GRIMMFALL: CHIBI
Episode 12
"And this is our cul-de-sac." Double D gestured, having volunteered to give the visitors from Remnant a tour of Peach Creek.
"Pretty homey." Ruby commented.
"Anything you guys do for fun?"Qrow asked, taking out his flask.
Double D flinched as Ruby and Yang's uncle took a sip from it. "Must you? You're in a neighborhood with children."
"Hey, so as long as they can't reach it, I'm okay." Qrow shrugged, putting his flask away.
The group stopped in front of the other kids that were playing a game who then noticed the newcomers.
"Hey, who are these guys?" Nazz asked.
"Visitors from an alien planet." Eddy answered simply.
"Like Canada?" Jonny 2/4 asked, rubbing his head.
"Jonny, I keep telling you Canada is up north, not an alien planet." Double D sighed.
Rolf noticed something in particular about the newcomers and walked right up to them, specifically Jaune and Qrow.
Jaune took a step back. "Uh…Can we help you-"
"Rolf sees that you are as spineless as a jelly fish and sea cucumber lushes hair newcomer." Rolf commented.
Jaune blinked. "You think my hair is-"
Rolf turned to Qrow. "And Rolf sees you are addicted to foul liquid of failure."
"It's not foul." Qrow argued but took out his flask and took sniff of it. "…Okay it smells bad but that's about it."
"You both wish to have better confidence and be free of evil liquid yes?" Rolf asked, causing everyone to stare in confusion.
Jaune and Qrow looked at each other and then Jaune answered. "Well, I wouldn't mind some more confidence-"
"Perfect!" Rolf said happily. "Come to Rolf's home in one hour."
With that he turned and walked past the rest of the group. "You shall not be disappointed."
Everyone just stared at him as he walked away.
"Rolf's weird, huh Plank?" Jonny just asked.
Xxx
The Remnant newcomers came up to the door of Rolf's house and knocked on it three times. For a few seconds there was silence and then the door opened to reveal a smiling Rolf.
"Umm, hello Rolf. We're here because of-"
"Rolf remembers!" Rolf said as he picked up Jaune and Qrow by the shoulders and brought them inside as the rest followed along.
Jaune gave a confused look as he said. "Umm... Can I ask what you're planning on do-"
"You must be silent for the process to continue!" Rolf interrupted.
"I am so excited!" Nora said bouncing up and down as she walked.
"I'm scared." Ren simply said.
"Come, my Lilly livered friends, we must begin. Please, marinate in the lard." Rolf as he put Jaune and Qrow in a barrel full of lard. "Don't go away now!"
"Seriously?" Qrow groaned, seeing all his clothes covered in lard.
"I wish I can be in Jaune's position!" Nora said excited.
"You want to bathe in lard?" Blake asked as Rolf walked over to the group.
"Move!" Rolf signaled for them to move forward.
He walked over to and opens a drawer. "Rolf requires your assistance!"
"Red headed Nora, massage the squid. Mulan pretty-boy Ren, grate the turnip. And Hair Shining so Bright Yang, Crush the Dust into dust." Rolf handed Nora the squid, Ren the turnip and a grater and handed Yang multiple different Dust crystals.
All three of them stared at each other in confusion.
"Today Rolf will be showing you how to prepare Carbuncle of the Flesh Stew. Though it can also be used to increase one's charisma and cure addiction to foul drinks as well!" Rolf said as he pulled out a Churning from out of nowhere and placed it on a hot coal pit that appeared out of nowhere with everyone staring in confusion.
Rolf walked over to the fridge and pulled out a fish head. "An ancestral recipe handed down through many pimply-faced elders. Yet, Rolf has added a few new ingredients with Dust."
Rolf walked over as he drops the fish head in and sees Ren grating the turnip over the Churning with Yang crushing the Dust in her hands over the Churning.
But Rolf saw no sight of the squid anywhere. "Where is the squid?"
"Right here, Rolf!" Nora said as she spun it at the top of her fingers to massage it.
"Stop!" Rolf yelled and Nora dropped the squid. "Fool." Rolf sighed as he picked the squid back up and put it in the Churning.
"Thank you. Now we add one softened squid and stir. Careful not to bruise the fish entrails! Good, yes? Last we add the Pickled Towel of Mirth and let simmer for 14 days and 14 nights." Rolf said as he pulled out a jar with a towel soaking in a liquid as he pulls it out and dropped it in the Churning.
"What?! 14 days?!" Jaune asked outraged.
"I ain't sitting in here for 14 days!" Qrow shouted.
"Do not fester, as Rolf has thought ahead, and pre-made this stuff." Rolf, said pushing the first Churning aside and brought in the pre-made stuff.
Everyone just stared on as Nora gave a round of applause.
"Are you ready for the anointment of the stew, Jaune-boy and He Who Smells Like Failure Qrow?" Rolf standing over Jaune and Qrow with the towel in his hands.
"Umm... I think so." Jaune answered.
"Whatever." Qrow rolled his eyes.
Rolf stood over him silent for another second.
"Okey-dokey! Be very still." Rolf said with a smile as he placed the towel over Jaune's head. Rolf stood there in silence for another few seconds until...
"AWAY WITH YOU, WEAKNESS OF MEN!" Rolf yelled as he kicked the barrel Jaune and Qrow in straight out the window to everyone's surprise.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
CRASH!
They both collided with the ground and the barrel they were in shattered. Both picked themselves back up with the towel still over their faces as they tried to look around and asked. "What happened?"
But suddenly Rolf shoved a wooden box over Qrow and Jaune's head as Rolf opened up the lid. "Silence! We must be quick!"
Rolf pulls out a chicken from nowhere and shoved it in the box and slams it shut, agitating and scaring the fowl into attacking Qrow and Jaune's heads.
"HEY WHAT THE-!? AHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! WHY A CHICKEN!? OW! HE'S PECKING ME! WHAT THE DUST!? AAAHHHHH! SWEET MONTY! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Those were some of the words that Jaune and Qrow screamed out while the chicken was viciously attacking them as they both stumbled around aimlessly.
The rest of the newcomers stared on in shock and confusion, except for Nora who looked excited.
"WOW! Jaune is so lucky! Do you guys think a chicken could peck at my head?" Nora asked Ren before Rolf suddenly shoves them away.
"Goodbye, as you may not see your friends for another hour. Rolf waits now." As the group walked away, Rolf took off his pants and went over to a stump.
He pulled out a pocketknife and began carving at the wood.
One Hour later...
Rolf had carved the stump into a shoe as NR and RWBY returned.
"Rolf, we're here to pick up Jaune and Uncle Qrow." Ruby said but Rolf looked at them all puzzled.
"Jaune? Remember? You helped Jaune with his confidence problem?" Ren clarified with Nora getting excited in the background.
"And our uncle with his alcohol problem." Ruby added.
"Oh, sure!" Rolf quickly put on his pants. "Follow Rolf."
Rolf led the group over to a tree where Qrow and Jaune's head were submerged in the soil. Ruby couldn't help but giggle at the humorous sight.
Rolf grabbed ahold of their legs and started to pull. "You shall see the miracle of the stew."
"Tell me what happens guys." Weiss said, covering her eyes in fear.
"Hey guys, what's going on?" RWBY and NR turned over to see Ed, Edd 'n Eddy standing there.
"Oh, hi guys!" Nora waved.
"What's going on?" Ed asked with his dopy smile.
"Rolf is helping Jaune out with a confidence problem and our uncle with his alcohol problem." Ruby answered.
"Wait, how exactly was he 'Helping out'?" Double D asked, using his hands as quotations.
"He put them in lard, put a rag into a Churner with a bunch of weird ingredients in there, then put the rag over their faces, kicked them out a window, and put a box on their heads locking a chicken inside." Ren answered and the Ed's realized what was going to be the end result.
"You have changed much, Jaune-boy and Stinky Qrow. Now you shall feel no fear or need for stinky liquid." Rolf said as he pulled out a mirror and showed it to Jaune and Qrow.
In the mirror, both Jaune and Qrow looked normal. However, once it is lowered.
Everyone present is frozen for what seemed like an eternity, until Yang exploded with laughter, clutching her stomach with tears in her eyes. "BAHAAAA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!"
Blake is covering her mouth to prevent herself from laughing uncontrollably, but everyone could hear a snigger escape through her palm. Ren chuckled behind his hand, Nora practically fell over and Ruby was in stitches. All the while Eddy's traumatizing memories of having his head shrunken was rushing back to him while Double D just remembered he never got the recipe from Rolf and Ed looked on with a huge smile on his face.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR HEADS!?" Jaune and Qrow both yelled in a high pitched voice with their heads being red and tiny.
"It's so tiny!" Nora and Ed said in unison.
"By Oum! that is the FUNNIEST thing I have EVER seen in my life! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yang laughed so hard.
"I can't believe I forgot to ask Rolf how he did this!" Double D pulled out a notepad and pencil.
"Oh yes, it would normally take 24 hours for the stuff to take effect but thanks to Dust it sped up the effects." Rolf nodded.
"That makes sense." Said Ruby.
"WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO TO US YOU QUACK!?" Jaune yelled at Rolf.
"Quack? But I am Rolf!" Rolf said, not understanding the two.
"YOU BIG STUPID QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!" Everyone was still laughing, and the fact that Qrow kept saying 'Quack' over and over in a duck-like voice REALLY didn't help.
"I am not a duck! I am Rolf!" Rolf said frustrated before Double D and Ruby walked up to him.
"How did you know what ingredients would react in such a way as to come to this conclusion? With the introduction of Dust no doubt." Double D asked.
"Yeah Rolf! I'd really like to know too!" Ruby leaned her head forward.
"What?" Rolf asked, backing off.
"Our turns for shrinkage, Rolf!" Nora said as she and Ed walked up to him.
"Fix us!" Jaune and Qrow yelled.
"Tell us!" Ruby and Double D said.
"Shrink us!" Nora and Ed said.
"Stay back!" Rolf yelled as he started to run away.
"Get him!" Qrow yelled as he, Jaune, Ruby, Nora, Ed, and Double D all started to chase Rolf around the Courtyard. "Wait till I get my hands on you! Fix our heads, you quack!"
"He's strong!" Nora laughed as they all continued to chase Rolf with Weiss, Blake, and Ren just standing there and watching while Yang was still on the floor, trying to pull herself together.