They started with the brain scans as soon as the geth was secured and Tali was satisfied with the measures put in place to prevent it from being a problem. Crow initially didn't see the wisdom of storing a member of a hostile synthetic species in the AI Core where it could access EDI's hardware if things went really far south, but according to Shepard, the room was the tech equivalent to Fort Nox- whatever that was. It was designed to lock down and contain a rogue AI in a worst case scenario; nothing was getting out.
As far as the IFF was concerned, apparently Shepard wanted them to finish work on the transmat system first, since the process of integrating it was already underway. Every upgrade made to the ship had some sort of consequence that the engineers and maintenance crews had to make ship-wide adjustments for, usually to do with power draw. Shepard didn't want to tax the Normandy or her crew with more tech integration work while they were still working the problems transmat would cause. Thankfully, they were close to running the first tests on the system, so hopefully the IFF wouldn't have to wait too long.
Right now, Crow was killing time while he waited for Chakwas to sort through the results of their first scans, trying to watch that Star Trek show that Joker kept insisting he should see, but failing to focus on the datapad screen for more than five minutes at a time. His brain was full of incredibly distracting thoughts about a variety of things, from the mission, the bomb in Glint, to the fact Shepard was currently trying to have a friendly chat with a geth in the next room over.
For his first time out with Shepard, he thinks he'd done fairly well. She had certainly seemed pleased with his abilities and conduct in the field. The only hiccup he could think of there being was his death. She hadn't seemed very fond of that, and he supposed that after a lifetime of mortal fights with mortal soldiers at her side, the concept of losing a man, but not really losing him, might be surreal for her.
The way she had looked at him, and kept doing so soon afterwards... he couldn't place it. It had seemed like something between concern and disturbed. There was something about it that had just made something... click for him. In that moment, he had felt like he could trust Commander Shepard, really trust her, because for whatever reason, she cared. He'd known, in the back of his head that she did, but now it was just... like it had been driven home in a way it hadn't before.
He could trust her. They could trust her. She was the furthest from Spider they were ever going to get, and it was these thoughts that led into his dilemma with Glint.
Glancing at his Ghost now, perched on his left shoulder, Glint seems content. But he could be more; he could be free, they could be free, truly cast off the shackles that Spider had placed on them for good. It's come up in conversation a few times since Aite, and he can feel Glint's dread through their Link every time, but they had to get that thing out.
For his part, he dreads telling Shepard that there's been a bomb on her ship for over a month and he hadn't informed her of it. He dreads the fact he would have to provide context as to how the bomb got in his friend, because there's no way she won't ask, and no way she'll take 'I don't want to talk about it' as an answer, not in such a dire situation. He dreads that she'll probably have to bring others from crew in on it, if only so the more technically-minded ones can help work the problem, because Ghosts are fragile creatures and one thing planned wrong could end in disaster.
He dreads that one of those people would probably be Joker, who he's tentatively close to calling a friend, the only thing really holding him back from doing so at this point being fearful hesitation. He's never had a human friend before; Glint is his Ghost, even if they had a disagreement, they always bounced back, out of necessity at worst, or the fact they were all each other had at best. If the Normandy had taught him one thing, it was that friendships outside a Ghost link were fickle, messy, prone to drama and easily lost, so much so that sometimes he wonders if all the potential angst and heartbreak are worth it.
Glint keeps insisting that it is.
But almost more than Joker, he dreads Tali. Shepard would definitely want her expertise with tech on such a project, her and Joker were the cream of Normandy's brain crop when it came to figuring out unknown tech and code, if anything the transmat project had proven that much, and he wasn't letting Mordin poke around inside his Ghost(that had been one of Glint's 'absolutley not happening' conditions). He's still not sure he can trust her, she's always so unreadable. He knew she no longer distrusted him, but she certainly wasn't a fan of him, or his bond with a sentient energy construct that also happened to be part code.
The notion of her and anyone else Shepard bring in to work the problem knowing even vague details about Uldren, and poking around in Glint soon after was one of the biggest mental hurdles he was trying to jump. The same went for Glint himself, but at the end of the day, the bomb had to go. They were either all in trusting Shepard and the Normandy crew, or they were all out, and now was the time to decide.
"Glint." He says quietly, pausing the show. His Ghost drooped and twitch, like he could sense what Crow was about to bring up. "We need to do it."
"Crow, I..." Glint twitched, and pressed against his shoulder. "I'm not sure about this."
"I know. I'm not either." He admitted, all that dread flaring in his chest. "But after today I'm more sure. If anything Shepard deserves to know there's a bomb on the ship. She was trained to defuse nukes with paperclips and a gum wrapper while blindfolded, even if she gets mad we kept it from her, she can still help."
"What if she's really mad." His Ghost whispered.
"We could leave." He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought of it. If he hadn't wondered what would happen if revealing the bomb, his work- and crimes committed- under Spider's direction, about Uldren, was too much. If it totally trashed everything; his blooming friendships, Shepard's trust, this feeling that the Normandy was actually safe. If it comes to needing a full-on escape, he's not sure what he'll do. But if things are really bad, and there's a chance to bug out next time they hit port, he should be able to make off using the void and what he's learned about the galactic transport system.
He's not sure where he would go. Where he could go. Or how he'll get credits, how he'll avoid people like Cerberus, how he'll avoid Shepard and the Normandy if they try to chase after him. Or anyone else who comes after him, for that matter. He's not an idiot, he knows that an unaligned Lightbearer loose in this reality would be like honey to every bear that wanted an edge in the galaxy. That was why Spider had played him in the first place, how the bomb had gotten in his friend.
It was one of those things that he didn't have a full plan for, and never could, because there were too many unknowns.
"Glint... it's just... it's time." He sighed, still keeping his voice down to minimize the chances EDI would overhear. "We do it quick, like a rough rez."
His Ghost made a low warbling noise in response to this, and Crow channeled Light about his shoulder briefly to try to set him more at ease. At the same moment, Shepard and Tali marched out of the AI Core. From what he's learned about quarian body language while working with her, the latter isn't happy, and it shows in her tone of voice.
"Shepard, I just- I can't work with that thing." She grit out. The biggest problem with hanging out in the med bay all the time is that people felt comfortable here, meaning they had no qualms about airing dirty laundry in here. This tended to create the usual dilemma of drawing attention to yourself and making it awkward if you left, or staying and feeling second hand embarrassment and awkwardness.
And as far as turning invisible went, it would just make him feel like a dirty eavesdropper. So here he was, stuck listening to it all.
"We're not going to take him into the field or invite him to drills just yet." Shepard sighs tiredly, pinching the bridge of her nose, before happening to glance in his direction. "Crow, I need a favor."
"Whatever it is, Commander." He sat up and set the datapad aside. Whatever she had planned, maybe getting it done well would soften her up to be less angry about the bomb later.
"Our latest acquisition needs to kept under observation, but I want to offer a chance to earn some trust." She started, putting a hand on Tali's shoulder when the quarian engaged in some frustrated fidgeting. "I want you and team transmat to do it. If Legion has any ideas that could help with the project, explore them, but the priority is to assess if we can trust him, and if working with a geth is even possible for us."
"Sorry, 'Legion'?" Crow blinks, trying to reconcile what his ears had just heard. Guess I'm not the only one with something hard to hear today. "Is that... the..."
"Geth? Yeah." She heaved a sigh and glared at a nearby EDI camera. "And I don't appreciate the passive-aggressive name suggestion that he happened to stick with because he's a robot with no sense of what bad marketing is."
"Bad marketing?" He inquired.
"EDI named it after the devil." Tali said wryly, almost sounding like she approved of the AI for once.
"Which is very counterproductive for a geth that's literally built to be their version of a diplomat to organics." Shepard added, brows knit together. "Look, this is the best way I can think of that will give Legion a chance to prove he's trustworthy, while letting Tali keep an eye on him, but you're the one in charge. I'd rather know if you're cool with this before actually doing it."
Crow rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. On one hand, he knew what it was like to have to prove oneself, that every opportunity felt like a victory in itself. On the other, this was a geth, an enemy he hadn't even encountered before, and whom most of the crew had seen carnage from.
"What is it, he, whatever, doing here? Why was he on that Reaper, and why are the geth trying to make nice all the sudden?" He asks. He can tell how agitated Tali is by the prospect of working with a geth, even if it gave her the opportunity to watch it, and the others would likewise be unhappy, having actually seen combat with the robotic race.
"Apparently, his mission was to find me." The Commander told him. "Barring that, find other ways to fight the Reapers. Turns out, the geth had some sort of ideological split; the ones we've been fighting have mostly been the kind who worship the Reapers. Apparently they want the Reapers to 'give them the future', and Legion's geth want to make their 'own future'. No clue as to what that future is, by the way."
"So, it's a conflict between developing and advancing through their own achievements against accepting the technology of another, superior force to meet the same conclusion?" Glint paraphrased quizzically.
"From what I could gather, pretty much." Shepard shrugged.
"Fascinating." His Ghost concluded. "I'd almost say that sounds philosophical, definitely don't get stuff like this happening back home."
"I guess... I suppose we could give it a try." Crow isn't entirely sure about this, but he's making enough bold decisions today, why not add another to the list? "I was hoping to test the system next time we were in port, I guess an extra set of- an extra eye could help. It's a complex process."
"Okay." Shepard seems to heave a sigh of relief. "Feel free to talk to him yourself if you feel too unsure, pitch it to the rest of the team, and let me know if you think it will be too problematic."
"Will do." Crow had to resist the urge to fidget, an odd sort of panic rising in his chest as he tried to judge the right time to bring up the bomb, while at the same time all his dreads came to the surface to try to stop him.
"Good man. Right, Tals, let's grab Garrus and see what Gardner's got got for us." Shepard starts to lead her still-disgruntled friend away.
"Actually Commander, I need to speak to you." He blurts out. Glint phases, clearly seeing where this is about to go. He clenches his fists, determined to finish despite the feeling that he's just jumped into the deep end with no way out. "In private."
"Okay." She agreed, turning to look at him in puzzlement. "Go on without me, Tali."
The quarian fixed him with one of her unreadable stares, before turning and leaving. The doors closed and left the med bay silent.
"EDI, privacy." Shepard orders as she approached him again. The window looking out into the mess blacked out. "There something about all this you didn't want Tali to hear?"
"No, it's... it's not that. Has nothing to do with Legion, actually. Or the mission. I..." he had to take a deep breath; the med bay feels suddenly smaller than it actually is, and he feels the urge to pace like a trapped coyote. He walks back to his bed and forces himself to sit to curb that urge. "It's about me. And Glint, and it's... I'm not sure how to say it, I've been trying to think of how to, I've been planning to and now I just-"
"Just breath." Shepard encouraged, sitting down on the bed across from him, face now creased with concern. He does as he's told, and at the same time he wrestled control of his Light so his emotions don't make him flare unintentionally. "Walk me through it from the start."
"Okay, okay..." he feels like he's going to be sick, even as he takes another breath and tries his best to break it to her slowly. "Lightbearers don't remember their past lives, and Guardians are... discouraged from seeking answers about theirs. It's considered a distraction and... and not everybody was a... a good person."
"I can see the reasoning behind that rule." Her gaze is searching, and he looks down unable to meet it. "It could mess with someone if they found something they didn't like. Did you break that rule?"
"I'm not a Guardian." He admits, letting out a shaky breath. "But I did find out about him. He's... the reason I'm not a Guardian. His name was- it was Uldren. Uldren Sov. He...uh... he killed a lot of people. One of them was a member of Guardian leadership, and I... I was only rezzed a few months after it happened. Everyone knew my face, even if I didn't, so I spent most of my time running from Guardians who... who wanted to..."
He startled by he hand when it suddenly clasped around his, making his already rapid heart rate spike. He tries to pull away by instinct, but her other hand grabs his forearm.
"Hey!" She says sharply, grip relaxing but not releasing him. Her gaze hold neither mistrust or betrayal, but it's sharp and commanding. "You're good. Keep going."
"I.. I kept to myself. I stayed away from people, from the Last City as best I could, and one day, I crashed in the Reef. I, uh, I spent about eternity dying the vacuum a load of times, until some Eliksni salvagers found me. They took me to their baron, Spider, and he said he would let me stay as long as I worked off the... debt I owed for being saved." Shepard's hand squeezes his own, though not too tightly, and it's presence is becoming less alarming and more... comforting, like the gesture is meant to be. "At first it was little things, then tasks like clearing Hive out, and before I knew it, I was kicking down doors for glimmer, and his rules were getting worse. I was planning to leave, but one day a Guardian saw me, so he... he decided to... I-I didn't mean for it to happen, I didn't want to keep it from you, I just, I-I just..."
His vision was blurring even as he fought the tears, it felt like there wasn't enough air in the world, and he had the sudden urge to run and hide in the AI Core again. Shepard switches seats to sit next to him, and grips his shoulder firmly with her other hand. He wants to pull away, because now it's too real, now he's about to risk it all and he's in too deep to back out. "Crow, whatever it is, you can tell me. Breath, and tell me."
Light, this was where he lost it all, wasn't it? There was no way she could forgive him for keeping the presence of an explosive device aboard her ship a secret. He can't do this... But he's also in too deep.
"He put a bomb in Glint." Shepard becomes very still at his side, all his dreads come true, and it's just so much more horrible to say out loud. "There's a bomb in Glint."
"Shit." Is all she says, her grip going slack, like confirmation that he's ruined all the trust she's come to give him, ruined every moment where he's proven himself.
"I'm sorry!" He tries to pull away, he needs to get out of here, he's messed up and everything has gone so, horribly wrong, but Shepard grabs him again. "I'm sorry, I should have told you, I should have said something."
"Crow-" she's trying to pull him back down, grabbing his other arm, he needs to leave.
"I-I'll leave, I won't put anybody in danger I'll leave." He can barely see, and even if he could, he couldn't look at her.
"Crow, no-"
I'll leave the Normandy, I'll-"
"No!" Shepard has a sudden and tight grip on his shoulders, and she gives him a rough shake when she shouts that all but stops his heart and makes his body freeze. He's forced to see the blurry, fierce expression on her face as she doles out her judgment, and it's like there's a constrictor coiled tightly about his lungs while his heart hammers against his ribs like an angry Titan. "You are not leaving this ship. You are not apologizing even one more time. You are going to get yourself under control, you're going to tell me everything you can about this bomb, we're going to get it out, and then we're going to find a way to your reality so I can skin the peice of shit who did this alive."
All Crow can do is stare, because words fail him just as much as the ability to breath has. Because call him crazy, but it sounded like he hadn't actually ruined everything. In his lightheadedness, he somehow winds up on his knees, and when Shepard tugs him forward and wraps her arms around him, he initially fights it before realizing it's just a hug.
"Just breath. We'll figure this out." He takes in gulps of air, trying to will his lungs into submission. Somehow, despite the panic attack restricting him, he feels... strangly free. "I got you covered. We've all got you."
It only occurs to him later that this was the first time he'd ever been hugged.
So this was very difficult to write. On one hand, Crow is in a much better place than he was after Aite. He's finally solidifying some friendships and taking leaps of trust. On the other, he's still not used to those things, and it's very easy for him to slip back into that mistrustful mindset. He knows subconsciously he can trust Shepard, but now that he has more to lose, he's more afraid of something going wrong. Even if his fears of Shepard kicking off the ship are ultimately unfounded, the possibilities are very real to his mindset because he's still used to the Shore way.
Speaking of Crow and Glint's trauma at the hands of Spider, Glint totally losing it and threatening Spider was SUCH good catharsis. Ghosts are actually capable of killing, if you read Drifter backstory lore you read a bit where his Ghost punches a hole in some guy's skull; and that was way before the illegal upgrades.
hornig3: Legion is in for the geth equivalent of a major trip when he learns about Crow's reality in general.
Jebest4781: Hope you continue to enjoy!
JGThorncross: Crow is already overpowered just by existing in the ME universe, I don't really plan on giving him more juice as far as exotics are concerned, he already has Hawkmoon.
Ebuc: Yup, that escalated quickly.
Knightwolf1875: Trust me it's going to be good, lol.
Maniacalharp747: Lol.
Let me know what you guys thought of this, it's been a long time coming and I really hope I do it right.
Fare Thee Well!