AN: Welcome back everyone. Though fall may have arrived, that doesn't mean we can't just not squeeze in some last-minute summer vibes with this chapter. As I stated in the author's notes for Why So Blue, Lapis happens to be my top Gem waifu in addition to my favorite character from the show. And as I implied in the author's notes for the previous chapter, I have a thing for lifeguard girls. I mean, can you blame me? Those red one pieces, man! But enough about my fantasies, I'm sure you're already weirded out enough, let's get this chapter rolling before I get anymore thirstier.
Synopsis: Lapis, Laz & Zuli run into some trouble at the pool while holding lifeguard tryouts.
Cast:
Jennifer Paz as Lapis, Laz, Zuli
Della Saba as Aquamarine
Auli'i Cravalho as Orange Spodumene
Martha Higerada as Topaz
Gal Gadot as Desert Glass
Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald
Kari Wahlgren as Pyrope
Steven Universe Alternate Future: Little Homeworld Life
Chapter 7: Wet and Wild
It was a warm day at the Little Homeworld swimming pool, and Lapis was already working hard. She was working on hanging up a colorful sign saying "NEW LIFEGUARDS WANTED" on it in blue. "Hopefully, we can get some new employees around here." Lapis said to herself as she finished hanging the sign. "We've been a little short-staffed lately."
"Are you sure about that?" Aquamarine asked as she fluttered down and perched on a fence post. "I mean, what's the point of this place having a pool anyways when we can all just sink to the bottom of the water with no ill effects? Besides, it was only ever staffed with you and the other Lapides, to begin with, so why are you only now concerning yourself with more employees?"
"Well, one, we came up with the idea because some of us wanted to have fun." Lapis responded. "Something I'm sure you never heard of because your idea of fun is at others' expense. And second, there's only so much three Lapises can do, so maybe we could use a few extra hands around here."
"Hmph, I'd like to see you try." Aquamarine scoffed arrogantly as she flew away, no doubt to convene with Black Rutile on whatever she had planned. Lapis just rolled her eyes and turned to see Aquamarine's former ally Laz walk up beside her with extra uniform swimsuits for the new recruits.
"Aquamarine giving you trouble again?" Laz asked her old friend with a sneer.
"I swear, how did you tolerate her back when you two were minions of Black Rutile?" Lapis responded to her fellow terraformer.
"I didn't tolerate anyone; I wasn't even in with Black Rutile's endgame to begin with." Laz replied. "Sure, I was pissed at Steven for taking you away from me, but all I wanted was getting my friends back, that was all."
"Well, you still got what you wanted, at least." Lapis stated with a shrug as Zuli touched down beside her. "Hey Zu, found any willing participants?"
"Oh yeah, I think I got five to start with, a full house!" Zuli exclaimed excitedly. "So many Gems want to work with us!"
"Geez, that many?" Laz wondered. "We might as well become the cast of a reboot of Coast Patrol."
"Wasn't there already one a few years ago with that one wrestler guy who's basically everywhere?" Lapis asked. "What did they call him again? The Stone? The Boulder?"
"Eh, who cares?" Zuli declared nonchalantly. "Let's just get changed and get our recruits situated."
Within a few minutes, the recruits that Zuli had found were gathered at the pool and dressed in matching red bathing suits, all standing in a line before the three Lapis Lazulis.
"Good day, troops." Laz greeted the five applicants like a drill sergeant. "You may be wondering why we've gathered you all here on this fine day."
"If it's to model these suits, then I make this look good." Desert Glass purred and conjured herself a mirror out of sand to admire her figure in the uniform. "Still got it, Glassy."
"Who wanted this?" Emerald sourly complained. "I mean, who wanted us to strut around barely-clad in a facility that we realistically won't need?"
"Ooh, I love this idea already!" Orange Spodumene excitedly cheered. "I hope I get picked; then I can be near the water all the time!"
"I see you're excited." Pyrope smirked at the Spodumene. "And how about you, Topaz?"
"As much as I'd like to help people, I also have to agree with Emerald on this." Topaz said. "I mean, Gems don't really need to swim. We can just sink to the bottom with no ill effects."
"No need to worry, Topaz. We just need a few extra hands around here." Zuli said to Topaz before turning back to Laz. "Now, as you were saying?"
"Thank you, Zuli." Laz responded before turning back to the five recruits. "As I was saying, we have gathered you today because our community pool needs some extra staff. Though some might think we won't need any because we don't even need to swim, we choose to remain resolute in our decisions out of a desire to do good for our community. Are any of you willing to do the same for us and benefit Little Homeworld at large?"
"I am." Topaz answered brightly. "So, where do we start?"
"We shall start with a few basic exercises." Lapis stated while gesturing to the pool. "Make it all the way to the end of the pool and back without walking across the bottom. Got it?"
"Ooh, this should be fun!" Orange Spodumene said as she readily dove in and began expertly swimming across the water. "Come on in, girls, the water's great!"
"Fine, if you insist." Emerald said as she reluctantly walked over to the ladder and slowly climbed into the pool water now surrounding her. "Hey, this isn't too bad!" she exclaimed while trying to swim towards the other side of the water, finding herself enjoying the exercise for a bit until her natural biology began winning against her. "No, no, no, no, no!"
"Well, that's one down for the count." Laz declared as Emerald struggled to keep herself afloat. "And Orange Spodumene is still in the lead!"
"Probably because her whole thing is going underwater." Zuli analyzed while watching the former deep-sea explorer doing some water ballet in the pool. "Let's see how the others are doing."
"Why are you barely doing anything?!" Pyrope complained to Desert Glass, who continued showing off in her swimsuit while reclining on an airbed made of sand.
"Just showing off my immaculate beauty to all the others." Desert Glass smirked seductively. "Plus, I don't want to sink to the bottom and be trapped in the crushing darkness for all eternity."
"You're only saying that because you're living the high life on your little throne." Pyrope scoffed. "Let me guess, do you want some fancy food to complete the look?"
"Come on Pyrope, calm down and get swimming." Topaz tried to calm Pyrope down as she tried swimming as well and fighting against gravity while the Lapises watched.
"So, what do you think?" Zuli asked her co-lifeguards. "Pretty great roster I selected, huh?"
"You're right about that." Laz nodded appreciatively. "They could use a little work, though, like Glass should do a lot less slacking off and looking hot, and Emerald should complain less too."
"But at least Orange Spodumene is excited." Zuli added. "Plus, I think I can see Pyrope and Topaz enjoying themselves too." She then pointed towards the two Gems, who were trying their best to stay afloat compared to the rest.
"Hey, I think I'm getting it now!" Topaz cheered while slowly bobbing up and down. "Pyrope, you gotta check me out!"
"I'm trying Topaz," Pyrope called. "I just need to keep myself from sinking!" As Pyrope finished, she almost became submerged before fluttering her way back up with her fans. "Blasted fans, they can only be so thin!"
"Well, we got swimming out of the way now." Lapis declared with a clap of her hands. "Now, let's move on to more lessons."
"Next, let's move onto basic safety precautions." Zuli stated once the recruits were done swimming. "First off, no running so fast that you either slip and fall or knock others over and get them hurt. Can't be too careful!"
"Oh sure, can't be too careful when we're basically invulnerable!" Emerald sarcastically proclaimed. "Here, allow me to demonstrate your folly!" She then did exactly that by running around the pool at top speeds, laughing all the way. "See? Nothing wrong here!" Unfortunately, Emerald was quickly proven wrong when she accidentally bumped into Topaz and splashed into the water next to her before sinking straight to the bottom. "Oh, come on!"
"See? We warned you!" Zuli called out as Emerald climbed back out and shook out her hair. "If any of you pull off what Emerald just did, you'll be sorry!"
"We understand." The other recruits obediently chorused.
"Anything else we need to know?" Pyrope wondered. "Like, I don't know, maybe some CPR?"
"Here's another tip." Lapis answered. "If you see anyone drowning, or in this case struggling to get above water, race to their aid immediately and give them proper help."
"Here's an example!" Zuli exclaimed before she conjured up a hand from the pool water to grab Laz and pull her in.
"Hey, what the heck?!" Laz yelled while thrashing about in the water. "What was that for?!"
"Just giving an example here, Laz!" Zuli responded. "You can get out now!"
"Watch out for the creepy background music, and be on the lookout for air bubbles too!" Orange Spodumene cried, causing all the other Gems to look at her like she grew a few more heads. "What?
"You know, you could've done literally anything else as an example, Zuli." Laz hissed as she flew back out. "You know what, I have an idea. What don't we make a little change of scenery for our next lesson?"
"Ooh, does that mean we're going to the beach next?!" Orange Spodumene asked cheerfully.
"Oh, you bet we are!" Lapis replied just as eagerly. "Come on, guys, just follow us!"
"Woo!" the excitable lifeguard in training cheered before following her three tutors, with the other recruits trailing behind.
"Well, at least, hopefully, things will start looking up." Emerald snarked as she strolled alongside Pyrope.
"That reminds me, dearest Emerald, why did you decide to take this occupation?" Pyrope asked the former commander.
"I just had not much better to do." Emerald answered her ex-fellow Rutile Rebel. "Why did you join yourself, if I may ask?"
"I'm just leading a more active lifestyle." Pyrope proclaimed before turning to the others. "How about the rest of you?"
"I feel like using my occupation for a more noble purpose." Topaz said.
"I'm sure you know about my deal." Desert Glass smirked pridefully while tugging at the red material clinging onto her hips with a seductive look in her eyes.
"Mine too!" Orange Spodumene exclaimed as the group got closer to their destination. "Hey, I think I can already see the beach!"
"About time!" Topaz agreed with the plucky explorer as Beach City awaited them all, including its namesake beaches.
A few minutes later, the lifeguard team situated itself on an open patch of sand to continue the Lapides' lesson, all while being watched and lusted after by the surrounding beachgoers.
"Man, are those blue girls sisters or something?" a man muttered to his two friends. "Dibs on the freckled one!"
"I like the curly-haired one." The second man agreed before turning to the third one. "How about you?"
"Guess that leaves me with the third one." The third man declared by process of elimination.
"Guys, we have leerers at 4:00." Emerald groaned in irritation at their admirers. "Seriously, don't you all have jobs?!"
"Before we get distracted, let's discuss the most important part of being a lifeguard out here." Lapis stated before pointing toward a child swimming in the ocean. "Always helping people in need in the ocean."
"For example, if someone yells that they're drowning, you gotta race to save them!" Zuli added. "Oldest cliché in the book!"
"Okay, but what if someone isn't really drowning and just wants attention?" Pyrope asked with a raise of her hand.
"Just don't give them the time of day." Laz answered crossly. "Another one of the oldest cliches in the book!"
"So when can we start rescuing?!" Orange Spodumene asked. "I'm sure there are tons of people out here that need help!"
"Okay, I think we've said enough." Lapis declared. "Go ahead and start helping. We'll be watching and monitoring your progress." And just like that, the five lifeguards in training went out across the beach to perform their duties, helping others and relaxing under the waning summer sun. Desert Glass kept turning heads in her uniform, Topaz tried to look out for anyone who could possibly be drowning, Pyrope decided to get a tan, Orange Spodumene excitedly frolicked in the water, and Emerald sulked with her eye rolled as she stood thigh-deep in the ocean currents.
Meanwhile, a certain blue midget was about to make herself known again. Aquamarine fluttered down from above and perched on Lapis's head, wearing her signature smug grin. "Well, looks like someone's determined to uphold the most useless job in the world for Gems to take." Aquamarine taunted the three Lazulis with a sneer. "Seriously, whose idea was it to even have a pool in the first place?!"
"It was Peridot's idea, thank you very much!" Lapis began arguing with Aquamarine. "But now that I think about it, maybe she wasn't thinking with her head with that."
"I guess my point's been proven." Aquamarine replied smugly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to do things that are far more important and actually have a point to them."
"Okay, that's it!" Laz snapped at the ex-elite Gem as she made an arm emerge from the ocean and clutch Aquamarine in its hand. "Hey guys, here's someone you can save!"
"Laz!" Lapis and Zuli yelled at Laz as Aquamarine was dragged into the rough waves, making her unable to fly out herself.
"I'll make you pay for this!" Aquamarine yelled as she struggled to stay afloat.
"FLY UP!" Laz yelled from afar.
"But the waves, they won't let me!" Aquamarine continued calling.
"I SAID FLY UP!" Laz commanded again, yet when Aquamarine refused, she just groaned loudly and prepared to leave, only for Lapis to grab her shoulder.
"You started this!" Lapis exclaimed. "Therefore, you should help us fix this! Get everyone together and send them to save her!"
"Well, if you say so." Laz said before blowing her whistle, signaling the trainees to stop what they were doing and immediately race to their mentors. "Girls, we got a new lesson for you! Take everything you learned today and fix what I had done by saving Aquamarine!"
"Wait, how did she get there?" Topaz asked.
"I got sick of her and wanted to use her as a teaching assistant," Laz replied. "whether she liked it or not. Now go, go, go!"
"Okay, girls, planning time!" Topaz declared in response. "Spodumene, I'll need you to take Emerald and me out to sea to find Aquamarine! Pyrope, stay here with Desert Glass to give her proper treatment once she's back on land!"
"You have my word, big girl!" Desert Glass saluted proudly.
"Good luck, you three." Pyrope bid farewell to Topaz, Emerald, and Orange Spodumene as they raced to rescue Aquamarine from going under.
"Wow, they're all working together remarkably quickly." Zuli smiled with pride. "Did they always have it in them, or is it just spur of the moment?"
"Probably spur of the moment." Laz answered as the three Gems made it out to sea.
"You know, maybe angering a Lapis Lazuli was a horrible idea!" Aquamarine sputtered as she felt herself about to sink beneath the waves. "Somebody, help me!"
"Don't worry, Aquamarine, we're coming!" Topaz exclaimed as Orange Spodumene helped her and Emerald reach her via a boat made from OS's transparent membrane. "Just take my hand!"
"Wait, you?!" Aquamarine yelled at the thought of Topaz, the Gem who had been forced to pledge loyalty to the little Gem only to turn her back on her the first chance she got when Era 3 began, only now wanting to help her yet again. "You know what? I'm perfectly fine at the bottom of the ocean. Besides, I can just walk it off."
"Do you want us to help you, or do you want to sink?!" Emerald barked. "Because I'm more than happy to leave you here!"
"Listen, we're lifeguards, we'll always be here to help you!" Orange Spodumene exclaimed. "Just get on board!"
"Fine, if it'll make everyone shut up!" Aquamarine relented, took her former minion's massive, yellow hand, and was pulled onto the sticky boat. "Eugh, this vessel is so gross as well."
"I made it from my body!" Orange Spodumene cheerfully declared, grossing Aquamarine out even more as the seafaring Gem piloted her boat back to shore.
"Oh good, you're alright!" Pyrope cried in delight as Aquamarine was returned to shore. "Quick, hand her to me and Glass, and we'll treat her right!"
"I can walk by myself, you know!" Aquamarine yelled as Desert Glass conjured up a chair to place Aquamarine on while Pyrope pulled out a towel to dry her off. "Okay, I'm alive. What do you want me to say now?"
"I believe what you're trying to say is thank you." Lapis said to Aquamarine.
"Thank you?" Aquamarine asked quizzically.
"You're welcome." Laz scoffed. "Come on, don't we deserve a little credit for saving you?"
"Giving thanks to the enemy?! Well, I'd never!" Aquamarine yelled defiantly, but one look at Topaz's smile made her cave in just a little. "Okay, maybe Topaz deserves my respect for her leadership skills." She declared reluctantly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, screw you guys; I'm going home!"
"She's right. You all deserve congrats for your teamwork today!" Lapis agreed with Aquamarine as the three head lifeguards applauded their trainees. "I think you might just be ready for the big leagues now!"
"Woohoo!" Topaz cried excitedly.
"Oh my stars, we all made it!" Orange Spodumene exclaimed, all smiles and excitement.
"Well, it looks like we did it." Emerald declared with a proud smirk.
"Good for all of you." Pyrope agreed.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Desert Glass asked. "When do we start?"
A few days later, the five Gems were fully sworn in as lifeguards at the Little Homeworld pool, each rotating every hour with their superiors. Lapis would take the first shift; Topaz got the second shift, the third went to Zuli, the fourth to Laz, the fifth to Emerald, the sixth to Desert Glass, the seventh to Pyrope, and the final shift went to Orange Spodumene.
"Guess my time is up." Lapis said as she began flying away from the lifeguard chair. "You're up, Topaz!"
"Thanks, Lapis!" Topaz replied as she climbed onto her own chair, built specifically to fit her size. But as Topaz happily performed her duties, Aquamarine watched from a distance, perched upon Black Rutile's shoulder as the two spied on Topaz before turning to each other.
"You ever wanted another Topaz on your side?" Aquamarine asked her master with an evil smile.
Well, this chapter ran a little short. Then again, my footnotes were kind of barebones as well, but I think I did my best with what I got! Hopefully next chapter will give me more to work with, and by God, will it! Next chapter will have us focusing on Teal Zircon again, so there's bound to be tons of fun there. See you next week!