A/N:

Previously:
Renji Shahou, at age six, wakes up with memories of another life in his head. This affects him in an unknown way, turning his hair white and causing issues with his left eye that eventually leads him to covering it with an eyepatch. He learns basic info from a private instructor (the one-on-one attention being part of the reason why he progresses so quickly) before moving onto fuinjutsu. At age twelve, he moves to Konoha alone and takes the graduation exam, which he passes. Afterwards, he puts together a file on Kakashi for his team to look through, pranks him with a glitter bomb when he walks in, and goes through introductions before promptly realizing that now he's Team 7's glorified babysitter.

I forgot to post this before, so bamwham, here it is

also, in response to a review: i fixed the last chapter, but in case you didn't see, Ren's messed up eye is his left one :)

Naruto paces back and forth in the field, scowling. "I can't believe they're late again!"

"I know, right?"

Naruto screams, and Ren winces.

"Stop doing that!" the blond demands, pointing at him accusingly.

"Don't be so loud, idiot," Sasuke tells him. Ren offers Naruto a winning smile and kindly doesn't point out that Sasuke had barely kept himself from throwing a shuriken at Ren's face.

"I brought something else for both of you," Ren says chipperly, tossing a tomato to Sasuke and an orange to Naruto. The former because he knows that Sasuke's a freak of nature, and the latter so Naruto doesn't get scurvy from eating only ramen.

Also, it matches his color scheme.

They both catch their respective offerings, but look at them suspiciously.

"What's this for?" Naruto asks, poking the orange quickly before jerking his hand away.

"Kakashi said we weren't supposed to eat," Sasuke adds, staring at the tomato like it's personally offended him. Maybe it has.

Or maybe it's because he's afraid that it, too, might explode into glitter. He doesn't exactly have a reference when it comes to deciphering Uchiha's emotions.

"Considering what happened yesterday, he probably won't be here anytime soon," Ren reasons. "Besides, just that isn't going to make you puke."

Naruto's suspicion seems to fade at that, though he looks somewhat sour as he begins to pick at the peel. "You think Kaka-sensei's gonna be late all the time?"

"...Maybe," Ren says, not wanting to give him hope, but not wanting to outright agree, either. Naruto seems to take it as confirmation, though, and slumps over while grumbling to himself. Sasuke, meanwhile, seems to have started eating his tomato while they were speaking, though he resolutely stares ahead, refusing to acknowledge anyone else's existence.

Ren hides his amusement and falls onto his back, grass tickling against his skin.

"How come your eye's all freaky?" Naruto blurts out suddenly.

" Idiot ," Sasuke hisses.

"What?! At least I didn't ask about his eyepatch!"

Ren hears something that sounds remarkably like a hand making contact with a face, and he huffs out a laugh, sitting upwards. "It's my clan's dojutsu," Ren offers freely.

"Huh? You mean like the Shargninan?"

" Shargninan ," Sasuke mouths disbelievingly.

"Sharingan," Ren corrects, lips twitching upwards. "But yeah, kinda. Mine's not as strong though. It just lets you see better, mostly. Users can also 'zoom in' on things, so they're kinda just like built-in binoculars." Sasuke looks at him, looking to be a mixture of surprised and offended - probably because he'd never heard anyone speak about their clan's kekkei genkai in such a manner. "In the Capital, my clan's responsible for acting as sentries on the walls. Either that, or they look through paperwork to make sure that everything's in place."

Naruto's expression sours. "That's so… boring," he says, then frowns. "Then how come you're a ninja?"

"I practically begged my parents," Ren admits with a grin. "They were worried, but I've never really asked for much before, so they eventually agreed."

"Your parents?" Naruto echoes. "Are they… nice?"

Ren's expression falters when he remembers his teammates' living situations. "Um. Yeah. I mean, they're a little arrogant, but they care, so."
They all fall silent, and Ren is about to steer the conversation elsewhere when Sasuke interjects.

"Idiot," he says without much bite, "What the hell are you doing?"

Naruto's head snaps towards him. "What? I'm not doin' anything, bastard!"

"Exactly," the Uchiha replies, sounding to be a mixture of annoyed and, weirdly enough, bewildered, "Do you not know how to peel an orange ?"

There's a beat of silence.

"...You're kidding," Sasuke says flatly.

Naruto squirms. "Of course I know how to peel an orange!" he denies, "I just… was savin' it for later!"

Ren slowly turns back towards Naruto, joining Sasuke in staring at him in disbelief.

"...I'm serious!"

Sasuke remains quiet for a second longer before letting out an annoyed sigh. "Give it to me."

"...Hah?"

"The orange," he snaps, holding out his hand. "Give it to me."

"Bastard—"

" Usuratonkachi."

Naruto growls. "Fine, if you want it so bad, here!"

The orange flies towards Sasuke, and he catches it with an annoyed scoff. Instead of making another snippy comment, Ren watches with slight wonder as Sasuke expertly peels the fruit with a kunai. After a glance at what's left, Sasuke launches the orange at the back of Naruto's head, leaving the peel in the grass.

"Hey!" the blond shouts, whipping his head back around, but before he can say anything else, Sasuke speaks up.

"I peeled your stupid orange," he says, sneering. "Don't waste it."

Naruto falls silent, clearly startled, and Ren watches as his head dips slightly before he hesitantly reaches out towards the orange. "...It's dirty now," he mutters without heat.

"Hn," Sasuke responds eloquently.

Ren wonders if he'll have to deal with this sort of thing often.

"We should set traps."

Sasuke glances towards Ren with narrowed eyes, and Naruto's head swivels towards him.

"Huh?" the blond lets out. "How come?"

"He said we'd be doing a survival exercise where he'd be our opponent," Ren points out. "And he had us meet here hours before he actually planned on showing up. He might have left us time to put something together."

Sasuke presses his lips together. "Traps made by genin won't catch an elite jounin," he says begrudgingly.

"Maybe not," Ren agrees, "But he probably won't be going all out on us. If that were the case, there's no way we'd be able to win, and this test would be pretty much pointless since, if he really wanted to, he could just fail us from the get-go. Besides," he continues, "Maybe they won't even have to take him out. He said 'survival exercise,' not 'spar' or 'fight.' Maybe stalling him is enough."

Sasuke narrows his eyes. "And if it's not?"

"Then we attack him while he's trapped," Ren replies easily. "There's only so much someone can do to defend themselves when they're cornered or stuck in place."

Sasuke's jaw tenses, but he slowly nods. "Fine. But," he admits, "All I have are weapons and ninja wire."

"I might have some things," Naruto pipes up, looking thoughtful. "I mean, a prank is pretty similar to a trap, right?"

Sasuke looks unimpressed by the comparison, but Ren's lips twitch into a smile. "Why? Do you have something in mind?"

Naruto adopts a thinking pose for several seconds, then slowly begins to nod. "Yeah," he says, a grin spreading across his face. "I think I do."

"Good morning!" a cheery voice calls, and Ren turns towards the man, doing his best to project that he's unimpressed, rather than amused. Glitter remains firmly stuck to his hair, shimmering in the light of the sun.

"You're LATE !" Naruto shouts, dramatically pointing at the man. For a moment, Ren thinks he sees large, red lettering in the sky, but when he blinks, the image disappears.

"Maa," Kakashi says, waving his hand carelessly. "A black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way."

Naruto growls. Sasuke scowls. Ren… does nothing that rhymes with either of those.

"Well," the man says after a moment, sounding amused, "Let's get started."

He meanders towards a tree stump and places an alarm clock on top of it. Ren is incredibly relieved that he managed to convince Naruto not to place any traps anywhere near the stump.

"It's set for noon," he says, then pulls a pair of bells from his pocket. "Your assignment is simple. You just have to take these bells from me. That's all there is to it." He shakes the bells, and they jingle. "If you can't get them by noon, you go without lunch."

"So that's why you didn't want us to eat!" Naruto realizes. "You asshole!"

Kakashi ignores his outburst. "You'll be tied to those posts and watch while I eat my lunch in front of you."

Naruto makes a wounded sound, while Sasuke shifts, crossing his arms. "There's only two bells," the latter points out. Although his tone is flat, he looks somewhat wary.

Kakashi hums. "Well, that way, at least one of you will end up tied to a post and ultimately disqualified for failing to complete the mission. That one goes back to the Academy." He pauses as if he's considering something. "Then again, all three of you could flunk out, too."

He sounds far too pleased about the idea, which is not at all surprising, since Ren's pretty sure he didn't want a genin team in the first place. Then again, he doubts that he's even allowed to fail Team 7, given its politically-sensitive nature.

"You can use any weapons you have, including shuriken," Kakashi continues. "If you're not prepared to kill me, then you won't be able to take the bells."

Naruto glances between Ren and Sasuke before a nervous grin overtakes his face. "You couldn't even dodge an eraser! You're gonna get yourself killed!"

"The weakest links speak the loudest," Kakashi says mildly, unconcerned by the way Naruto bristles. "When I say start, you can begin."

The man deliberately pauses, which leads Ren to believe that he'd planned for one - or all - of them to attack. He glances towards Naruto, who meets his gaze before turning towards Kakashi. Ren eyes Sasuke, whose expression is flat, and refuses to look at him.

He steps forward, resigning himself to taking up Sasuke's role, but—

A moment after Naruto dashes forwards, Sasuke grabs the back of his jumpsuit, causing him to stumble. Ren swallows a sigh of relief.

"The hell was that for, bastard?!" Naruto demands, though his slight smile gives away his surprised joy.

Sasuke scoffs. "He's just taunting you," he says, eyeing Kakashi.

Kakashi hums, sounding slightly surprised. "Right, then. Get ready. And… start!"

Sasuke moves to leap away, but Naruto grabs him, dragging him back to the ground and forcing him into an awkward crouch.

" Dobe ," Sasuke says venomously, and Naruto lets out a huff.

"The hell did you stop me for, huh?!"

Sasuke narrows his eyes. "What?"

"Why'd you keep me from going after Kaka-sensei?!"

"You—" Sasuke starts, then snarls. "Because he's an elite jounin, you idiot! Do you not pay attention to anything ?!"

Naruto whips around in Kakashi's direction, though doesn't properly inspect him. "No way!" he denies loudly, turning back towards Sasuke. "That lazy guy?! He got hit by my eraser!"

"He was obviously pretending!" Sasuke shouts back.

Naruto scowls. "Why would he pretend?!"

"It was a trap, you idiot! Why else ?" He throws his hand out towards the jounin, who offers a jovial wave in response. "He wouldn't be a jounin if he was weak ."

"I would've noticed if he was strong!" Naruto argues.

"You didn't even notice that Shahou was right next to you this morning!"

Ren's head snaps towards Sasuke, eyes wide. Naruto looks equally as startled, but quickly collects himself.

"Uh— I totally did!"

"No you didn't . You—" he lets out a breath. "We don't have time for this ," he snarls with finality, pulling away from Naruto's hold. "You're just holding me back . That goes for you and Shahou."

He spins around before anyone else can say a word, then leaps off into the trees. Naruto twitches in place for a moment before growling and joining him.

Ren watches with a sinking feeling, hoping that their plan hasn't just fallen to pieces as he darts into the forest.

"I'll give you a bell."

Sasuke whips around to look at Ren, eyes narrowed. "What?"

"You can have one of the bells," he repeats. "Naruto can have the other one."

There's a moment of silence before Sasuke turns around fully. "And you?"

"I'll go back to the Academy if I have to."

"...Can you?"

Ren pauses. "What?"

"You said you had to convince your parents to let you join the Academy," Sasuke points out. "And you didn't even show up until the exams. What makes you so sure you'll even be allowed to repeat a year?"

Ren opens his mouth to speak, then closes it a moment later. Sasuke scoffs.

"Figures," he mutters, then presses his lips together, looking somewhat pained. "We'll figure something out," he finally says. "After we capture him."

Ren blinks, eyes wide. "...Are you sure?"

"Yes," Sasuke bites out, even though he sounds completely unsure. "I'm sure." Before Ren can say another word, he jerks his head in the other direction. "Let's go find the idiot."

Ren lets out a faint laugh. "Alright," he agrees, then takes in a breath, firmly planting his feet into the ground.

"Aren't you coming?" Sasuke demands after a moment, looking like he might take back his offer at any moment.

Ren ignores the boy for another few seconds before letting out a breath. "He's near the lake. Same side as us."

Sasuke blinks, then narrows his eyes. "How do you know that?"

"Sensor," Ren offers, then grimaces. "Don't tell anyone, please."

Sasuke watches him with dark, searching eyes before finally letting out a huff. "So he'll see."

"He should."

The Uchiha kisses his teeth, stepping forwards. "And Kakashi?"

Ren pauses for a moment. "Still in the clearing. He hasn't moved."

Sasuke grunts, and with another look towards Ren, he darts off towards the clearing, hands moving swiftly between seals.

A heatwave ripples through the air, and Ren exhales before rushes towards the back, settling into the edge of the treeline. He arrives just in time to see Sasuke get kicked across the clearing before landing in a crouch, wiping his lip with his thumb.

A moment later, dozens of Naruto's clones burst into the clearing, all letting out war cries as they rush Kakashi. Sasuke glances behind him before he disappears amongst the clones. Ren takes the cue for what it is, and moves to take Sasuke's place, henge settling over his form. Naruto - the original - briefly glances at him before leaping backwards into the brush, hair growing pale as he takes on Ren's appearance.

Right , Ren thinks with a huff of laughter, it's go time .

A/N:

Shargninan no Kakashi strikes yet again

i mostly like this chapter, but I recognize that the whole thing with Sasuke seems like it's going too fast
well, about that:
1.) He didn't just have like, a personality 180... this is mostly specific to this situation, because while Sasuke's arrogant and often has tunnel-vision, he's not actually an idiot (strategically, at least)
2.) Sasuke is a lot more chill in the beginning of the series than I feel like anyone remembers - even me. Aside from the edgy introduction, Sasuke's pretty normal, just a bit of a brat.
so... apologies if you find the way Sasuke's acting annoying, but i figure that, for the most part, it makes sense

anyway
thanks for reading! :)