"I like my doctor. He isn't bad at all."Honey chimed. It was Monday afternoon. Haruhi chewed her food as Honey talked. " He asked a lot of questions and I answered them. After our session was over he really was excited to see me go."
Haruhi sighed. 'He'd probably talked the poor man to death.'she thought while she took another bite of food. Mori only nodded slowly as he ate his lunch as well.
The three were at the garden today. They decided to only have lunch with just each other since the event was over. Of course Tamaki whined and complained but Haruhi mentioned that she can only eat so much gourmet food in a week.
Besides, she liked her alone time with Honey and Mori. She didn't get it that much with the twins and Tamaki fussing all over her.
They still eat with the host club but it is only three times a week. Yet there will be times when they will intrude on their time together. At least they have enough time for them to talk.
"Do you like your doctor?" Honey asked Haruhi. Haruhi nodded her head slowly.
"She's nice enough."Haruhi said with a thought.
Her first session wasn't so bad. The doctor mostly asked her questions and she answered. There were also times Haruhi found herself talking about Honey, and her memories. She also talked about the event and beach house.
The woman only gave her warm smile and wrote something down.
She really didn't get into the nightmares, memories or her panic attacks just yet. It was only a session after all. It's mostly to get to know each other anyway.
Honey cocked his head at his head. " Really?" Haruhi nodded her head and Honey beamed at her. Haruhi smiled at him in return. " That's good. Just as long you're comfortable with your doctor."
Mori nodded his head in agreement.
Haruhi blinked as she watched Honey eat his lunch. "Are you comfortable with your doctor?"she asked him. Honey nodded his head.
"He seemed like he was alright. Then again Kyo-chan picked him so he is probably trustworthy." Honey said thoughtfully. Haruhi blinked.
"Kyoya picked your doctor too?" Haruhi asked Honey as the boy nodded his head. "Why..?"
"Despite Kyo-chan being sneaky, sometimes he is still my friend and he would pick a good doctor." Honey said while eating. Haruhi nodded her head. "Besides, after the last doctor it was probably better to ask Kyo-chan."
Haruhi blinked. "Last doctor?" She asked. Honey shrugged.
"Nothing to worry about, Haru-chan."Honey said to her. Haruhi frowned. Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it. She could barely remember that doctor.
Her odd smile and the ways she acted. Just remembering that woman gave her chills.
"I can't wait for the club event. We're having a wedding theme."he said. "We get to be grooms."he chirped.
"I'm surprised, Kyoya-senpai didn't make me wear a dress." Haruhi said while she ate another . Honey sighed.
"Even though you'll look so cute in a wedding dress." Honey said with a smile. Haruhi raised an eyebrow. He smiled widely at her. "Maybe we should have a mock wedding."
Haruhi raised an eyebrow at him. "Why would we have a mock wedding?"she asked him. Honey gave her a big smile. Haruhi sighed and blankly stared at him. "You just wanna see me in a wedding dress."
Honey only nodded his head."Of course I do. Who wouldn't?"he said with a charming smile. "You're a pretty girl. You dress all in white. I always wanted to see you in a wedding dress."
Haruhi blinked before looking at her bento. Picking another piece of food. "How long ago was that?"she asked him. Not noticing his eyes darkening or the sad smile on his lips.
"When we were kids."he said deeply. Haruhi stopped before slowly looking back at him. Honey had picked up chopsticks and picked up a sweet eggroll. He stuffed it in his mouth. "Back then I imagined it very differently though."
Haruhi cocked her head. "What did you imagine back then?"she asked. Honey hummed as tapped his chopsticks to his chin. He smiled.
"You are in a very pretty white dress while holding Rini-chan."Honey said while closing his eyes. "Of course there will be tons of cakes and sweets. Also a ton of confetti and ribbons."
Haruhi blinked. " That sounded a lot like a normal wedding." Haruhi started. " Beside me holding Rini-Chan.
"There will also be a bunny priest. Our wedding guests will also be stuffed animals, my toys and Takashi." Honey added. Haruhi let out an exhausted sigh.
" I stand corrected." Haruhi muttered while Honey chuckled.
"I'm pretty sure there was more but it was so long ago. I think I told you but you probably won't remember it."Honey said while he continued to eat.
Haruhi thought about it. True, she didn't remember him mentioning those things but she did remember him saying he'll marry her.
Yet they were children and it was so long ago. It won't make sense if he still hold on such a promise.
Then again this was Honey. He probably remembered that little promise.
"Probably." Haruhi said out loud.
"Probably?" Honey asked. Haruhi looked at him before shrugging.
"I'm just wondering if you remembered saying ….something when we were little." Haruhi said. She didn't say it again. Like that time in the limo.
She doesn't know why she avoids that.
"What did I say?" Honey asked. His warm brown eyes staring up at hers. She bit the inside of her cheek.
Should she tell him? Is it really necessary to do so?
Haruhi was going to speak up.
"HARUHI."Tamaki's loud voice could be heard. Honey, Mori and Haruhi looked across the garden. Haruhi sighed, Honey pouted and Mori didn't really show any expression.
Tamaki was waving at them behind him as the twins and Kyoya followed after him.
'Well it can't be helped?'she thought to herself. She heard someone grumpily. She didn't have to look to see it was Honey. She looked at him before petting his head. Honey blinked before looking at Haruhi. " Don't be a sourpuss, alright."
" But they are always interrupting us." He said with a pout. She smiled. " It's not funny, Haru-Chan."
" But Mori-senpai is always with us. What makes everyone else so different?" Haruhi asked.
" It's very different." He muttered. Haruhi cocked her head. She wanted to ask him what he meant but the twins put their arms around her shoulder.
Hikaru and Karou said something but she didn't really hear them.
Instead she was more focused on Honey. The pouts never really left his face as he grumpily eats his lunch.
—-
" Maybe you should have some time together. Just the both of you." Her therapist said. Haruhi looked at the woman.
Dr. Arakawa Katsumi was an older woman with short gray hair, dark brown eyes and a warm, kind smile. She wore a dark pantsuit and sat in a dark leather chair. She had a clipboard in her hands and wrote down some notes.
"But we already made plans." Haruhi said.
" But that's just to make your other friend feel better. I mean just a day for the both of you." Dr. Arakawa to her. Haruhi blinked as she looked up at the ceiling. "Don't like the idea."
" I do but we spend so much time with each other already." Haruhi said. hummed. " I spend most of my time with him at the vacation home. At the host club and lunch. Why is that so different?"
" But you were with other friends as well. Tell me, Haruhi. When was the last time you had some actual one on one time with your childhood friend? Without your other friends around?"
" Well, that was when we were at the guest house." Haruhi said. cocked her head. Haruhi smiled warmly. " He took me to a guest house that we used to play in when we were children. He said it was mostly for me to rest."
Dr. Arakawa noticed her expression and smiled at her. She took some notes. " Anything happened while you were there."
" We talked and danced. Now that I think about it. It was also when I remembered him." Dr. Arakawa hummed with interest. Haruhi's eyes lowered as looked at . " At the time I had so many emotions that it was really hard to process. I knew I was really annoyed with him."
" Why did you feel that way?" asked.
" Because he didn't tell me anything. Because he disappeared from my life and left me all alone." Haruhi said as her eyes lowered. " I wanted to get mad at him. Yell at him and ask him why he left me. I wanted to do all of that."
" Did you?" asked her. Haruhi shook her head. " Why not?"
" Because I knew he had a reason. I know he didn't want to leave me." Haruhi said while she closed her eyes. " I also think something happened that affected him too."
" What makes you say that?" Dr. Arakawa asked. Haruhi looked at her doctor for a few seconds before her eyes grew colder.
" I get nightmares. They almost feel like memories. It is always raining, cold and wet. Almost all the time I see him there. Either he's fighting a group of men, lying on the cold hard ground or running towards me." Haruhi said. Dr. Arakawa frowned. " The first time it happened, I wanted to be around him. I wanted to make sure that he was alive, that he was there."
" What did he do?" asked. Haruhi smiled a bit.
" He will stay by my his smile will look so sad. I didn't like seeing him that way. I feel like I might burden him." Haruhi whispered while she closed her eyes.
"Have you ever told him all of this?" asked her. Haruhi nodded her head. " What about the part about him leaving you?"
Haruhi shook her head. " No. I didn't. Not about those feelings. It seems bothersome. I'm sure he had a reason. We were little kids."
Dr. Arakawa nodded her head in understanding. " Very true but as a little girl you won't know that." Haruhi blinked a few times. Dr. Arakawa smiled. " I think the feeling of abandonment came from when you were separated the first time. It probably made it worse because of your memory loss."
Haruhi blinked as her eyes lowered. " That makes sense. Will it ever go away?"
" No, not truly but I could treat it the best way I can." Dr. Arakawa said with a warm smile. Haruhi nodded her head. " And you should also confine in your friends more, including your childhood friend. They appeared to adore you very much, Haruhi."
Haruhi smiled a little. " Yeah, they do."
—
After her second session, Haruhi let out a small breath. She stood outside the building while she looked at her phone. She sent a quick text to Honey then put her phone away. Her thoughts automatically went to her session and all the things she mentioned.
' I didn't think I'd talk about that.' She thought to herself. She bit her lips as she tried not to think about it too much. . ' I didn't have a panic attack or freak out.' She thought numbly to herself. ' Maybe it's because I've gotten used to it.'
Yet she really didn't feel so right inside. Maybe she said too much. She probably kept the conversation on Honey,the rest of the host club, her memories and her day.
She looked up at the gray sky to see that it was really cloudy.' I really hope it doesn't rain. I have to make dinner tonight.'
She gripped her bag and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath to try to relax. It was something that she always did to keep herself centered and calm.
Haruhi opened her eyes as she found herself in the dark. The sounds of thunder rumbled as she let out a small whimper. She crouched against herself trying to make herself as little as possible.
' Why did it have to be thunder?' She thought to herself, trying to keep calm.
" Haru-Chan, are you alright?" Honey asked as Haruhi looked at him blankly. She stared at him as he smiled sadly at her and crawled in there with her. He closed the doors behind him before going over to her.
Once he was closed enough, she automatically wrapped her arms around him. He blinked and hugged her back. " It's alright Haru-Chan. I'm right here. I'll never leave you."
The sound of thunder made them both jump. She clung onto tighter and buried her face in his shirt. He ran his hand down her back trying to calm her down . She slowly relaxed as he started humming. She sighed as she focused on his humming. She felt herself relaxed as he stroked her back.
" Haru-Chan." Honey called out. Haruhi opened her eyes as she noticed her small senior standing in front of her. She noticed the concerned look on his face as his hand cupped her cheek. " Are you alright? You feel a bit warm."
" I'm….fine. I think." She said to him. She looked at his face closely as she bit her lips. " Can we go home now?"
" Okay." He said quietly as he took her hand. He led her to the limo. She followed after him as she smiled a bit. She could tell he was probably feeling a bit uneasy. Maybe because it might rain or something.
" Honey-senpai. Do you want to stay over?" Haruhi found herself asking. Honey stopped and looked at Haruhi. He looked at her for a long while before she swallowed. " I don't want to be alone. I could make dinner and I have some ingredients for cake.
Honey gave her smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes but it was still a smile. " Okay. We could do that." He said happily.
Meanwhile, across the street. Someone took a picture of both Honey and Haruhi as they entered the limo. He couldn't quite hear what the both of them were saying but he mustn't blow his cover. He quickly took notes, the limo drove away as the man watched them go.