My name is Fuma Tomo- or at least, it is now. And I am [The Gamer]. It is a power that grants me the ability to live out my life as though I am in a MMORPG video game.
This ability has brought me pain. It's brought me frustration. It's brought me fear.
But it's also brought me knowledge, and satisfaction, and joy.
Either way, ever since I've had it, it's changed me profoundly, shaping who I am.
Thing is, up until 4 years ago, that had not been the case; both referring to [The Gamer] ability, as well as being Fuma Tomo. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
When I first arrived into this world, I was scared. Confused. How can one describe the sensation of just ceasing to be, for however long that lasted, and then suddenly being again?
But most of all… I'd lost my everything.
I don't know how it happened- if I'd ever known, I most certainly don't now. That knowledge, together with anything I could possibly call my… "backstory", if you will, had been ripped straight from my brain. Left behind was instead everything that was factual that I had learned.
And it was all useless.
The Welsh word Hiraeth describes a feeling of longing and nostalgia for a something irretrievably lost- a home one can no longer return to.
Anemoia describes instead a feeling of longing and nostalgia for something that you have not taken part in- for example, a yearning for the "good ol' times", even if you weren't even born by then.
Combine the two of them, and you get my situation. I yearn to return to a home I cannot possibly return to, that I remember nothing of, in a place I only know to be so far away it's not even funny.
Couple that with having to deal with being a baby, with imbalanced hormones, teeth coming in, and the cognitive dissonance of being an adult in mind, but a baby in body?
It's enough to drive anyone mad.
At first, I completely attributed the game's notifications as a side effect of my mind having hit its lowest point yet at the ripe old age of 1; back when I realized that the faces carved into the stones on the mountainside weren't of random people, but the three Hokage. I wasn't just shunted into a world different than my own, but the world of a manga that I only knew the general lines of the plot, and that I knew for a fact that everyone not named Naruto Uzumaki was pretty fucked. That wasn't something I could accept.
That trend of rejecting the reality around me continued well into my second birthday. I dismissed just about anything [The Game] threw at me, and I was… just about the most useless baby one could find.
To say that my mother, Fuma Kiyomi, was distraught was an understatement. I had already picked up on this, but she was a single mother for some reason. Couple that with being a (technically) active duty kunoichi and having been one for however long it took for her to conceive me and having a baby that went between inconsolable sobbing and near-catatonic refusal to do anything?
She was a stronger person than me, that's for sure. Unlike me, she had not reached her breaking point, but I definitely left her heartbroken.
The Yamanaka infant psychologist (or whatever equivalent of one was here) I was brought to was similarly baffled, and I was spared from having unearthed from my mind whatever they could find with a Mind Walk only by the fact that the guy was reasonably unsure of the potential effects of mind-walking someone so young, and at the first sign of possible damage to me, Kiyomi's face just went blank as she turned her back on the man and walked away.
Overhearing her sobbing her heart out to Takeo that night… it lit a metaphorical fire under my ass.
So, on that day, I resolved to start taking this life seriously. Better late than never.
It took a while to transform that spark of motivation into something concrete, but when it happened, it happened. I gave quite the scare to Kiyomi when, after she returned from a mission, I walked towards her, calling her kaa-san, asking to be picked up to hug her.
It only took three attempts at dispelling a Genjutsu and a very tiny amount of killing intent leaking from her before she picked me hug and hugged me. In her words, it was as if that day kami himself
She became quite a bit more religious after that, but can I really blame her, considering that I was pretty sure that, if not Gods specifically, higher beings were a thing here?
After that day, I began looking more seriously into my abilities. It took me a very long while to resummon the HUD that I had dismissed so long ago, if only because I had forgotten what it took to do it. It was almost as though I had to coax it back into my life.
But eventually in my life come back it did. And with it, came the hovering texts, and all the weird things.
It took a bit of trial and error to figure out what would or wouldn't work with it.
Three of the options, [Save], [Load], and [Logout] were completely greyed out and no matter what, I could not use them. The reason for it, I cannot fathom. Why bother showing up at all?
Present Time
"Tomo…" Uncle Takeo mumbled as he walked over to me. "Is that what it looked like last time too?" he asked gently, taking my bleeding hands into his own. Reaching into his mission pouch, he pulled out a roll of gauze. I hissed when he touched me, as my hands screamed with pain as the adrenaline and single-minded determination to have my body again crashed down.
-1HP!
"Ow…" I hissed, but did not answer. Kiyomi…
I'd spent the past two years trying to help her any way I could to recover from the damage that the world had done to her. That I had done to her. And now, she lay dead in my hands, crushed by the Kyubi's stampede.
My next breath came in a shudder as I was left staring at the bloodied mess that was my hands, and uncle bandaging them up. He wouldn't know that I just came close to hemorrhaging myself to death. "She's gone."
He looked oddly contemplative, but sighed. "Sometimes, that's just how it is in our line of duty. She died to protect you." He closed his eyes. "Michio did the same for us, and I'll tell you what Kiyomi told me then." He stared at me, much more serious. "Do not dare tarnish her sacrifice by blaming yourself for it, as though it couldn't possibly be what she wanted. She tried to protect you." As he said that, he finished wrapping my hands up. They were already stained red. Tears began filling my eyes once more. It hurt. I'd barely felt it while I was digging, but it hurt now. And it was cause enough to open the floodgates.
"She shouldn't have!" I shouted back. "She knew-!"
"Knew what, Tomo?" he glared at me. "That the same miracle that saved you once would happen again? That the unknown bloodline limit you have would save you more than once?"
"You just don't care, do you?!" I challenged, tears forming in my eyes. "Oh, 'As long as the kid with the powerful bloodline limit is still alive, who gives a shit that my sister in law died for no rea-'
-7HP! (nonlethal)
Your Skill Level has increased!
Pain Resistance, Lv.4
-You are used to gritting your teeth and working through the pain, causing you to suffer less of its effects.
I flinched at the slap that sent my head rocketing to the side, eyes widening. "Don't you dare say what she should or should not have done for you."
The tears stopped flowing, my thoughts nonexistent and my mind reeling, as I processed that he'd slapped me. And he didn't even look contrite about it.
"…I hate you." I stood up, glaring at him before my gaze drifted off to the rest of the house.
There was nothing left for me here.
My room was completely flattened, everything I'd ever owned (which admittedly wasn't much) gone. So was kaa-san's room. In a cruel twist of fate, the only two things that were spared were most of the outer walls, though I couldn't say the same about the roof, and most of Takeo's room.
Being outside, the inner courtyard with the targets for practice were also spared. I haven't used this portion of the house since the incident.
Fool that I am.
Did I really think that just because I wasn't actively putting myself in harm's way, that I wouldn't be swatted like a fly for just daring to exist?
One and a half years ago
Obtaining skills was… difficult. This body was not made for complex or exhausting physical ability, and after a bit of training, I found that was quite literally the case.
[Skill Failure Alert!]
Sprinting, Lv. N/A
Your ability to move faster while moving along the ground.
Current movement speed bonus: 0%
WARNING: Sprinting DEX requirement: 2
WARNING: Sprinting STR requirement: 2
Note: Exp will be stored until Skill unlock requirements are met.
So that was a bust. Imagine the hilarious image of a toddler attempting to train up his (her? That was still something weird I was trying to come to term with) physical abilities.
But. Something I could do, instead, was questing. And there were skills that I could perform. Even if their levelling up was… very slow.
I was the best baby at hide and seek.
At least I had quests to perform to keep my mind occupied! Sure, they mostly involved baby activities, like learning to say a certain word (knowing the word and knowing how to say the word were different skills apparently) or doing a certain thing.
Still, the system was definitely stingy with the Exp it gave out. We're talking like, 10 to 20 Exp per weekly quest.
But after nearly a year's worth of efforts and getting my bearings back, I had become level 4. Which leads me into the Level Up mechanics.
My first level up looked something like this:
[Your level has increased to Level 2!]
5 Skill Points Available!
1 Question Available.
The skill points were something I could understand- I could dump them in whatever stat I wanted to raise. Detestably, that was also the way that I learned that the possibility to increase my STR, DEX and VIT scores were all gated behind an age requirement of 3. Apparently, the limit would gradually expand as I grew, but not to any satisfactory degree.
Now, the question on the other hand…
To put in the clearest way possible, the question was exactly that. I got to ask one question to the system, and it would answer truthfully.
I don't remember the answers to the questions I asked back then, for reasons that should become apparent in a minute.
My first three questions were:
"Why am I here?"
"Who brought me here?"
"Who am I?"
As I said, I don't remember the answers, but I do remember growing increasingly frustrated with them. The only reason I even remember the questions that I asked is because they are logged for me in the Karma section of the menu.
And sadly… on the eve of my third birthday, I was wrapping up the last quest that was I was required to perform to get to Lv.5.
Bull's Eye!
As an up and coming kunoichi of the Fuma Clan, throwing objects is in your blood. Hit a target more than 10 meters away in the dead center with a Kunai.
Time Limit: 1 day
Reward: 10Exp, Shurikenjutsu Training Level Up
What could possibly go wrong, one might ask?
Well, I was already quite tuckered out, my fatigue even managing to bleed over to the system depicting me as [Fatigued] (-1 to DEX, -1 to STR). It was after dinner, quite close to my bedtime and I'd been at this all day trying to improve my Shurikenjutsu Training skill.
So I just threw. And threw. And threw…
And suddenly the system informs me of THIS bullshit.
Critical Failure!
I also don't know what kind of goofy cartoon physics are required to make a weapon bounce in the way that it did, but it happened. The next thing my ears pick up on is a
Ding
Ding
Ding
Critical hit! -23HP!
…of course, I was a little more concerned with the fact that, for some reason, my own kunai was now sticking grossly out of my right eye and piercing into my brain.
I did not get to scream. I just felt my limbs go slack.
My mother, however, who just sort of materialized in front of me? She definitely did.
And then there was darkness.
Present Time
I wanted to make kaa-san proud. To be proud of myself. I wanted to grow, and become someone. A primal part of me wanted to see those numbers grow, to become high levelled and everything.
Standing up, I began to move away.
"Where do you think you are going?" Takeo asked, scowling at me. If it was meant to be threatening, I couldn't feel it. He wasn't using killing intent anyways.
Maybe him using that tone would've made me flinch yesterday.
Now?
I just felt empty.
You are empty inside.
Right, that thing. The whole thing that makes me able to respawn in the first place.
"To see if the rest of the people I love are also dead." I hissed back at him, before turning around once more to stalk off.
A moment later, I felt an arm wrap around my midsection for a moment. Everything blurred, and by the time I'd gotten my bearings again, I was somewhere else entirely, Takeo gone.
…asshole. Couldn't even ask permission to shunshin me.
I hated being weak.
Listlessly, I murmured [Status] to myself.
Fuma Tomo,Fuma Clan Kid (The Gamer), Level 5
Health Points (HP): 3/30 (15)
Chakra Pool (CP): 3/10
Experience Points (Exp): 0/600
Money: 0 Ryo
STR: 2 (1)
VIT: 3 (1.5)
DEX: 4 (2)
INT: 6
WIS: 4
CHA: 2 (1)
CC: 0%
LCK: 5
Status: Chakra Burnt (Halves STR, VIT, DEX and CHA), Injured Hands (Activities using hands may cause HP loss)
Points to Spend: 19
Questions Unasked: 4
[Skills] – 13*
[Boons] – 1*
[Titles] – 1
Level 5. That was… worse than my previous level of 7, but better than last time where recovering my body only brought me back to level 2. Did it give back an arbitrary amount of exp?
…no, wait. The exp requirements are 100 more exp each time. If last time I died at level 4, it would give back only 450 exp, which isn't even enough to reach level 3 on its own. Now, I died at level 7, which is…
Ugh.
Trying to calculate things with this low an INT sucks.
…
…
Almost enough exp to get to level 5. If you then count the exp from the quests it gave me in the hospital… yeah, ok, I get it.
Thanks for not making me have to pick up from scratch each time, I suppose.
The music track, barely above a whisper in my ear, caused me to shudder. I disabled it.
And then appearing in front of me all of a sudden, was a man. Well, man was a strong word- a teen, though by Konohan standards he was more than an adult. He still wore the flak jacket with the Uchiha fan on its back that signified him as a member of the Konoha Police Force.
Uchiha Inabi, Konoha Police Officer, Lv ?
"Gaki." He sighed.
"Bastard." I glared at him, for a moment, before scoffing.
"Let's get you inside." He bent down to pick me up, properly for once, and my breath hitched. All of a sudden, I felt how little I was, and tears began streaming down my eyes once more.
"I died again. Kaa-san died too." I whispered in his ear. He flinched for a moment, before resuming his gait.
"Takeo?" he murmured back. At that I flinched, and my crying turned into ugly sobbing as I shook my head. "Tsk. Somehow, it's always the assholes who refuse to die. Come on, let's get you inside."
"Shouldn't we report to the Hokage?" I sobbed.
He sighed. "Kid, the Hokage's dead too."
What?
I… I hadn't made plans for Naruto's dad per se, but…
I thought I had more time.
Fuck.
"Hiruzen-sama?" I asked, my breath hitching. He hummed, his face still frowning.
"We can try to check. Doesn't hurt to figure out who goes where in the chain of command."
Highlander Tomo? Highlander Tomo.
We find out that death is not the end for her... as long as she can keep finding her own cadaver with no memories, at level 1. I wonder what would happen if she died on a mission... but that's not gonna happen for a while, will it?
If you want to support me and read more of what happens ahead, please support The Nick Of Name on the place of patrons!
Drink Water, Stay Awesome, Nick out :)