This is from the book "Come Hell or High Water" - Chapter 8 - You Can't Handle The Truth

Dean's POV

I was aching. I'd been playing over in my mind the small touches that Beth and I had shared throughout the day, and my brain was exhausted from overthinking everything else that had happened. I needed to work out my frustrations in a good way. Making Beth moan, while having to keep it down, was the perfect distraction.

Before she'd even closed the door and turned the lock on the handle, I was behind her, my left arm slipped around her waist and pulled her tightly against me so that she could feel the burgeoning erection I had pressed against her buttocks. With my right hand, I moved her hair aside, grazing the back of her neck with my teeth as she shuddered softly and let out a shaky breath.

Last night she'd given me a tantalising massage, followed by a mind-blowing headjob and I was of a mind to return the favour this evening, although I was a little disappointed that Sam was in the other room because she'd have to keep it down. That wasn't swaying my mind away from the idea however.

"Come on," I said, pulling her toward the bed. I started at the buttons and slipped her shirt from her milky white shoulders, brushing her hair back at the same time. She smiled at me, her hands coming out to fiddle with my shirt, I batted them playfully away.

"My turn tonight," I grinned, and deftly unzipped her jeans, pushing them down to the floor, taking her underwear with her. Within seconds I had her naked before me, and I kissed her greedily as she moaned softly into my mouth.

"Dean…"

"Shhhh…" I whispered back at her, urging her to lay down on the towel we'd used last night to protect the bedspread. "Now where is that massage oil?"

I fumbled around in the drawer next to the bed, and then let out a triumphant sound when my fingers circled the little plastic bottle.

"Okay then…let's see…"

I slathered up my hands liberally with the oil, and for good measure dribbled some on Beth's back as well, then started to smooth my hands over her soft skin, up and down, over her shoulders, down her sides. I used my thumbs to circle over the tense muscles, repeating the movements until they softened little butter, and she was moaning softly into the pillow under her head.

I'd stripped off my clothing, so my erection was obvious, hard and prominent as I straddled the back of her legs, moving my hands to rub her buttocks which got a chuckle from the woman beneath me. When she was well and truly oiled up, I slipped a hand between her legs, sliding a couple of fingers through her wet folds, which earned a gasp as well as caused Beth to rise up, pushing against me.

She moaned her approval again and I slipped further to start teasing her clit. I circled it slowly, and then rubbed back and forth, a little faster, harder, feeling myself starting to get worked up.

Beneath me, Beth tensed and shook her head. I stopped.

"What's wrong?"

Her hands bunched in the sheets and she let out a long breath.

"Beth?"

"Dammit, dammit…" she muttered and glanced over her shoulder.

I slipped my hand out from under her and shifted so that I was lying next to her long form, pressed in against her for warmth but not pushing the sexy time in any way. I frowned in concern as she looked sheepishly away.

"What is it?"

"Uhhhh, so apparently this… curse, spell, whatever it is… it's making it really hard to just go with things."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… I keep wanting to tell you things. Stuff I don't want to tell you! It's… I hear myself saying it and I would rather cut out my tongue than…"

"Hey, hey hey hey," I soothed, brushing a hand across her face. "You're starting to worry me."

"I'm starting to worry myself!" Beth whispered fiercely. "It's the spell, it's not real."

"Talk to me."

"I can't, I don't…it'll only hurt you."

She was struggling to hold it in, I could see it in her eyes and that destroyed me.

"Whatever you have to say, I can take it."

"Can you?" She asked, shaking her head. "You know how messed up we are! Take right now for instance, we… we're using sex as a distraction, again. We always do that. But I can't do it this time, everything, all of it is inside of me stirred up like a tornado and wanting to come out."

I bit my lip, holding her face in the palm of my hand.

"Tell me?"

She sighed, wriggling in closer so that her arm was under my shoulder and she could wrap both arms around me while she buried her nose under my chin, her breath ghosting my neck.

"I am a terrible mother, and sister," she said after a moment. "I hate myself."

My arms tightened around her and I sighed.

"Oh sugarpie…"

I had no response for that. I couldn't tell her how to feel.

"You're not, Beth, if anything I'm the problem."

"Yes!" Beth agreed, surprising me. "We both are. I look at Lisa and I think… she's such a good mom. I find myself thinking Sophia would be better off if we left her with Lisa so we could go deal with Sam. And I hate myself for it Dean."

"You're her mom Beth, no one is ever going to replace that role for her," I said quietly, my heart breaking.

"We can't keep our promise to Dad and look after our family," she said.

"I don't know," I confessed. "I'm not sure you're right about that."

"I am," she pressed. "I am Dean, and things just don't work when we separate. I can't breathe, I can't think straight, I don't know who I am without you or the hunt, or … or without Sam. I thought I'd never get over losing my Dad, and then…then our Dad."

"I know," I whispered, kissing her hair. "But you did."

"Because of you," she said. "Only because you were with me."

I held her quietly, thinking about what she was saying. None of it was new.

But it was raw.

"I know this visit to the future, seeing the kids like we did… it's turned everything upside-down," I said after a moment, she nodded against me.

"I am going to fix this," I said. "We will get to the bottom of whatever is going on with Sam, I swear it. And then we can get back to normal."

"Normal? Since when have we ever been normal?" She asked.

"I know, I don't know Beth, but I gotta try… this last year with you? The time we had in Minnesota together? Those were some of the best times I've ever had. For the first time in my life I saw us getting out of dying bloody, y'know?"

"We can't have that and keep Sam safe," she said.

"We can," I said. "We just gotta figure out what's wrong with him, and we will do whatever it takes to get him back to our brother, okay?"

She nodded slowly.

This truth spell was getting weird. Everything I'd heard about the previous victims had been confessions that drove them to suicide or murder, I just wanted to hold Beth close and never let go. If anything it felt like she was the one spiraling down. That did worry me.

So I turned to the only thing I knew that could possibly get her refocused.

"You can tell me 'no'," I said after a moment, lifting her chin up so I could look her in the eyes. "But you can't tell me you didn't want me to keep going earlier?"

Beth nodded slowly.

"Let me distract you, and yes it's just like we always do, but heck, it works right?"

She laughed softly and shook her head, but I'd made her laugh, we were moving in the right direction.

"You want to keep talking?"

"No," she said, turning to look at me with big, vulnerable brown eyes. "But I don't just want sex either."

"So what do you want?" I asked, more than willing to accommodate her every request.

Beth reached a hand out to trail it along my hip, looking thoughtfully at me as she pondered the question.

"I need you," she whispered after a moment.

"I'm right here," I said, sliding my hand up to her face, frowning in confusion.

"I know, I know that… but I need to feel you… close."

I could do that.

I loved doing that.

"As you wish," I said with a genuine smile, leaning in to kiss her softly. I brushed my lips across hers, and when she opened them to me after a moment, I pushed a little further, slipping my tongue in to find hers, teasing it with a dance of flicks and caresses.

I pushed gently until she was lying on her back, my right hand grabbing a fistful of hair at the base of her neck and holding her firmly, my mouth continuing to lavish hers with all the love I felt for her. I rolled on top of her, feeling that way she responded and moaned her approval as she received my full weight on top of her. We slid easily along each other with the earlier addition of massage oil.

One leg I pushed between hers, rubbing it against her centre as I slipped my free arm under the small of her back, moaning softly at how close we were, barely an inch of skin not touching.

"Like this?" I asked, breaking the kiss.

"Yes…" she replied breathlessly.

I took my time, slower than the massage, kissing her lips, along her jaw, down her throat where I sucked and licked at the soft skin, my face buried in the crook of her neck. My body slid atop her, unhurried, drawing out the sensations as we moved together.

Unwilling to pull too far apart, I had one arm wrapped under her shoulders, holding her head as I kissed her again. The other hand slipped along her body while I moved my leg to spread her open beneath me, feeling instantly the wet, hot welcome of her sex, my cock pressed in against her like we were made for each other.

I groaned and paused everything, resting against her, I made the slightest movement as I ground my hips forward, telling her with action what I wanted to do. I stared into her eyes, waiting for her to tell me to keep going.

"Not yet," she whispered. I licked my lips, nodded as her legs moved to wrap around my calves, our legs tangled together as she arched beneath me, pushing us closer. We were hot, oily, sweaty and I loved every second of it.

I tightened my grip on her hair, pulling her head back slightly, exposing her neck as I grazed my teeth along the skin.

Beth moaned loudly and I felt myself twitch against her centre.

I bit down on her neck, not hard, but enough that it got a whimper from her.

"Yes…" she breathed out, and I could feel her body positively react.

I growled softly, my breath coasting along her skin until I nipped at her earlobe, then pressed my lips to her ear.

"You're mine," I whispered. "Is that what you want to hear?"

"Yes," she replied. "Tell me."

She'd needed this in the past, but it was rare. We'd been together so long that doubts didn't come up often for us. But occasionally one or both of us needed the reassurance that we were right here with each other. Not a dream or a nightmare from Hell or the Underworld. The knowledge that we chose each other, especially when things were hard - like they were now.

"I need you," I said quietly, her arms tightened around me. "I am not leaving you."

Beth sucked in a shaky breath as I called out the old fear that we'd both been struggling with in the last few months since Sam returned. Not just with having to separate for hunts, but with the vampire attack and the realisation that I could have been taken from her.

"There is no me without you Dean," she whispered. I turned to look at her and saw tears swimming in her eyes. "If you'd…if there'd been no cure."

"I know," I said, my voice shook. "But I'm here, now."

"Do it," she said, and I felt her arch against me, inviting.

I didn't hesitate and thrust forward, filling her with my hard erection until I couldn't go any further and we both let out a breath of relief.

"Oh god…" she sighed beneath me.

I thrust forward once, drawing out a soft moan, and swallowed my own groan.

"Yeah?" I asked, moving against her again.

"Yes… just like that," she said, her eyes closed, breasts pressed against my chest.

It was torturous in this position. Hard to move, but the oil helped, and I was unwilling to change when she was so needing this. I wanted it too. I raised up slightly on my elbows, just enough to give me some leverage to slide my body along hers. She didn't protest, but her arms did tighten along my back, holding me close.

"Tell me…" I said after a few more thrusts and she moaned softly, nodded.

"That's good… a little faster."

I did as she instructed, gasping at how a slight change in pace could wreak such havoc on my sensitive body.

"Harder…"

"Slower…deeper…"

"Stop, wait, hold… oh god…"

Every little order was barely audible, but I heard them all with how close I was, my cheek pressed to hers, ear next to her lips listening as she gasped and moaned with every movement. I groaned softly as I paused my movements, feeling the way she was spasming around me - she was close, but not there yet.

"God… Beth…"

She squeezed then, and my cock felt everything. I gasped, not sure I could hold much longer.

"Cherrypie…" my voice was raw, hoarse, wanting.

"Now," she whispered, and then she moved again. "Dean…now."

I swallowed a breath I'd been holding, dropped my head to her shoulder and started to thrust forward again. This time I didn't stop, I followed the path of her moans and gasps to our peak.

It was like being in the ocean, wave upon wave washing upon us, until finally that unexpected bigger one hit us and pulled us under. I felt her go first, and that dragged me along with her.

We were so tightly wound together, my arms wrapped under her, one hand still holding and tugging on her hair, kneading her skull as I shuddered, feeling myself unload inside of her to soft, gentle whimpers and nails being pressed into my back.

When all was spent, I collapsed on top of Beth, boneless with satisfied exhaustion.

"Oh god you know how to wreck me," I murmured against her shoulder.

"Ditto…" she breathed shallowly. I knew I was crushing her, but she didn't seem to want me to move yet, so I stayed wrapped around her.

I wasn't going to let go until she told me to.

Secretly, I wished we could stay like this forever.