The Wurlitzer Prize
Author's Note: Thank you to all those who review. It means a lot to me to get feedback on my work.
Dedications: To emrie (good luck, college girl!), Chris, Kate, Hadar, and of course, Marissa, the coolest nag in the world.
Part Seven: Konstantine
The merry laughter of her coworkers jingles around Rory as she smiles politely at Ben's mundane joke. Everyone else laughs only because they've had too much free eggnog, but Rory, as usual, has skipped the imbibing. Jen, on the other side of the room, is on her fourth glass; Rory knows that Scott will have to come help take her home. Rory is taking off for Stars Hollow, for yet another year of patented Lorelai Gilmore Christmas cheer.
And this time, she's bringing someone with her. To Luke and Lorelai, he is shrouded in mystery. Rory has been very careful to divulge few details, for when she does, her relationships seem to come crashing down. All they know is this: his name is Aaron Karr, he works at MIT as a junior professor and he too enjoys coffee.
With a fake smile pasted on, Rory kindly wishes everyone a merry Christmas and ducks out of the claustrophobic party. Though it's frosty outside, Rory leans against the side of the building to wait for Aaron. Like a kid, Rory watches her breath crystallize, as if by magic, in the air. In the distance, she sees the freeway, with the cars' headlights and taillights blinking like Christmas lights.
Aaron pulls up in five minutes and hops out of the car. "It's freezing out here!" he exclaims when he sees her, ushering her into the warmth of his Jaguar. "I told you I'd come up and get you," he reprimands lightly, crawling in the other side.
"I didn't want you to get trapped by my drunken coworkers," Rory replies, snuggling into the toasty leather.
"Don't worry about me. I just hope you didn't get frostbite."
"In five minutes? I don't think so," Rory answers, chuckling.
"So how was the party?"
"Mandatory."
"Ah," Aaron says, turning onto the on-ramp.
"How was yours?"
"Well, I'm Jewish, so it was pretty meaningless."
Rory hasn't even mentioned that fact to Luke and Lorelai. One of Aaron's most admirable qualities, to Rory, is his dedication to his religion. He is quiet about it, doesn't draw a lot of attention to it, but is sincerely devout. Stable people like that are attractive to Rory.
"I hate these things," Rory groans, letting her head swivel against the headrest.
"They were invented by Satan. Or Engelbert Humperdink."
"Either one," Rory agrees, watching the other cars woosh by.
They drive in silent camaraderie, and Rory's thoughts are driven back to Stars Hollow. She is distressed about the trip, although she hasn't let on to her mother or Aaron. In the back of her mind, the nagging thought that Jess will be there haunts her. After their last encounter, Rory can barely fathom seeing him. She remembers the movie Say Anything… in which Cory tells Lloyd that no matter what, no matter how old they get or how generic the topic of conversation, whenever he and Diane see each other, they'll think about the sex. And that's truly what Rory is concerned about.
Briefly, she glances at Aaron, who is concentrating assiduously on the road. Blinking back tears for some strange reason, Rory returns to her window watching. She prays that their relationship is sturdy enough to carry her through seeing Jess.
And, most worrisome of all, Rory can see a life pattern developing. Will seeing Jess always be like this? When she's old and gray and married, will she still panic about seeing Jess? Will any relationship be strong enough to handle the enormous pressure of her past?
"What are you thinking about?" Aaron asks suddenly.
"Just…my mom," Rory lies.
"Oh. Should I be scared?"
"Very," Rory teases gaily. In the back of her mind, she thinks that perhaps he should be scared. Aaron is not particularly sophisticated when it comes to casual, get-to-know-you conversation. When Rory first met him, he told her in a bout of nerves that he had always wanted to be an astronaut as a kid.
"Well, here's our exit," Aaron says, signaling and slowing as he pulls onto the off-ramp.
"Yep, here's our exit," Rory echoes with less enthusiasm.
"Something wrong?"
"No, nothing."
"You seem preoccupied."
"Just daydreaming."
"About me?"
"Who else?" Rory asks, a hot iron of guilt searing her.
"Fabio," Aaron counters and Rory laughs.
"You know me so well."
"Which turn?"
"That one, to the left."
They pass by Luke's, and Rory feels the familiar clench in her stomach spread up her esophagus to her heart. The town is, naturally, unchanged since her mother's wedding, although they have lights up now.
"The town looks nice," Aaron comments, and Rory makes a noise of accord. "Do they do this every year?"
"Every year," Rory confirms. "Take a right."
"So that's Monty."
"That's Monty," Rory repeats, feeling like a dumb parrot.
"He's huge."
"I tried to tell you."
"But then again, who would believe a story about a gigantic rooster?"
"I had hope for you," Rory says dramatically.
"Here?" Aaron asks, pointing to her driveway.
"That's the one."
The house looks wonderful; with Luke's help, Lorelai was able to string lights everywhere, and the building is aglow. Rory looks nervously for another car, wondering if it's Jess', but he probably doesn't have a car in New York. Aaron cuts the engine and Rory nervously steps out into the thin veil of snow.
"It's lovely," Aaron says, smiling.
"My mom's festive."
"So you said."
"Well…come on," Rory says, giggling slightly, herding him toward the door. "We all know how cold it is," she jokes.
"I'd get your limbs inspected, just in case."
"That's on the top of my list."
"Yeah, the list you never look at," Aaron mutters dryly.
"But it's at the top." Rory dings the bell and there's shuffling heard. Aaron looks vaguely alarmed at how long it takes. "Don't worry, it's the door-opening symphony."
"I see."
At long last, the door is yanked open with a flourish, and there stands Lorelai in all her bright red and green glory. "Rory!" she cries, suffocating her daughter in a hug.
"What are you wearing?!" Rory cries. Lorelai is bedecked in a gigantic sweater with a reindeer on it, glowing with little lights.
"Like it?"
"It's atrocious."
Lorelai beams. "I got it at the rummage sale."
"Now there's a surprise." Rory takes Aaron's arm and pulls him next to her. "Mom, this is Aaron Karr. Aaron, this is my mother, Lorelai."
"Hi there," Lorelai says, shaking his hand.
"Hi."
"Well, come on in." The three scuttle in the door and Lorelai rounds them through the exceptionally messy living room. "We're gathering in the kitchen. I haven't finished decorating the living room yet."
"Mom, it's the twenty-third," Rory chastises.
"I'm a busy woman." Lorelai sweeps them into the kitchen and Rory's stomach nearly falls out. Jess is standing by the stove, helping Luke cook. "A-hem," Lorelai coughs and both men turn around. Rory covertly watches Jess' face, but his expression does not change as he looks at her and Aaron. Disappointment almost makes her faint. "Luke, Jess, this is Aaron."
There's a faint pause. Even Rory can see how out of place red-headed Aaron is in their determinedly brunette kitchen.
"Hi," Luke says gruffly, coming over to shake his hand.
"Hi," Aaron replies. Rory can see his nervousness floating around him.
"This is Jess," Lorelai says again. "Luke's nephew," she adds.
"Nice to meet you," Aaron says with a tiny wave.
"Yeah, same here," Jess says and turns away.
"He's got an anti-social problem," Lorelai explains, with a wink. "Anyway, sit, sit. Luke's got coffee."
"But not for you," Luke says sternly as he pours two cups.
"Luke, honestly, you should have been a doctor."
"I missed my true calling," Luke mutter and sets the mugs down. Aaron drinks gratefully, but Rory is too busy observing Jess just a few feet away.
"So, Aaron. Junior professor at MIT?" Lorelai asks.
"Yes. Yes."
"What do you teach?"
"Uh, for right now, an introductory calculus course, but later, I'll be in the topographical algebra field."
"Sounds exciting," Lorelai says, nodding.
"Well, the professorship is, but the subject's not exciting to most."
"That's true."
A pause.
Luke says, "You went to MIT?"
"Yes. I got a scholarship in my senior year of high school. I wasn't expecting it. But I guess those standardized tests are good for something."
Another pause.
Lorelai says, "Do you like Boston?"
"Yeah, just not the traffic. But the newspaper's excellent."
Another pause.
Luke says, "And Rory tells me you like coffee."
"I do. I drink about two gallons a day. With sugar. Creamer sometimes. They have some really good stuff in the cafeteria at MIT. Well, it's the only good thing at the MIT cafeteria."
"Just what we need, another coffee addict," Luke mumbles.
Another pause.
Lorelai says, "So, do you like to read?"
"Well, not as much as Rory. I'm more mathematically-minded."
Lorelai nods.
Another pause.
Luke says, "Jess likes reading."
Aaron smiles. "That's good."
Another pause.
Lorelai says, "So, what's your family like?"
"My father died when I was seven and my mother lives in Florida now. She's single-handedly supporting the sunscreen industry. She's happy, though. And tan. Really tan. She's always more tan than I am. It's embarrassing, your mother always looking healthier, but uh…"
"Oh, that's tough, losing your dad so young."
"Yeah, it was."
"What's your mom doing for Christmas?"
"She's, uh, Jewish, but she's got a big group of friends down there. A lot of them don't have family coming, so they get together every year and celebrate. I think they play bridge. But maybe they just sit outside and tan. I'm never really sure. She's kind of vague on the phone, like it's a secret or something."
"Ah."
Another pause.
Luke says, "How's that soup coming, Jess?"
"Right along," Jess answers.
Luke jerks his thumb towards Jess and says to Aaron, "You two should talk sometime."
"Yeah," Aaron agrees.
Jess says nothing.
Another pause.
Lorelai says, "How's work, Rory?"
"Tedious."
"Any word from the Times?"
"Not yet. I called them back, but Glenn was on vacation."
"Bummer."
Another pause.
Luke says, "Hey, Jess, I'll take care of that. Why don't you and Aaron go talk, give Rory and Lorelai a little time?"
"Sure," Aaron agrees, eager to please.
Jess plunks his spoon down and brushes past Rory on his way out, no comment. Aaron looks confused.
"Just go ahead," Luke says. "He's not talkative, but you guys will get along."
"Maybe I'll shovel the walk," Aaron says uncomfortably as he stands.
"You don't have to do that," Lorelai says, smiling. "You don't have to leave. Luke's just being rude."
"No, that's fine. I should probably get our bags in," he says to Rory, leaning down and pecking her with his lips.
"See you in a minute," Rory calls as he leaves, then sits, dejected, at the table.
Lorelai smiles encouragingly. "He seems nice."
"He's usually a lot funnier," Rory says.
"He's nervous," Lorelai assures her soothingly. "He'll get over it."
"I mean, I've never had to pull teeth like that," Rory continues, ignoring her mother's words.
"Don't worry, hon, by then end of the weekend, he'll be talking like Anna Nicole Smith with a quart of rum in her."
Rory pulls a face. "I like pulling teeth."
Outside, Jess smokes on the porch. Aaron comes out of the house, shutting the door quietly behind him. "Hey," he greets Jess.
"Hey," Jess says coolly, not even a hint of apology in his voice.
Aaron leans against the opposite post. "So, do you live here?"
"New York."
"Ah, the Big Apple," Aaron says, nodding. Jess rolls his eyes. "What do you do?"
"I own a bookstore."
"Really? One I've heard of?"
"I doubt it," Jess sneers.
"Okay," Aaron responds. "So, you like it up there?"
"Better than here."
"I like this town."
"You've been here for twenty minutes."
"It's…quaint."
Jess snorts very, very softly. "Understatement. It's rudimentary. It's Laura Ingalls Wilder with electricity."
"So, did you grow up here?"
"Nope."
Aaron searches for another conversation point. "Are you close with Rory?"
Jess gives him an incredulous look that Aaron can't figure out. Though he shows no emotion, Jess smokes his cigarette a little faster, taking rapid pulls and stubbing it out fast, burning his indelible mark on the porch wood. "No," he says.
"Oh."
"I'm going in. It's cold," Jess says, turning and stepping sharply inside. Aaron breathes out hard, wondering about Jess, about their stilted, almost hostile, conversation.
Inside, Jess doesn't acknowledge Rory as they pass in the foyer. "Jess?" Rory asks softly, but he breezes by, the smell of his smoke and the crispness of his chill lingering.
*
At two A.M., Jess is still up, the writing the novel he'll probably never finish. Just the fact that it's in such a beat-up notebook with haphazard notes scrawled all over has doomed it from the start. A massive assault of writer's block has seized him in Stars Hollow, so the notebook has been carelessly discarded on the porch. He sits outside on the porch swing smoking, watching the wisps singe the air.
In her bedroom, Rory is awake as well. She heard him go out onto the porch half an hour ago and has been contemplating joining him. Aaron offered to go and sleep at the inn, so as to give them all the room they needed and Rory guiltily didn't protest.
Her mind made up, she slithers out of bed and into slippers. The house is deathly silent as Rory sneaks past the tree and out into the bitter cold. She sees Jess' curving S of smoke and takes a deep breath before hauling herself over there.
"Hey," she says, standing at the edge of the swing.
Jess' eyes swipe her coolly and Rory sits next to him. He starts to get up. "Wait," Rory pleads. Going against his gut, Jess stays. "How are you?"
A scathing laugh drifts between them. "Super fantastic."
"Good," Rory replies.
"That Aaron guy—what a talker," Jess says sarcastically.
"Oh, and I'm sure you were the epitome of polite," Rory shoots back, angered at his pot-calling-the-kettle-black dig.
"I mean, really, those pauses were more like musical rests."
"Stop," Rory says, upset. "Aaron's a nice man."
"A nice man," Jess repeats, pulling another smoke out.
"Don't smoke that," Rory commands, a disdainful note in her voice.
"You can leave if you want," Jess offers, searching for his lighter.
"You quit."
"I took it up again."
"Sheesh," Rory mutters, turning away from the acrid smell.
"You two serious?"
"None of your business."
"You're right. I'm just the guy you fuck occasionally," Jess spits.
Rory's chin trembles. "I knew you'd do this."
"Do what?"
"Shoot Aaron down."
"Why shouldn't I?"
"I like him, for one."
"You also like Wilco. I can shoot them down."
"That's not the same and you know it."
"It's just opinion, Rory. If you like him so much, it shouldn't matter."
"I want you to be nice to him. He already feels unwelcome."
"It couldn't be because you banished him to the inn, could it?"
"I didn't banish him, he offered."
Jess rolls his eyes. "You're dating. You can sleep in the same bed."
"It's a twin."
"We did it," Jess retorts, looking at her face.
"You're smaller," Rory cuts at him, leaning on the double entendre.
"Of course, he would know nothing about that." Rory pauses, befuddled. "I mean, you obviously didn't see it fit to tell him anything."
"About us?"
"Yeah."
Rory sighs raggedly. "What's the point? We went out. We broke up."
"Yeah, that's pretty much the whole story."
"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Rory explodes. "'Hey, Aaron? You know Jess? We used to sleep together a lot. Don't let that make you uncomfortable, though.' Sure, great plan."
"You gonna marry him?"
"What?"
"Are you?"
"I don't know. We've only been going out for a few months."
"You are."
"Like you'd know."
"He's perfect for you. A professor. You'll have a brick and ivy house on the campus, a dog, two kids—"
"Shut up. You don't know that."
"Sure, Rory," Jess says with a jaded chuckle. "He's exactly what you've been looking for."
"And you know what I've been looking for."
"Yeah, him."
"What's so wrong with Aaron?" Rory demands.
Jess stubs the smoke out. "Nothing."
"So, what, you spend all this time tearing him down for nothing? He's a great man, Jess. He works hard, he likes his job, he treats me—"
"Like a little princess," Jess interjects. "Just what you've always wanted."
"Why are you doing this?!"
"You think that's gonna work, Rory?" Jess asks, his voice rising. "You're gonna be so bored with him. You're gonna sit in your house everyday, Scarlett with Ashley."
"You don't know anything about that!"
"I know about you, though."
"You—"
And Jess leans down and kisses her suddenly, taking every bit of breath with him. Instinctively, Rory kisses him back, clutching at him, pulling at him, remembering how much she misses the feel and taste of him. His kiss is absolutely powerful, causing her to forget about everything else. Like the smoke into the air, she whispers into him, feeling their fibers meld to one another.
He tries to break apart, but Rory doesn't want to, doesn't want to remember anything. If he keeps kissing her, she'll never have to think about Aaron or how this will turn out badly. Surprised, he complies with her urgent request, diving into her eagerly.
Somewhere dark, Rory waits for her conscience to kick in, but it doesn't. So she drags Jess through the door with her, to her unlit bedroom and stumbles onto the bed.
"Rory," he says, starting to leave her, but she can't let that happen, can't let him leave her with her thoughts.
"Don't," she says, tugging him on top of her, rubbing her leg between his. He moans very, very quietly and Rory conquers his mouth again, her hands busily plucking his shirt. Had her mind been working properly, she would have been appalled at her forwardness, but the small spark of lust that she always carries for Jess became the proverbial torch the second he kissed her.
Grasping her, Jess rolls them so that Rory sits on top of him. It comes back to her like riding a bicycle and Rory grinds herself against him, bending to kiss him. While she works on his neck, Jess removes her shirt, exposing her skin to the chill. He flips them again, disorienting Rory on purpose as he flutters his lips down her chest to her waist. Impatient, Rory wriggles, silently begging him to remove the obtrusive garment.
Upstairs, Luke and Lorelai sleep, unwitting. But at the inn, something nebulous tortures Aaron, who remains stubbornly awake.