⠀⠀The weight in my hands was as familiar as breathing. Its steel was decorated with brass and engraved with ornate filigree. It made the weapon more a fashion statement than a tool. Something to be seen but rarely, if ever, used. Under the twilight sky, it still held that beauty, even if it glistened terrifyingly.

⠀⠀When I raised one end to my temple, that allure was still there. Joined only by one thought: cold. Even compared to the brisk night air, the metal against my skin was chilling. Then my finger crept forward and licked the crescent trigger. It fought back as I squeezed and felt heavier than ever before. When it inevitably gave, the gun went off.

⠀⠀I never heard the bang, yet my nightmare still ended with the crackle of lightning. The ear-popping, rumbling boom startled me upright and forced me into a cold sweat. Against the chilling air, it was like a jagged kiss across my whole body. It was worse than the cold of that night, let alone the crispness of the barrel.

⠀⠀As always, my hand moved to my chest, but instead of finding my kunai, I gripped my neckless. The crystal felt warm, a welcomed reprieve against the cold, and what repetitive panic I had softened. It was enough to notice the feeling of chakra once more, and in the absence of the void, that weakness in knowing nothing, chakra really was eye-opening.

⠀⠀Like the day I first felt it, a warming wave of power bloomed through me. It was a reminder, like an alluring, calming nirvana. The nostalgia of my old life, that unaware ignorance, was almost a sin against my current awareness. It felt addictive.

⠀⠀Clarity parallel to sobriety also reminded me of my hard work. The demand it took to understand chakra made me glad I wasn't an infant anymore. Yet déjà vu slowly arose as my sense of self returned, and I focused back on my surroundings.

⠀⠀For the third time, I woke in a hospital room. It was the same as before, now with a repaired window. My ever-present hospital Anbu was there, and his bugs were already scattered about the room. I couldn't help but wish I knew his name.

⠀⠀Sitting beside him was the mammoth of a man I had met days before: Chōyuki. Unlike the grim seriousness he had portrayed, the Jonin was all smiles. His bitter chakra reflected that and tasted almost sweet. He was even dressed casually, wearing a calming bright blue street kimono.

⠀⠀Yet, between them, I noticed far more detail than before. The void and its contrast sparked a level of detail that stood out. It was as if I could feel the soft fabrics Chōyuki wore, the weight of the Anbu's cloak, and see the faces of their cards. I didn't know 'exactly' what they were, but part of me knew Chōyuki was winning.

⠀⠀"Told you she'd wake up while Minato was out," the massive man mused, his voice matching the kindness he beamed.

⠀⠀At Minato's mention, I instinctually tried to expand my range, to find the teen and his welcomed chakra. But something fell short. Something kept my mind's eye restricted, and I couldn't put my finger on why. Everything distant was a haze. As if a dense wall tugged my focus back on itself. It was almost aggravating, and as I tried to push past it, my forehead sharply burned.

⠀⠀Against the cold, the warm pain felt welcomed and helped spur me forward. Even after I felt something give, I still pushed. Aggravated that, before, the whole village was in my range, but now, only a fraction. It was hard to tell just how much was there; a quarter, a third, two-fifths: I didn't know.

⠀⠀I was only grateful the barrier felt nothing like the void. Even then, as I clenched my jaw against the pain, something about it felt sickening. It was familiar but flavorless, dull, with no indicators besides the splitting pressure. It was wrong, restrictive, and above everything, annoying.

⠀⠀Then a large hand broke my concentration as it softly clenched my shoulder. I jumped at the touch and turned to see Chōyuki. "Slow down, Hikigaeru-san. It's okay. You'll understand soon," he offered with concern. "Just focus on us, alright? Not stuff far away." He held up a cloth and dabbed at my nose, cleaning a nosebleed I hadn't noticed. "And try not to move. You'll pull out stuff you don't want pulled out. Like your IV."

⠀⠀"I..." With a shiver down my spine, I stuttered, then shook myself as I pushed my awareness into the massive man's chakra. Its bitterness was like a system shock that I used to reset myself. Then, in a quiet voice, I stuttered, "Sorry, I get — riled — after a nightmare."

⠀⠀"It's okay," he sweetly said, letting the rag soak up my blood. "Nightmares are never fun, but they're nothing to be scared off. Just relax, Hikigaeru-san, and try not to push too hard. You're still recovering."

⠀⠀"I know, I..." With a deep breath, I had to resist the urge to fall back into my pillow. Instead, I pulled at my blankets, trying to wrap it around myself. "I just — hate dreaming."

⠀⠀With a slow hand, Chōyuki helped me, then, trying to sound playful, offered, "Are you sure you don't just hate nightmares?"

⠀⠀"All my dreams are nightmares," I answered honestly.

⠀⠀"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that," Chōyuki lamented as he folded the reddened rag and pressed a wedge up my nose. "What was your nightmare about?"

⠀⠀"I died," I answered honestly, not going into detail over my suicide. Then, deciding to lie, I added, "Snakes; they ate me."

⠀⠀"Oh."

⠀⠀"Yeah, I like eating food. I don't like being food," I pushed, and the man let out a short chuckle.

⠀⠀"Agreed," he cackled, one hand tapping his stomach. "Don't worry. There's no snakes here."

⠀⠀"I know. I don't sense Orochimaru," I noted.

⠀⠀"Not — what I was talking about," Chōyuki chuckled. Then, with a broader grin than before, his chakra turned sweet. Not enough to make the bitter taste vanish, but enough to dull its edge. "Minato-san did say you can taste chakra. What does mine taste like?"

⠀⠀"Coffee."

⠀⠀"Huh." Chōyuki pointed at Sparrow. "What does his chakra taste like?"

⠀⠀"Tea with limes." I shook my head, then asked, "Hey, do you know where my Papa is? I need to ask him stuff."

⠀⠀Chōyuki's chakra stuttered, but the man didn't show any outward sign of worry. "Jiraiya-sama is handling a situation outside the village. He should be back soon. Probably."

⠀⠀"You mean he left?" I gawked, only to jump to my feet, letting the blankets fall as I stood on the bed. "What the fuck! Why?! His damned boss put me here, and I need to know what I was turning into! Not stone, apparently!"

⠀⠀"Easy, Hikigaeru-san! Easy," Chōyuki nearly yelled, a heavy panic spiking through his chakra. "You've got a lot more than an IV in you! You shouldn't move!"

⠀⠀"I'll be fine," I disagreed, not bothering to look down and count the number of tubes and wires protruding from me. Compared to the cold, I didn't really feel any of them.

⠀⠀"You're not fine! You almost died," he argued. "And I don't know why your father left! You'll have to ask Minato-san, but you won't get to do that if you don't listen. Now relax! Sit back down and cover up. You're pale and shivering."

⠀⠀I looked down at myself and sighed, already feeling the cold grow. "Okay. But Minato-san goddamn better!"

⠀⠀"And watch your language, little girl," Chōyuki added. "It's rude." Before I could talk back, my stomach learned from my example and made itself known as I sat down. "Why don't — I get you something to eat?" Chōyuki offered as he struggled to return his tone to what it was before. "I bet you're hungry after being in bed for so long."

⠀⠀"No, thank you. I'm fine. I've gone a day without eating before. I don't think I can stomach anything anyways. Not with how mad I am..."

⠀⠀"Hikigaeru-san, you've been in bed for weeks," he clarified. "If you're hungry, you need to eat."

⠀⠀"Weeks?" I silently mouthed, then with a sharp scream, I repeated, "Weeks?! How long have I been in this bed?!"

⠀⠀"Nearly a month," my Ambu agent mused from his chair. "Happy late birthday, Senju-san. Chōyuki-san, see if the cafeteria has a cake, will you?"

⠀⠀Chōyuki had been right: food helped, and not moving was a good idea. But it was too late on the latter. 'Things' move around in ways they weren't supposed to, and I experienced firsthand what coma patients had to endure. It was a relentless time as hours passed, procedures and checkups were done, but neither helped.

⠀⠀Now I stood on my bed, my blanket wrapped around me like an oversized cloak. Focused on my senses and not myself, I tried to make out every minute detail I could. Feeling what others felt, not just emotion but touch. It was the same process I used to learn 'sensing chakra.'

⠀⠀The constant feeling of being examined by doctors was nonstop. Bouts of random pain would arise, only to be ignored. Stress was omnipresent between both the medical-nin and patients. The physical tension of tight muscles and exhaustion it brought was almost damning. Offset by those joyful few, happy and warm. Yet too many were cold. Over and over, winter's kiss crept its way down my spine.

⠀⠀The cumulative feelings was overwhelming, and very few individuals were enough of a distraction to ignore it. I was grateful when I finally sensed Minato. Focusing solely on him was relaxing, yet a reminder that my mind's eye was restrictive. His chakra tasted as wonderful as ever before, but the level of depth I could dive into wasn't the same. Even this, his emotions soured the flavor.

⠀⠀Minato had an almost dower, melancholy aura about him. Whatever calmness I once sensed in him was gone. Vanished into a knotted ball of worry, stress, and apprehension. His back was stiff, tension pledged his posture, and his chakra had receded into ice cream. His right wrist and elbow ached, his toes were freezing, and his left cheek was tender.

⠀⠀Then he entered the hospital. Not even the warm walls were enough to melt his cold shoulder. The few people he walked past, who apparently knew him, had a spark of familiarity but avoided eye contact. There was an air about Minato, something negative. It was unexpected.

⠀⠀When he opened the door, something short of a zombie stepped in. While I hoped each of my little insights into his features were inaccurate, I wasn't ready for his disheveled appearance. I wanted to be wrong. The bags under Minato's eyes were massive, he looked dead, and his chakra seemed almost diminished. Worse than that, his heart turned sorrowful when he saw me.

⠀⠀"Minato-san, are you okay?" I asked him, already knowing the answer. "You look like the one that just came out of a coma. Not me." From the corner of my eye, Chōyuki nodded.

⠀⠀"Hikigaeru-chan," he began, not letting his tiredness reflect his inflection, "I'm glad to see you're up."

⠀⠀"Glad to be up," I agreed. Minato then closed the door behind him. "But enough about me," I continued. "Why do you look like shit? Have you been sleeping? Have you been eating? I know you're hungry. I can feel it." Chōyuki tilted his head, only for his eyes to narrow towards Minato. He, otherwise, said nothing.

⠀⠀"I'm fine, Hikigaeru-chan," he yawned, letting down his held-together demeanor. I still crossed my arms under the blanket. "Just tired. It's been a long day. A long — month."

⠀⠀"Did Kushna-san slap you? Is that why your cheek is sore?"

⠀⠀"Not Kushina..." he exhaled.

⠀⠀"At least they don't blame her, ay, Minato-san?" Chōyuki offered, and Minato nodded. The words helped calm his mind, but nothing else.

⠀⠀"Blame who? Me or someone else?" I asked them. "Did something happen while I was out?" I immediately followed up.

⠀⠀"First: how are you doing?" Minato redirected.

⠀⠀I pursed my lips, then said, "I'm fine. Just uncomfortable."

⠀⠀"Everything came out green, Minato-san," Chōyuki added for me. "No memory loss, physical health is good. Just a lot of questions."

⠀⠀"I wouldn't say everything," Sparrow disagreed.

⠀⠀"The rest is up to you," Chōyuki pressed, ignoring the Anbu.

⠀⠀"That's good... Hikigaeru-chan, in detail, could you please tell me how you're feeling?" I sighed, knowing I wasn't going to get a clear answer.

⠀⠀"I'm cold. Being around so many people, feeling what they feel... It's — overwhelming. No, more like, I think, chaotic? It's a lot. I also wish I could use the bathroom right now."

⠀⠀"The bathroom's just outside your room, Hikigaeru-chan," Minato gestured.

⠀⠀"Like I said, 'not everything is green,'" Sparrow repeated.

⠀⠀"She moved around too much when she woke up," Chōyuki clarified. "The doctors said she'll be fine."

⠀⠀Minato gave a short nod, then politely asked the men, "Sparrow. Chōyuki. Could you two step out? Bugs too, Sparrow. No risks if something goes wrong."

⠀⠀"Yes, Minato-san," Chōyuki agreed, while Sparrow politely nodded. The latter then left through the door while the former opened the window and crawled out. After a small swarm followed behind him, he closed it and lept across the street.

⠀⠀"Please lay down, Hikigaeru," Minato requested as he took Chōyuki's seat near the bed.

⠀⠀"I'm fine standing," I disagreed.

⠀⠀"Hikigaeru, please lay down."

⠀⠀"Minato-san, I can't," I grumbled. "The catheter came out wrong, and now everything feels funny. The doctor said if standing helps, I should stand. So I'm standing..."

⠀⠀Minato blinked at me, not knowing what to say. The seriousness of his chakra dipped, then swelled back up when he relaxed his shoulders and let himself sink into the chair. The dual nature of it helped me notice the velvet feel of his clothes. He was dressed dapperly: all black and lacked his headband.

⠀⠀"Jiraiya-sensei wanted me to answer your questions," he began in a much more mild tone. "I'm sure you have a few."

⠀⠀"Yeah. What was I turning into? Fukasaku said it wasn't stone. I think. When I tried to run away, I felt distant."

⠀⠀"Wood," he bluntly stated. "Precautions have been taken to ensure that doesn't happen again."

⠀⠀"Wood? Not stone? Wood, wood?" I followed up. At Minato's nod, I had to squill. "Does that mean I have a wood nature? I can be like Hashirama-sama?"

⠀⠀"We think so," he hummed. "Orochimaru-sama is finding out the details." I stiffened at the idea, but my excitement didn't falter. "You do possess a water and earth nature. That was the first thing he checked."

⠀⠀I smirk at the revelation. I couldn't help myself. "Cool," I giggled with glee. "So, ah, what... what are the precautions?"

⠀⠀"A seal. Think of it as a box, like Kushina, but instead of a fox, it's for your nature energy. We had to restrict your chakra to make sure it won't leak. We didn't know if you would still be able to sense chakra after we applied it. Does your ability feel different? Does it make you tired? Headaches?"

⠀⠀"My range is shorter. It feels like a wall is keeping me in. It's familiar too, but I don't know where I recognize it."

⠀⠀"Your parents, Kushina, and I are the ones that created the seal. You're probably sensing our chakra."

⠀⠀"Maybe. Other than that, uh, chakra's flavor feels off, too. It's a texture thing, I think. No? No." I shook my head. "Same flavor, same feeling, but there's less to taste. And I can physically feel what others do." I made a face, trying to maintain my focus on Minato. "I can feel everyone's cold. It's goddamn adding together!"

⠀⠀"Can you explain?" Minato asked, his interest peaked. "In more detail."

⠀⠀I took a deep breath, then breathed, "I can feel the clothes you wear. They're soft, but they don't help against the cold. I can feel the patient next door. He's older than me, tired of laying in bed, but can't move. I feel something tight around his arm, and one of his legs is propped up. I think they're broken, but there's no pain. The medication he's on is helping.

⠀⠀"Then there's Chōyuki. I can feel him eating something. He likes the taste, but he's eating too fast. I can't tell what it is, but — there's grease on his fingers. There's a burning feeling down his throat. His breathing is clearer. I think he's eating something spicy. And then there's everyone else... Everyone's cold, and it's all just a wave. I can feel it all."

⠀⠀I opened my eyes to see a glint in Minatos'. He was interested and looked as if he wanted to take notes. His chakra, thankfully, melted back into the shake. "Before," I continued before he could ask questions, "I couldn't make out the details of their build. Now, I can. It's odd. Feeling things I don't have is perplexing, though. How can you," I furrowed my brows, "walk with those bits between your legs?"

⠀⠀Minato blinked at me, again not knowing what to say. Eventually, slowly, he offered, "Carefully?"

⠀⠀"Okay?" I shivered as I shifted my mind's eye back into a radar-like view. "It's just the cold and random bits of pain that are distracting," I moved on, not letting his worry distract me. "I'm trying to ignore it. I really am, but it's — awful. I'm just glad it's not like Mama. I can handle it so long as it's not her chakra."

⠀⠀"That's... good to hear," Minato said with a relieved expression. His chakra, otherwise, disagreed with him.

⠀⠀"Hey, where is Mama and Papa, anyways?" I asked, changing topics.

⠀⠀Minato's answer didn't come immediately. "Lady Tsunade is continuing her therapy outside the village." Almost reflexively, as if threatened, Minato's chakra hardened, and a sour note tugged at him. "Jiraiya-sensei is on a mission."

⠀⠀"Hey, Minato-san. Are you alright? You're worried," I asked him.

⠀⠀Minato eyed me, seemingly debating whether or not to continue. "You don't have to worry about me, Hikigaeru," he deflected.

⠀⠀"Then, at least tell me why your cheek and wrist hurt," I argued. "Or at least what happened. Because something happened when I was asleep."

⠀⠀"It's alright, Hikigaeru. I've taken care of it. You don't have-"

⠀⠀"Did someone die?" I interrupted, my voice raised to a near yell. "Is that why you look like you've seen a ghost? Did I kill someone?"

⠀⠀With raised hands, Minato gestured for me to calm down. "Not so loud, Hikigaeru. We're in a hospital."

⠀⠀"Then tell me."

⠀⠀"You — didn't kill anyone, Hikigaeru," Minato relented, and with a quiet exhale, he went still in the chair.

⠀⠀"Chōyuki said 'they' don't blame me. Whose they?" I huffed. "If Kushina didn't slap you, then who did? I know it's not Mama. You didn't put me in a coma. And you look like you've been through something. Your chakra isn't as good as it was. You're stressed. You-"

⠀⠀"Okay, okay," Minato cut me off, looking more amused than pressured. "You're still recovering, Hikigaeru-kun. I'll tell you if you relax. Okay?"

⠀⠀"We'll see."

⠀⠀Minato slyly smiled. His chakra slowly, if begrudgingly, began to melt. "How much do you know about the clans of Konohagakure?" he then asked.

⠀⠀"Enough, probably. Why?"

⠀⠀"Originally, Yamanaka Ichiro — he's the clan head for the Yamanaka clan — was supposed to go on a mission for Konoha. Today was Yamanaka-san's funeral. Your father went in his place."

⠀⠀"I thought you said I didn't kill anyone," I snapped.

⠀⠀"I did. You didn't kill Ichiro-sama," he repeated.

⠀⠀"Oh. Okay? What happened to him? How'd he die?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

⠀⠀"He was ordered by the Lord Hokage to help you get out of the coma Fukasaku-sama put you into." My eyes widened at the idea of someone being in my mind. Yet before I could panic, Minato tensed. A familiar feeling lingered in him, and it was a regret I knew far, far too well. While I was grateful what I sensed wasn't the 'self-hate' like before, I almost wished it was.

⠀⠀"I had to maintain your seal while he woke you. I failed, and your chakra attacked him," he continued. "He tried to kill you. I stopped him. Your chakra slowed him down." His fists clenched, and while I was disappointed, I couldn't help but stay quiet. "As an apology for what happened, I asked to go on the mission instead. I couldn't. Your father went instead. He'll return by the end of the month."

⠀⠀He paused, and an ominous fervor whistled its way through him. It was almost telling, almost as if I could see what plagued him. His grip tightened further, and the familiar feeling of holding a kunai arose. Even though his hands were empty.

⠀⠀"You had to kill him, didn't you?"

⠀⠀Minato didn't answer me, but he didn't need to. The conclusion hit his chakra like a tuner fork. The buzz that popped through him was an open book. It made me sad, knowing everything he felt, sharing it, and seeing his emotionless face. He could have looked fine had it not been for the blackened bags.

⠀⠀Walking to the edge of my bed, I hopped down, then marched to Minato. Even sitting down, he towered over me, but it didn't matter. "I'm sorry," I said as I hugged his leg. "Thank you for saving me."

⠀⠀As Minato brought his hand down on my head, appreciation filled part of the hole in his heart. "You're welcome, Ashly," he thanked me. I sharply inhaled, my eyes going wide. "Just try to make Sensei and Tsunade happy, and I'll continue keeping what I know a secret. Deal?"

⠀⠀"Y-you know?" I choked in a whisper.

⠀⠀"Do we have a deal, Ashly-kun?" he repeated, still giving me that sly smile. I could only nod. "Good." He leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "Knowing my world is linked to yours through 'manga' was a surprise." Anger flashed through his chakra, but he still looked relaxed. "I want to right the wrongs that are to come. Danzō, the Uchiha, Orochimaru, Sensei's other students... Will you help me?"

⠀⠀Again, I could only nod, my voice caught in my throat. "Good." He patted my head. "Now, let's check your seal, Hikigaeru-kun."

Author's Note

⠀⠀This took longer than expected. I hope you enjoyed. Follow and favorite if you did.