A few days after the dual Angel incursion
"I'm home." Asuka grumbled as she made her way into the apartment. Her mood wasn't great, the rest of the class was still in Okinawa so she couldn't hang out with Hikari or Kotone, and now her trip to the mall was ruined.
"Welcome back." She heard Shinji answer in return. That was another problem. She couldn't understand what she felt about Shinji. She felt annoyed with him sometimes and pleased with him at other times, and not in the ways she usually felt those emotions. Sure she said she was his friend, but she wasn't sure what that really meant. She didn't have friends before coming here so she was stuck in unfamiliar territory now that she had three, possibly four, people she could consider 'friends'. Not to mention she had to live with one.
"Hey Shinji, you would not believe the day I've had." She entered the kitchen and saw Shinji sprawled out on the living room floor while staring at the ceiling. The little shit Shiki was sitting on his chest, staring at the television, which appears to be on a channel that does nothing but display the color blue. The Leader mini-me was nowhere to be seen. Suffice to say, she was confused.
"What happened?" He asked, his eyes flickering to her. Right, worry about that later, vent now.
"Right so, I was going to the mall, right? I wanted to try out this new ice cream place."
"I remember you saying something about that, they had a strawberry sundae? How was it?" Oh, she must have mentioned it earlier.
"Great actually. It's called Strawberry Overdose, it's strawberry ice cream with strawberry whip cream covered in strawberry syrup, strawberry sprinkles, and fresh strawberries."
"That's a lot of strawberries."
"Yeah, it was so good but I'm not gonna eat anything strawberry flavored for a week because of that. But that's beside the point! As I was finishing up a Gottdamn tiger wanders into the food court."
"A tiger?" Shinji's eyes widened with concern.
"Yeah, but don't worry, I'm fine." His expression relaxes. "Anyway, the tiger comes in and starts accosting people. Then, a guy in a white suit and a guy in a yellow jacket come in and start fighting the tiger!"
"How?"
"The yellow jacket guy pulled out a sledgehammer with a car battery taped to it from somewhere, while the white suit guy just punched it."
"He punched a tiger?"
"Yeah. So I got the heck out of there. And I really wanted to go to some of the clothing stores too."
"Sorry to hear that Asuka. But there's always next time, right?" He sounded genuine, but he still hasn't moved an inch. Now it was irritating her. Time to get to the bottom of this!
"Alright, what's going on Shinji? You look like a body the police are about to outline in chalk." The sudden thought of Shinji being a body filled her with very….. dark thoughts. She quickly repressed those thoughts before they could take root.
"Oh. It's just that….. you know that feeling when you have an itch but you can reach it and it grows to be a sharp tingling feeling that gnaws away at you?" She blinks, wondering where the hell this came from.
"Yes?"
"Well multiply that by ten, and that's the feeling that I have right now over my whole body and scratching doesn't help. Right now I'm just trying to ignore it by not moving." What? That's unusual, where could that-
"Oh! That's probably phantom pain from when you took a dip in that acid lake. Well, it could be worse, I hear First can barely move her hands after that rifle exploded in her Eva's hands." On one hand, she was lucky she didn't suffer any injuries in that fight, on the other hand, she almost wanted an injury to prove how hard fought that battle was. Well, there's always next time. She can take solace in the fact she taught Shinji how to kill Angels effectively, meaning she is partially responsible for killing that Angel.
"Poor Ayanami, I hope she's fine." Suddenly a chunk of ice formed in her stomach, and a feeling she couldn't properly identify overtook her.
"I'm sure she's fine." She ground out a bit more forcefully than she intended. "Let's worry about you."
"Oh, you don't need to worry about me Asuka, I'm fine-"
"Hush!" She interrupted, glaring at him. "I've decided to help you distract yourself from your phantom pain. You should be thankful!"
"Thank you? But how are you-"
"I'm glad you asked!" She interrupted again. "We're going to play video games!"
"Video games?" He asked inquisitively.
"Anta Baka?" The little shit, Shiki, inquired with a curious gleam in her eye.
"That's right! Wait right here!" She dashed off to her room and began to rummage around her boxes. She quickly found the object of her desire, her Segatendo Dreamcube. As she pulled out the cubical gaming edifice, something fell onto the floor. A red, tuning fork-shaped object. She set down the console and picked up the red fork. She suddenly recalled what it was, her commemorative eating fork she got in the mail. Now that she noticed it again she realized how it looked like those lances the mini-mes use. In fact, it looked exactly like them.
"Oh, Gott. I'm a fucking idiot." It was exactly like those lances because it was one! How did she not notice this before?! "Alright, calm down Asuka. There's a logical explanation for this. Wait, no there isn't. You live in a place where countless mini versions of you run around and people punch tigers in malls! Logic had obviously been taken behind the shed to be put down." She took a deep breath to calm down before she got further into her tirade. "Alright, I need to get to the bottom of this. But later, I said I would distract Shinji from his woes and I'm no liar. Well, usually." She put the mini lance in her pocket and grabbed the console and a game from her collection and brought it back to the living room. "Behold! Distraction!" She held out the console and game.
"Lunar Farming: A Marvelous Life?" Oh crap, did she grab one of her farming sims? There was no way he would- "That sounds fun. I used to do a bit of gardening before I came here, it'd be nice to do it again." -wouldn't like her heartfelt and well-researched pick!
"We'll get ready to farm your heart out!" She quickly plugged in the console to the television and booted up the console. "Hope you're prepared because we're gonna make the best damn farm ever! One you can brag to those two stooge friends of yours about!" She thought for a moment as she realized something. "Wait, are those two the only guy friends you actually have?" She noticed the little shit, Shiki, had pilfered the instruction manual from the game case and was reading it intently.
"Uh, Mister Aoba is my friend?"
"Ugh, he's old so he doesn't count."
"Uh… Mat?" Who?
"Who?" She repeated vocally.
"It's short for Matsuhide or Matsusuke I think. I've talked with him." Wow, he really needs to get out more.
"I don't remember anyone like that." The name sounded familiar, but she couldn't put a face to it, which made this guy unimportant.
"Do you remember most of the class at all?" She stopped fussing over the game's settings for a moment to stare at him. Did…. did Shinji just sass her? Did Shinji Ikari just sass her, Asuka Langley Soryu? Even Shiki was staring at him with a disbelieving look.
"Was that sass Shinji? I didn't know you had it in you." He went wide-eyed and looked away sheepishly.
"S-sorry." A flash of annoyance spiked into her temple.
"Don't apologize, I wasn't offended or anything. Now come on and sit up, you have virtual farming to do." She slapped the controller in his hand, causing him to wince. He slowly sat up and fixed his eyes on the screen, his discomfort plainly visible.
"Right, so how do I do anything?"
"Follow the tutorial and I'll explain from there." She looked around and had a sudden realization. "Hey, where's Pen-Pen?"
A single overhead light illuminated the table he was sitting at, and the smell of machinery and cheap, non-dairy, artificial cheese substitute filled the air. He gazed at the others before him, trying to decipher their gazes for any kind of clue that would lead to his victory. To the world at large, he was a reclusive investor, Pengaldo Pengelton, but to those close to him he was known as the penguin, Pen-Pen. And today, he would emerge on top.
"I raise."
"Dammit! I fold." William the Spoonbill grumbled as best as his large beak would allow as Pen-Pen collected his winnings.
"Ha! I only had a pair of threes!"
"This is why I hate playing with you guys, you take things far too seriously." Ciel the Seagull griped as she drank her beer through a straw.
"I don't know what you're talking about Ciel, this is hilarious." Tender the Chicken giggled.
"Shut it Tender, go back to your Yakuza overlords."
"Just because a Yakuza member runs the company I work at doesn't mean I work for the Yakuza!" Tender clucked aggressively.
"Sure, keep telling yourself that."
"Ladies, enough." Pen-Pen held up his wings placatingly. "If you don't want to play poker then we have a plethora of other games we can play."
"Do we have Candyland?" Ciel questioned intently.
"Maybe? The pile is over there." Ciel launches herself at the pile of games, leaving the three of them to themselves. "So, Tender. How are my investments?"
"Excellent, and the roaches attempting to dig into your financial records are being waylaid."
"Excellent, and how are things on your end William?"
"Aside from being shanghaied to fight a literal Kaiju, they're fine. I've managed to scout out a few of your competitors. But I've been seeing a few of those black suits spying on me, so I might have to lay low."
"That's fine, staying safe should be your priority. Ciel-"
"You cloacae! There is no Candyland!" Ciel stomps back. "Also my eavesdropping is going well. But I'm still mad at those little red things."
"Well perhaps you should not have tried to eat them." Pen-Pen admonished.
"If they aren't food then why are they small and smell like blood!"
"Well take that as a lesson. Also, I'll see if I can grab Candyland for our next game night."
"Thank you!"
"In any case my compatriots, we are inching closer to our goal of creating a nation of birds, by birds. With our tiny red allies, we shall soon found the land where we will rule."
"""For our new land.""" They all intoned as Pen-Pen interlaced his claws. All was going according to plan.
Mana cheerfully hummed a tune as she packed her bag with the necessities she needed for her mission. Like underwear, a toothbrush, her music player, a triangle blade trench knife banned by the Geneva Convention, and some shampoo. The important stuff.
"Please Mana, don't leave me alone with Keita!" Musashi begs her on his knees. "He's crazy!"
"Mushahi, don't be rude to Keita! Keita is just a bit shy, right Keita?"
"This world is imperfect." Keita monologues as he stares into the eyes of the skull he's holding. "I wish I could wipe away the impurities and make it as beautiful as I!"
"See?"
"How does that sound shy?! He sounds like he's going to sprout a single angelic wing and summon a meteor to destroy humanity!"
"I look upon the creatures known as humanity and see only ants. Does this make me an ant or a god?"
"All I hear is creativity being stifled by closed minds." Mana chastises Musashi with a wag of her finger. "How would you feel if someone said something like that about you?"
"What is a mind, but a prison for the spirit? Once I gain the power to do so, I will shed my mind to unshackle my spirit so I may unleash devastation upon the mewling masses."
"…You know what? Fuck this shit, I'm out." Musashi flips them off as he leaves their bunks.
"Rude. Welp, time to go to a fortress city designed to protect us from alien invaders to seduce a teenage boy for info on the death mech he pilots! See ya later Keita!" Mana waved goodbye to her fellow pilot.
"Soon I shall ascend to a plane higher than one with these petty trifles, and in my wake, this land shall be engulfed in hellfire." Keita crushes the skull in his hand.
"Right, have fun with that!" Mana skips off to her destiny. Unfortunately, to get to her destiny she will require three bus transfers and a taxi, but who said that destiny would be easy?
Fuyutsuki sits silently in his office, contemplating the many recent happenings. Today his attention is focused on the mysterious message the 'Professor' left him. He still has yet to decipher its meaning, the illegibility haunting him. He could track down the Professor and ask for assistance or inquire the MAGI for an answer, but he was determined to solve this under his own power.
"It's not cursive Kanji script, it's not some form of Chinese, it's not any Southeast Asian script I can track down. What was she trying to tell me?" He sighs and leans back in his chair. Perhaps his mind was starting to dull in his old age? Even so, he would solve this, his pride as a professor wouldn't allow any less. He looked at the globe sitting on the corner of his desk, a gift from one of his students a long time ago, and gave it an idle spin. It wasn't an accurate globe, not since Second Impact at least.
"To think the world used to be so different not so long ago." He mused as he stopped the gentle spin. "I wonder how Yui sees the world through the eyes of the Eva?" He blinks as he turns the globe towards the Mediterranean, eyeing a certain island. "It can't be…" He holds up the Professor's message as the realization hits him like a truck.
"Of course, I've been looking at it wrong the entire time. It was never a message, to begin with. It was a map." He grabs his phone and quickly calls the Commander.
"Fuyutsuki. What is it?" Curt and to the point as always.
"I've got a hunch about something, do we have agents in the Mediterranean area?"
"We do. What are you suspecting?"
"I'm not sure yet, but I have a sneaking suspicion it's important."
"You're being unusually vague Fuyutsuki, but your hunches are rare and often accurate, so I'll humor you. What do you think needs investigating?"
"Cyprus, New Dhekelia region."
"Very well, I'll dispatch Squad Nitocris from our Egyptian branch. You're responsible for directing them, keep me updated. Anything else?"
"No, I'll leave you to your work Commander." He hung up the phone without another word. Fuyutsuki turned to his computer and began researching. There was a mystery to solve and his old bones were aching to uncover it.
"I'm not sure what there is to be found at the end of this tunnel, but I suppose that's half the fun isn't it?" He mused to himself.
Gendo hung up the phone and reclasped his hands in front of his face. His eyes returned to Doctor Akagi, her expression one of annoyance.
"So Doctor, what seems to be the issue?"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"My issue is that you're being far too lax with Rei! First, she's become obsessed with 'vengeance' and now she's seeing a therapist!" Oh, so that's what this was about.
"Her therapy sessions are being monitored to ensure nothing gets leaked, and I don't believe that they will sway her from her duty." Listening to them was intriguing, to say the least. He had to admit that hearing that Rei's decisions were based on what he said stirred something akin to parental pride within him. "The same with her quest for vengeance. It is merely something to occupy her time. I doubt it will sway her from our cause." It has nothing to do with the fact that she reminds him of Yui's fights with Kyoko and Mary back in college. To insinuate that would be cause for severe reprimandations.
"Do you really believe that? What if you're wrong? What then?" He didn't appreciate her skepticism, but he could understand her concerns. No matter, he had the perfect way to allay them.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"Then let me show you that you have nothing to worry about." He pressed the speaker button on his phone and hit the speed dial for Rei's cell. It rang four times, twice as much as the previous minimum, causing him some concern before remembering Rei's current hand troubles. She was probably having difficulty with operating the phone. Soon the sound of the line connecting broke him out of his musings, then he heard the sound of animalistic hissing and a scuffle. "Rei?"
"Apologies Commander Ikari, the local switchblade-wielding raccoon has invaded my apartment and is accosting me. What do you need?" He and Akagi shared a look before refocusing on the phone.
"Your recent behavior changes, including your blood feud with the Ishim, have raised some concerns. I would like to confirm, you will still do your duty, correct?"
"Of course." She quickly replied as if she hadn't needed to think about it. "Why wouldn't I?"
"I just wanted to ensure you would not feel unfulfilled when Complementation is achieved and the Ishim you are feuding with joins with the whole of humanity." He didn't want to say they doubted her, as that might implant a seed of uncertainty within her.
"I don't understand." Rei stated after a moment of silence. "Why would the Ishim join with humanity during Complementation?" He blinked in surprise, Akagi sharing his confusion.
"What do you mean Rei? The Ishim are human, aren't they?" A creeping feeling of dread was beginning to worm its way into him.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"No, they are aberrations in the fabric of reality that should not exist. Why would you think they are human?" Suddenly the sound of the hissing grew louder and a yelp was heard on the other end. "I apologize, Commander Ikari, I must do battle with Garbagius, The Recusant of Hakone, I will endeavor to continue this conversation with you later." The line went dead as silence engulfed the room. The both of them stared at each other as they absorbed this new information.
"I want the MAGI on this as soon as physically possible."
"Yes, Commander." She quickly left the office, leaving the Commander alone. He sighed as he retrieved a bottle of liquor from his desk.
"Solve one problem, another rears its head." He abandoned the idea of a glass as he drank straight from the bottle. He stared at his hand intently. "At least you're consistent."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"I still wish you'd shut up."
"So if I give this old guy gifts and befriend him, he'll give me a sentient plant that I can use to fuse plants together?"
"Yup. Also, you need to give gifts to some girls as well. You need to be married if you want to get past the first year."
"M-married?! But I don't-" He was having trouble forming words at this point so she decided to throw him a bone.
"Calm down Shinji, it's just a game. Just pick one of these four and you'll be fine." She points to the four bachelorettes in the instruction manual. Personally, she usually chose the blonde waitress, as she reminded her of Mama before- NOPE! Immediately repressing that thought!
"Uhhhhhh. This one, I guess." He pointed to the aloof redhead. She felt some level of smug satisfaction from his choice but decided to file that away for later.
"Ah, she's the hardest to romance. So you like a challenge, huh?"
"W-wait, that's now what I-"
"Don't worry, I understand. You wanna spice up the playthrough by choosing the most difficult target. I can respect that. Don't worry Shinji, we'll make a gamer out of you yet!"
"Anta Baka?" Shiki questions with a flat look.
"Quiet you, you're too small to even use a controller." Shiki responded with a death glare to end all death glares. She ignored her and focused on Shinji, who had meekly mumbled something and went back to playing. She noticed how he didn't look as uncomfortable as he did before, meaning her plan to distract him was working. Maybe this is a chance to get a co-op player for all of her multiplayer games? Well, she'll consider that later, now she'll just worry about explaining how this game works to him.
"Asuka, why am I suddenly surrounded by gnomes?" He asked with a hint of panic. She sighed, giving him a bemused look.
"Those are the Farming Sprites, you see they serve the Moon Goddess….." And so they continued well into the day, immersing themselves in the virtual farm work, nearly forgetting the world until Pen-Pen reappeared and demanded dinner.
Alright not much to say here. Musashi and Keita are characters originating from Girlfriend of Steel, in which they are T-RIDEN-T pilots. I'm pretty sure Keitai isn't a JRPG villain in it, but I couldn't find much on him so he got a promotion. Next chapter might be a bit beefier, so look forward to that. Until then, hope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and have a nice day.