Chapter 29

Luxury Hotel – Aldera

After putting the twins to bed, Anakin and Padmé went downstairs to the large sitting room.

"It was quite the funeral," Anakin remarked.

"Bail deserved it," Padmé said. "He was a wonderful man, and a great chancellor."

"Agreed," Anakin said. "So, will you be running for office now? As chancellor?"

"I don't know yet," Padmé said. "I haven't even thought about it, to tell you the truth."

"I imagine there will be an election now that the funeral is over," Anakin remarked.

"Yes, that will be the first order of business when the Senate resumes," she replied.

A few moments of awkward silence passed before Anakin stood up.

"Well, I should probably get going," Anakin said. "It's getting late."

"You don't need to go yet," Padmé said. "Sit down, Ani. Let's talk."

Anakin wasn't terribly comfortable with her suggestion, but he sat down nonetheless. He cast his eye around the opulent room. "Nice place," he said.

Padmé nodded. "It is," she agreed. "So, tell me what's going on with you these days."

Anakin looked at her. "Well, just trying to get back on my feet, mostly," he said.

"I understand," she replied. "Do you have any idea how many Jedi are left?"

"No," Anakin replied. "We're going to send out a message when the temple is ready. Hopefully there are still Jedi out there to hear it."

"I hope so," Padmé replied. "I'm just happy this nightmare is coming to an end."

Anakin nodded. "Me too," he said. "And I meant what I said earlier," he continued. "I want to share custody of Luke and Leia. We should get that sorted out as soon as possible."

Padmé was silent for a few moments. "So…you're saying that there's no chance for us," she said.

Anakin frowned. "You made that determination months ago, Padmé," he said.

"I've told you how terrible I feel about that," she said, growing upset. "Why don't you believe me? Why are you insisting on punishing me for making a mistake?"

"A mistake? Is that what you call ripping my heart out, Padmé?" he replied bitterly. "I begged you not to end our marriage! And then, after it looked like things were going well between us, you divorced me anyway! If anyone is being punished, it's me."

"I forgot! I told you that!" she cried. "Why don't you believe me?"

"Forgetting something that huge? Really?" he replied.

"So now I'm a liar," she retorted angrily.

Anakin sighed. "I'm leaving now," he said, standing up again. "Goodnight, Padmé."

Padmé watched him leave, and them dropped her face into her hands and wept.

Economy Hotel – Aldera

"Hi," Ahsoka said as Anakin walked through the door.

"Hi," Anakin said. "Obi-Wan gone to bed already?"
"Yes, he was pretty worn out," Ahsoka said.

"I'm sure," Anakin replied.

"So? How did it go?" she asked. "Did you get to see the babies?"

Anakin smiled as he sat down with her in the small room. "I did," he said. "they're so big now. I even changed a diaper and helped with their bath."

Ahsoka smiled. "That's amazing! So, they remembered you?"

"Well, I'm not sure they remembered me, but they knew me," he replied. "They sensed the connection. They're so strong already, Ahsoka," he said. "I'm sure their medichlorian counts are really high."

"Of course, they're the children of the Chosen One," Ahsoka replied. "So…things were good between you and Padmé?"

Anakin made no reply initially, which led Ahsoka to believe that they were not.

"Please tell me you didn't fight," she said.

"No, we didn't exactly fight," Anakin replied. "Things were great for a while, until I brought up custody."

"She doesn't want to give you joint custody?" Ahsoka asked. "I can't believe Padmé would do that!"

"We didn't even get that far," Anakin said. "She got upset at the mention of custody, and asked me if that meant things were done between us. Can you believe that? She's the one who wanted the divorce, not me, and she's asking me that now? After all the shit she's put me through?"

Ahsoka frowned, for she was sure Anakin didn't want to hear what she had to say. But she decided to say it anyway. "Maybe she wants a reconciliation," she said.

Anakin looked at her. "A little late for that, don't you think?" he said.

"Is it? You love her, don't you?" she replied.

"That's not the issue," he said. "She shattered my heart. I …I can't go through that again."

Ahsoka's heart ached for her beloved friend and master. She knew that this went far deeper than his issues with his ex-wife; Anakin was more fragile emotionally than she'd ever seen him.

"I understand," she said at last. "I'm sorry, Anakin."

"I'm going to bed," he said, standing up. "Night, Snips."

"Night, Anakin."

Ahsoka sat alone in the small living room for a while, deep in thought. It bothered her tremendously to see two of the people she loved in so much pain. Anakin and Padmé belong together, she thought with a frown. There have never been two people who belong together more than they do…

Deciding upon a course of action that she hoped wouldn't anger her friend and one time master, Ahsoka stood up and left the room. She only hoped that she wasn't about to make things far worse than they already were.

Luxury Hotel – Aldera

The row she'd had with Anakin had upset Padmé a great deal, and she found it impossible to sleep. Instead, she wandered around the huge suite, playing over the conversation in her mind: I want to share custody of Luke and Leia. We should get that sorted out as soon as possible. It was a reasonable request, for Anakin had every right to share in the custody of their children. But the finality of it struck at her heart, for it truly meant the end for them. But what did you expect? She told herself. You pushed him away; you broke his heart …are you actually surprised that he'd be bitter?

Padmé's ruminations were interrupted by a light knock on the door. She frowned, wondering who would be here at this hour, and why security had allowed them to come up to her suite. She walked over to the door and peered through the security screen, smiling when she saw who was on the other side. She opened the door at once.

"Ahsoka!" Padmé said, throwing her arms around her young friend, "it's so wonderful to see you!"

Ahsoka returned Padmé's embrace. "It's been too long," she said. "I've missed you!"

Padmé pulled back and looked at her friend with a smile. "You've grown up," she said. "Look at you!"

Ahsoka smiled. "It was bound to happen sooner or later," she commented.

Padmé laughed. "Come in, come in!" she said, linking her arm through Ahsoka's. "We have so much catching up to do."

"Yes, we do," Ahsoka agreed. "But I'm here to talk to you about something quite specific," she said as they sat down together. "About someone specific."

Padmé nodded. "You mean Anakin," she said.

"Yes," Ahsoka said. "Anakin."

"He was here earlier," Padmé said. "He was so excited about seeing the twins. It was so beautiful seeing the three of them connect."

Ahsoka nodded. "He told me about it," she said.

"Did he also tell you how ugly things got?" Padmé asked, all trace of smile gone from her face.

"He did," Ahsoka said, casting her eyes down. "I'm so sorry about that."

Padmé looked at her friend for a moment. "Did he ask you to come here?" she asked.

Ahsoka looked up. "No, he has no idea I'm here," she said.

"Then I'm afraid I don't understand," Padmé said.

"There are things you need to know, things about Anakin," Ahsoka said.

"What do you mean, things about Anakin? What things?" Padmé asked in alarm.

Ahsoka sighed. "It's about his mental health," she said. "He's very depressed, and has been for a long time."

Padmé frowned. "And you blame me for that," she said.

"I'm not here to blame you, Padmé," Ahsoka said. "I'm here to make you, hopefully, understand why Anakin is acting the way he is right now."

"You're saying he's pushing me away because he's depressed?" Padmé asked.

"It's more than depression," Ahsoka said. "He was evaluated by a psychiatrist when we were in the hospital," she said. "I think he may have PTSD."

Padmé looked at her in shock. "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?" she asked.

Ahsoka nodded. "I think Obi-Wan and I may have it too, but not to the same extent. Considering what's been happening over the past 18 months, I wouldn't be surprised."

"It's been a terrible time for the Jedi," Padmé replied. "For the whole galaxy."

"It has," Ahsoka agreed. "But for Anakin, it's been worse. He lost you; he's been estranged from his children – now I'm not blaming you, Padmé, please understand this. I'm just trying to get you to see where his mind and his heart are at right now. He's in a bad place emotionally. I'm hoping that he will be getting therapy when we go back to Coruscant. He needs it. He's drowning without it."

Padmé stood up at this point, too upset to remain seated. "Poor Ani," she said softly as tears filled her eyes. "I never stopped to think …" she turned back to Ahsoka. "What have I done, Ahsoka?" she asked. "I've broken the heart of the only man I'll ever love!"

Ahsoka stood up and took Padmé by the hands. "Anakin loves you, Padmé," she said. "Despite everything, I know he does. But right now, he's still so broken that he's terrified of being hurt all over again. You need to give him time to recover, and be patient with him."

Padmé nodded as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I know," she said. "And I will be patient. I love him so much, Ahsoka, I …I want him back so badly! The twins need their father in their lives."

"They do, and he wants that more than anything," Ahsoka said. "So perhaps try and find a way for that to happen while he's working through this. Having Luke and Leia in his life will go a long way to helping him recover."

"Of course," she said. "I will make sure he is as much as part of their lives as I am. It's only fair, and he deserves it."

"That will make him so happy, Padmé, you have no idea," Ahsoka replied.

Padmé smiled. "I think I do," she said. "How did you get to be so wise?" she asked.

Ahsoka shrugged. "Like you said, I'm grown up now."

"So you are," she said. She embraced the young woman. "Thank you, Ahsoka," she said. "Thank you for telling me all this. I won't say a word to Anakin, I swear it."

"Thanks," Ahsoka said. "He'd probably kick my behind if he knew."

Padmé laughed. "He probably would."