Ring Raider P2 ::Written by Clarenova::

A/N: I am not a Tomb Raider fan, I only specialize in the LotR parts. Jennifer Jolie wrote the first part, so if the LotR parts there were messed, sorry. Any TR fans reading this, if I jumble Lara's character, forgive me. ~ 'Nova

*

Lara's POV

Oh si-ck.

Mental note to self : Kill freaky short midgets at next bloody chance. Oh, and clobber that git who called me a Barbie-doll. Give him chinese water torture for all I care.

Waaaaaaaait.

4 short people with freakishly curly hair.

1 fat dude who has a sick mind that waves around a piece of metal attached to a stick.

Some guy waving around some big blade that is annoyingly sharp.

Some fool with a shield that is 4 times bigger than it ought to be.

Some guy with long *blond* hair who has a couple of dangerously *sharp* arrows pointed at my head.

A doddering old man pointing a stick a me.

Shit.

I'm in hobbitland.

Second mental note to self : Kill Winston for making me read that stuff at next possible opening.

*

Back to third person POV.

*

Lara slowly reached down to her hostlers (once again, all Tomb raider fans, please don't kill me), grabbed her pistols (see other A/N), kneed Gimli hard and kicked Frodo aside as she did a jump and whirled around. The end situation was like this.

Lara : One pistol at elf-boy's forehead, the other at Strider-person's neck. Main problems : Two simultaneously strung arrows pointed at head, one axe, three swords and 4 daggers aimed at various parts of body. Minor problems : Unable to clobber old man. Unable to clobber garden gnome. Unable to chuck curly haired idiot half way to mars. All in all : Have been through worse. But that was the computer game. This could prove a problem...

Aragorn : Anduril was at that *Barbie-dolls* neck, and a constant pressure was being applied. Oh, and there was that little problem of a metal object at his neck. But how much damage could that do?

Legolas : Debating whether to be alarmed at metal at neck. Am elf, so cannot be alarmed. If Haldir could see us now...

Gandalf : Will report to Galadriel. Will report to Elrond. Will chuck any barbie doll *shudder* look-a-like off Caradhras.

Pippin : Why are we attacking her? She looks... Okay. Maybe she doesn't look so innocent after all. But she might have food...

Merry : I'm hungry.

Frodo : I hate the ring. I wish that it had never come to me. *breaks down*

Sam : I hate the ring. I wish it had never come to him. *breaks down*

Gimli : Mental note to self : Find a female dwarf before I get into trouble.

Boromir : What's a barbie doll?

Sigh.

*

Lara's POV

*

I wish I had some backup here.

Small voice in back of head : Wish granted.

*POP*

Alex West (So I'm following the Tomb Raider movie. Don't kill me) appear out of nowhere, fully armed, and rightfully confused.

What the heck!?

Small voice in back of head : Think of me as the invisible wish granter. 1 down, 4 to go. Wishes I mean.

Oh. And of all the people and the world, you had to choose him.

Small voice in back of head : I can leave if you want me to...

I want some uzis. And some, check that, a lot of ammo to go round.

Small voice in back of head : 3 down, 2 to go.

*POP*

Lara's backpack appeared, stuffed full of ammo. 2 Uzis lay beside it

Okay... I'll save the 2 for later. Until then, buzz off!

Small voice in back of head : I'm so unloved. *POP*

*

'Lara? LARA! WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING HERE?'

'Hello Alex. Welcome to Middle-Earth. Could do with a little help here. Do first ask later. In simple words, you're in hobbit-land.'

***

No flame!