Four months of house arrest and she had officially lost it. She'd borne her sentence with grace at first. Serena and Jenny had moved back into the penthouse, and she was thrilled to have them. To see her daughters finally getting along after their seemingly never-ending Cold War was a joy not even house arrest could interfere with. Blair visited often: they barely discussed Charles, but there was something comforting about spending time with her. Wrong as it may be, they missed him, spent nights worrying about him, and that was an understanding that only the two of them shared. Blair and Serena had thrown themselves into their studies, and Lily had pulled every string she could to get Parsons to accept a late submission from Jenny. Even when confined to her sofa, she was still more powerful than the average woman. In just one month Jenny and Eric would be at school: life would continue on for everyone except her. She hated that she couldn't visit Charles, but she was also relieved the choice had been made for her. She wanted Serena and Jenny to know they had her full support, that their comfort would always be their priority. It still kept her up at night, thinking about what she had unknowingly put her daughter through. They discussed it often: why Serena hadn't felt safe enough to tell anyone, how to ensure that wasn't the case in the future. And Lily knew she had to take some responsibility: she had often blamed Serena for her relationships with men, rather than taking into consideration how vulnerable her daughter was, how trusting. She could understand why Serena had been afraid to tell her, and it broke her heart.

So yes, the first few months had been filled with growth. She had even found the girls therapists, a detail she knew her mother would detest. But she was tired of ordering takeout. Of watching the same movies because God forbid Blair watch anything that did not star Audrey Hepburn. She was even tired of online shopping, and that was setting off several alarm bells. Plus, she still had another five months to get through. And the worst part of it all was this bizarre craving for apple juice that had suddenly consumed her. That, if memory served, meant her next five months of house arrest might be about to get even more complicated.

Blair wasn't sure why she was here. There was enough going on in her life. School had become much more difficult once she and Serena had decided to actually apply themselves. Then there was the therapist Lily had insisted on – an inappropriate suggestion, considering she was a grown-up and Lily was most certainly not her mother, but it was difficult to say no to a woman on house arrest. The therapist who had dared to suggest that she struggled with codependency and even self-sabotage. How could she be so accomplished at such a young age if she was a self-saboteur? Yes, there was losing Yale, which technically only happened because of her insistence on destroying Ms. Carr. And there was the way she had taken on too much at W, making it impossible for her to continue working her dream job. And finally, there was Chuck. Apparently, her whole relationship with Chuck exemplified that she did not believe she was worthy of being loved. According to this therapist, love is not being sold for a hotel, or repeatedly dumped, or compared to a horse. Saying "I love you" shouldn't be considered a game, or dangerous, or used as a manipulation tool. She was very judgy, this Dr. Twine, but according to Serena, everything she was saying made a lot of sense (they obviously had different therapists – they weren't that incestuous). So Blair had reluctantly obeyed when Dr. Twine suggested she cease dating for a year; supposedly that was how long it would take to rebuild her self-esteem.

So, since she couldn't possibly be here for romantic reasons, then it seemed she was standing outside Dan Humphrey's door because she, ew, missed her friend. He answered the door as she was walking away, refusing to knock more than once for someone who insisted on living in Brooklyn.

"Blair." Something inside her calmed when she heard his voice. It had been four months since she had seen him – she made sure to time her visits with the van der Humphreys when she knew he wasn't there. He looked exhausted: his plaid shirt was rumpled and his hair was a mess and sleep crusted his eyes and yet it felt oddly good to see him.

"It's 11AM Humphrey. Why do you look like you just woke up?"

"I never went to bed."

Her eyebrows raised several inches. "I didn't take you for much of a party animal."

"I was writing – Look, Blair, I haven't heard from you in four months."

"I've been busy."

And then there was a silence. Because they both knew what those three words meant. They meant: Chuck's in a rehab and he mostly went there because of me and I unbanished your sister who I should have never banished in the first place and I'm sorry for all of it but also every second is agony without him.

"I've been worried about you." She refused to smile, even though she wanted to. To smile at his stupid, predictable concern. At how he could spend four months annoyed with her and yet forgive her so quickly. To smile at how very Humphrey he was.

"Are you going to let me in or not? Your host skills are seriously lacking."

He chuckled as he waved her in, grateful that this particular sweet, slightly evil girl had reentered his life. It was starting to get unbearably boring without her.

She had to ask Larissa to buy the test. She waited until everyone was gone: Eric and Jenny had gone to the movies and Serena was at therapy and Rufus was at yet another one of his Panic meetings. She instructed her to conceal even the contents of the bag from Vanya: once news reached Dorota, it had a way of reaching everyone. She didn't have any particular symptoms to speak of, just a craving for juice and a skipped period she had assumed was the result of stress due to not being able to breathe in fresh air or attend a single party. She was certain she was done having children, what with a total of six to her name (three she had birthed: an experience only being stupidly young could make bearable). She was certain the whole idea was the product of an abundance of caution and having far too much time on her hands, until two pink lines showed up on a stick. And then on three more sticks, making it clear she was not just pregnant but without a doubt pregnant, which threw an unexpected wrench into both her life and this whole house arrest thing.

By some miracle, it was Rufus who came home first. Rufus who found her pacing in their bedroom, hiding from the sheer amount of children who lived in her home after discovering there was one in her body she would not be able to hide from for many more months.

"Lil?" She could hear the concern in her husband's voice, and it annoyed her. His very presence annoyed her, partly because he had done this to her, but mostly because if this child had belonged to any of her other husbands, there was no way she would be even considering keeping it.

"Could you please call the DA and very kindly explain to him that while I understand I'm on house arrest, I need to see a doctor as soon as humanly possible?" It was always difficult to tell whether his wife was being wildly irrational or remarkably logical, and he preferred to gauge the temperature before he could assess which world they were living in.

"Why do you need to see a doctor?"

"Because I'm pregnant and had cancer a year ago and I'm also forty-one which I believe makes this a geriatric pregnancy so I think crossing my fingers and waiting out the next five months won't pan out terribly well for me." She continued pacing as she spoke, her blonde hair framing her shoulders, which she typically wore down in times of stress.

"You're pregnant?"

"Larissa bought four tests while you were out. All four were positive, so yes, I am most certainly pregnant." She finally looked him in the eye as she finished her last sentence, wearing her trademark exasperated smirk, but he knew her well enough to read her eyes instead. Eyes that were so clearly terrified not just of his reaction, but of the possibility of something happening to this baby, who she had come to care for at some point during all the pacing. It was when her eye met his that she stopped, exhausted, and silently begged him to make this better.

Rufus didn't necessarily have many skills – his music was fine and his parenting of Jenny had more than occasionally missed the mark and he needed to diversify his breakfast menu, but he was remarkably good at knowing his wife. They'd been aware of it since they were seventeen: the complicated, reckless Lily Rhodes who had every rock star tripping over his feet to win her over and yet settled for the guy with shaggy hair and a kind smile who never asked her to be anyone but herself. Rufus needed to do three things to calm his wife when she told him she was carrying their second child. First, he pulled her into his arms, placing a reassuring kiss on her temple. They stayed like that for minutes, her breathing him in – the comfort of this man she loved who had always been there and would always be here. Then he took her hand in his and called their family doctor, the one he insisted they start seeing after the William debacle, and asked her to make a house call tomorrow, instructing her to please bring a portable ultrasound. And finally, he let Lily know that whatever choice she made, he would fully support her. That what mattered to him, more than anything, was her. And that was when he finally felt her relax, because even though she had already decided she was doing everything in her power to keep this baby, they both needed him to say what he did to know she was forgiven for Scott. To know that this experience would be a brand new one, free of resentments and baggage and history, one they would finally get to enjoy together. It was after that simple, loving statement that she finally kissed him, terrified of the future they were committing to, and yet unbearably excited.

Oddly, it was Dan who took it the hardest. Lily had braced herself for Serena or Jenny to be upset, but they both squealed so loudly she was once again grateful they didn't have neighbors. Eric was relieved he had committed to Sarah Lawrence, that way he could spend time with his new sibling. They had even told Scott over Skype, who was so thrilled he finally agreed to a visit after a year of putting off their requests. The jury was out on how Chuck factored into this family: it's quite the challenge when your adopted son has tried to rape both of your daughters. Lily decided it was better not to interrupt his time at the facility or interfere with his recovery. The news would have to wait. Perhaps it was the recency of Milo that made this so challenging for Dan. He had abruptly left after they shared their announcement over family dinner, a move so uncharacteristic that Rufus spent days strumming his guitar to process. Lily asked her daughter whether Dan had expressed feelings for her again, but according to Serena, that door was more closed now than ever. But she had an idea about how to get him on board, one Lily knew better than to question...

This time, Blair didn't knock politely. She pounded on the door until he opened it, frustrated with himself for agreeing to be friends with Blair Waldorf.

"We're going to the theatre."

"Blair, you can't just show up here. What if I had plans?" She didn't need words to answer that question, a well-timed eyebrow raise was sufficient.

"It's a great play. It's all about how being a selfish asshole doesn't just destroy the people you love, it does a number on you too."

"Wait, are you talking about the new Hamlet at BAM?"

"The only sensible reason anyone would be caught dead in Brooklyn, yes."

"You've been coming to Brooklyn a lot lately."

"Did I ever say I was sensible? Vite! The show's at 8 and I need to find something edible to eat first." She pushed past Dan into the loft, scouring the fridge before the door had even closed. "Baking soda, bread and mayonnaise. Are you sure you're your father's son?" Dan rolled his eyes, scanning Seamless on his phone.

"Vinegar Hill delivers. What do you want?" She quickly snatched the phone from his hand, eyes scouring the menu.

"You realize you can't go to the theatre dressed like that, don't you?" He knew better than to protest, heading straight to his room to change into one of the countless dress shirts he had acquired since he had gotten himself involved with Serena van der Woodsen and all the characters that came along with her. "Since your taste buds are painfully predictable, I took the liberty of ordering for you."

"How kind of you." He was in the bathroom shaving, the door standing wide open, and she tried to ignore how nicely he cleaned up, his navy blue shirt complimenting her dress perfectly.

"So why are you being so weird about this baby thing?" She could see his jaw stiffen and held her breath, hoping she wasn't about to make things worse.

"Did my Dad send you?"

"Serena. You didn't answer my question."

"I seem to recall you freaking out when you thought your mom and Cyrus were having a baby."

"Fair." He was good at calling her out: never too aggressive, but not weak either. Just (mostly) accurate. "But I thought you were supposed to be the mature one."

"Maybe I'm tired of being so predictable." She looked down at the floor, feeling slightly guilty for all the ways she had spent years making fun of him. Only slightly.

"I thought you liked Lily."

"I love Lily."

"So what is it? You miss Milo? Because I can call Georgina and tell her to bring that baby straight to Brooklyn." She could see him debating whether or not to tell her the truth. Whether it was worth opening up to her, and she didn't blame him.

"My Dad's whole life was us. He was always there when we needed him, barely spent time with Mom, which looking back, probably wasn't great. He loves Lily. And since Jenny came back, he calls less, and he doesn't visit as much which I get, Lily's on house arrest, I can visit, but when I heard about this kid, this kid he's having with the love of his life, I guess I just…"

"You're worried he's going to love that kid more than you."

"I'm worried I'm going to be twenty years old and jealous of a baby for having parents who are actually in love with each other. And yeah. I guess I'm worried he'll be done with me."

"Your Dad couldn't be done with you if he tried. He's addicted to worrying about you. He should be celebrating this pregnancy, but instead he's moping around the penthouse, depressed you're not returning his calls. And Lily's so stressed she had Serena send me here to figure out how to make her house arrest pregnancy easier for you. You van der Humphreys are the most intense nuclear family that's ever existed. They're only going to get worse when that baby comes. It'll be family brunch like five times a day."

And Dan had to smile at that, the final line of stubble erased from his smooth jawline. Those four months of celibacy were really doing a number on her if she was noticing Humphrey's smooth jawline.

"Oh and I lied. We're seeing the show next week. Tonight, your Dad's making his famous chili, which I'm going to ingest purely as a favor to my best friend."

"You had me change my clothes for chili at my Dad's?"

"I had you change your clothes because they were hideous." And with that, she picked up her purse and exited, with Dan running to catch up to her. A growing pattern he hated to admit he could see himself getting used to.