She was sleeping right? She was just having a horrible nightmare, just a familiar horrible nightmare. In reality she was not laying on the floor of the Agrest's mansion, arms and legs at awkward painful angles, a thick flow of warm liquid seeping through her civilian clothes. She definitely couldn't hear the deep, painful howl of a wounded animal coming from two headache-inducing pillars of light a few feet away. And she most certainly did not see her kitty's civilian body, limp and lifeless protruding from a violent hole in the wall. Just like every other time, she had been too late to save her partner.
She knew she was dreaming, because this dream was just as familiar to her as waking up in her room everyday. For years this dream was just as common as breathing, so common and real that she sometimes thought the real dream began once she woke up. She wondered if this was her actual life, here laying on this cold floor, and her dreams would start after she lost consciousness due to blood loss. Which would be any second now. She could feel the familiar cold creep up her spine and settle in the room as the pillars of light got impossibly brighter. She began the countdown as the light expanded, filling the room and blinding her of everything but two silhouettes in the center. Three...two...one.
"Mari...please …wake up" Marinette's conscience woke up to her kwami's gentle little paw tapping on her cheek. "It's over, you're safe." She said in a soft voice as she wiped away stray tears and flew up to run her little paw across Marinette's forehead. She hated seeing her wielder sad and broken every morning but there was just nothing she could do. At least now Marinette didn't scream anymore, just silently cried. Still hearing no response the kwami floated back closer to the girls eyes and saddened at what she saw.
"Yeah Tikki. Thank you for waking me." She said in a dead voice, no high pitches or dips to her once cheery tone. Marinette's eyes were finally open, but they lacked spark. Her eyes stared at nothing and everything at the same time, not bothering to focus on anything because what was the point of looking for detail when this was a dream? Tikki could never get used to it, but as luck would have it this had become their routine. It took no more then a few seconds for Mari to come back from her thoughts and focus on reality. As soon as Tikki noticed the slight constrict of her dulled out bluebell eyes she breath a sigh of relief. Some mornings Mari took longer then others, but not today. Tikki gave Marinette an inviting smile and Mari returned it.
She reached out and petted Tikki carefull not to hurt her friend. While still laying down she stretched her whole body and gave out a groan when she reached that bridge between relief and a cramp. She sat up, rubbed her face and wiped her eyes. I need to stop clenching my teeth in my sleep, she thought as she massaged her sore jaw and cheekbones. She began getting ready, the aftermath of her nightmares never truly leaving her, just moving to the back of her mind for the day.
She decided on a comfortable pair of worn-out skinny jeans and a red loose fitting long sleeve shirt. She applied a small amount of blush on her sharpened cheeks to give them some color since it looked like blood hadn't made it to her face yet. As for her long hair, she decided to leave it down for today. 'Maybe I should get a haircut.' She thought. Lately it had gotten a little overwhelming, the brushing, washing and styling….maybe a shorter length would be more manageable.
Marinette went downstairs to be greeted by freshly baked raisin bread and tea. Her lively parents were eating while standing around the kitchen fully awake and energized. To the early birds this was lunch time, but to her it was still too early. Marinette smiled at the image of both her parents sitting at the table planning the lesson for that week's baking class.
"Why don't you go with something easier, honey? I know you're excited but they're just kids." Her mom suggested with concerned eyes and a silk voice. Always the voice of reason, and with good reason given the ball of chaotic energy she married.
"Kids with talent my love, they learn almost as fast as our own little...MaRi! " her dad's thundering voice resonated in her early morning ears as soon as he spotted his little girl. He greeted her with a huge toothy smile, his childlike joy just beaming out of him making the already bright room even brighter.
"Morning papa." She greeted as she sat right next to him and kissed his cheek. She leaned her head on his bicep looking to absorb some of that bright happiness he resonated with.
"What do you think kiddo? What should today's lesson be?" He gestured to his lesson choices written on cutout uneven notebook paper. She silently scanned through them and now understood her mom's concern for his choices. They were all for at least intermediate level baker's, not for beginners, especially not for children looking to just play with flour.
"Pain au chocolat was always fun to make," she offered.
"Pain au chocolate it is then!" He said and he crossed his arms in a decisive way.
"Oh yay that sounds delicious!" Exclaimed Tikki as she came out from behind Marinette's hair. Always appearing at the mention of sweets. Unlike a certain feline who only appeared during lunch spreads.
"Good morning Tikki, would you care for some breakfast?" Sabine greeted the mini god of creation with both tenderness and respect.
It had been a couple of years ago that her secret was found and identity revealed. After Hawkmoth, she had mental breakdowns that she couldn't talk about with her parents. It had been hard on all of them when Marinette would scream during the night and wake up in cold sweat, neither knowing what was wrong with their baby girl or how to help her. Marinette had been so broken that keeping her identity a secret was too hard and on many occasions wished to tell them, to be selfish and have them help her carry some of the pain. One particular night she had bit her lip so hard in her sleep it started to bleed Tikki decided enough was enough. She had rushed downstairs, woken Sabine and Tom and begged them to help Marinette. After having a very uncomfortable talk with her parents, Sabine mentioned she had secretly known. Her dad on the other hand took a few days to process the reveal, and all of his restraint and willpower to not wrap his baby girl in a cocoon of bubble wrap.
"I've made some eggs and fruit salad. Sweets for every meal are not very nutritious." Said Sabine as she set down a smaller plate the family had dubbed as Tikki's plate.
"This looks amazing Mrs. Dupain-Cheng. " said the god of creation as she joined Marinette's mom in the kitchen both falling into a comfortable routine. It still amazed Marinette just how natural her mother was around the kwamis. Her mom, sensing Marinette's eyes on them, looked up and caught her daughter's eyes. With just one look she welcomed her over to eat.
It didn't take them long to finish their breakfast and right after, Sabine presented them both with a cookie.
A buzzing on her phone made her reach into her pocket.
'Just landed. Gotta drop stuff off, will see you tonight?'
She smiled, sent back a quick message along with a picture of a floating cookie she knew only the recipient would understand before shoving her phone back in her pocket and heading upstairs to change and get ready for the day.
Marinette sat at the counter, sleep slowly creeping up on her. She could feel her brows relax and with them her eye lids. Even when she was in school falling asleep in class was normal for her, bags under her eyes were nothing new, just now more defined. She shook her head, stood up and stretched her stiff back.
"Better do some work before maman catches me sleeping on the job again, huh Tikki?"
"Mm-hm. I agree, your mom can be scary at times."
Said Tikki recalling the time Sabine lectured their flying feline companion after he'd eaten the whole lunch spread in one bite.
Marinette raised her interlocked hands as high as she could, taking into account how stiff her body had gotten throughout the years. She walked around the bakery taking inventory of any breads that needed to be refilled before lunch rush. Their bakery had gotten very popular and some days they struggled to keep up with demands, especially during times of custom orders. Marinette's dad had been thinking of hiring more help but his love for his bakery made him stubborn and adamant it be family only run.
She also took a moment to assess the corner of her personal merchandise. Her parents had given her a small corner of the bakery with a window to showcase her clothes. After she graduated school she had no energy or will to begin a career in fashion and settled with taking small seamstress jobs. Of course that was not what her parents wanted for her so one day they presented her with 'Marinette's Corner'. Her parents really did love her, they loved her so much it hurt sometimes.
She leveled some of the hanging frames that decorated each strip of wall on both sides of the window. Each one contained pictures of her friends modeling her works with smiles on their faces. She smiled at one in particular, one where Alix was forced to wear the younger child sized clothes.
She hadn't made any new pieces recently due to lack of inspiration, not that it really mattered since her corner hadn't had much sales lately so what was the point in creating more. She patted down the dress she had done last and reshuffled the accessory hats and gloves that laid on a small round table. She trailed over a very small pair of light blue gloves, gripping the feather soft fabric between two fingers and lingering there for a while. She could feel her throat grow dry and heavy like swallowing was impossible. Little by little she started to zone out and get lost in her thoughts. Her fist moved up towards her stomach where it balled up the fabric of her apron, at the moment the only thing tethering her to reality.
A sudden ring of the entry door broke her train of thought. She shook her head, flexed her now white fist, blinked until she could feel her pupils refocus and turned to greet the guest. Just as she expected, the mini guest stood by the door and breathed in a big gulp of the bakery air.
"Bonjour August. Punctual as always." She greeted. He was always the first to arrive, always happy and ready to learn. She smiled and walked up to him, the boy's smile was always so contagious.
"Marinnette! " greeted the eight year old, bright emerald eyes full of excitement. He was one of the first kids to sign up for her dad's classes back when he first started them.
Slowly everyone else started to trickle in until only two were missing. Marinette moved back to the register and continued her work as she waited with anticipation. A few minutes later a chorus of giggles signaled their arrival.
"Alright y'all two please don't cause too much trouble" said a very familiar voice. Marinette got up from the floor where she had recently dropped a roll of coins to see Ella and Etta being dropped off by Alya.
"We won't, we promise" they said in unison and ran past Marinette with a quick 'Hi'.
"You ready to go Marinette?" Said her friend.
In less than a second Marinette tackled her friend into a hug and got ready to leave.
Alya had moved to New York and taken a job as a journalist for one of the biggest superhero magazines in America. Her and Nino had gotten a small apartment but it wasn't like any of them even existed there with how busy their schedules were. The life of a musician took Nino on tour most of the year and Alya's job meant she went where the leads and gossip took her. It had been almost eight months since she last saw her, she was glad to have something back in her life. They video chatted every week but her visits were few and far between.
Marinette could feel Alya's eyes on her. "I don't know how its possible girl, but you get more beautiful every time I see you. The computer screen doesn't do you justice." The journalist said.
"Alyaaa" Marinette blushed. She knew she was just trying to boost her up. She was aware she wasn't the 'stunning beauty' her friend called her. Her hair was flat and dull and she had bags under her eyes.
"I'm serious, you probably have half, No! more than half of Paris secretly in love with civilian you. I'd say between you and your alter ego all of Paris is drooling over you. "
"Sureee, because who could resist all this" Marinette said sarcastically as she gestured to herself, while Alya choose to ignore her as she continued
"Which makes me wonder…" said Alya with a both pondering and mischievous look.
" Alyaaa" she groaned. It was always the same comment, she loved her friend but hated how stubborn and pushy she could be.
"But Mari, i mean c'mon, i know you told me not to push but i just want to see my friend happy."
"I am happy." Marinette said, her tone not so convincing. She looked up at her friend, summoned all the joy she could and tried again. "I am happy, Alya. I have a family who supports me, a bestfriend who looks out for me and a brother who adores me. Why would I not be happy."
"You forgot a lover who worships you?! I know things with Adrien didn't workout but there's so many other guys out there that would absolutely love a chance to get to know you." Alya informed her. If the journalist recalled correctly, Marinette did have all the boys in their old classes crazy over her.
"We don't all need that kind of love, I'm perfectly fine with as you said "a lack of dick" in my life?"
"Okay then how about we find you a pair of round boo…" Marinette jumped up to cover the girls mouth with both hands, a huge blush on her face.
"I don't need that either!" Alya pushed her off and couldn't help the laugh that emerged from the look on her friend.
The sun had just gone down as they arrived back at the bakery after their BFF date. Before they entered Alya took Mari by the hand and looked at her friend with all the care and love she could offer. "Marinette, don't forget I'm here for you."
"Thank You Alya." Marinette knew her friend meant well and not wanting to worry her longer, gave her a smile.
They opened the door and stepped into the bakery, where an unpleasant but familiar smell greeted them.
"Oh no, not AGAIN!" Alya groaned as she ran to the back of the bakery gathered her sisters both covered in flour and chocolate with a slight scent of burned hair coming from both of them.
"I'm surprised y'all two are even allowed back in here! Mr. Tom, if i was you, I'd put up a sign."
"Oooh it's no big deal, Marinette does the same at least once a week."
Now it was Marinette's turn to groan as everyone else laughed.
After dinner Marinette hadn't received the awaited 'I'm here' text yet so decided to spend a few more minutes with her parents while waiting. Her maman always served them a cup of tea accompanied by some type of sweet after dinner and today was no exception. She set a tray and two cups in front of them, grabbed her cup and sat back into the sofa to enjoy. Tikki had no self control when it came to sweets and rushed to the tray. Marinette wasn't too interested in the pile of chocolate croissants, to busy listening for a notification.
"Marinette, you have to try these, they're so good!" She completely ignored her kwami, her mind counting the seconds, wondering what was taking him so long.
"Huh? Sorry Tikki i was lost in thought. "
"What's wrong with my little Mei Zhen?" Asked Sabine as she set her cup down on her lap.
"Nothing maman, just thinking about a new design for winter." She lied. Her mom stared at her, at how her leg kept bouncing in place, how she was scratching the edges of her fingernails and how she was biting the inside of her cheek. She didn't have the key to her daughter's peace but she would never let her worry on her own. She reached for the tray of sweets, down a few thanks to Tikki, and lifted it up to Mari.
" Have some. They taste good." She pleaded, offering the tray of pan au chocolate. "At least it'll stop you from eating yourself."
Marinette sighed and grabbed one."How did class go?" She asked before taking a bite.
"Other than the twins almost burning down the bakery again, it was fun. Tiring like it always is, but your father loves it." She looked over at her daughter who was reaching over to grab two more deserts of the tray and stuff them in her mouth. "Told you they were good." She said with a grin.
"Who made these? They're so good!" Marinette asked around a month full.
"Right!?" Agreed Tikki.
"It was actually the new student your dad took in."
"I thought he said he couldn't handle any more students right now." She looked over at her maman now curious and wondering if she missed a new face today.
"Your father doesn't have the heart to turn down a child. He always loved children and was always the happiest when teaching you to bake." Marinette could feel the heavy implication that comment was putting into the universe. Marinettes body went cold as she hugged her stomach were a painful ache surfaced but not from the buttery pastries. Sabine got up from the sofa and took the now empty tray to the sink. She continued her story as she tidied up the kitchen."But this new student wasn't a child. She came last week and has been coming every day to ask your dad to teach her. She really begged your father for lessons and even offered to pay double when he explained that it was just for children. And you know your father, he's a gentle giant" she said that last sentence with such love in her tone. She made a second cup of tea and returned to sit by her daughter.
Before Marinette could ask more about the new student her phone vibrated.
"Will you be seeing him today?" Sabine asked.
"Yeah." Answered Marinette while putting on her sweater.
"Give him our love and tell him to come over for dinner soon, I'm sure he lost weight again."
"Yes maman, I will."
"Remember to take your keys, not that you need them." She said with a small grin as she sipped her tea.
"Funny." Said Marinette as she Wrapped her scarf and closed the door to start the short walk towards the park.
A lot had changed in the past couple of years. Hawkmoth had been defeated, friends moved countries, families were started and careers were found. The world kept moving, but she stayed behind, behind to one night in specific. The battle, which still haunts her dreams, had not gone the way her and Chat had always planned. After an appearance from Hawkmoth, both heroes had followed him into his lair which had been the Agreste Mansion. If she could go back in time, she would not have gone in, she would have made a better plan and brought reinforcements. She would have done a better job as a hero and guardian, and she would have protected her kitty.
Her kitty who now stood a few more steps away leaning against a tree with a raggedy baby blue scarf wrapped around his neck. His hair was a mess of blond locks, longer now then when they were children. In one hand he hugged a paper bag while the other gripped loosely onto his cane.
"Hi Kitty." Marinette sighed once she stood at arms length in front of him. How she had missed him.
"My lady." Adrien grinned. His eyes going from dull to a shinning green as soon as they landed on her. He pulled away from the tree and made his way to her. She didn't let him get far and in seconds threw herself to him to close the space. She hugged him across the torso careful not to hurt or unbalance him. His chin rested on top of her head while hers rested on his chest right by his heart. Once she let go a red little head peeked out of Marinette's sweater and smiled up at Adrien. She offered up a shiny ring which he happily took. As soon as he placed it on his finger the little god of destruction appeared screaming.
"Adriiien! Your back! Finally!" Cried Plagg. He hugged Adrien's face and nuzzled his smaller face into his wielder's stubbly cheek.
"Hi plagg, it's good to see you." Said Adrien in a comforting tone while cupping the little feline to his cheek tighter.
"Why did you take so long!? It was horrible Adrien! I want my own place back! And she doesn't even have good quality cheese!" He complained to his wielder.
"Well I'm sorry i can't pay a whole month's salary on a smelly cheese you'll eat in literally one gulp." Stated Marinette.
"You just don't have an appreciation for the artisan art that is cheese making!" Both guardian and kwami stuck out tongues to each other.
"Here Plagg." Adrien reached into the paper bag and pulled out a well wrapped circle, an exotic cheese for his kwami. He offered it to the mini god who took it and flew in twirls around him, ecstatic with his present.
"Have I ever told you you are the best Chat Noir I've ever had?" He then continued to throw it in the air and swallowed it in one gulp, giving a huge burp right after.
"See what I mean!" Exclaimed Marinette. Both Plagg and Adrien laughed like only two boys could at bad table manners
After their giggles died down, Marinette looked at her two boys and noticed Adrien was getting a little tired by the way he kept reshuffling his weight and gripping his cane.
"You want to sit down?"
"No, let's take a stroll instead." He offered out his hand and she took it. Once he took the first step she linked their elbows, to feel closer to him and to help carry some of his weight on her.
"How was Egypt?" She started.
"Hot, dry, no ounce of milk for a lonely kitten." He paused for his corny pun, and although he didn't hear a laugh he saw the slight signs of a smile. " It was great My Lady. "
"Oh c'mon you travel all around the world and that's all you say when you come back?" She gave him a gentle smack on the chest. "What did you see, what did you eat, who did you meet? What did you learn?" For a few years he had been traveling the world taking pictures and writing for his blog. 'I want to see, with my own eyes, what my mother once did, and experience all the things she never got a chance to' was what he had told her on the night he renounced his ring. Marinette had been devastated and furious but when he returned, looking alive and with purpose, she realized he had found himself. And she was happy for him, happy her kitty was healing and moving forward in life.
"Okay okay you're right…hmm…well i saw the famous Egyptian pyramids, not much to say but a pile of sand really, nothing compared to the Eiffel Tower. I heard a rumor about a magic sword and figured I'd give the challenge a try. Met up with Francisco, unfortunately he wasn't able to guide me this time but he recommended a really good adventurer. Her name is Violet. " They continued their stroll, slow and steady, with Marinette not so subtly guiding them towards a bench. On his trips he used a pair of bionic braces that helped stabilize him, but right now he wasn't wearing them and she could feel how little by little he was leaning more of his weight on her and the cane.
"Oh do you have pictures?" She asked. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, rummaging through what might have been hundreds of pictures until settling on one and offering it to Marinette. The girl in the picture was a beauty. Perfectly tanned, had big hazel eyes and dark curly locks pulled back in a loose ponytail, and what stood out the most was that she was TALL. She towered over Adrian even if he was standing up straight. Right next to her in a sort of choke hold was Adrien, cheeks and face pinched between her bosom and her biceps, a huge smile on his face.
Once just the mention of another girl would have made her jealous and caused her to form one of her Marinette plans to separate the two, now it just made her happy he was meeting people and living life.
"Shes tall, and strong, whoa. You always did have a thing for strong women." She smirked at him.
"I mean what kind of respectable man wouldn't want a woman who could bench press him?" They both laughed, and finally reaching the bench both sat and leaned their heads back to look at the stars.
"Why wasn't Francisco able to go this time, from your stories he sounds like he lives for the thrill of jumping into ravines and caves? Is he okay?" She asked as she closed her eyes to enjoy his presence.
"He is." He answered and then started to dig in his paper bag once more. He pulled out something and she could hear him gobble it down just like Plagg had. She smiled at his antics even if she couldn't see them.
"You want one?" He offered.
"No Thank you, whatever you got in there probably reeks of Camembert."
He sat back with another bite of his mystery meal and started talking again around a mouthful.
"He's fine, he got married and is a dad now. I dropped in to see them for a few days. He apologized over and over the morning I left, but I was just happy to know my friend was putting his family first...I'm proud of him. "
She placed a hand softly on her stomach, a slight cramp forming deep within her. She sighed and opened her eyes. She could hear Chat still talking but couldn't focus on the words. She hugged his arm tighter and leaned her head on his shoulder, trying to enjoy the warmth shared between for a bit before she spoke again. Sensing the shift in his Lady, he stopped talking and looked down towards her. He noticed her hand and grabbed it in an attempt to encourage her to take some weight of HER shoulders.
"Adrian?" She began.
"Yes Marinette?"
"Are you happy?" A long pause followed her question before he answered.
"You always ask that. Of course I'm happy Mari." He kissed the top of her head and raised their linked hands to place a kiss on the back of hers. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he continued talking. "Yes there's things I wish were different."
She leaned in closer to him almost as if trying to hide.
"But for now I'm grateful, I'm alive. You're alive, Paris is safe. The world is safe." He leaned his head to rest on top of Marinettes and closed his eyes to wait for a response from his Lady. But with a jump that scared even Marinette, suddenly opened his eyes and looked down at her, eyes huge and alarmed. "...right?! Or did Alix come visit?!"
"No. She didn't." She whispered. Truth is she wished sometimes that she did. That she would come and tell her to redo that day, to stop and think and plan and save everyone.
Happy with the answer but not with the tone, Adrien took both of Marinette's hands in his and looked her in the eyes.
"Are YOU happy?" He asked.
She avoided his gaze and looked at the trees behind him, she knew as soon as she looked into green eyes she would break down. "I just wish things were different, I wish I was different."
"Oh because being an ex heroine is so common at your age."
"I don't know how to explain it"
"I do. I was there too, My Lady." She looked up at him with teary eyes and waited. He blinked hard and refocused on Marinette. "I wish I wouldn't have lost my composure that day, that I would have kept my cool and protected y'all both, but I was just a boy, a kid and so were you."
His words were helping. She nodded and blinked away her tears. He was right.
"Yes, I sometimes wish my father wasn't an evil villain, that I had gone to school like a normal kid, met the love of my life, had three beautiful kids, a hamster, a home and not witnessed my mother die twice. But sadly that's not what life granted me. Instead it gave me Simon, Nathalie, friends and most importantly you. Sure the thought of kissing you now makes me barf " that last comment was rewarded by a weak punch to his arm.
"Heeyy!" She scolded him with hints of a smile, which made Him smile, happy he could be of help to her.
"Buuut, it doesn't change the love i have for you."
" Thank you Adrien."
"Anytime bugaboo."
—
That night the moon shined brighter than it had in a couple of months, but Marinette went to bed feeling the same way she felt every night. She was scared to close her eyes and dream, she never had good dreams and no amount of good luck charms Tikki offered her chased away the muddy feeling crawling up her throat threatening to suffocate her. Her eyes, like every night, began to blur with useless tears. Familiar with the routine she prepared herself for the sob she knew was to come by burying her face in her pillow. And like every night she cried herself to sleep with Tikki gently hugging her head.
A familiar scene played before her eyes. Chaos all around her small pieces of soot falling down mimicking snow. The pain in her lower abdomen had been dulled from the amount of times this scene had played in her nightmares.
She reached a hand across the ground down towards her wound, cupped her lower side where she could feel the hot pain and warm liquid pooling there. She dragged herself farther and farther to reach Chat's body but no matter how much she tried she wasn't getting anywhere. She screamed and screamed for her kitty, for her best friend and partner to wake up until she felt her throat dry and sharp but Chat wouldn't react. Half of his torso could be seen hanging out the hole in the wall, head hanging down hiding his bloody face. She could see a pool of blood slowly gathering on the ground from a steady drip. She wanted to look away but kept her eyes on him looking for any small sign he was still breathing. She wanted to go back to sleep, to wake up in her dreams again and forget this nightmare. She counted and counted and counted... Until she cracked. With one last scream she opened her eyes.
Like always she felt the familiar sting in her eyes and gentle taps of her kwami. Sun was seeping through her windows on another beautiful day. So again, why did the day feel so cold and fake.