Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.
One could say that the rest of the day passed more or less without incident for the Igarashi family.
One would be a liar.
"Are you sure you're up for this, Cousin Giffrey?" Ikki asked as the family boarded the Realizing Coaster, having been able to cut to the line thanks to their VIP passes, much to the outrage of some of the other parkgoers who'd been waiting in line for literal hours. Lovekov, who had been unable to come with them on account of being much too short to ride, glared at them jealously from outside, angrily eating some cotton candy as Astarte loyally stayed behind to keep her company. "You've never been on a roller coaster before, they can be pretty tough for first timers."
"Or veterans, for that matter," Genta added.
Sakura nodded. "Daiji can't even look at this coaster without turning green."
"Ha, wimp," Vice sneered.
"That will not happen to me," Giff scoffed as the safety bar lowered and their cars, shaped and colored to resemble the Rising Hopper (Realize Ver.) Progrise Key, slowly began to ride up the slope of the first hill. "I am, after all, a descendent of the mighty Giff, whose superior genes will allow me to withstand any-"
Five minutes later, Giff found himself vomiting rather noisily into a trashcan while everyone else looked at him sympathetically and Ikki patted him on the back. "You okay?" He asked.
Giff dry heaved a few more times, coughed, stood up, and wiped his mouth on the back of his arm.
Then he turned around and said, "I want to go again."
Everyone cheered, except for an irate Lovekov, and George, who was trying to collect as many samples of Giff's sick as he could before the garbage can could fully dissolve into a toxic puddle.
Dozens of people alternately cheered or groaned as two massive robots vaguely resembling mammoths duked it out in an arena, one clearly dominating the other.
"Come on, Ikki! You can do it!" Genta cheered his son as Ikki frantically button mashed the controller for one of the immense Gigers.
Ikki's mecha took a swing at the other robot, which easily dodged it and delivered a powerful uppercut to the Giger which knocked it off its feet and sent it crashing to the ground.
"Okay, maybe not," Genta admitted, grimacing.
"How are you so bad at this?! We transform into a mammoth sometimes!" An exasperated Vice shouted at Ikki.
"I'd like to see you do better!" Ikki snapped, struggling to get his robot back to its feet, only for his opponent to smack him back down and start T-bagging him.
"Fine, I will!" Vice snatched the controller and started fiddling around with it.
The Giger lurched to its feet, removed one of its tusks, and started stabbing itself in the crotch repeatedly.
Laughter and groans filled the arena.
Everyone glared at Vice.
"This thing is clearly defective," Vice declared, throwing the controller away, forcing Ikki to frantically grab it before it could hit the ground.
"Nice try, loser!" The player controlling the other robot, a sneering brat who had to be less than half Ikki's age, taunted as his mecha grabbed Ikki's by the wrist and started ramming its fist into its face repeatedly. "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!"
"Come on, Ikki, I put good money on you winning this! Don't let me down!" Sakura yelled.
"You bet on me?!" Ikki cried.
"We all did," Yukimi assured him.
"Yes, because we all have faith in you!" Tamaki told him brightly.
"Actually I bet on the other guy," George said cheerfully. Everyone gave him disgusted looks. "What? He's the regional champ! Ikki is totally outmatched!"
Georgina shook her head in disappointment. "Ook."
The kid blew a raspberry at Ikki then started smacking his rear in his direction while controlling his robot one-handed, not even bothering to look as it continued brutalizing Ikki's mecha. "You should just give up now while you have the chance, old man! You don't stand a chance against my awesome Kuroto Dan-given talents! I'm gonna fuck you up as badly as your fat ugly whore mother did when she decided not to abort your retarded faggot ass in the womb!"
The Igarashis gasped in outrage at this utterly vile trash talk. Sakura quickly covered a dismayed Lovekov's ears.
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ABOUT MY WIFE THAT WAY!" Genta roared.
"While I have many regrets in life, having my son is not one of them!" Yukimi yelled angrily.
"She saved those for her second son," George agreed, earning a glare from Yukimi.
"Yeah, and Ikki's not retarded! Just an annoying busybody!" A furious Sakura added.
"And he's BI, not gay, you son of a bitch!" Vice shouted.
"What? No I'm not," Ikki protested in confusion.
"No, you absolutely are, trust me on this," Vice insisted.
"Young man, what would your parents think of you using such language?" Azuma demanded angrily.
"Fuck him up, son! Fuck him up as badly as his fat ugly whore mother did when she decided not to abort his retarded faggot ass in the womb!" A man nearby bearing a very strong resemblance to the brat cheered.
Azuma grimaced in distaste.
Giff slowly raised a hand, red energy forming in it.
Astarte grabbed him by the wrist. "Giffrey, no, you can't kill a child just for being obnoxious!"
"I'm pretty sure I can," he replied.
"Well, yes, obviously you can, but you shouldn't," she insisted. "Hiden Land is supposed to be a place for smiles, remember?"
Giff considered this for a moment. "You're right," he said.
Astarte sighed in relief.
Then Giff pointed and yelled, "LOOK OVER THERE, IT'S A WILD TIGER! AND IT'S ON FIRE!"
Immediately, everyone turned to look at where he was indicating, startling a HumaGear mascot dressed like Zero-One Flaming Tiger. While everyone was distracted, Giff quickly fired an energy blast at the other Giger, blowing its head off. "Oh, sorry, false alarm."
Rolling his eyes and muttering about how the whole family was full of retards, the brat tried to resume fighting… Only to blink in confusion when the robot wouldn't respond to his commands. "What the… Where did the head go?!"
"Look, Ikki! Your opponent's robot has conveniently malfunctioned! Quickly, take advantage of his weakness and finish him off!" Giff commanded.
"I don't know, I'm not sure I feel comfortable winning like that-" Ikki started.
"FINISH HIM!" His family and at least half of the arena shouted.
Caving in to peer pressure, Ikki entered a series of commands, causing his Giger to rush forward, grab the unresponsive enemy mecha by the waist, and fling it into the air. It then removed its remaining tusk blade and thrusted upwards as the other robot fell, impaling it on the blade and cutting deeply into its torso as it slid back down towards the ground, nearly bisecting it. As the enemy mecha collapsed to the ground, Ikki's robot threw its blade away, grabbed its opponent by the shoulders, and pulled in opposite directions, taking advantage of the previous cut to rip the Giger's upper body in two, hurling the halves away and turning its back to its fallen adversary as it exploded, releasing a triumphant roar similar to an elephant's trumpet.
The arena was filled with cheers and shouts, both good and bad. The Igarashis embraced Ikki and hoisted him on their shoulders as Giff smiled proudly.
The brat's jaw dropped in disbelief. His father put a hand on his shoulder and said, "I'm disowning you."
Giff, wearing a tactical combat vest with several large glowing sensors on it and the A.I.M.S. logo, glanced around warily as he cautiously wandered through the dim, poorly lit hallway, fog from a smoke machine rolling across the floor, a modified ShotRiser held in both hands, finger on the trigger. He had been separated from his squad and was deep in enemy territory. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but apparently he wasn't allowed to use his powers here because that would totally ruin the fun for everyone else, which he thought was rather unfair, but grudgingly agreed to abide by for by now.
His eyes narrowed behind his dark glasses, his superior vision able to see everything around him clear as day. His target was here somewhere. He just had to be careful not to run into any enemy forces-
There was a loud buzzing noise, and suddenly all the sensors on his vest flashed.
Dammit.
"Gotcha!" A sneering brat – probably not the same one from the robot fight, but Giff couldn't be sure, all humans looked the same to him – also wearing a vest but in a different color crowed, pointing his ShotRiser at him.
"And I will get you as soon as my armor resets-" Giff started, only to hear another buzz as he got shot from behind by another member of the enemy team. "Oh come on, that's not fair!"
The horrible imps, creatures far more diabolical than any demons Giff had ever created, laughed and continued shooting him, not even giving his vest time to recharge before zapping him again and scoring more points. For some reason, the one in front of him kept firing his harmless ShotRiser at the space between his legs. "Why do you keep shooting me there?" He asked, bewildered. "There are no sensors there."
"Because it's your crotch!" The boy laughed uproariously, as if this were the funniest thing he'd ever heard.
"Yes. What of it?" Giff asked, failing to understand.
The boy hesitated before firing again, giving him a confused look. "It's your crotch. You know, where your penis is?"
"I don't have a penis."
Now the other boy stopped shooting as well. "Your… Vagina?" The first boy asked, looking uncertain.
Giff grimaced, thinking again of his idol. "I don't have one of those either."
Both boys stared at him blankly. "Then… What do you have down there?" The second boy asked warily.
"Absolutely nothing. Why, do both of you have something there?" Giff asked in genuine curiosity.
"… Yes? Everyone does!" The first boy insisted, although he didn't look entirely certain now.
"Really? Fascinating. I was not aware of that," Giff marveled. He hesitated. "Wait, by everyone, do you mean everyone? As in all of humanity?"
"… Yes?" The second boy said hesitantly.
Shit! Had he just outed himself by accident?
He sighed, preparing to open a portal to banish these children. Their parents wouldn't miss them, right? They could always make more, after all. Preferably better behaved ones.
Fortunately for the unwitting brats, they were spared a horrible fate when another member of their team poked their head around the corner. "Hey guys, we got another one of the other team pinned down! She's trapped and totally helpless and crying for her mommy! Want to go pick on her?"
"Would we!" The other boys cried in excitement, completely forgetting about Giff and running after their compatriot.
Giff sighed in relief. That was close-
Wait.
Crying for her mommy?
The indefinable substance flowing through his body instead of blood heated up. (It couldn't freeze, it was actually subzero already.)
They were talking about Lovekov.
His body moved on its own, chasing after the horrible boys through the labyrinth of the A.I.M.S. laser tag arena. Other members of the opposing team kept popping out of their hiding places to shoot at him, only for them to be reflexively blasted by his ShotRiser the moment he detected motion, rushing past them before their vests stopped buzzing.
Up ahead, he could hear laughter, taunts, jeers, and the horrible, gut wrenching sound of the most perfect, precious, innocent little demon in the world crying and begging for them to stop and wailing for her mother to save her.
Sakura wasn't here.
Cousin Giffrey was.
He barged into yet another dim, smoky room, and found half a dozen children – and teenagers! – Surrounding a sobbing Lovekov who was trapped in the far corner, laughing and mocking her as they kept shooting her repeatedly, not caring whether or not they were able to score any points, exulting in the thrill of being able to lord their power over someone smaller and weaker than themselves.
It was…
It was almost exactly like it had been all those thousands of years ago. Yes, their weapons were nonlethal this time, but the target of their ire was just as helpless, just as frightened, just as desperate for salvation.
Well.
Unlike all those thousands of years ago, this time he'd made it in time to answer her prayers.
Seeing red, he extended a hand, and a portal opened behind the bullies. A trio of True Gifftarians reached out, grabbed the scum of the earth by the backs of their vests, and pulled them back into the subdimension, Giff immediately closing the portal behind them. Dear sweet Lovekov didn't need to hear their screams.
He rushed forwards and quickly wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay," he told her. "It's okay. They're gone. They can't hurt you anymore."
"G-Great grandpa Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiff!" Lovekov wailed, sobbing into his shoulder. "Th-they were so mean! I-I got lost, and ran into those meanies a-and they kept shooting me and calling me names and-and they laughed when I begged him to stop and I want, I want Mommy and Mama and Astarte and grandma and grandpa and uncle Ikki and-and even stupid uncle Vice!"
"Don't worry, Lovekov," Giff assured her, not even realizing she'd called him by his real name. "We'll find them together."
Picking her up, he carried her out of the room. He quickly ran into more members of the enemy team, but just like before, he paid almost no attention to them, blasting them with his ShotRiser without even looking, focusing more on holding Lovekov tight to his chest and comforting her as they wandered through the maze in search of the rest of their family.
After a while, her full on sobs degenerated into sniffles, and she whimpered, "I'm sorry I'm so weak."
"What? You aren't weak," Giff said, startled. "When Sakura uses the God Dragon Vistamp-"
"Yeah, but that's only when she uses it," Lovekov pointed out. "Unless mommy uses a Vistamp to turn me into a weapon, I'm almost completely helpless. Not like uncle Vice or grandpa Vail. They can fight on their own. And I'm nowhere near as strong as Astarte!" She sniffled, tearing up again. "I don't know why she still wants to date me when I'm not in my sexy older form. The rest of the time I'm just a short fat snake thing. She deserves better, love."
"Astarte has lived a long time and loved many, and take it from me, she doesn't make mistakes when it comes to her partners," Giff insisted. "If she wants to be with you, it's because there's something about you that she deems worthy of love, no matter what form you take. And so what if you're chubby? That makes you eminently huggable! And back in the day, being fat was often seen as a good thing, given how scarce food could be!"
"Then you do think I'm fat?!" She cried.
"I think you're perfect just the way you are, and so do your mothers," Giff said quickly, fearing he'd misspoken. "All of us love you for you, Lovekov. And hey, so what if you need Vistamps to fight effectively? So do your uncle and grandfather! Without Vistamps, your uncle wouldn't be able to fight as equals alongside Ikki, and your grandfather would've died ages ago without the use of Vistamps to stabilize his dying body. You're still a big help to your mother and everyone else in battle, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself!"
"… Thanks, great-grandpa Giff. I love you," Lovekov squeaked, hugging him.
Giff stumbled and nearly dropped her. "I… I love you too, Lovekov."
Thankfully, it didn't take them much longer to find the rest of the Igarashis after that, who had clearly whipped themselves up in a frenzy trying to find the missing Lovekov. "LOVEKOV!" Sakura shouted, eyes wide when she saw Giff approach with her daughter.
"MOMMY!" Lovekov wailed, reaching her stubby arms out for her mother, who ripped her away from Giff and hugged her tight, both of them crying in relief. Hana and Astarte immediately joined their embrace, while everyone else sighed in relief, the tension ebbing from them.
"Where did you find her?" Genta asked Giff. "We've been looking everywhere!"
"She must've gotten lost and wound up behind enemy lines, just like me," Giff informed him. "Wait, were you looking for me, too?"
Everyone exchanged uncomfortable looks. "Uhhh…"
"We knew you could handle yourself," Ikki said quickly.
"Oh! Thank you for thinking so highly of me," Giff replied happily. "Anyway, she was being bullied by the most awful children when I found her. I taught them all a lesson they'll never forget!"
"You… You didn't kill them, did you?" Tamaki asked anxiously.
Giff laughed. "What? No, of course not! Death is too good for them."
Before anyone could even begin to process that, Lovekov broke away from her mothers and girlfriend and glomped Giff. "Great-grandpa Giff, thank you so much for saving me!" She cried, looking up at him with sparkling eyes. "You're my hero!"
Her.
Her hero?
Giff felt rather lightheaded.
Had anyone ever called him their hero?
Much to his surprise, Sakura hugged him next. "Thank you so much, Giffrey," she whispered. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
"I… I was… I was just trying to help," he mumbled awkwardly. "The minute I thought she might be in trouble, my body, it just… It just moved on its own."
Ikki smiled, a strange look in his eye. "Yeah. That happens sometimes."
Hana fidgeted, an uncertain look on her face. "… Giffrey. Um."
She bit her lip and, before she could talk herself out of it, tentatively hugged him as well. "… Thanks."
"You. You are most welcome," Giff murmured, stunned.
Clearing his throat, he said, "Anyway, while I was looking for Lovekov, I believe I spotted the other team's reactor. They're probably still in disarray after I plowed through their ranks twice. If we hurry, we might be able to win this! Who's with me?"
Everyone was, and the resulting battle was so brutal and viciously one-sided and their victory over the other team so absolute Giff decided to release the bullies who had picked on Lovekov, completely unharmed.
Well. Physically, anyway. Their psychological scars would probably never heal.
Lovekov looked up at the next attraction, the MetsubouJinrai Haunted Ruins, and nervously hid behind Astarte. "Th-that looks scary, love."
It did indeed. Apparently a portion of the ruins of Daybreak Town had been transported to the park from the exclusion zone, and the crumbling and decaying buildings seemed to exult a palpable aura of menace and terror. Despite being purified repeatedly by Izu and other Zeaist priests, a specter loomed over the ruins, a lingering shadow of death that might never fully go away.
"According to the brochure, it's one of the most terrifying haunted house attractions in all of Japan," Genta said, reading the pamphlet.
"It certainly looks like it," Tamaki said nervously, clinging to Ampaz.
"Whose brilliant idea was it to take a monument to tragedy and hubris and the death of thousands of people and make it a theme park attraction?!" A furious Azuma demanded. "This is beyond disrespectful! It would be like someone turning a ruined shrine in Hiroshima into a nightclub or something!"
"I think they might have? I mean, they did rebuild the city," Ikki told him.
Sakura nodded. "It's not like they could just leave it abandoned forever, right? Not like Chernobyl."
Azuma considered this. "All right, fair enough. It still feels wrong."
"That's capitalism for you," George said smugly.
"To be fair, it was apparently the board's idea and Korenosuke Hiden couldn't talk them around, and at this point the ruins have become too popular an attraction to remove without causing serious public backlash, so President Aruto's been forced to let them stay," Genta said, still reading from the brochure.
"I've never been in a haunted ruin. Well, I've actually been in several, but real ones, not whatever this is," Giff commented. "What's this one like?"
Ikki frowned. "I'm… Actually not sure? I don't remember going-" He hesitated, then glanced at Vice, who nodded, much to his relief.
"We never actually tried this attraction out," Yukimi admitted. "The age restriction is actually pretty high, so for most of their lives the kids were too young to go. And even once they were old enough… Well. The reviews are fairly positive, but it still sounds utterly terrifying so we always made excuses not to go."
"Then why are we going now?" Hana asked, actually looking a little worried.
Genta shrugged. "Well, given everything else we've experienced over the last few months, surely a haunted house attraction can't be that bad, right? What's a few spooks and scares compared to fighting actual demons and mad cultists? No offense intended."
"None taken," Hana and Tamaki assured him.
"Some taken," Astarte, Vice, and Giff said.
"I mean, I would be offended if I were a demon, which I'm not," Giff added quickly.
Suddenly, horrendous, bloodcurdling screams could be heard from within the ruins. Several of the people waiting in line fidgeted nervously, looking increasingly uncomfortable. More than a few suddenly left line and walked away as fast as possible.
"… That's… Probably just for atmosphere," Ampaz said uneasily as the entire family regarded the ruins with dread.
"Oh, come on!" Vice snapped. "What are we all quivering for? Papa Genta is right, most of us are badass demon slayers who've fought way worse things than whatever fake ghosts or ghouls are in there! We can handle it! Well, except for probably Tamaki, and Lovekov, who is probably too young to go."
"Also I don't want to, love," Lovekov asserted.
"You're going to just let him talk about you like that?" Ampaz chided Tamaki.
"No, he's right, I don't want to go in there either," he confessed. "You can go, though! I'll stay here and keep Lovekov company."
"Astarte, you should go too, love," Lovekov urged her girlfriend. "You had to miss out on the Realizing Coaster because of me. You shouldn't have to skip out on this one too!"
Astarte frowned, clearly conflicted, but nodded. "Very well. We will be back soon. Tamaki, guard her with your life or I will end yours."
"Okay."
As the family moved past the other increasingly worried park goers in line thanks to their VIP passes, Giff couldn't help feeling optimistic. Genta and Vice were right. The Igarashis were all strong, valiant people, and he and Astarte were both superior demons! What could possibly await them inside that was that bad?
A few minutes later…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The entire family screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The skeletal HumaGear zombies with glowing red eyes and dried blood and viscera covering their bodies screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Giff and Astarte screamed, reflexively glowing red and yellow.
A few minutes after that…
Everyone stared at the haunted ruins as the firefighting HumaGears tried, to little avail, to put out the roaring inferno that had consumed them.
Giff and Astarte cringed, ashamed.
"If anyone asks," Genta said finally. "This was the Ark's fault."
Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Mwahahaha! I've now become the evilest and most powerful being in the world… The president of a massive mega-corporation!" Vice cackled malevolently. "With the spirit of capitalism flowing through me, I will make everyone miserable and bring the world to the brink of ruin with terrible employee benefits, a complete refusal to adhere to environmental regulations, and malicious tax evasion!"
"Vice, get up, somebody else might want a turn," Ikki chided his partner.
"Oh, fine," Vice grumbled as he got out from behind the desk.
Lovekov eagerly squeezed into the chair after him. "With my new executive power, I declare every weekend will be a three-day weekend, the dress code is abolished, and everyone gets a raise and free puppies, love!"
Sakura, Hana, and Astarte applauded her indulgently.
The family had entered the replica of the Hiden Intelligence headquarters in the middle of the park and were now exploring the top floor, which was an exact replica of Aruto's office and private laboratory. For some reason, George had griped about "set recycling," whatever that meant. An Izu impersonator was serving as a tour guide, showing everyone around the office space and telling them interesting tidbits about the history of Hiden Intelligence and the development of HumaGears, which Giff, Astarte, and Azuma were particularly fascinated by, seeing more evidence of just how far humanity had evolved over the millennia.
"And this is what you all really look like beneath that fake skin?" Giff asked, marveling at one of the Basic Bodies on display in the lab, apparently the latest generation. "Remarkable!"
"I wouldn't call it remarkable, exactly," Sakura said with a grimace. "Considering these look an awful lot like some of those zombies we got chased by in the ruins."
"Don't worry, Sakura, the zombie robots are dead and can't hurt anyone anymore," Hana assured her girlfriend.
"Considering they were zombie robots, weren't they technically already dead?" Tamaki wondered.
"Shut up, Tamaki," Hana snapped.
"And you've already gone through at least four different generations," Azuma murmured. "With each model looking closer to human than the last. I can't help wondering what the next one will be like."
The Izu impersonator nodded. "As technology marches on, the manufacturing process becomes more refined and allows for more and more advanced types of HumaGears. If humans ever get over their phobia of cybernetic implants or augmenting their bodies, it is possible that a time will come where both our species will evolve to the point where we are more or less indistinguishable on a fundamental level."
"A world where everyone is just as much machine as flesh… I wonder what that would be like," Yukimi remarked.
"Sounds like it could be a nightmare," George quipped.
"Or a dream," the impersonator argued. "It is certainly one which President Aruto wishes to pursue, under Zea's guidance."
"Hey, what's this big thing?" Tamaki asked, standing before a massive chamber situated against one of the walls.
"That is a Hiden Intelligence Three Dimensional Printing System," the impersonator explained. "The one in President Aruto's office is used primarily to manufacture new ProgRise keys for use in the Zero-One system. This one is also capable of creating new ProgRise keys, but nonfunctioning ones. They are purely souvenirs."
"Ooh, that sounds neat!" Vice exclaimed. "Maybe I can finally get a T-Rex ProgRise key! Wouldn't that be great, Ikki?!"
"It would be kind of cool," Ikki agreed.
"How does it work?" Hana asked, everyone gathering around the printer.
"Zea will scan your biometrics and produce keys she believes are an appropriate match," the impersonator explained. "Am I to take it this means you all would like one?"
There was a nearly unanimous response that yes, they would, in fact, like souvenir keys.
"Very well. One moment, please."
A sensor on top of the 3D printer lit up, a wide beam of light shooting out from it and sweeping across the room, passing over the entire family. The light shut off, and the machine started making noises, flashes of light going off through the window on a door on the side of the contraption. After a minute, there was a ding and the door slid open.
The impersonator walked inside, and came out a moment later carrying a tray filled with ProgRise keys. "It is done. These keys are each individually designed for you, so it should be pretty obvious which one belongs to whom."
Indeed, each of them felt drawn to a specific key. "Look, Ikki, we got matching keys! Reigning Rex!" Vice shouted joyfully as the two of them compared keys.
"Aren't these Zetsumerise keys?" A confused Ikki asked the impersonator.
"The printer is capable of producing both," she assured them.
"Amazing Hercules! Yeah, that sounds about right," Genta said with a grin.
"You are amazing, honey," Yukimi agreed with a smirk, marveling at her Loving Ladybug ProgRise key.
"Buzzing Bee? That's… Oddly cute?" Hana remarked, examining her key.
"It's the same one I have," Astarte noted. "It is as I thought. There is a resonance between the two of us, Hana. Akaishi chose better than he thought using you as the vessel for my return." She frowned, glancing at Giff. "Assuming, of course, that was his idea…"
"Mommy! Look! We both got Striking Cobra!" Lovekov said excitedly, waving her key around.
Sakura smiled at her. "And they suit us both perfectly, sweetie!"
Georgina scowled at her Punching Kong ProgRise key, not liking being typecast. "Ook."
George rolled his eyes. "Come on, you're a gorilla, what else would you get?" He smiled at his own ProgRise key, Parading Zoo. "Guess the machine couldn't pick just one animal for me, huh? Well, I do have 10 faves…"
Tamaki was confused by his own ProgRise key, Exciting Stag. "A stag beetle? I thought wolves were my thing."
"Well, I think it's perfect for you, darling," Ampaz assured him, smiling at her own Striking Cobra.
"… Slaying Chimera…" Azuma murmured, frowning at his own ProgRise key, which had motifs of an octopus, rhinoceros, and giant centipede. "Strange. Doesn't even look like a chimera…"
Giff stared at his own key. Instead of an animal, it bore a resemblance to himself. "Living Devil," he murmured. "Izu impersonator. Why did Zea give me this?"
"Because she feels it is the key which reflects what is in your heart," the HumaGear replied.
"I see. It says here this key's special ability is 'Live.' What does that mean?" Giff inquired.
"That, I'm afraid, you'll have to find out on your own," the impersonator said apologetically. "After all, each of us must figure out the meaning of our own lives. Nobody can tell us what they are."
"… No. I suppose they can't," Giff murmured thoughtfully.
Live.
A simple word, filled with so much meaning.
What was the meaning of his life?
What did he want it to be?
Yet another of the many profound questions he had found himself wondering ever since this outing began.
He wondered if he would ever find an answer.
He glanced at the others, who were examining each other's keys and gushing over how cool they looked.
Maybe, he realized, he didn't have to figure it out alone.
Aruto had said that they could get anything they wanted the gift shop, or any of the other shops lining the main promenade.
Anything within reason, that is.
Unfortunately, the Igarashis seemed to be having difficulty understanding what "within reason" entailed.
"Vice. We don't need a hot tub. We run a bathhouse. We have several hot baths already!" Yukimi said in exasperation.
"But those are also used by customers! This one will just be for me, I mean the family!" Vice insisted.
"No," Yukimi said flatly, much to his disappointment. "And Lovekov? Same goes for that plushy. Put it back."
"But it's so fluffy!" Lovekov protested.
"Lovekov, it's the size of the house! Where would we even put it?!" Yukimi demanded.
"We could put in my palace," Astarte suggested.
Yukimi raised an eyebrow. "What palace?"
Astarte fidgeted. "Well. I'm admittedly between palaces right now, but I don't see that as being a problem for much longer-"
"Put. It. Back," Yukimi insisted. "And Sakura, what… What on Earth is that thing? Is it supposed to be a HumaGear?"
Her daughter shook her head, patting the orange robot with discs for hands on the back. "No, it's a Beast-Fist Trainer Robo Tough. One of the stores here sells SCRTC gear, and given my increasing power levels, I need a training dummy that won't break the instant I so much as tap it."
"All right, that's reasonable," Yukimi admitted. "But Ikki, why did you get a HumaGear?"
"To help out around the bathhouse," Ikki explained.
"We don't need help around the bathhouse! We've got plenty of people to help out!" She pointed out.
"Well, yeah, but it's not like all of us are going to be living there forever, right?" Ikki argued. "I mean, let's be honest, the place is getting a little crowded. Unless we do some serious renovations, some of us are going to have to move out eventually, and when we do… Well. You'll need someone to take our place, right?"
Yukimi froze. While it wasn't something she liked to think about, she reluctantly had to admit her son had a point. Daiji had already moved out, after all, and even if he came back, would he stay? Her children were growing up, and sooner or later all of them would need to leave the nest and find their own paths. Even Ikki, who'd given up on his dreams of being a pro soccer player to stay and help the family business. How much longer could she keep him at home before familial duty turned into a chain binding him to a place he had outgrown long ago?
"… You make a good point," she admitted uncomfortably.
"It's too bad they only give out one HumaGear per customer," George complained, pushing a very large cart containing not only his newly purchased android's box but a massive pile of scientific equipment and Kamen Rider Zero-One memorabilia, though there was a bit more of the latter than the former, and poor Georgina was carrying several extra bags filled with even more goodies. "I could use more assistance in the lab… Still, this is a good start."
"Please don't blow up the house," Yukimi pleaded before turning to Tamaki and Ampaz, who were happily leafing through several binders full of cards. "Do you really need all those cards?"
Tamaki nodded eagerly. "Absolutely! Some of these are incredibly rare and expensive, and others aren't even in print anymore! Normally I couldn't even begin to dream about getting even one of these, but since President Aruto gave us more or less carte blanche…"
"We are taking as much as we want!" Ampaz said gleefully. "Oh, we're going to win so many tournaments with these…"
"Isn't it kind of unfair that if you have enough money you can just buy the best cards to win any match instead of actually requiring any skill?" Sakura wondered.
"It's about as fair as how in the anime the protagonists conveniently draw whatever card they need to win the game just when they need it most," Hana pointed out. "Even if the card didn't exist in their deck before. Sometimes they literally generate it from thin air."
"You've been paying attention!" Tamaki gasped joyfully.
Hana sighed. "You talk about it all the time, some of it rubbed off on me. I-It's not like I like it or anything, stupid baka!"
This was a complete and utter lie and everyone knew it.
Genta shook his head and tsked. "Ah, youth. Kids, you need to learn that while all these fancy goodies may seem like the most important thing in the world, they can't give you lasting happiness."
"Dad, you're holding an electric guitar," Ikki pointed out.
"Yes, I am," Genta confirmed.
"Do you even know how to play one?" Sakura asked skeptically.
"No, but I've always wanted to learn!"
"Put it back," Yukimi said flatly.
"But honey-"
"PUT IT BACK!"
Genta just scowled but did as he was commanded.
"Aren't you going to get anything, cousin Giffrey?" Vice asked Giff.
"I haven't seen much that really appeals to me," he said. "I've never been one for material possessions. All of these things are just… Things. They do not provide sustenance, and while they can entertain, it seems fleeting and ultimately pointless, a sentiment I am certain Azuma agrees with, seeing as how he has been living as a hermit for the last 50 years."
Azuma cleared his throat, and Giff was astonished to see he was carrying numerous bags, many of which were filled with clothing and other comfort items. "Azuma?! But I thought-"
"Lord Giffrey, you are correct, I have spent the last 50 years as a hermit, without any possessions," Azuma confirmed. "And do you know what I've learned?"
"No, what?"
"It's BORING," Azuma shouted. "I'm done with that lifestyle! In my opinion, just about everyone who claims to be an ascetic is nothing more than an arrogant and pretentious snob looking down on everyone else for not being as 'enlightened' as they are while hypocritically mooching off of everyone else so they don't have to lift a finger to support themselves!"
In his very nice house, Shinichi Saruhara sneezed.
"While you are correct that objects are indeed just things, my Lord, that doesn't mean they can't give you happiness," Azuma continued. "Desire is a fundamental part of human existence, and there's nothing wrong with it. Desire is what drives us to better ourselves, to reach forward, to strive for better futures. There's nothing inherently evil with greed, so long as it's in moderation."
"Which was basically the entire theme of Kamen Rider OOO's series… Of adventures!" George quipped.
"And aside from that, there's another reason to get things, even if they aren't practical or necessary," Ikki added.
"And what's that?" A fascinated Giff inquired.
"They're mementos. They can be reminders of an important time in your life," Ikki explained. "Most of the stuff we're getting, yeah, it's basically consumer junk we don't really need, but it's not just that. When we look at them, when we use them, we remember this day, when we had a great time at our favorite amusement park, as a family. And those memories… They can last a lifetime, and give us strength in trying times. So… So even if you forget them, they're still proof that… That it happened. That you were there. That no matter what's going on now, there was a time when… You were happy."
Oh.
He hadn't looked at it that way.
And… Of course Ikki would be thinking about the importance of memory, given how much of his own he was losing.
Was he afraid that eventually he might forget this day as well?
"… You know, I think I'll take another look at the stores," Giff announced before Ikki could look too melancholy and Vice too guilty. "Maybe I wasn't looking hard enough. Would you all help me find something that speaks to me?"
He was elated when pretty much everyone agreed to help him.
"I bet I could find you some jewelry that'll really make you look…er… Well, some jewelry that'll suit you, anyway," Ampaz said enthusiastically. "I mean, I know a thing or two about jewelry, as should be self-evident!"
"Why is it self-evident?" Giff asked in confusion.
She laughed. "Because I'm yellow-orange, of course!"
When nobody else laughed with her, she gave everyone confused looks. "… I'm a yellow-orange Pythonian. That means I'm a jeweler."
"What does your color have to do with your job?" Asked the bewildered Tamaki.
She gave him a dumbfounded look, then smacked her forehead. "Oh! Right! Humans! And other. In my species, our color determines what job we're most likely to be good at. We don't HAVE to stick to that job, but most tend to."
"Ohhhhhhhh," everyone said.
"That sounds like a potential breeding ground for a truly horrific racist and classist society," George commented.
Ampaz shrugged. "Actually no, we're pretty satisfied with things the way they are? It always confuses us when we see other species discriminate within themselves based on cosmetic differences, though, that's not a thing we do. Nobody looks down on anyone else due to their color and position in society. After all, it takes a lot of colors to make up a rainbow, and if you remove even one, the whole thing shines less brilliantly!"
"That's an interesting way of looking at it," Astarte remarked.
"Rainbows are pretty, love!" Lovekov gushed.
"And totally gay," Hana teased Sakura, causing her to blush.
"Well, I hope that you can help me to shine more brilliantly," Giff told her. "And… The same goes for all of you as well," he said, addressing his family. "I think… I think that I've been a single stripe for far too long, but it's only now… Being here today, with all of you… I think I might be on the verge of finding my rainbow."
Everyone, even Hana, softened at this.
Elsewhere, Akira Nijino sneezed.
"Everyone, once we're finished shopping for Giffrey, I think we should think about going home," Yukimi announced. "It's getting late, and I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use a nice long bath to relax after everything we've been through today."
There were quite a few nods and murmurs of assent to this.
"Can we go on one more ride, grandma?" Lovekov pleaded. "Pleeeeeeeeeeease? Love?"
"Well, I suppose one more ride can't hurt," Yukimi conceded when all of her children, grandchildren, and assorted other family members and hangers-on gave her pleading looks.
"How about the Zea Wheel?" Genta suggested. "It's slow, peaceful, and like all Ferris wheels, potentially romantic. Could be the perfect capstone for a really great day!"
"That sounds like an excellent idea!" Giff cheered as everyone else nodded in agreement. "One question. What is a Ferris wheel and what differentiates it from other wheels?"
"Well, you see," George immediately began to lecture him as they headed back into the various stores lining the promenade. "While most people think the first Ferris wheel was constructed in 1893 by George Washington Gale Ferris Jr. for the World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago, hence the name, in actuality it may have originated in 17th-century Bulgaria…"
Akaishi, Olteca, and Daiji approached the front gates to Hiden Land, only for a Mamoru-style security guard HumaGear to block their path. "I'm sorry, Sirs, but there's no entry allowed without a ticket."
"We don't have time for tickets," Akaishi barked. "If we don't go into your park at once and locate Lord Giff, it might spell the doom of human civilization!"
"President Aruto and Lady Izu are on the premises, and if any apocalyptic threat presents itself, I'm confident they can handle it," the guard assured them.
"They can't!" Akaishi insisted.
"Actually, I've heard they're pretty strong, one of Japan's most powerful literal power couples," Olteca commented.
Akaishi ignored him.
"Guys, look, let's just buy some tickets, there's no way we can force our way through, security here is pretty tight since Hiden Land is one of Aruto Hiden's favorite properties and they're constantly on guard for potential incursions from the Ark," a weary Daiji suggested.
"A malfunctioning PC cannot possibly match to the danger Lord Giff presents to the world," Akaishi said dismissively. "Or his chosen acolyte."
The guard narrowed his eyes. "Is that a threat?"
"That depends. Are you going to let me through?" Akaishi asked menacingly.
The guard didn't respond.
Scoffing, Akaishi tried to push past him-
The guard grabbed him by the shoulder, flipped him through the air, and slammed him facedown to the pavement hard enough to crack it, folding an arm behind his back and planting an elbow against his spine to pin him in place with his several hundred pound metal body. "I'm sorry, Sirs, but there's no entry allowed without a ticket."
Daiji's jaw dropped. Olteca burst into laughter.
"On second thought," Akaishi's muffled voice said through the cracked concrete. "I think I'll buy a ticket."
The guard let him up, and after the flustered and humiliated Akaishi straightened his jacket and hair, he marched over to the ticket booth. "Three tickets, please, two adults and one senior."
"Certainly… Oh! Hello, Daiji!" The attendant said, lighting up when she saw Daiji. "I was hoping you would show up!"
"You were?" He asked, startled.
The HumaGear nodded and slid a ticket across the counter to him. "Yes, your mother paid for your ticket and left it here in case you showed up. She'll be so happy to see you!"
Daiji stared at her blankly. "She… She paid for my ticket?" He asked softly. "She thought… She thought I'd show up?"
Olteca laughed incredulously. "She did? Seriously?! Wow! Definitely didn't see that coming. Well hey, at least this means we don't have to pay full price of admission!"
"Indeed," Akaishi said as he swiped his credit card and received two tickets. "Her sentimentality has certainly saved me a little money. Come, Daiji. Let's go get Lord Giff back and teach your family a lesson, yes?"
Daiji stared at his ticket, fingers trembling, vision blurring.
His mother still believed in him.
"Daiji!"
"What? Oh, right, coming," Daiji sniffed, wiping his eyes and trying to ignore how Olteca sneered at him and even Akaishi looked somewhat annoyed.
It didn't matter what his mother thought. He'd made his choice.
There was no turning back now.