Trigger warning. Panic attacks. If this bother you ummm probably skip over when Haruhi walked into the room.

Sorry for the posting so much. I get into moods and I was posting this somewhere else.

'Why do I feel like puking all of a sudden?' Haruhi thought to herself. She massaged her forehead with her fingers. She could also feel a headache coming in as well.

Great, just great.

It was the afternoon on the next day. She mostly spent her time with Honey and the host club. They played games, talked and spent time together. They went outside and they did not have any plans to do so.

All of them except for Kyoya were in the sitting room as they played video games or watched a movie. After a game of chess with Mori, she started to feel a bit sick. It only got worse as time passed.

She wasn't feeling that bad at first, in fact she woke up feeling just fine. Besides the fact that Tamaki was yelling at Honey for soiling her 'innocence' and Honey snapping at him. She could say that her mood was probably good.

'What the heck happened?'She thought to herself. She got up from her seat as she held her head.

"Haruhi. My dear daughter, are you alright?" Tamaki said to her. She looked at him then at everyone else.

The twins were looking up at her from their game. Mori and Honey were looking at her too. Mori looked as stoic as ever. Honey had a frown on his face.

Yet he looked so out of it. His eyes looked duller and his face was blank.

She sighed. She really doesn't need this right now.

"I'm fine. I just need to get something. I'm just feeling a bit sick." Haruhi said. Tamaki's eyes widened which made her eyes twitch.

"Oh Haruhi. Are you sick? Did you catch something?" Tamaki asked while looking over at her. She sighed.

"No. I'm not sick. This just happens from time to time." Haruhi said to him as she backed away from him. She really doesn't like the feel of everyone's eyes on her.

Tamaki gasped as his hands covered his mouth. Haruhi could feel a twitch coming.

She doesn't wanna stick around. He's about to say something stupid.

She could feel it.

"Are you pregnant Haruhi? Did Honey-senpai get you pregnant?" Tamaki asked her.

"What?" The twins yelled. She could've swore she heard a small growl as well.

And there it is. Haruhi looked at Tamaki blankly for a very long time before turning around.

'Yeah. I'm not answering that.' She thought before leaving the room.

"Wait. Is it true? HARUHI." Tamaki yelled. Haruhi closed the door and started to walk away. She could still hear the yelling inside. Which only made her get a massive headache as it got louder.

" SHUT UP. HOW CAN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING SO STUPID?" Honey yelled loudly. Haruhi stopped mid-walk and looked at the door.

'Was that Honey-senpai?' She thought to herself. She was tempted to walk back. The door opened and Honey quickly ran out the room. He went to a completely different direction

She blinked.

She was sure he was fine when they woke up. He was being completely stubborn about waking up but that was the usual. The crankiness was short lived and he was in a much happier mood. He also talked a lot during breakfast and was just fine when they were playing checkers.

She did recall he started to get more quiet after a while. He would slowly stop talking then eventually moved to sit next to Mori. Hugging Usa-chan close to his chest as he plays with the bunny's ears.

The sound of rain hitting the window made her ears twitch. She looked out the window. She frowned deeply. " Oh, it's raining."She muttered under her breath. Feeling slightly more uncomfortable at the sight of grey clouds and droplets.

It was making her feel more sick now.

It wasn't raining this morning. It was clear.

At least there isn't any thunder along with it. It'll probably be ten times worse for her.

Haruhi's eyes widened. Oh. That explains why she was feeling so sick. Rainy days, for some reason, always made her feel ill.

Meanwhile rainy days always made Honey a bit more withdrawn and cranky. The rain had always done something to Honey's sudden mood changes.

From the looks of it, it had been raining for quite a while too.

Now that leaves one question. Since when he became so cranky on rainy days?

Her memory is still very spotty but she does remember rainy days didn't affect him so much in the past.

Probably.

She doesn't really remember.

She always remembered him running around in the rain. Mostly for training, she knew that because he would always wear his gi dripping wet. She would remember him hugging her despite being wet. His laughter would be so contagious that she'll end up laughing and hugging him back.

She tried to think some more but all she gets is flashes and the urge to lay down. She shook her head and walked to her room. She was sure her father had packed her some medicine.

She sighed and walked past the study. 'Should I ask him?'She asked herself. 'Would he tell me?'

"Something on your mind, Fujioka." Haruhi broke out her thoughts and looked into the study. Kyoya was in the room looking through some books. Haruhi raised an eyebrow at him as she timidly walked in.

The stories Tamaki and the twins told her about Kyoya were still in her mind. Like he knew all their secrets and he's like the devil or something. She was sure that they were fooling around.

Hopefully.

"I'm just thinking about something." Haruhi said to him. "I want to ask Honey-senpai something but I'm afraid it'll be too personal."

Kyoya looked at Haruhi. " What is it about?" Haruhi shook her head. "Fujioka. I always find ways to get what I want."

Haruhi sighed. "His moods. I wanted to ask him about his mood." Haruhi said. She closed her eyes. "The rain didn't really affect his mood so much back then. Or at least I think so. Then again I'm the same way too."

"Same way?"Kyoya asked her. Haruhi frowned. She bit the inside of her cheek.

"The rain makes me feel queasy for some reason." Haruhi said cautiously. She held her head, it was starting to hurt again. "I don't think I was like this before." She was quiet for a while. Her head started to hurt. "I should go to my room."

"Do you want to talk about it?"Kyoya asked. Haruhi only shook her head slowly. "Why not?"

"I don't know. I just don't want to think about it right now." She whispered to herself. She started to edge towards the door.

" But don't you want to know?" Kyoya asked. Haruhi looked at Kyoya with a frown.

"Know what?"She asked him.

"Why do you feel this way? About the rain I mean." Kyoya answered for her.

"I do want to know but …"she trailed off. Her mind flashes quickly, some images were so quick. Yet she could always remember one a few things. She was getting weak just from remembering that.

Honey laying on the cold hard ground. Blood coming out the top of his head. It was raining.

The room started to spin. She felt a hand was placed on her shoulder.

"Easy Fujioka." Kyoya said to her. Haruhi shook her head as he led her to the chair.

"I, Mitsukuni. I need to see him." Haruhi said.

"He's fine." Kyoya said. Haruhi shook her head.

"No. I need to see him" Haruhi said quickly. She was shaking as the images came back.

"Relax, Haruhi. You need to relax."Kyoya said to her. Haruhi shook her head. "You have to believe me. He's fine."

Haruhi sat down but she wouldn't stop shaking. He sighed. " You'll feel much better if you relax."

'Will he stop telling her to relax?' Haruhi thought as she tried to breathe.

Haruhi looked at Kyoya, she looked at the door. After a few minutes she sat down and Kyoya removed his hand off her shoulder. Haruhi slowly calmed down but she was playing with her fingers.

"Do you want to talk about it now?"Kyoya asked again. Haruhi looked at Kyoya then at the door. " Haruhi."

"I don't want to see it again. I don't want to see him hurt."Haruhi said quietly. She started to get a headache as she started to remember more. More pieces started to appear but most of them were flashes. She did get memories of him fighting. He was covered in blood too.

What was happening? What was going on?

"He got hurt because of me. He was trying to protect me."She explained as her mind was processing this whole thing. Some memories were longer than the flashes she was getting. Yet the flashes felt worse.

So much worse.

She started to breathe heavily, she could feel tears coming down her eyes.

"Calm down, Haruhi." Kyoya said to her.

"STOP TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN."Haruhi yelled. Tears ran down her eyes. Her nails dug in knees. "I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. WHY DID YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT? I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER IT."

She closed her eyes tightly as images of an eight year old boy get beaten and thrown. Those filled her head but at the same time she could see him fighting.

Was this real? Was this a dream?

It hurts way too badly for it to be a dream.

"HARUHI." The boy yelled as he ran over her. It is raining really hard around them. He was also covered in blood.

Was it his Blood? Is he going to die? Is she going to die?

She watched as the boy ran over to her. Tears were running down his eyes. She tried to reach out but her arms won't move. Her eyes felt so heavy as well.

Maybe if I just go to sleep.

"HARUHI." Honey yelled. Haruhi snapped into the present. She felt someone holding her head up.

She could still feel tears running down her face as she looked into Honey's warm brown eyes. She could see the fear in his eyes as he held her face. His forehead touching hers.

His eyes looked so wet but he wasn't crying. Why isn't he crying? Something was wrong.

"Mitsukuni."She whispered. The world around her started to spin and her head was pounding. Yet the sight of him made the weight on her shoulders slowly disappear.

Honey sighed as he kissed her forehead. He pulled her into a hug as she hugged him back. She took in his sweet scent, so much better than the iron and rain smell.

"I'm here, Haru-chan. I'm right here." Honey whispered. Why does his voice sound husky? Why does it relax her so much? She closed her eyes as she listened to his voice. "I'm not leaving you. Never again."

"Promise?"She whispered to him. She felt him kiss her hair.

"Promise."He whispered.

She sighed, breathed a few times before going to sleep.

After Haruhi had fallen asleep, Honey continued to hold her. Stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. The rain was already making him irritable but now Kyoya pulled something like this. He really wanted to punch the younger boy but he wanted to stay with Haruhi.

He sighed before looking around the room.

Kyoya had backed away from them. Tamaki and the twins were by the door, probably shocked from Haruhi's sudden outburst. Then he looked at Mori who was standing by the chair, looking at them with his stoic face. Yet he could see the pain in his eyes.

Honey frowned and looked at Haruhi again.

"Takashi. Can you pick her up?"He asked his cousin. Mori nodded and walked over to the pair. Yet Haruhi made a small groan of protest which made him stop.

Honey blinked. Wasn't she asleep?

He sighed.

"I'll get Rini-chan and Usa-chan."Mori said to him. Honey looked at his cousin before he slowly nodded his head. Mori left the room and Honey looked back at Haruhi. Stroking her hair lightly, ignoring the rest of the host club members.

Honey took a seat on the sofa, moving her with him. He leaned on the armrest as he touched her shoulders. He didn't pay any mind when Kyoya ushered the trio out or when Mori came with their stuffed animals, pillows and blankets. He just focuses on her.

Knowing he'll be here for a while, he pulled the blanket over her. She sighed against him.

'What did she remember?'he asked himself. He sighed as he moved to lay to their side. Putting pillows under their head as well as his. Her grip hasn't even lessened from all the movement he was making.

He could go to sleep but the sound of rain isn't really relaxing to him.

His morning started out fine enough. Of course there was the thing with Tamaki but Honey's always crabby.

Yet the rain. He sighed.

Why did it rain? If he knew it was going to rain he would've stayed away from everyone. Yet Mori wanted to make sure that he was alright.

He doesn't know why Takashi bother. He also felt the same about rainy days, he was just more quiet about it.

He sighed as he breathed in and out slowly. Trying to calm his nerves. Trying to forget that day.

It helped that he had a distraction. It sucks that it's Haruhi having a panic attack.

Now that he thinks about it, she didn't like that she was doing too well either. They really didn't have many rainy days together but the days did were really short.

She often muttered about a headache or just space out.

He closed his eyes. He really doesn't know when she'll wake up. She probably sleeps for hours.

He sighed. He didn't mind, he probably needed a nap anyway. He closed his eyes and took in her scent. It relaxed him a little bit. Maybe it's enough for him to get some sleep.

He drifted to sleep.

"What's going on in there?"Tamaki asked while the twins and him listened to the door. Mori pulled the three away from the door. They pouted at him as he sighed. "Mori-senpai."He whined which only made Mori sighed.

" Let's leave them alone."He said to the three. They looked at the door then at him. "They'll be fine." They sighed before they walked down the hall.

Mori looked over Kyoya, quietly looking at him. Kyoya looked like he was in a daze. Kyoya finally noticed and sighed. "I know. I shouldn't have pushed her."Kyoya said. "I just wanted to see how far she remembered. I didn't think that she'll react that way."

Mori didn't say anything. He just looked at the door one more time.

Kyoya went to follow the others as Mori stayed behind.

Mori sighed and looked out the window with a frown. Flashes of a young crying Honey and unconscious Haruhi flashed his mind. His cousins yelling and his tears.

Rainy days always do this to his moods. Yet he never shows it to anyone. Honey noticed which is why he tried to avoid him but it never worked.

Rainy days make him a bit more protective of his cousin.

He wanted to stay with them. He knows that they're safe but another part kept yelling at him.

'They could be taken again. This time it could be worse.'

He wanted to laugh at the irony. Mitsukuni isn't the only one that has to face his demons.

Haruhi woke up slowly from a massive headache. She felt all kinds of bad. She blinked when saw that she was face to face with Honey.

Why was he here?

She tried to remember but what she came up with was that she was talking to Kyoya, images of her 'dreams' and that little memory.

That little memory sort of scared her. The sound of rain could be heard from outside which only made her feel worse. She groaned as she nuzzled into Honey's chest.

She doesn't want to think about it. Not at the moment. She just wanted to stop feeling terrible. Honey groaned as she felt him pull her closer to him. She blinked.

'Why does this feel so familiar to me?' She thought as she hugged him back.

"Haru-chan."Honey whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Yes. I am."Haruhi whispered.

"How are you feeling?"He asked her. Haruhi groaned.

"Like hell."She whispered. "My head hurts, really badly. What happened?

Honey stopped for a few minutes. "What can you remember?"He asked her.

"Talking to Kyoya, my nightmare and a memory. Or at least I think it's a memory."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"He asked her.

"No."Haruhi said to him. "Not now."

"Okay."he whispered.

"Honey-senpai."Haruhi whispered.

"Mmmm."

"Did you find a therapist yet?"

"No. I didn't. I was going to ask Kyo-chan but I'm mad at him." Honey muttered.

"Why?" Haruhi asked.

"You had a panic attack because of him."He muttered.

Haruhi blinked and cuddled him. She can't even tease him about that, he had a reason to be upset. A very good reason.

"Why did you ask?"Honey asked.

"I don't want to burden you with this. You shouldn't be in charge of taking care of me."She whispered. "Not when I'm like this. I need to understand why I'm like this and practice better coping mechanisms." Honey wanted to protest but she beat him to it." It could be worse next time. You probably won't be around if it happens. You can't be with me all the time."

Honey sighed.

Haruhi felt him pull her head to make eye contact with him. She blinked as she stared at him. He looked mature, his usual happy expression was gone.

She smiled. Not caring her heart was thundering in her chest. She went through something traumatic. It's probably just that.

"Then I could come with you." Honey said to her. Haruhi shook her head. Honey sighed. "If you're going to therapy then I'm going too."

Haruhi sighed and shooker head. Honey pouted at her. She weakly smiled at him. "You should go if you want too."

"But I want too." Honey said. Haruhi raised an eyebrow at her.

"Are you doing this because you want to stay with me?"She asked him. "Cause you don't have too. I'm not going to leave you."

" I know,"He whispered. He looked into her eyes. "I know you'll never leave me. I just want too. I have wanted to for a while now. I was just afraid."

Haruhi sighed. "Alright but we are not having the same therapist."She told him.

Honey smiled at her. "Okay."

"We could talk about our sessions but we shouldn't pressure each other."Haruhi said. "I know we'll never do that with each other but there could be something that could be difficult to talk about." Haruhi said. Honey nodded his head.

"Anything else?"He asked her. Haruhi thought.

"No. Nothing else" She whispered as she yawned. "Not I could think of."

Honey watched her for a while. "Let's go to bed." Haruhi looked at him oddly. "A bed will be much more comfier."he said with a big smile.

Haruhi nodded at her as she looked around. "You're right. Someone would need to use the room."She whispered. Honey laughed. He kissed her forehead.

"That's my girl."He said.

They both got up. Haruhi slower since she had a massive headache. Honey put the blanket over her shoulders and gave her Rini-chan. He picked up Usa-chan and took her hand.

They left the study and quietly walked down the hall.

Honey squeezed her hand gently as the sound rain could be heard. Haruhi gulped.

"What time do you think it is?"She asked him. Honey blinked and looked over to her.

"I don't know. It looks pretty dark and I don't hear the others." Honey said. Haruhi hummed. "Are you hungry Haru-chan? We could get something to eat."

"No. I'm not hungry."Haruhi said to him.

"Okay. Just let me know if you are, alright. We could go down to the kitchen and get you something to eat."Honey said with light cheer.

"I will."Haruhi said to him.

" Do you need anything?"He asked her.

"I just need to take some painkillers and to lay down. I probably need some water too." Haruhi said.

"I could get all that for you." Honey said to her.

"You really don't have too." Haruhi whispered.

"But I want too."He said back. Haruhi sighed. "Besides, it'll be a good distraction."

Haruhi sighed. "Fine."

"It could also give you time to change clothes."he added.

"That's true but what about you?" Haruhi asked. Honey looked at her.

"What about me?"He asked her. They stopped at her door and he opened it. They both walked in.

"Are you going to stay with me?"She asked him. Honey looked at Haruhi.

"Only until you fall asleep again."He said to her. He led her to the bed. She took a seat and watched him. "Unless you want me to sleep with you. Will you be alright on your own?"

"I don't know. That last memory confused me."She whispered. Honey blinked at her. "It wasn't a good memory."

"I see."He said to her. He looked around the room for something. He found her bag. "Where's your painkillers?"he asked her.

"Front pouch." Haruhi said to him. She watched as Honey went to get her painkillers and went to the bathroom. She was left alone, with the sound of rain and her thoughts.

Sighing, she got to change into her nightgown, this time it was light pink pajama bottoms and matching top. She was in the middle taking off her top until she heard a sound.

She looked over to the bathroom door to see Honey looking away from her. She put on her top and straightened it out. "Ummm. You could look now." she said to him.

Honey looked over to Haruhi and walked over to her. He handed her the pills and water and she took it. After that she picked up Rini-chan from the and crawled into bed.

Honey followed after her with Usa-chan. After a few minutes Honey pulled out his phone and smiled at her. "Wanna watch something?"He asked her. Haruhi blinked but nodded her head.

Honey picked a random video, not caring what is or what it was. It was something to keep their minds off the rain that was outside.

After a few hours of silently watching videos, both of them had fallen asleep.