A/N: This chapter was fun to write, it's mostly some light-hearted scenes and a lot of smut before the final chapter and the epilogue :D
19th September 1980
James could see the flecks of amber in her chocolate eyes. The way her nose turned up slightly at the end when she scrunched it at a passage she didn't agree with. She'd been chewing on her lower lip again too, it was red and plumper than usual. He leant against the doorjamb and watched her read one of her birthday books for a long moment, admiring her. He couldn't begin to articulate how good it was to see her so relaxed. It had been a long time since she'd had a chance to just read and not think.
He crossed the room to join her, settling on the sofa beside her. She looked up at him, a large smile spreading across her face, lighting her eyes up. "Hey, I wondered where you'd been."
He shrugged, distracted when she licked her lips, "Around, just cleaning up after dinner." She narrowed her eyes, and pursed her lips, clearly suspicious that he was being so helpful without an ulterior motive. His eyes flicked from her eyes to her lips and back to her eyes again before he leant in. She instantly accepted the affection, kissing him back with the same fervour he had as he took her lips.
James wondered why he'd been puttering around downstairs when his girlfriend was up here, lips unkissed for hours.
He'd woken her that morning by enthusiastically eating her out until she'd come once on his tongue and then again with his fingers sliding into her slick heat. She'd still been trembling and panting when he'd stood briefly to summon the breakfast in bed he'd put together for her. When she'd offered to return the favour he'd just shook his head and insisted that this was her birthday present and he didn't need anything more.
He wasn't sure why he'd left it so long to seek her out this evening to make good on everything he'd whispered into her ear in the small toilet of the restaurant they'd met their friends in for her birthday lunch. With his long fingers buried deep in her quim, he'd pressed Hermione against the door, her hands scrabbling for purchase as he drove her to new heights. He'd made filthy promises about just how he was going to fuck her when they made it home, only a quick locking charm and his free hand pressed against her mouth as a barrier to anyone finding them.
Hermione tasted like home, her chapped, full lips pliable beneath his own. He reached up to cup her jaw, stroking the soft skin of her cheek with his calloused thumb. James twisted himself to face her fully, wanting to be nearer. Hooking his hands behind her knees, he lifted her into his arms as he stood from the sofa, and then laid her out on the plush rug in front of the roaring fireplace in their library.
Hermione made a delightful squeal as he pinned her beneath him.
He spread her thighs around him and leaned over her, savouring the sensation of her soft curves beneath his firm body. He ran his hands up her arms, lifting them above her head and clasping both her wrists in one hand. The other traced patterns on her skin beneath her top. Nipping and sucking, he trailed his lips from her mouth up to her ear and down her slender neck.
"Fuck," Hermione gasped when his hand slipped under her top and bra. He smirked into her skin in triumph, he'd always loved just how responsive she was to his touch. She arched into his touch as he caressed her firm breast, teasing her nipple into a taut peak.
His mouth continued to blaze a trail over her supple skin. He was dizzy with lust as the scent of her perfume filled his nostrils. James shoved her top up to her neck, exposing her body to his gaze. He didn't pause when his eyes landed on the forever angry scar that bisected her torso.
As he'd done ever since she'd shown it to him, he leaned down and kissed his way down every inch of the purple flames, erasing every bit of the pain he could with his lips. He paused to tease her belly button piercing with his tongue, looking up at her face as he did. She was flushed a delicious shade of pink and her eyes were dark with lust.
When their eyes met James felt a surge of fierce love for this woman fill his body.
In the blink of an eye, he had one hand sliding under her back and the other gripping her thick thigh. Keeping her legs firmly around his waist, he spun them so he was beneath her, pulling her into his lap. She squeaked at the sudden change of position, and looked at him with the same impressed look she did every time he was able to lift her weight. He just smirked – he'd never told her just how hard he'd worked at Quidditch to grow his strength to be able to throw her around like she weighed nothing and he was that green monster she'd shown him in that Muggle TV show.
He groaned as she brushed against his rapidly hardening cock. In a swift movement, James tugged her top over her head to get a better look at her, quickly throwing her bra to parts unknown so he could cup her bare breasts in his large hands. Her heavy-lidded eyes watched him as he touched her, her hips twitching into his and drawing out groans every time she rolled down into him.
"Shit," Hermione moaned, shivering beneath his touch.
He slid one hand up from her breasts to curl through her thick hair, pulling her down so he could capture her lips once more. He didn't stay still for long, once again moving his mouth down her neck and over her collarbone, nuzzling at her silky skin as she writhed in his lap. Her hands wound into his messy locks, tugging and guiding him where she wanted him to go. When he moved his lips to her hardened nipple she rocked her hips wantonly against him. His hips bucked in response as Hermione grazed over the erection straining in his Muggle jeans. A cry fell, unbidden, from his lips when she ground down harder.
"Merlin," She whimpered when she felt him through both their jeans.
James chuckled, "Nope, just me," but the sound quickly turned into a loud moan when she ground down again. He could feel her heat through the fabric, and he moaned. He reached between them to start to unbuckle her jeans, but she flicked her wrist and he felt the cool night air that blew in through the open windows hit the skin below his waist.
He looked up at her in surprise, "Did you just vanish my bloody favourite jeans?" He grumbled.
"Call it payback for my favourite bra." She smirked down at him. Abruptly, he felt her soft fingers wrap around his erection and position him at her entrance. "Do you really care?" James could feel the slick heat of her against the head of his cock as she teased it against her slit.
"Merlin, no." He groaned, tilting his head back, his hands clenching where they were holding the meat of her thighs as she sunk down onto him with a high-pitched whimper of his name.
Her warm, wet heat enveloped him and he could swear he saw stars. He looked up at her as she lost herself in ecstasy. Her eyes closed as she moved on top of him, rolling her hips. Her tight pussy fit him like a glove every time, and he knew he'd never get tired of the feeling. James traced nonsense shapes on the skin of her soft belly, pausing to pet the sleeping otter on her hip, before sliding his hands up to run his thumb over her taut nipples again.
Her body moved with graceful ease as she set a steady pace that he matched with thrusts of his own. He was enraptured and watched in awe as beads of sweat rolled between her breasts. Without losing their rhythm, he sat up and kissed her passionately. His calloused fingers continued drawing patterns, following the line of her curved spine. Hermione twitched under every brush of his hand.
Every clench of her thighs around his hips, every gasp that fell from her lips was thrilling. Her hands clasped his shoulders, nails biting crescents into the skin as she bounced on him. Not willing to lose all control to her, he gripped her hips firmly, rolling so she was pressed beneath him once again, his cock still buried in her.
"Oh, shit, James!" She cried out, her head rolling back on the plush rug in rapture.
Her curls spread around her in a halo, the firelight made her skin glow golden, and highlighted the fiery strands in her hair until she was wrapped in Gryffindor red and gold. James suddenly had a burning desire to be able to draw – she looked like one of those beautiful women in those Muggle paintings she'd taken him to see at some gallery in London. His knees dug into the ground and he knew they'd have to be digging out the healing salve later for the scrapes both of them would receive having sex on the floor.
For now, he couldn't find it in him to care.
He held her wrists above her head in one hand again while the other grasped behind her thigh, opening her up to him. James pistoned in and out of her tight channel at an unrelenting pace. Their sweat-soaked skin slapped furiously together as he moved his hips against hers. He gloried at the sight of her, stretched out below him, body tight with delight.
She wailed in pure bliss, urging him on. Her heels dug into his flesh, pulling him deeper. The delicious friction between them built as she met him thrust for thrust. Her body arched into every assault on her senses as he licked, touched, bit, sucked at any part of her that he could reach. His hands held her firm as she bucked and jerked against the restraint, eager to touch him.
"Fuck, yes. Oh, shit," Hermione repeated breathlessly as she climbed closer to her rapture.
James moved one hand to just above where their bodies joined and flicked at her clit. At his touch, she lost what little control she had, her movements becoming erratic. All too soon, he could feel her walls clamping down around him, sending him over the edge with her.
xxx
21st September 1980
"We– fuck– should– oh shit– get ready," Hermione panted. After a day out shopping with Alice, Lily, and their small children, she had headed for the bathroom to freshen up for her late birthday dinner with her family. She was already running behind when James followed her in not two minutes later, already half naked.
Despite her protests she hadn't done anything to stop him when he'd pinned her to the shower wall, shampoo potion still in her hair, and filled her with his cock.
"They can wait," He growled, hips snapping forward. James adjusted his grip on her arse as her legs wrapped tighter around his waist, pulling him deeper. "I've missed you all day. Been thinking about this."
Hermione couldn't help but agree that she was happy to be late as long as kept doing what he was doing to her body. The way he filled her so completely was addictive and she wished they could spend the night locked in their room together. But they had things to do. People to– Fuck. She loved it when he did that with his tongue.
"Shit," She gasped.
He chuckled, nibbling and sucking his way over her collarbone, "Stay with me. I could practically hear you bloody thinking. Let go, love."
Hermione clasped his shoulders tighter, trying to stay balanced with the one leg she still had in the shower tray. She was only on her tiptoes though, he was too tall for her to get any proper purchase, especially with every ground-shaking, unbalancing thrust.
Every time he sunk himself inside her, she became more lost in sensation. The way his large hands grasped her arse so hard Hermione was sure she would have fingerprints left behind – which was a common occurrence with them. The way their water slicked skin created delicious friction. The way the bathroom tiles were cold against her back. She slipped one hand up the back of his neck, tugging at his messy hair as he laved kisses across her flesh.
The angle that he was pounding into her made exquisite ecstasy course through her. It didn't take her long to give in to the waves of satisfaction that washed over her. James soon followed when she clenched up around him, spilling his seed within her. He took a moment to regain his breath before lowering her to the ground on shaky legs. He kissed her soundly and took a step back.
The smirk on his lips made her blush, something she had mostly gotten over with him a while ago. James chuckled but didn't say a word, simply rinsing himself clean before stepping out of the shower, allowing her to finish.
xxx
"I can't believe you made us so late." Hermione scolded, hurrying up the driveway of her childhood home. There was an issue with the floo at Potter Manor currently so they'd had to apparate outside of the wards and walk in.
"I didn't hear you complaining earlier, love." James chuckled, stepping closer to wrap his arm around her waist, pinching her arse quickly as he went.
"James!" Hermione squeaked, looking quickly up at the house to make sure no one could've seen.
He just grinned unrepentantly, "Come on, love. We're already late." He danced away from her swatting hand, strolling cheerfully up to the front door ahead of her.
Hermione growled, but followed after him, rolling her eyes at his expected audacity when he just pushed open the front door and strutted into the house like it was his own.
"Prewetts, Weasleys! We are here!" He called into the house. Hermione rolled her eyes, closing the front door behind them, and hanging her travelling cloak up on the hook.
"James! Bring your cloak here." James took his cloak off and levitated it over to her with a grin.
"Missy Hermione! You is here!" Twinky appeared before them both, a large grin on her small face. "Master and the rest of the family bes waiting in the dining room." Twinky embraced Hermione happily when she crouched down to wrap the house-elf in a hug. She then sent James a stern look as though she knew he was the reason they were late, and popped away with a final decisive bob of her head.
"I'm worried about her." Hermione stared at the place she'd disappeared for a long moment, and swallowed past her suddenly thick throat. "She's been overworking herself since mum died."
James stepped close and wrapped her in a hug. He didn't say anything, knowing it wasn't what Hermione needed right now and useless platitudes would be just that – useless. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and closed his eyes, willing himself not to think of his own parents right now.
The sombre moment was interrupted by shrieks of joy and two small bodies hurling themselves into their legs. Hermione pulled back and looked down at the giggling twins, firmly in their terrible twos now.
"Well, hello, troublemakers."
"Aun' Minnie!" Fred, already recognisable to Hermione – who had always been able to tell them apart – if no one else, held his arms out to her, "Up!" He demanded imperiously.
Hermione smiled and lifted him up and into her arms, ignoring James' snickering at the moniker – one the Marauders had used for their old Head of House for most of their schooling (to her displeasure).
George pouted, and his lip wobbled, "Me!" He shouted, looking like he was about to burst into tears.
"James." She hissed, angling her head at George. James reached for George who examined him critically and then nodded and lifted his arms to be picked up once he judged James appropriate. It was Hermione's turn to snicker at the slightly shocked look on James' face.
"Well, at least one set of twins in your family likes me." He muttered, shifting George on his hip as they walked towards the dining room, trying to keep the young mischief maker from grabbing his glasses straight from his nose like he was trying to.
"Now, did you two run away from your parents?" Hermione asked as she followed James into the dining room, which was filled with a slightly more subdued merriment than normal – two people conspicuously absent.
"No!" Fred shouted, shaking his small head vigorously, his hair a bright ginger blur.
"Yes, they did. You know you're supposed to stay in your seats young men." Molly scolded. She was sitting at the end of the table, Ron clasped to her chest as he nursed.
"Give 'em here." Fabian held his arms out and James passed a happy George into his uncle's arms, Gideon snatched a giggling Fred out of Hermione's arms. He'd somehow managed to sneak up on her from behind.
"Take one of the others." He said with a wink, gesturing to Bill, Charlie, and Percy. Percy was the only one sitting waiting patiently for food. Bill and Charlie had their heads bowed close together, Bill's already long and Charlie's short cropped hair mingling together, the two shades of red mixing and clashing. Hermione smiled fondly.
"Hi Aunt 'Mione." Percy said, speaking slowly to carefully enunciate his words properly.
"Hi, Percy, love." Hermione squeezed James' hand, leaving him to take the seat next to her customary seat – beside Fabian. She passed her dad on the way 'round the table to greet her nephews and niece properly. "Hi, dad." She leant over and hugged him tightly, stubbornly blinking back the tears that rose in her eyes when he pressed a kiss to her forehead and squeezed her tight.
"Hi, love. Happy birthday darling." Geraint brushed a curl back behind her ear, his eyes – the same shade as hers – sparkled with tears. The look he bestowed upon her was heart-wrenching; proud, sad, and so loving. "Your mother would be so proud of everything you've done." He whispered, smiling a little mournfully. Hermione frowned, and glanced down the table to see if anyone was paying attention – they weren't. "Go on, go see those little Weasleys. They're much too noisy in my twilight years." He winked when she turned to look at him incredulously.
"You're far from your twilight years, dad." She scolded. He wasn't even into his seventies yet. Magicfolk had a longer lifespan than Muggles. He was barely going grey.
"Darling." Geraint frowned. "I loved your mother more than anything except my children and grandchildren. I must admit I have no idea how to go on without her much longer."
"Dad–"
"Hermione, love. I'm not saying I'm giving up, or that I'll die soon." Geraint patted her hand gently, "But heartbreak has been known to take down stronger men than me. I'm just pre-warning you."
"Well, stop." Hermione snapped, fuelled more by terror and sadness than anger. "You're not dying while I'm around to stop you." She said firmly.
Geraint chuckled quietly, "Well, that I can believe. Go see the terrors over there," He nodded towards Bill and Charlie who Arthur had separated by sitting between them, though it honestly didn't seem to be doing much to stop the two oldest Weasleys from sharing conspiring looks. "Charlie said she wanted to speak to you when you arrived."
"This isn't over." Hermione narrowed her eyes at him, but obeyed and continued making her way around the table.
"I would expect no less."
Hermione gave Percy a large hug when he jumped down from the table, abandoning the good behaviour to run up to her now she was close. She lifted him into her arms and cuddled him close, making a jokey oof sound as she adjusted him, "Wow, little Percy, when did you get so big, huh?"
"'m not big aunt 'Mione!"
"You're so big, Percy! The biggest little four year old I've ever seen! You're practically a grown-up now." Hermione ruffled his neat light red hair, laughing when he looked indignant. She let his happiness wash away the horror her father's words had dropped her in.
"Nooo! Silly! I small!" Percy protested, wriggling in her arms until she put him down.
She laughed again, "Of course, sorry, Percy. You're still small." Percy nodded firmly, and clambered up into his seat again. Hermione smirked, exchanging a look with James across the table. He looked like he was barely holding in his laughter.
"Hi 'Mione. Happy birthday!" Bill looked away from his conspiratorial whispering with Charlie across the oblivious Arthur – he was too focused on fondly watching Molly with their youngest.
"Hi Bill, Charlie." She smiled at the two oldest Weasleys.
"Happy birthday!" Charlie piped up, her voice squeaky with excitement. Hermione hugged them both, noting that Charlie's hug seemed slightly desperate, and she clung when Hermione went to pull away.
Hermione dropped to a crouch next to Charlie's chair, "Your grandfather said you wanted to talk to me?" She asked quietly, dropping her voice so hardly anyone else would be able to hear. Charlie nodded eagerly, looking nervous. "Okay. Let's eat this lovely meal Twinky has made for us, and then we'll find somewhere private?"
"Yeah." Charlie whispered, hugging Hermione tightly again. Hermione rose back to her feet, and quickly hugged Arthur and Molly hello on her way back to her seat.
Dinner was a lively affair, though the empty seat between Gideon and Geraint where Iphemia had always sat, and the one on the other side of Fabian that had become Marlene's over the last few years were glaringly empty. Marvellous food was eaten, gifts were presented to Hermione, and secrets Charlie had been carrying were revealed to Hermione.
By the time she and James got home hours later, she was exhausted by the day and ready for bed.
xxx
1st October 1980
"Well, Regulus? What do you have to say for yourself?" Walburga's voice was sharp and harsh. Her silvery eyes were narrowed, black brows furrowed. Regulus couldn't remember a time he hadn't seen her as she looked now – ever the picture of the severe pure-blood socialite. Her long black curls were twisted up into a fancy chignon, held back from her face and emphasising her sharp cheekbones and jawline. "We gave you everything. Made you the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and this is how you repay–"
Regulus hid his flinch, continuing to eat the meal Kreacher had prepared for them and letting his mother do what she did best – rant and rave. As always, Orion was silent, letting his wife scream insults at their children.
"–given you every opportunity. He allowed you into his inner circle, to cleanse this world of the filthy blood traitors, Mudbloods, Muggles, and half-breeds and you threw it all away." Walburga picked up her wine glass and threw it across the table. Red wine splashed all over the pristine white cloth, and the ornate glass smashed into smithereens against the wall behind Regulus when he hastily ducked out of the way. Walburga's lips pursed into a sharp moue and her brow furrowed ever further. "Kreacher! Clean this mess up!" She screeched, ignoring the house-elf's blubbering apologies as he cleaned up. "You have betrayed every single thing this family stands for!"
"Walburga." Orion's voice – calm and deep – cut across her high-pitched yelling easily. "Let us finish our supper in peace."
"Orion!"
"We will discuss Regulus' punishment for his disobedience after." Orion's own grey eyes were hard and cold when he cut them over to look at Regulus.
xxx
Orion's grip on Regulus' arm was tight and painful as he dragged him upstairs to his office, and he wanted nothing more than to wrench away from his father, but he couldn't without injuring himself further.
Regulus had come home at his parent's request, a polite, if cool, letter sent to him. It had arrived last night, flying through the window of the Potter's drawing room in the talons of his parent's eagle owl. He'd been staying with Hermione and Potter – there was no room for him at Sirius' – since the end of the war with the Dark Lord, assuming he would be unwelcome back at Grimmauld Place. The letter had invited him to come home so they could discuss his future, saying he was welcome back to stay.
He'd foolishly believed it.
He'd not told Sirius, Hermione, or his brother's friends that he was coming back. He'd left that morning, and Apparated home. At first his parents had been like normal, false praise and cool greetings, there was no indication of their true anger with him until they'd sat down for supper that evening.
"Sit." Orion said sternly, shoving Regulus into the seat in front of his desk. "We have much to discuss." They'd left Walburga downstairs and Regulus could hear her ranting in the drawing room, no doubt burning him from the tapestry. The gesture was empty, just as it had been for Sirius. The only one who could actually disown either of them was the current Head of House – their grandfather Arcturus.
"Father–"
"You will be quiet, Regulus." Orion sat in his own plush seat on the other side of his desk, folding his hands calmly in front of himself. Walburga's shouting and screaming, and frequent throwing of things or casual hexes and curses were what they'd grown up on whenever he or Sirius had done something worth punishment (in her opinion). Their father had only ever gotten involved when they did something truly worth punishment, and his cool, collected voice and harsh reprimands had always been so much more terrifying than Walburga's hot temper. "You have disgraced the House of Black. We entrusted the heirship to you and you have thrown it away."
Regulus swallowed nervously, shifting in his seat and trying to hide it from his father.
"You swore your allegiance, our family's allegiance, to the Dark Lord, and then you had the audacity to betray it. With that Prewett girl no less, her and all her blood traitor, Mudblood, half-breed friends." Orion scowled, his handsome brow furrowed over his eyes. "If we were able, we would disown you immediately."
Regulus scoffed, finding his courage from somewhere and speaking up, "No you wouldn't. You may have kicked Sirius out, but you didn't even disown him. You won't disown me either. Grandfather would have already if he wanted to."
"How dare–" Orion rose from his seat, his voice swelling to a shout.
"Kick me out, go on. I don't care. I don't need your brand of prejudice and hate." Regulus stood too. He was glad he hadn't brought anything with him, having left his possessions at Potter Manor where they'd been for a while now. "I don't need you. Or mother. But you need me and Sirius. To carry on the 'legacy', the name. So say what you want but you won't disown us." Regulus' voice was scathing, and he revelled in the scandalised look on his father's face, and the opportunity to finally say how he was feeling. "Farewell, father. I hope I never see you again."
Regulus spun on his heel, and stormed down the stairs and out of the front door before Orion could gather himself together enough to follow him, or Walburga could see him and attack like she had with Sirius when she'd kicked him out.
xxx
16th October 1980
"Why did you have to plan the meal here exactly?" Hermione demanded, arms crossed over her chest as she stared at the Black brothers standing sheepishly in the Entrance Hall.
"Because it's a lot nicer than Sirius' flat, and I've been kicked out from our parents' place for my part in defeating Voldemort?"
"So it was the only available place?" When they both nodded Hermione sighed, "and you didn't think to ask first? I'd expect that of you, Sirius, but not Regulus."
"Oh thanks, Kitten." Sirius retorted sarcastically. Regulus smirked but didn't say anything. "I told James." Sirius defended himself.
Hermione raised an eyebrow and turned to her boyfriend who was just coming down the stairs, looking sheepish too. "Why didn't you tell me?" She demanded of him.
"Sorry. I forgot."
"Oh, for Merlin's sake." Hermione grabbed his wrist and pulled him past the Black brothers to the door. "Well, I'm not sticking around to watch the fallout when they realise you've invited them both. Let's go have dinner with dad and the twins. They're staying there until they can buy somewhere Marlene didn't live with them."
James chuckled and threw a conciliatory "Good luck" over his shoulders at the brothers as Hermione pulled him out the door.
"Why are we doing this again?" Regulus asked Sirius later as they took a break in the kitchen from the tense atmosphere at the dining table. They were about to have dessert (graciously cooked by an eager Twinky when they asked her) and Andromeda had yet to acknowledge anything that Narcissa tried to say to her.
"'Cause as much of a pain as it was at the time, I'm grateful Hermione made us talk and get over our differences." Regulus raised an eyebrow, still unused to ever hearing Sirius being earnest or serious. "So, we should give Cissy and 'Dromeda the chance to have that too."
Regulus huffed, "Yea. Now all we need is Andy to actually put some effort in."
Sirius sighed, "Go send her in here. I'll talk to her and you talk to Cissy. We'll have them talking by the end of dessert."
"It'll take longer than one meal, Sirius." Regulus pointed out.
"Maybe we should ask them something that'll get them both trying to educate us on something. You know how much they both liked doing that when we were younger."
Regulus snorted and conceded the point – Sirius wasn't wrong. "Fine. I'll send Andy in here, and then come up with something stupid to ask when you both come back in."
True to his word Regulus split his focus between talking to Cissy about how to reconcile with her older sister and coming up with something to ask. When Andromeda and Sirius re-entered the Potter's dining room the former looked mildly chastised and somewhat ready to actually interact with her sister.
Regulus spoke up when the dessert was laid before them all, and a mildly awkward silence had fallen – though it was nowhere near as bad as the previous two courses where a frosty silence had emanated from Andromeda. "You know; it's incredibly odd."
"What is Regulus?" Andromeda asked, deigning to speak to someone other than Sirius for the first time.
"Sirius and I know so little about our parents." Regulus shrugged elegantly, meeting eyes with Sirius across the table who sent him an incredulous look at the chosen subject matter. He'd thought they were going to try to steer away from their family, not crash straight into it. "Such as mother, what was her maiden name?"
Andromeda raised an eyebrow, "Did you never look at the family tree? It was Black."
Sirius shook his head, "No, 'Dromeda, her maiden name."
Narcissa sighed condescendingly, and the sisters shared a commiserating look that Sirius would've been proud of achieving if he wasn't so busy being confused, "Black."
Sirius leant back in his seat, as if trying to get away from what the two women were saying, "Wait… you're not saying…"
"Uncle Orion and aunt Walburga are second cousins." Andromeda raised her eyebrows at the shell-shocked looks on the brother's faces.
"Eww."
Regulus' face paled, "What? You're lying."
Narcissa snorted inelegantly, tossing her sheet of long blonde hair back over her shoulder, "Oh, don't act so scandalised. It is not at all uncommon for prominent families to keep the bloodlines close." She waved her hand vaguely as though she wasn't talking about incest. "Did you not notice that grandad Pollux has the last name Black? Just like Arcturus does?" She and Andromeda shared an incredulous look over the apparent cluelessness of Sirius and Regulus. Neither man noticed, both too caught up in the information that had just been thrown at them.
"Keeping the bloodlines close…" Regulus looked a little queasy, and Sirius leant away from him a little.
"Is that honestly what we're calling it?" Sirius pulled a disgusted face, raising a dark eyebrow at Narcissa when she scoffed.
"Well, what else would you call it?"
Sirius grimaced and fell back on snark so shocked at the sudden revelation as he was, "Oh, I don't know. How about, 'I've got an extra set of toes'?"
Andromeda followed her sister's example and scoffed too, "No one has any extra toes."
"I have a double-jointed thumb." Sirius said defensively, holding said thumb out and demonstrating.
"Remarkable." Andromeda raised an eyebrow and sent a significant look at Regulus who was looking slightly green around the gills, "Use it to help me settle your brother, please. He looks like he might be sick."
Sirius was too caught up in his incredulity to pay attention to Andromeda offering Regulus some camomile tea (somehow she'd found it in the Potter's kitchen).
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand how everyone was okay with this!?" Sirius practically shrieked, sending Narcissa a pleading look as though she would tell him it was just some elaborate prank. "I mean, what? Did they just go, 'What a cute couple. They look so much alike'?!" He grinned briefly, "Hah! Cissy, just like you and Lucy." Narcissa sent him a scathing look, before focusing her attention away from him and back on her dessert.
"So… mother and father have the same great-grandfather?" Regulus still looked a little nauseous, but didn't seem to be on the brink of throwing up anymore.
"Phineas Nigellus as a matter of fact." Narcissa was being much too matter of fact about this in Sirius' opinion, but he supposed Regulus' plan had done what was intended and gotten the sisters talking again.
Andromeda reached over and patted Regulus' hand, "Try not to think about it."
A/N: some of that scene with Andromeda and Narcissa was taken from a tumblr post I saw years ago and saved.
Charlie's story will be elaborated on in my fic Clean which I will post when I've finished writing it.