Pansy Parkinson was a 16 year old girl attending Hogwarts School of
Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her lanky, ten year old appearance had been
replaced as the other girls of her age had growth spurts of their own and
caught up with her. She was now of medium height and had long, fair hair
scraped back into a severe ponytail. Some of the girls she shared a dorm
with had posters of pop bands or quidditch stars that they liked on the
walls. The wall near Pansy's bed was blank. She didn't care about music or
quidditch. She went about with her mouth slack and her lips slightly parted
wearing a blank expression on her face. The only time those eyes lit up was
when she was hurling an insult at someone she didn't like, which was
practically everyone. But right now she was in potions class, and if anyone
had cared to look they would see a girl who looked like she neither knew
nor cared where she was. As her Professor's soft voice rustled on unheard
in the background a strange thought was forming in Pansy's mind. "If I
disappeared from the world this instant, nobody would notice I had gone".
Now, anonymity had always been part of her life in Hogwarts. There was a
groups of girls that Pansy could often be seen with that an observer might
describe as her friends, but she knew that they only wanted her there to
increase their numbers. "Like a pack of wolves" she thought. Nobody felt
anything in particular for her. Tolerance, irritation, mild dislike. She
knew she meant these things to different people as she listed her teachers
and fellow students in her head. She only had one real friend and when she
felt this down she was sure that he must have an ulterior motive. But why
was this bothering her all of a sudden? Did she want more friends?
Popularity? No. A feeling of confusion and dread was creeping up from her
stomach as she stared at the back Hermione Granger's head. It was her. She
wanted to see something other than annoyance and distaste in Her eyes. She
wanted Hermione to look at her with admiration. She tried to rationalize
this ridiculous feeling. It's Hermione Granger. She's in Gryffindor, she
thinks she knows everything, she's prideful, aloof -but you like that-. She
sqeezed her eyes shut. She was shaking a little when Professor Snape's
voice cut through her brooding thoughts: "Miss Parkinson, would you answer
the question?" It was not the note of menace in a disregarded Professor's
voice that filled her with horror that moment but for a split second she
thought that her secret thoughts had been revealed before the whole room.
The irrational terror passed but it had not gone unnoticed by Pansy's
teacher. It was in a barely less icy tone that he added "Some fresh air
perhaps, Parkinson?" She nodded, got quickly up and walked briskly out of
the room nearly bumping into someone's desk along the way. A small act of
kindness from Professor Snape was quite an unbelievable occurrence, even
for a student from his favoured house but this paled in comparison with the
dreadful question that was opening up an abyss within her: Was she falling
in love with Hermione Granger?
