Chapter 5- Dear Trina

Metro Court

After a fitful sleep with haunting dreams reminding him of his insecurities hosted by Esme, Spencer took a long hot shower. He started to think about his future. He couldn't turn his uncle in. Not after everything he had done to help him. He wanted Trina to be happy but there was a part of him, deep down, that wondered if he could make her happy. Did he deserve a chance to see if he could? To ask her to go away with him, if only for a short time to get back to the beginning. When he was Victor and not the Cassadine heir. When things were simpler and he could be himself without pretense. He ran the sponge over his chest stopping the space that held his heart. Heart warred with the mind, a frequent battle within. That time, it seemed that the heart would win. He decided to write her a letter.

Spencer had dressed, determined to tell the truth. Since he had taken to being tongue tied whenever he approached the subject of his feelings he decided to write them down.

Dear Trina,

He'd go to her house and he would give her the letter. He stood, determination set, he had a new purpose. To tell his love the truth, finally. He could only hope that she felt the same.

Trina's house

He was about to knock on the door when Portia met him. She looked behind herself to make sure no one else saw him. She quietly closed the door.

"Spencer, you weren't invited. I really appreciate what you did for Trina. I really do, but you also hurt her. Badly, she faced prison and expulsion for you." He could only hang his head.

"You met someone who could light up your life. Who has a big heart and only sees the best in people. You took that light and you dimmed it. You took her smile, the one that used to reach her eyes but stopped." Portia frowned then put a comforting hand on his arm.

"She is happy. I can't let you back in her life because though you might not mean to, you will destroy her. You will put her back in a dark place." He looked at Portia. She had no reason to hate him outside of the pain he caused. She liked him when he was Victor. Maybe she could like him again once she saw how much he loved her daughter. He scratched the back of his neck, it was wishful thinking.

"I love her. I would never...I know..." He sighed.

"If you love her, Spencer, if you really love her then you would put her first. She is on her way to her party. She is allowed to start the fall semester." Spencer nodded fighting his tears.

"I never meant for any of this to happen." Portia nodded empathetically.

"No. Still, your arrogance allowed you to lie to her for weeks about your identity. Made her look like a fool in front of her friends. Then when that was done, you blindside her with a girlfriend she never knew existed. You may not have meant it but you certainly set it into action. Leave her be." Portia went back into the house closing the door behind her.

Spencer looked at the letter, held it in front of him as he considered leaving it in the mail

"That doesn't belong to you!" Rory looked at the name on the letter, it was addressed to Trina.

"It is addressed to my girlfriend, so I'd say that it concerns me." Spencer was losing the battle of keeping his temper in check.

"It belongs to me." Rory held the letter up.

"Does it really? Or do you just think belongs to you?" Spencer was too angry to speak. He knew what Rory was suggesting and he wasn't wrong. He just didn't like it coming from him. He didn't like Trina's name coming from his mouth nor the fact that on multiple occasions he had to witness his lips touching hers. It drove him crazy and, in that moment, he wanted to hit something. He wanted to hit the officer, square in his smug little face. He just plain didn't like Rory. He refuted the fact that he was jealous but deep down he knew better. He stuck his hand out gesturing for the letter.

"You know, I think it is best that we get rid of it. It could end up in the wrong hands...or the right ones as it were." He pulled out a lighter. Spencer grabbed his hand then bent his wrist back with a speed that shocked the cop.

"You really don't understand who you are dealing with. I asked you to return what belongs to me, I won't ask again." Rory smirked through the pain.

"Assaulting an officer? Want to add to that short stint in prison?" Rory raised an eyebrow causing Spencer to snarl at him.

"Do you honestly..." Catching on Spencer let him go then stepped back. He laughed. "Officer Nice Guy, not so nice after all…interesting" He looked at the officer, there was something off about him. Spencer had learned to defend himself well throughout his life. Fencing, Martial Arts, etc. Rory hadn't even flinched when he almost broke his wrist. He was baiting him.

"Tsk, tsk. Not very by the book. Does Trina know?" Rory smiled though his eyes were cold, a darker shade of brown, almost black.

"Listen, you have hurt Trina enough. She is not a toy that you can play with when you are bored. Leave her alone. I make her happy." There it was again, her name in his mouth setting him on edge. Spencer threw caution to the wind and was ready to leap when he heard her voice. The voice that could halt him when he was about to be reckless. That could calm him, sooth him, make him smile at the same time.

"What is going on?" Spencer chewed on cheek to bit back a nasty reply. Part of controlling himself meant not saying things to intentionally hurt. He had done it with others, never with her and it wasn't something that he wanted to start.

"I was just telling Spencer about my friend at Pentonville. I put together a list of contacts for him." He passed Spencer the envelop making sure to conceal her name. "Don't forget, keep it close. If it falls into the wrong hands, it could spell trouble for the both of us."

"You were carrying it with you?" Rory shook his head.

"I am on duty tomorrow. When I saw Spencer here, I got it out of my car." Spencer had to admit, the effortless way that he lied was surprising but also alarming.

"It will spell trouble for you either way." Trina looked at him, her expression puzzled.

"What isn't being said here? Is this another measuring contest?" Spencer laughed.

"Trina, I would never embarrass your boyfriend in front of you that way. Out of respect for you, of course." Spencer smiled, the smile was so fake that he thought his cheeks could crack.

"I'd love to stay and do this whole thing again... No, that is a lie. I would rather go to Pentonville." He laughed. "So, I am going to continue to be on my way."

"That is the guy you choose to remain friends with?" Rory looked at Trina who was beginning to get tired of him bringing up Spencer.

"That is the guy that I am rebuilding my friendship with. Spencer is complicated. You don't have to understand him." She shrugged. "You won't because he doesn't allow many that opportunity."

"But, you are going to have to trust me, Rory. Otherwise, I don't see how we can possibly work." Rory ran a nervous hand through his hair and let out a breath.

"I do trust you. I am just not naïve enough to not see that he wants you!" Rory shouted then took a deep breath. He didn't mean to lose his temper, but he had the feeling that Trina could be lying to herself. He could be patient. He could make her forget and he had three months to do so.

"Tonight, is a celebration. We should head to the club; my mom is ready. Are you?" Rory offered her his arm.

"Of course. I apologize for letting the night get off track."

"Apology accepted." She hooked her arm with his. She wondered what Spencer wanted. Wasn't he taking the deal? Was it too late? Was he planning to skip town? Her heart raced at the thought. She needed answers.

The Savoy

The party was in full effect. Her best friend Cameron performed and she recorded it then sent it to Spencer.

Have you seen Cam perform yet? He's amazing! Here's the vid in case you haven't.

-T

Trina couldn't help it, she couldn't stop thinking about Spencer. No amount of well wishes and toasts could ease her mind. He had been through a lot. She could tell that something was bothering him.

I hope that he's not drinking again. It's not good when you're vulnerable.

Her phone dinged with a message.

I remember him trying briefly when we were kids. Looks like he's practiced all these years.

Enjoy your party. I'm sure that guy you call your boyfriend wouldn't want you texting me right now.

SC

Trina sighed, he was being petty and they both knew it.

Where are you?

Wyndemere, sadly?

Are you ok?

Trina, it's your party. You should you know…party.

Trina pulled her friends aside. "I need to do something. I need to leave early. Help me sneak out then cover for me?" Joss looked at her skeptically.

"Trina" she carried out the last syllable of her name. "Please tell me you aren't doing what I think you are?"

"Good thing I refuse to know what you are thinking." Cam smiled.

"Rory is earning brownie points with your dad, Aunt Stella has your mom covered, now is your chance." Trina smiled then hugged them.

"I owe you one. Just say that I felt sick and needed some time alone." Cam ushered her off. She knew that there was a risk but it was one she was willing to take.