Lara briefly recalled the advertisement where a flock of birds had completely pecked off two people, clothes and all, but had left the packs. She sure hoped that her pack was made like that.
No such luck. The orcs, of course, were completely mutilated in less than a millisecond but the pack ended up with several bullet holes.
She was rather upset to see Alex West still alive.
Mental notes to self: kill Alex West myself, don't read anything Winston gives me, buy a new pack and get outta here.
The orcs were gone, or rather scattered all around. Lara found two partially digested Uzi clips in the wreckage. Thank god they didn't try to eat the pack or the rest of them. Stupid orcs. They should've eaten Al- no, wait, he was probably too bitter.
She swung her pistols (these weaklings didn't deserve her Uzi's) in an arc and suddenly most everyone was left swinging swords in the air above corpses. Lara stuck her pistols back in the holsters strapped around her legs (luckily I read with them!) and scooped up her bullet-ridden pack.
"You know, before more of those ostrich things some I think we'd better get a move on."
"Ozrich?" said Frodo.
"You know, ugly flying birds…" muttered Lara. "Never mind." To her annoyance Alex had already started up the mountain without her. Heck to the rest of them for now, she decided. Pulling her newly acquired jacket tighter, she sprinted after him.
The new-but-still-odd-and-moody Fellowship had barely been walking up for twenty minutes when a very interesting thing happened.
Gandalf, true to his word, had attempted to chuck the Barbie Doll of Caradhas.
"You get back here, you dirty great broomstick!" yelled Lara as she chased after him with her Uzi's blazing. "And you ever think of cutting that?"
It took the joint effort of the Ken doll and the still-moody Fellowship to subdue them both. Lara stuck out her tongue at their retreating backs and to her surprise Gandalf followed suit.
"Copycat," she muttered. Lara Croft must never be taken by surprise.
After that, they killed another twenty minutes before suddenly someone spoke up.
"Maybe we should go back down."