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Alex's POV
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Hobbit-land? Where the HECK is that? Hobbit? Wait. Have I been sucked into some mad Lord of the Rings movie? Wait, I am in a movie. Wait. Ah, screw it.
To leave Lara or not to leave Lara. That is the question. Which only has one answer. Dammit.
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Third person POV
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Alex, out of reflex, took up two Magnum's and joined the fray. Great. Now there was a spilt. The elf swung his bow back over his back and resorted to two elvish daggers, making the matter even MORE complicated, resulting in Alex and Lara in the middle, surrounded by various pointy weapons, many of which Alex had no idea what they were in the first place. Check that, Alex never did know what things were the first place. His eyes swung over to the Ring. He may be stupid, but he had seen the movie. Enter Gollum Number 2. Lara, with her I-know-what-you-are-thinking-you-stupid-fool-so-take-your-flithy-robbing-good-for-nothing-thoughts-elsewhere instinct, glared meaningfully at Alex.
'You are NOT touching, I repeat NOT, touching the halfling, Mr. West.'
'Halfling, what halfling? Oh, you mean that short stunted person with the ring?'
Bad move. Half the weapons focused on Lara made their way over to Alex. Frodo looked like a demented frog ready to assault the man, and Sam looked like a demented bull for allowing the man to insult Frodo. Gandalf looked alarmed at the fact they knew about the ring and Aragorn was wearing his oh-so-sinister-and-dangerous-and-mysterious-and-suspicious-and-ranger-like-and-I-don't-trust-you-as-you-might-be-associated-with the-enemy look.
'What?!'
'You obviously were not in the line that gave out common sense when you were born, Alex. I am amazed that you are still alive right now.'
'I take that as an insult.'
'Alex, if you recall, everything I say to you is an insult. How you are going to survive the trip up the mountain is beyond me.'
'Mountain? What mountain?'
'THIS mountain, you fool.'
Lara cocked her head (at least as much as she was allowed to with the numerous amount of metal around her) to her right, where Caradhras loomed over them.
'Oh.'
'Sigh.'