CW: self harm, slight torture, reference to death of a child
Chapter 12
Clint woke just before dawn.
Quietly he rolled over to check on Wanda. She was asleep, laying on her stomach with her arms spread eagle. She'd kicked all of the blankets off, but the room was warm enough. Her cheek was smashed into the pillow, her mouth slightly open. She looked young.
He turned his gaze back to the ceiling. The things he'd seen inside her head had been horrific. He'd had several nightmares about it. Sometimes it was Wanda and Pietro under the bed and sometimes it was Lila and Cooper and Nate. He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat.
He'd been keeping it together for the most part, but he felt frayed. He needed to get home. He needed to see his kids and Laura.
In the early days on the Raft, Ross had tried all sorts of tricks to get information about Rogers and Barnes. The most tempting offer had been to change his imprisonment to house arrest. He would be lying if he said he hadn't considered it. He was well versed in the fine art of giving just enough information to appear cooperative without actually jeopardizing anyone. But in the end he couldn't leave Wanda. Not when they kept taking her and bringing her back more battered and broken.
Now he wondered if that was still an offer on the table. Maybe if he agreed to turn himself in, Ross would be willing to negotiate. Wanda was out. She was safe. And he'd make damn well sure that Rogers and Barnes kept it that way. Still, he felt a strong wave of guilt at the thought of leaving her. He knew it would hurt her and honestly, it would hurt him too. She was a daughter to him, and he hated that he couldn't just bring her back to the farm and have his entire family under one roof. But if he could make sure that Wanda was safe and taken care of, he'd gladly surrender his freedom if it meant he could be home.
With a sigh and a grunt, he got to his feet and went in search of Nat.
"You stood in a cold shower?!" Steve repeated, gaping at James.
James rubbed his eyes. "Steve." He growled.
They were standing outside the palace watching the sunrise after their daily run. James wasn't sure why they had to run at a truly ungodly time of day, but Steve liked to run at dawn and joining felt a little bit like penance.
"C'mon, Buck. I think this is a really big thing!" Steve argued, his face alight with the kind of hope that made James feel queasy. "You haven't been able to take even lukewarm showers. But you got in a cold shower and didn't have an episode!"
He paused, a serious look slowly overtaking his previously happy expression. "Although you really shouldn't have taken that risk with Wanda."
James glared at him. Steve, are you seriously just now realizing how dangerous and stupid it was?
"I know, pal. That's why I told you. You're supposed to yell at me."
Steve looked at him like he'd just suggested the man kick a puppy.
"You want me to yell at you?"
James blew out a frustrated breath. Not even the wake-up-at-the-asscrack-of-dawn run had helped with his agitation. He'd spent most of the night lying awake in his bed replaying the entire interaction with Wanda. It had been so fucking stupid to get in a cold shower with her. Steve had tried getting him in a cold shower during a panic attack shortly after Siberia, and he'd ripped half the plumbing out of the wall and given Steve a concussion. His body remembered the cold bite of cryo and the icy blast of water from the hose as a punishment. If he'd had a similar flashback, he could have seriously injured her, or worse.
Shuri had been uncharacteristically anxious when she'd entered his room and told him Wanda needed help. Seeing Wanda huddled in the corner hyperventilating had made everything else go still and quiet, his mind focused in a singular way that felt almost like the Soldier. Except instead of someone else's orders for violence and death, the only parameters he had were in his own voice: PROTECT.
"I want you to keep Wanda safe." He finally said tightly. "Even from me."
"Bucky." Steve sounded sad.
"You looked in a mirror lately, champ?"
"Buck." Steve was glowering now, but even in the dim early morning light, the bruises were still visible on his face.
"I don't want to hurt you." James shrugged, barely keeping the guilt and shame at bay. "But I keep doing it. It'd be pretty reckless to assume Wanda would be different."
Steve paused and James could almost see the gears turning in his head. His heart rate increased slightly as he waited.
"She is different though, isn't she?"
James kept his gaze on the beautiful view and focused on breathing evenly.
"I dunno." He said in a low voice. "She's the only good memory I've got from seventy years as the Soldier."
Steve's hand rested on his non-metal shoulder and gently squeezed.
"Guess that would stand out, huh."
They stood that way for several breaths until the hairs on the back of James' neck stood up. He spun, knocking Steve's hand from his shoulder and stepping protectively in front of his friend.
"Please be at ease." T'Challa said, a slight smile crossing his face.
"Your highness." Steve said steadily as James straightened from where he had dropped into a fighting stance. Several paces behind the King, the Dora Milaje also relaxed back into formation. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"
T'Challa's expression grew grave. "It brings me no pleasure to tell you this news, my friend. I am afraid that soon Wakanda will no longer be able to offer you peaceful sanctuary."
Wanda sat cross legged on her bed and listened to everyone else argue. She didn't fully understand why they had to leave Wakanda. Something about vibranium and stolen artifacts. When Steve had told them what was going on, the roaring in her head had drowned out half of what he'd said.
Natasha was arguing that they should split up. Steve was adamantly against that idea.
"Steve, staying together is going to attract attention. The odds that someone recognizes us are so much higher." Nat was standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed.
"She's right." Clint said from where he was sitting beside Wanda. He sounded tired.
"We're stronger together." Steve argued, his chin jutting out stubbornly. "We can do this covertly, together."
"Tell me, Steve, which one of us is an expert in covert ops?" Nat asked pointedly.
"I think I'm with the super spy on this one." Scott spoke up.
"Thanks Scott." Nat flashed a quick smile.
"You're welcome." Scott said enthusiastically.
"And what happened the last time we split up?" Steve's eyes flashed with emotion. "I don't want to risk anyone getting captured again."
"We made that decision together." Sam inserted firmly. "You didn't force anyone to stay behind, man."
"If we split up before we're discovered, we won't be in the same situation." Natasha continued. "We won't have to sacrifice anyone for the others to get away."
"Or maybe we should."
Everyone looked at Clint. Wanda felt like she suddenly couldn't swallow. Her throat was so dry.
"What do you mean, Clint?" Steve demanded.
"Clint." Natasha said sharply at the same time.
"I mean that maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing if the government gets some of us back in custody. Helps Ross save face with the Oversight Committee. Maybe we could even feed Ross bad intel. Have an inside guy."
"No." Steve said angrily. "No one is going back to the Raft."
"He thinks he can negotiate for house arrest." Natasha said quietly.
Clint finally met Wanda's gaze. "Ross offered house arrest if I provided intel before. I turned him down cause I couldn't leave you there. But as long as you're out of that hellhole…"
"No, Clint." Wanda whispered, feeling tears threatening.
He reached out and gently squeezed her hand, and she saw the pain in his face, but he turned back to the others.
"The most important thing is that we keep Wanda and Bucky and Steve out of Ross' reach. After what they did to Wanda, I wouldn't put it past them to experiment on Bucky and even you, Steve. What if they take your blood and figure out how to make more super soldier serum? What if they use Bucky as their own personal weapon? The worst they can do to the rest of us is steal our gear."
"They already did steal my gear." Sam grumbled.
"If I can negotiate house arrest, I'll be able to be with my family." Clint swallowed hard. "It won't be a picnic, but I won't miss seeing my kids grow up either."
In the silence, Scott let out a heavy sigh. "If I could get house arrest and be with Cassie, I'd do it too."
"So what? You're both just gonna turn yourselves in?" Steve looked like he was in pain. "What if Ross won't let you be on house arrest? What if he tortures you for information?"
Wanda saw a flash of needles and lab coats and clipboards. She must have made some sort of sound because everyone looked towards her. Clint gently put an arm around her shoulders and she closed her eyes.
"I don't think they'd torture us. We're both US citizens and un-enhanced. Our privilege is that we actually do have some rights under the Accords."
Wanda felt the ground moving beneath her feet.
"Wanda, you ok?" Sam asked gently.
Wanda opened her eyes and carefully slid out from under Clint's arm. "I just need a minute." She said, her voice shaking. "I'll be right back."
She crossed the room to her bathroom and slipped inside before anyone could respond. She flicked on the light and locked the door.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
How could she ask Clint to stay? To choose her instead of his wife and kids? She couldn't. No, she wouldn't.
But the thought of doing this without him…
You aren't his flesh and blood and you never will be. His real family will always come first.
She knew that wasn't fair to him. She knew that if Pietro were still alive, he would come first. But it still hurt. It still made her feel like she was going to come undone.
The blade was in her hand before she even realized what she was doing. Four new marks joined the six already there on her upper thigh. The pain grounded her, and she finally felt like she could breathe a little easier. Focusing on the physical pain as she cleaned up the blood made the hurt in her heart feel less sharp. She knew it should scare her, how much she was beginning to rely on the pain, but she couldn't find the strength to care.
It all happened way too fast. By evening they were all standing on the Wakandan tarmac. Natasha, Clint, and Scott were saying goodbye. Scott wheeled his chair over and held out his hand.
"Take care of yourself." He said gently, squeezing her hand. "We're still a family, even if we're apart."
Nat took both of Wanda's hands and gave her a fierce look. "Я вернусь, как только смогу. Держи этих парней в узде. [I'll be back as soon as I can. Keep these guys in line.]"
Wanda let Clint pull her into a hug, feeling the guilt and sorrow pouring from him like waves.
"I'm sorry, Wanda." He said quietly into her hair. "Steve and Barnes and Wilson have got your back ok? You can trust them." He paused and she heard his voice catch. "Love you, kiddo."
At some point during the hug, Wanda went from hugging him back to clinging to him. She desperately wanted to beg him to stay.
"Love you too." She choked out into his shoulder.
She forced herself to let go and stepped back, watching the three of them vanish into a small plane. T'Challa and a few others had already left in a larger plane for South Korea. Wanda could tell the atmosphere for the remaining Wakandans was tense.
"Alright let's load up." Steve said quietly.
Wanda joined James and Sam and Steve in a small plane of their own. It almost looked like a large helicopter, but with no propeller. The pilot was a member of the Dora Milaje. The ship was a simple, modern design that matched everything else she'd seen in Wakanda. The pilot sat cross legged on the floor in a meditative pose, soft blue holographic controls lighting up around her. The seating was a simple bench seat that circled the inside of the plane. Wanda sat, grateful for the lack of safety harnesses. She had already imagined attempting to buckle herself in and having a full panic attack. James sat next to her, about an arms length away. Steve and Sam took seats across from them. Through the large front window, Wanda watched the plane with Natasha, Clint, and Scott take off, feeling hollow inside.
The discussion on where to go had been a long argument. They had finally landed on Canada with the Wakandan ship dropping them off in a wildlife reserve a few days' walk from Montreal. James and Sam spoke fluent French and Steve and Wanda spoke some. The Canadian wilderness was a good place to disappear and go off grid, and Montreal had a large homeless population to blend in with. James had remembered that there was a Hydra safehouse located near a small town called Saint-Zénon that would have some supplies.
Their plane began to rise in the air, hovering smoothly. Wanda watched the city of Birnin Zana get smaller. It really was a beautiful place, and a small part of Wanda wished she'd had more time to actually see it. The buildings were modern and sleek, but the thatched roofs and hanging gardens kept it from feeling cold and sterile. A maglev train wound its way through the city which was just beginning to light up as the sun set.
The plane rose high enough to get through the cloaking field and the city disappeared under the projection of a desolate mountain range.
"It's gonna be a long flight." Steve said. "So try and get some sleep."
Their pilot, Iwo, showed them how to turn their bench seats into a bed with just the push of a button. Wanda lay on her back, staring at the dark ceiling, listening to Steve and Sam quietly talking. She missed Clint. She hoped Ross let him go home to his family. The thought of him back in his cell at the Raft made her feel queasy. What if Ross hurt him? What if he punished Scott and Clint for their escape? She shivered. It was getting colder in the plane and she was laying on top of the blankets to avoid feeling trapped.
"You know there are blankets on that bed."
Wanda turned her head to see James lying on his side, looking at her. There was a single bench seat between them, and the layout of having two small beds close to each other like this made her think of her childhood bedroom with Pietro. Pain speared through her chest.
"I know." She mumbled. "I just feel…trapped. If I use them."
"It gets real cold in Canada." James said quietly.
Wanda shivered again, feeling icy claws of panic dig into her chest.
"If you don't want to use the blankets, there's always good ol' fashioned body heat."
Wanda's gaze snapped back to James. He had a crooked smile on his face, and it felt like a challenge. It was strange how she felt her spirits immediately rise to match his teasing tone.
"Oh I know, Steve already offered." She said sweetly.
The look of delighted surprise on his face at her response felt almost intoxicating.
Across the plane, Steve's conversation with Sam abruptly halted. "Wait what?"
"Steve, you sly dog, you." James called over to Steve.
Steve sat up. "Wait…what?"
Wanda dissolved into giggles and James grinned widely.
"We're just gassin' ya, Steve."
"That's something my grandpa would say." Sam muttered.
"Hey, respect your elders, Sam." James said, still grinning.
Sam grumbled something about being surrounded by fossils.
"Alright alright, lights out." Steve said, but he was smiling.
Wanda woke to someone gently shaking her shoulder. She jerked up with a panicked gasp and met Steve's eyes.
"It's just me." He said quickly. "Sorry. We're here."
She sat up, rubbing her gritty eyes and trying to calm her heart rate. Iwo was lowering the gangway and Sam and James were gathering up their meager belongings. Wanda had a small bag that Shuri had left for her full of medical supplies for her neck, a change of clothes, feminine products, and at the very bottom in a small box, the set of razor blades.
It was still dark outside and chilly. It was a bit of a shock after the warm African sunshine. The September air was crisp and slightly damp. Leaves crunched under her feet. Iwo had landed the plane in a small meadow surrounded by trees. It was so quiet.
"I wish you the best." Iwo said warmly before quickly returning to the ship.
The four of them watched as the ship silently rose in the air and disappeared with its cloaking ability. Wanda felt a chill crawl up her spine. They were truly alone in the Canadian wilderness.
"Well." Steve said. "Bucky, you're up. Let's go see if any Hydra goons are home."
They set off, single file. James led the way, followed by Steve, then Wanda, and Sam brought up the rear. The walk to Saint-Zénon would take several hours, meaning they would arrive in the early morning. James and Steve both had compasses and maps. Wanda had no idea which direction they were going and couldn't find the energy to feel anxious about blindly following their lead.
It was hard, walking through the woods in the dark. They moved slowly, but Wanda soon began to suspect that both James and Steve could see in the dark better than an average human. They seemed to avoid every obstacle with ease, while she and Sam were constantly tripping over logs and brush and slipping on wet mossy rocks. It wasn't long before Wanda was breathing hard and her legs felt like jelly.
"Must be nice to see in the dark like a damn cat." Sam groaned as he pulled his leg out of a rotten log.
Wanda took the opportunity to catch her breath. "You ok?"
"Yeah, you?" He pulled several long pieces of wood out of his pants.
"I'm fine." She said, wiping her nose on her sleeve.
Now that they were moving, she didn't feel so cold. But her nose was running constantly and her fingers felt like ice. Her shoes were wet from accidentally stepping in a creek. She desperately hoped the Hydra safehouse would have better gear. She knew that T'Challa had given Steve some Canadian money as well, so they could do some shopping if needed.
Do all monarchs have large caches of foreign money laying around just in case?
After about an hour of walking they reached the small two lane highway. They kept to the woods, out of sight of any vehicles, but followed the road. The brush was less dense near the road and as the sun came up, walking grew easier. They passed a few homes and motels near the highway. A few times they had to walk alongside the road when the terrain became a rocky cliff wall on one side and a river on the other. Thankfully it was early enough that they didn't see any vehicles. Wanda was exhausted, but also increasingly on edge as the sun rose.
Two hours later, James turned off onto a dirt road. They followed it for a long time until it came to a metal gate. Behind the gate was an overgrown road. It clearly had not been used for some time.
"It's just up the road. I don't think anyone should be there." James' rubbed his forehead as though it hurt. "My memories aren't super clear, but I think it was always empty the couple times I used it. Still, be alert."
The four of them moved quietly up the road. Wanda's heart was pounding in her ears. She almost screamed when a deer suddenly jumped out of the brush and went bounding away down the road. Sam had darted in front of her protectively, and he turned looking slightly sheepish.
"Pretty sure that wasn't a Hydra agent, but you never know." He said.
Wanda let out a nervous laugh.
The building eventually appeared. It looked like an abandoned trailer with rusted junk sitting around it. The grass and weeds were overgrown and the windows were broken.
"This is a secret Hydra bolthole?" Sam asked, his eyebrows nearly touching his hairline.
James gave him a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Just wait."
They followed him inside, stepping over ancient piles of trash, the moldy carpet squishing under their shoes.
"Well, I certainly wouldn't have suspected this place." Steve said, wrinkling his nose at the smell.
In one of the small bedrooms, James opened up the small closet and revealed a hidden keypad. He typed in a code and the floor of the closet slid back with a creak and a groan, revealing a staircase beneath it. Steve pulled a flashlight from his bag and shone it down the dark stairs, illuminating the many cobwebs.
"Ok now this just feels like a Scooby Doo episode." Sam muttered.
"What the hell is Scooby Doo?" James asked, beginning to descend down the stairs.
Steve, Wanda, and Sam followed as Sam started talking fondly about a cartoon dog who solved mysteries. James found a breaker box, flipped a giant lever, and a series of dusty lights flickered to life. The room was very utilitarian in a way that made Wanda think of the Hydra base in Sokovia. There were several cots for sleeping, a cabinet of what looked like medical supplies, a toilet and a sink, a freestanding shower in the corner with a drain in the concrete floor, a computer that looked like it was from the 90's, and an entire wall of weapons.
"Yeah, this looks more like a Hydra bolthole." Sam said appreciatively.
They started going through the various cabinets and drawers. Wanda lingered near James, watching him out of the corner of her eye. She could see the muscle jumping in his jaw and noted the tense way he seemed to be holding himself. His metal hand kept closing into a fist. He opened a drawer that was full of files and slowly pulled one out and opened it. Then he froze.
"James?" Wanda murmured anxiously.
He didn't answer. She forced herself to count to ten before she carefully reached out and touched his arm. A jolt went through her, and she gasped, jerking her hand back. She looked to Steve and Sam, and her heart started pounding when she realized they were gone. She looked back at James, but he was also gone. Standing before her was the Winter Soldier.
His hair was longer and shaggier. There was a day's worth of stubble on his face along with no small amount of splattered blood. His silver arm with the red star glinted in the dim light. He was methodically placing several polaroid photographs in a file. Wanda caught a glimpse of blood and broken bodies and dead staring eyes and felt sick. She was standing right next to him, but he didn't appear to see her.
"Soldat." A gruff voice startled her.
Wanda and James both turned to see an older man in a Hydra uniform standing in the middle of the room.
"Nettoyez-vous. [Clean up]." He ordered in French.
James obediently put the file down and moved towards the shower in the corner of the room. He began stripping, removing his tactical vest and clothes with no emotion. Wanda averted her eyes, looking instead at the Hydra agent. He was watching James with an assessing gaze. He looked to be in his mid 50's, his dark hair graying. His face was narrow, mouth drawn into what seemed to be a permanent frown. He crossed the room to the file that James had placed on the cabinet and picked it up, flipping through the photos.
"Où est l'enfant? [Where is the child?]" He asked, and the tone of his voice made the hair rise on Wanda's neck.
James didn't immediately answer, so the man and Wanda both glanced at him. He was standing naked under the stream of water, which judging from the lack of steam and his shivering must have been ice cold. There was a large bloody gash in his side. His wet hair clung to his face. His eyes looked so empty.
"Soldat, rapport. [Soldier, report.]" The man growled.
"L'enfant n'était pas là. [The child was not there.]" James said in a monotone voice.
The man closed the file and placed it on the cabinet. His dark eyes glittered and Wanda fought the urge to shrink back even though he couldn't see her.
"Tu ment. [You're lying.]" The man said coldly.
James turned off the water and stood dripping and shivering, blood still seeping from the wound in his side, but his facial expression did not change.
"Vos ordres étaient clairs. Aucun survivant. Pas de témoins. [Your orders were clear. No survivors. No witnesses.]"
The man drew a baton from his belt and approached James. The baton hummed and green light crackled around the top of it. James still didn't move. The man stopped in front of James, a cruel smile curling across his face.
"Restez immobile et ne faites pas de bruit. [Stay still and make no noise.]" The man said softly.
James obeyed. The baton stabbed into the bloody wound in his side and his body jerked and seized slightly, but he didn't move or make a sound. The man smiled, watching James' face as the smell of burning flesh filled the room. Wanda darted forwards, unable to be a silent bystander any longer.
"Stop it!" She screamed.
Their eyes snapped to her.
"Putain qui es-tu? [Who the fuck are you?]" The man yelled, swinging the baton in her direction.
Wanda raised her hands and blasted him with a beam of red light. The Hydra agent's face contorted into a silent scream before he disintegrated into nothing.
James had shifted into a fighting stance, his gaze focused on her with deadly intent. Wanda stopped in her tracks and stared at him, breathing hard.
"Soldat." She said, swallowing hard and trying not to vomit at the smell and sight of the partially cauterized wound in his side. "Отойди. [Stand down.]"
A tiny crease formed between his brows, and he hesitated.
"Пожалуйста, оденься. [Please, get dressed.]" She tried, her voice shaking. "Нам нужно перевязать эту рану. [We need to bandage this wound.]"
"Обработчик сброса. Требуется пароль. [Reset handler. Password required.]" His voice was so low and promised violence.
Shit.
Wanda hesitated for a brief moment, inwardly begging his forgiveness, and slipped into his mind. It was terrifyingly easy to find the password. His mind was so empty as though it had been hollowed out of everything but his directive. It made her skin crawl.
"Прозрачный. [Transparent]." She whispered.
His face smoothed over and he straightened. "Готов выполнить. [Ready to comply]."
"Please get dressed." She said again, this time in English.
He obeyed robotically, stepping out from the shower and pulling fresh clothes out of a nearby locker. She considered calling him by his name, but the emptiness of his mind still rattled her. There was no sense of self inside him at this point. She wondered what the year was.
"Soldat, are you alright?" She asked softly.
He looked at her with that empty expression as he pulled a shirt over his head. "Physical functioning unimpaired. Pain levels moderate."
Wanda tried to hold them back, but tears trickled down her cheeks. "Unimpaired!? You look like you got shot."
James stood silent and still, looking at her with that small furrow between his eyebrows again.
"Confirm." He finally said.
"How badly would you have to be hurt before you were impaired?"
"Impaired is mission failure. Impaired is death."
Wanda gaped at him. "What if you got shot somewhere life threatening? Or broke your leg?"
James looked so confused that it hurt her heart. "The Asset feels no pain."
"No." She felt so helpless and furious. "You're human. You feel pain."
"The Asset is a weapon."
Wanda took a breath and forced her anger at Hydra to the back of her mind. He was standing there injured. Now was not the time.
"Can I bandage your wound?" She asked.
The furrow between his eyebrows got deeper.
"Confirm." He finally said again.
Wanda turned around, aggressively wiping her eyes, and started rummaging through the cabinet. She found gauze and sterile bandages fairly quickly. There was also pain medication, but she doubted that would work on him, so she left it. He was still standing near the shower, but he was fully dressed. His wet hair was still plastered to his head and she had a sudden flash of James gently toweling off her hair in her room in Wakanda.
"Can you pull up your shirt, please?" She asked when she reached his side.
He silently pulled his shirt up, revealing the ugly wound. Wanda carefully placed the sterile bandage against the wound and began wrapping gauze around his waist. His skin was icy cold and covered in brutal scars.
"What happened?" She asked quietly as she worked.
"Targets eliminated."
"No, what happened to you?"
There was a pause.
"Asset received a parallel abrasion from a close range gunshot. Estimated healing time: 13 hours."
Wanda finished bandaging his waist and straightened, meeting his gaze. She'd forgotten how flat his eyes had been as the Winter Soldier. He pulled his shirt back down and she couldn't resist catching his human hand. It felt almost as cold as his metal one.
"You should try to warm up. You're freezing." She said gently, wrapping both her hands around his in an attempt to warm him up.
Something flashed through his eyes as though some sort of powerful emotion was breaking free. Her breath caught.
"James?" She whispered.
He shuddered and this time she could clearly see the fear in his eyes. She thought back to Steve trying to bring her out of her flashback.
"James, this isn't real." She kept her voice soft. "This is a memory. You're not with Hydra anymore. Steve saved you."
The metal plates on his arm whirred as they shifted almost frantically. She opened her mouth to repeat what she'd said, but he suddenly moved faster than she could track. He ripped his hand free from her grip, grabbed her around the throat, and shoved her back against the lockers. Her head smacked hard into the metal and she stared at him dazed. His eyes were glittering with emotion and his mouth was working like he was trying to say something, but no words were coming out. She scrabbled at his arm, trying to pull it off her throat, but he resisted easily. He wasn't choking her, but she knew he could start squeezing any second.
"Who are you?" He finally got out through gritted teeth.
"James-" She gasped.
Before she could continue, his metal hand swung towards her face. She squeezed her eyes shut and his fist crashed into the metal lockers right next to her head. The deafening sound made her right ear ring painfully and she couldn't help the cry of fear that escaped.
Then Steve and Sam were there, pulling James away and shouting. James released her, stumbling backwards, his eyes wide with horror. Steve put his body between James and Wanda and Sam quickly moved to Wanda's side, grabbing her as she started to slump. Her head was throbbing.
"-you hear me? Wanda! Can you hear me?" Sam was asking anxiously.
"Yes." She said shakily. "I'm ok, Sam."
"Oh thank god." Sam breathed. He gently turned her head slightly, examining and carefully feeling the back of her head with his fingers. "Well you're gonna have a good bump that's for sure."
"He didn't mean to hurt me." The words were tumbling out of her mouth so quickly. "He was having a flashback. It's not his fault. He was-"
"I know." Sam interrupted sharply. He took a breath and softened his voice. "I know. It's ok Wanda. I just wanted to make sure you weren't hurt."
Sam helped her stand up straight and she looked up to where Steve was speaking to James in a low voice. James' eyes were on the floor. She pushed past Sam and marched directly up to them. James looked up and tried to recoil, but she snagged his arm.
"No." She said fiercely, still full of fury at seeing how Hydra had treated him. "I'm not hurt and it's not your fault."
"I'm sorry-" He started hoarsely.
"The only one who should be sorry is Hydra."
Wanda knew her eyes were glowing red. She wished there had been a Hydra agent here so she could make them hurt. There was a brief silence where James avoided all of their eyes.
"What did you see?" Steve asked quietly.
"1976." He said in a flat voice. "I came back here after I assassinated two scientists in Montreal. They had defected from Hydra together. They had a child. I was supposed to kill the child too, but I left him alive." He closed his eyes. "I was punished. My handler read the words, and I returned and completed the mission."
Wanda felt horror wash over her. "They made you go back?"
James opened his eyes and met her gaze. His face was carefully blank.
"Yes. I went back and murdered a five year old child. The pictures are in the file if you want to see for yourself."
"Fuck." Sam said hoarsely.
"Bucky." Steve said softly. "It wasn't you."
James swallowed hard. "I still did it."
"Hydra did it." Wanda was still holding his arm. She shifted her grip to his hand and squeezed gently. "You were fighting it. You lied to your handler. And he tortured you."
James was staring blankly somewhere over her shoulder, but slowly she felt his hand curl around hers and grip it tightly.
"I'm sorry, Buck." Steve said. "I should have realized coming here would be a trigger."
"Yeah, man, that was a dumb move on our part." Sam clasped a hand on James' shoulder. " I'm sorry too."
"It was my idea to come here." James said roughly. "Not your fault."
"After we get what we need, can we burn this place to the ground?" Wanda asked hopefully.
One side of James' mouth curled up slightly. "So violent."
Steve huffed a laugh. "Yeah geez, Wanda, you sound like Nat."
Wanda grinned, genuinely pleased. "Thank you."