A/N: Apologies (again) for the delay on this chapter. I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to show Regina's birthday, because just as you all are eager for Emma to end things with Audrey so her and Regina could become official for good, I am, too lol. Anyway, then I decided I would show it in this chapter, because I wanted them to have some moments together. :) SQ moments are the best kind to write. And as you can guess, there will be plenty more to look forward to, especially when in the next chapter to come, Emma will officially break up with Audrey. Happy reading!
Turning forty-one years old was no picnic to Regina. Anyway, who wanted to be one more year older? She certainly didn't. Especially not when the woman she was having feelings for was much younger than she was. She didn't need to be one more year older than Emma.
Not to mention, it was also her anniversary today. Marking twenty-five long years, living in her own personal hell.
Regina looked at herself in the mirror of her bathroom that morning (thanking all that was good) that she woke up alone. Leopold had gone off to work and today was one of those days he would be arriving late. She looked in the mirror for any sign of a noticeable wrinkle, maybe a gray hair that wanted to start sprouting. Anything, really. She just needed a sign that would dead-on confirm that she was older, not attractive and still right-down miserable.
The miserable part being a reassurance.
Regina could remember, the last time she was truly happy about something, was when Audrey was born.
"There she is! Happy birthday, mom!" Audrey and Emma are waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, each of them wearing matching smiles, which is enough to make Regina's day feel special.
"Please," Regina waves them off as she meets down on the last step. "I don't want any celebrations."
"Oh, come on, you're starting to sound like Emma," Audrey bumps her shoulder playfully with Emma, who's cheeks turn a shade of pink. "Plus, it's your anniversary! Is dad taking you somewhere tonight to celebrate?" Audrey winks, and Emma frowns. As does Regina.
"Audrey, you know you're father. Work first." Says the brunette, her eyes looking over to Emma.
"He can't take one day off for your anniversary?" Audrey scoffed, shaking her head, turning the door as there's a knock. "Oh, I got it." She rushes to answer, greeting whoever is there with a smile.
Regina rather Leopold work. Given that it's their anniversary, Leopold would most likely want to get her in bed, and that was the last thing on her mind.
"Well, he may have to work," Emma and Regina turn to see Audrey holding two bouquets of flowers. One is of a various selection, while the other is a dozen white beautiful roses. "But, he certainly knows how to keep impressing you. Aren't these beautiful?"
"They are lovely." Regina forces a smile.
"There's no card, but of course these are from daddy," Audrey smiles. "I mean, who else would send you flowers on your birthday? I'm going to go put these in some water for you."
"I'll hold on to these," Emma reaches for the white roses, smiling at Audrey. "I think these would look great out here, don't you?"
Regina's brow furrows, while Audrey hands them over to Emma willingly. "I think you're right." Said Audrey, before turning over to her mother. "I know you don't want us to make a big deal of you turning-" She stops herself from saying Regina's age out loud once Regina clears her throat. "Well, you know how old you are. But, Emma and I are taking you out." She holds up a single digit.
"That's really not necessary." Regina shakes her head.
"No discussion, mom. Em and I talked about it, and she's on board." Audrey smiles at Emma, who smiles at Regina.
"You really don't have to do anything special for my birthday, Emma." Said Regina, once Audrey was out of sight.
"You heard Audrey. No discussion." There's that gentle look in Emma's green eyes.
"I seem to recall, you aren't fond of anyone doing anything special for your day, Ms. Swan." The corner to Regina's lip tilts into a tiny smirk, as does Emma's.
"Yes, but when was the last time someone did something for you on your birthday? Like… Surprise you with a dozen white roses, for example." Emma's green eyes land on the roses as she hands them over to Regina.
"It was you?" Regina's eyes grow wide, her stomach knotting up into bundles of nerves as she whispers, "You gave me these?" She sees a smirk stretch out on Emma's lips. "Emma, you can't-"
"It's your birthday," Emma whispers back. "You deserve them."
"I can't accept them, Emma," Regina tries to hand back the bouquet, but is stopped by Emma. Her breath catches in her throat once Emma takes two steps closer toward her. "Emma-"
"Just take them."
"What am I going to say to Leopold?"
Emma shrugs, "Simply tell him that they gave out a free bouquet with every purchase over fifty-four dollars."
Regina scoffs and rolls her eyes, but can't help but chuckle. "Emma, I'm serious. This is going to be a little hard to explain to my husband. He will want to know where they came from, and from who they came from."
"Relax, okay?" Emma reached out to touch Regina's elbow, her thumb softly moving back and forth, it sent Regina chills. "You just tell him they're from Audrey and me. Audrey knows I got you these roses."
"She does?"
Emma nods. "Yes. Of course, she thinks they're from both of us."
Regina shakes her head. "You'll be the death of me, Ms. Swan."
"Well," Emma quickly looks over her shoulder. "Lucky you, I happen to know of a way to revive you." Green eyes are piercing as they lock onto Regina's. Emma moves in, placing a long but delicate kiss against the corner of her lip. A kiss that turns Regina's knees into mush right where she stands.
Ever since their shared kisses behind every closed door happened more and more, Emma had seemed to become more brazen with herself around Regina. Something Regina feared, but admired all at once. She wished she could be more confident in kissing Emma, just like that first time she dared to kiss her in front of the lawn. Regina doubted she could ever be as brave.
Her hand landed right on the blonde's chest, gently pushing her away until their eyes met once again. "Sorry." Emma muttered, grateful to see a private smile emerge from Regina's lips in response.
"No, you're not." Emma's smile widens at Regina's words. It was true. She would never be sorry for taking any damn opportunity to kiss her.
"Okay!" Audrey clapped her hands as she entered the foyer, startling them both away from their moment. "So, Emma and I have agreed that we are taking you to eat lunch- no-" she lifts up a single digit in warning as soon as Regina wants to open her mouth. "It's not up for discussion, mom, we are taking you, and after that I know your most favorite place in the world is out at the Orchard, so dress comfy."
"I guess I have no other choice, do I?" Regina smiled.
"Afraid not." Emma smiles.
Lunch had been a pleasure for Regina to spend it in the company of Audrey and Emma. And with Leopold working for the entire day, it was like a breath of fresh air. She honestly could never care less about today. But with Emma around, surprising at every turn their day took with a simple look, or a knowing smile, or a kiss here and there- it was beginning to turn into the best day of her entire life. Not to mention their day at the Orchard- her favorite place in the world. They had ridden on horseback, and she had never felt more free. Audrey was surprised just how well Emma knew her around Rocky.
Daniel was there, which didn't lack the result of a little jealous look from Emma. But, given that it was Regina's day, she controlled herself anytime he gave her a hug. Besides, it was pretty ridiculous for her to feel jealous over someone who would never have Regina's heart. Emma saw that now.
"Ah, I am beat!" Audrey huffed as they entered the front doors that night, reaching the end of their day. She yanked on one boot, followed by the other. "My feet are killing me." She turns to her mother and Emma. "I think I'm going to enjoy a nice relaxing bath and go to bed. Good night, mom." She leans in to kiss Regina's cheek.
"Rest up, dear." Regina returns her kiss. "Thank you- to both of you- for today. It's more than I deserve." She smiles, and Emma can see a hint of pain in that smile.
Audrey is quick to wrap her mother in a hug, a genuine smile stretching out at the corners of her lips. "You deserve that and more, mom." She reaches for her mother's hand, giving it a squeeze, and Regina is quick to tear up. "Are you coming up, Em?" Audrey said to Emma.
"I think I'm going to stay up for a while. Enjoy the silence." Emma smiles.
"Alright," Audrey presses her lips up to Emma's in a chaste kiss and waves. "Night, all."
"Night." Said Emma.
"Good night, sweetheart." Said Regina.
Once Audrey is out of sight, and they hear the thump of the bedroom door closing, Emma and Regina's eyes meet with one another.
"She's right, you know." Said Emma.
"On?"
"You deserve much, much more."
Regina scoffs, shaking her head, her eyes meeting the floor. "How can I possibly deserve anything that brings a smile to my face, when what we're doing isn't right?"
Emma's hand tucks underneath Regina's chin and is quick to raise her gaze so that they meet again. "Because a woman like you was born to smile."
"Emma," Regina brushes away Emma's hand and backs away before her thin lips can come in contact with hers. "Stop acting as if no one can see us at any given moment. Especially when you and I aren't official yet." She whispers the word 'official.'
Emma smiles so wide it reaches her eyes. "I love hearing you say that. It means you've thought of accepting to be my girlfriend when I come back and ask you."
"Girlfriend," Regina murmurs under her breath, shaking her head at the thought of being anyone's girlfriend. Especially Emma's. What was she even thinking, considering saying yes to that type of proposal? Especially when Regina had no experience in that department. And according to Leopold, she wasn't even a good enough wife. How could she possibly be any different with Emma?
Emma on the other hand, couldn't wait to take that step forward. "Should we be expecting Chief Irons back anytime soon?" She asked Regina, tearing her away from whatever mental trip she was on.
Regina shakes her head. "No, he's- he's working long hours tonight."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. Why?" Regina's brow furrows. She sees Emma take a step closer, close enough to reach for her hand with such a free and careless will. "Emma-" Just as she's about to protest against whatever Emma clearly has planned, Emma doesn't allow it.
"Just come with me. I promise, we won't be gone all night. Please." Emma gave her best puppy eyes, which Regina couldn't help but smile at.
"But, Audrey-"
"Is going to sleep." Emma pulls on Regina's hand, her grip tightening as she guides the brunette toward the front door. "Come on, hurry. We'll be quick."
"Well-" Regina chuckles, loving the child-like glow in Emma's eyes as they head out the door. "Where are we going?"
Regina was instantly regretting her decision of leaving with Emma, but all of the nerves that settled inside of her stomach evaporated at the sight of the familiar cliff she had been to with Emma before. Only it wasn't the cliff nor the sight of the city lights that had her in awe anymore, but the fact that there was a round table set up and covered in a white and red checkered table cloth. Two wooden chairs were placed opposite each other. There were two candles placed right in the middle, along with a single white rose in a small thin vase.
Emma smiled once Regina's eyes tore away from the beautiful and thoughtful scene that until today, she had only read about in one of her books. "You didn't think I wouldn't jump at the chance to celebrate your day, just the two of us, did you?"
It was risky and Emma knew it. But, it took her a while to plan this, and she was confident that nothing would ruin this moment for them.
Regina dismounted the blonde's yellow bug once Emma opened the door for her. "You did all this?" She asked Emma.
"I had a little help." Emma's eyes moved over to Sidney, who waved and smiled at Regina. He was standing by a cart, holding two plates of food, and a bottle of wine chilling in ice.
"Sidney, wha-?" Regina breathes out a scoff.
"I hope you don't mind, ma'am. But, when Ms. Emma told me about this surprise for you, I simply couldn't resist."
"Is this okay?" Emma asked Regina, seeing her smile.
"Okay…?" Regina shakes her head, looking at everything that had been set up for her. "It's more than just 'okay,' Emma. It's breathtaking." She breathes out, giving Emma free reign to a smile.
"Do you wanna sit?" Emma waits for Regina to nod before she is pulling out her chair, patiently waiting for her to take a seat. She finds her own seat, right across from Regina.
With the city lights, shimmering from below and the candle lit table before them, Regina could see Emma's emerald eyes twinkle so much more. And Regina, she never looked more beautiful to Emma than she did at this moment. She wondered how on earth could someone be so beautiful and suffer as much as Regina has. She certainly deserved better, and Emma was ready and willing to give her just that. Starting with this small intimate birthday dinner.
Sidney happily placed their pastas before each of them, and gave them privacy. It was enough to startle Regina and help her realize that Emma had been staring at her in silence this entire time.
"Emma, this is absolutely unnecessary." Regina looks down at her plate of food and smiles. "How on earth did you manage to do all this?"
"I have my ways." Emma winks. "And nothing is unnecessary today." She freely reaches across the table for Regina's hand, giving it a squeeze.
"It is." Regina frowns, allowing a sadness to take over her dark eyes that Emma isn't a stranger to. "I don't deserve this, Emma-"
"Regina-" Emma shakes her head, going interrupted by the brunette.
"Audrey is in love with you. My daughter is in love with you." Emma frowns at this. This wasn't supposed to be happening. What was going on? "She is going to be heartbroken-"
"I know." Emma decided to jump in. Her eyes locked on Regina's brown orbs. "I know. I've thought about this- about Audrey- a lot these past couple of days. Regina, I can't keep lying to myself about how I feel about you. I won't. And you shouldn't beat yourself up over that, because this is my decision to make." Emma draws in a breath. "You could change your mind about me tomorrow, and I am still going to do what I have to do to be with you."
That was true. Emma has come to discover that for Regina, she would always be willing to go above and beyond for.
"Emma," Regina shakes her head. Her gaze tears away from her for a beat before it's locked in again.
"You aren't going to change my mind, Regina." Said Emma, sounding every bit serious.
"Why? Why would someone as wonderful, as young as you want to possibly waste her time with someone as broken as me?" Regina asked. "Why are you so willing to risk your own life, just to go behind Leopold's back and have some fun with his wife?" She chuckles. The choice of words sounded as harsh as the surprised look in Emma's eyes.
"Okay, whoa," Emma leaned back in her seat, releasing the brunette's hand. "First of all, I am grown woman. Okay? It's not like you would be dating a seventeen year old girl, Regina, I'm twenty-five."
"Date you?" Regina can't make sense of that word. She never knew what an actual date was. "And how do you suppose we do that, Emma? You'll drive up here every weekend? What if Audrey decides to come home?"
"You may be Audrey's mother, but you are a woman who has a life of her own." Said Emma.
"A life of my own?" Regina chuckles and shakes her head. "I haven't known what that's like for thirty-five years, Emma."
"Well, that's what I want to offer you. A chance to really know what it's like, to be with someone who-" Emma's words catch in her throat as she swallows down the heavy lump in her throat. Would she dare say it?
"Who… What?" Regina waited, intrigued.
Instead of answering directly, Emma chose to reach for the single rose that was placed inside the vase in the middle of the table. Her eyes looked down at the delicacy of the flower, avoiding Regina's gaze as she said, "Do you want to know why I chose white roses?" She waited a beat, dared to look up to see Regina nod. "I remember reading somewhere that white roses also represent a fresh new start. New beginnings and meanings to life." Emma smiles. "Well, that's what I want to give you, Regina. And if I have to do it behind every closed door in Boston, and change my entire life for you- I'll happily do it because…" She pauses, taking one, two, three breaths and wetting her lips before- her eyes fall on Regina's hand as it's coating her own.
If there was something Regina knew a lot about- were flowers.
"Eternal love." Regina murmurs, not quietly enough apparently, given the surprised glint in Emma's eye.
"What?" Emma's lips fall victim to dryness once again. Her breath hitched inside of her throat. Her heart was beating faster than ever before.
"That's also what white roses represent. Eternal love." Regina's eyes locked on Emma's frightened ones. For as long as she's known Emma Swan, she had never seen her afraid of anything before. Except that night she decided to take a late night dive inside of her pool, and was encouragingly saved by Emma herself.
It wasn't as if Emma had never fallen in love before. She did love Audrey, just not the way she thought she did. And Lily… Well, Lily was her first kiss, and that could never be forgotten. But did she love- love- her? Probably. But given how bad her palms were sweating right now, and how her heart could not find the brake pedal to its speedy beating, Emma knew one thing for certain: She had never felt the way she had begun to feel for Regina over anyone else.
Emma had never taken her time with anything or anyone. But, Regina… In such little time, she managed to change the racing she had against time.
Time had stopped entirely for Emma, since the day Regina opened that front door and their eyes met.
Emma didn't have to say what she knew she wanted to say. Not when the clear evidence of it shined right through her green eyes as they never looked away from Regina's. The brunette could tell that Emma was just as scared as she was right now. She wasn't alone in that feeling. Because how could Emma possibly love her? Before, when Regina's feelings were jumbled into a million unsolved pieces, what she feared the most was feeling attracted to Emma more and more, as well as feeling jealous over her only daughter because she had someone like Emma in her life. Now, she feared what she saw in Emma's eyes.
"Yeah," Emma whispered out a single breath, the corners of her lips stretching into a knowing little smile. Her eyes never looked away from Regina's own as she continued, "I love you, Regina." Saying it out loud sure made her throat dry up more, so much she had to swallow. Her fingers laced along with Regina's, just in case the brunette wanted to run away. "I don't know how this happened to me with you, but I don't care. And if loving you is wrong… Well, then I'll gladly walk through the firing pits of hell, barefooted in all. Because I am not about to apologize for what I feel for you. I can't. Not when I'm already in this deep."
Knowing that Emma loved her, and actually hearing Emma say those three little words that meant the world to Regina were two entirely different confronting feelings.
"E- Emma, I-" Regina was at a loss for words. She never imagined ever hearing someone say they loved her with all the sincerity and feeling in the world. Let alone Emma Swan.
"You don't have to say anything." Emma shook her head, giving Regina's hand a gentle squeeze. "Please. Don't." She gave the brunette a reassuring smile that everything was alright on her end. "Just because I've decided to fight through my nerves and fear and come clean to you about how I feel, doesn't mean you have to do the same. If you love me- and I really hope that you do- you will tell me when the time is right. When you are ready to do so. And it won't be because I expect you to or pressured you to do it. It'll be because you want to."
How on earth was Emma so understanding about this? How did she always make Regina feel like she never had to do anything against her will? How did she keep gaining every bit of trust Regina already felt for her and much- much- more? It just wasn't normal. No one could possibly be this good.
But, she was.
Emma was.
Because she wasn't Leopold.
"Emma," Regina whispered, her eyes stinging with tears that Emma is quick to wipe away. Regina reaches for the blonde's wrist, caressing every bit of warm skin she could feel. Emma had moved away from her chair and actually kneeled before Regina. Something she never imagined anyone would ever do. "No other time could be far more perfect than right now. That's the thing about you, Ms. Swan. You make every moment perfect."
Emma leaned in as Regina did, they leaned in until the space between them had obliterated and their lips connected in a kiss that made both women reach higher than they already were on this cliff. They didn't even care that Sidney, having spotted them from waiting in the brunette's Mercedes, had turned a shade of pink. But wore a smile across his lips that spoke volumes. Of course, he worried what would happen if Leopold ever found them out, but right now wasn't the time to worry about something that hadn't happened yet.
Regina was happy. Truly happy with someone that seemed to matter a great deal to her. And that's all that Sidney ever cared about. He knew that whatever Leopold destroyed in Regina over the years. Emma would be happy to mend.