I hummed softly as I got the last bunch of roses wrapped up in a plastic covering, placing them into a neat pile on to a four-wheel cart ready for Legoshi to transport them to drama club. Wiping the sweat that had formed on my forehead, I smiled proudly to myself on how well each bundle had looked. I only hoped that this would be enough to decorate the entrance of the auditorium, I have seen how big the doors have looked and it would surely need a lot of flowers to create how the design looked in the picture.
As the wind blew softly cooling me down from my hard work, a carnation, a blue one, from one of the pots sitting nearby, snapped off from its stem and began to float along with the breeze. Rushing towards it, I caught it in my hand carefully, holding it tightly to my chest, shielding it from any other kind of harm.
Looking up at the sky, fluffy white clouds meet my gaze, a lively dark shade of blue painted it. Its natural masterpiece made me slowly smile, it reminds me of those days when I would lay out in the open field and watch the clouds turn into many shapes and feel the sun shined down on me. Like a plant or a flower, I felt alive and growing when I was where I felt I truly belonged. Although it wasn't the same, here it had some of the same feeling.
Looking down at the carnation, it was the same kind Legoshi had sniffed out on my person when he saved me from the storm. My heart fluttered remembering how curious he was and how his soft fur tickled my face, in that moment, I think he looked truly happy. Like how he should be, all the time.
As much as I have a crush on him, I was having doubts I could make it work out with him, I didn't even know his feelings towards me. I highly doubted he had any interest of that kind especially for someone like me. A mutant and a wolf together, I would think all or most would say it would just be a love disaster. That two different species, from two different worlds wouldn't be compatible.
My fingers gingerly touched the petals, a small frown forming on my face.
I wouldn't be an option for any species here, I would be having to compete to win the affections of any potential male and any female here would defeat me each time. Maybe all I could do was dream, live in a fantasy world in order to make it seem like something real like that could happen for me. Or simply just to avoid the pain of being lonely.
I don't know the laws of relationships worked here in this world, could it be possible that two different species could make a loving relationship work? I know it may seem strange for an unknown species, like myself, to have feelings or attraction towards an animal, but I mean they acted like people, kind of like some good people from my previous world. They have the ability to express real emotion and feelings, they might not look like the species that were in my world let alone look like my species, but they still could express, feel, and experience like how I was able to.
I sighed softly and looked towards the shed where Legoshi and Haru were in.
Why was I wasting my time and breath? I know he wouldn't be feeling the same way about me, my chances with him were slim to none. I would just be chasing a silly dream, and not be happy, about someone that I can't have. All this would do would bring me sadness to my already broken heart.
"Well, I better let them know that the roses are ready"
As I made my way towards the shed, I felt my foot roll on top of something that caused it to be suddenly jerked backwards, making me fall forward landing on the side of my head. Groaning in pain, I slowly sat up to see my uniform covered with dirt and the carnation that was once in my hand was flattened out on the ground from my weight. I gasped softly, trying to gently pull the petals back out, but the damage had been done. It was too late.
"I'm so sorry little one, even a beautiful flower like yourself can't be trusted in the hands of a monster"
Maybe I could save it, I mean if Legoshi, could help a beetle walk again, maybe I could help this flower grow properly again. I could only try. Carefully I slipped the flattened carnation pinning it into the inside of my scarf. As I dusted myself off, I ran my hand through my hair to feel one of my horns brush up against my fingers. But feeling it, I could feel something different. Running my finger over it again, I felt an indent. Uh no, did it?
I looked behind me to see a dusty trowel was on the ground underneath my shoe. Can I get through one day without sustaining an injury? From getting my arm nearly torn off by an attacker, to getting my knees scraped by bullies, and now slipping on a little gardening tool and land in the dirt, I'm already bruised and battered enough as it is.
I walked over to a watering can and held it up to see my reflection, turning my head I could see a small spider crack on the back of my horn. Shit! Not again, these horns could take a punch but from a simple fall making it crack, I guess even appendages had their limitations. I was only grateful that it was just a crack, and it didn't break off entirely. Then I would really look like a freak, with just one horn.
"Just shake it off Aayame, it's not the worst thing in the world"
I started to make my way back to the shed, still letting my fingers unconsciously rub the crack with a grumble.
"Are you nervous?" Haru asked as she undoes Legoshi's suspenders in the front "Just relax"
She began to unbuckle his belt, with a hinted sultry glint in her eyes. "This is my first time with a carnivore too, you know"
Legoshi on the other hand, is freaking out internally and sweating profusely frozen his spot unable to move, watching every move the small white rabbit was doing to him.
Is...this some sort of greeting?
"Wow the color of your fur on your stomach is the same as your face" She comments as she lets her hands wander through his fur
Maybe something exclusive to small animals?
Then she began to unzip his pants. "It's a beautiful cream color. I want to see how far it goes, is that okay?"
And with that she began to lower his pants with her tiny hands.
As I gripped the door handle and began to walk inside, still rubbing at my newest injury, I was met with an all too familiar sight. "Okay Haru the roses are all ready for transport-"
"No it's not okay!"
Quickly in a blink of an eye, Legoshi pulls and zips his pants up and slips his suspenders back over his shoulders. I became frozen in shock from the sight, my breath was caught in my throat. I could hardly breathe feeling my heart pound uncomfortably in my chest. Haru didn't even looked phased or surprised that I entered in the shed, even though she was only in her lingerie.
What had been unfolded in front of me, made the familiar screams of my child-self fill my ears, screams filled with pain and fear. "What's wrong? I'm doing all the work trying to set the mood here, you know?"
"W-what?"
The familiar sound of pants unzipping, and sinister laughter began to join the screaming. The clanking of chains, the crying and begging of a little girl telling her attacker that she didn't want this. But it was no use, that's when the excoriating pain was forced upon her, and each second was agonizing and even then, when they were finished, she still screamed in pain curled up in a ball, trying to protect herself the best she was able to in her restraints.
"Don't you want to-"
Haru's eyes grew wide before she gasped, freaking out almost accidentally forcing herself on to the wolf. Legoshi avoids looking at the girl, who seemed to be too much in shock to notice. He covers the rabbit with a blanket. "H-here y-you're going to catch a cold" He stammered and heads to the door "Y-you should put on your uniform; I'm going to go!"
Legoshi looked towards the girl for a few moments, unaware that she was suffering a panic attack, silently apologizing for the huge embarrassment of being caught in a situation like this with her friend.
"Have a good day! Ah! Ouch!"
He ran before slamming the door on to his sensitive tail leaving the two girls alone.
As the screaming continued, the sound of a loud metal door would be slammed shut, finally snapping me out of the nightmare. I was back in the shed and saw Haru sitting on the bed, smiling to herself with a giggle. "Strange kid", she comments
What had just happened? Did I see what I had witness happen to many others I couldn't save? That I had to watch helplessly? I had to leave; I couldn't be here. So much for this place to be a sanctuary. A beautiful garden, yes it may be, but it was the devil's garden now.
"H-Haru-I can't...I-I have to go!"
I grabbed my backpack and flute, then turn on my heels and ran to the same door Legoshi ran through. "Aayame wait-!"
Panicking I picked up in speed and forced myself through, not even caring about the door being swung off its hinges. I rushed down the steps, taking two or three steps at a time. I could feel tears rushing furiously down my face. I could hardly see where I was going with the number of tears bubbling in my eyes, every whip of my head I made running down the stairs caused a sharp pain to hit the front of my forehead.
I was too much in a state of panic to realize myself coming up to a wet puddle at the base of a staircase that caused me to slip and tumble down a whole flight of stairs till I came to rest on the cold floor.
Scared, now wet and hurt, I managed to get up to my hands and knees, I couldn't stop the overflowing number of tears that dripped on to the floor beneath me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to hide, one of the darkest demons of my past had resurfaced and even though it wasn't intended for me, I could feel the pain of past experiences shoot throughout my entire body. The smell of violation, blood and alcohol was all too familiar from each encounter.
My body shook violently as I sat up and huddled up to a corner of the hallway, pulling my legs up to my chest. I remember shaking this violently whether it was due to being so cold, so hungry from lack of nutrition, or facing the aftermath of being...sexually assaulted. Trying to relieve myself from the shock, I began to rock softly back and forth. I thought the breakdown from the other day was brutal, but this was even worse.
I was so confused, I thought Haru was my friend, or is she still my friend? She was my first friend I ever had and seeing how she did something to bring me to this state with the one person that has captured my attention, I wasn't so sure on what to do next. I felt hurt that my friend would do something like that, to the person whom I have come to adore. But then again, she wouldn't have known my attraction to him anyways, I haven't told anyone about it.
Then again, it's not like we were together anyways, as much as I wish we could be. I should have just dropped that attraction when I had the chance, maybe then I wouldn't be such a mess like right now.
Wiping my tears away, I looked down at my dirty and wet uniform, great I better go get changed before I let anyone see me like this. I slowly got to my feet and took the longest way around that was rarely used by students to get back to my dorm, safe and sound.
Meanwhile, Legoshi was jumping down multiple steps of another staircase in his own panicked state, he was able to meet up with Kibi and make their way back to the club. They pass by a couple of mice students as he explained to the anteater of how nothing happened in the garden, but it was a total lie. Instead, he only tells of the conversation that he had with the girl and the few words about the white rabbit.
"I see, well that's a relief" Kibi squeaks "You were jumping down four steps at a time, so I thought something bad happened"
"Something bad like...what?" The wolf questioned curiously, forgetting about what happened, he wondered on what could possibly have happened in the gardening club
Suddenly Kibi pinned him up against the wall, by his lower half and meets the distressed eyes of the anteater.
"Apparently this is a pretty well-known rumor among the herbivores, the talk around school is that she's really promiscuous and has been with a lot of guys. Basically, she's a slut."
Kibi glanced around some before moving in closer in a quieter tone, as if he were afraid the girl would hear him, even with no sign that she was nearby.
"And that mutant species, the one with no animal features, from what I heard, she had a confrontation with Louis the other day and it ended pretty badly. A lot of animals stay away from her now because it is rumored that she has some kind of weapon unlike anything the world has ever seen. She is a freak. They are both trouble so stay away. Disappointing right? I mean the rabbit looks so innocent, but I guess she would never attempt to seduce a wolf. But as far as the horned girl goes, she looks innocent too, but unless you want to see her violent weapon, more violent than fangs and claws, better not mess with her temper"
Legoshi was stunned by all the information. A slut? A violent mutant?
She was so kind and gentle to me, nobody has behaved anything like that towards me ever. She even kept calm when defending me in the cafeteria this morning. She apologized for touching my tail and would help those in need, even if they didn't want it from her.
The fight he knows about, but she has some kind of violent weapon, more violent than fangs and claws, what could be more violent than that? He knew Louis was intimidating towards male students, but the fact that he attacked a female student blew his mind. So many girls adored him, and he goes behind their back and does this to one of them? Everyone avoided her like she was a disease even the bravest carnivores avoided her, but yet none wouldn't even give her a chance, like how she did with him.
The rabbit, she looks innocent but...being compared to her, she was the one with an angelic soul. She probably was in shock thinking I would be doing something like that with possibly her only friend here at school. She must be angry with me; she probably won't even want to talk to me again!
"So did you get those roses?"
Legoshi's mind began to wander looking outside to a window, to see flowers growing in a small bed.
The flowers, they're so precious to her...because they're so important to her friend "They're are her babies", that's what she told me.
"I'll talk to the others...figure out somewhere else to get the roses," He softly spoke, before turning to walk away to head outside the building
"There may be untrue rumors out there, but I think they're good people. Both of them"
So, she's known around the school as "the violent horned freak"
The lone wolf thought as he sat on the only bench on the field, the sunset was painting the sky in a beautiful warm orange. A tall windmill stands nearby in the grass, reaching high towards the scattered clouds across the horizon.
The area was quiet and empty, he might spot a few students passing through, but it was still rather lonesome as he sat alone, with his own thoughts.
God they are all so narrow minded. Well, I'm not really one to talk...I was about to devour her. But I'm not too familiar with girls in general. Truth is, I've never had a girlfriend before.
He sighed softly slumping back against the wooden frame. His eyes slowly looking to the slowly changing colored sky. His mind began to replay the moment. That was the first time a girl had shown him any interest in him. And being caught by the girl, who he was becoming intrigued with the more he spent time around her, he couldn't forget that face. She looked lost in her own world, like she was battling something in her mind too, like he was before he found himself in front of the rabbit. Great, now he thinks she must be thinking the worst of him right now, how he would be having sex with someone he barely just met. He must have surely scared her off for good.
But he was ripped from his thoughts by that...that scent.
Honey and cherry blossom, it was her, but wait why was she here? With everything that she had seen, she should have been running in the opposite direction. His body tensed up stiffly and his heart began to pound harder and faster, could almost go through his ribcage from how hard it's working. And that's when he saw her...
Her small frame approached him slowly, her delicate hands interlaced in front of her.
What should I do? Should I call her over? Say hello? Not saying anything? I don't want to scare her or make her more uncomfortable than she could be right now. I want to look at her, but then she will think I am a creep or a pervert! Argh why is this so hard?!
"H-hey"
With a second wasted, his eyes were on her. His cheeks were burning hot as he stared at her, god she was beautiful. How could anyone not look at her like I do? "Uhm mind if I join you?"
"Oh..uh...yeah sure. Go ahead"
He scoots over some to give her more space. Sitting down softly, her hands dusted the skirt of her dress, till her arms relaxed in her lap. He noticed a small crack on the back of one of her small left white horn, oh no was she hurt? Did something else happened? This girl couldn't catch a break.
"H-hey your horn, are you okay?"
"Oh uhm yeah that...uh"
She bit her lip and her cheeks blossomed with red. Red, it was definitely her color, like a beautiful red rose.
"It's nothing serious, when I was getting the roses ready for the club, I uhum, I tripped on a trowel and landed on the ground. Usually, little cracks like that heal on their own time, so I am not too bothered by it. Honestly, it's the smallest injury I have ever gotten in my whole life. I was coming b-back to let you know they were ready and that's w-when I walked in on you two, and well uh you know the rest"
Dear god, this was so embarrassing. "Oh about that, nothing happened even, I-I wasn't even wanting to-not that I mean! I-I am so sorry-I didn't-"
She sniffled a little, a few tears began to bubble in her eyes, oh no he was getting her upset. Man, he wasn't good with girls at all! No wonder he was so awkward! But he caught the little smile as she turned to him.
"Why are you sorry? I'm not upset with you if that's what you are thinking. I could tell something was a bit off even before I opened the door, my senses told me not to investigate but I wanted to make sure everything was okay. But when I saw that, it didn't look like it was consensual, I-I mean you didn't look like you wanted it. Its j-just brought up a bad memory for me, that's all"
How could she not be mad with me? Wait, a bad memory? What is she talking about? Wait is she crying?
I couldn't stop the tears that were coming down from my cheeks, but no matter who hard I tried to conceal them from him, it was unsuccessful, I was starting to lose control. No, don't do this! Not in front of him! He can't see you like this! Get a grip on yourself!
"I have seen that before, where someone comes on to someone else with different intentions, and that's happened to me too. I was just frightened that it was happening right in front of me, and I wasn't sure what to do. It's like my mind had just shut down and I-I'm so sorry I didn't do anything...to help"
Legoshi could feel like someone had just punched him. It's like she felt exactly the kind of pain that she was feeling all throughout his body. Was she-?
"I don't know what to think now, I mean I don't want to judge but I thought we were friends, but I am not so sure-I am just really confused"
I looked towards him, after regaining some of my composure. "Are you alright?"
"Huh?"
Wait? She...she was worried about me? Worried that her friend was forcing herself on to me? A giant wolf? How could she not be angry with me? Anyone would be infuriated to see two people who just met already doing a sex encounter together, but she...she wasn't. Even with her looking and sounding hurt, she was looking out for my interests before hers. Did she actually care enough to know what really happened? Does she see more in me than just some grey wolf more than anyone else?
"I-I'm okay, thank you" He finally was able to answer "I didn't really notice until the last second, I was just too-"
"Don't worry, you don't have to explain yourself, I am just glad that something wasn't done to hurt you. I would feel awful if something had happened. But I am happy you are okay"
She gave him a relieved smile and that made this wolf's tail begin to wag slightly side to side without him even noticing the involuntary movement. "H-how are your knees?"
"Oh, they are fine, still kind of hurt, but they are feeling better. Relieved that I didn't have to get any stitches, n-not a big fan of needles"
She turned away slightly letting her hand hiding some of her flowing hair behind her ear.
She's...She's so...
"...beautiful" He actually said out loud, but stiffened up when he realized what he had just said
Oh god, did I just say that out loud? Now she will really think of me as a creep!
I froze in my place; did I really just hear that correctly? I could feel my cheeks burn up for the millionth time and my head quickly turned to him, my eyes wide with surprise. Oh my gosh! He actually said that?! I mean I never thought I would hear him see that, I mean I have dreamt about it, but to hear it in real life? It sounded like music to my ears! "You really think that?"
He called me beautiful. He just called me beautiful! No one has ever called me that before, but to hear it from my crush, I felt like I was in heaven right now!
"I'm sorry! S-sorry, uh, I gotta go! Bye!" He stumbled in speech, losing his footing struggling to get off the bench
"W-wait!"
But he had vanished, wow he was fast. And I thought I had some fast reflexes, but it looks like I had met my match.
"Legoshi..."
I stood up from the bench hoping he would come back, but as the moments passed, I knew he wasn't going to come back. Sighing with defeat, I sat back down on the bench, watching the rest of the late evening slowly turned to night.
Why did he call me that? Wait from his encounter with my not so sure still friend, did he call her that too? Sure, she was beautiful to me at least she was. But for me, I would look less than appealing for any male here. But he did call my horns cute, or was he just trying to be nice? Now I was overthinking everything that has happened between me and him. I thought for sure that this was my chance to be with him, but maybe it was too good to be true. Maybe there wasn't a chance for me to begin with, so much for true love for even a freak like me.
"I thought this world was changing for me, but now, I think it's more against me now than before"
The next day, right before I could leave my dorm room, I was met with a letter attached by a piece of tape on my door. Carefully pulling it off, it was a message from the school's principal scheduling a meeting with him and Sanu at the end of the school day. Oh great! My worst fears were being realized. Louis must have said something, now I was probably going to end up expelled from school, live in captivity once more to endure painful experiments and torture! I hardly survived the first prison and having to go through another this time with anthropomorphic animals, they probably had worse methods of torture than my previous world. This was a death sentence for me.
I kept my earbuds in the whole day blocking out any noises that could have reached my ears. I just wanted to shut everything and everyone out. I had many thoughts of how the meeting was going to go down and the more I think about it, the more anxiety was building up. Why was this happening to me? I was acting out in self-defense, I am innocent! Innocent! Will anyone believe me?!
I even wore my earbuds in all my classes playing soft music, not even hearing what the teachers had to say during lectures, luckily, they didn't notice with my hair being so long. Having a day just to pretend and be lost actually started to make things feel a little better, a bit more copiable.
After another hard day, of dealing with the long stares at least I wasn't able to hear more hurtful discrimination due to my music, thank goodness it was almost over but only to realize I would have another one waiting for me by morning. If I had another that is. But I wasn't able to skip drama club since we had to go to the auditorium to listen to Louis's speech about the significance of coexistence after the principal presented our club with an honor award.
Friendly coexistence would seem to be a dream come true, a dream anyone would want to have, but as long as there is arrogance and discrimination that dream would always be deemed as a fairy tale. Even with my species who could have coexisted with the other species that dominated my previous world, that would still be a fairy tale. I have even seen the species responsible for my captivity fight against each other, being so ugly and hurtful. If only there was a reset switch to change what horrible events happened in the past, to give people a second chance to try again, the right way. Maybe then, my world and this world wouldn't be so bad.
I was surprised Louis was able to give such a speech, sure he was warned about his behavior towards me, but still is given the opportunity to still lead a school after his behavior, it left me appalled. He doesn't have the right anymore...
But it was pointless to fight against it, the deer had everyone here wrapped around his finger just because of charm and looks. Later on, I looked at the school's map and was able to locate the principal's office and already I could feel my stomach twisting tightly into knots, waiting for those dreadful words to be spilled out. "You are expelled from this school and will be transported to a facility for further research on your species"
I feel like I have hit rock bottom and I was truly alone now, I prepared myself for the worst to happen. I was scared, really scared, I'd much rather take my own life now standing right here in front of the principal's door, than having to be put through another hell again. I would surely lose my sanity and would become a real monster.
I wouldn't even trust myself to be around anyone if I did.
From all the injuries I have sustained, the people who have bullied and attacked me, and from all the emotions that have spilled out of me, how could I have not snapped by now? Of all the men that I have killed that caused my pain, my mind and heart were still broken, even though revenge was sought. I was only just one footstep away from going home, I didn't have the chance to enjoy, not even for just a moment.
I missed my family. I missed my mother. I missed her every day, she took her last breath to save me from the captors. To save my life from living in darkness and destruction. I would never forget the look she gave me right when they snatched me from her arms. Filled with horror and pain.
I knocked on the door with a few gentle knocks with my fingers and opened the door slowly. "H-hello?"
There in the room was the headmaster, was a tiger that looked to be friendly and Sanu the pelican from drama club. "M-may I come in? I-I got your letter"
"Dear child yes please do come in, no need to be shy, a gentle one she is, you were right Sanu"
Sanu nodded with approval as I walked inside slowly, holding my hands together, squeezing them tightly. "Hello Aayame, glad you could join us, I am assuming you are wanting to know why we requested you to come here"
My knees were threatening to buckle, I was so close to vomiting out of stress. "Uhm, y-yes sir, a-am I in trouble?"
"Goodness no! No trouble of any kind"
"W-what?"
I could feel myself sigh heavily in relief inside; if I could collapse right now I would but I kept my composure. I was safe. For now, at least. "I am not in trouble?"
"No my dear, the reason we called you in was a welfare check"
"Welfare check? W-wait I am confused, what for?"
"I am aware that you and our head actor of the drama club, Louis have had your differences and about the incident that has happened. And we wanted to sincerely apologize on the school's behalf that you had to endure that. He has been made aware about his mistakes and I assure you, he will not bother you any longer"
Wait? They know? Who could have possibly told them? Oh...Legoshi, you didn't. It had to have been him, who else would have told the headmaster about the assault. I really wanted that incident to die, forget that it ever happened. But in some light, I am glad that someone knows that I have been violated and it was dealt with.
"I'm not going to hold my breath on that one, not until I see a for sure change" Crossing my arms over my chest
"That is most fair on your part young lady, but rest to assure you, if this incident happens to happen again to you, we will be making a disciplinary action against Louis. But we want to let you know that we think you have a lot of potential here at this school, your high marks in your classes have proven to us all. But we expect you to still keep your good reputation here as it is important for your future here in this world. But we have to ask you, if you don't feel comfortable being in drama club anymore, we can find a more suitable club for you to be a part of, do you want us to change that for you?"
The tiger and pelican looked at me with looks of understanding. The warm sunset streamed through the window casting me in a warm embrace. As I basked in the warmth of both the sun and two animals showing me empathy and kindness, I felt a new sense of feeling come over me, one of hope and strength.
As much as I didn't want to see that deer again, I wanted to prove to Louis I was going to be a better species and not be intimidated by his presence and make a difference in the school for all species. I wasn't going to let him win. I may be getting myself into a deeper hole, after all who wants to be near or talk to a horned freak? But I thought about what Ms. Kota had said before, how the most unique beings in this world turn out to make the greatest differences, if she believes me, then I would have to believe in myself too. I have got nothing else more to lose.
"Even though I had a rough start to the club, I am willing to give it a second chance. I think a fresh start is what I need, time for me to get back on track!"