from the Air Acolytes, now that he is of marrying age, so this comes as a surprise. One acolyte, who requested not to be named, even said that this choice endangers the future of airbending…'"
Sokka kept reading but Katara curled in on herself under the blanket, feeling that pit in her stomach return. Was that true? Well, of course it wasn't true because they weren't really together, but… she wanted to be. Was it selfish to want him? To want a relationship and a family with her best friend, who also happened to be the last airbender? She clutched at her chest, as if she could physically pull the guilt that lay heavily there away, but she couldn't. It sank like a stone, and she started spiraling.
"'...Whether or not the relationship lasts remains to be seen, but the pair are certainly the talk of everyone here at Ba Sing Se Today!' That's it from this one; what do you think?"
Katara slowly poked her head out of the covers, sighing loudly.
"Oh, hey," Sokka said suddenly, voice full of concern. "What's wrong?" Katara realized her worry must have been written all over her face, and quickly rubbed at her eyes again, trying to correct her expression.
"Nothing, I'm just tired," she lied. "I think that sounds exactly like what we thought they'd say, so… that's good, right?"
"It's great! The other papers mostly say the same things, some a little more judgmentally than others. This'll be international news before you know it. I bet Zuko's going to flip!" Sokka rubbed his hands together with glee, clearly moving onto the next phase of his plan in his mind, and Katara rolled her eyes.
"Do you think we should tell him? We could send Hawky…"
"No," Sokka said quickly. "It's too risky if he gets intercepted. There are still too many rebels out there who want Aang and Zuko gone, and Ozai restored to power."
Katara sighed again. "You're right. Well, that will be an awkward conversation next time we visit."
"We'll get there when we get there," Sokka shrugged. "Anyway, you should come out for breakfast. Suki was making sweet buns. Plus I bet your boyfriend will want to talk to you about all this."
Katara bristled; she knew Sokka was teasing her, and she narrowed her eyes at him as he stood up and moved towards the door. He paused to stretch so she chucked her pillow at his side. Sokka just laughed and tossed her pillow back on the bed. "See ya later, little sister," he called as he shut the door behind him.
She quickly dressed and went to the bathroom to freshen up before joining the others at breakfast. Toph looked like she had just rolled out of bed—her hair was sticking up in every direction and she was still wearing her pajamas as she took a giant bite of sweet bun.
The treat always reminded Katara of their first visit to Kyoshi Island. That morning, with all of the delicious foods laid out on the table, she had felt so overwhelmed by the choices. She remembered Aang taking a bite of namagashi and telling her she had to try it, too, passing her the half-eaten sweet. The simple intimacy of sharing food had come so naturally between them. She also remembered being overcome with jealousy not long after when the first of the fangirls seized his attention, and being shocked at the intensity of the feeling.
"So…how was it?" Suki asked quietly, sidling up to Katara as she filled her plate. Katara smelled jasmine soap and was surprised that her friend had already found time to bathe and make breakfast at this hour—had anyone slept that night? The energy in the room (save for Toph's) was palpable.
Katara glanced across the kitchen at the others. Aang was sitting with Sokka and Toph at the table, idly picking at some fruit while Sokka went on excitedly about something. He picked his head up for a moment and their eyes met, causing a red blush to spread across his cheeks and down his neck, disappearing beneath his robes. Katara felt her own face heat up before quickly turning back to Suki, trying to contain her smile.
"Ohhhh, it was that good, huh?" Suki teased. Katara felt a sudden urge to elbow her friend in the ribs, but settled for an icy stare instead. Suki laughed. "Okay, you can tell me all about it later. I'm going into the lower ring this morning to teach some self-defense classes. Are you working at the clinic today?"
"Not until the afternoon," she said, moving to join their friends at the table now that she had filled her plate.
"Well, we'll talk tonight, then," Suki whispered before taking a seat next to Sokka.
Aang looked up at Katara again when she sat down next to him; had she even said 'good morning' to him, yet? They both blushed on eye contact and looked away. What had she gotten herself into?
Aang tried to return his attention to his breakfast. He hadn't been able to sleep the night before, either, and had gone out to meditate an hour earlier than usual in search of at least some mental rest. But then Sokka had found him with the newspapers and he hadn't been able to meditate properly.
He was worried he had overstepped with that final kiss, but he hadn't been able to resist, and the press were still watching them. And what about all of the touches they'd shared during the dance? Katara hadn't seemed to mind—in fact, he could have sworn she leaned further into him every time—but that easily could have been for show. Or she didn't want to cause a public scene. She would have told him on the walk home though if she'd been uncomfortable, wouldn't she?
He also couldn't deny that, while he had loved her for as long as he could remember, he felt like he was falling even harder, now. He hadn't had to "pretend" to hold Katara as if she was his greatest treasure, because she absolutely was. And when they danced to the slow, romantic songs last night his heart had raced with new energy and his body threatened to react in dangerous ways. They'd touched and been close a thousand times before, but never like that, and it led his mind to places he knew he shouldn't follow.
He craved her touch more than ever, after all that. He didn't know how he was going to survive without just casually kissing her head the way he had last night, or keeping his arm wrapped around her as much as possible, or tilting her chin up for a slow, sensual kiss when they were standing close. Suddenly, a loud crash pulled him out of his thoughts.
Sokka was the first to stand, clutching his boomerang. Everyone else quickly followed, rushing off to find the source of the crash. Momo swooped in and stole a few remaining pieces of food as the friends abandoned the table.
They found broken glass covering the floor of the living room, and a giant, jagged hole in the window. Aang felt nauseous as he surveyed the damage, trying to figure out why this had happened.
Suki bent to pick up a large rock from the shards of broken glass, finding a rolled up parchment tied to it. When she unfurled the paper, it was a copy of Ba Sing Se Today.
"Why would someone throw this through our window?" Aang asked, tilting his head in confusion.
"Is anyone going to tell me what's going on?"
"Hang on, Toph," Katara soothed. Toph's arms were crossed and she was tapping her foot impatiently, blowing her bangs out of her face while the Sokka flipped through the few pages of the paper. When he got to the article about the Birthday Ball, Katara gasped.
In bright red ink, someone had crossed out Katara's name and written the single word, "WHORE." Below the article was a message. "You'll never be good enough for the Avatar. Go back to the South Pole where you belong."
Aang suddenly felt like ice was running through his veins.
Then, white hot fury. He hadn't reacted so strongly to emotion since the sandbenders had stolen Appa, and now it took all of his strength to keep his tattoos from flickering. He was so engrossed in trying to preserve his tenuous control over the Avatar State, he didn't even notice that his friends were all still standing silently in shock.
"Seriously! Someone tell me what's happening! Why did you all lose your voices all of a sudden?"
Four sets of eyes shifted to Toph, while four mouths gaped, trying to figure out what to say.
Aang looked at Katara. Her face looked uncharacteristically pale. Her blue eyes were wide which was in stark contrast with her lips, now pressed in a firm line. She looked… afraid. And that made Aang feel terrified for her in a way he hadn't felt since the war.
"Um…" Sokka started. He cleared his throat to start again. "Someone just threatened Katara, I think."
"They what?! Who? I'll crush their ass…"
"We don't know, Toph," Suki said calmly. "They threw a rock through the window with this paper—a copy of Ba Sing Se Today with the article about Aang and Katara in it. They crossed out Katara's name and wrote 'whore,' then underneath told her to 'go back to the South Pole.' I… I'm so sorry Katara." She turned to Katara and placed a hand on her shoulder. Katara turned to face Suki, but her expression was blank.
"No," Aang said firmly. "I'm sorry. If I hadn't asked you to go with me last night, none of this would have happened. I put you in danger. We're not going to do this anymore."
Katara turned to Aang, now, with a startled look. Aang wasn't going to move on this, though. He wouldn't let any harm come to Katara because of him. Even if it meant stopping their indulgent pretense before it really got going.
"Let's all have some tea and calm down," Sokka said, walking back to the kitchen and pouring everyone another cup from the still-warm teapot. The friends followed and slumped back into their seats, defeated, while Momo scurried away with whatever scraps he could carry.
"Wow," Toph said. "I knew the fangirls would be pissed but I didn't think they'd be so… racist about it."
"Seriously," said Sokka darkly. "Or so threatening."
"How many more days are you supposed to work at the clinic, Katara?" Suki asked. "I think maybe we should cut our visit short."
"Yeah… um… I'm really just helping so I can leave whenever." Katara was twiddling with her hair in that way she always did when she was nervous, and Aang's heart sank even lower.
How could I have done this to her?
"I think leaving early is a good idea," Suki said. "Where are we going next?"
"Aang and I are supposed to stay a few more days for some meetings, but I don't think any of them are more important than your safety, Katara," Sokka explained. "I say we leave tonight and head to Zuko's. At least there we'll have a little more… trusted protection." He looked at Suki who nodded. Many of the Kyoshi warriors were still helping with palace safety, though they'd trained enough of the newer guards that they didn't need to be there all the time anymore.
"Absolutely. I'll just call it an Avatar emergency," Aang agreed. It really was one, anyway, he thought.
Everyone agreed and went off to pack their things and set affairs in order. Suki left not long after to teach her self-defense classes, and Sokka went up to the Earth King's palace to deliver the news that he and Aang would be departing earlier than expected. Toph's father was leaving that morning to return to Cranefish Town, and she went to see him off. She would be returning to the former colony as well when her friends left for the Fire Nation—she couldn't stay away from her metalbending students much longer.
Aang cleaned up the broken glass, and then paced the living room. He felt testy. He hated that he wasn't doing anything when Katara was in danger. He'd wanted to go with Sokka at first, just to give himself something to do, but then decided he needed to stay with Katara so she wouldn't be alone.
He knew Katara was more than capable of protecting herself—she was still a better waterbender and healer than he was. An extra set of eyes and ears couldn't hurt though, right? After hurriedly packing up the things he needed from his room for their trip, Aang walked over to Katara's door, knocking hesitantly.
"Come in," she said. Her voice was quieter than he had heard her in a while. Smaller. She sounded so much younger than her eighteen years right now, and his heart squeezed in his chest.
Katara was sitting on her bed, surrounded by piles of clothes and an empty bag. It had been over an hour since they'd all split up to pack, but it didn't look like she had made much headway in the matter.
"Want some help?" Aang offered. He tried to give her that signature half-smile that always made her blush, but his face was heavy. Just like his heart.
Katara turned around and looked at him. She had a sad smile on her face, and pushed some of the clothes over to make room for him. "Sit with me instead?"
"Of course," he breathed, all but floating around her bed to sit beside her. He didn't even think before he wrapped an arm around Katara's body, pulling her to him, unsure whether it was more for her comfort or for his own. He felt her melt into him, and squeezed her tighter.
"Thank you," she said wetly. She tried to laugh, but it came out as a sort of half-sob. "I'm sorry. I wanted last night to go perfectly for you, and—"
"It did," Aang said earnestly. "None of this is your fault, Katara. Do you hear me? None of it. I never should have asked you—"
"NO! Aang." Katara grabbed his free hand in both of hers and pulled away enough to look at his face. His heart shattered for what seemed like the millionth time that day when he saw her tears. He wanted to lean over and kiss them away, but found himself lurching back. He steeled his resolve—he wouldn't let her become a target because of how much he loved her, and even though the public act was pretend, he did love her. Too much to let this happen.
"Aang," she started again. "I… this is scary, but it's still worth it, to me," she said. Her thumbs gently massaged the arrow on the back of his hand and he exhaled heavily through his nose. "I don't want you to feel pressured into any relationship, especially one you don't want… I'll stay by your side as long as you want me." She blushed, then hastily added. "Until you find someone you do want to be with."
"I don't want you in danger, Katara," Aang said firmly. He took his arm off of her back and used his hand to brush away a strand of her hair that had stuck to the tears on her face. "You're my best friend and I couldn't stand it if you were hurt because of me."
"It's my choice, too, though," Katara said, gaining more of her signature confidence, turning to fully face him and grabbing his now-free hand.
"Of course, but…" Aang felt himself faltering. Sitting here with her, it was like nothing could get them. He knew there were dangers outside her door, but he also knew deep down that she was right.
"Don't try to Pakku me," she teased, bumping his shoulder with hers. "I know it's scary when someone you love is in danger. I feel that way about you all the time."
Was she purposely avoiding his eyes, or… wait, did she just say 'love?' Aang looked at her curiously.
"But I trust you," she went on. "Do you trust me?"
"Of course," Aang said instantly. "With my life."
"Then it's settled," she said, turning so she could lean her head back on his shoulder and move back into his warmth. Aang happily wrapped his arm around her again. "We're not breaking up over this."
Breaking up. He mulled over her words for a moment, marveling over how easily she had convinced him not to end their charade.
"Wait, breaking up? We're not technically together, Katara," he teased.
"Yeah, I know." Did she sound disappointed? Aang felt his heart speed up again. "But in the eyes of the public we are, now. How bad would the gossip be if we broke up this fast? How many fangirls would come after me then for breaking your heart?" She jabbed him playfully in the chest.
"Ow!" Aang whined.
"Exactly."
"I'm going to send a strongly worded letter to the Ba Sing Se chapter of the Air Acolytes, too," he said, after a comfortable silence. "I can't believe someone told a reporter that our being together 'endangers the future of airbending.' That's the most blatant lie…"
Katara pulled away a little again, looking up into his face curiously. "Doesn't it, though? I mean… theoretically… wouldn't you have a better chance of having airbender kids with someone else? Someone who isn't a bender at all, maybe?"
Aang looked at her in shock. Did she really not know? "Were your parents benders, Katara?" he asked.
"Well, no, but…"
"Bending has more to do with spirit and chi and a million things I can't begin to put into words—or even fully understand—than genetics," he explained. "If we had a family together, they could take on either of our bending, or none at all, but honestly I'm not even worried about having airbender children." He leaned back into her, hoping to hide the scarlet that had covered his face at the thought of having children with her. He was going to need to change the subject, soon.
"You're not? But who would teach the next Avatar?"
"The Spirits won't keep the world out of balance. That much I know," Aang shrugged. His voice was hushed and gentle as he went on. "When… if I have a family, I want it to be for love, you know? Not for checking some box on a cosmic to-do list. I want it to be… because I love someone so much that I want to see more of them in the world." He hid his face in her hair, trying desperately to keep from kissing her, but feeling very open and vulnerable in that moment. He had never shared that with anyone.
He couldn't see Katara smiling and blushing back at the idea, but he thought he heard her smile when she replied, "That's beautiful, Aang. I hope you find that, one day." He thought she sounded… relieved? But he couldn't understand why.
"I hope you do, too," he said. With so much sincerity he had to blink away tears. Aang took a moment to steady his heart and his breath. "Well, in the meantime, let's get you packed up, hm?" Katara laughed at his eagerness to change the subject.
"Yeah, okay," she said, standing up and stretching. Aang mourned the loss of her body beside him while simultaneously admiring her gorgeous curves on display in front of him. She cracked her spine, then opened her eyes and smiled at him before starting to fold the clothes that were still strewn around the bed. Aang took the folded clothes and arranged them in her pack, distracting his mind. "And then do you want to walk down to the market to get some treats for the trip?" she asked.
"It sounds like a date," Aang winked at her. She bit her lip.
"Perfect," she said.
Let me know what you think in the comments! ENDLESS thanks to coyotelemon for taking the time from her very busy life and beta-reading this chapter! It would have been so much worse without her help. I'm going to TRY to get enough written to post the next chapter next Monday, but don't quote me on that. It might still end up being two weeks...