Chapter 12: Incite

(Leia Organa)

On my return to the Aldera palace, I summoned Han to my bed. I needed him. But more than any sexual craving, I craved the comfort of someone to hold me while I worked through the momentous events of the past few days. First Amilyn's pronouncement, then Luke stumbling into the palace gardens. Explaining to Padmé why he had to be treated outside of the palace and court, having to let her visit him all the same, swearing her to secrecy. (Worrying over whether or not she would stay her tongue.) Wondering over my brother's revelations about the terrible slaughter of the villagers at Teeba. Then, there was what he'd said about the Empire, truthfully. " They make us feel like standing by and doing nothing is moral." But it wasn't, and so many of us knew it.

Only the Empire knew how to confuse morality to the point of near—even complete—collapse. Hadn't I nearly scummed two years ago? But I hadn't. My eyes were open. I was awake, and aware, hopeful even—and yet also confused and frightened in equal measure. I couldn't see the way forward yet, though I now knew—while Luke didn't—that this was in motion, whether we liked it or not. We ought to have realized the moment we acted in any defiance of the Empire that things were in motion. And we'd headed down that road two years prior. (I wasn't exactly sure what 'things' were in motion, but I had a vague understanding even then of something large-scale and rebellious.)

Han nuzzled my neck. I buried my face in the secure heat of his chest, listening to the thud, thud, thud of his heart as the organ calmed from its accelerated pace. Here, it felt safe to think, to plan, and to reflect.

Luke wasn't the man I'd known two years ago. Though I had only been able to visit him twice so far during his recovery—today and one day before—due to duties, the change in him had become very clear very quickly. There was a certain… darkness about him now. Nothing of any consequence, of course—he was Luke, after all—but a certain darkness all the same. Something which latticed the panes of his once sunny nature, and added gravity to his handsome face, making him seem far less youthful than he had before. There was a power there, too. One I'm not even sure he saw himself. An authority of carriage and an air of strength and self-possession which radiated just under the surface of his self.

For all his current discouragement, he was very clearly a Jedi now, where once he'd seemed wholly the farmer.

Though some things hadn't changed, clearly. Such as his unwillingness to even contemplate the idea of engaging in anything bigger in nature.

"Galen Erso—? What're you talking about, Leia?"

"A friend of mine—Amilyn Holdo. She more or less runs Gatalenta. (You know, as much as anyone can run a world these days.) Anyways, she said that there's a pilot who came to her and told her that Galen Erso wants to talk to you. To give you the plans to the Death Star."

"A pilot? From what? Where?"

"From the Empire. She was from the Empire. Retired now due to a medical concern, but she was once stationed where Galen Erso was. Apparently she knew him pretty well."

"…okay."

"And he wants to talk to you, the Jedi. He—he claims he can get the updated plans of the Death Star to us—to you, since you're the one he knows of—, flaw and all."

"…yeah. Uhm. Okay. Well… that sounds a lot like a trap …"

Luke had spoken slowly to me, as though I were a small child who needed help in understanding the concept of gravity, or not crossing the street when there were ridgecrawlers going by. Tryn, who only knew the half of it, seemed more or less generally bewildered. I'd gotten mad and left.

But he wasn't wrong. It did sound like a trap. Hadn't I said as much to Amilyn? Only—

Only I'd come to realize that I couldn't believe Galen Erso would lie about this—if, indeed, it was Galen Erso who had sent the pilot at all and not the Empire itself. Oh, terrible thought! but I now had to consider that ominous possibility. We all knew how intricate the tunnels of the Imperial spy networks ran. Sometimes I suspected some of my ladies might even be spies themselves. After all, hadn't my boyfriend been one and betrayed my then unsuspecting self so cleanly?

But if I chose to believe that Galen Erso was in fact dying, and that this wasn't some complex trap by the Empire of which I had unwittingly and concerningly become a part, then I believed he wouldn't lie about wanting to get the plans to us. Even if it did sound fairly fantastic that he could pull off such a feat. ( And even then, what if the updated plans revealed that the flaw had been found and removed…?)

But I really couldn't afford to think of that. Then I might sink once again into despair, and I refused to do so. Not again. I wouldn't think of the dead villagers, or of That Creature's hunt for my brother. I would think only of what may come in next steps related to Amilyn's revelation.

The history of the so-called "Peace Star" proved complex. Though it should be noted that it wasn't presented that way by the historians of the Empire. Ironically, the Empire didn't even know much of the complex history behind it. (Thankfully.)

Or so we believed. Could it be that they'd found the flaw long ago? But—no. That didn't make sense. They would have killed Erso if they found it; and he was hailed as a hero.

The origins of the Death Star, as those of us who acknowledged the truth of genocide called it, began in the Clone Wars. The Geonosians, Separatists allied from the beginning with Count Dooku, began its construction. But it was only after the fall of the Republic and the rise of the Empire that building began in earnest. No one but the uppermost echelons of the Empire knew the station even existed—besides the contracted and enslaved workers building it, that was. By the time the galaxy at large learned of its existence, time had run out. The Death Star premiered by destroying Chandrila, then Mom Cala, and finally Paucris Major, the famed sight at which Bail Organa had been apprehended with the nascent Rebel fleet. All remaining pockets of resistance in the galaxy had lain down their arms and taken the knee to the triumphant Emperor.

And why not? What could they—we—do? They, the ill-equipped, uncohesive groups of rebellion scattered across the galaxy. Me, the Alderaanian Queen trapped in the Empire's puppeteering? The Empire could kill planets, and no large organized resistance existed. Even if it had, however, surely a station so large and vast was impenetrable to attack or destruction.

It was over. Forever.

Only—maybe not quite. Because reasoned or not, I strongly believed the fabled flaw remained. And if so, then a chance remained. And very few knew about it.

Amilyn. Me. Luke. Luke, who wouldn't consider going to get the plans.

So now… what?

I knew the answer, though it proved a stark one in the knowledge of what may follow. Now, I had to fight. Something inside me rose at this knowledge, ready to meet the challenge. Fright reared, also. The knowledge that I must live with the fact that they could come for me, for my family, and for my world at any time. Any hour. Could hurt them, hurt them all. And yet—

They already had . For what else were the shadows in Luke's eyes, the griefs held deeply within my heart, the fanaticism of my daughter, and the pain and deaths of trillions of beings subjected to tyranny but hurt done by the Empire each day?

They make us feel like it's moral to stand by and do nothing.

And they did. Until you woke up and saw. I now saw quite well.

OOO

"Han."

"Mmph."

"Han, I need you to roll over."

"Pphbtmmzz."

"Now, husband, there's no need to use that kind of language so early in the morning."

"Bfft. Mmm. Krffem." He nuzzled persistently into my neck, continuing to hold me hostage in his arms even as he had been in his sleep before. Something hot and hard stirred to life with him, poking insistently at the small of my back. It wasn't difficult to know what he wanted.

I wasn't opposed, but we couldn't now. Not when there was so much work to do. The battle of Empire Day celebrations might be over for the year, but I was just now starting the war. ( Literally .) The thought, fresh in the light of day rather than of night, somehow felt less frightening. It had been the walk through the unknown to the resolute destination which had been the worst. Now I could get to work. Even amidst the plethora of other unknowns abounding, I knew the greatest thing.

We must now fight—and we would, in the end, succeed. We must .

So, you see, I couldn't spend this morning having yet more sex with my husband—no matter how appealing the idea. I had a Rebellion to incite!

OOO

It's not that I expected Luke to just jump on board immediately. After what he'd just been through, and what he had seen of the galaxy in the past few years, I understood he would be feeling cautious and maybe even hostile to my ideas. But what I didn't expect was to be sassed out of the space. A lot of people seem to think that we just immediately coalesced in our decision to rebel, to the blazes with the rest. Those beings would be severely mistaken.

Here's how my original proposal went. After asking my brother how he felt today and getting through the usual niceties, I cut to the chase of what remained on both of our minds. "Luke: I was thinking about what you said yesterday about everything with Erso."

"Were you?"

"And I agree: it seems really out there. But I figured out how we can move forward with all of this."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I want to incite a rebellion."

His drawling voice and indolent expression were nothing short of casual. "Is that so?"

Though I felt myself flush, I kept my voice and my manner steady. "Yes. That's exactly so," I returned with queenly dignity.

"And how do you plan to incite this mass uprising against the Empire, the greatest military and political force ever known to sentient species?" He sounded entirely reasonable, which only made my fury at him burn hotter. He was mocking me!

And he was making reasonable points, points which almost quelled my will. Almost . But not quite. "I realize it sounds incredible," I agreed, shifting into formal speech, "but I am quite certain we can do it, if we work together."

"You're sure! Well then sign me up, of course! I've always wanted to had my head put on a pike." He smiled pleasantly.

What a sassy little spith he was being today! And yet, even in my anger and frustration with him, I knew he may prove the easiest ally to convince in all this. That said something about the road ahead. Yet I refused to yield to my brother's attitude today. He needed to hear and understand

—and he needed to stop avoiding my gaze like that.

I thought, really thought of what he'd just said. I've always wanted to have my head put on a spike. I mean, that could be our fates, but—"What is it, Luke?"

"Nothing."

Yeah. Well, that convinced me. I arched an eyebrow, and then waited for him to just come out with it.

"I just… I can't help you, Leia," he uttered. "I'm sorry."

"Thranta druk."

"I mean it. I can't! You haven't seen what I've seen! We can't go against the Empire. If we try, we'll lose , and so will everyone else." His eyes were hunted. "And I'm… kriff . I don't think I'm going to be around much longer anyways."

"What does that mean?"

"It means… he knows."

A chill seeped into my core that had no origin in the balmy day. "—who?"

"You know who. And he's coming for me."

It took me a moment to find my words. Visions of two years ago flashed sickeningly through my mind. Finally, I asked, "Didn't you expect that?"

"Guess so."

"Then I don't understand you," I uttered. "One day you want to do something—for two years we have been—and the next day you refuse."

" Something , Leia. Helping. Doing in secret and in quiet. But now, people… they're dead , because of me, and the secrecy is gone. If we keep going, more people will end up dead—"

"—or you will?" I retorted.

"It's not about me!" Luke yelled. My jaw dropped open at the sudden display of violence. His voice turned hushed, ragged; he clenched his fist hard. "It's about everyone else. We never should've set down this road. We should've realized… the minute we did anything to defy the Empire… people would end up dead—"

"You're right." I sounded incredibly calm. I suddenly felt incredibly calm. "They will. Life in this galaxy won't get better just because we all will it to do so. We will have to wade through blood, and we will know loss. We must all be stronger! Stop blaming yourself. A few people deserve the blame, and none of them are here. This is our chance. Our hope . I agree: we headed on this path two years ago, whether we realized it or not.

"And if you won't fight with me… I'll find others who will."

Luke looked away, stricken with conflict. "I can't," he whispered, voice fragile as cracking eggshells.

I wished I could call him a coward. But I couldn't call him one any more than I could call myself one, or my parents ones. He was morally upstanding and entirely created of compassion, bravery, and honor. A hero. Maybe that's why we didn't get along or agree on this, because I sure wasn't one. Maybe what we needed wasn't heroes, but villains, to counter the greatest the galaxy had ever seen.

I stepped away from his bedside.

"Think about it," I urged, attempting to soften my tone. "I'll return in a few days. After that we should make a decision."

"Meaning you'll take action no matter what I decide." He spoke quietly, but his eyes snapped with a keen knowing.

I said, "Take care of yourself, Luke."

OOO

I hadn't shown it to my brother, but the whole confrontation with him left me feeling immensely discouraged. I knew well the principles of leadership. One could be as fine a leader as you ever had, but with no one to follow, you might as well be shouting into the wind. That was me: Queen Shouting.

I might have realized the greater truth that while the Empire hurt us more by itself on its own terms than it ever could on ours, few would be willing to risk all nevertheless. People didn't like leaving the illusion of the secure for the unknown, even if the "secure" was torturous. Even fewer would actually rebel with me. Not with the Death Star intact, at least. Even without it… I didn't know. I just didn't know. My hopeful optimism of the morning seemed to have drained out of me entirely, leaving me sneering and cynical as to my grand plans.

New Republic. Right . I might as well prophecy that Darth Vader would be dead within the year. —Wouldn't that be something? If he did just die? Then Luke would be safe. Or maybe Luke could take Vader himself? I'd never seen my brother in action, but he had stood up to three Inquisitors, no mean feat. But when I imagined Vader, that mountain of terror, facing Luke who had never been an especially tall or muscular man for all his apparent strength in the Force… I knew a trembling.

And now he was coming after him .

Maybe Luke was right. Maybe the cost was too high. But even so… we'd already gotten into the grocery line.

I lay down on my bed, thorough in my misery. So swiftly and wholly did my thoughts smoke out all else that I failed to notice his entry until he was beside me, taking my hand, sliding onto the mattress next to me.

My attendants and the guards weren't supposed to let him in unless I requested it. But for once I was glad for the breech of protocol and queenly privilege. I took comfort in his embrace, smelling the sweet scents of spice and engine grease that always seemed to cling to him even after all these years as a prince. He stroked my hair, comforting me even though he had no idea what had so upset me. Loving. True. This was my husband, who I loved.

I only wished, desperately, that I felt I could trust him with all of this. But no matter how I wanted to, no matter how much it hurt… I just didn't feel that way.

I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back, and so we finished what we hadn't this morning.

Afterwards, he left, having some commitment to Padmé. Leilanna knew he wouldn't miss that for any snuggle time. I had duties; I needed to rise. But I stayed there for a while, letting everything coalesce inside of me. Luke's refusal hurt, but I refused to let him repulse my ideas a second time as he had a few years ago. I had meant what I said: Life won't get better just because we wish it to be so. We will have to wade through blood, and we will know loss. We must all be stronger .

I needed to be stronger, and firmer. No more wavering. I wouldn't let anyone pull me from the determination of my course. My courage must come from within myself—and it did . I didn't know much of the Force myself, and though I believed it existed, I had never spent much time within its embrace. But now, I gave this over.

Help me , I asked. Guide me. Preserve me . For I knew the work ahead would be long.

I rose, something set and hard forming within me, like so much crystal at my heart center. I won't fail you , I silently promised my parents. I'm not afraid.

OOO

A/N: Please let me know your thoughts! Also, the quote Leia says to Luke and later thinks of is adapted from 'White Queen', so credit to there.

PS. You may have noticed I changed the rating back from 'M' to 'T'. As I wrote further (and better understood the ratings) I realized this was more T-level material. Thanks for your patience as I figured that out.

Warmest wishes,
Hope