Chapter 5 Falling apart.
Buffy sat listening to the gang and the potentials arguing about fighting strategy but her mind lay elsewhere. "So, what do you think Buff?" Xander asked looking at her. "Huh." she said snapping back into reality, "sorry.I just.I can't do this right now." She got up and walked out of the room. She walked up the stairs into her room and sat in a corner feeling overwhelmed; she began to cry into her hands. "What's wrong, love?" Spike said walking up, stopping at the door. He had a look of sincere worry on his face. She looked up at him with lines down her cheek from her make-up, "Nothing.please just go away." He walked into the room and kneeled before her, "Come on, love, since when have I left when told to." Her tears streamed down her face harder and she through herself into a hug with him, ".Spike.I.I," she sobbed, "I can't do this." "It's ok, pet," he said a little taken aback, ".I'm here." She sobbed into his shoulder. Spike's eyes tearing up a little too, "I'll always be here." Xander walked up to the door to check on Buffy but stopped at the sight of her and Spike. He stared for a minute and then turned slowly and walked downstairs. "Was Buffy ok?" Willow asked when he walked back down to them. "No." he said sadly, "I don't think she ever was."
Buffy woke up on her bed; someone had taken off her shoes for her and tucked her in. She began to remember the happenings of that night. She had cried for what seemed like an eternity then she fell asleep in Spike's arms, again. "The dead have arisen," Spike said from a chair in the corner, she had not noticed him due to lack of eye sight, her eyes where red and swollen and stinged slightly. "Look who's talking," she said sitting up, "Sorry about last night, I guess everything finally got to me." "Don't fret, love," he replied, "I'd have been worried about you if it hadn't." She smiled slightly, "Thank you, Spike," she said, her eyes softening, "I couldn't have done any of this without you." "Yeah you could've," he said, "You got Willow and the whelp, and you can't forget Giles and niblit." "Yeah, but you're just as important to me as them. You're my strength, don't get me wrong I love the others, but you were always the one who gave me the strength to keep going.and I'm sorry, I love you," Buffy replied standing up and walking over to Spike, "but I'm not in love with you." She had tears in her eyes as she said it, "I wish I could be.and I don't know why I'm not.but I just can't." "I know you don't." he said tears in his eyes, "I guess I.I guess I always knew."
Later on the two sat in the living room with the scoobies as Dawn and the potentials slept; Spike leaned against a wall and Buffy sat on the couch. They were both avoiding eye contact with the other. Buffy stared at her coke on the table and Spike stared at the floor, they both where thinking of the things said earlier that day. They all sat, an awkward, uneasy silence falling over them.
Buffy sat listening to the gang and the potentials arguing about fighting strategy but her mind lay elsewhere. "So, what do you think Buff?" Xander asked looking at her. "Huh." she said snapping back into reality, "sorry.I just.I can't do this right now." She got up and walked out of the room. She walked up the stairs into her room and sat in a corner feeling overwhelmed; she began to cry into her hands. "What's wrong, love?" Spike said walking up, stopping at the door. He had a look of sincere worry on his face. She looked up at him with lines down her cheek from her make-up, "Nothing.please just go away." He walked into the room and kneeled before her, "Come on, love, since when have I left when told to." Her tears streamed down her face harder and she through herself into a hug with him, ".Spike.I.I," she sobbed, "I can't do this." "It's ok, pet," he said a little taken aback, ".I'm here." She sobbed into his shoulder. Spike's eyes tearing up a little too, "I'll always be here." Xander walked up to the door to check on Buffy but stopped at the sight of her and Spike. He stared for a minute and then turned slowly and walked downstairs. "Was Buffy ok?" Willow asked when he walked back down to them. "No." he said sadly, "I don't think she ever was."
Buffy woke up on her bed; someone had taken off her shoes for her and tucked her in. She began to remember the happenings of that night. She had cried for what seemed like an eternity then she fell asleep in Spike's arms, again. "The dead have arisen," Spike said from a chair in the corner, she had not noticed him due to lack of eye sight, her eyes where red and swollen and stinged slightly. "Look who's talking," she said sitting up, "Sorry about last night, I guess everything finally got to me." "Don't fret, love," he replied, "I'd have been worried about you if it hadn't." She smiled slightly, "Thank you, Spike," she said, her eyes softening, "I couldn't have done any of this without you." "Yeah you could've," he said, "You got Willow and the whelp, and you can't forget Giles and niblit." "Yeah, but you're just as important to me as them. You're my strength, don't get me wrong I love the others, but you were always the one who gave me the strength to keep going.and I'm sorry, I love you," Buffy replied standing up and walking over to Spike, "but I'm not in love with you." She had tears in her eyes as she said it, "I wish I could be.and I don't know why I'm not.but I just can't." "I know you don't." he said tears in his eyes, "I guess I.I guess I always knew."
Later on the two sat in the living room with the scoobies as Dawn and the potentials slept; Spike leaned against a wall and Buffy sat on the couch. They were both avoiding eye contact with the other. Buffy stared at her coke on the table and Spike stared at the floor, they both where thinking of the things said earlier that day. They all sat, an awkward, uneasy silence falling over them.