Chapter 5: The Streets Aren't Paved In Gold
[Night. MCPD building. The gunship lands on the police department's helipad and out comes the sisters while an unconscious Alphonso is in a stretcher being sent to a hospital. The sisters then enter an elevator while several cops enter and then try to understand what happened out there]
Jorge: So? What happened to the criminal?
Delisa: SHUT UP, JORGE! FERDINAND, GET ME BACK TO THE PRISON!
Ferdinand: (to Nikita) What's her problem?
Nikita: (crossed) Just zip your mouth shut!
Jorge: Um? Where's Alphonso? He's supposed to be…
Anita: (grabs Jorge by the throat and slams him to the wall) Listen to me, you clown! We are NOT IN THE MOOD FOR ANY QUESTIONS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND! WE ARE COMPLETELY TIRED! WE WANT TO GO HOME AND FORGET ABOUT THIS DAY! SO PLEASE, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, DO YOUR JOB AND LEAVE US ALONE!
[The elevator dings to the ground floor and outside awaiting comes the sisters is their personal chauffeur]
Jessica: (upset and scowling) What are you looking at, Pancho!?
Pancho:(shaking) Your limo, senora?
[The sisters enter the limo while giving their chauffeur punches in disgust. Pancho then drives them back to the Suarez residence while the sisters stare in silence. Jessica then breaks the silence]
Jessica: Oh, look. The eyesore is back. I came back and now I have to see that mess.
[Jessica points to a billboard of Sergio showcasing some robots that say: The Future of Miracle City begins with them. 325,567,829 pesos per bot]
Pancho: He may be an eyesore, but ever since his arrival this town has advanced to the future. That brain of his helped develop many of the weapons and defense systems the police have used in this section. His inventions are what's going to make Miracle City richer and safer than Mexico City. We depend on him to make sure everyone else follows suit.
Jessica: At least with his latest inventions, we can finally convert those filthy slums into clean, livable housing. I can't stand Old Miracle City! So much filthy, ugly, and stupid gays!
Nikita: And R. Gutierrez too. Can't believe that dump used to house our wonderful government.
Anita: And Equihua District. So many old people. Soon they'll die off and that area will become a water treatment plant, once we hire another head engineer.
[The limo then stops at the mansion and the sisters enter the house, ashamed. They're reprimanded by their mother]
Carmelita: Typical for you girls. You were given one task! Capture a criminal and you can't even do it right!
Nikita: We were caught off guard.
Carmelita: Shut up! And thanks to you two, my beautiful son, Alphonso, is in the hospital, clinging to life from that gash in his chest!
Anita & Jessica: (in unison) We're sorry.
Carmelita: (condescending) We're sorry. That's you. At least your father has the guts to do his job right! And now that estupido Frida is making her wedding day impossible!
Jessica: Why?
Carmelita: Oh, you know! (condescendly imitating) Where's the bathroom? When is Sergio coming? Why does this dress fall off of me?
Anita: So? Where is Frida?
Carmelita: Oh, I don't know?! I left in a huff when she kept whining too much! I just want that sad sack out of this house and with her new husband! After that, I can focus on my job as the judge for this town.
[Intro]
[Dawn. Estates. The Vampiros are getting up early to tend the fields. Some are checking the canal to see if it's overflowing. Suddenly, a noise interrupts their daily chores]
Mexican Vampiro: Who's interrupting!?
Jim-Bob: I don't know but let's see?
[People chanting]
?: Hey hey! Ho ho! Stop the slaughter! Let them go! (x3)
Villager 1: Oh, dios! Not again!
Ernest: Oh, dear. It's them eyesores again!
Shaolin Vampiro: The Mexicans Interrupting, Ending, Ruining, & Destroying Animal Abuse or M.I.E.R.D.A.A!
Texan Vampiro: Not those crazy vegans again! What do they want with us this time!?
M.I.E.R.D.A.A. protester: We demand you shut down this goat farm! It's killing these poor goats by stuffing them for blood tacos!
[The poor goats look at the protester with a response that says "What are you talking about, idiota!?"]
M.I.E.R.D.A.A. protester: The milk you're siphoning out of them to feed your caramel addictions are starving these poor kids!
[The kid goats look at the other protester with a response that says "Oh sure! We're suffering!"]
M.I.E.R.D.A.A. protester: I have opened the gate! Run to freedom, fellow goat!
[Goat replies with a bahh! Subtitles: GET A LIFE, CHAMACO!]
Villager 2: Hey! Leave this farm, you fruitcake! Some of us need to make a living!
M.I.E.R.D.A.A. protester: This is no farm! It's a prison and we are liberating the prisoners! Why can't you get a job that doesn't harm small animals!
M.I.E.R.D.A.A. protester: Yeah! The goats here want clean pastures, not confined spaces! They want to be fed grass, not subsidized produce!
Villager 3: There's mile after mile of pure desert out there! They'll starve if we let them out.
M.I.E.R.D.A.A. protester: It's better to be free than to live in tight spaces!
Villager 3: But they'll starve!?
M.I.E.R.D.A.A. protester: They're goats! They got grit!
Villager 3: (logically indignant) BUT THEY'LL STARVE!?
M.I.E.R.D.A.A. protester: You don't get it! You're uneducated! You have zero knowledge of how animals emphasize humanity! These creatures want to live as free beings! And you're trapping them with your BREAD AND CIRCUS PARTIES!
[The goats have had enough with the protesters and ram their heads with glee. One replies with a bahh. Subtitles: I'M AWAITED IN VALHALLA!]
[Morning. Border wall. Manny and Django are at the wall, trying to enter the Middle section of Miracle City, only to have the border guards deny entry]
Border Guard 1: I'm sorry. But because of a lack of legal documents, we cannot let you enter the section.
Django: Can't we just pay to enter?
Border Guard 2: This is a border not a business. You need documents for entry. Get out or else!
Manny: Fine. We'll leave. Just pull that stick out of your ass! (upset) Douchebags! We asked them politely and this is the thanks we get. No wonder democracy doesn't exist here.
Django: You know? There are other ways to enter Richland. Underground ways?
Manny: (smiling) It's our spelunking days at NYC all over again.
[Manny and Django open a manhole and climb down the ladder. Flickering his claws, Manny and Django use the fire to figure out where East MC is. On the way, they find gruesome corpses]
Manny: Who are these people?
Django: Whoever they are, they must've died a violent death. Based on the facial features and the skeletal fissures, these individuals must have been part of unethical experiments. You know the type?
Manny: (seething) Of course. He's back! And I bet he's behind the trail of corpses surrounding my wonderful country. You know what needs to happen, right?
Django: Look, once we finish the current situation here, then we can focus on finding and killing that SOB. (looks at the water) I can't believe that lying bitch asked that bastard to revive me, lied that we were related, and used me for her evil plans.
Manny: I know that wound isn't healed, buddy. But trust me, without you around I would probably be more reckless than I am now.
[Django smiles from Manny's words and they continue walking the sewers until they approach a door. The two open and walk out the East Miracle City Sewage System. The response to Miracle City's Eastern side is deepening]
Manny: So gaudy!
Django: And they call Old M.C. an eyesore. Look at that dumb statue. Too much diamonds, am I right?
[They see a statue of Municipal President Rodriguez covered in gemstones riding a horse that says "Savior of the Century!"]
Manny: Ugh! What a waste of money! That justifies how big his ego is towards the city! We need to find the bastard now!
Django: Woah there! I know you want to rush things but you might give the people here a bad impression, especially with your belt buckle.
Manny: What, this thing? I only keep it for decoration. You know as well as I do that I absorbed my powers to change into El Tigre at any time.
Django: So why keep the belt?
Manny: Memories. A reminder of my life, before the incident. I need a whiff!
[Manny pulls out a joint until Django swipes it out of his hands]
Django: Slow down, buddy! No smoking, especially your medicine! Remember, medical marijuana is mega illegal here even in West MC!
Manny: I might have panic attacks if I don't smoke it! How am I supposed to feel better?
Django: Don't you have gum?
Manny: Yeah? But the taste is so ick!
Django: Dude, either ween it out or chew the gum?
[Manny reaches his right pocket and takes out his cannabis flavored gum. He takes a stick and chews it.]
Manny: (disgusted) Ugh! Tastes like liver & wheatgrass!
It's a small price to pay but at least you won't raise suspicion. Now we need to focus on our wardrobe. Since Richtown is uppity about style, we need clothes that say "whiny self-centered trust fund brats!"
[The two then find a haberdashery that's closed for the day with clothes that fit the description. Manny walks out with a 47k diamond overcoat, platinum suit jacket, charcoal suit pants, and gold plated loafers. Django walks out with a 39k tuxedo, 8 diamond watches, platinum high top sneakers, and an anthracite black fedora.]
Manny: Too much?
Django: In this part, nah!
[The two then walk the streets towards City Hall. Suddenly, they hear voices from the rich folk]
Random Storeowner: Hey, chamacos! Come to my haberdashery! I need customers like you to sell these wallets!
Random Banker: How rich are you two!? Care to send your money to offshore accounts!? Come inside Porfirio Bank? We'll handle your money with delicate care! Only a monthly maintenance of 50,000,000,000 pesos!
Random Waitress: Welcome to Delisle's Dessert Bar! We have a selection of rare and eclectic macarons! From palladium leafed to ruby encrusted, we provide our clients with foods that poor people can never afford!
Manny: Ruby encrusted macarons? Blegh! And I thought triple fried bacon cheeseburgers drenched in thousand island dressing was bad. This is why I hate the rich!
Django: This coming from the guy who happens to have an infinite amount of resources with the Vampiros?
Manny: That was from hard work and dedication. I earned my keep by plowing the fields and bargaining with tourists! I don't mooch off innocent taxpayers with the premise of buying a superyacht that I'll never use! At least I'm willing to fund projects for infrastructure instead of "magic bullets".
Django: Okay, I understand! Just calm down. I forget that we need to find a vehicle here. Know any rentals?
Manny: Rentals? In Richland? That's like asking an indigenous man where the power plant is.
Django: Well, do they have dealerships?
Manny: There's one!
[Manny and Django head to a luxury car dealership where a worker notices the two looking at the cars]
Sleazebag: Hello, fellow men! I'm the owner of this establishment and I see you're interested in my wares. Have you got the funds for these lovely vehicles?
Manny: Where's the electric ones?
Sleazebag: Electric?
Manny: These cars? They're gas guzzlers. I seek an electric vehicle for the sake of the Earth.
Sleazebag: Electric?
Manny: You know. The ones that run on clean energy instead of gasoline. They're ones that need charging instead of gas stations.
Sleazebag: Electric?
Django: Do you speak any language besides "broken record"!
Sleazebag: As you can see, our selection of cars vary from the Xocolitzo C8X to the new Tlaxcala Quarapancho.
Manny: These are no good for us! Do! You! Have! Any! Electric! Vehicles!
Sleazebag: Look, sir! I'm a salesman! Either buy something or leave! You're disturbing the other customers!
[Gun cock]
Django: You really want a bullet in your head. Give us a car that won't pollute the air, motherfucker!
[The two drive off with a "loser" car. The onlookers respond with confusion and perplexion.]
Bystander: What are they doing?
Bystander: Do they know what they're driving?
Bystander: Maybe it's a joke?
Django: 1,000 cars in that lot and the only vehicle available for free was this hybrid in a lane with a label saying: "What your middle class neighbor calls 'expensive'".
Manny: (seething) Hybrid cars. They're just gas guzzlers with a solar panel attached! Why do people think this sellout will save the planet!
Django: Nobody is rich like you, dude!
Manny: Humility. The one virtue I keep flubbing up. I can't help it that I'm boastful of my dedication.
[Suddenly, Manny stops the car when the traffic light turns red. While waiting for the light to turn green, Django spots a billboard of Sergio's inventions.]
Django: "Want to liberate your mundane life? Buy a 'Life Buddy'! This will make chores a thing of the past!" What a load of bullshit!
Manny: Is that the Sergio I've been hearing from the slums? I heard he's responsible for West MC's rampant homelessness. According to numerous Vampiros, the robots being built by his factories are taking away jobs from civilians for "mass efficiency" and skyrocketing stock prices. What a waste of engineering, if you ask me?
[Traffic light changes to green and the two complain while driving.]
Django: It's bad enough that the government is corrupt, now we have to deal with problem after problem. I swear, if that bitch I called nana was still alive, she wouldn't have to lift a finger given what Sergio and the pigs have done!
Manny: When I first heard of Sergio, I didn't think of it as detrimental. Now, I want to fix West MC and provide a better future for the people.
Django: What kept you?
Manny: The people and their hatred towards me.
Django: What about those civilians who wept about your "return"?
Manny: A few believers doesn't help the stigma we Rivera's have garnered. Especially, you know who?
Django: (irritated) That fucking hypocrite deserves to die a dictator's death!
Manny: (somber) He may be a hypocrite, but he's my…we're here!
[Manny stops the car and the two arrive at City Hall. Both guys look at the building with dirty looks. Manny walks to the entrance and pulls the door, only for the door to shutter.]
Manny: What the fuck! Why can't I open this door?!
Django: Hey! Dude! The sign says it's closed!
Manny: (outraged) CLOSED! RIGHT NOW! WHY?!
MP secretary: Oh. You want to meet the Municipal President?
Manny: Yes! I have to discuss something with him.
MP secretary: Oh, I'm so sorry. But MP Rodriguez is vacationing on his superyacht. He won't be available for 5 months. Sorry!
[Frustrated, Manny leaves with Django in an alleyway.]
Django: Okay. First off, calm down buddy.
Manny: (frustrated) CALM DOWN! 5 FUCKING MONTHS FOR BUILDING PERMITS! I MIGHT AS WELL GO TO HIS YACHT AND RAM MY FIST UP HIS ASS!
Django: Buddy! I know you're livid.
Manny: (frustrated) RAM MY FIST UP HIS ASS!
Django: But tell me something, what would yelling accomplish?
[Manny delivers a death glare before calming down.]
Manny: Okay. I get it. This is not going anywhere. But what else am I supposed to do with my anger?
[Suddenly, Shadow Manny appears out of the darkness and whispers into his ear. Manny's expression goes from lividness to astonishment]
Django: What happened?
Manny: My shadow tells me that the gonk presidente isn't in his yacht. He's somewhere in his private estate, lounging like some lazy coward.
Django: Then why did his secretary lie to us?
Manny: Either to throw us off or she might have found out our disguises.
Django: Shit! Look, I'm going to follow your shadow to his private estate and deliver a massive head crack to that jackass. You, on the other hand, try to hide from the cops and head back to the construction site. Take me to that private estate now.
[Django follows Shadow Manny to the estate while Manny walks the alleyway towards the sewage system entrance. However, a noise from a dumpster distracts him.]
Manny: Huh?
[groaning]
Manny: Hello?
[groaning]
Manny: Is someone in here?
[silence]
[Curious, Manny opens the dumpster and out of the garbage he finds Frida, disheveled and disoriented, waking up on trash. Manny greets her, cheerfully.]
Manny: Hey, sleepyhead! What are you doing in this dumpster? You got drunk and mistook this as your bed!?
Frida: (sotto) What? N…n…n…no?
Manny: Speak up, chica! No one can hear you talk unless you raise your voice!
Frida: (sotto) Who are you? You're not the police, right?
Manny: (sarcastic) Oh, yeah! I'm the police, alright! I dressed myself as a whiny trust fund bastard and I'm here to arrest you for sleeping! Hahahaha!
Frida: (sotto) How is that funny?
Manny: Grab my hand! I'm getting you out of this dump! No pun intended.
Frida: (sotto) Where are we going?
Manny: Home! At least what I call home!
[Manny then runs to the entrance with Frida in tow. Meanwhile, MCPD officers stop at the car dealership and talk with the salesman, in worry about the events that took place.]
Sleazebag: And then they took off without paying a peso! I swear, who points a loaded gun at me and takes off with a "loser" vehicle?
Ferdinand: And this is a crime, why?
Sleazebag: They were asking for an "electric" vehicle!
Butche: What? Are they environmentalists!?
Sleazebag: No! Just my usual customers, trust fund kids!
Rolf: And they robbed a "loser car"?
Sleazebag: Yes! Some hybrid vehicle I put on the loser aisle to show customers what I'm really selling!
Astra: I see! We'll get to the bottom of this, senor! In the meantime, just continue your work!
Sleazebag: Thank you, policia!
[The cops enter their cars and leave the dealership. They continue conversing about this "crime".]
Rolf: I just don't get it! Why would trust funders want to rob, of all things, a hybrid vehicle?
Butche: I mean, there are thousands of beautiful supercars in that lot and they prefer a car for women. And not sexy women.
Astra: Whatever the case, we need to tell the police chief about this!
Ferdinand: But Astra, it's not a major crime. If anything, it's more of "an upset child whose toy was taken from it".
Astra: It's what that dealer said. The boy who demanded an electric vehicle. His description of him, It may have been the El Tigre our officers have been slaughtered over his arrest!
[All three officers gasp over Astra's findings.]
Ferdinand: EL TIGRE!
Butche: The last remaining member of those Riveras!
Rolf: I heard he killed numerous officers without blinking and then Alphonse with a demon.
Astra: Exactly! If I'm right, we'll have permission from the police chief to use "the elixir'.
All 3 officers: "The Elixir"!
Astra: Yes! A project that was deemed "unethical" by the pansy Mexican president. Once we reveal our findings, El Tigre will finally be buried alongside his family lineage.
[Noon. Rodriguez Private Estate. Surrounded by bodyguards, Rodriguez is in his pool, sleeping. Suddenly, a window creeks and one of the guards goes to check.]
Guard #1: What was that?
Guard #2: What is it?
Guard #1: No idea. The window opened by itself.
Guard #2: This is what happens when the servants don't do their jobs right!
[Out of the shadows, Django starts searching room after room for Rodriguez. He then opens a door and enters his master bedroom. There, he finds unwritten permits, shredded documents, and tons of envelopes with pesos stuffed in them. He also encounters lots of syringes scattered on his bedroom floor. Django picks one up out of curiosity.]
Django: What the fuck are these? What is this liquid? In either case, I'm keeping one for research. Yo, Shadow! Any guards coming?
[Shadow Manny nods no.]
Django: Well, he's not in his room. I bet 500 pesos that the bastard's in the pool.
[Shadow Manny gleefully places 2000 pesos on that bet]
Django: (smiling) Heh. What a cute suggestion.
[Django and Shadow Manny head outside and find Rodriguez chilling at the pool. Shadow Manny gives 2000 pesos to Django and proceeds to wake up the short guy in terror.]
Shadow: Creepypasta scream!
Rodriguez: Ahh! What!? Who!? Where!? How?! (falls down to the water) Agh! Help! Help! Help me! I can't swim!
[Django picks up the little idiot and proceeds to talk with him]
Django: Hey! Why buy a pool if you can't swim!? Kind of a waste of money and water if you ask me!?
Rodriguez: Well, NOBODY ASKED YOU! (looks at Django, with fear) Ahh! Sartana's grandson is back to flay me alive! Help! Help! Bodyguards! Sartana's grandson is here to kill me!
[Suddenly, Django is surrounded by an array of armed guards. Nonchalant, Django pulls two Smith & Wesson 686 out of his pockets, closes his eyes, and shoots one guard after the other while Shadow Manny proceeds to slash guards left and right. Django then reloads the guns while dodging and skull kick guards. The fight ends with the last guard throwing holy water at the two only to flee in pants shitting terror. Rodriguez, hiding in a corner, begs Django and Shadow Manny for mercy.]
Rodriguez: (blubbering) Please! I'll do anything! Money! Women! Slaves! Anything!
Django: First of all, no! Second, I'm asexual! Third, seriously!? But, no. I want you to file these permits for my buddy's canal project!
Rodriguez: (deflated) That's it? You shot my guards and terrified my last one and you want me to file a stupid permit. What are you, the Mexican government?
Shadow: File permit or you become barbacoa meat!
[Rodriguez, now petrified, files the permits for the West Miracle City Canal project. Meanwhile, at the Mansiones Miracales, Manny is taking care of Frida in a near-constructed house while the Vampiros are taking vitals.]
Manny: Now don't be scared. We need to see whether you're healthy or you might have problems within yourself.
Rasta Vampiro: Yah, girl. Try to relax.
Frida: (sotto) Thanks, but I'm going to get married soon and my mother needs me…
Rasta Vampiro: Not in your condition, ya not! Look at you! You're emaciated! What type of husband thinks this is normal!?
Frida: (sotto) It's actually my mother and fiance. He likes skinny bodies. He thinks curves will make me unhealthy and my mother is willing to oblige just to remove me from her house.
Rasta Vampiro: What a load of bullshit! What type of bumbaclot has the right to say what your body size should be? If you ask me, you need to find yourself a right minded husband who loves yourself and not body shame ya!
Frida: (sotto) It's not that. Sergio has a preference towards skinny types. He thinks curvy women are too overrated.
Manny: Overrated? If he thinks that, no wonder it came out insensitive.
[Printing sounds are heard as Manny reads Frida's stats to her]
Manny: Ok. Frida Suarez. Age 15. Blood type AB+. That's a rare type you know. Hair color, blue. Eye color, black. Gender, non-binary.
Frida: (sotto) Wait? What? Non-binary? No, no, no. I'm a girl.
Manny: Not according to these findings. You're non-binary.
Frida: No, I'm a girl. My parents raised a girl. Therefore I'm a girl.
Manny: You say that but the tests don't lie.
Frida: Maybe the test was wrong?
Manny: No it wasn't!
Frida: How do you know?
Manny: I drank some of your blood.
Frida: Why?
Manny: Reasons. Either way, your blood tasted non-binary. Therefore, you are non-binary.
Frida: How can I be non-binary if I look like a girl?
Manny: Gender is a weird concept. Someone might look like a sexy woman but is in fact a trans man. Another is a man who talks and smells like a man but is in fact an agender individual. And then there's the non-binary folk. That is you, get it.
Frida: I have a giant existential crisis right now.
Manny: All you need to know is that you're really non-binary and that it's okay if you want to continue your life as a girl. Moving on, everything else is normal. You're just dehydrated. I suggest less liquor and more water.
Frida: Hahaha. Cute.
Manny: I'm serious, though. Drink water unless you want your fiance to go to your wake.
Rasta Vampiro: Aight, child. That's enough. Just drink some water and some of this birria we cooked today.
Manny: Birria? We're having goat today.
Shaolin Vampiro: Yes! One brave goat gave up his life, contentful.
Manny: Contentful? What happened?
Rasta Vampiro: M.I.E.R.D.A.A. came today and protested the goat farmers.
Manny: M.I.E.R.D.A.A.? Those assholes!? I thought I showed them the meaning of fear back at Durango?
Shaolin Vampiro: You know these groups. They walk blindly with their words yet no change happens.
Manny: This is why I prefer my omnivore lifestyle. I love to eat ribeyes but I also prefer the occasional spring roll from time to time.
Mexican Vampiro: (carrying a basket of guamuchiles) And guamuchiles, senor!
Manny: Yeah! That too. But apart from that, at least I have respect for both dietary types. I don't lambast meat eaters for their lifestyles any more than yelling at a lion for chewing a gazelle's bones.
Mexican Vampiro: And yet, they continue guilt tripping farming communities for "unrighteous slaughter". Do they ever ask the animals what their feelings are in the matter?
Shaolin Vampiro: We are all beings born in dirt and shall return in dirt. That is the one constant rule of life.
Manny: True dat! Now give me my dinner platter!
[Rasta gives Manny his usual platter: Tonkotsu ramen, ribeye tacos, guamuchiles, a slice of dragonfruit, and a bottle of rum, vanilla flavored. Manny proceeds to bite one taco while gulping the rum and afterwards proceeds to the guamuchiles and, along with the dragonfruit, chews them while slurping his ramen noodles. Rasta then gives him some birria tacos and broth and Manny eats both the birria and ribeye tacos while dipping them in the broth and eating it. He then finishes the meal with the vanilla rum.]
Manny: (chuckling) I'm weird!
[Night. Manny, drunk, walks into the house to find Frida taking out the monitoring patches, as if she's in a hurry.]
Manny: (drunk) Ey! What are you doing, chica?!
Frida: (sotto) I need to go back! My mother must be worried sick.
Manny: No, you don't! You need to be hydrated or you'll faint and end up somewhere bad.
Frida: (sotto) You don't understand. My mother might tell my father and he'll wreck your life hard!
Manny: You are not leaving and that's final!
Frida (sotto) Okay. I'll stay.
Manny: Good! And to make sure you'll stay, I'm hugging you and that's that!
Frida: (sotto) Why?
Manny: Because you are sexy!
Frida: (sotto) What?
[Manny hugs Frida and both sleep with Frida on top and Manny at the bottom. Numerous Vampiros guard the house until dawn approaches. Once the sunrise happens, Manny wakes up with a smile.]
Manny: Heh! I have a giant hangover. Huh? Guess I must have held onto her out of something.
[Suddenly, Manny spots one of the two souls he swallowed on the ground. He picks it up and the soul clings onto Frida. Manny is astonished.]
Manny: It must be hers. Either that or it's clinging for a body to enter.
[Manny picks up the soul and places it on Frida's mouth. Suddenly, the soul falls down her mouth and into her heart. Manny realizes that the orbs he kept were Frida's. Later, she wakes up wondering what happened.]
Frida: What happened? Where am I? And why are there things outside?
Manny: Hey!
Frida: (frightened) Who are you?
Manny: Don't be scared. I found you at a dumpster and brought you here to replenish your health.
Frida: (confused) I'm confused. Are you a doctor?
Manny: Civil engineer. But that's not the case. I need to ask: Was your soul removed recently?
Frida: Soul?
Manny: (breathes) Listen, you probably don't remember this but parts of you were taken and placed into other beings as an attempt to control you. I found one of your parts and I'm hoping to fix what the damage was.
Frida: You're not making any sense. What parts? What are you talking about!?
[Manny sighs as he kisses Frida on the lips. Frida, turning red, tries to pull Manny out her lips but instead swallows something and immediately memories flashback to vague events.]
Frida: (thinking) What is happening? Wait, what? There was a car crash? Who are you? Wait. Stop! STOP! THAT HURTS! (gasps in horror) I, I, I, I remember now. My name is Frida Suarez. I'm 15 years old. I'm the daughter of Evaristo and Carmelita Suarez. And I'm in desperate need of help.
Manny: From what?
Frida: Not what. Whom?
Manny: I don't follow.
Frida: Sergio. Butterman. My father. They have this thing. A flask that can turn people into monsters. And I have to marry that creep in order to make my father proud.
Manny: Oh! Wait! You said Butterman! You met Butterman! I need to know where and when!
Frida: And then you kissed me. Why did you kiss me?
Manny: Um? What about Butterman?
Frida: WHY DID YOU KISS ME!
Manny: How else was I supposed to transfer your soul? You were confused and at the heat of the moment, I locked lips!
Frida: Another thing, what do you mean by soul?
Manny: Somehow, your soul was robbed and infused into other people.
Frida: What people?
Manny: Some warden and her sister.
Frida: Delisa and Jessica?
Manny: Yeah! Are you related to them?
Frida: They're my sisters. Why do they have my soul?
Manny: How should I know? I asked them questions and they gave me no answers. In either case, Delisa demanded your soul back claiming it was hers. But her personality conflicted with the smell.
Frida: Smell?
Manny: All souls have a distinct odor, even mine's! Your soul smells like conchas, a type of Mexican pastry. Delisa's soul should have smelled like burnt charcoal. Jessica's soul would have had a lavender smell. My own soul, on the other hand, has a tepache infused al pastor smell. The point being, your soul was robbed and placed onto your sisters for reasons I'm not sure why.
Frida: What is tepache?
Manny: Pineapple beer.
Frida: What is al pastor?
Manny: Spicy pork with pineapple.
Frida: Why does your soul smell like pineapple?
Manny: You're missing the point!
Frida: Look, I'm just confused with all this information. My soul is stolen and bits of it were returned by you. Ugh! Why is my neck so itchy?
[Frida scratches her neck and Manny is aghast at the site of bite marks.]
Manny: DON'T SCRATCH! I need to see your neck!
Frida: Why?
Manny: Reasons! Now hold still!
[Manny examines Frida's neck and tries to see how deep it goes. Frida winches as Manny's claws sink into the bite marks and as the claws reach nerve endings Frida yelps in pain.]
Manny: Ok! This may come as a shock but during the night, I may have bit you by accident.
Frida: (surprised) Why!?
Manny: Might have had a dream involving food. In either case, you cannot leave!
Frida: How come?
Manny: Something involving changes. But if you leave, those changes might ruin what's left of your normal life.
Frida: That's still vague enough to make me leave in a hurry.
Manny: You cannot leave! And I will make sure of that!
[Suddenly, Manny faints as the MCPD arrive to arrest him. Astra and his squad arrive and carry Manny into a police van. After throwing him inside, the squad are met with Sergio and Police Chief Evaristo Suarez as Frida tries to stop the police van from moving.]
Frida: Wait! Stop! What changes will happen?
Evaristo: Frida! Silence!
Frida: (gulp) Papa.
Evaristo: You will speak when spoken to. Now apologize to your fiance for making him worried sick!
Frida: Ok, papa.
Sergio: Frida! I have waited for you since your trip to the banquet hall and you weren't there! Don't run off like that again! Otherwise, I might have to put a tracking chip inside you!
Evaristo: Even so, my stupid daughter might get lost again! Come Sinestro, we need to return to the family house! My wife is looking to punish you, stupid!
Frida: Yes, papa.
Evaristo: (upset) That's Police Captain to you, stupid!
[Frida enters the police car with Sergio in tow. Evaristo then starts the car and drives while Mansiones Miracales explodes. The Vampiros are tending with the villagers when they hear explosions running at the site and reacting to the police cars heading east. Django arrives as soon as he and Shadow Manny see the flames at the construction site.]
Django: Did Manny leave the stove on? I bet 200 pesos he did while high. 600 while drunk.
Shadow: 4000 says it was an accident.
Django: Deal! Better have a good excuse for this, dude.
End of Chapter 5